Rocksolid Light

Welcome to novaBBS (click a section below)

mail  files  register  newsreader  groups  login

Message-ID:  

Don't worry if you're a kleptomaniac; you can always take something for it.


arts / rec.arts.comics.creative / LNH: Classic LNH Adventures #216: LNH Comics Presents #507-507.5

SubjectAuthor
o LNH: Classic LNH Adventures #216: LNH Comics Presents #507-507.5Arthur Spitzer

1
LNH: Classic LNH Adventures #216: LNH Comics Presents #507-507.5

<8cf45e87-3e43-4cff-981a-5a7980ce7121n@googlegroups.com>

  copy mid

https://www.novabbs.com/arts/article-flat.php?id=1133&group=rec.arts.comics.creative#1133

  copy link   Newsgroups: rec.arts.comics.creative
Path: i2pn2.org!i2pn.org!paganini.bofh.team!news.killfile.org!news.eyrie.org!.POSTED!not-for-mail
From: arspitz...@gmail.com (Arthur Spitzer)
Newsgroups: rec.arts.comics.creative
Subject: LNH: Classic LNH Adventures #216: LNH Comics Presents #507-507.5
Date: Sun, 19 Sep 2021 21:16:31 -0000 (UTC)
Sender: eagle@eyrie.org
Approved: racc-request@eyrie.org
Message-ID: <8cf45e87-3e43-4cff-981a-5a7980ce7121n@googlegroups.com>
Mime-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="UTF-8"
Injection-Date: Sun, 19 Sep 2021 21:16:11 +0000
Injection-Info: hope.eyrie.org;
logging-data="6156"; mail-complaints-to="news@eyrie.org"
User-Agent: G2/1.0
Return-Path: <news@google.com>
X-Google-Dkim-Signature: v=1; a=rsa-sha256; c=relaxed/relaxed;
d=1e100.net; s=20210112;
h=x-gm-message-state:path:newsgroups:date:injection-info
:nntp-posting-host:user-agent:mime-version:message-id:subject:from
:injection-date:to;
bh=dwBLorgbubqf36FAEIMDTHjajc4qCQZ6BxMSATuyOY0=;
b=ilJkW1IaZ76IhvByoHYyfhX8MVPmIOKCyPGTd6Beb6nMgo6C8N4Vc/l06yIujjB1qn
j3+bDJX7luby3gBER6eSxxp+QoiYNM3WEoN8w2qEOu0rQblNXQ3acSXBLM1WENFhuOSW
u57iBqVh5hyL0COsz1h6DzJ3jYFs3V9ltcB8bZbKSCWMgNE5Gx1KSu0RR2s2ajY1zg63
MnKsS3r+NaFSVzhxXxdjA7/YNP+iNdy4VmqOYIy6cC1O4nrp5EawWWQ9je6BiZfJxJRP
clKovK6YqshA/dvIurYlrXsmhFe2nn0Gyu2myIRwJRgT51Ip549eSYi63XZksa8b7iZq
1xqg==
X-Gm-Message-State: AOAM532JNf64E2XS0LhXSpURbDRXRA0WA5pZ1qEjYdvHZQgVYtL8JtiF
4FH52/7u8PCOCQpY8nfj1Lixwzhbtoh6RCeDLkw=
X-Google-SMTP-Source: ABdhPJz+EeFY6qCv1ZddTnz9MyD+2SCKJwKXADe3rYzDDEHFq3LSPo3bY0u1sVMRzb9CrAk3bUh4jk5sKl5r0zzLrZFw/L8yLXHn
X-Received: by 2002:ac8:5710:: with SMTP id 16mr19770580qtw.395.1632086171392;
Sun, 19 Sep 2021 14:16:11 -0700 (PDT)
X-Received: by 2002:ac8:4292:: with SMTP id o18mr20029871qtl.75.1632086171195;
Sun, 19 Sep 2021 14:16:11 -0700 (PDT)
X-Mail-Path: moderators.individual.net!mail-qk1-f199.google.com[209.85.222.199]!news@google.com
X-Original-Date: Sun, 19 Sep 2021 14:16:10 -0700 (PDT)
X-Original-Injection-Info: google-groups.googlegroups.com; posting-host=70.59.246.54; posting-account=Ny8uCwoAAADeZhX_QMecfVHvQkzfGCiQ
X-Original-NNTP-Posting-Host: 70.59.246.54
 by: Arthur Spitzer - Sun, 19 Sep 2021 21:16 UTC

You can sift through the racc list archive
https://lists.eyrie.org/pipermail/racc/
or you can try google groups racc for these issues of LNH Comics Presents.

Man, I completely forgot I ever wrote these issues of LNH Comics Presents --
Anyways, LNH Comics Presents #507-507.5 by me (Arthur Spitzer) introduces for
the very first time -- The LNH? Who is The LNH? (Well, okay these issues
were inspired by the cover art Wil Alambre did back on his website where he'd
do various cover art to various LNH series -- this was probably for LNH Comics
Presents. I don't know if that website still exists, but my cover text blurb
for this issue kind of describes what it looked like.)

Anyways, will The LNH survive this issue? And if he doesn't will it be
because he wasn't really The LNH?!!

Find out in...

_
| | Classic
| | =
| | ____ ____ _ ____ ___
| |__ | [] | | [] | | | | [] | | _ \

|____| \__] \__ | |_| \__/ |_|\_\
||
|_| OF NET.HEROES

ADVENTURES #216

=====================
LNH Comics Presents #507-507.5
=====================

From: Arthur Spitzer arspitzer at earthlink.net
Date: Sat Aug 13 18:29:54 PDT 2011

---------------------------------------------------------
When the mad Dr. Killfile threatened to destroy the
Internet -- THEY answered the call! Today, THEIR strange
and mighty powers are our last, best line of defense
against crime, disaster, and unspeakable horror! THEY are
our knights in shining spandex... the LEGION OF NET.HEROES!
---------------------------------------------------------

[Cover: A superhero with blonde hair takes off his white labcoat and
purple tie to reveal a red and blue costume with the letters 'LNH'
printed boldly in black on his chest. On the left side of him is a
circle panel with some guy with goggles staring at the hero's knee. In
the center is text that says, "THE LEGION IS BACK!"]

WHAT HAS GONE BEFORE: The LNH saved the Loonited States from a large
group of zombie Presidents controlled by a Lich Nixon. And now...

**** **** ****

The Legion of Net.Heroes Headquarters --
Net.ropolis, USA --
August 13, 2011 --

Kyoko Ishikawa as she manned the LNH receptionist desk put some
finishing touches to her toothpick sculpture of Hannibal Hamlin. She
looked at the face of Lincoln's first Vice President as she held it in
her hand. She had been making these toothpick Vice President sculptures
ever since that whole Dead President's debacle and she wasn't sure why.
She just had this urge to do it and keep on doing it till she had
sculpted every single former US Vice President that had ever existed.
She put the sculpture aside as she noticed some tall blonde guy enter
the LNH's lobby.

He was wearing a labcoat and purple tie and he was ripping them all off.
Oh hell, Master Blaster hadn't hired another male stripper, had he?
Fortunately the guy stopped there. Under the labcoat was your typical
red superhero costume with a blue cape and blue boots.

"Um, hello? Can I help you with something?" said Kyoko, "Are you here
to join? Attack?"

The superhero smiled. "I'm here to join this fine organization."

"Right. Name?"

"I'm -- THE LNH!"

"The -- umm LNH?"

"Yes! THE LNH!!"

"And does that stand for something?"

"Of course! It stands for..." And then the superhero gave a long
dramatic pause.

And finally looking towards the heavens (or in this case the ceiling) he
said, "LEAPING NACHO HURTER!!!!!!!!!!"

"Right," said Kyoko scribbling down something on a piece of paper.

**** **** ****

LEGION OF NET.HEROES COMICS PRESENTS #507:

"Introducing -- THE LNH!"

By Arthur Spitzer

**** **** ****

The LNH TV and Easy Chair Room --

As the Ultimate Ninja walked into the room, he could see that it was
already filled with the usual suspects. Time Waster Lad, Super Apathy
Lad, Procrastination Boy, Coward Lad, and various others. Everyone in
the room seemed to be eating nachos. Some day -- some day -- I will
burn this place to the ground, thought Ultimate Ninja.

The Ultimate Ninja took out the folder he was holding and opened it up.
"*Ahem*. I need to speak with -- *ahem* The Leaping Nacho Hurter. Is
he here?"

The Leaping Nacho Hurter raised his hand. "Yep. That's me."

"And you want to join the LNH. Your powers are?"

"I hurt nachos. And I'm the best at what I do. Hurting nachos that is."

"This is a prank, right?" said Ultimate Ninja closing the folder up
again. "Master Blaster or Sarcastic Lad or Frat Boy -- they put you up
to this right? Just tell me who it was -- and I won't hurt you. I
promise."

Leaping Nacho Hurter shook his head. "This is real. This is as real as
it gets. Perhaps I should tell you my origin story."

"Perhaps."

"When I was a kid, my parents were circus performers -- tightrope
walkers. Anyways, they refused to pay protection money to this mob and
so one day when they were performing the act some gangster type cut the
rope and..."

"And they fell to ground and died, right?"

"Not quite. Actually they fell into a giant vat of hot nacho cheese
sauce and were boiled to death. Anyways after that some group of monks
kidnapped and raised me. They taught me the ways of the nacho -- and
how to hurt nachos."

"And why in the world did they do that?"

"Someday the most dangerous Nacho of all shall come. A nacho called
Nacho the Leaping Nacho. It is a destroyer of worlds that no one can
stop unless they've been trained in the art of nacho hurting -- like me.
That's why you need me as a member of the LNH. I'm the only one who
can possibly stop Nacho the Leaping Nacho."

"If what you're saying is true -- then why can't I just seek out these
monks and learn from them the art of *ahem* nacho hurting?"

"If only that were true. Alas, all the monks are dead."

"How?"

"It was a bad bowl of nachos. A very bad bowl of nachos. Regardless, I
am the last of the Nacho Hurting Brotherhood. Only I know the hurting
nacho ways."

"So you say. And what other skills do you have?"

"Skills? I hurt nachos. That's about it."

"And how do you expect to fight supervillains with only the ability to
-- hurt nachos?"

"Well, I wasn't really planning on fighting non-nacho supervillains. I
see myself as more of a hero that hangs around the LNH waiting for the
next Nacho crisis to arrive. And nipping it in the bud."

"And the rest of the time you'd be doing what exactly? Watching TV and
eating nachos?"

Leaping Nacho Hurter stuffed another chip into his mouth. "Actually
this is Nachocise."

"Nachocise?"

"Yes. Nachocise. It's a vigorous technique for building and
strengthening both the body and the mind. I must do a number of
nachocises a day to maintain peak body performance."

"Yeah," laughed Time Waster Lad stuffing some chips in his mouth.
"That's what I'm doing too. Nachocise!"

"Yeah," said a smirking Procrastination Boy. "We're all nachocising!
Look at my muscles grow!"

"I'd be nachocising too, except that I'm afraid of nachos," said a
cringing Coward Lad.

"That's it!" said Ultimate Ninja. "Everyone who isn't named Leaping
Nacho Hurter -- out. Unless you want to find out what the After Life
looks like in 15 seconds -- then please stay. Everyone! Even you --
guy with the goggles!!"

"Thanks a lot -- Leaping Nacho Hurter!" grumbled Goggles Guy as he
wheeled out Super Apathy Lad.

"And as for you -- Leaping Nacho Hurter..."

"You can call me The LNH for short if you want."

"No. That's not going to happen. And watching TV and eating nachos
isn't going to cut it when you're in the..."

"Nachocise," corrected Leaping Nacho Hurter.

The Ultimate Ninja held the edge of his Ginsu Katana blade close to
Leaping Nacho Hurter's chin. "Believe me. You don't want to say that
word again."

"Okay. But if you don't make me an LNH'r it could have very bad
consequences for the world."

"Is that some kind of threat?"

"No. Just a fact. If I don't have some type of a job, I won't be able
to afford nachos. And without nachos I won't be able to do my umm nacho
exercises. So I won't be in peak physical shape to stop Nacho the
Leaping Nacho when it comes. Are you prepared to risk the entire world?
I mean it's not like you don't have a bunch of other LNH'rs that hang
around doing nothing useful. Like Coward Lad."


Click here to read the complete article
1
server_pubkey.txt

rocksolid light 0.9.8
clearnet tor