novaBBS - alt.arts.poetry.comments - Re: "I Am a Tard," a poem by Will Dockery as told to NancyGene

"I Am a Tard," a poem by Will Dockery as told to NancyGene

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Subject: "I Am a Tard," a poem by Will Dockery as told to NancyGene
From: nancygen...@gmail.com (NancyGene)
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by: NancyGene - Thu, 12 Jan 2023 21:21 UTC

I Am a Tard
a poem by Will Dockery as told to NancyGene

It’s true, I am a lumbertard
I strut my wood and play the bard
I’m 300 pounds of jiggly lard
I poop and pee in my backyard
I dress in Goodwill’s worst discards
I’ve never had a credit card
My dad may be a Saint Bernard
First grade work was just too hard
Barfly said I’m avant garde
I’m your real Deep South retard

Re: "I Am a Tard," a poem by Will Dockery as told to NancyGene

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Subject: Re: "I Am a Tard," a poem by Will Dockery as told to NancyGene
From: blackpoo...@aol.com (Edward Rochester Esq.)
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by: Edward Rochester Esq - Thu, 12 Jan 2023 21:24 UTC

On Thursday, January 12, 2023 at 4:21:23 PM UTC-5, NancyGene wrote:
> I Am a Tard
> a poem by Will Dockery as told to NancyGene
>
> It’s true, I am a lumbertard
> I strut my wood and play the bard
> I’m 300 pounds of jiggly lard
> I poop and pee in my backyard
> I dress in Goodwill’s worst discards
> I’ve never had a credit card
> My dad may be a Saint Bernard
> First grade work was just too hard
> Barfly said I’m avant garde
> I’m your real Deep South retard

hola, NG..very nice.

Re: "I Am a Tard," a poem by Will Dockery as told to NancyGene

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Subject: Re: "I Am a Tard," a poem by Will Dockery as told to NancyGene
From: nancygen...@gmail.com (NancyGene)
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by: NancyGene - Thu, 12 Jan 2023 21:32 UTC

On Thursday, January 12, 2023 at 9:24:32 PM UTC, blackpo...@aol.com wrote:
> On Thursday, January 12, 2023 at 4:21:23 PM UTC-5, NancyGene wrote:
> > I Am a Tard
> > a poem by Will Dockery as told to NancyGene
> >
> > It’s true, I am a lumbertard
> > I strut my wood and play the bard
> > I’m 300 pounds of jiggly lard
> > I poop and pee in my backyard
> > I dress in Goodwill’s worst discards
> > I’ve never had a credit card
> > My dad may be a Saint Bernard
> > First grade work was just too hard
> > Barfly said I’m avant garde
> > I’m your real Deep South retard
> hola, NG..very nice.

Thank you. Dockery based the tale on the ancient letters between "Abeltard and Heloise." It may be sung to the "Wichita Lineman" music.

Re: "I Am a Tard," a poem by Will Dockery as told to NancyGene

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From: cuj...@petitmorte.net (Cujo DeSockpuppet)
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Subject: Re: "I Am a Tard," a poem by Will Dockery as told to NancyGene
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by: Cujo DeSockpuppet - Thu, 12 Jan 2023 21:42 UTC

NancyGene <nancygene.andjayme@gmail.com> wrote in news:34f70af6-017a-45a1-
9d7d-c19786429ef9n@googlegroups.com:

> I Am a Tard
> a poem by Will Dockery as told to NancyGene
>
> It’s true, I am a lumbertard
> I strut my wood and play the bard
> I’m 300 pounds of jiggly lard
> I poop and pee in my backyard
> I dress in Goodwill’s worst discards
> I’ve never had a credit card
> My dad may be a Saint Bernard
> First grade work was just too hard
> Barfly said I’m avant garde
> I’m your real Deep South retard
>

BRAVO!!! Is there a Broadway-style area or Arts District with a playhouse
in Columbus that could host a semi-musical[1] based on a working title of
"The Dockery Generations - Birth of a Talentless Douchebag"? Or are they
all talentless douchebags and the novelty wore off years ago?

[1] If Dreckweasel is in it, it can't have too much music in it, otherwise
all those white crackers would barf up their weekly dinner at the Waffle
House all over the folding metal chairs.

--
"If the viewer doesn't read the language the film is in, that's why
subtitles are provided." - Will Dockery being his usual incoherent self.

Re: "I Am a Tard," a poem by Will Dockery as told to NancyGene

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Subject: Re: "I Am a Tard," a poem by Will Dockery as told to NancyGene
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by: Michael Pendragon - Fri, 13 Jan 2023 00:05 UTC

An instant masterpiece!

Re: "I Am a Tard," a poem by Will Dockery as told to NancyGene

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Subject: Re: "I Am a Tard," a poem by Will Dockery as told to NancyGene
From: ashwurth...@gmail.com (Ash Wurthing)
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by: Ash Wurthing - Fri, 13 Jan 2023 13:57 UTC

On Thursday, January 12, 2023 at 7:05:54 PM UTC-5, michaelmalef...@gmail.com wrote:
> On Thursday, January 12, 2023 at 4:21:23 PM UTC-5, NancyGene wrote:
> > I Am a Tard
> > a poem by Will Dockery as told to NancyGene
> >
> > It’s true, I am a lumbertard
> > I strut my wood and play the bard
> > I’m 300 pounds of jiggly lard
> > I poop and pee in my backyard
> > I dress in Goodwill’s worst discards
> > I’ve never had a credit card
> > My dad may be a Saint Bernard
> > First grade work was just too hard
> > Barfly said I’m avant garde
> > I’m your real Deep South retard
> An instant masterpiece!

We now need a Lumberjack Song version of it...

Re: "I Am a Tard," a poem by Will Dockery as told to NancyGene

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Subject: Re: "I Am a Tard," a poem by Will Dockery as told to NancyGene
From: nancygen...@gmail.com (NancyGene)
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by: NancyGene - Fri, 13 Jan 2023 17:44 UTC

On Friday, January 13, 2023 at 1:57:36 PM UTC, Ash Wurthing wrote:
> On Thursday, January 12, 2023 at 7:05:54 PM UTC-5, michaelmalef...@gmail.com wrote:
> > On Thursday, January 12, 2023 at 4:21:23 PM UTC-5, NancyGene wrote:
> > > I Am a Tard
> > > a poem by Will Dockery as told to NancyGene
> > >
> > > It’s true, I am a lumbertard
> > > I strut my wood and play the bard
> > > I’m 300 pounds of jiggly lard
> > > I poop and pee in my backyard
> > > I dress in Goodwill’s worst discards
> > > I’ve never had a credit card
> > > My dad may be a Saint Bernard
> > > First grade work was just too hard
> > > Barfly said I’m avant garde
> > > I’m your real Deep South retard
> > An instant masterpiece!
> We now need a Lumberjack Song version of it...

That's a possibility--or a "Song of the Volga Boatmen" wearing a leotard, em dashing through the snow.

Art is a jealous mistress. -- Ralph Waldo Emerson

arts / alt.arts.poetry.comments / Re: "I Am a Tard," a poem by Will Dockery as told to NancyGene

Subject	Author
"I Am a Tard," a poem by Will Dockery as told to NancyGene	NancyGene
Re: "I Am a Tard," a poem by Will Dockery as told to NancyGene	Edward Rochester Esq.
Re: "I Am a Tard," a poem by Will Dockery as told to NancyGene	NancyGene
Re: "I Am a Tard," a poem by Will Dockery as told to NancyGene	Cujo DeSockpuppet
Re: "I Am a Tard," a poem by Will Dockery as told to NancyGene	Michael Pendragon
Re: "I Am a Tard," a poem by Will Dockery as told to NancyGene	Ash Wurthing
Re: "I Am a Tard," a poem by Will Dockery as told to NancyGene	NancyGene