aadaab dosto,

I have no solid excuse for my recent extended absence from Alup, just got busy with routine things in life and kept postponing visiting the group.

I am here today because if not here, then where else to post what I am feeling right now?

As most of you know already, the legendary poet and adeeb Amjad Islam Amjad sahib has been a close friend of mine for over two decades. His sudden passing last week has been a huge loss to the literary Urdu world, but it has also been a huge loss for me personally. I am still trying to accept the news that he is no longer with us physically. Actually, I am kind of numb right now, and don't really know what to say.

Amjad sahib was always very generous, kind and affectionate towards me. A perfect gentleman. I have so many memories of my meetings and conversations with him over the years. What truly stands out in my mind is the time my older son and I once spent with Amjad sahib in Delhi, he was in India for a mushaira and we happened to be there at the same time. We had an amazing visit to the Red Fort and Chandni Chowk, and had lunch in Jama masjid area. Amjad sahib sahib would always chuckle when he recalled that at the end of that day my young son had said "mom, as far as your poet friends go, he is actually not bad!"

Another day that was absolutely heavenly for me was spent at Irfan Sufi sahib's home in Chicago, with Amjad sahib and Anwar Masud sahib. Sufi sahib has been Amjad sahib's best friend for over sixty years. Our old Alup friend Zafar sahib was also with us that day. Amazing group of people.

I feel truly blessed that I was able to spend a day with Amjad sahib for one last time in the Fall of 2022, during his short visit to US. One regret that I will always have is that despite numerous invitations by Amjad sahib, I was never able to go to Lahore. However, my dad, who lives in Ludhiana, visited Lahore a few years ago. Dad always talks about how hospitable Amjad sahib was to him. Besides local sightseeing, they went to a ghazal program by Suraiya Khanum. My dad is a Baba Bulleh Shah disciple and his life long wish was to visit Baba ji's mazaar in Kasur, which Amjad sahib arranged for.

I am still coming to terms with the fact that I won't be able to pick up the phone and call Amjad sahib whenever I want, whether it is to ask for an Urdu word tallafuz or meaning, analysis of a she'r or just chat about nothing in particular. At the end of every conversation, I would always ask Amjad sahib to recite some of his asha'ar for me, and he always obliged. Sometimes I would say, wait, let me jot these down or else I may forget them. I have many scraps of paper lying around with such impromptu asha'ar written down. Maybe I should file them away properly.....

Amjad sahib's passing has created a vacuum for me which is impossible to fill. His knowledge, sense of humor and generosity of spirit is unparalleled, and unforgettable. I am trying to find peace in the fact that knowing him has been one of the true blessings of my life. And of course, in the bigger scheme of things, his legacy is immortal.

In November of 2022, while I was in Ludhiana visiting my dad, we talked to Amjad sahib on the phone. He said that if I can't come to Lahore, then maybe we can get together in the Kartarpur sahib gurdwara across the border. My dad and I were planning to do just that during my next visit, but it wasn't meant to be.

I will now close by posting two asha'ar.

During our conversation yesterday, Irfan Sufi sahib, who is mourning the loss of his best friend, quoted this she'r by Shahzad Ahmad:

ruKhsat huaa to aaNkh milaa kar nahiiN gayaa
vo kyuN gayaa hai yeh bhi bataa kar nahiiN gayaa

This morning, I also called the elderly poet Anwar Masud sahib in Islamabad.. He is Amjad sahib's samdhi as well as a dear friend, and quoted one of his own asha'ar:

Khaak meN DhuuNDte haiN sonaa log
ham ne sonaa supurd-e-Khaak kiyaa

Amjad sahib had sent me a picture of one of his last poems, titled 'zaruurat' written in Nov 2022, in his own handwriting and still unpublished. In a day or so, I will type it up in Roman and share in this thread.

My thanks to the Alup friends who reached out to me privately after hearing the news last Friday.

________Zoya

On Tuesday, 14 February 2023 at 05:10:49 UTC, Zoya wrote:
> aadaab dosto,
>
> I have no solid excuse for my recent extended absence from Alup, just got busy with routine things in life and kept postponing visiting the group.
>
> I am here today because if not here, then where else to post what I am feeling right now?
>
> As most of you know already, the legendary poet and adeeb Amjad Islam Amjad sahib has been a close friend of mine for over two decades. His sudden passing last week has been a huge loss to the literary Urdu world, but it has also been a huge loss for me personally. I am still trying to accept the news that he is no longer with us physically. Actually, I am kind of numb right now, and don't really know what to say.
>
> Amjad sahib was always very generous, kind and affectionate towards me. A perfect gentleman. I have so many memories of my meetings and conversations with him over the years. What truly stands out in my mind is the time my older son and I once spent with Amjad sahib in Delhi, he was in India for a mushaira and we happened to be there at the same time. We had an amazing visit to the Red Fort and Chandni Chowk, and had lunch in Jama masjid area. Amjad sahib sahib would always chuckle when he recalled that at the end of that day my young son had said "mom, as far as your poet friends go, he is actually not bad!"
>
> Another day that was absolutely heavenly for me was spent at Irfan Sufi sahib's home in Chicago, with Amjad sahib and Anwar Masud sahib. Sufi sahib has been Amjad sahib's best friend for over sixty years. Our old Alup friend Zafar sahib was also with us that day. Amazing group of people.
>
> I feel truly blessed that I was able to spend a day with Amjad sahib for one last time in the Fall of 2022, during his short visit to US. One regret that I will always have is that despite numerous invitations by Amjad sahib, I was never able to go to Lahore. However, my dad, who lives in Ludhiana, visited Lahore a few years ago. Dad always talks about how hospitable Amjad sahib was to him. Besides local sightseeing, they went to a ghazal program by Suraiya Khanum. My dad is a Baba Bulleh Shah disciple and his life long wish was to visit Baba ji's mazaar in Kasur, which Amjad sahib arranged for.
>
> I am still coming to terms with the fact that I won't be able to pick up the phone and call Amjad sahib whenever I want, whether it is to ask for an Urdu word tallafuz or meaning, analysis of a she'r or just chat about nothing in particular. At the end of every conversation, I would always ask Amjad sahib to recite some of his asha'ar for me, and he always obliged. Sometimes I would say, wait, let me jot these down or else I may forget them. I have many scraps of paper lying around with such impromptu asha'ar written down. Maybe I should file them away properly.....
>
> Amjad sahib's passing has created a vacuum for me which is impossible to fill. His knowledge, sense of humor and generosity of spirit is unparalleled, and unforgettable. I am trying to find peace in the fact that knowing him has been one of the true blessings of my life. And of course, in the bigger scheme of things, his legacy is immortal.
>
> In November of 2022, while I was in Ludhiana visiting my dad, we talked to Amjad sahib on the phone. He said that if I can't come to Lahore, then maybe we can get together in the Kartarpur sahib gurdwara across the border. My dad and I were planning to do just that during my next visit, but it wasn't meant to be.
>
> I will now close by posting two asha'ar.
>
> During our conversation yesterday, Irfan Sufi sahib, who is mourning the loss of his best friend, quoted this she'r by Shahzad Ahmad:
>
> ruKhsat huaa to aaNkh milaa kar nahiiN gayaa
> vo kyuN gayaa hai yeh bhi bataa kar nahiiN gayaa
>
> This morning, I also called the elderly poet Anwar Masud sahib in Islamabad. He is Amjad sahib's samdhi as well as a dear friend, and quoted one of his own asha'ar:
>
> Khaak meN DhuuNDte haiN sonaa log
> ham ne sonaa supurd-e-Khaak kiyaa
>
> Amjad sahib had sent me a picture of one of his last poems, titled 'zaruurat' written in Nov 2022, in his own handwriting and still unpublished. In a day or so, I will type it up in Roman and share in this thread.
>
> My thanks to the Alup friends who reached out to me privately after hearing the news last Friday.
>
> ________Zoya

Zoya SaaHibah aadaab 3arz hai.

It's extremely pleasing for me to see you back in ALUP today. I am really happy to learn that you are well. For various reasons I have not been able to contribute in any way. I know that Raj Kumar SaaHib has not been well, for sometime now. I hope with your presence he finds some energy to start participating once again.

Please include me in your loss of a dear friend, the Pakistani Urdu poet, Amjad Islam Amjad. To God we belong and to God we return.

Naseer

On Tuesday, February 14, 2023 at 2:12:24 PM UTC-6, Naseer wrote:

> Zoya SaaHibah aadaab 3arz hai.

aadaab Naseer sahib,

> It's extremely pleasing for me to see you back in ALUP today. I am really happy to learn that you are well.

Thank you for the kind words. Yes, I am generally doing well, at least as well as one can do in this almost-post-pandemic-still-crazy world.

> For various reasons I have not been able to contribute in any way.

I can echo that.

> I know that Raj Kumar SaaHib has not been well, for sometime now. I hope with your presence he finds some energy to start participating once again.

I really need to check in with RK sahib, long overdue. If my presence here will serve as an incentive to get him back, then I promise to participate on regular basis. He is absolutely one of my favorite persons in the whole wide world.

> Please include me in your loss of a dear friend, the Pakistani Urdu poet, Amjad Islam Amjad. To God we belong and to God we return.

Thank you so much, I realize that Amjad sahib's loss is felt by all Urdu lovers globally. I guess it is always harder for close family and friends, especially when we get such a news with no advance warning. But perhaps that is the best way to go, without any suffering at the end.

> Naseer

Regards,

_______Zoya

Friends,

With a heavy heart, I am posting an unpublished nazm by Amjad sahib. This is the last nazm that he had shared with me, written in his own handwriting in his journal, dated Nov 2022. After receiving it, I had replied jokingly that you know I read handwritten Urdu rather slowly, so I may need dad's help with this. Little did I know that it would be one of my last communications with Amjad sahib.

Here it is:
..
zaruurat

bahut masruuf ho shaayad
kisii kaa phone sun_ne baat karne kii ab fursat nahiiN tum ko

bataanaa sirf itnaa thaa
kabhii bhii jab mile fursat
mire is aaKhrii message ko paRhne kii
suno is ‘aaKhrii’ ke lafz se ghabraa nahiiN jaanaa
na tum is vehm meN paRnaa
tumhaare hijr meN shaayad k maiN ne Khud_kushii kar lii

bahut se kaam haiN aise jinheN karnaa zaruurii hai
bahut se log haiN aise
jinhe merii mujhe jin kii zaruurat hai

mujhe ma’aluum hai tum sirf apnii hii
zaruurat ke mutaabiq vaqt kii taqsiim karte ho
to shaayad main tumhaare
vaqt kii taqsiim meN kuchh duur paRtaa thaa

huaa kuchh yuuN
achaanak ek din mujh ko
ik aisaa hamsafar ik raaste meN mil gayaa yakdam
k jis kaa aainaa thaa maiN
jise merii zaruurat thii

Amjad Islam Amjad
November 2022
(unpublished)

saal 2004 meiN, ek yahoo group mein Amjad sahab ki 'kahaN aa ke rukne the raste' padhi thi, tab se wo ghazal ek tarah se meri guide ban gayi, Amjad sir ke ek anjaane shagird ki taraf se... Amjab Sahab ko alvida

On Wednesday, February 15, 2023 at 10:21:34 PM UTC+5:30, Zoya wrote:
> Friends,
>
> With a heavy heart, I am posting an unpublished nazm by Amjad sahib. This is the last nazm that he had shared with me, written in his own handwriting in his journal, dated Nov 2022. After receiving it, I had replied jokingly that you know I read handwritten Urdu rather slowly, so I may need dad's help with this. Little did I know that it would be one of my last communications with Amjad sahib.
>
> Here it is:
> .
> zaruurat
>
> bahut masruuf ho shaayad
> kisii kaa phone sun_ne baat karne kii ab fursat nahiiN tum ko
>
> bataanaa sirf itnaa thaa
> kabhii bhii jab mile fursat
> mire is aaKhrii message ko paRhne kii
> suno is ‘aaKhrii’ ke lafz se ghabraa nahiiN jaanaa
> na tum is vehm meN paRnaa
> tumhaare hijr meN shaayad k maiN ne Khud_kushii kar lii
>
> bahut se kaam haiN aise jinheN karnaa zaruurii hai
> bahut se log haiN aise
> jinhe merii mujhe jin kii zaruurat hai
>
> mujhe ma’aluum hai tum sirf apnii hii
> zaruurat ke mutaabiq vaqt kii taqsiim karte ho
> to shaayad main tumhaare
> vaqt kii taqsiim meN kuchh duur paRtaa thaa
>
> huaa kuchh yuuN
> achaanak ek din mujh ko
> ik aisaa hamsafar ik raaste meN mil gayaa yakdam
> k jis kaa aainaa thaa maiN
> jise merii zaruurat thii
>
> Amjad Islam Amjad
> November 2022
> (unpublished)

On Wednesday, February 15, 2023 at 10:59:24 PM UTC-6, Mohit wrote:

> saal 2004 meiN, ek yahoo group mein Amjad sahab ki 'kahaN aa ke rukne the raste' padhi thi, tab se wo ghazal ek tarah se meri guide ban gayi,

Mohit, Amjad sahib kii jis mash_huur-e-zamaana ghazal kaa aap ne zikr kiyaa hai, taqriiban har mehfil meN un se ise paRhne kii farmaaish kii jaatii thii. maiN aksar un se kehtii thii, 'Great advice Amjad sahib, magar is par amal karnaa bahut mushkil hai.' I hope you have found it easier to follow his advice!

is ghazal kaa sab se quoted she'r to yaqiinan yeh hai:

vo tire nasiib kii baarisheN kisii aur chhat pe baras gayiiN
dil-e-beKhabar mirii baat sun, use bhuul jaa, use bhuul jaa

lekin is ghazal kaa ek aur she'r hai:

maiN to gum thaa tere hii dhyaan meN, tirii aas tere gumaan meN
saba keh gayii mire kaan meN, use bhuul jaa, use bhuul jaa

On hearing this, I would always ask him, 'Amjad sahib, yeh Saba kaun hai', and he would just smile. :)

> Amjad sir ke ek anjaane shagird ki taraf se... Amjab Sahab ko alvida

I wish you had told me sooner about this ghazal being your guide, I would have conveyed the message to Amjad sahib and it would have made him happy. Actually, he was a sort of philosopher guide in person also.

Thanks for responding in this thread, I appreciate it.

_______Zoya