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arts / alt.arts.poetry.comments / Sweet Sixteen

SubjectAuthor
* Sweet SixteenEdward Rochester Esq.
`* Re: Sweet SixteenMichael Pendragon
 `* Re: Sweet SixteenEdward Rochester Esq.
  `- Re: Sweet SixteenNancyGene

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Sweet Sixteen

<709b5845-5f89-4fe1-82e4-6bdf42031c5cn@googlegroups.com>

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Subject: Sweet Sixteen
From: blackpoo...@aol.com (Edward Rochester Esq.)
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 by: Edward Rochester Esq - Sun, 26 Mar 2023 15:06 UTC

Sweet Sixteen

Her jaw was broken,
the hymen was broken
and the lungs still held
the smoke
from extinguished,
birthday candles.

AP

Re: Sweet Sixteen

<8d48e6b5-00e2-4043-a862-2c1eced2d1b3n@googlegroups.com>

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Subject: Re: Sweet Sixteen
From: michaelm...@gmail.com (Michael Pendragon)
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 by: Michael Pendragon - Mon, 27 Mar 2023 00:28 UTC

On Sunday, March 26, 2023 at 11:06:03 AM UTC-4, Edward Rochester Esq. wrote:
> Sweet Sixteen
>
> Her jaw was broken,
> the hymen was broken
> and the lungs still held
> the smoke
> from extinguished,
> birthday candles.
>
> AP

Suggest replacing "extinguished" with "blown out." Just a personal preference.

Hm... who doe this poem remind me of?

Re: Sweet Sixteen

<7e59a0db-ae72-409e-87a5-8978ade8901dn@googlegroups.com>

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Subject: Re: Sweet Sixteen
From: blackpoo...@aol.com (Edward Rochester Esq.)
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 by: Edward Rochester Esq - Mon, 27 Mar 2023 01:49 UTC

On Sunday, March 26, 2023 at 8:28:44 PM UTC-4, Michael Pendragon wrote:
> On Sunday, March 26, 2023 at 11:06:03 AM UTC-4, Edward Rochester Esq. wrote:
> > Sweet Sixteen
> >
> > Her jaw was broken,
> > the hymen was broken
> > and the lungs still held
> > the smoke
> > from extinguished,
> > birthday candles.
> >
> > AP
> Suggest replacing "extinguished" with "blown out." Just a personal preference.
>
> Hm... who doe this poem remind me of?

It shall be "from the blown out" in the next version. With,thanks.

Whoever you think it is, it is.
J

Re: Sweet Sixteen

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Subject: Re: Sweet Sixteen
From: nancygen...@gmail.com (NancyGene)
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 by: NancyGene - Mon, 27 Mar 2023 11:02 UTC

On Monday, March 27, 2023 at 1:49:55 AM UTC, Edward Rochester Esq. wrote:
> On Sunday, March 26, 2023 at 8:28:44 PM UTC-4, Michael Pendragon wrote:
> > On Sunday, March 26, 2023 at 11:06:03 AM UTC-4, Edward Rochester Esq. wrote:
> > > Sweet Sixteen
> > >
> > > Her jaw was broken,
> > > the hymen was broken
> > > and the lungs still held
> > > the smoke
> > > from extinguished,
> > > birthday candles.
> > >
> > > AP
> > Suggest replacing "extinguished" with "blown out." Just a personal preference.
> >
> > Hm... who doe this poem remind me of?
> It shall be "from the blown out" in the next version. With,thanks.
>
> Whoever you think it is, it is.
> J
"Blow out the candles
Make your wish come true"

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