On Mulberry Drive

On Mulberry Drive
walking in the Spring rain.
Except for signs of a driveway
nothing else remains.
They took it all away
the house and the hill.
That spot we shared in '78
all the love and thrills.

Oblivion is coming
it's written in the stone.
It really starts out
on the day that you're born.
Live every second
dance what you've captured.
Shadowville Mythos...
is on the last chapter.

On Mulberry Drive
on another mystery play.
Almost fifty years ago
still seems like yesterday.
That long driveway
now goes into space.
We thought we'd live forever
not dead and disgraced.

Darkness is falling
archived in a book.
It really gets smaller
the closer you look.
Breathe deeply my darling
smoke them if you have to.
Shadowville Mythos...
is on the last chapter.

On Mulberry Drive
now the hail's coming down.
Taps on the umbrella
as I'm walking around.
I remember that fireplace
I remember her smile.
I remember Edgewood Park
where we'd laugh for a while.

In the living room
I heard a ghost moan.
As I talked with the Cavalier
on a land line telephone.
Relive every second
these memories you've captured.
Shadowville Mythos...
is on the last chapter.

-Will Dockery (3-27-23)

----
From the Shadowville Mythos poetry blog:
https://shadowville-mythos.blogspot.com/2023/03/on-mulberry-drive.html?m=0

> On Mulberry Drive
>
> On Mulberry Drive
> walking in the Spring rain.
> Except for signs of a driveway
> nothing else remains.
> They took it all away
> the house and the hill.
> That spot we shared in '78
> all the love and thrills.
>
> Oblivion is coming
> it's written in the stone.
> It really starts out
> on the day that you're born.
> Live every second
> dance what you've captured.
> Shadowville Mythos...
> is on the last chapter.
>
> On Mulberry Drive
> on another mystery play.
> Almost fifty years ago
> still seems like yesterday.
> That long driveway
> now goes into space.
> We thought we'd live forever
> not dead and disgraced.
>
> Darkness is falling
> archived in a book.
> It really gets smaller
> the closer you look.
> Breathe deeply my darling
> smoke them if you have to.
> Shadowville Mythos...
> is on the last chapter.
>
> On Mulberry Drive
> now the hail's coming down.
> Taps on the umbrella
> as I'm walking around.
> I remember that fireplace
> I remember her smile.
> I remember Edgewood Park
> where we'd laugh for a while.
>
> In the living room
> I heard a ghost moan.
> As I talked with the Cavalier
> on a land line telephone.
> Relive every second
> these memories you've captured.
> Shadowville Mythos...
> is on the last chapter.
>
> -Will Dockery (3-27-23)
>
> ----
> From the Shadowville Mythos poetry blog:
> https://shadowville-mythos.blogspot.com/2023/03/on-mulberry-drive.html?m=0

(By request of Senetto)

On Wednesday, June 14, 2023 at 4:50:17 PM UTC-4, W-Dockery wrote:
> On Mulberry Drive
>
> On Mulberry Drive
> walking in the Spring rain. .....................

May I?

We had walked on Mulberry Drive,
in the spring rain,
except for signs of a driveway,
nothing else had remained

They took it all away,
the house and the hill --
that spot we shared in '78,
with all that love and thrills.
Oblivion was coming
and written in stone,
It started out
the very day you were born.

Live every second
dance with what you've captured --
Shadowville Mythos
just might be the last chapter.
On Mulberry Drive
another mystery play began.

Almost fifty years ago,
still seems like yesterday,
that long driveway
now goes into empty space.

We thought we'd live forever
not dead and disgraced.

Darkness is now falling
archived in our book,
It really gets smaller
the closer you look.

Breathe deeply my darling
smoke them if you must --
Shadowville Mythos
just might be the last chapter.

Now on Mulberry Drive
the hail's coming down,
it taps on my umbrella
as I walk around.

I remember that fireplace
as well as your smile.
I remember Edgewood Park,
where we'd laugh for a while.

In the living room
I once heard a ghost moan
as I talked with the Cavalier
on an old style telephone.
Relive every second
these memories you've captured.
Shadowville Mythos
just might be the last chapter.
>
> -Will Dockery (3-27-23)
>
> ----
> From the Shadowville Mythos poetry blog:
> https://shadowville-mythos.blogspot.com/2023/03/on-mulberry-drive.html?m=0

On Wednesday, June 14, 2023 at 6:48:46 PM UTC-4, Edward Rochester Esq. wrote:
> On Wednesday, June 14, 2023 at 4:50:17 PM UTC-4, Will Dockery wrote:
>
> > On Mulberry Drive
> >
> > On Mulberry Drive
> > walking in the Spring rain. .....................
>
> May I?
>
> We had walked on Mulberry Drive,
> in the spring rain,
> except for signs of a driveway,
> nothing else had remained
>
> They took it all away,
> the house and the hill --
> that spot we shared in '78,
> with all that love and thrills.
>
> Oblivion was coming
> and written in stone,
> It started out
> the very day you were born.
>
> Live every second
> dance with what you've captured --
> Shadowville Mythos
> just might be the last chapter.
>
> On Mulberry Drive
> another mystery play began.
>
> Almost fifty years ago,
> still seems like yesterday,
> that long driveway
> now goes into empty space.
> We thought we'd live forever
> not dead and disgraced.
> Darkness is now falling
> archived in our book,
> It really gets smaller
> the closer you look.
>
> Breathe deeply my darling
> smoke them if you must --
> Shadowville Mythos
> just might be the last chapter.
>
> Now on Mulberry Drive
> the hail's coming down,
> it taps on my umbrella
> as I walk around.
>
> I remember that fireplace
> as well as your smile.
> I remember Edgewood Park,
> where we'd laugh for a while.
>
> In the living room
> I once heard a ghost moan
> as I talked with the Cavalier
> on an old style telephone.
> Relive every second
> these memories you've captured.
> Shadowville Mythos
> just might be the last chapter.
> >
> > -Will Dockery (3-27-23)

Thanks for the feedback, Senetto, I'm on the road now, trying to dodge the monsoons, I'll read and comment when I get back to the office tonight.

> >
> > ----
> > From the Shadowville Mythos poetry blog:
> > https://shadowville-mythos.blogspot.com/2023/03/on-mulberry-drive.html?m=0

....

Edward Rochester Esq. wrote:

> On Wednesday, June 14, 2023 at 4:50:17 PM UTC-4, Will Dockery wrote:
>
>> On Mulberry Drive
>>
>> On Mulberry Drive
>> walking in the Spring rain. .....................

> May I?

> We had walked on Mulberry Drive,
> in the spring rain,
> except for signs of a driveway,
> nothing else had remained

> They took it all away,
> the house and the hill --
> that spot we shared in '78,
> with all that love and thrills.

> Oblivion was coming
> and written in stone,
> It started out
> the very day you were born.

> Live every second
> dance with what you've captured --
> Shadowville Mythos
> just might be the last chapter.

> On Mulberry Drive
> another mystery play began.

> Almost fifty years ago,
> still seems like yesterday,
> that long driveway
> now goes into empty space.

> We thought we'd live forever
> not dead and disgraced.

> Darkness is now falling
> archived in our book,
> It really gets smaller
> the closer you look.

> Breathe deeply my darling
> smoke them if you must --
> Shadowville Mythos
> just might be the last chapter.

> Now on Mulberry Drive
> the hail's coming down,
> it taps on my umbrella
> as I walk around.

> I remember that fireplace
> as well as your smile.
> I remember Edgewood Park,
> where we'd laugh for a while.

> In the living room
> I once heard a ghost moan
> as I talked with the Cavalier
> on an old style telephone.

> Relive every second
> these memories you've captured.
> Shadowville Mythos
> just might be the last chapter.
>>
>> -Will Dockery (3-27-23)
>>
>> ----
>> From the Shadowville Mythos poetry blog:
>> https://shadowville-mythos.blogspot.com/2023/03/on-mulberry-drive.html?m=0

Again, very interesting post, still want to go over it in more depth.

Thanks again, Senetto.

Edward Rochester Esq. wrote:

> On Wednesday, June 14, 2023 at 4:50:17 PM UTC-4, Will Dockery wrote:
..
>> On Mulberry Drive
>>
>> On Mulberry Drive
>> walking in the Spring rain. .....................

> May I?

Again, thanks for the feedback, Senetto.

> We had walked on Mulberry Drive,
> in the spring rain,
> except for signs of a driveway,
> nothing else had remained

> They took it all away,
> the house and the hill --
> that spot we shared in '78,
> with all that love and thrills.

> Oblivion was coming
> and written in stone,
> It started out
> the very day you were born.

> Live every second
> dance with what you've captured --
> Shadowville Mythos
> just might be the last chapter.

> On Mulberry Drive
> another mystery play began.

> Almost fifty years ago,
> still seems like yesterday,
> that long driveway
> now goes into empty space.

> We thought we'd live forever
> not dead and disgraced.

> Darkness is now falling
> archived in our book,
> It really gets smaller
> the closer you look.

> Breathe deeply my darling
> smoke them if you must --
> Shadowville Mythos
> just might be the last chapter.

> Now on Mulberry Drive
> the hail's coming down,
> it taps on my umbrella
> as I walk around.

> I remember that fireplace
> as well as your smile.
> I remember Edgewood Park,
> where we'd laugh for a while.

> In the living room
> I once heard a ghost moan
> as I talked with the Cavalier
> on an old style telephone.

> Relive every second
> these memories you've captured.
> Shadowville Mythos
> just might be the last chapter.
>>
>> -Will Dockery (3-27-23)
>>
>> ----
>> From the Shadowville Mythos poetry blog:
>> https://shadowville-mythos.blogspot.com/2023/03/on-mulberry-drive.html?m=0

...

Edward Rochester Esq. wrote:

> On Wednesday, June 14, 2023 at 4:50:17 PM UTC-4, Will Dockery wrote:
>
>> On Mulberry Drive
>>
>> On Mulberry Drive
>> walking in the Spring rain. .....................

> May I?

Interesting rewrite, but I think my original version works better:

> On Mulberry Drive

> On Mulberry Drive
> walking in the Spring rain.
> Except for signs of a driveway
> nothing else remains.
> They took it all away
> the house and the hill.
> That spot we shared in '78
> all the love and thrills.

> Oblivion is coming
> it's written in the stone.
> It really starts out
> on the day that you're born.
> Live every second
> dance what you've captured.
> Shadowville Mythos...
> is on the last chapter.

> On Mulberry Drive
> on another mystery play.
> Almost fifty years ago
> still seems like yesterday.
> That long driveway
> now goes into space.
> We thought we'd live forever
> not dead and disgraced.

> Darkness is falling
> archived in a book.
> It really gets smaller
> the closer you look.
> Breathe deeply my darling
> smoke them if you have to.
> Shadowville Mythos...
> is on the last chapter.

> On Mulberry Drive
> now the hail's coming down.
> Taps on the umbrella
> as I'm walking around.
> I remember that fireplace
> I remember her smile.
> I remember Edgewood Park
> where we'd laugh for a while.

> In the living room
> I heard a ghost moan.
> As I talked with the Cavalier
> on a land line telephone.
> Relive every second
> these memories you've captured.
> Shadowville Mythos...
> is on the last chapter.

> -Will Dockery (3-27-23)

> ----
> From the Shadowville Mythos poetry blog:
> https://shadowville-mythos.blogspot.com/2023/03/on-mulberry-drive.html?m=0

***

On Wednesday, June 14, 2023 at 4:50:17 PM UTC-4, W-Dockery wrote:
> On Mulberry Drive
>
> On Mulberry Drive
> walking in the Spring rain.

This is not a sentence. It lacks both a subject and a verb.

A sentence would be: "I was on Mulberry Drive, walking in the Spring rain."

A better sentence would be: "I was walking on Mulberry Drive in the Spring rain," or "I was walking in the Spring rain, on Mulberry Drive."

> Except for signs of a driveway
> nothing else remains.

Nothing remains of *what*???

Contextually, this sentence would be directly referring to the previous (non-)sentence. This would mean that the street named "Mulberry Drive" no longer exists.

You need to indicate that you're writing about a house *before* you allude to.

> They took it all away
> the house and the hill.

This needs some stronger punctuation at the end of the line break.

You should switch quasi-sentences 2 and 3 around:

They took it all away,
the house and the hill.
Except for signs of a driveway
nothing else remains.

Of course, part of the reason for your fragmented, inverted semi-sentences is that you've attempted to employ a loosely metered form of near-rhyme.

Don't.

You are not up to writing in rhyme.

In order to write rhymed sentences, you first need to know *how* to write sentences.

And nothing sounds worse than a poorly written poem that's set in rhyme.

One of the reasons free verse has become the predominant form of poetry is that it's extremely difficult to screw it up. As long as one can write a sentence, one can chop it up into an acceptable example of free verse.

> That spot we shared in '78
> all the love and thrills.

This is not a sentence as it lacks a verb. The spot you shared did what? Or, more probably, what was done to the spot you shared?

That spot we shared in '78
is gone with the love and thrills.

> Oblivion is coming
> it's written in the stone.

Death may travel fast, but oblivion would appear to be stationary.

Oblivion is not an *event* like death; it is a state of being (or, more correctly, of not being).

An apocalypse might be coming (although the demolition of an old apartment building doesn't justify the comparison), but oblivion is not.

Equally bad is your claim that "it's written in the stone."

People say that something is "written in stone," which is how you probably latched onto the idea without fully understand what it means. This is a reference to the stone tablets on which God wrote the Ten Commandments. To say that something is "written in stone" means that it cannot be changed.

As in your poem, it is often used in conjunction with an ironclad prediction of the future.

However, people do not say that something is "written in the stone."

First off, if it were written in the stone, it would necessarily have to be *inside* of the stone.
Second, since we cannot write anything inside of a stone, we do the next best thing: we write *on* it.

You can, therefore, you can either say that something is "written in stone" or that it is "written on the stone." You cannot say that it is "written in the stone" (unless you're Balki Bartokomous or his cousin, Ilya Shambat)..

> It really starts out
> on the day that you're born.

What really starts out on the day that you're born?

Oblivion?

Actually, the exact opposite happens.

I think you mean that the moments of your life start ticking away the moment that you're born -- that isn't even close to what you've written.

> Live every second
> dance what you've captured.

What does this even mean?

If you catch a squirrel for dinner, you should immediately break into a squirrel dance?

> Shadowville Mythos...
> is on the last chapter.

I thought that "Shadowville Mythos" was supposed to mean the mythic life of Will Donkey and friends in the underbelly of Phenix City.

And how is another on the last chapter?

Do you mean that your collected poetry is about the end of life? I beg to differ -- it seems mostly about the drugs and skank hos that you've done.

If not, we say that something is *in* the final chapter.

> On Mulberry Drive
> on another mystery play.

This is not a sentence as it lacks a verb.

On Mulberry Drive there was
another mystery play.

*I have no idea what the second "on" is doing there.

> Almost fifty years ago
> still seems like yesterday.

You're rambling again. Yes, we all remember the past as if it just happened... but what has this common observation got to do with the Mulberry Drive "mystery play"?

Do you know what a mystery play is?

They're a far cry from Agatha Christie:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mystery_play

> That long driveway
> now goes into space.

Not really. It's still on the ground.

Try rewording this.

> We thought we'd live forever
> not dead and disgraced.

You're living dead and disgraced?

Seriously? Because that's what you've actually written.

> Darkness is falling
> archived in a book.

You can't archive something until *after* it has taken place. If darkness is *in the act of falling,* you have to wait until it has fallen in order to archive it.

> It really gets smaller
> the closer you look.

What does? Darkness?

Darkness seems like it would be limitless.

Do you understand that contextually, "it" refers to the subject that immediately preceded it?

> Breathe deeply my darling
> smoke them if you have to.

Let's throw in a few clichés to pad this out.

> Shadowville Mythos...
> is on the last chapter.

See above.
> On Mulberry Drive
> now the hail's coming down.

Awkwardly inverted, but I've got a bus to catch.

> Taps on the umbrella
> as I'm walking around.
> I remember that fireplace
> I remember her smile.
> I remember Edgewood Park
> where we'd laugh for a while.
>
> In the living room
> I heard a ghost moan.
> As I talked with the Cavalier
> on a land line telephone.
> Relive every second
> these memories you've captured.
> Shadowville Mythos...
> is on the last chapter.
>
> -Will Dockery (3-27-23)
>
> ----
> From the Shadowville Mythos poetry blog:
> https://shadowville-mythos.blogspot.com/2023/03/on-mulberry-drive.html?m=0

>> On Mulberry Drive
>>
>> On Mulberry Drive
>> walking in the Spring rain.
>> Except for signs of a driveway
>> nothing else remains.
>> They took it all away
>> the house and the hill.
>> That spot we shared in '78
>> all the love and thrills.
>>
>> Oblivion is coming
>> it's written in the stone.
>> It really starts out
>> on the day that you're born.
>> Live every second
>> dance what you've captured.
>> Shadowville Mythos...
>> is on the last chapter.
>>
>> On Mulberry Drive
>> on another mystery play.
>> Almost fifty years ago
>> still seems like yesterday.
>> That long driveway
>> now goes into space.
>> We thought we'd live forever
>> not dead and disgraced.
>>
>> Darkness is falling
>> archived in a book.
>> It really gets smaller
>> the closer you look.
>> Breathe deeply my darling
>> smoke them if you have to.
>> Shadowville Mythos...
>> is on the last chapter.
>>
>> On Mulberry Drive
>> now the hail's coming down.
>> Taps on the umbrella
>> as I'm walking around.
>> I remember that fireplace
>> I remember her smile.
>> I remember Edgewood Park
>> where we'd laugh for a while.
>>
>> In the living room
>> I heard a ghost moan.
>> As I talked with the Cavalier
>> on a land line telephone.
>> Relive every second
>> these memories you've captured.
>> Shadowville Mythos...
>> is on the last chapter.
>>
>> -Will Dockery (3-27-23)
>>
>> ----
>> From the Shadowville Mythos poetry blog:
>> https://shadowville-mythos.blogspot.com/2023/03/on-mulberry-drive.html?m=0

Thanks for reading and commenting, Pendragon, I'm on the road right now, so I'll read and respond later, when I return to the office.

🙂

On Friday, June 16, 2023 at 3:54:57 PM UTC-4, Michael Pendragon wrote:
> On Wednesday, June 14, 2023 at 4:50:17 PM UTC-4, W-Dockery wrote:
> > On Mulberry Drive
> >
> > On Mulberry Drive
> > walking in the Spring rain.
> This is not a sentence. It lacks both a subject and a verb.
>
> A sentence would be: "I was on Mulberry Drive, walking in the Spring rain.."
>
> A better sentence would be: "I was walking on Mulberry Drive in the Spring rain," or "I was walking in the Spring rain, on Mulberry Drive."
> > Except for signs of a driveway
> > nothing else remains.
> Nothing remains of *what*???
>
> Contextually, this sentence would be directly referring to the previous (non-)sentence. This would mean that the street named "Mulberry Drive" no longer exists.
>
> You need to indicate that you're writing about a house *before* you allude to.
> > They took it all away
> > the house and the hill.
> This needs some stronger punctuation at the end of the line break.
>
> You should switch quasi-sentences 2 and 3 around:
> They took it all away,
> the house and the hill.
> Except for signs of a driveway
> nothing else remains.
> Of course, part of the reason for your fragmented, inverted semi-sentences is that you've attempted to employ a loosely metered form of near-rhyme.
>
> Don't.
>
> You are not up to writing in rhyme.
>
> In order to write rhymed sentences, you first need to know *how* to write sentences.
>
> And nothing sounds worse than a poorly written poem that's set in rhyme.
>
> One of the reasons free verse has become the predominant form of poetry is that it's extremely difficult to screw it up. As long as one can write a sentence, one can chop it up into an acceptable example of free verse.
> > That spot we shared in '78
> > all the love and thrills.
> This is not a sentence as it lacks a verb. The spot you shared did what? Or, more probably, what was done to the spot you shared?
> That spot we shared in '78
> is gone with the love and thrills.
> > Oblivion is coming
> > it's written in the stone.
> Death may travel fast, but oblivion would appear to be stationary.
>
> Oblivion is not an *event* like death; it is a state of being (or, more correctly, of not being).
>
> An apocalypse might be coming (although the demolition of an old apartment building doesn't justify the comparison), but oblivion is not.
>
> Equally bad is your claim that "it's written in the stone."
>
> People say that something is "written in stone," which is how you probably latched onto the idea without fully understand what it means. This is a reference to the stone tablets on which God wrote the Ten Commandments. To say that something is "written in stone" means that it cannot be changed.
>
> As in your poem, it is often used in conjunction with an ironclad prediction of the future.
>
> However, people do not say that something is "written in the stone."
>
> First off, if it were written in the stone, it would necessarily have to be *inside* of the stone.
> Second, since we cannot write anything inside of a stone, we do the next best thing: we write *on* it.
>
> You can, therefore, you can either say that something is "written in stone" or that it is "written on the stone." You cannot say that it is "written in the stone" (unless you're Balki Bartokomous or his cousin, Ilya Shambat).
> > It really starts out
> > on the day that you're born.
> What really starts out on the day that you're born?
>
> Oblivion?
>
> Actually, the exact opposite happens.
>
> I think you mean that the moments of your life start ticking away the moment that you're born -- that isn't even close to what you've written.
> > Live every second
> > dance what you've captured.
> What does this even mean?
>
> If you catch a squirrel for dinner, you should immediately break into a squirrel dance?
> > Shadowville Mythos...
> > is on the last chapter.
> I thought that "Shadowville Mythos" was supposed to mean the mythic life of Will Donkey and friends in the underbelly of Phenix City.
>
> And how is another on the last chapter?
>
> Do you mean that your collected poetry is about the end of life? I beg to differ -- it seems mostly about the drugs and skank hos that you've done.
>
> If not, we say that something is *in* the final chapter.
> > On Mulberry Drive
> > on another mystery play.
> This is not a sentence as it lacks a verb.
>
> On Mulberry Drive there was
> another mystery play.
>
> *I have no idea what the second "on" is doing there.
> > Almost fifty years ago
> > still seems like yesterday.
> You're rambling again. Yes, we all remember the past as if it just happened... but what has this common observation got to do with the Mulberry Drive "mystery play"?
>
> Do you know what a mystery play is?
>
> They're a far cry from Agatha Christie:
>
> https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mystery_play
> > That long driveway
> > now goes into space.
> Not really. It's still on the ground.
>
> Try rewording this.
> > We thought we'd live forever
> > not dead and disgraced.
> You're living dead and disgraced?
>
> Seriously? Because that's what you've actually written.
> > Darkness is falling
> > archived in a book.
> You can't archive something until *after* it has taken place. If darkness is *in the act of falling,* you have to wait until it has fallen in order to archive it.
> > It really gets smaller
> > the closer you look.
> What does? Darkness?
>
> Darkness seems like it would be limitless.
>
> Do you understand that contextually, "it" refers to the subject that immediately preceded it?
> > Breathe deeply my darling
> > smoke them if you have to.
> Let's throw in a few clichés to pad this out.
> > Shadowville Mythos...
> > is on the last chapter.
> See above.
> > On Mulberry Drive
> > now the hail's coming down.
> Awkwardly inverted, but I've got a bus to catch.
> > Taps on the umbrella
> > as I'm walking around.

I'm guessing that you mean the hail taps on your umbrella. If you don't want to repeat "the hail" again, you could at least make use of an "it."

> > I remember that fireplace
> > I remember her smile.
> > I remember Edgewood Park
> > where we'd laugh for a while.

The above is an example of what "sing-song" poetry actually means.

> > In the living room
> > I heard a ghost moan.

Forget the awful rhymes and switch this sentence with the one about Edgewood Park. The memories inside the house should be kept together -- as opposed to jumping back and forth between the park and the house.

> > As I talked with the Cavalier
> > on a land line telephone.

Since no one but you has any idea who the "Cavalier" is, you should cut this not-quite-a-sentence altogether.

> > Relive every second
> > these memories you've captured.

Huh? You're doing a commercial for Kodak?

Seriously, this line is out of place. I realize that the speaker is again addressing an unspecified reader and telling them to "seize the day" (how original of you), but it just feels randomly tacked on.

> > Shadowville Mythos...
> > is on the last chapter.

This "refrain" sounds even more stupid here. WTF is it supposed to mean?

> > -Will Dockery (3-27-23)
> >
> > ----
> > From the Shadowville Mythos poetry blog:
> > https://shadowville-mythos.blogspot.com/2023/03/on-mulberry-drive.html?m=0

> >> On Mulberry Drive
> >>
> >> On Mulberry Drive
> >> walking in the Spring rain.
> >> Except for signs of a driveway
> >> nothing else remains.
> >> They took it all away
> >> the house and the hill.
> >> That spot we shared in '78
> >> all the love and thrills.
> >>
> >> Oblivion is coming
> >> it's written in the stone.
> >> It really starts out
> >> on the day that you're born.
> >> Live every second
> >> dance what you've captured.
> >> Shadowville Mythos...
> >> is on the last chapter.
> >>
> >> On Mulberry Drive
> >> on another mystery play.
> >> Almost fifty years ago
> >> still seems like yesterday.
> >> That long driveway
> >> now goes into space.
> >> We thought we'd live forever
> >> not dead and disgraced.
> >>
> >> Darkness is falling
> >> archived in a book.
> >> It really gets smaller
> >> the closer you look.
> >> Breathe deeply my darling
> >> smoke them if you have to.
> >> Shadowville Mythos...
> >> is on the last chapter.
> >>
> >> On Mulberry Drive
> >> now the hail's coming down.
> >> Taps on the umbrella
> >> as I'm walking around.
> >> I remember that fireplace
> >> I remember her smile.
> >> I remember Edgewood Park
> >> where we'd laugh for a while.
> >>
> >> In the living room
> >> I heard a ghost moan.
> >> As I talked with the Cavalier
> >> on a land line telephone.
> >> Relive every second
> >> these memories you've captured.
> >> Shadowville Mythos...
> >> is on the last chapter.
> >>
> >> -Will Dockery (3-27-23)
> >>
> >> ----
> >> From the Shadowville Mythos poetry blog:
> >> https://shadowville-mythos.blogspot.com/2023/03/on-mulberry-drive.html?m=0

Again, thanks for reading and commenting, Pendragon, I'm on the road right now, so I'll read and respond later, when I return to the office, shortly.

HTH and HAND.

On Wednesday, June 14, 2023 at 6:48:46 PM UTC-4, Edward Rochester Esq. wrote:
> On Wednesday, June 14, 2023 at 4:50:17 PM UTC-4, W-Dockery wrote:
>
> > On Mulberry Drive
> >
> > On Mulberry Drive
> > walking in the Spring rain. .....................
>
> May I?
>
> We had walked on Mulberry Drive,
> in the spring rain,
> except for signs of a driveway,
> nothing else had remained
>
> They took it all away,
> the house and the hill --
> that spot we shared in '78,
> with all that love and thrills.
>
> Oblivion was coming
> and written in stone,
> It started out
> the very day you were born.
>
> Live every second
> dance with what you've captured --
> Shadowville Mythos
> just might be the last chapter.
>
> On Mulberry Drive
> another mystery play began.
>
> Almost fifty years ago,
> still seems like yesterday,
> that long driveway
> now goes into empty space.
> We thought we'd live forever
> not dead and disgraced.
> Darkness is now falling
> archived in our book,
> It really gets smaller
> the closer you look.
>
> Breathe deeply my darling
> smoke them if you must --
> Shadowville Mythos
> just might be the last chapter.
>
> Now on Mulberry Drive
> the hail's coming down,
> it taps on my umbrella
> as I walk around.
>
> I remember that fireplace
> as well as your smile.
> I remember Edgewood Park,
> where we'd laugh for a while.
>
> In the living room
> I once heard a ghost moan
> as I talked with the Cavalier
> on an old style telephone.
> Relive every second
> these memories you've captured.
> Shadowville Mythos
> just might be the last chapter.
> >
> > -Will Dockery (3-27-23)
> >
> > ----
> > From the Shadowville Mythos poetry blog:
> > https://shadowville-mythos.blogspot.com/2023/03/on-mulberry-drive.html?m=0

That's fine Senetto, as long as you don't try to claim a writer's credit attribution later.

🙂

Michael Pendragon wrote:

> On Friday, June 16, 2023 at 3:54:57 PM UTC-4, Michael Pendragon wrote:
>> On Wednesday, June 14, 2023 at 4:50:17 PM UTC-4, W-Dockery wrote:
>> > On Mulberry Drive
>> >
>> > On Mulberry Drive
>> > walking in the Spring rain.
>> This is not a sentence. It lacks both a subject and a verb.
>>
>> A sentence would be: "I was on Mulberry Drive, walking in the Spring rain.."
>>
>> A better sentence would be: "I was walking on Mulberry Drive in the Spring rain," or "I was walking in the Spring rain, on Mulberry Drive."
>> > Except for signs of a driveway
>> > nothing else remains.
>> Nothing remains of *what*???
>>
>> Contextually, this sentence would be directly referring to the previous (non-)sentence. This would mean that the street named "Mulberry Drive" no longer exists.
>>
>> You need to indicate that you're writing about a house *before* you allude to.
>> > They took it all away
>> > the house and the hill.
>> This needs some stronger punctuation at the end of the line break.
>>
>> You should switch quasi-sentences 2 and 3 around:
>> They took it all away,
>> the house and the hill.
>> Except for signs of a driveway
>> nothing else remains.
>> Of course, part of the reason for your fragmented, inverted semi-sentences is that you've attempted to employ a loosely metered form of near-rhyme.
>>
>> Don't.
>>
>> You are not up to writing in rhyme.
>>
>> In order to write rhymed sentences, you first need to know *how* to write sentences.
>>
>> And nothing sounds worse than a poorly written poem that's set in rhyme.
>>
>> One of the reasons free verse has become the predominant form of poetry is that it's extremely difficult to screw it up. As long as one can write a sentence, one can chop it up into an acceptable example of free verse.
>> > That spot we shared in '78
>> > all the love and thrills.
>> This is not a sentence as it lacks a verb. The spot you shared did what? Or, more probably, what was done to the spot you shared?
>> That spot we shared in '78
>> is gone with the love and thrills.
>> > Oblivion is coming
>> > it's written in the stone.
>> Death may travel fast, but oblivion would appear to be stationary.
>>
>> Oblivion is not an *event* like death; it is a state of being (or, more correctly, of not being).
>>
>> An apocalypse might be coming (although the demolition of an old apartment building doesn't justify the comparison), but oblivion is not.
>>
>> Equally bad is your claim that "it's written in the stone."
>>
>> People say that something is "written in stone," which is how you probably latched onto the idea without fully understand what it means. This is a reference to the stone tablets on which God wrote the Ten Commandments. To say that something is "written in stone" means that it cannot be changed.
>>
>> As in your poem, it is often used in conjunction with an ironclad prediction of the future.
>>
>> However, people do not say that something is "written in the stone."
>>
>> First off, if it were written in the stone, it would necessarily have to be *inside* of the stone.
>> Second, since we cannot write anything inside of a stone, we do the next best thing: we write *on* it.
>>
>> You can, therefore, you can either say that something is "written in stone" or that it is "written on the stone." You cannot say that it is "written in the stone" (unless you're Balki Bartokomous or his cousin, Ilya Shambat).
>> > It really starts out
>> > on the day that you're born.
>> What really starts out on the day that you're born?
>>
>> Oblivion?
>>
>> Actually, the exact opposite happens.
>>
>> I think you mean that the moments of your life start ticking away the moment that you're born -- that isn't even close to what you've written.
>> > Live every second
>> > dance what you've captured.
>> What does this even mean?
>>
>> If you catch a squirrel for dinner, you should immediately break into a squirrel dance?
>> > Shadowville Mythos...
>> > is on the last chapter.
>> I thought that "Shadowville Mythos" was supposed to mean the mythic life of Will Donkey and friends in the underbelly of Phenix City.
>>
>> And how is another on the last chapter?
>>
>> Do you mean that your collected poetry is about the end of life? I beg to differ -- it seems mostly about the drugs and skank hos that you've done.
>>
>> If not, we say that something is *in* the final chapter.
>> > On Mulberry Drive
>> > on another mystery play.
>> This is not a sentence as it lacks a verb.
>>
>> On Mulberry Drive there was
>> another mystery play.
>>
>> *I have no idea what the second "on" is doing there.
>> > Almost fifty years ago
>> > still seems like yesterday.
>> You're rambling again. Yes, we all remember the past as if it just happened... but what has this common observation got to do with the Mulberry Drive "mystery play"?
>>
>> Do you know what a mystery play is?
>>
>> They're a far cry from Agatha Christie:
>>
>> https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mystery_play
>> > That long driveway
>> > now goes into space.
>> Not really. It's still on the ground.
>>
>> Try rewording this.
>> > We thought we'd live forever
>> > not dead and disgraced.
>> You're living dead and disgraced?
>>
>> Seriously? Because that's what you've actually written.
>> > Darkness is falling
>> > archived in a book.
>> You can't archive something until *after* it has taken place. If darkness is *in the act of falling,* you have to wait until it has fallen in order to archive it.
>> > It really gets smaller
>> > the closer you look.
>> What does? Darkness?
>>
>> Darkness seems like it would be limitless.
>>
>> Do you understand that contextually, "it" refers to the subject that immediately preceded it?
>> > Breathe deeply my darling
>> > smoke them if you have to.
>> Let's throw in a few clichés to pad this out.
>> > Shadowville Mythos...
>> > is on the last chapter.
>> See above.
>> > On Mulberry Drive
>> > now the hail's coming down.
>> Awkwardly inverted, but I've got a bus to catch.
>> > Taps on the umbrella
>> > as I'm walking around.

> I'm guessing that you mean the hail taps on your umbrella. If you don't want to repeat "the hail" again, you could at least make use of an "it."

>> > I remember that fireplace
>> > I remember her smile.
>> > I remember Edgewood Park
>> > where we'd laugh for a while.

> The above is an example of what "sing-song" poetry actually means.

Of which you're definitely an expert since all of your poetry uses dreary rhymes.

>> > In the living room
>> > I heard a ghost moan.

> switch this sentence with the one about Edgewood Park. The memories inside the house should be kept together

Perhaps.

>> > As I talked with the Cavalier
>> > on a land line telephone.

> Since no one but you has any idea who the "Cavalier" is

Those who know the Shadowville Mythos will know.

>> > Relive every second
>> > these memories you've captured.

>

>> > Shadowville Mythos...
>> > is on the last chapter.

> This "refrain" sounds even

So it went over your head, no surprise there.

>> > -Will Dockery (3-27-23)
>> >
>> > ----
>> > From the Shadowville Mythos poetry blog:
>> > https://shadowville-mythos.blogspot.com/2023/03/on-mulberry-drive.html?m=0

I'll get back to this later, thanks again for reading and commenting, Pendragon.

🙂

On Sunday, June 18, 2023 at 9:15:09 PM UTC-4, W-Dockery wrote:
> Michael Pendragon wrote:
>
> > On Friday, June 16, 2023 at 3:54:57 PM UTC-4, Michael Pendragon wrote:
> >> On Wednesday, June 14, 2023 at 4:50:17 PM UTC-4, W-Dockery wrote:
> >> > On Mulberry Drive
> >> >
> >> > On Mulberry Drive
> >> > walking in the Spring rain.
> >> This is not a sentence. It lacks both a subject and a verb.
> >>
> >> A sentence would be: "I was on Mulberry Drive, walking in the Spring rain.."
> >>
> >> A better sentence would be: "I was walking on Mulberry Drive in the Spring rain," or "I was walking in the Spring rain, on Mulberry Drive."
> >> > Except for signs of a driveway
> >> > nothing else remains.
> >> Nothing remains of *what*???
> >>
> >> Contextually, this sentence would be directly referring to the previous (non-)sentence. This would mean that the street named "Mulberry Drive" no longer exists.
> >>
> >> You need to indicate that you're writing about a house *before* you allude to.
> >> > They took it all away
> >> > the house and the hill.
> >> This needs some stronger punctuation at the end of the line break.
> >>
> >> You should switch quasi-sentences 2 and 3 around:
> >> They took it all away,
> >> the house and the hill.
> >> Except for signs of a driveway
> >> nothing else remains.
> >> Of course, part of the reason for your fragmented, inverted semi-sentences is that you've attempted to employ a loosely metered form of near-rhyme.
> >>
> >> Don't.
> >>
> >> You are not up to writing in rhyme.
> >>
> >> In order to write rhymed sentences, you first need to know *how* to write sentences.
> >>
> >> And nothing sounds worse than a poorly written poem that's set in rhyme.
> >>
> >> One of the reasons free verse has become the predominant form of poetry is that it's extremely difficult to screw it up. As long as one can write a sentence, one can chop it up into an acceptable example of free verse.
> >> > That spot we shared in '78
> >> > all the love and thrills.
> >> This is not a sentence as it lacks a verb. The spot you shared did what? Or, more probably, what was done to the spot you shared?
> >> That spot we shared in '78
> >> is gone with the love and thrills.
> >> > Oblivion is coming
> >> > it's written in the stone.
> >> Death may travel fast, but oblivion would appear to be stationary.
> >>
> >> Oblivion is not an *event* like death; it is a state of being (or, more correctly, of not being).
> >>
> >> An apocalypse might be coming (although the demolition of an old apartment building doesn't justify the comparison), but oblivion is not.
> >>
> >> Equally bad is your claim that "it's written in the stone."
> >>
> >> People say that something is "written in stone," which is how you probably latched onto the idea without fully understand what it means. This is a reference to the stone tablets on which God wrote the Ten Commandments. To say that something is "written in stone" means that it cannot be changed.
> >>
> >> As in your poem, it is often used in conjunction with an ironclad prediction of the future.
> >>
> >> However, people do not say that something is "written in the stone."
> >>
> >> First off, if it were written in the stone, it would necessarily have to be *inside* of the stone.
> >> Second, since we cannot write anything inside of a stone, we do the next best thing: we write *on* it.
> >>
> >> You can, therefore, you can either say that something is "written in stone" or that it is "written on the stone." You cannot say that it is "written in the stone" (unless you're Balki Bartokomous or his cousin, Ilya Shambat).
> >> > It really starts out
> >> > on the day that you're born.
> >> What really starts out on the day that you're born?
> >>
> >> Oblivion?
> >>
> >> Actually, the exact opposite happens.
> >>
> >> I think you mean that the moments of your life start ticking away the moment that you're born -- that isn't even close to what you've written.
> >> > Live every second
> >> > dance what you've captured.
> >> What does this even mean?
> >>
> >> If you catch a squirrel for dinner, you should immediately break into a squirrel dance?
> >> > Shadowville Mythos...
> >> > is on the last chapter.
> >> I thought that "Shadowville Mythos" was supposed to mean the mythic life of Will Donkey and friends in the underbelly of Phenix City.
> >>
> >> And how is another on the last chapter?
> >>
> >> Do you mean that your collected poetry is about the end of life? I beg to differ -- it seems mostly about the drugs and skank hos that you've done.
> >>
> >> If not, we say that something is *in* the final chapter.
> >> > On Mulberry Drive
> >> > on another mystery play.
> >> This is not a sentence as it lacks a verb.
> >>
> >> On Mulberry Drive there was
> >> another mystery play.
> >>
> >> *I have no idea what the second "on" is doing there.
> >> > Almost fifty years ago
> >> > still seems like yesterday.
> >> You're rambling again. Yes, we all remember the past as if it just happened... but what has this common observation got to do with the Mulberry Drive "mystery play"?
> >>
> >> Do you know what a mystery play is?
> >>
> >> They're a far cry from Agatha Christie:
> >>
> >> https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mystery_play
> >> > That long driveway
> >> > now goes into space.
> >> Not really. It's still on the ground.
> >>
> >> Try rewording this.
> >> > We thought we'd live forever
> >> > not dead and disgraced.
> >> You're living dead and disgraced?
> >>
> >> Seriously? Because that's what you've actually written.
> >> > Darkness is falling
> >> > archived in a book.
> >> You can't archive something until *after* it has taken place. If darkness is *in the act of falling,* you have to wait until it has fallen in order to archive it.
> >> > It really gets smaller
> >> > the closer you look.
> >> What does? Darkness?
> >>
> >> Darkness seems like it would be limitless.
> >>
> >> Do you understand that contextually, "it" refers to the subject that immediately preceded it?
> >> > Breathe deeply my darling
> >> > smoke them if you have to.
> >> Let's throw in a few clichés to pad this out.
> >> > Shadowville Mythos...
> >> > is on the last chapter.
> >> See above.
> >> > On Mulberry Drive
> >> > now the hail's coming down.
> >> Awkwardly inverted, but I've got a bus to catch.
> >> > Taps on the umbrella
> >> > as I'm walking around.
>
> > I'm guessing that you mean the hail taps on your umbrella. If you don't want to repeat "the hail" again, you could at least make use of an "it."
>
> >> > I remember that fireplace
> >> > I remember her smile.
> >> > I remember Edgewood Park
> >> > where we'd laugh for a while.
>
> > The above is an example of what "sing-song" poetry actually means.
> Of which you're definitely an expert since all of your poetry uses dreary rhymes.

"Sing-song" doesn't mean "rhyme," Donkey. It refers to a specific type of forced and/or painfully obvious attempt at rhyming, where the rhyme has become the focus rather than the thought. "Where we'd laugh for a while" is an obvious piece of filler, serving no purpose other than to provide a rhyme with "smile."

BTW, it should be "where we laughed for a while."

> >> > In the living room
> >> > I heard a ghost moan.
> > switch this sentence with the one about Edgewood Park. The memories inside the house should be kept together
> Perhaps.
> >> > As I talked with the Cavalier
> >> > on a land line telephone.
>
> > Since no one but you has any idea who the "Cavalier" is
> Those who know the Shadowville Mythos will know.

Michael Pendragon wrote:

> On Sunday, June 18, 2023 at 9:15:09 PM UTC-4, W-Dockery wrote:
>> Michael Pendragon wrote:
>>
>> > On Friday, June 16, 2023 at 3:54:57 PM UTC-4, Michael Pendragon wrote:
>> >> On Wednesday, June 14, 2023 at 4:50:17 PM UTC-4, W-Dockery wrote:
>> >> > On Mulberry Drive
>> >> >
>> >> > On Mulberry Drive
>> >> > walking in the Spring rain.
>> >> This is not a sentence. It lacks both a subject and a verb.
>> >>
>> >> A sentence would be: "I was on Mulberry Drive, walking in the Spring rain.."
>> >>
>> >> A better sentence would be: "I was walking on Mulberry Drive in the Spring rain," or "I was walking in the Spring rain, on Mulberry Drive."
>> >> > Except for signs of a driveway
>> >> > nothing else remains.
>> >> Nothing remains of *what*???
>> >>
>> >> Contextually, this sentence would be directly referring to the previous (non-)sentence. This would mean that the street named "Mulberry Drive" no longer exists.
>> >>
>> >> You need to indicate that you're writing about a house *before* you allude to.
>> >> > They took it all away
>> >> > the house and the hill.
>> >> This needs some stronger punctuation at the end of the line break.
>> >>
>> >> You should switch quasi-sentences 2 and 3 around:
>> >> They took it all away,
>> >> the house and the hill.
>> >> Except for signs of a driveway
>> >> nothing else remains.
>> >> Of course, part of the reason for your fragmented, inverted semi-sentences is that you've attempted to employ a loosely metered form of near-rhyme.
>> >>
>> >> Don't.
>> >>
>> >> You are not up to writing in rhyme.
>> >>
>> >> In order to write rhymed sentences, you first need to know *how* to write sentences.
>> >>
>> >> And nothing sounds worse than a poorly written poem that's set in rhyme.
>> >>
>> >> One of the reasons free verse has become the predominant form of poetry is that it's extremely difficult to screw it up. As long as one can write a sentence, one can chop it up into an acceptable example of free verse.
>> >> > That spot we shared in '78
>> >> > all the love and thrills.
>> >> This is not a sentence as it lacks a verb. The spot you shared did what? Or, more probably, what was done to the spot you shared?
>> >> That spot we shared in '78
>> >> is gone with the love and thrills.
>> >> > Oblivion is coming
>> >> > it's written in the stone.
>> >> Death may travel fast, but oblivion would appear to be stationary.
>> >>
>> >> Oblivion is not an *event* like death; it is a state of being (or, more correctly, of not being).
>> >>
>> >> An apocalypse might be coming (although the demolition of an old apartment building doesn't justify the comparison), but oblivion is not.
>> >>
>> >> Equally bad is your claim that "it's written in the stone."
>> >>
>> >> People say that something is "written in stone," which is how you probably latched onto the idea without fully understand what it means. This is a reference to the stone tablets on which God wrote the Ten Commandments. To say that something is "written in stone" means that it cannot be changed.
>> >>
>> >> As in your poem, it is often used in conjunction with an ironclad prediction of the future.
>> >>
>> >> However, people do not say that something is "written in the stone."
>> >>
>> >> First off, if it were written in the stone, it would necessarily have to be *inside* of the stone.
>> >> Second, since we cannot write anything inside of a stone, we do the next best thing: we write *on* it.
>> >>
>> >> You can, therefore, you can either say that something is "written in stone" or that it is "written on the stone." You cannot say that it is "written in the stone" (unless you're Balki Bartokomous or his cousin, Ilya Shambat).
>> >> > It really starts out
>> >> > on the day that you're born.
>> >> What really starts out on the day that you're born?
>> >>
>> >> Oblivion?
>> >>
>> >> Actually, the exact opposite happens.
>> >>
>> >> I think you mean that the moments of your life start ticking away the moment that you're born -- that isn't even close to what you've written.
>> >> > Live every second
>> >> > dance what you've captured.
>> >> What does this even mean?
>> >>
>> >> If you catch a squirrel for dinner, you should immediately break into a squirrel dance?
>> >> > Shadowville Mythos...
>> >> > is on the last chapter.
>> >> I thought that "Shadowville Mythos" was supposed to mean the mythic life of Will Donkey and friends in the underbelly of Phenix City.
>> >>
>> >> And how is another on the last chapter?
>> >>
>> >> Do you mean that your collected poetry is about the end of life? I beg to differ -- it seems mostly about the drugs and skank hos that you've done.
>> >>
>> >> If not, we say that something is *in* the final chapter.
>> >> > On Mulberry Drive
>> >> > on another mystery play.
>> >> This is not a sentence as it lacks a verb.
>> >>
>> >> On Mulberry Drive there was
>> >> another mystery play.
>> >>
>> >> *I have no idea what the second "on" is doing there.
>> >> > Almost fifty years ago
>> >> > still seems like yesterday.
>> >> You're rambling again. Yes, we all remember the past as if it just happened... but what has this common observation got to do with the Mulberry Drive "mystery play"?
>> >>
>> >> Do you know what a mystery play is?
>> >>
>> >> They're a far cry from Agatha Christie:
>> >>
>> >> https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mystery_play
>> >> > That long driveway
>> >> > now goes into space.
>> >> Not really. It's still on the ground.
>> >>
>> >> Try rewording this.
>> >> > We thought we'd live forever
>> >> > not dead and disgraced.
>> >> You're living dead and disgraced?
>> >>
>> >> Seriously? Because that's what you've actually written.
>> >> > Darkness is falling
>> >> > archived in a book.
>> >> You can't archive something until *after* it has taken place. If darkness is *in the act of falling,* you have to wait until it has fallen in order to archive it.
>> >> > It really gets smaller
>> >> > the closer you look.
>> >> What does? Darkness?
>> >>
>> >> Darkness seems like it would be limitless.
>> >>
>> >> Do you understand that contextually, "it" refers to the subject that immediately preceded it?
>> >> > Breathe deeply my darling
>> >> > smoke them if you have to.
>> >> Let's throw in a few clichés to pad this out.
>> >> > Shadowville Mythos...
>> >> > is on the last chapter.
>> >> See above.
>> >> > On Mulberry Drive
>> >> > now the hail's coming down.
>> >> Awkwardly inverted, but I've got a bus to catch.
>> >> > Taps on the umbrella
>> >> > as I'm walking around.
>>
>> > I'm guessing that you mean the hail taps on your umbrella. If you don't want to repeat "the hail" again, you could at least make use of an "it."
>>
>> >> > I remember that fireplace
>> >> > I remember her smile.
>> >> > I remember Edgewood Park
>> >> > where we'd laugh for a while.
>>
>> > The above is an example of what "sing-song" poetry actually means.
>> Of which you're definitely an expert since all of your poetry uses dreary rhymes.

> On Mulberry Drive
>
> On Mulberry Drive
> walking in the Spring rain.
> Except for signs of a driveway
> nothing else remains.
> They took it all away
> the house and the hill.
> That spot we shared in '78
> all the love and thrills.
>
> Oblivion is coming
> it's written in the stone.
> It really starts out
> on the day that you're born.
> Live every second
> dance what you've captured.
> Shadowville Mythos...
> is on the last chapter.
>
> On Mulberry Drive
> on another mystery play.
> Almost fifty years ago
> still seems like yesterday.
> That long driveway
> now goes into space.
> We thought we'd live forever
> not dead and disgraced.
>
> Darkness is falling
> archived in a book.
> It really gets smaller
> the closer you look.
> Breathe deeply my darling
> smoke them if you have to.
> Shadowville Mythos...
> is on the last chapter.
>
> On Mulberry Drive
> now the hail's coming down.
> Taps on the umbrella
> as I'm walking around.
> I remember that fireplace
> I remember her smile.
> I remember Edgewood Park
> where we'd laugh for a while.
>
> In the living room
> I heard a ghost moan.
> As I talked with the Cavalier
> on a land line telephone.
> Relive every second
> these memories you've captured.
> Shadowville Mythos...
> is on the last chapter.
>
> -Will Dockery (3-27-23)
>
> ----
> From the Shadowville Mythos poetry blog:
> https://shadowville-mythos.blogspot.com/2023/03/on-mulberry-drive.html?m=0

Reposted for ME, who says she didn't see any of my poetry posted here.

And so it goes.

Will Dockery wrote:
>
>> On Mulberry Drive
>>
>> On Mulberry Drive
>> walking in the Spring rain.
>> Except for signs of a driveway
>> nothing else remains.
>> They took it all away
>> the house and the hill.
>> That spot we shared in '78
>> all the love and thrills.
>>
>> Oblivion is coming
>> it's written in the stone.
>> It really starts out
>> on the day that you're born.
>> Live every second
>> dance what you've captured.
>> Shadowville Mythos...
>> is on the last chapter.
>>
>> On Mulberry Drive
>> on another mystery play.
>> Almost fifty years ago
>> still seems like yesterday.
>> That long driveway
>> now goes into space.
>> We thought we'd live forever
>> not dead and disgraced.
>>
>> Darkness is falling
>> archived in a book.
>> It really gets smaller
>> the closer you look.
>> Breathe deeply my darling
>> smoke them if you have to.
>> Shadowville Mythos...
>> is on the last chapter.
>>
>> On Mulberry Drive
>> now the hail's coming down.
>> Taps on the umbrella
>> as I'm walking around.
>> I remember that fireplace
>> I remember her smile.
>> I remember Edgewood Park
>> where we'd laugh for a while.
>>
>> In the living room
>> I heard a ghost moan.
>> As I talked with the Cavalier
>> on a land line telephone.
>> Relive every second
>> these memories you've captured.
>> Shadowville Mythos...
>> is on the last chapter.
>>
>> -Will Dockery (3-27-23)
>>
>> ----
>> From the Shadowville Mythos poetry blog:
>> https://shadowville-mythos.blogspot.com/2023/03/on-mulberry-drive.html?m=0

> (By request of Senetto)

Having a second read on this one, it is quite powerful, strident...

On Wednesday, June 14, 2023 at 6:48:46 PM UTC-4, Edward Rochester Esq. wrote:
> On Wednesday, June 14, 2023 at 4:50:17 PM UTC-4, W-Dockery wrote:
>
> > On Mulberry Drive
> >
> > On Mulberry Drive
> > walking in the Spring rain. .....................
>
> May I?
>
> We had walked on Mulberry Drive,
> in the spring rain,
> except for signs of a driveway,
> nothing else had remained
>
> They took it all away,
> the house and the hill --
> that spot we shared in '78,
> with all that love and thrills.
>
> Oblivion was coming
> and written in stone,
> It started out
> the very day you were born.
>
> Live every second
> dance with what you've captured --
> Shadowville Mythos
> just might be the last chapter.
>
> On Mulberry Drive
> another mystery play began.
>
> Almost fifty years ago,
> still seems like yesterday,
> that long driveway
> now goes into empty space.
> We thought we'd live forever
> not dead and disgraced.
> Darkness is now falling
> archived in our book,
> It really gets smaller
> the closer you look.
>
> Breathe deeply my darling
> smoke them if you must --
> Shadowville Mythos
> just might be the last chapter.
>
> Now on Mulberry Drive
> the hail's coming down,
> it taps on my umbrella
> as I walk around.
>
> I remember that fireplace
> as well as your smile.
> I remember Edgewood Park,
> where we'd laugh for a while.
>
> In the living room
> I once heard a ghost moan
> as I talked with the Cavalier
> on an old style telephone.
> Relive every second
> these memories you've captured.
> Shadowville Mythos
> just might be the last chapter.
> >
> > -Will Dockery (3-27-23)
> >
> > ----
> > From the Shadowville Mythos poetry blog:
> > https://shadowville-mythos.blogspot.com/2023/03/on-mulberry-drive.html?m=0

Thanks again for the feedback, Senetto.

On Saturday, June 24, 2023 at 3:40:16 PM UTC-4, General-Zod wrote:
> Will Dockery wrote:
> >
> >> On Mulberry Drive
> >>
> >> On Mulberry Drive
> >> walking in the Spring rain.
> >> Except for signs of a driveway
> >> nothing else remains.
> >> They took it all away
> >> the house and the hill.
> >> That spot we shared in '78
> >> all the love and thrills.
> >>
> >> Oblivion is coming
> >> it's written in the stone.
> >> It really starts out
> >> on the day that you're born.
> >> Live every second
> >> dance what you've captured.
> >> Shadowville Mythos...
> >> is on the last chapter.
> >>
> >> On Mulberry Drive
> >> on another mystery play.
> >> Almost fifty years ago
> >> still seems like yesterday.
> >> That long driveway
> >> now goes into space.
> >> We thought we'd live forever
> >> not dead and disgraced.
> >>
> >> Darkness is falling
> >> archived in a book.
> >> It really gets smaller
> >> the closer you look.
> >> Breathe deeply my darling
> >> smoke them if you have to.
> >> Shadowville Mythos...
> >> is on the last chapter.
> >>
> >> On Mulberry Drive
> >> now the hail's coming down.
> >> Taps on the umbrella
> >> as I'm walking around.
> >> I remember that fireplace
> >> I remember her smile.
> >> I remember Edgewood Park
> >> where we'd laugh for a while.
> >>
> >> In the living room
> >> I heard a ghost moan.
> >> As I talked with the Cavalier
> >> on a land line telephone.
> >> Relive every second
> >> these memories you've captured.
> >> Shadowville Mythos...
> >> is on the last chapter.
> >>
> >> -Will Dockery (3-27-23)
> >>
> >> ----
> >> From the Shadowville Mythos poetry blog:
> >> https://shadowville-mythos.blogspot.com/2023/03/on-mulberry-drive.html?m=0
>
> > (By request of Senetto)
> Having a second read on this one, it is quite powerful, strident...

Hello there Zod, great to have you back with us.

🙂

On Monday, June 26, 2023 at 3:05:25 PM UTC-4, Will Dockery wrote:
> On Saturday, June 24, 2023 at 3:40:16 PM UTC-4, General-Zod wrote:
> > Will Dockery wrote:
> > >
> > >> On Mulberry Drive
> > >>
> > >> On Mulberry Drive
> > >> walking in the Spring rain.
> > >> Except for signs of a driveway
> > >> nothing else remains.
> > >> They took it all away
> > >> the house and the hill.
> > >> That spot we shared in '78
> > >> all the love and thrills.
> > >>
> > >> Oblivion is coming
> > >> it's written in the stone.
> > >> It really starts out
> > >> on the day that you're born.
> > >> Live every second
> > >> dance what you've captured.
> > >> Shadowville Mythos...
> > >> is on the last chapter.
> > >>
> > >> On Mulberry Drive
> > >> on another mystery play.
> > >> Almost fifty years ago
> > >> still seems like yesterday.
> > >> That long driveway
> > >> now goes into space.
> > >> We thought we'd live forever
> > >> not dead and disgraced.
> > >>
> > >> Darkness is falling
> > >> archived in a book.
> > >> It really gets smaller
> > >> the closer you look.
> > >> Breathe deeply my darling
> > >> smoke them if you have to.
> > >> Shadowville Mythos...
> > >> is on the last chapter.
> > >>
> > >> On Mulberry Drive
> > >> now the hail's coming down.
> > >> Taps on the umbrella
> > >> as I'm walking around.
> > >> I remember that fireplace
> > >> I remember her smile.
> > >> I remember Edgewood Park
> > >> where we'd laugh for a while.
> > >>
> > >> In the living room
> > >> I heard a ghost moan.
> > >> As I talked with the Cavalier
> > >> on a land line telephone.
> > >> Relive every second
> > >> these memories you've captured.
> > >> Shadowville Mythos...
> > >> is on the last chapter.
> > >>
> > >> -Will Dockery (3-27-23)
> > >>
> > >> ----
> > >> From the Shadowville Mythos poetry blog:
> > >> https://shadowville-mythos.blogspot.com/2023/03/on-mulberry-drive.html?m=0
> >
> > > (By request of Senetto)
> > Having a second read on this one, it is quite powerful, strident...
> Hello there Zod, great to have you back with us.
>
> 🙂

And alas, verily, it is quite good to be back...!

On Saturday, June 17, 2023 at 6:24:39 PM UTC-4, Will Dockery wrote:
>
> > > On Mulberry Drive
> > >
> > > On Mulberry Drive
> > > walking in the Spring rain. .....................
> >
> > May I?
> >
> > We had walked on Mulberry Drive,
> > in the spring rain,
> > except for signs of a driveway,
> > nothing else had remained
> >
> > They took it all away,
> > the house and the hill --
> > that spot we shared in '78,
> > with all that love and thrills.
> >
> > Oblivion was coming
> > and written in stone,
> > It started out
> > the very day you were born.
> >
> > Live every second
> > dance with what you've captured --
> > Shadowville Mythos
> > just might be the last chapter.
> >
> > On Mulberry Drive
> > another mystery play began.
> >
> > Almost fifty years ago,
> > still seems like yesterday,
> > that long driveway
> > now goes into empty space.
> > We thought we'd live forever
> > not dead and disgraced.
> > Darkness is now falling
> > archived in our book,
> > It really gets smaller
> > the closer you look.
> >
> > Breathe deeply my darling
> > smoke them if you must --
> > Shadowville Mythos
> > just might be the last chapter.
> >
> > Now on Mulberry Drive
> > the hail's coming down,
> > it taps on my umbrella
> > as I walk around.
> >
> > I remember that fireplace
> > as well as your smile.
> > I remember Edgewood Park,
> > where we'd laugh for a while.
> >
> > In the living room
> > I once heard a ghost moan
> > as I talked with the Cavalier
> > on an old style telephone.
> > Relive every second
> > these memories you've captured.
> > Shadowville Mythos
> > just might be the last chapter.
> > >
> > > -Will Dockery (3-27-23)
> > >
> > > ----
> > > From the Shadowville Mythos poetry blog:
> > > https://shadowville-mythos.blogspot.com/2023/03/on-mulberry-drive.html?m=0

Darn good poem...

On Tuesday, June 27, 2023 at 12:38:29 PM UTC-4, Faraway Star wrote:
> On Monday, June 26, 2023 at 3:05:25 PM UTC-4, Will Dockery wrote:
> > On Saturday, June 24, 2023 at 3:40:16 PM UTC-4, General-Zod wrote:
> > > Will Dockery wrote:
> > > >
> > > >> On Mulberry Drive
> > > >>
> > > >> On Mulberry Drive
> > > >> walking in the Spring rain.
> > > >> Except for signs of a driveway
> > > >> nothing else remains.
> > > >> They took it all away
> > > >> the house and the hill.
> > > >> That spot we shared in '78
> > > >> all the love and thrills.
> > > >>
> > > >> Oblivion is coming
> > > >> it's written in the stone.
> > > >> It really starts out
> > > >> on the day that you're born.
> > > >> Live every second
> > > >> dance what you've captured.
> > > >> Shadowville Mythos...
> > > >> is on the last chapter.
> > > >>
> > > >> On Mulberry Drive
> > > >> on another mystery play.
> > > >> Almost fifty years ago
> > > >> still seems like yesterday.
> > > >> That long driveway
> > > >> now goes into space.
> > > >> We thought we'd live forever
> > > >> not dead and disgraced.
> > > >>
> > > >> Darkness is falling
> > > >> archived in a book.
> > > >> It really gets smaller
> > > >> the closer you look.
> > > >> Breathe deeply my darling
> > > >> smoke them if you have to.
> > > >> Shadowville Mythos...
> > > >> is on the last chapter.
> > > >>
> > > >> On Mulberry Drive
> > > >> now the hail's coming down.
> > > >> Taps on the umbrella
> > > >> as I'm walking around.
> > > >> I remember that fireplace
> > > >> I remember her smile.
> > > >> I remember Edgewood Park
> > > >> where we'd laugh for a while.
> > > >>
> > > >> In the living room
> > > >> I heard a ghost moan.
> > > >> As I talked with the Cavalier
> > > >> on a land line telephone.
> > > >> Relive every second
> > > >> these memories you've captured.
> > > >> Shadowville Mythos...
> > > >> is on the last chapter.
> > > >>
> > > >> -Will Dockery (3-27-23)
> > > >>
> > > >> ----
> > > >> From the Shadowville Mythos poetry blog:
> > > >> https://shadowville-mythos.blogspot.com/2023/03/on-mulberry-drive.html?m=0
> > >
> > > > (By request of Senetto)
> > > Having a second read on this one, it is quite powerful, strident...
> > Hello there Zod, great to have you back with us.
> >
>
> And alas, verily, it is quite good to be back...!

Hope you and Mike are having a great holiday.

Will Dockery wrote:

> Faraway Star wrote:
>> Will Dockery wrote:
>> > General-Zod wrote:
>> > > Will Dockery wrote:
>
>> > > >>n Mulberry Drive
>> > > >>
>> > > >> On Mulberry Drive
>> > > >> walking in the Spring rain.
>> > > >> Except for signs of a driveway
>> > > >> nothing else remains.
>> > > >> They took it all away
>> > > >> the house and the hill.
>> > > >> That spot we shared in '78
>> > > >> all the love and thrills.
>> > > >>
>> > > >> Oblivion is coming
>> > > >> it's written in the stone.
>> > > >> It really starts out
>> > > >> on the day that you're born.
>> > > >> Live every second
>> > > >> dance what you've captured.
>> > > >> Shadowville Mythos...
>> > > >> is on the last chapter.
>> > > >>
>> > > >> On Mulberry Drive
>> > > >> on another mystery play.
>> > > >> Almost fifty years ago
>> > > >> still seems like yesterday.
>> > > >> That long driveway
>> > > >> now goes into space.
>> > > >> We thought we'd live forever
>> > > >> not dead and disgraced.
>> > > >>
>> > > >> Darkness is falling
>> > > >> archived in a book.
>> > > >> It really gets smaller
>> > > >> the closer you look.
>> > > >> Breathe deeply my darling
>> > > >> smoke them if you have to.
>> > > >> Shadowville Mythos...
>> > > >> is on the last chapter.
>> > > >>
>> > > >> On Mulberry Drive
>> > > >> now the hail's coming down.
>> > > >> Taps on the umbrella
>> > > >> as I'm walking around.
>> > > >> I remember that fireplace
>> > > >> I remember her smile.
>> > > >> I remember Edgewood Park
>> > > >> where we'd laugh for a while.
>> > > >>
>> > > >> In the living room
>> > > >> I heard a ghost moan.
>> > > >> As I talked with the Cavalier
>> > > >> on a land line telephone.
>> > > >> Relive every second
>> > > >> these memories you've captured.
>> > > >> Shadowville Mythos...
>> > > >> is on the last chapter.
>> > > >>
>> > > >> -Will Dockery (3-27-23)
>> > > >>
>> > > >> ----
>> > > >> From the Shadowville Mythos poetry blog:
>> > > >> https://shadowville-mythos.blogspot.com/2023/03/on-mulberry-drive.html?m=0
>> > >
>> > > > (By request of Senetto)
>> > > Having a second read on this one, it is quite powerful, strident...
>> > Hello there Zod, great to have you back with us.
>> >
>>
>> And alas, verily, it is quite good to be back...!

> Hope you and Mike are having a great holiday.

Doing good Mike says to tell you hello...!!

General-Zod wrote:

> Will Dockery wrote:

>> Faraway Star wrote:
>>> Will Dockery wrote:
>>> > General-Zod wrote:
>>> > > Will Dockery wrote:
>>
>>> > > >>n Mulberry Drive
>>> > > >>
>>> > > >> On Mulberry Drive
>>> > > >> walking in the Spring rain.
>>> > > >> Except for signs of a driveway
>>> > > >> nothing else remains.
>>> > > >> They took it all away
>>> > > >> the house and the hill.
>>> > > >> That spot we shared in '78
>>> > > >> all the love and thrills.
>>> > > >>
>>> > > >> Oblivion is coming
>>> > > >> it's written in the stone.
>>> > > >> It really starts out
>>> > > >> on the day that you're born.
>>> > > >> Live every second
>>> > > >> dance what you've captured.
>>> > > >> Shadowville Mythos...
>>> > > >> is on the last chapter.
>>> > > >>
>>> > > >> On Mulberry Drive
>>> > > >> on another mystery play.
>>> > > >> Almost fifty years ago
>>> > > >> still seems like yesterday.
>>> > > >> That long driveway
>>> > > >> now goes into space.
>>> > > >> We thought we'd live forever
>>> > > >> not dead and disgraced.
>>> > > >>
>>> > > >> Darkness is falling
>>> > > >> archived in a book.
>>> > > >> It really gets smaller
>>> > > >> the closer you look.
>>> > > >> Breathe deeply my darling
>>> > > >> smoke them if you have to.
>>> > > >> Shadowville Mythos...
>>> > > >> is on the last chapter.
>>> > > >>
>>> > > >> On Mulberry Drive
>>> > > >> now the hail's coming down.
>>> > > >> Taps on the umbrella
>>> > > >> as I'm walking around.
>>> > > >> I remember that fireplace
>>> > > >> I remember her smile.
>>> > > >> I remember Edgewood Park
>>> > > >> where we'd laugh for a while.
>>> > > >>
>>> > > >> In the living room
>>> > > >> I heard a ghost moan.
>>> > > >> As I talked with the Cavalier
>>> > > >> on a land line telephone.
>>> > > >> Relive every second
>>> > > >> these memories you've captured.
>>> > > >> Shadowville Mythos...
>>> > > >> is on the last chapter.
>>> > > >>
>>> > > >> -Will Dockery (3-27-23)
>>> > > >>
>>> > > >> ----
>>> > > >> From the Shadowville Mythos poetry blog:
>>> > > >> https://shadowville-mythos.blogspot.com/2023/03/on-mulberry-drive.html?m=0
>>> > >
>>> > > > (By request of Senetto)
>>> > > Having a second read on this one, it is quite powerful, strident...
>>> > Hello there Zod, great to have you back with us.
>>> >
>>>
>>> And alas, verily, it is quite good to be back...!

>> Hope you and Mike are having a great holiday.

> Doing good Mike says to tell you hello...!!

Good afternoon, Jordy.

WillDockery wrote:
>
> On Mulberry Drive
>
> On Mulberry Drive
> walking in the Spring rain.
> Except for signs of a driveway
> nothing else remains.
> They took it all away
> the house and the hill.
> That spot we shared in '78
> all the love and thrills.
>
> Oblivion is coming
> it's written in the stone.
> It really starts out
> on the day that you're born.
> Live every second
> dance what you've captured.
> Shadowville Mythos...
> is on the last chapter.
>
> On Mulberry Drive
> on another mystery play.
> Almost fifty years ago
> still seems like yesterday.
> That long driveway
> now goes into space.
> We thought we'd live forever
> not dead and disgraced.
>
> Darkness is falling
> archived in a book.
> It really gets smaller
> the closer you look.
> Breathe deeply my darling
> smoke them if you have to.
> Shadowville Mythos...
> is on the last chapter.
>
> On Mulberry Drive
> now the hail's coming down.
> Taps on the umbrella
> as I'm walking around.
> I remember that fireplace
> I remember her smile.
> I remember Edgewood Park
> where we'd laugh for a while.
>
> In the living room
> I heard a ghost moan.
> As I talked with the Cavalier
> on a land line telephone.
> Relive every second
> these memories you've captured.
> Shadowville Mythos...
> is on the last chapter.
>
> -Will Dockery (3-27-23)
>
> ----
> From the Shadowville Mythos poetry blog:
> https://shadowville-mythos.blogspot.com/2023/03/on-mulberry-drive.html?m=0

Quite powerful on next read...