A friend told me that I should teach nice guys how to pick up women in a spiritual way. Having been with some beautiful and wonderful women, I have some ideas on the subject.

What you really want to do is make the woman feel cherished. Many women put in a lot of effort into being the best they can be, and they want to be appreciated for it. If you put a vast effort into being your best then you will want to be valued for it; and it is this angle that needs to be taken.

Now physically beautiful women know that they are physically beautiful, and telling them that they are beautiful does absolutely nothing for them. They do however want to be valued as people. If you say such things as “you are a beautiful person” or “you are a beautiful soul,” then that means a lot more to them, and they are more likely to respond positively.

I had a teacher who had a very bad idea on the subject. He would try to pick up women by telling them that they are the proof that God has a sense of humor. Of course that didn’t work. What he should have said was, “You are the proof that God has good taste.” This, once again, would see the woman validated for the work she has been doing to be her best; and she would be more likely to respond positively.

What I’ve seen again and again in women is that they want to be appreciated. Some people call it vanity, but I do not think so. If you put in vast effort into being your best, then you will want to be appreciated for it, and there is nothing vain or narcissistic about it. It comes with the structure. You demand a lot of yourself, you want people to see it and value it.

The task is therefore to supply this appreciation. Make the woman feel cherished. Make the woman feel loved. Make her feel like her efforts matter. And find in your life the best women out there, whether or not you are the best man.