You can sift through the racc list archive
https://lists.eyrie.org/pipermail/racc/
or you can try google groups racc for this issue of JONG.

As we get closer and closer to 'Just Another Multi-Writer Cascade That Will
Probably Never Have an Ending' I thought that before started posting those
issues -- shouldn't I post 'JONG #69' written by me (Arthur Spitzer) so that
you dear reader can properly understand where the character Non-Judgmental
Agnostic (daughter of Self-Righteous Preacher) came from although now thinking
about it a bit I guess calling her the daughter of Self-Righteous Preacher
is probably all you really need to know about her. And will you understand
any of this issue of JONG if you haven't read like the five or six issues
before this one? Probably not... oh well... guess you'll just have to wait
till next week for the actual start of 'Just Another Multi-Writer Cascade That
Will Probably Never Have an Ending'

But for now...

_
| | Classic
| | =
| | ____ ____ _ ____ ___
| |__ | [] | | [] | | | | [] | | _ \

|____| \__] \__ | |_| \__/ |_|\_\
||
|_| OF NET.HEROES

ADVENTURES #234

=====================
JONG #69
=====================

From: Arthur Spitzer arspitzer at earthlink.net
Date: Sun Dec 22 13:14:43 PST 2013

20 years ago I posted my first LNH story. JONG #1.

And now 20 years later...

<<Warning: Horrible, horrible, horrible stuff that no Man, Woman, or
Child should ever be exposed to lies beneath these words. You've been
warned!>>

"This is an ELSEWHIRL

(which may never happen, but okay.. most definitely won't)

about something that resembled a man who came from the gutter and did
whatever he felt like.

"It tells of his last one night stand, when the not so great battles
were over and the great deus ex machinas long since performed;
of how his enemies kind of forgot about him and went on with their lives
and of that final war in the cholesterol entrenched fastfood wastes
beneath Moono's Taco Liquor Rama; of the women he loved and the
illegitimate children he left them; of how he broke his most sacred oath
(and then tried to superglue it together again), and how finally all the
things he had were taken from him save one (but it's not like he hadn't
stolen all that stuff in the first place).

"It ends with the fourth wall biting the dust.

(or possibly none of the above will actually happen and the writer will
write whatever he feels like.)

"It begins in the loud vicious urban decay, one hellish afternoon in
the miserable dystopian future. In this damned city, people still
sometimes glance down uneasily at the sidewalks, glimpsing a distant
speck in the gutter...but no; it's only a mime, only a politician! The
Slobbering Grue! went MIA ten years ago... Thank God!

"This is an ELSEWHIRL...

"Aren't they all?"
(Well except Dvandom Force and.. umm nevermind)

with deepest Apologies to Alan Moore...

LAST ISSUE!!!!!

\-__ ___Guest Starring___-//
/ // ___________
/ // / // /\ /// /---\\ ///// | |
/ // / / // / \/// //_<-\ \#69\ |Approved |
\___// /___// /_/\_// \____// \\\\\ |by no one|
A whole lot of characters! |Actually |
-----------

(The comic approved by one out of nine dentists. That the dentist was
later found brain dead in an alley way is purely coincidental.)

Editor's Note: Editor's Note Noted.

** LAST ISSUE!!! **

The Future! --
Looniverse Classic! --
Net.ropolis, Loonited States! --
The Lawn of the Moono's Liquor World LNHHQ! --

"...And Stay Out!!!!" said a grizzled looking
You're-Not-Hitting-Me-Hard-Enough Lad. An eye patch dangled over his
left eye as he kicked a raggedy homeless man out of the LNH's Headquarters.

"No! No! Please! You've got to listen to me!" begged the homeless
looking man. Underneath the shabby coat he was wearing there seemed to
be something that looked a bit like a superhero costume. A faded black
and blue costume with a boot imprint on it. "I'm LNH! But I'm from
another alternate Looniverse!! I was a leader for this LNH (well at
least until I got kicked out of the leadership position)! But
regardless, I came here to warn you! Warn this Looniverse!! It's
coming!! It laid waste to my entire Looniverse! Like it laid waste to
thousands of other Looniverses! And now it's coming here!! You've got
to believe me!! You've gotta!!!!"

Kid Kicked Out looked at the doors of the LNHHQ slamming shut. No one
was listening to him. "Please! He's Coming...!!!!"

Kid Kicked Out looked up towards the sky. "He's coming."

** LAST ISSUE!!! **

Looniverse Y! --
A Beach! --

Two girls were bathing their very tan bodies in the sun. In Bikinis!
On beach blankets!

One by the name of Salsa Jr. eyed the girl next to her. "Pardon me,
would you have any -- 'No Duh! Poupon Flavored Soda'?"

The girl whose name was Cherry Jr. said with a sniff of her nose, "But
of course!" as she handed a glass bottle on a silver tray to the girl
next to her.

Hanging next to the two of them on a pole was a large poster that had a
very well dressed short greenish creature on it. He was sporting a
monocle, a top hat, and a tuxedo. On top were the words, 'Being Classy
is Not a Crime.'

And on the bottom were the words, 'A Reminder From -- The Sophisticated
Grue!'

** LAST ISSUE!!! **

"Who Cares About Tomorrow's Drool...?"

** LAST ISSUE!!! **

Welcome to the future.

They say that the meek will inherit the Earth. Nope. It's going to be
the drooling idiots. Trust me on this one.

God. My name is Cockroach Las Vegas. I'm a (hahah) Journalist. And
the last bastard in the whole goddamn world. Oh, don't worry, there are
still plenty of shitheads, motherfuckers, and other pathetic wastes of
lives clogging the drain of civilization. But no more bastards. There
was some virus (created by brilliant geniuses no doubt) that killed
every single bastard in the world. Every one of them except for me. We
used to have a club. Called it the NTB. What did it stand for?
Neanderthal Thuggish Ballerinas -- something like that. Can't Exactly
Remember. Doesn't matter. It's all gone. They're all gone.

And I'm here. I'm writing some stupid article that my brain dead nazi
editor inseminated into me. It's about some stupid spandexer that used
to fight crime -- called the Slobbering Groin -- and I'm wondering why
I'm doing this. I can't do this anymore.

Fuck this. I'm not going to do this. I think I'll just blow my brains
away instead.

** LAST ISSUE!!! **

Moono's Liquor World Noos Network --

"...And that's the suicide note renowned sleazy tabloid journalist
Cockroach Las Vegas left in his hotel room. He left behind no family or
friends. And this latest Facetoob poll shows that 69% of people are
glad that he's finally dead. The other 69% couldn't care one way or the
other.

"And speaking of things people don't care about, President
Self-Righteous Preacher signed into Law a Bill that will make it illegal
to expose your belly button on National TV. Hmm. Guess I better expose
mine now while I still can..."

** LAST ISSUE!!! **

Espayola, Net.Mexico! --

"No More Exposed Belly Buttons!!?" screamed a thirty something guy (with
an eye patch) who was covered in green paint and wearing only boxers.
"You see what your father is doing to this country!!" He shot a glance
at the white haired thirty something girl (who also had an eye patch)
sitting next to him on the couch.

"Believe me -- I don't agree with this law. But maybe we should be a
little more understanding of..." The girl's name was Non-Judgmental
Agnostic. And she was President Self-Righteous Preacher's daughter.

"Understanding!!?" The guy's name was Slobbering Grue Jr! son of --
well you know (You do know, right?). "He's trying to turn America into
a Christian Theocracy and you want ME to be understanding?"

"I know. I know," she said rubbing his shoulder with her hand. "He's
doing what he thinks is best. That's all I'm saying."

"Yeah. I know. And I shouldn't take it out on you. We can't help who
are our fathers are. It's just..."

On 2/27/22 3:12 PM, Arthur Spitzer wrote:

> Part of why I never bothered to write it was because I wanted to make it
> the greatest thing ever (which is also why I couldn't finish the
> original Jong #6 that I had plotted way back in '96). There for the
> only way I could ever possibly write this would be instead to try and
> make this the worst issue of Jong ever. And that's what I did.
>
> So this isn't the greatest thing I ever wrote, but it's not the worst
> thing either. I kind of wish this was a lot better, but it is what it is.
>
>

Lol, I know that one. I think a lot of us do. I know the old saying
about how to get good writing you have to just write, but it's still
hard to remember sometimes.

--
Jeanne "The Dark Space Princess Knight" Morningstar

On Monday, February 28, 2022 at 11:04:36 AM UTC-7, Jeanne Morningstar wrote:
> On 2/27/22 3:12 PM, Arthur Spitzer wrote:
>
> > Part of why I never bothered to write it was because I wanted to make it
> > the greatest thing ever (which is also why I couldn't finish the
> > original Jong #6 that I had plotted way back in '96). There for the
> > only way I could ever possibly write this would be instead to try and
> > make this the worst issue of Jong ever. And that's what I did.
> >
> > So this isn't the greatest thing I ever wrote, but it's not the worst
> > thing either. I kind of wish this was a lot better, but it is what it is.
> >
> >
> Lol, I know that one. I think a lot of us do. I know the old saying
> about how to get good writing you have to just write, but it's still
> hard to remember sometimes.
>

Yeah, I think back in the 90s (which is when I first thought about making
JONG #69) my writing mode was kind of think of a good first sentence and
then think of a good second sentence and keep doing that till you reach the
end of your story, which often led to 'I can't think of a good first sentence -- guess I'll
give up!' Now days my method is usually write something anything even if
it seems bad and maybe when it's done perhaps I can polish it up a bit
(or just leave it on my laptop and forget about it)...

Arthur "Writing.." Spitzer