And we're back in the past and can check the eyrie archive
once again.

And here's where you can find Electrocutioner's Song as well as other
LNH Crossovers:

https://archives.eyrie.org/racc/lnh/Crossovers/

And its the next parts of -- The Electrocutioner's Song!

The Writers for this Crossover are:

Jef "The KaTeFan(tm)" Kolodziej
Todd "Scavenger" Kogutt
Dave "Dvandom" Van Domelen
and Raymond "wReam" Bingham

First Off we have Halls Jordan and Cliche Dude #2 by Jef
"The KaTeFan(tm)" Kolodziej (Part Five)! Will we ever learn
the origin of The Coachster?! How many bullets does it take to
kill a ninja?! And will all the LNH'rs get into the COMA FAD?!!

And Finally we have THE 501 BLUES/RATTLER HIDE SPECIAL #2 by Todd
"Scavenger" Kogutt! How much is that ninja in the window?! Will
The FANDOM of the ALT.RA ruin the value of his action figures with
those filthy LNH'r signatures?! And is it finally time to have that
moment of silence for Flatulence Lad?!!

Find out in...

_
| | Classic
| | =
| | ____ ____ _ ____ ___
| |__ | [] | | [] | | | | [] | | _ \

|____| \__] \__ | |_| \__/ |_|\_\
||
|_| OF NET.HEROES

ADVENTURES #280

=====================
Electrocutioner's Song Part Three
=====================

Trading Card (cut here)
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
+-------------------------------+ +-------------------------------+
| Halls Jordan and Cliche Dude | | Halls Jordan and Cliche Dude |
| | | in the non-sense file. |
| ############ %%%%%%%%%%%% | | |
| # -- -- # %% - - %% | | So, you think that having |
| @ * || * @ %@ * || * @% | | your very own title will aid |
| | LJ | %% OO %% | | the bringers of good against |
| \ / %% %% | | all that is evil. You are |
| \ ------ / %\ ---- /% | | truly mistaken. |
| ---------- % -------- % | | |
| | | % | | % | | Your only hope is to join me |
| __________ | | | | or die with your crushed egos |
| | | | | | | by my indomitable will. |
| | | (LNH CopyRight 1992) |
+-------------------------------+ +-------------------------------+
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Halls Jordan and Cliche Dude #2
Part Five of the Electrocutioner's Song
---------------------------------------
"Something Minister This Way Comes"
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
In front of Net.ropolis's City Hall, a group of costumed figures,
known as the Legion of Net Heroes, prepares to battle an enemy unknown to
them. They are called the Z-Team, mercenaries for hire.
"Z, look what they did with the Coachster. I hope he won't be hurt
that much.", asked Tunes.
"Don't worry about it. Did I ever tell you about his origin? Well,
it started....... Wait a second!!!!!!! When did we start wearing costumed
outfits like the LNH and the LNV? These colors don't even match. We
were not wearing them on the way into the city. Now I'm pissed!!!
WOOOO!!!!", exclaimed Z in a flaming rage.
All of a sudden, Trump says, "Z, isn't that a ninja coming at us?"
Z turns his attention to the leading attacker, and recognizes that
he is, in fact, a ninja. A smile appears on his face.
"This just made my day. Mr. World."
"Yeah?"
"We have ourselves yet another ninja. You know what to do."
With a grin akin to Avon's of Blake's Seven, Mr. World pulls out a
sub-machine pistol out from the back of the truck and fires it directly at
the Ultimate Ninja. Before the Ultimate Ninja could react, a fury of
bullets were upon him, knocking him back into the charging Legion, knocking
out Typo Lad in the process. At the same time, the other members of the
Z-Team each pull out a hand gun, with the exception of Tunes. He was
wielding a B-B gun. Unsure what to do, the Legion stops and starts to back
away, to aid their fallen comrades.

******************************************************************************

In his secret laboratory flotaing over Alt.Comics.Lnh, Mr. Minister
starts to set in motion the next phase of his plan. From his monitors, he
sees that with the added problems of the Z-Team and of Sufferyng, noone
would notice what was happening until it was too late.
"Minister, the victim, oops, I mean the patient is ready.", said the
super-computer, known as Squiggy.
"Very good. Are there any problems this time, such as the one with
the Marvel_Zombie Lad clones?", asked Mr. Minister.
"None."
Mr. Minister walks over to a huge empty room, with the exception of
cryo-tube in the center of it. Placing his palm-print of the key, the
cryo-tube opens. Laying inside is an unconscious SideKick Man.
"Squiggy, how long before we awakens?"
"By my estimations, about 15 minutes."
"That will give me enough time to prepare."

******************************************************************************

"Why are we looking for SideKick Man inside Big.City Mall? I mean,
the last time anyone saw him was at Y-Plex Burp's old base.", wondered
The Forgetting One.
"It's because we went there already, and found no clues to his
possible whereabouts. Anyways, when you don't know where someone is, where
is the first place that you may found them?", says Sig.File Man.
"Uh. I don't know." says the Forgetting One.
"Let me guess. The mall?", asks Doctor Stomper.
"Of course. He may have come here to buy something, and got lost.
He may have been taken by some store owner and made a manniquin. Anything is
possible at a mall.", California Kid points out.
"I like the way you think. Have you read any of my sig.files before?",
says Sig.File Man.
"Nahhhhhh. I just like malls."
"Oh well."

*******************************************************************************

Comic Snob Boy slams down a telephone book in disgust at a local
comic book shop. He walks back to the Legion members who are with the army
of Marvel_Zombie Lad clones outside the We-Have-Comics comic shop.
"I can't find Table's address anywhere. He must have an unlisted
number."
"What are we going to do now? We can't have all of these Marvel_
Zombie Lad clones hang out at LNH Headquarters. We have barely enough
room now.", says Occultism Kid.
"Wait a second. Weren't you in the Big.City mall scene, looking
for SideKick Lad?", asks Obscure Trivia Lad.
"I temporarily challenged the laws of Physics by being at two places
at once. Unfortunately, I lost, so know I am back with you guys. Wow, there
are alot of clones running around here. Someone must be using alot of Mighty
Magic(tm)."
"Mighty Magic(tm)?", asks Lurking Lass.
"Don't you know? The all-powerful, omni-potent, undiminishable, super
spells that can do anything because it is a plot device. Go back and re-read
LNH #34, when Romantic, a super-being loyal to Order, gave the LNH the
Siege Plot-Device, and for a time, changed our lives, until Comic Snob Boy
brought us all back to fight the LNH."
"In the nick of time you might say.", says Cliche Dude.
"Yeah. I remember finding out that our arch-foe Manga Man was a
baker. Boy, did we burn his buns."
The army of Marvel_Zombie Lad clones snickered all at once.
Rebel Yell says, "Ok. We have to get back to business. We need to
know where Table is hiding out."
In unison, the Marvel_Zombie Lad clones speak, "He is probably at his
safehouse, over on Wood Street."
"Why didn't you say so before?" Rebel Yell questioning the clones.
"You never asked."
"Oh. Let's go and cause some violence. Legionaries, Forward!!!!!!"
Along with the army of Marvel_Zombie Lad clones, the Legion group,
headed by Rebel Yell jog their way over to Table.

*****************************************************************************
SideKick Man finally awakens to a voice familiar to him.
"SideKick Man, do you know who I am?"
"Yes, you are Table, my master."
"That is correct. I have a dangerous mission for you. You can
trust noone but me. Do you understand?"
"I do. Your will is my life."
"Very good."
Table hands him a computer chip. "I will explain your mission. You
are to enter LNH HeadQuarters, and replace the main memory chip in the Legion
computer. You will do this discreetly. Noone should see you. If they do,
tell them you are adding memory to the computer so you can add the new
LNH computer game in there. Do you understand?"
"Yes, my master."
"Good. Head over to the BootySlide(tm), and you will be on your way."
SideKick Man walks over to the BootySlide. Then, Table pushes
some buttons, and SideKick Man disappears. After he is gone, Table touches
his watch on his right wrist, and the image of Table fades. In his place
is Mr. Minister.
"Squiggy, what is the percent chance of success for this part of the
plan?"
"100%."
"Good. Very good. Tell As, Sist, and Ants to get ready for the next
step. I love it when a plan comes together."

On 3/26/23 5:22 PM, Arthur Spitzer wrote:
<snip>
> Will we ever learn
> the origin of The Coachster?! How many bullets does it take to
> kill a ninja?! And will all the LNH'rs get into the COMA FAD?!!

Let's do it~ Let's fall into a coma~

> How much is that ninja in the window?! Will
> The FANDOM of the ALT.RA ruin the value of his action figures with
> those filthy LNH'r signatures?! And is it finally time to have that
> moment of silence for Flatulence Lad?!!

I hope so. X>

> Trading Card (cut here)
> -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
> +-------------------------------+ +-------------------------------+
> | Halls Jordan and Cliche Dude | | Halls Jordan and Cliche Dude |
> | | | in the non-sense file. |
> | ############ %%%%%%%%%%%% | | |
> | # -- -- # %% - - %% | | So, you think that having |
> | @ * || * @ %@ * || * @% | | your very own title will aid |
> | | LJ | %% OO %% | | the bringers of good against |
> | \ / %% %% | | all that is evil. You are |
> | \ ------ / %\ ---- /% | | truly mistaken. |
> | ---------- % -------- % | | |
> | | | % | | % | | Your only hope is to join me |
> | __________ | | | | or die with your crushed egos |
> | | | | | | | by my indomitable will. |
> | | | (LNH CopyRight 1992) |
> +-------------------------------+ +-------------------------------+
> -------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I love the little ASCII portraits

> "Something Minister This Way Comes"

heeheehee

> "Don't worry about it. Did I ever tell you about his origin? Well,
> it started....... Wait a second!!!!!!! When did we start wearing costumed
> outfits like the LNH and the LNV? These colors don't even match. We
> were not wearing them on the way into the city. Now I'm pissed!!!
> WOOOO!!!!", exclaimed Z in a flaming rage.

How many of the early stories were just people nitpicking each other? X3;

> "We have ourselves yet another ninja. You know what to do."
> With a grin akin to Avon's of Blake's Seven, Mr. World pulls out a
> sub-machine pistol out from the back of the truck and fires it directly at
> the Ultimate Ninja. Before the Ultimate Ninja could react, a fury of
> bullets were upon him, knocking him back into the charging Legion, knocking
> out Typo Lad in the process.

....and not respecting each other's characters? X3;;;;;

> Mr. Minister walks over to a huge empty room, with the exception of
> cryo-tube in the center of it. Placing his palm-print of the key, the
> cryo-tube opens. Laying inside is an unconscious SideKick Man.
> "Squiggy, how long before we awakens?"
> "By my estimations, about 15 minutes."
> "That will give me enough time to prepare."

Gasp and such!!

> "Why are we looking for SideKick Man inside Big.City Mall? I mean,
> the last time anyone saw him was at Y-Plex Burp's old base.", wondered
> The Forgetting One.
> "It's because we went there already, and found no clues to his
> possible whereabouts.

See, this one's actually proactively working with the other writer.

> Anyways, when you don't know where someone is, where
> is the first place that you may found them?", says Sig.File Man.
> "Uh. I don't know." says the Forgetting One.
> "Let me guess. The mall?", asks Doctor Stomper.
> "Of course. He may have come here to buy something, and got lost.
> He may have been taken by some store owner and made a manniquin. Anything is
> possible at a mall.", California Kid points out.

X3 Amazing. The 90s really were something...

> Comic Snob Boy slams down a telephone book in disgust at a local
> comic book shop. He walks back to the Legion members who are with the army
> of Marvel_Zombie Lad clones outside the We-Have-Comics comic shop.
> "I can't find Table's address anywhere. He must have an unlisted
> number."

X3

> "What are we going to do now? We can't have all of these Marvel_
> Zombie Lad clones hang out at LNH Headquarters. We have barely enough
> room now.", says Occultism Kid.
> "Wait a second. Weren't you in the Big.City mall scene, looking
> for SideKick Lad?", asks Obscure Trivia Lad.
> "I temporarily challenged the laws of Physics by being at two places
> at once. Unfortunately, I lost, so know I am back with you guys.

This is also a good one. X> Very much of a set with what we've been doing with
Continuity as a force.

> Someone must be using alot of Mighty
> Magic(tm)."
> "Mighty Magic(tm)?", asks Lurking Lass.
> "Don't you know? The all-powerful, omni-potent, undiminishable, super
> spells that can do anything because it is a plot device. Go back and re-read
> LNH #34, when Romantic, a super-being loyal to Order, gave the LNH the
> Siege Plot-Device, and for a time, changed our lives, until Comic Snob Boy
> brought us all back to fight the LNH."

Ah, yes. X3

> Rebel Yell says, "Ok. We have to get back to business. We need to
> know where Table is hiding out."
> In unison, the Marvel_Zombie Lad clones speak, "He is probably at his
> safehouse, over on Wood Street."
> "Why didn't you say so before?" Rebel Yell questioning the clones.
> "You never asked."

X3;;;

> Table hands him a computer chip. "I will explain your mission. You
> are to enter LNH HeadQuarters, and replace the main memory chip in the Legion
> computer. You will do this discreetly. Noone should see you. If they do,
> tell them you are adding memory to the computer so you can add the new
> LNH computer game in there. Do you understand?"
> "Yes, my master."
> "Good. Head over to the BootySlide(tm), and you will be on your way."
> SideKick Man walks over to the BootySlide. Then, Table pushes
> some buttons, and SideKick Man disappears. After he is gone, Table touches
> his watch on his right wrist, and the image of Table fades. In his place
> is Mr. Minister.

GASP.

> Chair stumbles out of bed, over to the terminal. "I recognize some
> of these people from your action figure line. There is Rebel Yell, Lurking
> Lass, Cliche Dude, and boy is he cute. And there is.."
> "Stop that.

I thought you people liked nerd girls >:/

> Unknown to Table and Chair, Plot-Error Man regain consciousness
> while being left in the Auntie_May Chamber.
> "Boy, am I hungry. I think I am going to order from Dominoes."
> Plot-Error Man picks up the nearest phone, and dials the local
> number for Dominoes.
> "Hello, Dominoes, I would like to order please.........."

I-- okay? X3

> Ultimate Ninja awakens to see the Z-Team force some of the Legion
> members over to the side of the building, possibly to execute them.
> Under his breathe he says to himself, "Noone will kill the Legion
> except for me."

X3 That's an amazing thing for him to say.

> Mr. World turns around to see
> the Ultimate Ninja getting up ready to spring his attack. Mr. World lets
> loose another barrage of bullets at the Ultimate Ninja. Since the bullets
> are faster than the Ultimate Ninja, they again hit him with blind fury.
> This time, several hit his head, and the Ultimate Ninja drops to the ground.
> "I can't believe that they have taken the Ultimate Ninja down
> twice, in one day, no less." says Halls Jordan.

Yeah, it kind of sucks actually. o3o

> A factor that aided us was the fact that
> in a straight up fight, ninjas are not as good as when they sneak around.
> All ninja do are ASSASSINATE people. They are not geared for regular battle,
> and so they are easy to pick off. With him being the Ultimate Ninja, his
> moves were easily predictable. This fact has been proven with ninjas, the
> better you are, the more predictable you are. Well, after the first couple
> of years, we kill many a ninja. Eventually, the Ninja Union signed an
> agreement with us stating that since we were making the ninja extinct,
> that we would not kill any until they get more.

This is extremely "I, a college student, am the first person ever to think about
this issue, and am therefore smarter than everyone else".