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While having never invented a sin, I'm trying to perfect several.

arts / alt.arts.poetry.comments / THE TEAR DROP

SubjectAuthor
* THE TEAR DROPSana lnu
+- Re: THE TEAR DROPW.Dockery
+* Re: THE TEAR DROPZod
|`* Re: THE TEAR DROPWill Dockery
| `* Re: THE TEAR DROPZod
|  +* Re: THE TEAR DROPMichael Pendragon
|  |`- Re: THE TEAR DROPGeneral-Zod
|  `- Re: THE TEAR DROPWill Dockery
`- Re: THE TEAR DROPMichael Pendragon

1
THE TEAR DROP

<8cc04583-5b11-43a0-b0bc-ba8b4688fa72n@googlegroups.com>

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Subject: THE TEAR DROP
From: sanalnu...@gmail.com (Sana lnu)
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 by: Sana lnu - Mon, 9 Jan 2023 16:04 UTC

THE TEAR DROP

It was not just a drop of water,

Rolling down my cheeks.

It was all the pain and suffering,

That made me weak.

You saw that pain,

You saw me weak,

But you had a blindfold on ,

While I squeaked...

Those tears were acid,

That burned my skin,

And the skin became darker and darker ,

While I screamed...

You listen to it,

But did nothing.

And that right there,

Was the saddest feeling.

And the Deeper and deeper it got,

It burned my heart a lot,

Making me completely hollow,

But there was nothing I forgot.

You were shy I guess,

Or you never thought of this,

I seriously need help:

And that wasn’t a bliss.

You never showed concern,

Cause you thought that was water that had flown,

But it was a tear,

And all I wanted to hear was don’t you worry dear.

But you never said,

And hence I cried.

Shedding off those acids ,

Till the time I died.

Re: THE TEAR DROP

<a72ddb67374a720d6cb2a833dcd1fb62@news.novabbs.com>

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Date: Mon, 9 Jan 2023 20:19:22 +0000
Subject: Re: THE TEAR DROP
X-Spam-Checker-Version: SpamAssassin 3.4.2 (2018-09-13) on novabbs.org
From: will.doc...@gmail.com (W.Dockery)
Newsgroups: alt.arts.poetry.comments
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 by: W.Dockery - Mon, 9 Jan 2023 20:19 UTC

Sana lnu wrote:
>
> THE TEAR DROP

> It was not just a drop of water,

> Rolling down my cheeks.

> It was all the pain and suffering,

> That made me weak.

> You saw that pain,

> You saw me weak,

> But you had a blindfold on ,

> While I squeaked...

> Those tears were acid,

> That burned my skin,

> And the skin became darker and darker ,

> While I screamed...

> You listen to it,

> But did nothing.

> And that right there,

> Was the saddest feeling.

> And the Deeper and deeper it got,

> It burned my heart a lot,

> Making me completely hollow,

> But there was nothing I forgot.

> You were shy I guess,

> Or you never thought of this,

> I seriously need help:

> And that wasn’t a bliss.

> You never showed concern,

> Cause you thought that was water that had flown,

> But it was a tear,

> And all I wanted to hear was don’t you worry dear.

> But you never said,

> And hence I cried.

> Shedding off those acids ,

> Till the time I died.

Hello again, Sana, welcome back.

🙂

Re: THE TEAR DROP

<0bd36097-2d88-4cb2-9a86-036f70d6904an@googlegroups.com>

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Subject: Re: THE TEAR DROP
From: vhugo...@gmail.com (Zod)
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 by: Zod - Mon, 9 Jan 2023 22:50 UTC

On Monday, January 9, 2023 at 11:04:51 AM UTC-5, sanal...@gmail.com wrote:
>
> THE TEAR DROP
>
> It was not just a drop of water,
>
> Rolling down my cheeks.
>
> It was all the pain and suffering,
>
> That made me weak.
>
>
>
> You saw that pain,
>
> You saw me weak,
>
> But you had a blindfold on ,
>
> While I squeaked...
>
>
>
> Those tears were acid,
>
> That burned my skin,
>
> And the skin became darker and darker ,
>
> While I screamed...
>
> You listen to it,
>
> But did nothing.
>
> And that right there,
>
> Was the saddest feeling.
>
> And the Deeper and deeper it got,
>
> It burned my heart a lot,
>
> Making me completely hollow,
>
> But there was nothing I forgot.
>
>
>
> You were shy I guess,
>
> Or you never thought of this,
>
> I seriously need help:
>
> And that wasn’t a bliss.
>
>
>
> You never showed concern,
>
> Cause you thought that was water that had flown,
>
> But it was a tear,
>
> And all I wanted to hear was don’t you worry dear.
>
>
>
> But you never said,
>
> And hence I cried.
>
> Shedding off those acids ,
>
> Till the time I died.

Outstanding and lovely poetry.....

Re: THE TEAR DROP

<1085e933-8041-4b0a-bed4-3479be583f59n@googlegroups.com>

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Subject: Re: THE TEAR DROP
From: will.doc...@gmail.com (Will Dockery)
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 by: Will Dockery - Wed, 11 Jan 2023 05:03 UTC

On Monday, January 9, 2023 at 5:50:05 PM UTC-5, Zod wrote:
> On Monday, January 9, 2023 at 11:04:51 AM UTC-5, sanal...@gmail.com wrote:
> >
> > THE TEAR DROP
> >
> > It was not just a drop of water,
> >
> > Rolling down my cheeks.
> >
> > It was all the pain and suffering,
> >
> > That made me weak.
> >
> >
> >
> > You saw that pain,
> >
> > You saw me weak,
> >
> > But you had a blindfold on ,
> >
> > While I squeaked...
> >
> >
> >
> > Those tears were acid,
> >
> > That burned my skin,
> >
> > And the skin became darker and darker ,
> >
> > While I screamed...
> >
> > You listen to it,
> >
> > But did nothing.
> >
> > And that right there,
> >
> > Was the saddest feeling.
> >
> > And the Deeper and deeper it got,
> >
> > It burned my heart a lot,
> >
> > Making me completely hollow,
> >
> > But there was nothing I forgot.
> >
> >
> >
> > You were shy I guess,
> >
> > Or you never thought of this,
> >
> > I seriously need help:
> >
> > And that wasn’t a bliss.
> >
> >
> >
> > You never showed concern,
> >
> > Cause you thought that was water that had flown,
> >
> > But it was a tear,
> >
> > And all I wanted to hear was don’t you worry dear.
> >
> >
> >
> > But you never said,
> >
> > And hence I cried.
> >
> > Shedding off those acids ,
> >
> > Till the time I died.
> Outstanding and lovely poetry.....

Yes, great to see a poet join the group.

Re: THE TEAR DROP

<9ac9d458-4aaa-4876-9064-afcee0258967n@googlegroups.com>

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Subject: Re: THE TEAR DROP
From: michaelm...@gmail.com (Michael Pendragon)
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 by: Michael Pendragon - Wed, 11 Jan 2023 15:47 UTC

On Monday, January 9, 2023 at 11:04:51 AM UTC-5, sanal...@gmail.com wrote:
> THE TEAR DROP
>
> It was not just a drop of water,
>
> Rolling down my cheeks.

*One* tear drop. "A drop of water" would run (not roll) down *one* cheek (not cheeks).

> It was all the pain and suffering,
>
> That made me weak.

Garmonbozia!!!

> You saw that pain,
>
> You saw me weak,
>
> But you had a blindfold on ,
>
> While I squeaked...

rhonda jane!!!

> Those tears were acid,
>
> That burned my skin,
>
> And the skin became darker and darker ,
>
> While I screamed...

Assuming that tears could be acid, they would burn the skin off -- not act as a tanning solution.

> You listen to it,
>
> But did nothing.
>
> And that right there,
>
> Was the saddest feeling.

"That right there" is an act (an overly padded act, but an act nevertheless), not a feeling.

> And the Deeper and deeper it got,

Is the first "Deeper" capitalized for a reason?

> It burned my heart a lot,

Try taking Pepto Bismal.

> Making me completely hollow,
>
> But there was nothing I forgot.

I suppose one can take consolation in the fact that one's memory remains sharp after having had her insides burned away by acid.

> You were shy I guess,
>
> Or you never thought of this,
>
> I seriously need help:
>
> And that wasn’t a bliss.

You certainly do need help insofar is composing poetry is concerned.

> You never showed concern,
>
> Cause you thought that was water that had flown,
>
> But it was a tear,
>
> And all I wanted to hear was don’t you worry dear.

Don't worry dear, your tear has flown
On salty wings whilst you bemoan
Your tragic plight. He broke your heart
And as the acid teardrops start
They burn away your cheek and eye
You cry "Bye-bye... I die! I die!"

> But you never said,
>
> And hence I cried.
>
> Shedding off those acids ,
>
> Till the time I died.

On a positive note, your poetry isn't quite so risible as that of our resident Donkey or his Stink.

Unfortunately, they seem to have taken a liking to you.

You have my deepest sympathies.

Re: THE TEAR DROP

<9b703fed-bfad-457a-9bd1-88278b3a02bfn@googlegroups.com>

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Subject: Re: THE TEAR DROP
From: vhugo...@gmail.com (Zod)
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 by: Zod - Thu, 12 Jan 2023 16:06 UTC

On Wednesday, January 11, 2023 at 12:03:50 AM UTC-5, Will Dockery wrote:
> On Monday, January 9, 2023 at 5:50:05 PM UTC-5, Zod wrote:
> > On Monday, January 9, 2023 at 11:04:51 AM UTC-5, sanal...@gmail.com wrote:
> > >
> > > THE TEAR DROP
> > >
> > > It was not just a drop of water,
> > >
> > > Rolling down my cheeks.
> > >
> > > It was all the pain and suffering,
> > >
> > > That made me weak.
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > You saw that pain,
> > >
> > > You saw me weak,
> > >
> > > But you had a blindfold on ,
> > >
> > > While I squeaked...
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > Those tears were acid,
> > >
> > > That burned my skin,
> > >
> > > And the skin became darker and darker ,
> > >
> > > While I screamed...
> > >
> > > You listen to it,
> > >
> > > But did nothing.
> > >
> > > And that right there,
> > >
> > > Was the saddest feeling.
> > >
> > > And the Deeper and deeper it got,
> > >
> > > It burned my heart a lot,
> > >
> > > Making me completely hollow,
> > >
> > > But there was nothing I forgot.
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > You were shy I guess,
> > >
> > > Or you never thought of this,
> > >
> > > I seriously need help:
> > >
> > > And that wasn’t a bliss.
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > You never showed concern,
> > >
> > > Cause you thought that was water that had flown,
> > >
> > > But it was a tear,
> > >
> > > And all I wanted to hear was don’t you worry dear.
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > But you never said,
> > >
> > > And hence I cried.
> > >
> > > Shedding off those acids ,
> > >
> > > Till the time I died.
> > Outstanding and lovely poetry.....
> Yes, great to see a poet join the group.

Indeed on second read and still a good poem....

Re: THE TEAR DROP

<677af226-62b2-43c1-bf35-d0ad23645babn@googlegroups.com>

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Subject: Re: THE TEAR DROP
From: michaelm...@gmail.com (Michael Pendragon)
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 by: Michael Pendragon - Thu, 12 Jan 2023 17:17 UTC

On Thursday, January 12, 2023 at 11:06:26 AM UTC-5, Zod wrote:
> On Wednesday, January 11, 2023 at 12:03:50 AM UTC-5, Will Dockery wrote:
> > On Monday, January 9, 2023 at 5:50:05 PM UTC-5, Zod wrote:
> > > On Monday, January 9, 2023 at 11:04:51 AM UTC-5, sanal...@gmail.com wrote:
> > > >
> > > > THE TEAR DROP
> > > >
> > > > It was not just a drop of water,
> > > >
> > > > Rolling down my cheeks.
> > > >
> > > > It was all the pain and suffering,
> > > >
> > > > That made me weak.
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > You saw that pain,
> > > >
> > > > You saw me weak,
> > > >
> > > > But you had a blindfold on ,
> > > >
> > > > While I squeaked...
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > Those tears were acid,
> > > >
> > > > That burned my skin,
> > > >
> > > > And the skin became darker and darker ,
> > > >
> > > > While I screamed...
> > > >
> > > > You listen to it,
> > > >
> > > > But did nothing.
> > > >
> > > > And that right there,
> > > >
> > > > Was the saddest feeling.
> > > >
> > > > And the Deeper and deeper it got,
> > > >
> > > > It burned my heart a lot,
> > > >
> > > > Making me completely hollow,
> > > >
> > > > But there was nothing I forgot.
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > You were shy I guess,
> > > >
> > > > Or you never thought of this,
> > > >
> > > > I seriously need help:
> > > >
> > > > And that wasn’t a bliss.
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > You never showed concern,
> > > >
> > > > Cause you thought that was water that had flown,
> > > >
> > > > But it was a tear,
> > > >
> > > > And all I wanted to hear was don’t you worry dear.
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > But you never said,
> > > >
> > > > And hence I cried.
> > > >
> > > > Shedding off those acids ,
> > > >
> > > > Till the time I died.
> > > Outstanding and lovely poetry.....
> > Yes, great to see a poet join the group.
> Indeed on second read and still a good poem....

No, Stink, it's really not.

Your inability to distinguish well-written poetry from poorly written poetry speaks volumes -- especially as it pertains to your adulation of the Donkey's gibberish and the baseless pride you take in your own.

Michael Pendragon
"No doubt about it, Edmund Spenser would fit in very well in the worlds of Terry Gilliam and Monty Python."
-- Will Dockery, demonstrating why he never made it through the 8th grade.

Re: THE TEAR DROP

<1030191bbfd7667178ee6174600c3f26@news.novabbs.com>

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https://www.novabbs.com/arts/article-flat.php?id=192714&group=alt.arts.poetry.comments#192714

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Date: Thu, 12 Jan 2023 18:10:04 +0000
Subject: Re: THE TEAR DROP
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 by: General-Zod - Thu, 12 Jan 2023 18:10 UTC

Michael Pendragon wrote:

> On Thursday, January 12, 2023 at 11:06:26 AM UTC-5, Zod wrote:
>> On Wednesday, January 11, 2023 at 12:03:50 AM UTC-5, Will Dockery wrote:
>> > On Monday, January 9, 2023 at 5:50:05 PM UTC-5, Zod wrote:
>> > > On Monday, January 9, 2023 at 11:04:51 AM UTC-5, sanal...@gmail.com wrote:
>> > > >
>> > > > THE TEAR DROP
>> > > >
>> > > > It was not just a drop of water,
>> > > >
>> > > > Rolling down my cheeks.
>> > > >
>> > > > It was all the pain and suffering,
>> > > >
>> > > > That made me weak.
>> > > >
>> > > >
>> > > >
>> > > > You saw that pain,
>> > > >
>> > > > You saw me weak,
>> > > >
>> > > > But you had a blindfold on ,
>> > > >
>> > > > While I squeaked...
>> > > >
>> > > >
>> > > >
>> > > > Those tears were acid,
>> > > >
>> > > > That burned my skin,
>> > > >
>> > > > And the skin became darker and darker ,
>> > > >
>> > > > While I screamed...
>> > > >
>> > > > You listen to it,
>> > > >
>> > > > But did nothing.
>> > > >
>> > > > And that right there,
>> > > >
>> > > > Was the saddest feeling.
>> > > >
>> > > > And the Deeper and deeper it got,
>> > > >
>> > > > It burned my heart a lot,
>> > > >
>> > > > Making me completely hollow,
>> > > >
>> > > > But there was nothing I forgot.
>> > > >
>> > > >
>> > > >
>> > > > You were shy I guess,
>> > > >
>> > > > Or you never thought of this,
>> > > >
>> > > > I seriously need help:
>> > > >
>> > > > And that wasn’t a bliss.
>> > > >
>> > > >
>> > > >
>> > > > You never showed concern,
>> > > >
>> > > > Cause you thought that was water that had flown,
>> > > >
>> > > > But it was a tear,
>> > > >
>> > > > And all I wanted to hear was don’t you worry dear.
>> > > >
>> > > >
>> > > >
>> > > > But you never said,
>> > > >
>> > > > And hence I cried.
>> > > >
>> > > > Shedding off those acids ,
>> > > >
>> > > > Till the time I died.
>> > > Outstanding and lovely poetry.....
>> > Yes, great to see a poet join the group.
>> Indeed on second read and still a good poem....

> No,xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Hush, Voodoo Boy, you smarmy little monkey... ha ha.....

Re: THE TEAR DROP

<233e40bc-6f0e-4579-b4ae-8708f106c6d7n@googlegroups.com>

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Subject: Re: THE TEAR DROP
From: will.doc...@gmail.com (Will Dockery)
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 by: Will Dockery - Mon, 23 Jan 2023 07:22 UTC

On Thursday, January 12, 2023 at 11:06:26 AM UTC-5, Zod wrote:
> On Wednesday, January 11, 2023 at 12:03:50 AM UTC-5, Will Dockery wrote:
> > On Monday, January 9, 2023 at 5:50:05 PM UTC-5, Zod wrote:
> > > On Monday, January 9, 2023 at 11:04:51 AM UTC-5, sanal...@gmail.com wrote:
> > > >
> > > > THE TEAR DROP
> > > >
> > > > It was not just a drop of water,
> > > >
> > > > Rolling down my cheeks.
> > > >
> > > > It was all the pain and suffering,
> > > >
> > > > That made me weak.
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > You saw that pain,
> > > >
> > > > You saw me weak,
> > > >
> > > > But you had a blindfold on ,
> > > >
> > > > While I squeaked...
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > Those tears were acid,
> > > >
> > > > That burned my skin,
> > > >
> > > > And the skin became darker and darker ,
> > > >
> > > > While I screamed...
> > > >
> > > > You listen to it,
> > > >
> > > > But did nothing.
> > > >
> > > > And that right there,
> > > >
> > > > Was the saddest feeling.
> > > >
> > > > And the Deeper and deeper it got,
> > > >
> > > > It burned my heart a lot,
> > > >
> > > > Making me completely hollow,
> > > >
> > > > But there was nothing I forgot.
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > You were shy I guess,
> > > >
> > > > Or you never thought of this,
> > > >
> > > > I seriously need help:
> > > >
> > > > And that wasn’t a bliss.
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > You never showed concern,
> > > >
> > > > Cause you thought that was water that had flown,
> > > >
> > > > But it was a tear,
> > > >
> > > > And all I wanted to hear was don’t you worry dear.
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > But you never said,
> > > >
> > > > And hence I cried.
> > > >
> > > > Shedding off those acids ,
> > > >
> > > > Till the time I died.
> > > Outstanding and lovely poetry.....
> > Yes, great to see a poet join the group.
> Indeed on second read and still a good poem....

Agreed.

🙂

1
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