[The cover is an homage to the stapler-taking scene in the
movie Office Space, with Solar Max having his stapler (which
is mostly red but has his orange and yellow insignia on it as
well) taken away by a shadowy silhouette with an insincere
grin standing out white against the blackness.]

.|. COHERENT COMICS UNINCORPORATED presents ACADEMY OF SUPER-HEROES #123
--X------------------------------------------------------------------------
'|` /|(`| | City of Night Part 4 of 6: The Midnight Oil
/-|.)|-| copyright 2018 by Dave Van Domelen
___________________________________________________________________________

ACADEMY OF SUPER-HEROES ROLL CALL

CODENAME REAL NAME POWERS ASSIGNMENT
-------- --------- ------ ----------
Solar Max Jonathan Zachary Spacetime Control AMERICA
"JakZak" Taylor
Meteor Sarah Grant-Taylor Superspeed AMERICA
Poniente Esmeralda Colina Wind Mage AMERICA
Scorch Scott Handleman Pyrokinetic CANADA
Centurion Salvatore Napier Strength, Regeneration MEXICO
Fury Arin Kelsey Concussion Blasts MEXICO
Contact Aaron Zander Psi, Mind-over-Body DIPLOMATIC
Breaker Christina Li Telekinesis DIPLOMATIC
Essay Sara Ana Henderson Gadgeteer VENUS
Peregryn Howard Henderson Jr. Elemental Mage VENUS
Beacon George Sylvester Living Light VENUS
Geode Unknown Living Crystal VENUS
Lightfoot Tom Dodson Velocity Control TRANSIT
------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[January 15, 2027 - Eurasian Union Regional Assembly, Prague]

The normally untalkative Oni was, oddly, the one to break the silence
following Solar Max's suggestion that they use the Multiversal Office as a
pathway into Berlin.
"You weren't there, Hotspur. We were just guarding the door."
That broke the tension, and while no one actually laughed or even
snickered, there was a palpable sense that most people wanted to.
"Are you sure that's safe?" Gerhard Hesse, the STRAFE representative,
asked. "I've seen some of the paperwork generated by the new Combine Office
of Alternative Personhood [see Time Capsules #13 - Ed.], but they've only
been working on this for a few months. An awful lot of our most useful
people to send into Berlin might still have some classification issues."
Solar Max nodded. "As much as I'd love to send in Beacon or even Geode
for a mission like this, their status may not be regularized enough to last
long in the Office." Left unsaid was the fact that Geode's status was far
more complicated than just being an "alternative person" made of crystal. By
birth she was a citizen of the Muslim Coalition, assumed dead during the
World Serpent affair [in ASH #50 - Ed.], which meant that she could get filed
under "dead" by the Office as well. And trying to clear up that mess would
cause a diplomatic fecal-nado with the MC. "We want at least one speedster
who can scout around Berlin while the rest of us might he having to hold a
beachhead, Meteor is the safer bet between her and Lightfoot," he nodded to
his wife. "Arc, I'm guessing you want to be on the team?"
Claire Auger nodded. "My speed is not of the 'scouting around' variety,
but based on reading the information you supplied after your last encounter
with the office, the occasional burst may be useful inside the Office. I
believe Oni should accompany us physically. The computers in the Office may
not have registered as true computers as far as Netwalker was concerned, but
they may still use electricity, and Oni is sensitive to the ebb and flow of
current even when not acting as an electric ghost."
Oni seemed uncomfortable with the idea, but said nothing.
"I'll want a decent-sized team at this end in case things go completely
pear-shaped and darkness demons come pouring out the door," Solar Max added,
"and that should also include a few veterans of the Office to make a second
attempt if we never come out. Scorch, Centurion, Breaker...you get
rearguard. Lightfoot's on his way from Venus and can join you. Poniente, I
want you along for the mystic angle."
Arc turned to her side of the table, "Hotspur and Rechtigkeit will join
them. You both have...checkered...pasts that might cause problems in the
Office. Things that the Ministry of Other Intelligences wouldn't be able to
smooth over."
The two grumbled, but acquiesced.
"There should be more than one mage," Terrastar pointed out. "Assuming
that the Office will admit me to the EU branch, I doubt there'd be any issues
surrounding my...paperwork."
Arc was the first to reply, "Non. I'm more concerned that your status
as a royal heir on your Earth would give you too much power in the Office,
and the EU is not willing to grant you access to our section of the
Multiversal Office."
"Perhaps I might be a compromise candidate, then, since I doubt Mr. Tang
is experienced enough at this stage in his career?" Sadi Pasteur
interjected. "Oh, you don't trust me any more than you trust Ms. Hectrix,
I'll grant that. But neither do I have much raw power in my own right.
Given time I could probably subvert aspects of the Office, naturally, but I
could not do it with the casual ease you suspect Terrastar could manage. And
while I admit Khadam's own situation regarding 'alternative persons' is a bit
unsettled at the moment, I am barely removed from baseline humanity. My
talent is in observing and organizing."
Peregryn, from his enchanted tablet computer propped up on the table,
added, "As much as I know any representative of Glyph's has ulterior motives,
I agree that Monsieur Pasteur would be an asset in this situation. Poniente
is skilled and perceptive enough to recognize it if he attempts any ritual or
symbolic magic, and...to be honest...we may well need someone inside Berlin
who can..."
"Think like a villain?" Sadi smirked. "Indeed. Helping my patron run
a city of 'villainy,'" he looked like he was about to make air-quotes but
only barely restrained himself, "has been one of my duties. If Lady Sable's
plans for Berlin require any sort of participation on the part of the
citizens, I will recognize the clues quite quickly."
"And if there's going to be an untested potential weak link on the
team," Daniel Tang narrowed his eyes and looked at Pasteur, "it might as well
be someone no one would miss, right?"

* * * *

[January 16, 2027 - The Multiversal Office, Eurasian Union Reception]

"We're not leaving the EU sector," Solar Max cautioned the small group
as it entered through the nondescript door in the Prague office building.
"But that doesn't mean we can't get lost, or run afoul of red tape. In
principle, it's likely we just need to go through that door," he gestured to
a doorway next to the empty reception desk, "find a floor map, and walk at
most a hundred meters to find our way out."
"But that's like saying we just need to stop by to renew our driver's
license," Arc nodded. "We could spend all day diverted from one thing to
another."
"It's so empty," Poniente noted as the door shut behind them, leaving
the sextet fully within the interdimensional reality. "There's no soul to
this room, even though it looks like someone just stepped out for coffee,"
she ran a gloved hand along the top of the reception desk, coming away
totally clean. "It's...waiting."
"The Office wants to be used," Meteor nodded, "but it's a trap. Like a
pitcher plant. Maybe accepting its invitation would benefit us in the long
run, but..." she shuddered, her speed rendering it almost a buzz.
"I don't sense any electricity," Oni looked about the reception room,
then up at the overhead lights. "The surface details all look like one would
expect from a modern office, but the lights...just work. No current, the
light isn't really light either. We just think there's light."
"And that isn't ominous at all, is it?" Pasteur bent to inspect a potted
plant. "Like this plant. If you look closely, it's not artificial, but
neither is it living. It lacks the aura of life, does it not, Poniente?" he
turned to ASH's mage.
She shook her head. "Like Oni said. It all looks normal and mundane,
but none of this is real. The plant does have an aura of life, but it's
incredibly faint and indistinguishable from the aura of this desk, or the
carpet. I think the entire dimension is alive, its spirit spread out over an
unimaginable volume."
"Should we go in now, or wait to see if someone...something...comes back
to the reception desk?" Arc asked.
"We didn't wait at the desk last time," Solar Max shrugged. He wasn't
wearing his usual armor, due to its bulk, but the "dress uniform" he had on
was well armored and had a few surprises built into it, just in case. "But
something feels more alive than last time, doesn't it?" he turned to his
wife.
Meteor paused. "I think you're right. Which is weird, because it's
Saturday, you'd think it'd feel less alive. Assuming the Office observes
weekends. It's always Monday somewhere, I guess?"
"Worst case, it means Lady Sable's already sent some people through from
her end..." Pasteur smiled in a very discomfiting way.

On 10/11/21 1:33 PM, Dave Van Domelen wrote:
> [The cover is an homage to the stapler-taking scene in the
> movie Office Space, with Solar Max having his stapler (which
> is mostly red but has his orange and yellow insignia on it as
> well) taken away by a shadowy silhouette with an insincere
> grin standing out white against the blackness.]

X3 Awwww yeah, here we go

> The normally untalkative Oni was, oddly, the one to break the silence
> following Solar Max's suggestion that they use the Multiversal Office as a
> pathway into Berlin.
> "You weren't there, Hotspur. We were just guarding the door."
> That broke the tension, and while no one actually laughed or even
> snickered, there was a palpable sense that most people wanted to.

Heeheehee :3

> "Are you sure that's safe?" Gerhard Hesse, the STRAFE representative,
> asked. "I've seen some of the paperwork generated by the new Combine Office
> of Alternative Personhood [see Time Capsules #13 - Ed.], but they've only
> been working on this for a few months. An awful lot of our most useful
> people to send into Berlin might still have some classification issues."

Oh, I'd forgotten about that. <3

> And trying to clear up that mess would
> cause a diplomatic fecal-nado with the MC.

X3 What a good term

> "I'll want a decent-sized team at this end in case things go completely
> pear-shaped and darkness demons come pouring out the door," Solar Max added,
> "and that should also include a few veterans of the Office to make a second
> attempt if we never come out.

Darkness demons in business casual!! D:

> "There should be more than one mage," Terrastar pointed out. "Assuming
> that the Office will admit me to the EU branch, I doubt there'd be any issues
> surrounding my...paperwork."
> Arc was the first to reply, "Non. I'm more concerned that your status
> as a royal heir on your Earth would give you too much power in the Office,
> and the EU is not willing to grant you access to our section of the
> Multiversal Office."

Ah, an excellent point. X3;;;

> "Think like a villain?" Sadi smirked. "Indeed. Helping my patron run
> a city of 'villainy,'" he looked like he was about to make air-quotes but
> only barely restrained himself,

heeheehee

> "It's so empty," Poniente noted as the door shut behind them, leaving
> the sextet fully within the interdimensional reality. "There's no soul to
> this room, even though it looks like someone just stepped out for coffee,"
> she ran a gloved hand along the top of the reception desk, coming away
> totally clean. "It's...waiting."
> "The Office wants to be used," Meteor nodded, "but it's a trap. Like a
> pitcher plant. Maybe accepting its invitation would benefit us in the long
> run, but..." she shuddered, her speed rendering it almost a buzz.

I feel like I've acquired a new perspective on things since I wrote the issue of
ALNHT?R? with Library Lad and the Office... I should come back to that sometime...

> "I don't sense any electricity," Oni looked about the reception room,
> then up at the overhead lights. "The surface details all look like one would
> expect from a modern office, but the lights...just work. No current, the
> light isn't really light either. We just think there's light."
> "And that isn't ominous at all, is it?"

Indeed. o3o;

> The plant does have an aura of life, but it's
> incredibly faint and indistinguishable from the aura of this desk, or the
> carpet. I think the entire dimension is alive, its spirit spread out over an
> unimaginable volume."

ooooooh fascinating

> Meteor paused. "I think you're right. Which is weird, because it's
> Saturday, you'd think it'd feel less alive. Assuming the Office observes
> weekends. It's always Monday somewhere, I guess?"

Mission to Margaritaville!

> "Worst case, it means Lady Sable's already sent some people through from
> her end..." Pasteur smiled in a very discomfiting way.

Oh dear.

> One of the stranger
> results of this new world "translating" the refugees of M'emba's home reality
> was that many of the common folk shared one of a handful of appearances. It
> was never something she recalled being a significant issue back home, the
> similarity was sometimes noted but was never a real problem. Here, they
> formed what amounted to clone cohorts, down to the DNA. Most of them even
> shared a given name, such as Tyrone, but even those who didn't have the
> "family" name had come to be referred to by the most common name of their
> genetic type.

Hmmmmm, I see, I see

> "What would you ask of me, honored rock?" M'emba arched her eyebrow.
> "If you don't recognize a communication spell, shaman, then we might not
> have any use for each other," a woman's voice spoke as lips formed on the
> surface of the stone. "But if I could not recognize sarcasm, the same would
> be true."

X3 <3

> "My gods are dead, because we killed them millennia ago," the stone
> replied. "Judging by what the gods did in this world, I'd say we made the
> right decision.

I mean, fair.

> Now, this is purest supposition, but I have learned
> that the existence of magic means that wild coincidences are more likely than
> people would think. I believe that our would-be new goddess might have found
> a way to feed upon the power of your dead god...or someone enough like him
> for you to feel the similarity."

Awwwww shit! (I mean, we, the audience, knew that, but awwwww shit!)

> "So, the only way to find out more is to open the door," Sadi shrugged,
> stepping forwards. "I'll open it and get out of the way, while one of you
> sturdier sorts stands ready to greet the room?"

"Greet the room" is such a good term for it.

> Every cubicle within view was occupied by a featureless female humanoid
> figure, like a mannequin made from the thinnest porcelain. None of them
> looked towards the door or gave any sign they could see or hear anything
> other than their workload.
> "What are...?" Poniente started to ask as she edged out of hiding.
> "Matrioshkas. The Impossible Five have infiltrated the Multiversal
> Office somehow," Solar Max replied.

!!! Holy shit :o Didn't expect that!

> "Yes, I know it's the weekend," she replied to the annoyed voice on the
> other end. "Otto's taken the whole trust fund. Yes, you know I have ways of
> knowing, but check for yourself. None of his other little hacks got away
> with much before the watchdog programs kicked in, you need to get someone
> on...WHAT? The system thinks he's an adult now? How the...it thinks this is
> the year 2052?"

Oh no. X3

> "Makes sense," Meteor observed as the rest of the group slowly left the
> reception area, Pasteur last of them. "If any one of the shells could remain
> under Matrioshka's control long enough to do useful work, she wouldn't have
> needed to spawn off so many."
> "Or she got a LOT of work done," Pasteur pointed out.
> "Thanks, I was trying to not think about that," Arc sighed.

Heeheehee

> "I guess we
> just have to hope that whatever the Impossible Five's mission here was, it
> failed. I don't suppose we can figure out how long ago these shells were
> abandoned to their fate?"

Oh huhhhh, I see

> "Meteor, try a quick in-out and see if anything reacts?" Arc suggested,
> and Solar Max nodded.
> As soon as the speedster started to move, the nearest Matrioshkas leapt
> from their cubicles and barred the way, with Meteor almost slamming into them
> before reversing course.

Well then. o.o

> "Czzzn't kkkktrrrl..." the normally silent shell sputtered before
> bursting into nanoparticle dust.
> As one, all of the Matrioshkas swarmed towards the assembled heroes
> (and one villain).
> "Oni must've hit a security override!" Solar Max shouted.
> "I hate fight scenes!"

I love 'em :3

> The next minute or so was a flurry of porcelain shards and dust as the
> mindless and effectively directionless shells executed some sort of failsafe
> that even the Office hadn't weeded out of them. Unlike the fight around
> Monaco, though, they did not seem particularly dangerous and were quite
> fragile.
> Before long, the office was faintly dusty for the first time in perhaps
> its entire history, the dust being made up of self-destructed nanoparticle
> armor.