yaaraan-e-maHfil:

"kyaa baat hai k saaGhar-o-meenaa udaas haiN?
HaalaaN-k aaj 'Qais' bhii aaye huye to haiN"!

maHfil ka sukuut toRne ke liye, aek saadhaaran si Ghazal pesh-e-Khidmat hai ---gar qubuul uftad!

Hasb-e-ma'amuul, aap sabhii dostoN ki aaraa ka intezaar rahe ga.

---------------

matl'a arz hai:

1. maanaa k tiraa faiz abhii aam naheeN hai
kyaa ‘Qais’ ki Khaatir bhi ko’ii jaam naheeN hai?

2. merii yeh shikaayat k mujhe Taal rahe haiN
un kaa yeh bahaana k abhii ‘shaam’ naheeN hai!

3. chhiRte hi Ghazal uRne lagaa raNg kisii kaa
HaalaaN-k kaheeN par bhi ko’ii naam naheeN hai

4. din bhar tiri yaadeN haiN to shab bhar tire sapne
deevaane ko ab aur ko’ii kaam naheeN hai!

5. voh dil hi naheeN jis meN tirii yaad naheeN hai
voh lab hi naheeN jis pe tiraa naam naheeN hai

6. apnoN se shikaayat hai na GhairoN se gilaa hai
taqdeer hi aisii hai k aaraam naheeN hai

7. dil saaz-e-tamanna hai magar soz se Khaalii
aavaaz hi aavaaz hai, paiGhaam naheeN hai!

8. yeh shoKhi-e-taHreer falak se naheeN utrii
yeh mashq-e-suKhan hai, ko’i ilhaam naheeN hai

aur ab maqt'a arz hai:

9. yeh Qais-e-balaa-nosh bhi kyaa cheez hai, yaaro!
bad-qaul hai, bad-fe’l hai --- bad-naam naheeN hai!!!

----------------

du'aa-go, Raj Kumar

RK sahib,

ghazal itnii bhi saadhaaran nahiiN hai. :)
maiN is vaqt sirf rasiid pesh kar rahii huuN, tafsiili javaab udhaar hai.

_____Zoya

On Sunday, June 20, 2021 at 10:26:46 PM UTC-4, Raj Kumar wrote:
> yaaraan-e-maHfil:
>
> "kyaa baat hai k saaGhar-o-meenaa udaas haiN?
> HaalaaN-k aaj 'Qais' bhii aaye huye to haiN"!
>
> maHfil ka sukuut toRne ke liye, aek saadhaaran si Ghazal pesh-e-Khidmat hai ---gar qubuul uftad!
>
> Hasb-e-ma'amuul, aap sabhii dostoN ki aaraa ka intezaar rahe ga.
>
> ---------------
>
> matl'a arz hai:
>
> 1. maanaa k tiraa faiz abhii aam naheeN hai
> kyaa ‘Qais’ ki Khaatir bhi ko’ii jaam naheeN hai?
>
> 2. merii yeh shikaayat k mujhe Taal rahe haiN
> un kaa yeh bahaana k abhii ‘shaam’ naheeN hai!
>
> 3. chhiRte hi Ghazal uRne lagaa raNg kisii kaa
> HaalaaN-k kaheeN par bhi ko’ii naam naheeN hai
>
> 4. din bhar tiri yaadeN haiN to shab bhar tire sapne
> deevaane ko ab aur ko’ii kaam naheeN hai!
>
> 5. voh dil hi naheeN jis meN tirii yaad naheeN hai
> voh lab hi naheeN jis pe tiraa naam naheeN hai
>
> 6. apnoN se shikaayat hai na GhairoN se gilaa hai
> taqdeer hi aisii hai k aaraam naheeN hai
>
> 7. dil saaz-e-tamanna hai magar soz se Khaalii
> aavaaz hi aavaaz hai, paiGhaam naheeN hai!
>
> 8. yeh shoKhi-e-taHreer falak se naheeN utrii
> yeh mashq-e-suKhan hai, ko’i ilhaam naheeN hai
>
> aur ab maqt'a arz hai:
>
> 9. yeh Qais-e-balaa-nosh bhi kyaa cheez hai, yaaro!
> bad-qaul hai, bad-fe’l hai --- bad-naam naheeN hai!!!
>
> ----------------
>
> du'aa-go, Raj Kumar
>

muhtaram RK sb, aadaab arz hai!

jis Ghazal meN jaam, shaam, naam, kaam aur aaraam ho, vuh saadhaaran kaise ho saktii hai! :) hameshaa kii tarah aap kii Ghazal dilkash aur pur.lutf hai. daad qubuul farmaaiye!

niyaazmad,
Irfan :Abid:

On Sunday, June 20, 2021 at 10:26:46 PM UTC-4, Raj Kumar wrote:
> yaaraan-e-maHfil:
>
> "kyaa baat hai k saaGhar-o-meenaa udaas haiN?
> HaalaaN-k aaj 'Qais' bhii aaye huye to haiN"!
>
> maHfil ka sukuut toRne ke liye, aek saadhaaran si Ghazal pesh-e-Khidmat hai ---gar qubuul uftad!
>
> Hasb-e-ma'amuul, aap sabhii dostoN ki aaraa ka intezaar rahe ga.
>
> ---------------
>
> matl'a arz hai:
>
> 1. maanaa k tiraa faiz abhii aam naheeN hai
> kyaa ‘Qais’ ki Khaatir bhi ko’ii jaam naheeN hai?
>
> 2. merii yeh shikaayat k mujhe Taal rahe haiN
> un kaa yeh bahaana k abhii ‘shaam’ naheeN hai!
>
> 3. chhiRte hi Ghazal uRne lagaa raNg kisii kaa
> HaalaaN-k kaheeN par bhi ko’ii naam naheeN hai
>
> 4. din bhar tiri yaadeN haiN to shab bhar tire sapne
> deevaane ko ab aur ko’ii kaam naheeN hai!
>
> 5. voh dil hi naheeN jis meN tirii yaad naheeN hai
> voh lab hi naheeN jis pe tiraa naam naheeN hai
>
> 6. apnoN se shikaayat hai na GhairoN se gilaa hai
> taqdeer hi aisii hai k aaraam naheeN hai
>
> 7. dil saaz-e-tamanna hai magar soz se Khaalii
> aavaaz hi aavaaz hai, paiGhaam naheeN hai!
>
> 8. yeh shoKhi-e-taHreer falak se naheeN utrii
> yeh mashq-e-suKhan hai, ko’i ilhaam naheeN hai
>
> aur ab maqt'a arz hai:
>
> 9. yeh Qais-e-balaa-nosh bhi kyaa cheez hai, yaaro!
> bad-qaul hai, bad-fe’l hai --- bad-naam naheeN hai!!!
>
> ----------------
>
> du'aa-go, Raj Kumar

Waa..h! Qais Saahab, kyaa kehne hai!
Agar aisi Ghazal ko aap “ saadhaaraN “ kehte haiN to phir aap ki nazar meN “ asaadhaaraN” kyaa hogi?

Bahot Khuub Ghazal kahii hai, janaab!
PaRh kar dil Khush ho gayaa.
Mandarjah zel ash’aar ziyadah achChhe lagay.

4. din bhar tiri yaadeN haiN to shab bhar tire sapne
deevaane ko ab aur ko’ii kaam naheeN hai! 👍👍👍

7. dil saaz-e-tamanna hai magar soz se Khaalii
aavaaz hi aavaaz hai, paiGhaam naheeN hai! ——kyaa baat hai!

8. yeh shoKhi-e-taHreer falak se naheeN utrii
yeh mashq-e-suKhan hai, ko’i ilhaam naheeN hai!🤔😉

9. yeh Qais-e-balaa-nosh bhi kyaa cheez hai, yaaro!
bad-qaul hai, bad-fe’l hai --- bad-naam naheeN hai!!!

Bahot achChhaa maqtaa’’!
( agar pehla misra’ yuuN kaheN to… ?

“ yeh Qais-e-balaa-nosh bhi kuChh kam nahiiN, yaaro!”

Daad qubuul ho, ustaad ji!

==============================

On Wednesday, June 23, 2021 at 7:53:49 PM UTC-7, Zoya wrote:
> RK sahib,
>
> ghazal itnii bhi saadhaaran nahiiN hai. :)
> maiN is vaqt sirf rasiid pesh kar rahii huuN, tafsiili javaab udhaar hai.

***rasiid mausuul hu'ii, ZS, ab to aap ke tafsiili javaab ka intizaar hai. ummeed hai k aap ko apna va'ada yaad rahe ga varna hameN kahiiN yeh na kahnaa paRe:

tire va'ade par jiye ham ---------------- :-)

R.K.***

On Thursday, June 24, 2021 at 8:12:47 PM UTC-7, Irfan Abid wrote:
> On Sunday, June 20, 2021 at 10:26:46 PM UTC-4, Raj Kumar wrote:
> > yaaraan-e-maHfil:
> >
> > "kyaa baat hai k saaGhar-o-meenaa udaas haiN?
> > HaalaaN-k aaj 'Qais' bhii aaye huye to haiN"!
> >
> > maHfil ka sukuut toRne ke liye, aek saadhaaran si Ghazal pesh-e-Khidmat hai ---gar qubuul uftad!
> >
> > Hasb-e-ma'amuul, aap sabhii dostoN ki aaraa ka intezaar rahe ga.
> >
> > ---------------
> >
> > matl'a arz hai:
> >
> > 1. maanaa k tiraa faiz abhii aam naheeN hai
> > kyaa ‘Qais’ ki Khaatir bhi ko’ii jaam naheeN hai?
> >
> > 2. merii yeh shikaayat k mujhe Taal rahe haiN
> > un kaa yeh bahaana k abhii ‘shaam’ naheeN hai!
> >
> > 3. chhiRte hi Ghazal uRne lagaa raNg kisii kaa
> > HaalaaN-k kaheeN par bhi ko’ii naam naheeN hai
> >
> > 4. din bhar tiri yaadeN haiN to shab bhar tire sapne
> > deevaane ko ab aur ko’ii kaam naheeN hai!
> >
> > 5. voh dil hi naheeN jis meN tirii yaad naheeN hai
> > voh lab hi naheeN jis pe tiraa naam naheeN hai
> >
> > 6. apnoN se shikaayat hai na GhairoN se gilaa hai
> > taqdeer hi aisii hai k aaraam naheeN hai
> >
> > 7. dil saaz-e-tamanna hai magar soz se Khaalii
> > aavaaz hi aavaaz hai, paiGhaam naheeN hai!
> >
> > 8. yeh shoKhi-e-taHreer falak se naheeN utrii
> > yeh mashq-e-suKhan hai, ko’i ilhaam naheeN hai
> >
> > aur ab maqt'a arz hai:
> >
> > 9. yeh Qais-e-balaa-nosh bhi kyaa cheez hai, yaaro!
> > bad-qaul hai, bad-fe’l hai --- bad-naam naheeN hai!!!
> >
> > ----------------
> >
> > du'aa-go, Raj Kumar
> >
------------------
> muhtaram RK sb, aadaab arz hai!
>
> jis Ghazal meN jaam, shaam, naam, kaam aur aaraam ho, vuh saadhaaran kaise ho saktii hai! :)

***saadhaaran is liye, Irfan sahib, k is Ghazal meN kul nau ash'aar haiN. asl Ghazal to voh hoti hai jis meN kam-az-kam paaNch darjan ash'aar to hoN naa! :-)***

> hameshaa kii tarah aap kii Ghazal dilkash aur pur.lutf hai. daad qubuul farmaaiye!

***Ghazal ki pazeeraa'ii ke liye mamnuun huuN, sahib, aur daad ke liye shukr-guzaar!

niyaaz-kesh, Raj Kumar***

On Saturday, June 26, 2021 at 9:54:57 AM UTC-7, B.G. M. wrote:
> On Sunday, June 20, 2021 at 10:26:46 PM UTC-4, Raj Kumar wrote:
> > yaaraan-e-maHfil:
> >
> > "kyaa baat hai k saaGhar-o-meenaa udaas haiN?
> > HaalaaN-k aaj 'Qais' bhii aaye huye to haiN"!
> >
> > maHfil ka sukuut toRne ke liye, aek saadhaaran si Ghazal pesh-e-Khidmat hai ---gar qubuul uftad!
> >
> > Hasb-e-ma'amuul, aap sabhii dostoN ki aaraa ka intezaar rahe ga.
> >
> > ---------------
> >
> > matl'a arz hai:
> >
> > 1. maanaa k tiraa faiz abhii aam naheeN hai
> > kyaa ‘Qais’ ki Khaatir bhi ko’ii jaam naheeN hai?
> >
> > 2. merii yeh shikaayat k mujhe Taal rahe haiN
> > un kaa yeh bahaana k abhii ‘shaam’ naheeN hai!
> >
> > 3. chhiRte hi Ghazal uRne lagaa raNg kisii kaa
> > HaalaaN-k kaheeN par bhi ko’ii naam naheeN hai
> >
> > 4. din bhar tiri yaadeN haiN to shab bhar tire sapne
> > deevaane ko ab aur ko’ii kaam naheeN hai!
> >
> > 5. voh dil hi naheeN jis meN tirii yaad naheeN hai
> > voh lab hi naheeN jis pe tiraa naam naheeN hai
> >
> > 6. apnoN se shikaayat hai na GhairoN se gilaa hai
> > taqdeer hi aisii hai k aaraam naheeN hai
> >
> > 7. dil saaz-e-tamanna hai magar soz se Khaalii
> > aavaaz hi aavaaz hai, paiGhaam naheeN hai!
> >
> > 8. yeh shoKhi-e-taHreer falak se naheeN utrii
> > yeh mashq-e-suKhan hai, ko’i ilhaam naheeN hai
> >
> > aur ab maqt'a arz hai:
> >
> > 9. yeh Qais-e-balaa-nosh bhi kyaa cheez hai, yaaro!
> > bad-qaul hai, bad-fe’l hai --- bad-naam naheeN hai!!!
> >
> > ----------------
> >
> > du'aa-go, Raj Kumar

-----------------

> Waa..h! Qais Saahab, kyaa kehne haiN!
> Agar aisi Ghazal ko aap “ saadhaaraN “ kehte haiN to phir aap ki nazar meN “asaadhaaraN” kyaa hogi?

***janaab BG sahib:

Ghazal pasaNd farmaane ke liye aap ka be-Had shukriya!
maiN ne is Ghazal ko saadhaaran is liye kahaa tha k yeh baGhair kisi mehnat-mashaqqat ke ho ga'ii thi. ab do-baarah dekhtaa huuN to itni saadhaaran nahiiN lagti jitni k pahle-pahal lagi thi.***
> Bahot Khuub Ghazal kahii hai, janaab!
> PaRh kar dil Khush ho gayaa.

***aap ka yeh ta'assur jaan kar mera jii bhi Khush ho gayaa hai.***

> Mandarjah zel ash’aar ziyadah achChhe lagay.

> 4. din bhar tiri yaadeN haiN to shab bhar tire sapne
> deevaane ko ab aur ko’ii kaam naheeN hai! 👍👍👍

***sitaa'ish ke liye mamnuun huuN, sahib!***

> 7. dil saaz-e-tamanna hai magar soz se Khaalii
> aavaaz hi aavaaz hai, paiGhaam naheeN hai! ——kyaa baat hai!

***Thanks again!***

> 8. yeh shoKhi-e-taHreer falak se naheeN utrii
> yeh mashq-e-suKhan hai, ko’i ilhaam naheeN hai!🤔😉

***aap ka yeh izhaar-e-taHauur bhi aek taraH se ta'areef hi to hai ---------- hai naa?*** :-)

> 9. yeh Qais-e-balaa-nosh bhi kyaa cheez hai, yaaro!
> bad-qaul hai, bad-fe’l hai --- bad-naam naheeN hai!!!
> Bahot achChhaa maqtaa’’!

***shukriya!***

> ( agar pehla misra’ yuuN kaheN to… ?
>
> “ yeh Qais-e-balaa-nosh bhi kuChh kam nahiiN, yaaro!”

***aap ki tajveez bhi achchhi hai, maiN is par mazeed Ghaur karuuN ga.***
> daad qubuul ho, ustaad ji!

***aap ki daad sir-aaNKhoN par hai, BG sahib.

niyaaz-maNd, Raj Kumar***

On Sunday, June 20, 2021 at 9:26:46 PM UTC-5, Raj Kumar wrote:
> yaaraan-e-maHfil:
>
> "kyaa baat hai k saaGhar-o-meenaa udaas haiN?
> HaalaaN-k aaj 'Qais' bhii aaye huye to haiN"!

*ai husn-e-laalaa-faam, zaraa aaNkh to milaa
Khaalii paRe haiN jaam, zaraa aaNkh to milaa :)

RK sahib,

Hasb-e-va'ada maiN haazir huuN, aur baa'is-e-taaKhiir bahut hasiin hai.
aap kii is ghazal ko paRhte paRhte mere zehn meiN bahut se asha'ar aane lage, to sochaa k kuchh asha'ar darj kar duuN, bhalaa is se baRh kar aur kyaa daad ho gii? :)
phir masa'ala yeh huaa, kyuN k beshtar asha'ar meri yaadaasht meN se haiN, aur aaj kal aap vazn-o-beHr ko le kar mere saath bahut 'strict' haiN, to maiN 'spontaneous' asha'ar post karte hue zaraa Darne lagii huuN, har she'r ko type karne ke ba'ad 'double check' kartii huuN. :)

So here I am , in the best possible manner I could compliment your ghazal. The asha'ar I am quoting in response speak for themselves about the effect your ghazal had on me. It took me from Jigar, Saaghar, Shikeb, Faraz, Qateel, Nasir Kazmi and then some, all the way to Meer! And a very special she'r I recalled along the way is by your own brother Parvez sahib. :-)

What a beautiful poetic journey, thanks for leading the way. :-)

The fun begins:

> maHfil ka sukuut toRne ke liye, aek saadhaaran si Ghazal pesh-e-Khidmat hai ---gar qubuul uftad!

*abhii to silsila hai sha’iroN kii be_navaaii kaa
suraahi aaye gi Khum aaye gaa tab jaam aaye gaa :-)

> Hasb-e-ma'amuul, aap sabhii dostoN ki aaraa ka intezaar rahe ga.
>
> matl'a arz hai:
>
> 1. maanaa k tiraa faiz abhii aam naheeN hai
> kyaa ‘Qais’ ki Khaatir bhi ko’ii jaam naheeN hai?

*kahaaN kaa jaam jab yaaN zauq-e-mastii
nigaahoN se pilaayaa jaa rahaa hai! :-)

> 2. merii yeh shikaayat k mujhe Taal rahe haiN
> un kaa yeh bahaana k abhii ‘shaam’ naheeN hai!

*tum aa gaye ho to kyuN intizaar-e-shaam kareN
kaho to kyuN na abhii se kuchh ehtimaam kareN? :)

> 3. chhiRte hi Ghazal uRne lagaa raNg kisii kaa
> HaalaaN-k kaheeN par bhi ko’ii naam naheeN hai

*maiN tera naam na luuN, phir bhi log pehchaaneN
k aap apna ta’arruf havaa bahaar ki hai :-)

> 4. din bhar tiri yaadeN haiN to shab bhar tire sapne
> deevaane ko ab aur ko’ii kaam naheeN hai!

*un ka zikr, un kii tamanna, un ki yaad
vaqt kitnaa qiimtii hai aaj kal!
> 5. voh dil hi naheeN jis meN tirii yaad naheeN hai
> voh lab hi naheeN jis pe tiraa naam naheeN hai

*voh dil hi kyaa tire milne ki jo dua’ na kare
maiN tujh ko bhuul ke zindah rahuN, Khudaa na kare!

> 6. apnoN se shikaayat hai na GhairoN se gilaa hai
> taqdeer hi aisii hai k aaraam naheeN hai

*achchhii nahiiN ye Khaamushii, shikvaa karo gilaa karo
yuuN bhii na kar sako to phir ghar meN Khudaa Khudaa karo :-))

> 7. dil saaz-e-tamanna hai magar soz se Khaalii
> aavaaz hi aavaaz hai, paiGhaam naheeN hai!

*dil meN ik dard nihaaN ho to Ghazal hotii hai
sail-e-jazbaat ravaaN ho to Ghazal hotii hai :-)))

> 8. yeh shoKhi-e-taHreer falak se naheeN utrii
> yeh mashq-e-suKhan hai, ko’i ilhaam naheeN hai

*mashq-e-suKhan meN dil bhi hamesha se hai shariik
lekin hai is meN kaam ziyaada dimaagh kaa! :)

> aur ab maqt'a arz hai:
>
> 9. yeh Qais-e-balaa-nosh bhi kyaa cheez hai, yaaro!
> bad-qaul hai, bad-fe’l hai --- bad-naam naheeN hai!!!

*naNg-o-naamuus se ab guzro javaanoN ki tarah
par fishaanii karo aur saaqi se ibraam karo

*saaya-e-gul meN lab-e-juu pe gulaabi rakhkho
haath meN jaam ko lo, aap ko badnaam karo :-))

> du'aa-go, Raj Kumar

And to conclude:

*mire saaqiaa, mire saaqiaa, tujhe marhabaa, tujhe marhabaa
tu pilaaye jaa, tuu pilaaye jaa isi chashm-e-jaam-ba-jaam se! :-)))

Thank you,

______Zoya

On Monday, June 28, 2021 at 12:25:11 PM UTC-7, Zoya wrote:
> On Sunday, June 20, 2021 at 9:26:46 PM UTC-5, Raj Kumar wrote:
> > yaaraan-e-maHfil:
> >
> > "kyaa baat hai k saaGhar-o-meenaa udaas haiN?
> > HaalaaN-k aaj 'Qais' bhii aaye huye to haiN"!

> *ai husn-e-laalaa-faam, zaraa aaNkh to milaa
> Khaalii paRe haiN jaam, zaraa aaNkh to milaa :)
>
> RK sahib,
>
> Hasb-e-va'ada maiN haazir huuN, aur baa'is-e-taaKhiir bahut hasiin hai.

> aap kii is ghazal ko paRhte paRhte mere zehn meiN bahut se asha'ar aane lage, to sochaa k kuchh asha'ar darj kar duuN, bhalaa is se baRh kar aur kyaa daad ho gii? :)
> phir masa'ala yeh huaa, kyuN k beshtar asha'ar meri yaadaasht meN se haiN, aur aaj kal aap vazn-o-beHr ko le kar mere saath bahut 'strict' haiN, to maiN 'spontaneous' asha'ar post karte hue zaraa Darne lagii huuN, har she'r ko type karne ke ba'ad 'double check' kartii huuN. :)

***ZS, lagta hai k aap ko meri Teeka-Tipnii kuchhh naagvaar si lagne lagi hai. agar yeh baat hai to aap be-shak "judii" ko "jaddii" kahaa kareN, mujhe ko'ii shikaayat nahiiN hogii. :-)

vaise, apne likkhe ko 'double-check' karna to bahut achchhi baat hai --- kaash-ke har shaKhs aisa kiyaa kare. ba-har-Haal, aap ko mere kahe-sune ka itna faa'ida to hu'aa.

is zimn meN, maiN do-aek roz meN aek dilchasp qissa ALUP par chaspaaN karuuN ga jis ka unvaan hoga --- "aek mumtaz fan-kaar ka zauq-e-shaa'rii". I think you'll love it --- perhaps not.***
> So here I am , in the best possible manner I could compliment your ghazal.. The asha'ar I am quoting in response speak for themselves about the effect your ghazal had on me. It took me from Jigar, Saaghar, Shikeb, Faraz, Qateel, Nasir Kazmi and then some, all the way to Meer! And a very special she'r I recalled along the way is by your own brother Parvez sahib. :-)

***waah, waah, kisi ke kalaam par daad dene ka yeh aNdaaz to achhuuta niklaa. aisa karne meN sirf suujh-buujh hi nahiiN bal-k meHnat bhi darkaar hai. aap ki is daad-dehi ka shukriya maiN abhi se adaa kiye deta huuN.***

> What a beautiful poetic journey, thanks for leading the way. :-)

*** Me leading the way? jab-k vaaqe'a yeh hai k

mirii taqleed kyuuN kartaa hai ko'ii?
maiN khud hi raah se bhaTkaa hu'aa huuN!
[Qais, fil-badii']***

> The fun begins:

> > maHfil ka sukuut toRne ke liye, aek saadhaaran si Ghazal pesh-e-Khidmat hai ---gar qubuul uftad!

> *abhii to silsila hai shaa’iroN kii be_navaaii kaa
> suraahi aaye gi Khum aaye gaa tab jaam aaye gaa :-)

***yeh 'be-navaa'ii' kahiiN 'tashna-kaamii' ki vajah se to nahiiN? :-)***

> >
> > 1. maanaa k tiraa faiz abhii aam naheeN hai
> > kyaa ‘Qais’ ki Khaatir bhi ko’ii jaam naheeN hai?

> *kahaaN kaa jaam jab yaaN zauq-e-mastii
> nigaahoN se pilaayaa jaa rahaa hai! :-)

***goyaa,
chashm-e-saaqii, mujhe maiKhaane se kuchh kaam nahiiN
maiN jo aataa huuN to bas tere liye aataa huuN [Qais]***

> > 2. merii yeh shikaayat k mujhe Taal rahe haiN
> > un kaa yeh bahaana k abhii ‘shaam’ naheeN hai!

> *tum aa gaye ho to kyuN intizaar-e-shaam kareN
> kaho to kyuuN na abhii se kuchh ehtimaam kareN? :)

***yeh hu'aa naa "my kind of she'r"! ise inaayat karne ke liye aap ka bahut bahut shukriya!***

> > 3. chhiRte hi Ghazal uRne lagaa raNg kisii kaa
> > HaalaaN-k kaheeN par bhi ko’ii naam naheeN hai

> *maiN tera naam na luuN, phir bhi log pehchaaneN
> k aap apna ta’arruf havaa bahaar ki hai :-)

***is she'r ka pahla misr'a to Khuub hai magar duusra kuchh phiika sa hai!***

> > 4. din bhar tiri yaadeN haiN to shab bhar tire sapne
> > deevaane ko ab aur ko’ii kaam naheeN hai!

> *un ka zikr, un kii tamanna, un ki yaad
> vaqt kitnaa qiimtii hai aaj kal!

***goyaa,
dil meN un kaa tasavvur-e-seemeeN
kitne sarmaaya-daar haiN ham log! [Parvez]***

> > 5. voh dil hi naheeN jis meN tirii yaad naheeN hai
> > voh lab hi naheeN jis pe tiraa naam naheeN hai

> *voh dil hi kyaa tire milne ki jo du'aa na kare
> maiN tujh ko bhuul ke zindah rahuN, Khudaa na kare!

***Bahut Khuub!***

> > 6. apnoN se shikaayat hai na GhairoN se gilaa hai
> > taqdeer hi aisii hai k aaraam naheeN hai

> *achchhii nahiiN ye Khaamushii, shikvaa karo gilaa karo
> yuuN bhii na kar sako to phir ghar meN Khudaa Khudaa karo :-))

***On the other hand,
naa-Khudaa ko Khudaa kahaa hai to phir
Duub jaa'o, Khudaa Khudaa na karo!***

> > 7. dil saaz-e-tamanna hai magar soz se Khaalii
> > aavaaz hi aavaaz hai, paiGhaam naheeN hai!

> *dil meN ik dard nihaaN ho to Ghazal hotii hai
> sail-e-jazbaat ravaaN ho to Ghazal hotii hai :-)))

***ho na ho, this one is by Parvez!***

> > 8. yeh shoKhi-e-taHreer falak se naheeN utrii
> > yeh mashq-e-suKhan hai, ko’i ilhaam naheeN hai

> *mashq-e-suKhan meN dil bhi hamesha se hai shariik
> lekin hai is meN kaam ziyaada dimaagh kaa! :)

***is zimn meN, yeh she'r bhi dekhiye:

ilm-o-fan, mashq-e-suKhan aur aagahii kaafii nahiiN
she'r kahne ke liye kuchh aur bhii darkaar hai! [Qais] ***

> > aur ab maqt'a arz hai:
> >
> > 9. yeh Qais-e-balaa-nosh bhi kyaa cheez hai, yaaro!
> > bad-qaul hai, bad-fe’l hai --- bad-naam naheeN hai!!!

> *naNg-o-naamuus se ab guzro javaanoN ki tarah
> par fishaanii karo aur saaqi se ibraam karo

***yeh she'r kuchh samajh meN nahiiN aa rahaa, especially "ibraam"!***

> *saaya-e-gul meN lab-e-juu pe gulaabi rakhkho
> haath meN jaam ko lo, aap ko badnaam karo :-))

*** 'aap ko' se muraad hai 'apne aap ko' ------ right? aisi zabaan bahut kam barti jaati hai. I wonder who the poet is.

> And to conclude:
>
> *mire saaqiaa, mire saaqiaa, tujhe marhabaa, tujhe marhabaa
> tu pilaaye jaa, tu pilaaye jaa, isii chashm-e-jaam-ba-jaam se! :-)))

***she'r achchha hai magar "chashm-e-jaam-ba-jaam" kuchh ajeeb si tarkeeb hai. is ka matlab Ghaaliban yeh hogaa: "voh aaNkh jo jaam par jaam luNDhaati jaaye". magar aisi aaNkh ko "chashm-e-jaam-ba-jaam" kahnaa kahaaN tak ravaa hai? Once again, who is the poet?

aaKhir meN, ZS, bahut bahut shukriya aap ka k aap ne meri is Ghazal par aek aisi "ash'aar-puurvak" daad dii hai k Khaaksaar ko umr bhar yaad rahe gi.

aap ka shubh-chintak,
Raj uncle

On Wednesday, June 30, 2021 at 1:04:14 PM UTC-5, Raj Kumar wrote:

> ***ZS, lagta hai k aap ko meri Teeka-Tipnii kuchhh naagvaar si lagne lagi hai. agar yeh baat hai to aap be-shak "judii" ko "jaddii" kahaa kareN, mujhe ko'ii shikaayat nahiiN hogii. :-)

RK sahib,

Honestly, mujhe aap kii Tiika-Tipnii bilkul naagvaar nahiiN guazarti. Over the years, I have learned so much from your feedback, I always appreciate it. And I kind of like 'judii', I am staying with it, even though 'jaddi' is still tempting, it conveys an attitude of sorts! :-)

> vaise, apne likkhe ko 'double-check' karna to bahut achchhi baat hai --- kaash-ke har shaKhs aisa kiyaa kare. ba-har-Haal, aap ko mere kahe-sune ka itna faa'ida to hu'aa.

I agree, as an educator I have also always preached 'double checking' the answers, and I myself try to follow this advice. Your pointers over the years have contributed tremendously to my growth as a student of Urdu poetry and language. And as I say often, my life has been so much richer for having you as a mentor. Thank you.

> is zimn meN, maiN do-aek roz meN aek dilchasp qissa ALUP par chaspaaN karuuN ga jis ka unvaan hoga --- "aek mumtaz fan-kaar ka zauq-e-shaa'rii". I think you'll love it --- perhaps not.***

What an exciting title! I will wait for this post eagerly and am pretty sure I will love it. Now when you add "perhaps not", that makes it more intriguing. :)

> mirii taqleed kyuuN kartaa hai ko'ii?
> maiN khud hi raah se bhaTkaa hu'aa huuN!
> [Qais, fil-badii']***

> chashm-e-saaqii, mujhe maiKhaane se kuchh kaam nahiiN
> maiN jo aataa huuN to bas tere liye aataa huuN [Qais]***

bahut Khuub! Your ability to write such spontaneous asha'ar is simply amazing.

> > *tum aa gaye ho to kyuN intizaar-e-shaam kareN
> > kaho to kyuuN na abhii se kuchh ehtimaam kareN? :)
>
> ***yeh hu'aa naa "my kind of she'r"! ise inaayat karne ke liye aap ka bahut bahut shukriya!***

You are most welcome. This is by my favorite poet, Nasir Kazmi. :)

> > *maiN tera naam na luuN, phir bhi log pehchaaneN
> > k aap apna ta’arruf havaa bahaar ki hai :-)

> ***is she'r ka pahla misr'a to Khuub hai magar duusra kuchh phiika sa hai!***

I've always liked this one, by Faraz. But now you got me thinking too, maybe the first misra' sets up really high expectations?
Raj uncle, now I am really curious, how would you write the second misra' here?

> dil meN un kaa tasavvur-e-seemeeN
> kitne sarmaaya-daar haiN ham log! [Parvez]***

"tasavvur-e-seemeeN" leading to "sarmaaya-daar", just brilliant. I need to read more of your brother's poetry, the little that I have read is pretty amazing.

> > *dil meN ik dard nihaaN ho to Ghazal hotii hai
> > sail-e-jazbaat ravaaN ho to Ghazal hotii hai :-)))

> ***ho na ho, this one is by Parvez!***

Yup, it sure is! :))

> ***is zimn meN, yeh she'r bhi dekhiye:
> ilm-o-fan, mashq-e-suKhan aur aagahii kaafii nahiiN
> she'r kahne ke liye kuchh aur bhii darkaar hai! [Qais] ***

vaah! baRe miyaN to baRe miyaN, chhoTe miyaN bhi subHaan Allah haiN. :-))

> > *naNg-o-naamuus se ab guzro javaanoN ki tarah
> > par fishaanii karo aur saaqi se ibraam karo

> ***yeh she'r kuchh samajh meN nahiiN aa rahaa, especially "ibraam"!***

> > *saaya-e-gul meN lab-e-juu pe gulaabi rakhkho
> > haath meN jaam ko lo, aap ko badnaam karo :-))

> *** 'aap ko' se muraad hai 'apne aap ko' ------ right? aisi zabaan bahut kam barti jaati hai. I wonder who the poet is.

Raj uncle, these two are by none other than Meer Taqi Meer. I guess that explains the usage of 'aap ko' as 'apne aap ko' here.
I have my own understanding of the first she'r and the sense in which 'ibraam' is being used, but I am not confident enough to paraphrase it.
Now that you know this is Meer, what do you make of #1? I would also really love to see how Irfan sahib or Bekas sahib or other group members interpret this she'r. I do hope some other Alupers will see this post and respond.

> > *mire saaqiaa, mire saaqiaa, tujhe marhabaa, tujhe marhabaa
> > tu pilaaye jaa, tu pilaaye jaa, isii chashm-e-jaam-ba-jaam se! :-)))

> ***she'r achchha hai magar "chashm-e-jaam-ba-jaam" kuchh ajeeb si tarkeeb hai. is ka matlab Ghaaliban yeh hogaa: "voh aaNkh jo jaam par jaam luNDhaati jaaye". magar aisi aaNkh ko "chashm-e-jaam-ba-jaam" kahnaa kahaaN tak ravaa hai? Once again, who is the poet?

This one is by Jigar Muradabadi. The reason this sh'er stayed in my long term memory is the way Jigar has repeated some phrases here. Again, I don't feel qualified enough to comment on how ravaa "chashm-e-jaam-ba-jaam" might be, I found this 'tarkiib' sort of interesting, and accepted it at face value since after all it is a 'Jigar' she'r. This is another one of those discussion points where I would like Irfan sahib to pitch in.

> aaKhir meN, ZS, bahut bahut shukriya aap ka k aap ne meri is Ghazal par aek aisi "ash'aar-puurvak" daad dii hai k Khaaksaar ko umr bhar yaad rahe gi..

> aap ka shubh-chintak,
> Raj uncle

You are most welcome Raj uncle, the pleasure is all mine. And honestly, it was not much work, your ghazal spontaneously brought out even a few latent asha'ar that were tucked away somewhere in my mind. Thank you. :-))

______Zoya

On Wednesday, June 30, 2021 at 10:28:54 PM UTC-5, Zoya wrote:
> On Wednesday, June 30, 2021 at 1:04:14 PM UTC-5, Raj Kumar wrote:

> > > *naNg-o-naamuus se ab guzro javaanoN ki tarah
> > > par fishaanii karo aur saaqi se ibraam karo
>
> > ***yeh she'r kuchh samajh meN nahiiN aa rahaa, especially "ibraam"!***
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Follow up to my own response:

Raj uncle,

After deliberating, I have changed my mind, and have decided to document my interpretation of this she'r by Meer. I am doing so as a self test, just to know how close to or off the mark I might be to the analysis provided by Irfan sahib or you.

Here:

Person X of a certain age, you should deal with the matters of pride and honor as youth does. Spread your wings, feel free and insist that 'saaqi' obliges you. In other words, go after your desires in the unconstrained manner of young people, abandoning restrictions imposed by pride and dignity.

That's my take on it, for whatever it is worth. I feel courageous, and a bit nervous putting this in front of ustaads like you. It is a Meer sh'er after all, and I claim no expertise in such matters.

Your curious and diligent student,
______Zoya

On Thursday, July 1, 2021 at 5:36:58 PM UTC-7, Zoya wrote:
> On Wednesday, June 30, 2021 at 10:28:54 PM UTC-5, Zoya wrote:
> > On Wednesday, June 30, 2021 at 1:04:14 PM UTC-5, Raj Kumar wrote:
>
> > > > *naNg-o-naamuus se ab guzro javaanoN ki tarah
> > > > par fishaanii karo aur saaqi se ibraam karo
> >
> > > ***yeh she'r kuchh samajh meN nahiiN aa rahaa, especially "ibraam"!***
> -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
> Follow up to my own response:
>
> Raj uncle,
>
> After deliberating, I have changed my mind, and have decided to document my interpretation of this she'r by Meer. I am doing so as a self test, just to know how close to or off the mark I might be to the analysis provided by Irfan sahib or you.
>
> Here:
>
> Person X of a certain age, you should deal with the matters of pride and honor as youth does. Spread your wings, feel free and insist that 'saaqi' obliges you. In other words, go after your desires in the unconstrained manner of young people, abandoning restrictions imposed by pride and dignity.
>
> That's my take on it, for whatever it is worth. I feel courageous, and a bit nervous putting this in front of ustaads like you. It is a Meer sh'er after all, and I claim no expertise in such matters.
>
> Your curious and diligent student,
> ______Zoya

***ZS, my problem was that I had no clue what "ibraam" means; even Platts doesn't have this word. After reading your last post, I resorted to Google and discovered that this is an Arabic word meaning something like "taqaazaa".. Now, for me, that brought sense to this she'r and, in effect, I find your explanation right on the dot. Congratulations!

1. B/W, did you already know this word or, like me, had to look it up? :-)

2. Again, B/W, the noun "par-fishaanii" is equivalent to "par-afshaanii", but the two have slightly different weights.
On the corresponding adjective "par-afshaaN", here is an interesting matl'a of a Ghazal by Prof. Abid Ali Abid:

"aaj phir baaGh meN us but ko KharaamaaN dekhaa
raNg ko raqs meN, nak_hat ko par-afshaaN dekhaa".

3. "naNg-o-naamuus" ki tarkeeb par, Khud apna aek maqt'a Haazir hai:

Qais ki zaat daaGh-daar na thii
phir bhi be-naNg-o-naam ho ke rahii! :-)

R.K.***

On Friday, July 2, 2021 at 10:31:12 AM UTC-5, Raj Kumar wrote:

> ***ZS, my problem was that I had no clue what "ibraam" means; even Platts doesn't have this word. After reading your last post, I resorted to Google and discovered that this is an Arabic word meaning something like "taqaazaa". Now, for me, that brought sense to this she'r and, in effect, I find your explanation right on the dot. Congratulations!

Thank you so much RK sahib, your affirmation means a lot to me. :)

> 1. B/W, did you already know this word or, like me, had to look it up? :-)

Honestly, in the context of this she'r, I had sort of guessed the meaning of 'ibraam' to be something like 'zid', to really insist on something. But to be a 100% sure, I actually did look it up before posting my analysis. I used the 'Rekhta' dictionary, which verified it for me.

A couple of days ago, during a phone conversation, I discussed this word with another master of Urdu language and poetry. He was totally familiar with it, and immediately quoted a Ghalib she'r which also uses 'ibraam' as a qaafiaa:

hai qahr gar ab bhii na bane baat k un ko
inkaar nahiiN aur mujhe ibraam bahut hai

What an interesting word. ab aap se guzaarish hai k ise le kar koii she'r likhiye, I can already see you doing so. :-)

> 2. Again, B/W, the noun "par-fishaanii" is equivalent to "par-afshaanii", but the two have slightly different weights.

Thank you, another great tip.

> On the corresponding adjective "par-afshaaN", here is an interesting matl'a of a Ghazal by Prof. Abid Ali Abid:
>
> "aaj phir baaGh meN us but ko KharaamaaN dekhaa
> raNg ko raqs meN, nak_hat ko par-afshaaN dekhaa".

Beautiful.

'par-afshaaN' to nahiiN, magar 'raNg-afshaaN' par merii sab se pasandiidah nazmoN meN se yeh dekhiye, Naresh Kumar Shad keh rahe haiN:

sochte sochte phir mujh ko Khayaal aata hai
voh mire raNj-o masa'ib ka mudaava to na thii
raNg-afshaaN thi mire dil ki KhalaayoN me magar
ek aurat thi, ilaaj-e-gham-e-duniya to na thii!

What a brilliant thought, isn't it? I have always loved this particular nazm.

> 3. "naNg-o-naamuus" ki tarkeeb par, Khud apna aek maqt'a Haazir hai:

> Qais ki zaat daaGh-daar na thii
> phir bhi be-naNg-o-naam ho ke rahii! :-)

> R.K.***

bahut Khuub. aur Qais sahib kaa maqta' to aksar Khuub hii hotaa hai.

vaise aap ne dekhaa RK sahib k aap kii ek 'saadhaaran' sii ghazal se kya kya zaaviye nikal rahe haiN. :-)

________Zoya

On Sunday, July 4, 2021 at 3:45:34 PM UTC-7, Zoya wrote:
> On Friday, July 2, 2021 at 10:31:12 AM UTC-5, Raj Kumar wrote:
>
> > ***ZS, my problem was that I had no clue what "ibraam" means; even Platts doesn't have this word. After reading your last post, I resorted to Google and discovered that this is an Arabic word meaning something like "taqaazaa". Now, for me, that brought sense to this she'r and, in effect, I find your explanation right on the dot. Congratulations!
> Thank you so much RK sahib, your affirmation means a lot to me. :)

> > 1. B/W, did you already know this word or, like me, had to look it up? :-)

> Honestly, in the context of this she'r, I had sort of guessed the meaning of 'ibraam' to be something like 'zid', to really insist on something. But to be a 100% sure, I actually did look it up before posting my analysis. I used the 'Rekhta' dictionary, which verified it for me.
>
> A couple of days ago, during a phone conversation, I discussed this word with another master of Urdu language and poetry. He was totally familiar with it, and immediately quoted a Ghalib she'r which also uses 'ibraam' as a qaafiaa:
>
> hai qahr gar ab bhii na bane baat k un ko
> inkaar nahiiN aur mujhe ibraam bahut hai
>
> What an interesting word. ab aap se guzaarish hai k ise le kar koii she'r likhiye, I can already see you doing so. :-)

***ZS, aap ki is farmaa'ish par yak-laKht Khayaal aayaa k lafz "ibraam" to meri is saadhaaran si Ghazal ka qaafiya ho sakta hai; goyaa, agar Ghaalib ko "ibraam bahut hai" to mujhe "ibraam nahiiN hai". :-)

to leejiye aek saadhaaran sa she'r Haazir hai:

"bosa(h) jo nahiiN dete to mat deejiye, saaHib"
mujh mast-e-mai-e-naab ko ibraam nahiiN hai! :-)***
> vaise aap ne dekhaa RK sahib k aap kii ek 'saadhaaran' sii ghazal se kya kya zaaviye nikal rahe haiN. :-)

***baat aap ki saHiiH hai, ZS, magar Haalia zaaviye to is Ghazal ko asaadhaaran banaa Daala hai! :-)

R.K.***

On Monday, July 5, 2021 at 2:17:09 PM UTC-7, Raj Kumar wrote:
> On Sunday, July 4, 2021 at 3:45:34 PM UTC-7, Zoya wrote:
> > On Friday, July 2, 2021 at 10:31:12 AM UTC-5, Raj Kumar wrote:
> >
> > > ***ZS, my problem was that I had no clue what "ibraam" means; even Platts doesn't have this word. After reading your last post, I resorted to Google and discovered that this is an Arabic word meaning something like "taqaazaa". Now, for me, that brought sense to this she'r and, in effect, I find your explanation right on the dot. Congratulations!
> > Thank you so much RK sahib, your affirmation means a lot to me. :)
>
> > > 1. B/W, did you already know this word or, like me, had to look it up? :-)
>
> > Honestly, in the context of this she'r, I had sort of guessed the meaning of 'ibraam' to be something like 'zid', to really insist on something. But to be a 100% sure, I actually did look it up before posting my analysis. I used the 'Rekhta' dictionary, which verified it for me.
> >
> > A couple of days ago, during a phone conversation, I discussed this word with another master of Urdu language and poetry. He was totally familiar with it, and immediately quoted a Ghalib she'r which also uses 'ibraam' as a qaafiaa:
> >
> > hai qahr gar ab bhii na bane baat k un ko
> > inkaar nahiiN aur mujhe ibraam bahut hai
> >
> > What an interesting word. ab aap se guzaarish hai k ise le kar koii she'r likhiye, I can already see you doing so. :-)
> ***ZS, aap ki is farmaa'ish par yak-laKht Khayaal aayaa k lafz "ibraam" to meri is saadhaaran si Ghazal ka qaafiya ho sakta hai; goyaa, agar Ghaalib ko "ibraam bahut hai" to mujhe "ibraam nahiiN hai". :-)
>
> to leejiye aek saadhaaran sa she'r Haazir hai:
>
> "bosa(h) jo nahiiN dete to mat deejiye, saaHib"
> mujh mast-e-mai-e-naab ko ibraam nahiiN hai! :-)***
> > vaise aap ne dekhaa RK sahib k aap kii ek 'saadhaaran' sii ghazal se kya kya zaaviye nikal rahe haiN. :-)
> ***baat aap ki saHiiH hai, ZS, magar Haalia zaaviye ne to is Ghazal ko asaadhaaran banaa Daala hai! :-)
>
> R.K.***

--------------

###ZS, aap agar us she'r ko naa-munaasib samjheN to use yuuN badal sakte haiN:

milne jo nahiiN aate to mat aa'iye, saaHib,
mujh mast-e-mai-e-naab ko ibraam nahiiN hai!

R.K.###

On Monday, July 5, 2021 at 10:25:55 PM UTC-5, Raj Kumar wrote:
> On Monday, July 5, 2021 at 2:17:09 PM UTC-7, Raj Kumar wrote:
>
> ###ZS, aap agar us she'r ko naa-munaasib samjheN to use yuuN badal sakte haiN:
>
> milne jo nahiiN aate to mat aa'iye, saaHib,
> mujh mast-e-mai-e-naab ko ibraam nahiiN hai!
> R.K.###

kya kehne RK sahib, duusraa misre kaa to javaab nahiiN. aur meri nazar meN to pehle misre kii donoN suurateN Khuub haiN, bas ek meN zaraa classical rang ziyaada hai. aap jo chaaheN rakh liijiye. But maybe the modified version will be a better fit with the other asha'ar in your ghazal?

Thank you so much for catering to my request so promptly, no wonder I feel spoiled. :-)

______Zoya