And we're back in the past and can check the eyrie archive
once again.

And here's where you can find both Lost Cause Boy Specials:

https://archives.eyrie.org/racc/lnh/Miniseries/Lost.Cause.Boy/

And we've reached the 300th issue of this reprint old LNH stories
series! Which I suppose puts us in the No-Skipped-Issues to 300
club with umm... Haiku Gorilla and...? Is that it?

And it's the Lost Cause Boy Special #2 by Doug Wojtowicz! This one
is another of those Milestone LNH issues! We've got the Death of
Lost Cause Boy -- which is significant because he's managed to stay
dead (well, maybe there have been some stories where he came back
as a zombie, but I'll ignore those). But it's 2023 and he's still
dead -- take that Bucky Barnes and Barry Allen!

Anyways, here it is...

_
| | Classic
| | =
| | ____ ____ _ ____ ___
| |__ | [] | | [] | | | | [] | | _ \

|____| \__] \__ | |_| \__/ |_|\_\
||
|_| OF NET.HEROES

ADVENTURES #300!

=====================
LOST CAUSE BOY SPECIAL #2
=====================

[ Last Issue, Lost Cause Boy was conned by Shark-Finned Agent, a disciple of
DeFacto, into giving him his own mega-violent two-issue miniseries, in which
he would eventually die at the hands of the grotesque and monsterous Spoonsday,
with the threat of being revived by some hack later on, perhaps even, Hackman.
And now, as Causie plunges into desperate battle with Spoonsday, who has a
stupidity field around him that prevents the rest of the LNH from stopping him,
Causie takes the battle to DeFacto, making sure he won't be the only one
dead and wrapped in plastic. ]

This issue is a poly-bagged issue with a Lost Cause Boy action figure, trying
to push through the poly-baggin, clawing, a look of terror on his face. The
cover itself is almost a mirror of the action figure clawing through
the poly-baggin, and is the same for the Newsstand special edition. There is
a gatefold centerpiece showing the entire roster of the Net.Patrol Panta,
Causie, Anarky, Curly, and Pliable Lad, with the still intact LNH headquarters
Those Annoying Crosspost Brothers, Ultimate Ninja, ERNIE's assembled
forces with the big MachineThing (tm), Acton Lord, Rebel Yell, and
the assembled cast from the Comics Conspiracy written by Kid Kirby.
(It has three folds in it). The covers are also gatefold, the insides
showing all the covers of the Integrity Quest issues, complete with
prism and hologram imprints. (The ultimate sellout issue.)

Opening splash page, Causie riding Spoonsday as they crash into DeFacto's
apartment, Spoonsday flattening DeFacto like a bug, Causie shouting at the
top of his lungs.

"WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY COMIC BOOK?!?"

DeFacto shrugging Spoonsday aside, crawling to his knees. "Kids will buy this
up like hotcakes. No one ever sold a full sized special edition dying action
figure with a comic book before. It will sell so fast that nobody will be
able to find one in two days for less than fifty dollars."

"Youuuuu, you sick little monkey!" Causie snarled as Spoonsday rose to his
feet. The mindless hulk rushed towards him, and Causie deftly dodged, the
massive creature plowing through the wal and seventeen city blocks.

"Bugtown's getting destroyed. Trampled. Aren't you going to stop him?"
DeFacto asked.

"I'm going to help him," Causie replied. "The two of us can flatten Bugtown
even though it is almost infinite. And once it's destroyed, it'll regenerate
back to where it originally was... before you mutated it."

DeFacto started to reach for his Plot Device, trying to shunt Causie and
Spoonsday out of alt.fan.bugtown, but his hand was relentlessly chewed off by
a snarl of .380 auto slugs. DeFacto cradled the bloody stump to his chest,
looking up to see Jon Crosspost and Josh Crosspost standing there, Jon holding
an Ingrahm M-11.

"A .380 subgun, Jon?" Josh asked.

"It was all that I could fit in my nose," Jon answered. "Lose the Plot Device
bro-of mine."

"With pleasure," Josh replied, pulling out a plunger.

"But, there's no explosives attatched," DeFacto whined.

"Oh, we're nuking the entire building. Well, not nuking," Josh said,
twisting the plunger, shifting out.

"We're just using an anti-matter explosion," Jon replied, following his
brother. [And we're both shifting to the nearest hilltop to watch the
mushroom bloom.]

Causie flew out of the building as he saw the core of it turn white with
nothingness. DeFacto scrambled, rushing madly towards safety, trying to
activate his own Plot Device and teleport himself out. By the time he hit
the code sequence, his left arm and leg were vaporized by the explosion.

Causie grabbed Spoonsday and flew back into the anti-matter event horizon,
both of them being washed over by waves of annihilation as they hammered
at each other in mid-flight.

"Don't you at least talk?" Causie griped, grabbing Spoonsday by the privates
and playing crack the whip.

"GHEURHWERHWEUIHFUIWERHIAK!" Spoonsday grunted, not unlike the Tasmanian
Devil. Kicking Causie in the teeth, he sent him plowing through even more
property, buildings crashing.

Causie lunged again, pounding Spoonsday into the ground, hitting a fault line
and sending half the city into the bay, where giant sharks pounced upon the
population, eating heartily of the poor, demented folks of Bugtown.

Suddenly, Spoonsday plunged his fist into the ground, grabbing a huge cable,
pulling at it. Causie recognized it.

"No! Not the net li...."

*****************************************************************************

The Net.Patrol assembled, watching the monitors as the rest of the LNH were
busy evacuating Net.tropolis in case Causie and Spoonsday would return. Panta
looked up at the monitor link to alt.fan.bugtown.

"The entire net.link went down for a second. Any active files in there would
have been lost, and that means..." Panta began.

"Look! Bugtown! It's come back online!" Anarky shouted.

"But I don't see any signs of destruction. Or any sign that DeFacto even
infected the place," Pliable Lad said, craning his neck to get a closer look
at the monitor.

Rebel Yell appeared at the monitor room. "You guys, if Spoonsday returns,
and LCB isn't here to stop him, you're going to have to delay him. There's
no way we can allow the fine people of Net.tropolis to be harmed."

"But what about the mightiest of our team? Kid Kirby? Continuity Champ?
Typo Lad? Can't they do anything?" Pliable Lad asked. "We are the weakest
links of the Legion..."

"Speak for yourself," Anarky said.

"Apparently, there appears to be a continuity field surrounding the entire
city of Net.tropolis, emminating from the remains of the LNH HQ. It forced
everyone out," Rebel Yell said. "Not even Champ can penetrate it."

"So that means... Causie is our only chance, due to another plot device,"
Panta said. She looked around the monitor room. (Actually, room was a general
term. There were the remains of a few walls, and the monitor console, but
that was about it. Everything else was wreckage. She put her hand to her
chest, lowering her head.

Pliable Lad and Anarky both took deep sighs, watching her stand there, so
sleek and beautiful, and so heartbroken. When she had wanted to join the
Legion, Causie was the loudest voice present to support her, even though it
would have ostracized him. And then there was the "Woody" incident, a diabolic
plot to ruin the Integrity of Integrity Quest.

Anarky wanted to hold her and console her, but he remembered that he was
himself married, with two kids, who were now being rushed to safety by the
rest of the LNH. Pliable Lad, who had barely even had a chance to even touch
Panta, was also interested in consoling her.

Panta looked up as the red alert sounded. Everyone was broken from their
silent reverie, watching the monitors as a hole ripped open in the net.stream
and two limp forms came flying through, impacting only meters outside the
monitor room.

Panta bounded to Causie's side as he began to stir, Anarky and Pliable Lad
taking positions between them and Spoonsday, who appeared motionless. Curly
was busy filling up his kitty litter box (the proto-Stimpy that he is), taking
a few taste bites.

"Where am I?" Causie asked.

"Well, you're either in rec.arts.comics, rec.arts.comics.misc, or
alt.comics.lnh," Panta said, stroking his hair back. "You're alright."

"The comic, is it still wrapped in plastic?" Causie asked. Panta cocked
her head.

"Uhhhh, guys, I think we'd better get moving. Ugly's starting to get up,"
Pliable Lad called, turning into a cross between a Formula 1 racecar and
a station wagon. Anarky and Curly loaded Causie in as Panta took the
driver's seat.