Greedy Vlad banned homosexuals in Russia so he can keep them all for himself.

It's Okay To Have A Small Penis, World Tells Putin
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RUSSIAN prime minister Vladimir Putin has been told it is okay to have a
smaller than average penis and that he can stop all this nonsense whenever he
likes.

A United Nation's resolution has called on the bear-chested, gun-toting,
horse wrestler to come to terms with his penis size and perhaps read a book
or take up fly-fishing instead.

Putin's KGB bodyguard Mikhail Kurkov, said: "Every day he wants to be
photographed firing a bazooka or fighting a massive animal.

"This morning we had to ship in a drugged gorilla just so that he could give
it a karate chop. Then it was off to the mountains to shoot anti-tank guns at
goats with his top off."

He added: "A particularly slow four-year-old could work out the subtext. He
thinks he's Russian politics' answer to Bruce Willis but really he's more
like a Jeremy Clarkson with less hair and more appeal to homosexuals.

"And before you ask � yes, it is miniscule."

Putin's Facebook page lists his favourite film as Lone Wolf McQuade, his
favourite song as Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins and his favourite food as 'the
raw, still-beating heart, torn from the fresh carcass of the black boar of
Svetlograd'."

Olga Kamarov, Putin's nan, said: "It's understandable. It is like a scale
model of a normal boy's parts.

'When he was little we used to make jokes about it, saying that the fairies
had magicked away his bits, but now I feel perhaps we scarred the boy."

His housekeeper Anya added: "Yes, I've seen it too. It's like a little
mushroom. Ha ha ha."