To embrace you with blue horizon
And enfold you with starry night
Means to see through the man's devising
And by Passion to set it right.

That Life shines with galactic splendor
And arises in purple dawn
Means in Humankind to engender
Beauty that goes down to the bone.

In the foam of caressing clouds -
Like in foam of the ocean waves -
Floats Life's Essence - and the mind's doubts
Find inside them Etheric graves.

Can you hear me? Oh can you hear me -
Can the Wind from the Southern shores
Take your atoms and bring them near me
That I feel the one I Adore?

Can the air that last week caressed you -
Air that bathed you along its flight -
Bring to me Cosmic Truths which blessed you
And delight me with your sweet light?

Can the rain from Miami carried
Fall upon me and kiss my cheek
With the essence of my beloved
That I'm near to the one I seek?

Droplets! Wind! I am jealous of you
That you touch her, and I cannot -
And from gusts that come streaming from you
Wisps of Julia to me float.

Wind and clouds! Wanderers of heaven!
Flying from the South to the North -
As you Swirl, Sail, Uplift and Travel -
Bring to me my love!

Love, come forth!

And before my life will vanish
In the final glory of rays
I'll enfold you, the one I cherish,
With Horizon that I embrace.

By Ilya Shambat
https://sites.google.com/site/ibshambatpoetry
Set to music by Alsu Valeeva

Ilya Shambat wrote:
>
> To embrace you with blue horizon
> And enfold you with starry night
> Means to see through the man's devising
> And by Passion to set it right.

> That Life shines with galactic splendor
> And arises in purple dawn
> Means in Humankind to engender
> Beauty that goes down to the bone.

> In the foam of caressing clouds -
> Like in foam of the ocean waves -
> Floats Life's Essence - and the mind's doubts
> Find inside them Etheric graves.

> Can you hear me? Oh can you hear me -
> Can the Wind from the Southern shores
> Take your atoms and bring them near me
> That I feel the one I Adore?

> Can the air that last week caressed you -
> Air that bathed you along its flight -
> Bring to me Cosmic Truths which blessed you
> And delight me with your sweet light?

> Can the rain from Miami carried
> Fall upon me and kiss my cheek
> With the essence of my beloved
> That I'm near to the one I seek?

> Droplets! Wind! I am jealous of you
> That you touch her, and I cannot -
> And from gusts that come streaming from you
> Wisps of Julia to me float.

> Wind and clouds! Wanderers of heaven!
> Flying from the South to the North -
> As you Swirl, Sail, Uplift and Travel -
> Bring to me my love!

> Love, come forth!

> And before my life will vanish
> In the final glory of rays
> I'll enfold you, the one I cherish,
> With Horizon that I embrace.

> By Ilya Shambat
> https://sites.google.com/site/ibshambatpoetry
> Set to music by Alsu Valeeva

Quite excellent....!

On Sunday, September 4, 2022 at 9:02:12 PM UTC-4, ibsh...@gmail.com wrote:
> To embrace you with blue horizon
> And enfold you with starry night
> Means to see through the man's devising
> And by Passion to set it right.

You're onto something there. But let's 1) fix the meter, and 2) drop the corny, romantic flattery and play up the metaphysical elements:

To embrace the blue horizon
And enfold the starry night,
Is to see through man's devising
And by passion, set it right.

That's not just good -- it's downright Blakean.

Let's keep going and see where we end up:

> That Life shines with galactic splendor
> And arises in purple dawn
> Means in Humankind to engender
> Beauty that goes down to the bone.

Life shines with galactic splendor,
Rises in the purple dawn,
Touching mankind to engender
Beauty built from flesh and bone.

So far, so good. I don't know if I can save the next verse, though. Foamy clouds???

> In the foam of caressing clouds -
> Like in foam of the ocean waves -
> Floats Life's Essence - and the mind's doubts
> Find inside them Etheric graves.

In the clutch of clouds caressing
Or the foam from ocean waves,
Floats life's essence like a blessing
Whispered from aetheric graves.

Bingo! Can we keep up the momentum?

> Can you hear me? Oh can you hear me -
> Can the Wind from the Southern shores
> Take your atoms and bring them near me
> That I feel the one I Adore?

Can you hear me? Can you hear me?
Can the wind from Southern shores
Catch your atoms, blow them near me
Till I feel one I adore?

That was easy. But when are you going to stop using hyphens for em dashes?

This next stanza looks like trouble. The meter's clumsy as hell, and "Cosmic Truths" is totally cornball. Let's see if I've still got my mojo:

> Can the air that last week caressed you -
> Air that bathed you along its flight -
> Bring to me Cosmic Truths which blessed you
> And delight me with your sweet light?

Can the air that once caressed you,
Air that bathed you in its flight
Teach me how the gods impressed you
On my soul with silver light?

Whew! That was tough going -- but worth it.

The next stanza is really, really bad. You've really no conception of what meter constitutes, have you? It's more than just approximating the same number of feet in a line. How does a city (or, obscurely, a member of a Native American tribe) carry rain... and why?

> Can the rain from Miami carried
> Fall upon me and kiss my cheek
> With the essence of my beloved
> That I'm near to the one I seek?

Can rain carried from Miami
Fall on me to kiss my cheek,
With the breath of my beloved
Till I'm near the one I seek?

I'd recommend cutting this stanza altogether. Even in its metrically corrected form, the sentiment is... sentimental mush. And I'm not even going to try to rhyme "Miami" -- although, oddly enough, it works. Perhaps it's merely the effect of both "rhymes" being trisyllabic words.

Your stanzas are getting progressively... terrible... as you go along. Did you run out of creative steam halfway through?

> Droplets! Wind! I am jealous of you
> That you touch her, and I cannot -
> And from gusts that come streaming from you
> Wisps of Julia to me float.

Southern wind! I'm jealous of you
You that touch what I cannot --
That in droplets streaming from you
Wisps of Julia to me float.

I'm not fond of personalizing the poem by adding Julia's name, and the inversion in the final line is a minor flaw.

Ah! You're creative juices are starting to flow again. Unfortunately, when I get to the final line, I end up having "They Call the Wind Maria" run through my head.

> Wind and clouds! Wanderers of heaven!
> Flying from the South to the North -
> As you Swirl, Sail, Uplift and Travel -
> Bring to me my love!

White-robed wanderers of heaven!
Sailing northward from the sea,
As you journey to my homeland
Gently guide my love to me.

> Love, come forth!

I don't know what purpose this isolated command serves... but why not?

Love, come forth!

Your closing line, however, is awful: "With Horizon that I embrace"??? That's half Tarzan-speak and half just-plain-weird.

> And before my life will vanish
> In the final glory of rays
> I'll enfold you, the one I cherish,
> With Horizon that I embrace.

And before me, life will vanish
Bathed in Glory's final rays,
As I hold the one I cherish
Far beyond the end of days.

Not bad... although it starts out much stronger than it finishes.

> By Ilya Shambat
> https://sites.google.com/site/ibshambatpoetry
> Set to music by Alsu Valeeva

Here's the edited version in one shot:

TO EMBRACE THE BLUE HORIZON

To embrace the blue horizon
And enfold the starry night,
Is to see through man's devising
And by passion, set it right.

Life shines with galactic splendor,
Rises in the purple dawn,
Touching mankind to engender
Beauty built from flesh and bone.

In the clutch of clouds caressing
Or the foam from ocean waves,
Floats life's essence like a blessing
Whispered from aetheric graves.

Can you hear me? Can you hear me?
Can the wind from Southern shores
Catch your atoms, blow them near me
Till I feel one I adore?

Can the air that once caressed you,
Air that bathed you in its flight
Teach me how the gods impressed you
On my soul with silver light?

Can rain carried from Miami
Fall on me to kiss my cheek,
With the breath of my beloved
Till I'm near the one I seek?

Southern wind! I'm jealous of you
You that touch what I cannot --
That in droplets streaming from you
Wisps of Julia to me float.

White-robed wanderers of heaven!
Sailing northward from the sea,
As you journey to my homeland
Gently guide my love to me.

Love, come forth!

And before me, life will vanish
Bathed in Glory's final rays,
As I hold the one I cherish
Far beyond the end of days.

-- Ilya Shambat