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arts / alt.language.urdu.poetry / Aik ghazal pesh-e-khidmat hai!

SubjectAuthor
* Aik ghazal pesh-e-khidmat hai!Anis Khan
+* Re: Aik ghazal pesh-e-khidmat hai!Zoya
|`- Re: Aik ghazal pesh-e-khidmat hai!Anis Khan
`* Re: Aik ghazal pesh-e-khidmat hai!Irfan Abid
 `- Re: Aik ghazal pesh-e-khidmat hai!Anis Khan

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Aik ghazal pesh-e-khidmat hai!

<76dd2ae5-6ce3-4678-bc59-4d2492397e05n@googlegroups.com>

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Subject: Aik ghazal pesh-e-khidmat hai!
From: aniskhan...@gmail.com (Anis Khan)
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 by: Anis Khan - Wed, 9 Mar 2022 03:49 UTC

Kuch na haasil hai aazmaane se
Jab tawaqqo nahiN zamaane se
Bhool jaane ki zid rahi baaqi
Yaad karte rahe bhulane se
Bhool jaane ka khauf itna hai
Yaad karte haiN har bahane se
Zindagi kitni khoobsoorat hai
Yaad dil meiN teri sajane se
Hum to khud hi jahaaN se roothe haiN
Kya gila hum kareN zamaane se
Milte rahiye Anis logoN se
Rishte rahte haiN bas nibhaane se
~ Anis Khan

Re: Aik ghazal pesh-e-khidmat hai!

<86b87b12-c72b-4ec4-ade2-e96a2953633bn@googlegroups.com>

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Subject: Re: Aik ghazal pesh-e-khidmat hai!
From: zbi...@yahoo.com (Zoya)
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 by: Zoya - Fri, 11 Mar 2022 16:28 UTC

On Tuesday, March 8, 2022 at 9:49:53 PM UTC-6, aniskh...@gmail.com wrote:
> Kuch na haasil hai aazmaane se
> Jab tawaqqo nahiN zamaane se
> Bhool jaane ki zid rahi baaqi
> Yaad karte rahe bhulane se
> Bhool jaane ka khauf itna hai
> Yaad karte haiN har bahane se
> Zindagi kitni khoobsoorat hai
> Yaad dil meiN teri sajane se
> Hum to khud hi jahaaN se roothe haiN
> Kya gila hum kareN zamaane se
> Milte rahiye Anis logoN se
> Rishte rahte haiN bas nibhaane se
> ~ Anis Khan

Anis sahib,

Welcome to Alup. Our group is unusually slow these days, so obviously your post has not generated the response it would have under different circumstances.

My compliments on your ghazal, I enjoyed reading it. I like both ideas: 'bhool jaane ki zid' and 'bhool jaane ka Khauf'.

> Bhool jaane ka khauf itna hai
> Yaad karte haiN har bahane se

Very nice!

I have a slight issue with the construction of this misra:

"Yaad karte rahe bhulane se"

I feel that "yaad aate rahe" would gel better with "bhulaane se", but I do understand that since you have 'zid' in the first misra, you do want to say "yaad karte rehe". Makes sense?

Hope you will not get discouraged by the minimal response and we will continue to see you around.

We really are a fun bunch, so:

"Milte rahiye Anis logoN se" :)

_______Zoya

Re: Aik ghazal pesh-e-khidmat hai!

<a511b6d9-3804-439c-8124-ce2b138bd79en@googlegroups.com>

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Subject: Re: Aik ghazal pesh-e-khidmat hai!
From: aniskhan...@gmail.com (Anis Khan)
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 by: Anis Khan - Mon, 14 Mar 2022 18:06 UTC

On Friday, March 11, 2022 at 11:28:42 AM UTC-5, Zoya wrote:
> On Tuesday, March 8, 2022 at 9:49:53 PM UTC-6, aniskh...@gmail.com wrote:
> > Kuch na haasil hai aazmaane se
> > Jab tawaqqo nahiN zamaane se
> > Bhool jaane ki zid rahi baaqi
> > Yaad karte rahe bhulane se
> > Bhool jaane ka khauf itna hai
> > Yaad karte haiN har bahane se
> > Zindagi kitni khoobsoorat hai
> > Yaad dil meiN teri sajane se
> > Hum to khud hi jahaaN se roothe haiN
> > Kya gila hum kareN zamaane se
> > Milte rahiye Anis logoN se
> > Rishte rahte haiN bas nibhaane se
> > ~ Anis Khan
> Anis sahib,
>
> Welcome to Alup. Our group is unusually slow these days, so obviously your post has not generated the response it would have under different circumstances.
>
> My compliments on your ghazal, I enjoyed reading it. I like both ideas: 'bhool jaane ki zid' and 'bhool jaane ka Khauf'.
> > Bhool jaane ka khauf itna hai
> > Yaad karte haiN har bahane se
> Very nice!
>
> I have a slight issue with the construction of this misra:
> "Yaad karte rahe bhulane se"
> I feel that "yaad aate rahe" would gel better with "bhulaane se", but I do understand that since you have 'zid' in the first misra, you do want to say "yaad karte rehe". Makes sense?
>
> Hope you will not get discouraged by the minimal response and we will continue to see you around.
>
> We really are a fun bunch, so:
>
> "Milte rahiye Anis logoN se" :)
>
> _______Zoya

Thank you Zoya Sahiba. Glad that you liked the ghazal. Agree with your suggestion of "yaad aate rahe" as it would work well, however, my intent was to make it more an active process "karte rahe" vs. a passive one "aate rahe." Appreciate your suggestion though!

Aate raheNge mehfil meiN gar Khuda laaya!!!
-Anis

Re: Aik ghazal pesh-e-khidmat hai!

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Subject: Re: Aik ghazal pesh-e-khidmat hai!
From: irfanal...@gmail.com (Irfan Abid)
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 by: Irfan Abid - Tue, 15 Mar 2022 03:31 UTC

On Tuesday, March 8, 2022 at 10:49:53 PM UTC-5, aniskh...@gmail.com wrote:
> Kuch na haasil hai aazmaane se
> Jab tawaqqo nahiN zamaane se
> Bhool jaane ki zid rahi baaqi
> Yaad karte rahe bhulane se
> Bhool jaane ka khauf itna hai
> Yaad karte haiN har bahane se
> Zindagi kitni khoobsoorat hai
> Yaad dil meiN teri sajane se
> Hum to khud hi jahaaN se roothe haiN
> Kya gila hum kareN zamaane se
> Milte rahiye Anis logoN se
> Rishte rahte haiN bas nibhaane se
> ~ Anis Khan
>

Anis sb, aadaab!

bazm meN aap kaa Khair maqdam hai. aap kii Ghazal achchhii hai aur pasand aayii. ummiid hai mulaaqaat hotii rahegii.

niyaazmand,
Irfan :Abid:

Re: Aik ghazal pesh-e-khidmat hai!

<23cdcff7-1e83-4953-9a00-4c1859220266n@googlegroups.com>

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Subject: Re: Aik ghazal pesh-e-khidmat hai!
From: aniskhan...@gmail.com (Anis Khan)
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 by: Anis Khan - Wed, 16 Mar 2022 15:39 UTC

On Monday, March 14, 2022 at 11:31:53 PM UTC-4, Irfan Abid wrote:
> On Tuesday, March 8, 2022 at 10:49:53 PM UTC-5, aniskh...@gmail.com wrote:
> > Kuch na haasil hai aazmaane se
> > Jab tawaqqo nahiN zamaane se
> > Bhool jaane ki zid rahi baaqi
> > Yaad karte rahe bhulane se
> > Bhool jaane ka khauf itna hai
> > Yaad karte haiN har bahane se
> > Zindagi kitni khoobsoorat hai
> > Yaad dil meiN teri sajane se
> > Hum to khud hi jahaaN se roothe haiN
> > Kya gila hum kareN zamaane se
> > Milte rahiye Anis logoN se
> > Rishte rahte haiN bas nibhaane se
> > ~ Anis Khan
> >
> Anis sb, aadaab!
>
> bazm meN aap kaa Khair maqdam hai. aap kii Ghazal achchhii hai aur pasand aayii. ummiid hai mulaaqaat hotii rahegii.
>
> niyaazmand,
> Irfan :Abid:

Bahut shukriya aap ke khair maqdam ka. Look forward to participating often.

Anis


arts / alt.language.urdu.poetry / Aik ghazal pesh-e-khidmat hai!

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