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arts / rec.arts.sf.tv / Re: The snARK S01E01 "Everyone Wanted to Be on This Ship"

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* Re: The snARK S01E01 "Everyone Wanted to Be on This Ship"Ubiquitous
`- Re: The snARK S01E01 "Everyone Wanted to Be on This Ship"Genoveva Hirthe

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Re: The snARK S01E01 "Everyone Wanted to Be on This Ship"

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From: web...@polaris.net (Ubiquitous)
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Subject: Re: The snARK S01E01 "Everyone Wanted to Be on This Ship"
Date: Mon, 20 Mar 2023 04:30:42 -0500
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 by: Ubiquitous - Mon, 20 Mar 2023 09:30 UTC

After suffering a disaster, the remaining crew of spaceship
Ark One must band together to survive.

Was this a rejected CW show? It was terrible!

I meant to write something more comprehesive but lost my notes or forgot.
Here's some random thoughts and my chat with anim8rfsk while I watched.

All the adults died, leaving the young adults in charge. How convenient. BTW,
who designed this ship to place everyone in rotating chmabers on the outside
of ship instead of the interior of the shaft portion, where they would be
protected from space debris. Who puts all the mission critical people
together, and why did there seem to be no chain of command or protocalls?

I am not going to comment on muscle atrophy or the gravity being all wrong.

I immediately noticed the stars zooming by in the windows. Ugh. I am sure the
stars outside would chnage position, but that's ridiculous!

A female lieutenant takes control and tells everyone they're a year away from
their destination and only have a month's worth of food that was intended for
consumption at their destination. Once again, who planned this voyage? Why
don't they put people back into hibernation?

A cute horticulturalist prodigy tells the girl in charge that he managed to
smuggle a big crate of super-dirt onto the Ark, in case their destination is
barren. Shouldn't he know that hydroponics is much more efficient and how he
plans on using that super-dirt to grow crops on a barren planet? Once again,
who planned this voyage?

For some stupid reason, their life support system warns you about leaks when
there's less than 20% of air left instead of immediately when it detects the
leak so the bulkheads aren't dropping while you're trying to fix them. As
soon as I saw the life support systems expert, I knew he was doomed as doomed
can be because he's older than everyone else. It turns out he stowed aboard
by replacing the real life support systems expert, instead of the guy who is
in charge of changing air filters and wouldn't be noticed. Hey, he said the
title of this ep!

Two of the crew exposition that they were forbidden to be on the ship because
they're lovers, so they lied about it. Why is it forbidden? Do they expect
people to have bastard babies or something? How did they hide it? Oh yeah,
why is she wearing a babushka?

For dramatic reasons, the only way to fix the life support was via spacewalk.
Making matters worse, no one was tethered and there were no ladders on the
exterior to hold onto. I hope those jetpacks don't malfunction or experience
operator error!

Meanwhile, a blond entitled bitch decides she's going to break water curfew
and take a shower in a deserted part of the ship. Why did they put police
crime scene tape over the door instead of locking it and why didn't they turn
off the water to the showers? Before she can take her secret non-naked
shower, she gets busted by a man who had been waiting until she was turning
on the water. Why was he loitering in the women's showers and why did he let
her get dressed instead of frog-marching her naked to the bridge as a lesson?
I can only assume the lingering shot of the water dripping from the not-
quite-off shower is going to cause a water shortage in the future.

Oh yeah, the boss girl killed the elder impersonator after he blabbed about
knowing her secret. Yeah, who didn't see that one coming?

***********************************************************************
So I just watched the pilot ep of The snARK

Anim8rfsk: It gets worse

Don't make me Troll-O-Meter you, bro!
OK, so I take it this was sppsd to be a CW show?

Anim8rfsk: I have no idea

All the adults conveniently died, leaving young adults in charge
Why do they even have rotating sections of the ship?

Anim8rfsk: Gravity. But they got it all wrong.

But but but the non-spinning parts have gravity too!

Anim8rfsk: And in several different directions

Anim8rfsk: And the gravity in the rotating sections goes the wrong way

I noticed the stars slowly wizzing by part.

Anim8rfsk: Yeah

Oh yeah, it [gravity] should be towards the outer wall

Anim8rfsk: And it ain�t. I think it goes every direction but that one.

So why don't they put people back into suspended animation?

Anim8rfsk: All the pods or smashed
Anim8rfsk: Or the rooms they were in

Oh, I never noticed the direction of gravity. There's no way to tell their
orientation
OK, I have to say it. Smeone didn;t plan the ship very well.

Anim8rfsk: There�s a shot in the pilot where they show them looking out the
windows in the Spinney sections, and the gravity is going towards the center
Anim8rfsk: They did the exact same shot on the 100

Why does your life support system warn you when there's less than 20% air in
the ship? ??

Anim8rfsk: And why does it say oxygen instead of air?

It should have said "we have a leak on the ship!" long before it became
critical
You know, so the bulkheads don't drop while you're trying to fix it

Anim8rfsk:
Oh, they have gravity on the Spinney sections that goes towards the center of
the ship and changes as it revolves. They also have gravity on the Spinney
sections that goes sideways. They have gravity in several places like the
bridge that goes Galactic south. I thought the gravity in that stupid dome
went galactic south, but they have several of those things all over the ship
so they apparently go to ships center access. But the gravity on their
shuttle those galactic south.

And the cute botanist who reminds me of someone should know who smuggled dirt
aboard should know that hydroponics is the best way to grow food

Anim8rfsk: Yeah, I thought of that when he started digging out the dirt

His reasoning that they would need dirt if their destination is barren won't
help

Anim8rfsk: Yeah, if he tries to seed the planet, he�s gonna run out of dirt
pretty quick

I guess the imposter had his throat slit because he blabbed her secret to her
with no witnesses.
I really hate that trope!

Anim8rfsk: They finally solved the mystery of why he got his throat slit this
week. Made no sense.

I am guessing when they get around to investigating, no one bothers to check
security logs, etc
I was worried that guy to told the girl he loved her would live to regret
blabbling that when he thought he was going to die. ??
The cute girl with glasses is going to get on my nerves real fast
I think there was something else... ??
Maybe the food and water situation. They weren't given extra in case
something like this happened?

Anim8rfsk: Well, they were supposed to sleep the whole way
Anim8rfsk: Except for like the last three days

Three weeks.

Anim8rfsk: K

And then eat what?

Anim8rfsk: By then they were supposed to be growing food on the planet

And for how long?

Anim8rfsk: I don�t know what the hell they thought they were going to do if
the planet wasn�t habitable

The cute guy did. ha ha
But once again, you do it with hydroponics
It also seemed weird that all the authority figures were in one place so they
all died

Anim8rfsk: Well, those were the fancy pods. First class. Like it would matter
to you if you were in a pod.

Did we see their pods?

Anim8rfsk: Yes
Anim8rfsk: Rows and rows and rows of them. Very 2001.

Oh, I thought those were the survicor pods

Anim8rfsk: Apparently they were in the Spinney section
Anim8rfsk: Everybody was in those pods
Anim8rfsk: But I think only the cheap seats got out in time

Pods were in both spinning sections
But like I said, they put all the mature experienced adults in one room.
That's bad planning.

Anim8rfsk: Oh, there�s no lack of bad planning

Or put them in the core, surrounded by the spinners

Anim8rfsk: They have one tiny shuttle that supposed to take everybody and
everything down to the planet

The interior part of ship
[The shuttle is ] Connected by a thether
I guess the shuttle works on bungee cord power?

Anim8rfsk: I�ve got no idea how the shuttle would work. It�s too small to put
most of the stuff they need to win there. And if they break it all down,
they�re gonna have to make literally thousands of trips.

Oh! When they did the spacewalk, they were untethered and not even wearing
magnetic boots and the exterior had nothing to hold onto.

Anim8rfsk: On a later space walk, they will Tether

"Let's just hope these jet packs work!"

Anim8rfsk: But also later, they will suddenly all get dick Tracy, wrist,
communicators

Was the leak they fixed caused by the space debris or was the ship designed
with its valves only accessable from outside the ship?
OH!

Anim8rfsk: I have no idea why you couldn�t fix the leak from the inside. It�s
obviously pointless to fix it from the outside.

When that bitch tried to sneak a shower, why didn't they lock the doors
instead of using crime scene tape and why not turn off the water to the
shwoer rooms?

Anim8rfsk: Yeah, and why didn�t they show her naked?
Anim8rfsk: Ian is really upset about that

I was so hoping the slavic security guard was going to frog march her to the
bridge without letting her get dressed.
Just to humilaite the entitled bitch


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Re: The snARK S01E01 "Everyone Wanted to Be on This Ship"

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Subject: Re: The snARK S01E01 "Everyone Wanted to Be on This Ship"
From: adela.ru...@icloud.com (Genoveva Hirthe)
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Date: 21 Mar 2023 23:44:10 +1030
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 by: Genoveva Hirthe - Tue, 21 Mar 2023 13:14 UTC

In article <tva04h$3jf7m$1@dont-email.me>, weberm@polaris.net wrote:
> After suffering a disaster, the remaining crew of spaceship
> Ark One must band together to survive.
>
>Was this a rejected CW show? It was terrible!
>
>I meant to write something more comprehesive but lost my notes or forgot.
>Here's some random thoughts and my chat with anim8rfsk while I watched.
>
>All the adults died, leaving the young adults in charge. How convenient. BTW,
>who designed this ship to place everyone in rotating chmabers on the outside
>of ship instead of the interior of the shaft portion, where they would be
>protected from space debris. Who puts all the mission critical people
>together, and why did there seem to be no chain of command or protocalls?
>
>I am not going to comment on muscle atrophy or the gravity being all wrong.
>
>I immediately noticed the stars zooming by in the windows. Ugh. I am sure the
>stars outside would chnage position, but that's ridiculous!
>
>A female lieutenant takes control and tells everyone they're a year away from
>their destination and only have a month's worth of food that was intended for
>consumption at their destination. Once again, who planned this voyage? Why
>don't they put people back into hibernation?
>
>A cute horticulturalist prodigy tells the girl in charge that he managed to
>smuggle a big crate of super-dirt onto the Ark, in case their destination is
>barren. Shouldn't he know that hydroponics is much more efficient and how he
>plans on using that super-dirt to grow crops on a barren planet? Once again,
>who planned this voyage?
>
>For some stupid reason, their life support system warns you about leaks when
>there's less than 20% of air left instead of immediately when it detects the
>leak so the bulkheads aren't dropping while you're trying to fix them. As
>soon as I saw the life support systems expert, I knew he was doomed as doomed
>can be because he's older than everyone else. It turns out he stowed aboard
>by replacing the real life support systems expert, instead of the guy who is
>in charge of changing air filters and wouldn't be noticed. Hey, he said the
>title of this ep!
>
>Two of the crew exposition that they were forbidden to be on the ship because
>they're lovers, so they lied about it. Why is it forbidden? Do they expect
>people to have bastard babies or something? How did they hide it? Oh yeah,
>why is she wearing a babushka?
>
>For dramatic reasons, the only way to fix the life support was via spacewalk.
>Making matters worse, no one was tethered and there were no ladders on the
>exterior to hold onto. I hope those jetpacks don't malfunction or experience
>operator error!
>
>Meanwhile, a blond entitled bitch decides she's going to break water curfew
>and take a shower in a deserted part of the ship. Why did they put police
>crime scene tape over the door instead of locking it and why didn't they turn
>off the water to the showers? Before she can take her secret non-naked
>shower, she gets busted by a man who had been waiting until she was turning
>on the water. Why was he loitering in the women's showers and why did he let
>her get dressed instead of frog-marching her naked to the bridge as a lesson?
>I can only assume the lingering shot of the water dripping from the not-
>quite-off shower is going to cause a water shortage in the future.
>
>Oh yeah, the boss girl killed the elder impersonator after he blabbed about
>knowing her secret. Yeah, who didn't see that one coming?

Watching people fail miserably trying to input passcodes during an emergency
will never grow old. God forbid there be a retinal or thumbprint option as
well.

Baldy McStoicPants has the competence and gravitas one appreciates in a Head
of Security and not only manages to get the door unlocked, but returns with a
helmet for the person directing the evacuation. Lt. Pissy whined about waking
up the captain after an ENTIRE CRYO BAY disintegrated. I think she's gonna
wanna know, buddy.

"My god, man, did you pay no attention in orientation?" Have you MET these
people, doc?

Aaand we start the "piss off, that's not my job" counter at 3 so far. Lt
Pissy, Lt. HotScot and now Imposter.

WHAT is with the kerchief on Babushka, ffs? Was the accent not thick enough to
scream East European? Or the outright declaration of nationality?

Chatty McTwitchy, SHUT UP. You give me a headache every time you open your
mouth. Farmer Angus is adorable.

You know, if I were an Impostor, I would try to lie low and not antagonize
everyone I talked to.

And again McStoic steps up to the plate and showerblocks Karen TitsOut. I
thought the drip of water from the shower head as they left might become
Chekov's Leak, but nothing came of it.

I like Lt Red putting Lt Pissy in his place in the farm - she's right; he had
a decent point but made an ass of himself grandstanding. He's That Guy in a
meeting that makes up stuff to complain about but never offers solutions, just
more blockers.

Trent MommyIssues is a canary in a space coal mine. Sensors haven't detected
the reduced O2 level yet, but his sensitive lungs can. Why has THE ENTIRE SHIP
lost oxygen? That's not a leak, that's explosive decompression in every
section. How many hours were they in a sealed room that they could have used
up allllll the oxygen?

Do I advance the Not My Job counter if it's Impostor again?

Aw, McStoic's first slip-up, losing a prisoner.

BSG Memorial Personnel Count: 142

1
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