You can sift through the racc list archive
https://lists.eyrie.org/pipermail/racc/
or you can try google groups racc for this issue of JAMWCtwPNHaE.

Drew Nilium gives us 'Just Another Multi-Writer Cascade That Will
Probably Never Have an Ending' chapter 11. And we have a whole lot
of characters from all kinds of LNH imprints and alternate Looniverses
and so on -- but can they fix this whole cascade and somehow end it?
And will Mashup Laq decide to bail on all this and join Teenfactor?
And will something get thrown into a Rift and will that make every
thing better?

Find out in...

_
| | Classic
| | =
| | ____ ____ _ ____ ___
| |__ | [] | | [] | | | | [] | | _ \

|____| \__] \__ | |_| \__/ |_|\_\
||
|_| OF NET.HEROES

ADVENTURES #240

=====================
Just Another Multi-Writer Cascade that will
Probably Never Have an Ending Part Six
=====================

From: Andrew Perron pwerdna at gmail.com
Date: Sat Nov 1 08:59:04 PDT 2014

The moment you've all been waiting for...

JUST ANOTHER MULTI-WRITER CASCADE
THAT WILL PROBABLY NEVER HAVE AN ENDING
ISSUE NUMBA ELEVEN
"Do The Rifty Thing"
by Andrew Perron
========================================================================
The top of the cover is covered by a huge, garish "LNH RETURN!" banner.
Masterplan Lad, Foreshadowing Lad, Mashup Laq and the Saviors of the Net
are standing in a room, looking at a brightly-lit doorway in which
stands a fearful silhouette, holding something that is almost, but not
quite, a spoon...
========================================================================

The corridor outside room 58008 in the dormitories of the LNHQ was
getting crowded.

Masterplan Lad was kneeling in front of the door, trying to open it with
his Plot Device, to no avail. Irony Monger watched, calculating
possibilities on what could be done next to complete the Saviors of the
Net's mission. After MPL had shown up, Penultimate Savior, Kid Remender,
Occultism Lord, and Continuity's Champion had run up behind, followed
shortly by Non-Judgmental Agnostic, Mashup Laq and Pliable Lad, with
Foreshadowing Lad, pushing the bed that Killswitch was laying on,
bringing up the rear.

"Drat," said Masterplan Lad as the doorknob popped and fizzed but failed
to turn. He stood up and turned to the Saviors of the Net. "This is your
fault, you realize. If you hadn't been so quick to go for Plan Ends
Justify The Means, a dangerous child wouldn't be locked up in there with
the most powerful destructive force in the galaxy."

"Actually," said Non-Judgmental Agnostic, "now that the Insanity Gems
have been neutralized, the most powerful destructive force in the galaxy
is Kubrik's Kube."

"Yes, yes, whatever!"

"Nonsense," said the Penultimate Savior, stepping forward. "This
situation couldn't have been foreseen, and there was-- there *is* no
other way--"

"Oh, yes," said Masterplan Lad, rolling his eyes. "This problem is
entirely predictable and has only one possible solution, but *also*
includes variables that could not have been foreseen beforehand."

"Cut the bullshit, man!" Kid Remender sneered, getting up in MPL's face.
"You're not willing to do what it *takes*!"

"Oh, I most certainly am!" said MPL, raising his Plot Device.

"HEY!" There was a flash of light, and everyone turned to look. There,
radiant in the hallway, stood a golden, shining armored figure-- wearing
Mashup Laq's labcoat. At the ends of its arms were big, blocky Mega Man-
style energy blasters. "These are Canon Cannons, created through the
combination of Continuity's Champion and Irony Monger's powers - sorry,
guys. They have the ability to freeze all of you by fixing you totally
in continuity, and I *will* use them unless we sit down and talk this
out like reasonable adults!"

Irony Monger had felt the touch on his hyper-sensing robotic arm, but
had dismissed it as the kind of random motion organics were constantly
making. Fascinating. "Our mission is urgent; I don't think we have
time--"

"We'll waste *more* time fighting each other and working at cross-
purposes!" Mashup Laq was breathing hard behind the golden faceplate. "I
joined the LNH because it was an organization of heroes - of people who
rejected binary choices, who could always find another, better way! If
that's not true anymore, I might as well go see if Teenfactor is
hiring!"

The Saviors looked away in shame, and Masterplan Lad rubbed the back of
his head. "Yes, well. That's, um, that's what I was trying to say."

"Didn't the LNH used to be less intense than this?" whispered
Foreshadowing Lad to Pliable Lad.

"I dunno, my series was always pretty dramatic," whispered PL. "Less
people from the future, though."

Penultimate Savior shook his head. "But... you don't *get* it. In our
timeline, the LNH tried everything, *everything*, and it didn't save
them. And I'd rather lose Earth - lose my home, my parents, and
everything I've ever known - than let this destroy the universe."

"But..." Non-Judgmental Agnostic stepped gingerly into the conversation.
"This isn't your timeline, though. Or it isn't *just* your timeline.
Don't you see? You're one possible outcome of this, and I'm another."

"One possible future..." said Foreshadowing Lad, way in the back. "You
guys..."

"That's right, possible outcomes..." said Masterplan Lad, stroking his
chin. "This is Looniverse-A, the 'main' timeline - of the Classic LNH,
anyway. It's being torn apart by its greatest strengths, the fact that
you can do anything..."

"Guys," said FL, hopping up and down.

"But that's the thing," said Continuity's Champion. "How can we fix such
a problem without cutting off the ability to do anything?"

"GUYS LISTEN!" shouted FL. Everyone turned to look, and he shrank back a
bit. "Uhhh... Oh! I think I remember what I was supposed to tell
everybody!"

For a second, he just stood there. Then Mashup Laq waved their cannons
encouragingly and said, "Go on..."

"Oh! Right. It's about the future! My foreshadowing powers - which
apparently are a thing I have - let me..." He frowned and scratched his
head. "They let me sense that the future is... always... inspired by the
past? Wait, that's dumb, maybe I was thinking of something else..."

"...of *course*!" said Masterplan Lad, smacking himself in the forehead.
"I'm an idiot! *Inspiration*! Chaos Theory all but gave me an
instruction manual!" He started running down the corridor. The others
looked at each other and ran after him, Foreshadowing Lad pushing
Killswitch's bed again.

"You see," he said, "I have it from a reliable source that the only way
to close these rifts is to generate enough inspiration particles to get
the Writers to finish their stories. And what inspires you to finish
*your* story? How about a big, ambitious, fun story that managed to
overcome all obstacles and finish - Beige Midnight!"

"A reasonable hypothesis," said Occultism Lord. "But Beige Midnight has
already been published - shouldn't it be inspiring people already?"

Masterplan Lad waved his hand in a kind of 'ehh' gesture. "Artistic
types get discouraged easily. We need to give them a kick." He stopped
in front of the door to the Plot Device Room. "In here is a chunk of
pure Beige Midnight Story, created as a side-effect of Kid Not Appearing
In Any Retcon Hour Story becoming Kid Not Appearing In Any Beige
Midnight Story back in 58.5. If I'm right, when we drop it into a rift,
it'll disrupt it and release enough inspiration to get *something*
posted."

"Sounds easy - a little *too* easy," grumped Kid Remender.

"Honestly, I think we've accumulated enough plot coupons by this point
to get a break." MPL threw open the door - and revealed the glowing,
crackling energy of a rift!

"...mind you, I might be wrong."

--^v^v^v----^v^v^v^v^v^----v^v^v^--

Confusion reigned at the used book arcade. After Merissa had
disappeared, her goth minions had reverted to normal girls, confused,
panicking. The Legion of Young.Heroes were trying to calm them down,
Manga Girl was calling out for Victoria, the Addams Family pinball game
had scored a multiball, everything was chaos.

"Okay, quiet, QUIET!" Agent Susan Susannah of the LNH-Readers-Who-Are-
Sick-To-Death-With-These-Damn-Neverending-Events-Liberation Front fired
her Mostly-Nonlethal-BIGGUN in the air. Everyone turned to look.

On 4/10/22 5:09 PM, Arthur Spitzer wrote:
<snip>
> JUST ANOTHER MULTI-WRITER CASCADE
> THAT WILL PROBABLY NEVER HAVE AN ENDING
> ISSUE NUMBA ELEVEN

I wrote it like that specifically to help center it. X3

> "Do The Rifty Thing"

I had noticed by this point that the titles for #3 and #9 had both ended in
"thing", so I was consciously continuing the pattern here.

> ========================================================================
> The top of the cover is covered by a huge, garish "LNH RETURN!" banner.

This was my attempt to kickstart a bunch of stories that had stalled out. It
sure did work with this one!

> The corridor outside room 58008 in the dormitories of the LNHQ was
> getting crowded.

heeheehee boobs

> If you hadn't been so quick to go for Plan Ends
> Justify The Means, a dangerous child wouldn't be locked up in there with
> the most powerful destructive force in the galaxy."
>
> "Actually," said Non-Judgmental Agnostic, "now that the Insanity Gems
> have been neutralized, the most powerful destructive force in the galaxy
> is Kubrik's Kube."
>
> "Yes, yes, whatever!"

heeheeheehee :D

> "Nonsense," said the Penultimate Savior, stepping forward. "This
> situation couldn't have been foreseen, and there was-- there *is* no
> other way--"
>
> "Oh, yes," said Masterplan Lad, rolling his eyes. "This problem is
> entirely predictable and has only one possible solution, but *also*
> includes variables that could not have been foreseen beforehand."

I like this line a lot. X3

> "These are Canon Cannons, created through the
> combination of Continuity's Champion and Irony Monger's powers - sorry,
> guys. They have the ability to freeze all of you by fixing you totally
> in continuity, and I *will* use them unless we sit down and talk this
> out like reasonable adults!"

I love playing with Mashup Laq's powers. :D

> "I
> joined the LNH because it was an organization of heroes - of people who
> rejected binary choices, who could always find another, better way! If
> that's not true anymore, I might as well go see if Teenfactor is
> hiring!"

heeheehee. Man there's a lot of lines I'm proud of in this issue. X3

> "Didn't the LNH used to be less intense than this?" whispered
> Foreshadowing Lad to Pliable Lad.
>
> "I dunno, my series was always pretty dramatic," whispered PL. "Less
> people from the future, though."

The LNH had a lot of different tones back in the day. X>

> Penultimate Savior shook his head. "But... you don't *get* it. In our
> timeline, the LNH tried everything, *everything*, and it didn't save
> them. And I'd rather lose Earth - lose my home, my parents, and
> everything I've ever known - than let this destroy the universe."

Sometimes PS is a really cool character.

> "That's right, possible outcomes..." said Masterplan Lad, stroking his
> chin. "This is Looniverse-A, the 'main' timeline - of the Classic LNH,
> anyway. It's being torn apart by its greatest strengths, the fact that
> you can do anything..."
>
> "Guys," said FL, hopping up and down.
>
> "But that's the thing," said Continuity's Champion. "How can we fix such
> a problem without cutting off the ability to do anything?"

I'm really good at themes. |>

> "You see," he said, "I have it from a reliable source that the only way
> to close these rifts is to generate enough inspiration particles to get
> the Writers to finish their stories. And what inspires you to finish
> *your* story? How about a big, ambitious, fun story that managed to
> overcome all obstacles and finish - Beige Midnight!"

And JAC became just such a story, in the end. :>

> "In here is a chunk of
> pure Beige Midnight Story, created as a side-effect of Kid Not Appearing
> In Any Retcon Hour Story becoming Kid Not Appearing In Any Beige
> Midnight Story back in 58.5.

I love extending weird LNH cosmology stuff. :3

> "Honestly, I think we've accumulated enough plot coupons by this point
> to get a break." MPL threw open the door - and revealed the glowing,
> crackling energy of a rift!
>
> "...mind you, I might be wrong."

heeheehee

> Agent Susannah stepped forward. She took a deep breath and faced the
> fourth wall. "Well!" she said. "That was certainly an exciting way to
> end a cascade! It sure was amazing when fairies came by and closed all
> the rifts with magic and everybody went home!"
>
> Lacuna put her head in her hands. "Never mind."

heeheehee

> For decades, astrophysicists have theorized that a solar system could
> have two planets in the same orbit if they fell into each other's
> Lagrangian points - those points where the gravity of the star and the
> other planet cancel out. A pair of planets on opposite sides of a sun
> would fulfill that equation, and in the home system of the Dorfs, such a
> pair exists - Dorfia, the homeworld, and its equal and opposite, Planet
> Inferior!

Just to make the pun explicit, something on the opposite side of the Sun as seen
from Earth would be in an inferior conjunction.

> The entire active membership of the Classic LNH, plus the members of the
> LNH3k and the Legion of Net.Hippies who were visiting this time period,
> trooped out of the Argo, in a double-page spread drawn by George Perez
> in fabulous detail, down to the individual tongues of flame on Burning
> Bra Lass's chest.

God I love his art.

> But even to these distant shores, the rifts have spread!
> Behold! The Net.dusa Cascade!"

This one's a Doctor Who reference. X3

> "To cross over into the world of the Kube, I will suborn the Keymaster
> of the Omnilooniverse - Net.Access!"

"Keymaster" is a Ghostbusters ref, of course, but I really like this title for her.

> He chuckled, low and dangerous. "Simple!" He pointed at Killswitch's
> unconscious body. "I'll take the Spoon of Destiny! In my hands, it will
> become the Spork of Ultimate Darkness! I-- the spork-wielding assassin
> from Jesse Willey's Grocery List #11!"

Heeheeheehee. X> This is a reference to another unfinished cascade, of course,
and lead to Jeanne bringing back this character long-term as Deathspork: The
Terminator.

> A few minutes later, a sealed carboard box addressed to Abu Dhabi
> dropped into the LNHQ's mailbox.

heeheeheehee

> "Indeed," said Masterplan Lad, patting PS on the shoulder. "And," he
> muttered, leaning in for just a moment, "don't think I haven't noticed
> your protectiveness. Good choice, but you'll have to explain sometime
> how LNH2 crossed over with LNH20."
>
> PS blushed. "That-- that's not relevant right now."
>
> "As you say."

heeheeheehee :D

> Continuity's Champion leafed
> through a stack of The Might of Cap'n Quaalude.

A reference to a fictional comic mentioned in Y-Plex Burp's origin post, which I
love calling back to. X3

> Non-Judgmental Agnostic
> was startled when she picked up a package and a jack-in-the-box (painted
> like obscure Decibel Dude & Vigilante Guy villain Bobcat the Clown)
> popped out.

There are surprisingly few clown-themed villains in the LNH, did you know?

> Non-Judgmental Agnostic heard a small noise, next to her ear. She turned
> to see the clown-in-the-box's arm ratcheting back. There was something
> in its hand...
>
> With a ker-ching!, the doll tossed a genuine imitation banana peel
> across the room, landing right smack under Masterplan Lad's feet.

And I had to find one for this joke-slash-plot-point to work. X3

> Author's Notes: Masterplan Lad will return in LNH v2 #50! Killswitch
> will return in LNH20 Comics Presents #18!

The other two "LNH RETURN!" stories.

> Planet Inferior is called that because, as seen from Dorfia, it's in an
> inferior conjunction:
> http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Inferior_conjunction#Superior_and_inferior
> (And also because, y'know, Dorfs.)

Oh, okay, I did explain that. X3

> As of now, the floodgates are open; feel free to take this inspirational
> opportunity to move forward with never-finished storylines! Let's make
> 2015 the year that the LNH moves to the next level!

well.

Drew "still chugging ahead on that" Nilium