U.S. � Ratings for the 95th Academy Awards skyrocketed this year, as
millions tuned in hoping to see Jimmy Kimmel get slapped on live
television.

"We have never seen such a tremendous spike in ratings," said ABC
producer Lena Wright. "Jimmy Kimmel potentially being smacked in the
face has remarkable, unparalleled appeal. It crosses every single
demographic."

Despite the Academy Awards' reputation for being a collection of
morality lectures from depraved lunatics, the possibility of a guy
slapping Jimmy Kimmel was enough to prompt millions to turn on the TV.
"I've never once had the slightest interest in watching the Oscars,"
said Ohio native Lennie Finley. "But my wife said there's a real chance
that Jimmy Kimmel will get an open-hand wallop right in the middle of
the whole deal. I had no idea that was part of the Oscars! I wouldn't
miss that for the world."

According to sources, the Academy spent months laboring to decide who
America would most like to see slapped on stage. "We had many strong
contenders, such as Jim Carrey and LeBron James," said Ms. Wright.
"Alec Baldwin was on the shortlist, but I'm not ready to die. In the
end, we hit an absolute grand slam picking Jimmy Kimmel."

At publishing time, the nation's excitement had reached a fever pitch
after Will Smith had reportedly been spotted sneaking into the Oscars,
ironically disguised with a bald cap.

--
Let's go Brandon!

On 2023-03-12 7:21 AM, Ubiquitous wrote:
> U.S. — Ratings for the 95th Academy Awards skyrocketed this year, as
> millions tuned in hoping to see Jimmy Kimmel get slapped on live
> television.
>
> "We have never seen such a tremendous spike in ratings," said ABC
> producer Lena Wright. "Jimmy Kimmel potentially being smacked in the
> face has remarkable, unparalleled appeal. It crosses every single
> demographic."
>
> Despite the Academy Awards' reputation for being a collection of
> morality lectures from depraved lunatics, the possibility of a guy
> slapping Jimmy Kimmel was enough to prompt millions to turn on the TV.
> "I've never once had the slightest interest in watching the Oscars,"
> said Ohio native Lennie Finley. "But my wife said there's a real chance
> that Jimmy Kimmel will get an open-hand wallop right in the middle of
> the whole deal. I had no idea that was part of the Oscars! I wouldn't
> miss that for the world."
>
> According to sources, the Academy spent months laboring to decide who
> America would most like to see slapped on stage. "We had many strong
> contenders, such as Jim Carrey and LeBron James," said Ms. Wright.
> "Alec Baldwin was on the shortlist, but I'm not ready to die. In the
> end, we hit an absolute grand slam picking Jimmy Kimmel."
>
> At publishing time, the nation's excitement had reached a fever pitch
> after Will Smith had reportedly been spotted sneaking into the Oscars,
> ironically disguised with a bald cap.
>

Since I don't see a link to video of a slap, I'm going to assume it
didn't happen.

Not that I believe this story in the first place; it feels like
something from the Babylon Bee. And whaddaya know? It is!

https://babylonbee.com/news/oscars-ratings-soar-as-nation-watches-in-hopes-of-seeing-someone-slap-jimmy-kimmel

--
Rhino

Ubiquitous <weberm@polaris.net> wrote:
> U.S. — Ratings for the 95th Academy Awards skyrocketed this year, as
> millions tuned in hoping to see Jimmy Kimmel get slapped on live
> television.
>
> "We have never seen such a tremendous spike in ratings," said ABC
> producer Lena Wright. "Jimmy Kimmel potentially being smacked in the
> face has remarkable, unparalleled appeal. It crosses every single
> demographic."
>
> Despite the Academy Awards' reputation for being a collection of
> morality lectures from depraved lunatics, the possibility of a guy
> slapping Jimmy Kimmel was enough to prompt millions to turn on the TV.
> "I've never once had the slightest interest in watching the Oscars,"
> said Ohio native Lennie Finley. "But my wife said there's a real chance
> that Jimmy Kimmel will get an open-hand wallop right in the middle of
> the whole deal. I had no idea that was part of the Oscars! I wouldn't
> miss that for the world."
>
> According to sources, the Academy spent months laboring to decide who
> America would most like to see slapped on stage. "We had many strong
> contenders, such as Jim Carrey and LeBron James," said Ms. Wright.
> "Alec Baldwin was on the shortlist, but I'm not ready to die.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

In the
> end, we hit an absolute grand slam picking Jimmy Kimmel."
>
> At publishing time, the nation's excitement had reached a fever pitch
> after Will Smith had reportedly been spotted sneaking into the Oscars,
> ironically disguised with a bald cap.
>
> --
> Let's go Brandon!
>
>

--
The last thing I want to do is hurt you, but it is still on my list.

Rhino <no_offline_contact@example.com> wrote:
> On 2023-03-12 7:21 AM, Ubiquitous wrote:
>> U.S. — Ratings for the 95th Academy Awards skyrocketed this year, as
>> millions tuned in hoping to see Jimmy Kimmel get slapped on live
>> television.
>>
>> "We have never seen such a tremendous spike in ratings," said ABC
>> producer Lena Wright. "Jimmy Kimmel potentially being smacked in the
>> face has remarkable, unparalleled appeal. It crosses every single
>> demographic."
>>
>> Despite the Academy Awards' reputation for being a collection of
>> morality lectures from depraved lunatics, the possibility of a guy
>> slapping Jimmy Kimmel was enough to prompt millions to turn on the TV.
>> "I've never once had the slightest interest in watching the Oscars,"
>> said Ohio native Lennie Finley. "But my wife said there's a real chance
>> that Jimmy Kimmel will get an open-hand wallop right in the middle of
>> the whole deal. I had no idea that was part of the Oscars! I wouldn't
>> miss that for the world."
>>
>> According to sources, the Academy spent months laboring to decide who
>> America would most like to see slapped on stage. "We had many strong
>> contenders, such as Jim Carrey and LeBron James," said Ms. Wright.
>> "Alec Baldwin was on the shortlist, but I'm not ready to die. In the
>> end, we hit an absolute grand slam picking Jimmy Kimmel."
>>
>> At publishing time, the nation's excitement had reached a fever pitch
>> after Will Smith had reportedly been spotted sneaking into the Oscars,
>> ironically disguised with a bald cap.
>>
>
> Since I don't see a link to video of a slap, I'm going to assume it
> didn't happen.
>
> Not that I believe this story in the first place; it feels like
> something from the Babylon Bee. And whaddaya know? It is!
>
> https://babylonbee.com/news/oscars-ratings-soar-as-nation-watches-in-hopes-of-seeing-someone-slap-jimmy-kimmel
>

The link was in the headers. :-)

--
The last thing I want to do is hurt you, but it is still on my list.

anim8rfsk <anim8rfsk@cox.net> wrote:
>Rhino <no_offline_contact@example.com> wrote:
>> On 2023-03-12 7:21 AM, Ubiquitous wrote:
>>> U.S. — Ratings for the 95th Academy Awards skyrocketed this year, as
>>> millions tuned in hoping to see Jimmy Kimmel get slapped on live
>>> television.
>>>
>>> "We have never seen such a tremendous spike in ratings," said ABC
>>> producer Lena Wright. "Jimmy Kimmel potentially being smacked in the
>>> face has remarkable, unparalleled appeal. It crosses every single
>>> demographic."
>>>
>>> Despite the Academy Awards' reputation for being a collection of
>>> morality lectures from depraved lunatics, the possibility of a guy
>>> slapping Jimmy Kimmel was enough to prompt millions to turn on the TV.
>>> "I've never once had the slightest interest in watching the Oscars,"
>>> said Ohio native Lennie Finley. "But my wife said there's a real chance
>>> that Jimmy Kimmel will get an open-hand wallop right in the middle of
>>> the whole deal. I had no idea that was part of the Oscars! I wouldn't
>>> miss that for the world."
>>>
>>> According to sources, the Academy spent months laboring to decide who
>>> America would most like to see slapped on stage. "We had many strong
>>> contenders, such as Jim Carrey and LeBron James," said Ms. Wright.
>>> "Alec Baldwin was on the shortlist, but I'm not ready to die. In the
>>> end, we hit an absolute grand slam picking Jimmy Kimmel."
>>>
>>> At publishing time, the nation's excitement had reached a fever pitch
>>> after Will Smith had reportedly been spotted sneaking into the Oscars,
>>> ironically disguised with a bald cap.
>>>
>>
>> Since I don't see a link to video of a slap, I'm going to assume it
>> didn't happen.
>>
>> Not that I believe this story in the first place; it feels like
>> something from the Babylon Bee. And whaddaya know? It is!
>>
>>
>https://babylonbee.com/news/oscars-ratings-soar-as-nation-watches-in-hopes-of-seeing-someone-slap-jimmy-kimmel
>>
>
>The link was in the headers. :-)

It's not amusing in any way. Ubi was just being his usual shithead
plagarizing self.

On 2023-03-15 17:53:57 +0000, Adam H. Kerman said:

> anim8rfsk <anim8rfsk@cox.net> wrote:
>> Rhino <no_offline_contact@example.com> wrote:
>>> On 2023-03-12 7:21 AM, Ubiquitous wrote:
>>>> U.S. — Ratings for the 95th Academy Awards skyrocketed this year, as
>>>> millions tuned in hoping to see Jimmy Kimmel get slapped on live
>>>> television.
>>>>
>>>> "We have never seen such a tremendous spike in ratings," said ABC
>>>> producer Lena Wright. "Jimmy Kimmel potentially being smacked in the
>>>> face has remarkable, unparalleled appeal. It crosses every single
>>>> demographic."
>>>
>>> Since I don't see a link to video of a slap, I'm going to assume it
>>> didn't happen.
>>>
>>> Not that I believe this story in the first place; it feels like
>>> something from the Babylon Bee. And whaddaya know? It is!
>>>
>>>
>> https://babylonbee.com/news/oscars-ratings-soar-as-nation-watches-in-hopes-of-seeing-someone-slap-jimmy-kimmel
>>
>>>
>>
>> The link was in the headers. :-)
>
> It's not amusing in any way. Ubi was just being his usual shithead
> plagarizing self.

Definitely with Adam on this score - what Ubi does with stuff like this
is both irritating and skeevy.

--
"Who would ever do this to him!?" - HottCiara on DOOL (04-27-2020), asking
who would stab Victor Kirakis... How about ANYONE WHO'S EVER MET HIM??!!

In article <tut5to$10umb$1@dont-email.me>, Ian J. Ball
<IJBall@mac.invalid> wrote:

> On 2023-03-15 17:53:57 +0000, Adam H. Kerman said:
>
> > anim8rfsk <anim8rfsk@cox.net> wrote:
> >> Rhino <no_offline_contact@example.com> wrote:
> >>> On 2023-03-12 7:21 AM, Ubiquitous wrote:
> >>>> U.S. ‹ Ratings for the 95th Academy Awards skyrocketed this year, as
> >>>> millions tuned in hoping to see Jimmy Kimmel get slapped on live
> >>>> television.
> >>>>
> >>>> "We have never seen such a tremendous spike in ratings," said ABC
> >>>> producer Lena Wright. "Jimmy Kimmel potentially being smacked in the
> >>>> face has remarkable, unparalleled appeal. It crosses every single
> >>>> demographic."
> >>>
> >>> Since I don't see a link to video of a slap, I'm going to assume it
> >>> didn't happen.
> >>>
> >>> Not that I believe this story in the first place; it feels like
> >>> something from the Babylon Bee. And whaddaya know? It is!
> >>>
> >>>
> >>
> >> https://babylonbee.com/news/oscars-ratings-soar-as-nation-watches-in-hopes-
> >> of-seeing-someone-slap-jimmy-kimmel
> >>
> >>>
> >>
> >> The link was in the headers. :-)
> >
> > It's not amusing in any way. Ubi was just being his usual shithead
> > plagarizing self.
>
> Definitely with Adam on this score - what Ubi does with stuff like this
> is both irritating and skeevy.

Migod, we're all in agreement on this.