I watched....

Stargate: SG-1 *whaps Anim*

S1E10 'The Torment of Tantalus'
The Pentagon (the place that loses entire countries according to Col.
O'Neill) finds old materials about the investigation of the Stargate
from 1945 and ships it off to SGC. Daniel reviews it, finds out that
someone went thru the 'Gate in 1945 and immediately runs off to violate
security and tell Catherine Langford about it. Instead of throwing
Daniel in to a prison cell General Hammond agrees to send SG-1 *whaps
Anim* to find the lost explorer who just happens to be Catherine's
fiance. What are the odds. They arrive in a crumbling castle at the
top of a crumbling cliff over the ocean and find him. After 50 years
alone he has a little trouble discerning real people from imaginary but
shows them an apparent meeting room for at least four civilizations with
what may be a holographic interstellar Rosetta Stone. This is
intriguing as it appears to show some 30 more elements than Earth knows
of. One small problem though, the Dial Home Device is broken and they
can't dial out. Oops. With a once a year super storm approaching they
decide to power the 'Gate from lightning strikes. Daniel doesn't want
to leave, obsessed with deciphering the alien information but is
half-persuaded, half-forced to go back. Drama ensues as the lightning
is only just enough to have opened a wormhole while blasting parts of
the castle into collapsing and there are doubts that all Our Heroes will
get thru the 'Gate before it shuts down. Since this isn't the series
finale, they all do. Attempts to dial the site later all fail and it is
assumed the castle went *SPLOOSH*. The Happy End.

IMDb FAQ for this episode has one question. "Planet seems hostile and
without wild life or plants. What did Ernest eat all those years?"
Answer: "When he arrived, there was a 7-Eleven just over the next
mountain. He would sneak in when they closed and pig out on junk food.
That's why his clothes were so torn and ragged. He had to make room for
his enormous gut. Over the years, the 7-Eleven closed due to it losing
money but Ernest was able to survive for many years on the fat he had
built up. SG1 arrived just in time with delicious, wholesome, and
healthy MREs for him to eat. He could barely walk or talk when they
arrived, but after stuffing his gullet with a dozen or so MREs, he was
feeling much better and was far more coherent. And they all lived
happily ever after."

Anim, I thought you didn't contribute to IMDb!

S1E11 'Bloodlines'
Teal'c has a son! And a wife! (Or is that "a wife! And a son!"?)
Either way its a problem because he lied to SGC about it and because now
his son is about to be implanted with a goa'uld larva and become a full
fledged (slimed?) Jaffa. Teal'c doesn't like this so he wants to go
back to Chulac to stop it. General Hammond doesn't like that but Our
Heroes remind him that if he doesn't let them all go back they won't
have an episode so he authorizes it. Our Heroes sneak past the guards
and priests at the Stargate and go looking for wifey and son. Along the
way they meet Bra'tac, Teal'c's former master who indoctrinated him in
his evil anti-gou'ald beliefs. O'Neill orders Carter and Jackson back
to the 'Gate to wait for him, Teal'c and Bra'tac to find the wife and
son. They find wifey and son at a camp for outcasts and Teal'c kills a
priest who was just about to perform the primtal and implant son with a
gou'ald. Wifey arrives and is upset because this was their way back
into the good graces of the gou'ald. And the fact that son has Scarlett
Fever doesn't help. O'Neill, Bra'tac, Drey'auc (wifey) and Rya'c (son)
all head back to the Stargate, probably wondering how they ended up in a
group where everyone has an apostrophe in their name. While they are
doing that Carter and Jackson disobey orders and follow some gou'ald
priests to an aquarium full of larval gou'ald. Convenient as SGC would
like one to experiment on, so they grab one and start back to the
Stargate after Jackson shoots up the aquarium 'cause, well, gou'ald!
Meanwhile Rya'c gets sicker and won't make it so larval god gets
transferred from Teal'c to son. While they wait for the gou'ald to heal
Rya'c enough to travel Teal'c gets sick enough to not be able to.
Carter and Jackson catch up, are caught up on the situation and hey!
Wadda ya know, they just happen to have a gou'ald to give to Teal'c!
What a strange stroke of luck. Wife and son are left behind because....
Well, I assume there was a reason. Our Heroes and Bra'tac make it
back to the Stargate where Bra'tac shows what great kung-fu a 133 year
old Jaffa has. Bra'tac promises Teal'c he'll teach his son to be a
heretic too and Our Heroes step thru the Stargate to the sound of
triumphal music while I grab some ice for my pinkie finger after typing
all those apostrophes.

What did you watch?

--
I've done good in this world. Now I'm tired and just want to be a cranky
dirty old man.

In article <tvpqel$2op2p$3@dont-email.me>,
Dimensional Traveler <dtravel@sonic.net> wrote:

> I watched....
>
> Stargate: SG-1 *whaps Anim*
>
> S1E10 'The Torment of Tantalus'
> The Pentagon (the place that loses entire countries according to Col.
> O'Neill) finds old materials about the investigation of the Stargate
> from 1945 and ships it off to SGC. Daniel reviews it, finds out that
> someone went thru the 'Gate in 1945 and immediately runs off to violate
> security and tell Catherine Langford about it. Instead of throwing
> Daniel in to a prison cell General Hammond agrees to send SG-1 *whaps
> Anim* to find the lost explorer who just happens to be Catherine's
> fiance. What are the odds. They arrive in a crumbling castle at the
> top of a crumbling cliff over the ocean and find him. After 50 years
> alone he has a little trouble discerning real people from imaginary but
> shows them an apparent meeting room for at least four civilizations with
> what may be a holographic interstellar Rosetta Stone. This is
> intriguing as it appears to show some 30 more elements than Earth knows
> of. One small problem though, the Dial Home Device is broken and they
> can't dial out. Oops. With a once a year super storm approaching they
> decide to power the 'Gate from lightning strikes. Daniel doesn't want
> to leave, obsessed with deciphering the alien information but is
> half-persuaded, half-forced to go back. Drama ensues as the lightning
> is only just enough to have opened a wormhole while blasting parts of
> the castle into collapsing and there are doubts that all Our Heroes will
> get thru the 'Gate before it shuts down. Since this isn't the series
> finale, they all do. Attempts to dial the site later all fail and it is
> assumed the castle went *SPLOOSH*. The Happy End.
>
> IMDb FAQ for this episode has one question. "Planet seems hostile and
> without wild life or plants. What did Ernest eat all those years?"
> Answer: "When he arrived, there was a 7-Eleven just over the next
> mountain. He would sneak in when they closed and pig out on junk food.
> That's why his clothes were so torn and ragged. He had to make room for
> his enormous gut. Over the years, the 7-Eleven closed due to it losing
> money but Ernest was able to survive for many years on the fat he had
> built up. SG1 arrived just in time with delicious, wholesome, and
> healthy MREs for him to eat. He could barely walk or talk when they
> arrived, but after stuffing his gullet with a dozen or so MREs, he was
> feeling much better and was far more coherent. And they all lived
> happily ever after."

That doesn't make sense. The 7-11 was clearly open 24 hours/day and
therefore it was never closed for him to sneak into.