Former �Bachelor� host Chris Harrison is reflecting on his exit from the
long-running ABC reality show.

The TV personality was a staple on �The Bachelor� from the show�s start in
2002 until his alleged racist remarks forced him to resign from his position
in June 2021. Harrison discussed the aftermath during a Monday episode of his
new podcast, �The Most Dramatic Podcast Ever.�

�I lost 20 pounds. I didn�t sleep, I didn�t eat,� the 51-year-old TV star
said of that time in his life. �It was just one gut-punch after the other,
and mentally and physically I deteriorated pretty bad.�

Harrison was eviscerated for defending Season 25 contestant Rachael
Kirkconnell when she was facing backlash for attending an Antebellum-themed
party in her past.

�The picture was from 2018 at an Old South Antebellum party. That�s not a
good look,� former contestant Rachel Lindsay told Harrison during an
interview with �Extra� in February 2021.

�Is it [not] a good look in 2018, or is it not a good look in 2021?� Harrison
replied.

He said that the audience should �have a little grace, a little
understanding, a little compassion� for Kirkconnell attending a party in 2018
when social etiquette was very different. But those opinions were enough to
inspire calls for his firing and eventually led Harrison to resign and issue
a formal apology. His reputation never recovered.

�I was heartbroken. I was gutted,� he explained on the podcast episode. �I
was embarrassed. I was mad at myself. I was disappointed in myself. The last
thing in the world I ever wanted to do was be an agent of anything negative �
whether it had to do with race or anything.�

The former �Bachelor� host said people were following him around and parking
outside his house for weeks after the remarks. �I would sneak down the hill
of my house through my neighbor�s backyard and my buddy would pick me up,�
Harrison recalled.

He also noted that his apology didn�t seem to make any difference in public
perception.

�My name became synonymous with this political, lightning-in-a-bottle
moment,� he said, noting how both left-learning and right-leaning individuals
commented on the situation.

Harrison said his formal apology was �warranted,� yet ineffective.

�I had no problem putting out that first apology,� he said. �But there was
just so much noise at the time, it just didn�t matter. Apologies didn�t
matter.�

�Even after that apology, we were still at ground zero,� Harrison continued.
�It was confusing and it was scary.�

While the longtime host said he hasn�t been tuning in to �The Bachelor� since
his exit, he swears there are no hard feelings on his end.

�I will forever be grateful,� he says of his career-making hosting gig.

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Let's go Brandon!