I've had this sitting on my virtual desktop for more than a decade,
getting hauled out to be poked at most Decembers. I think I've finally
got it into decent shape, but wouldn't mind suggestions. There's one
bit in particular which... well, I'll bring it up later.

Santa Got Run Over By Our Grandma
TTO: "Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer" by Randy Brooks

Chorus:
Santa got run over by our Grandma
Dropping off his gifts on Christmas night
You can say there's no such thing as Santa
And after this past Christmas, you'd be right

She'd already lost her license:
Nearly blind in both her eyes
Her blood pressure kept on tanking
She was on parole for seven DUIs

We'd made sure the keys were hidden
The car was out of fuel, too
But she hot-wired the ignition
And she filled the tank with moonshine that she brewed

[Chorus]

Grandma had a reputation
Santa wasn't her first kill
It was awkward back in April
When we peeled the Easter Bunny off her grille

Grandma used to love tradition
Where did she go wrong, and why?
I remember those Octobers
When she always used to make Great Pumpkin pie

[Chorus]

Grandma tried to underplay it
Said that it was just a goof
But she clammed up when we asked her
How she got her big blue Chevy on the roof

And they told us at the inquest
That they still were mystified
Not so much that she had hit him
But she hit him sev'ral times before he died

[Chorus]

-----
What I'm not satisfied with is the couplet "The car was out of fuel,
too" / "And she filled the tank with moonshine that she brewed". The
rhyme is imperfect, and really, I'd prefer something a bit stronger in
terms of "normal precaution to prevent someone unauthorized from using a
vehicle" and "ridiculously implausible way for an enfeebled granny to
overcome that". What's been lurking and not jelling for me is something
like
"and we clamped the steering wheel" or
"and the steering wheel was clamped", with
"and she somehow steered it with the parking brake" or
"and she somehow used the parking brake to steer".

Some ludicrous method for removing the clamp might do. "She blew the
clamp away with gelignite" or "she burned the clamp off with a welding
torch". I still can't figure out how to get a couplet with this stuff,
and I'd be open to other precaution / solution ideas.

Any suggestions?

Thanks,
Joel

In Message-ID:<3e71b4bd-7d6c-4642-865e-d7322afbcc7c@sympatico.ca>,
Joel Polowin <jpolowin@sympatico.ca> wrote:

>Santa Got Run Over By Our Grandma
>TTO: "Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer" by Randy Brooks

Nice song.

>What I'm not satisfied with is the couplet "The car was out of fuel,
>too" / "And she filled the tank with moonshine that she brewed".
<snip>
>Any suggestions?

A couple of possibilities:

And a boot was on a wheel
The way she got it off was just surreal

Locked the car up with a chain
But she took an ax and cut it right in twain

--
Arthur T. - ar23hur "at" pobox "dot" com

In Message-ID:<3e71b4bd-7d6c-4642-865e-d7322afbcc7c@sympatico.ca>,
Joel Polowin <jpolowin@sympatico.ca> wrote:

>Santa Got Run Over By Our Grandma
>TTO: "Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer" by Randy Brooks
>
>Chorus:
> Santa got run over by our Grandma
> Dropping off his gifts on Christmas night
> You can say there's no such thing as Santa
> And after this past Christmas, you'd be right

BTW, a couple of decades ago, Joe Kesselman posted a chorus similar
to yours, without any indication he was going to do anything further,
so I did (see Xeno #104). Part of my enjoyment of yours is seeing how
you went in such a different direction.

--
Arthur T. - ar23hur "at" pobox "dot" com

On 12/23/23 12:04 AM, Arthur T. wrote:
> BTW, a couple of decades ago, Joe Kesselman posted a chorus similar
> to yours, without any indication he was going to do anything further,
> so I did (see Xeno #104). Part of my enjoyment of yours is seeing how
> you went in such a different direction.
>

It sounded vaguely familiar. That explains why.

--
Gary McGath http://www.mcgath.com