If the USWNT soccer team which crashed out of the 2023 Women's
World Cup was a movie, it would have been a omnibus directed
by 6 different people. There was no cohesiveness. There hasn't
been that under manager Vlatko Andonovski the last 4 years;
he was singularly unqualified to coach the formerly top-ranked
team in the world, and has just been mercifully let go. It was
a transitional period for the USWNT, bedding in players in their
early 20s with World-Cup-winning veterans 10 years their senior,
but it was particularly galling that the chemistry between the
veterans also vanished. Megan Rapinoe passed the ball forward
to long-time teammate Alex Morgan, who squared the ball for
the former to run on to -- only to see it go straight out of play.
Rapinoe hadn't even started running! She was so out-of-shape,
if we had to play her in deference to her stardom she should
have played first halves where usually nothing happened, and
not been used as (no-)impact substitute.

But the main criticism should go to star Sophia Smith, who spent
most of her time cutting inside and running into triple teams.
She was clearly instructed to pass the ball, and even remembered
to do so the first 5 minutes of the later games. But youth and
instincts always took over, and when your coach had won nothing,
why would a superstar player listen? Andonovski should have
positioned Smith as a No. 10, where she scored both her goals
in late-run, midfielder fashion, off Morgan's assist and
challenge to the Vietnam goalkeeper. Or started her on the right
wing where she had her lone assist. Inverted wingers cutting
in to score had been the most dominant players of the last decade,
but teams have found out how to stop them. The US's opponents
swamped Smith (who should have passed the ball early), and with
Morgan tying up the center backs this opened up space for the
right side winger. Unfortunately, as anyone who follows the
USWNT knows, Trinity Rodman's finishing is always streaky at best.
Lynn Williams also squandered huge chances, but at least she
crossed the ball to Morgan who came alive when Williams was
introduced in the Sweden game.

The Dutch team would have been a WWE movie. They seemed to
spend most of their time in 1-v.-1 wrestling matches, kicking
the ball out of the opponents' feet, even pulling the pony
tail of a U.S. midfielder at one point. They set women's soccer
aesthetics back 20 years. They scored their goal against the
U.S. when Crystal Dunn did her own customary _Walkabout_
movie. Even the most casual fan (never mind the opposing
coaches) knows by now: Dunn has minimal positional discipline.
In the second half Rose Lavelle, just back from injury, came
on. The smallest and nicest of the U.S. players, she put in
two vicious, captain's tackles right away and that seemed
to wake up the physically bullied U.S. team. One day she will
be a great USWNT captain.

The French team was probably a Marvel Comics movie, all action
and running and no plot. The players had astonishing stamina
and run up and down the field without fatigue. But they had
apparently never heard of the lateral pass, had no guile, went
vertical every time. They did not last and were not missed.

Spain was "Breaking Bad," I suppose. They had amazingly skilled
players -- Golden Ball winner Aitani Bonmati's footwork prior
to her goal against Switzerland had to be seen to be believed.
But this was a thuggish team; in the last Olympics they did their
best to injure Alex Morgan. Morgan would be clearing a corner
in her own box, and five seconds later a Spanish player would
still kick her to the ground. Not even professional teams do
that kind of thing. I would never root for a team like that.

Jamaica was Melanie Laurent's _Plonger_. The pundits kept
praising Jamaica, which did not have a professional women's
league. But most of their players played for U.S. colleges,
and their star striker Shaw was with Manchester United. She
also dived (threw herself to the ground) at least 5 times a
game to draw penalties and somehow was never booked. A
disgraceful, unsportsmanlike display, and a dreadful example
for young players.

Finally, Sweden's journey to 3rd place had the drama of an
angst-ridden epic poem, an _Ashes of Time_. It was certainly
the last hurrah for its golden generation of big, physically
and technically gifted players; once again they fell short.
Captain and daughter of Kosovo immigrants Kosovare Asllani
even said she was tired of crying big tour tournament tears.
Asllani probably thought herself partly to blame for the
losing goal against Spain, when she was late rushing out to
block the Spanish left back's shot (although her goalkeeper
should have saved it). In the consolation game she more than
redeemed herself, willing her team to victory. She was in
the middle of every scrap, seemed to have made every tackle,
pressed from the front relentlessly, and got into a full-speed
collision that reminded me of John Elway in Superbowl XXXII.
Somehow she got back up and scored one of the prettiest goals
of the tournament to seal 3rd place. What a warrior. When
she is done with soccer she will be a great actress. Her
understudy Madelen Janogy, also daughter of immigrants (her
father was from Mali), would be a worthy successor some day.
These immigrants are impressive species, aren't they?

Next up: "George and Tammy", if/when amazon and the internet
finally let me finish it.