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arts / alt.fan.heinlein / Re: a little courtroom humor

SubjectAuthor
* a little courtroom humora425couple
`* Re: a little courtroom humorGernot Hassenpflug
 `* Re: a little courtroom humora425couple
  `- Re: a little courtroom humorLynn McGuire

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a little courtroom humor

<s768mc020ec@news1.newsguy.com>

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From: a425cou...@hotmail.com (a425couple)
Newsgroups: alt.law-enforcement,or.politics,sci.military.naval,alt.fan.heinlein
Subject: a little courtroom humor
Date: Sat, 8 May 2021 07:54:05 -0700
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 by: a425couple - Sat, 8 May 2021 14:54 UTC

93.7 B-93 is with Connie Francis Myers and
2 others
JauctlgSnfuafnpory l5,hdngso 2g0gairec2e0d ·

-Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a question if they
aren't prepared for the answer.

In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first
witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her
and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know me?' She responded, 'Why, yes, I do
know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a boy, and
frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on
your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their
backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to
realize you'll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper
pusher. Yes, I know you.'

The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across
the room and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?'
She again replied, 'Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a
youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He
can't build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is
one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his
wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know
him.'

The defense attorney nearly died.
The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very
quiet voice, said,
'If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you both to
the electric chair.'

Re: a little courtroom humor

<yolfsysljzx.fsf@asahi-net.or.jp>

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From: gernot.h...@asahinet.com (Gernot Hassenpflug)
Newsgroups: alt.law-enforcement,or.politics,sci.military.naval,alt.fan.heinlein
Subject: Re: a little courtroom humor
Date: Wed, 12 May 2021 12:16:18 +0900
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 by: Gernot Hassenpflug - Wed, 12 May 2021 03:16 UTC

a425couple <a425couple@hotmail.com> writes:

> 93.7 B-93 is with Connie Francis Myers and
> 2 others
> JauctlgSnfuafnpory l5,hdngso 2g0gairec2e0d ·
>
> -Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a question if they
> aren't prepared for the answer.
>
> In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his
> first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He
> approached her and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know me?' She responded,
> 'Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were
> a boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie,
> you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them
> behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the
> brains to realize you'll never amount to anything more than a two-bit
> paper pusher. Yes, I know you.'
>
> The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across
> the room and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?'
> She again replied, 'Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a
> youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He
> can't build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is
> one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his
> wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I
> know him.'
>
> The defense attorney nearly died.
> The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very
> quiet voice, said,
> 'If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you both
> to the electric chair.'

Now that made my Wednesday!!
+1
--
NNTP on Emacs 25.2 from Windows 7

Re: a little courtroom humor

<s7h0n202tkv@news2.newsguy.com>

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From: a425cou...@hotmail.com (a425couple)
Newsgroups: alt.law-enforcement,or.politics,sci.military.naval,alt.fan.heinlein
Subject: Re: a little courtroom humor
Date: Wed, 12 May 2021 09:45:22 -0700
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 by: a425couple - Wed, 12 May 2021 16:45 UTC

On 5/11/2021 8:16 PM, Gernot Hassenpflug wrote:
> a425couple <a425couple@hotmail.com> writes:
>
>> 93.7 B-93 is with Connie Francis Myers and
>> 2 others
>> JauctlgSnfuafnpory l5,hdngso 2g0gairec2e0d ·
>>
>> -Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a question if they
>> aren't prepared for the answer.
>>
-----------------------
>> 'If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you both
>> to the electric chair.'
>
> Now that made my Wednesday!!
> +1
>
I am glad to read that someone liked it.

Re: a little courtroom humor

<s7i4ql$lcl$1@dont-email.me>

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From: lynnmcgu...@gmail.com (Lynn McGuire)
Newsgroups: alt.law-enforcement,or.politics,sci.military.naval,alt.fan.heinlein
Subject: Re: a little courtroom humor
Date: Wed, 12 May 2021 22:01:39 -0500
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 by: Lynn McGuire - Thu, 13 May 2021 03:01 UTC

On 5/12/2021 11:45 AM, a425couple wrote:
> On 5/11/2021 8:16 PM, Gernot Hassenpflug wrote:
>> a425couple <a425couple@hotmail.com> writes:
>>
>>> 93.7 B-93 is with Connie Francis Myers and
>>> 2 others
>>> JauctlgSnfuafnpory l5,hdngso 2g0gairec2e0d  ·
>>>
>>> -Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a question if they
>>>   aren't prepared for the answer.
>>>
> -----------------------
>>> 'If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you both
>>> to the electric chair.'
>>
>> Now that made my Wednesday!!
>> +1
>>
> I am glad to read that someone liked it.

Me too !

Lynn

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