On the eve of the finale of a record-breaking season of Vanderpump Rules,
executive producer Alex Baskin � who runs Evolution Media, which produces the
show along with RHOC, RHOBH, and others for Bravo � gave an interview to the
Hollywood Reporter debunking some popular internet rumors and saying Raquel
is not pregnant and that the focus of the show is not moving to Schwartz &
Sandy�s. But mostly he walked back his previous comments suggesting that the
big revelation at the end of the reunion might make the cast reevaluate
whether they want to sign their contracts for the next season. He gave some
hints of what season 11 might look like now that contracts are going out,
saying there are discussions about bringing back former cast members; that
the cast can�t really say, �Sorry, but I�m not filming with that person�; and
that Vanderpump Rules as we know it is going to look pretty much the same.
(Although it may have some interesting new competition in the form of Hulu�s
just-announced Vanderpump Villa, which is about the staff of Lisa�s French
chateau and guest house and will be produced by Lisa herself with a different
production company, Bunim/Murray.)

�The cast knows that those conditional demands never work,� Baskin says.
�It�s a matter of dialing in what is organic for the group to be together,
what makes sense. And knowing we want to see where they go from here. It
can�t be a show with separate islands. That doesn�t work and it�s not
exciting if we have groups who agree with each other but never interact.�

I agree with what he says, but how exactly is that going to happen? Will
there be cast parties at Tom Tom and no one shows up but the Toms? Is Scheana
going to be forced to have the Toms crash her inevitable vow renewal in Punta
Cana, the two of them sitting in their robes watching from a balcony like the
new Katie Maloney and Kristina Always Both Names Kelly? And what if
production does force everyone to hang out with the Toms? Is every episode
just going to be DJ James Kennedy and Lauren Kent (that�s for trying to
pretend like using the name �Lala� is somehow different from using �Raquel�)
shouting at the Toms about how disgusting they are? That�s not really a show
I want to watch.

And what about Raquel? Baskin says they�re in talks with her team, but she
can�t be capable of doing another season. I don�t know that I want to see her
do another season. Yeah, what she did was awful, but this horse is already
dead. We don�t have to set it on fire while it tries to apply false
eyelashes.

So if Raquel is out, who is coming back? Katie just said she doesn�t think
that Stassi Schroeder or Kristen Doute, who were fired in 2020 for racist
behavior toward castmate Faith Stowers, are interested in returning. Although
Doute returned for a flip-flopped scene with Ariana in which they tried to
exorcize their mutual ex, doing a little cameo and coming back full time are
two different things. I wouldn�t be surprised if we see Kristen at some
lunches, but, yeah, I don�t think she�s going to be hanging out at SUR in the
opening any time soon.

That leaves us with Jax Taylor and Brittany Cartwright, the heirs to a
MeeMaw�s Beer Cheese fortune. Please, in the name of all the saints in heaven
and the reality stars below, do not bring Jax and Brittany back. Jax and his
lying, cheating pathology had become tired by the time he declared it �his
show� and Lisa Vanderpump had him summarily banned from the corner of Santa
Monica Boulevard that she won in a duel with the man who discovered West
Hollywood. This pasta-ed-up blowhard shouting about how he was right about
Tom Sandoval the whole time is the last thing this show needs.

But the show clearly needed something before season ten kicked off; it had
been faltering with fans and in the ratings for years. And this season did
show some improvements outside of the Scandoval of it all. Lisa Vanderpump�s
role had become increasingly irrelevant over the years, but I loved how this
season repositioned her from lording over the SURvers at her restaurant to
serving as mentor to different groups of budding restaurant entrepreneurs. It
seems like there is a future in a show set up like that, with Lisa as the
bridge between the two sides � if not trying to make them get along, then at
least getting them into the same venue for filming opportunities.

With or without Lisa, though, Evolution still has to figure out how to blend
two camps that absolutely hate each other. Does the show try to pull a season
eight and bring in a whole new host of characters who work at Schwartz &
Sandy�s? Maybe. Do Ariana and her coterie of gays get more attention for
sitting around watching Love Island? Also maybe. Or maybe the show becomes
about forgiveness, who can earn it and who deserves it � Oh, please, this
isn�t a reboot of The Leftovers. We want absolute messiness, and we want it
now.

The problem facing Evolution is the same one facing another Bravo-aligned
production company, Sirens Media, which put RHONJ on pause after the
intractable rift between Joe and Melissa Gorga and Teresa Giudice and the
180-pound hunk of ground beef she recently married. In recent years the show
has become entirely about sides, with Melissa huddling on her couch with
Margaret Josephs and new girl Rachel Fuda, and Teresa standing by with her
sniveling toady Jennifer Aydin and other new girl Danielle Cabral. (Where�s
Dolores? Just letting that fence give her inner thighs splinters.) Before the
RHONJ reunion I was team �Fire both Melissa and Teresa and start over,� but
after Melissa�s masterful gloves-off performance and Teresa following her man
down the rabbit hole, I can envision a future where they both get to stay and
the show continues on.

But again: How? It was already inorganic that Katie and Tom Schwartz had to
have dinner in Mexico to celebrate selling their house when they clearly hate
each other post-divorce and would rather be anywhere else. How are we going
to get people who loathe each other to such an electrifying extent in the
same room again and have it seem like anything akin to, well, reality?

The good news is that is not our job to figure out, and if you can, you
should call either Evolution or Sirens immediately and trade in your soul for
a career in the reality-television arts and sciences. But these people have
given us so many great shows, so many excellent moments over the years, that
if anyone can figure it out, it�s them. Just please don�t let the answer � on
either coast, or really ever in life � be Jax Taylor.

The Winners and Losers of Scandoval

There�s never been a reality-television scandal as cut-and-dried as the one
we�ve been marveling at for the past three months. It�s clear that the winner
here is Ariana and her whole side of the reunion and the losers are, well,
everyone else. But let�s turn the lens on our microscope up one level and see
how some of Scandoval�s more outlying entities fared.

WINNER: �Good as Gold�

The Scheana Shay track was always a certified bop, but when Uber One turned
it into sponcon it became what it was always meant to be: not a single, but a
jingle.

LOSER: Lightning Bolts

Not even Zeus wants his anymore.

WINNER: Merch

Whether it�s Lala�s �Send It to Darryl� hoodie, Katie and Ariana�s �Something
About Her� T-shirts, or everything Worm With a Mustache, your gag gifts are
covered for the next decade.

LOSER: Sandoval�s Mom�s Retirement Fund

She sunk it all into Schwartz & Sandy�s, a restaurant that has had its Yelp
reviews permanently frozen.

WINNER: Katie Maloney�s Hair

In ten seasons she had never once had a good hair day until she showed up to
film that reunion. Shellac that wig and never take it off.

LOSER: White Nail Polish

It�s Joey Buttafuoco pants for millennials.

WINNER: Love Island

Who doesn�t want to sit around and watch this with Ariana, Logan, and the
rest of the crew? (Yes, Tom, it is a time commitment, but that�s what makes
it fun!)

LOSER: Pageants

This scandal is the worst thing reality TV did to the pageant circuit since
Here Comes Honey Boo Boo.

WINNER: White Claw

Scheana sitting in her trailer 100 yards from the reunion watching it while
gripping a can of hard seltzer was literally every single one of us.

LOSER: Coors Light

The Toms� and Raquel�s drink of choice was disgusting to start with. Now it�s
on a whole different level.

WINNER: TikTok

This hasn�t been the Chinese spying app�s biggest or best scandal, but it
really was where all of us were going to get our news for months.

LOSER: The Most Extras

Imagine the indignity of being Tom�s backing band and having to play concerts
every night to a crowd of people who hate you.

WINNER: Bravo

It revitalized a flagging franchise, made a whole heap of cash, and found
itself in the Zeitgeist in a way it hasn�t been since the glory days of Real
Housewives.

LOSER: Andy Cohen

He�s an executive producer on all the Housewives shows, but not Pump Rules.
However, his faces did win the reunion.

WINNER: Us

I don�t think we�re ever going to see a reality-TV moment like this again,
and it has been an absurdly amusing ride.