"Optimus, check out the new Hot Rod Patrol!" says an excited Jazz, his new Action Master body glistening in the sunlight. He points at the Micromasters in question, awaiting the Autobot leader's approval.

"Sharp-looking bunch," muses a skeptical Optimus Prime. He scoops up the foursome, and the diminutive Autobots fit in the palm of his hand with room to spare. "But, can they transform?"

It's arguably a valid question, particularly after so many of their forces had recently been rendered unable to do just that, in the wake of the great Nucleon experiment.

"You bet we can!" one of the Hot Rod Patrol assures him. "We're Micromasters!" As one, the Patrol quickly shifts into their miniature robot forms, flying away to meet their destiny.

This was the only media introduction we would ever get for the Micromaster Hot Rod Patrol—about ten seconds of animated footage from a thirty-second toy commercial. Many others didn't even get this much.

Where a number of the early Micromaster Patrols were featured in the pages of Marvel Comics, the Hot Rod Patrol came too late to be included (and writer Simon Furman seemed far more interested in writing about his favorite legacy characters like Ratchet and Grimlock and Galvatron than in shilling new toys). So, they're among the Transformers toys I only know from catalog appearances and eBay photos rather than their participation in any stories or adventures.

BIG DADDY
"We can take the Decepticons anytime, anywhere!"

In an effort to break away a little from contemporary vehicles, the Hot Rod Patrol was Hasbro's first foray into Transformers who turned into vintage automobiles. Big Daddy was a '57 Chevy Bel Air, one of the most iconic cars from the time period. (James Bond drove a black '57 Bel Air in the film Dr. No from 1962; Fast Freddy drove a purple one with a cool flame job in the 1989 version of Catch Me if You Can.) Big Daddy is two inches long, black with light grey windows and red flames painted on the sides (the prototype version shown on his packaging has yellow flames).

His transformation is basically Swindler from the Race Car Patrol, in which the rear of the car unfolds to become the legs, and the hood of the car swings down to become the robot's chest. As a robot, he's two inches tall, with a bright orange now serving as his secondary color.

As a robot, the hood chest protrudes rather prominently. It's also held down only with plastic knobs, probably as an alternate design idea to mitigate the large, ungainly hinges on some of the early Micromaster cars. In fact, my Big Daddy is missing the hood altogether, which I didn't realize when I bought the toys on eBay. Gonna have to find me a replacement.

Big Daddy got an update as a full-sized Transformer as part of the Walmart-exclusive "Allspark Power" assortment in 2007. He was later rechristened Daddy-O when he was downsized back to Micromaster and released for Earthrise in 2020.

Big Daddy is a odd name for a Transformer, in a toy line filled with fun G.I. Joe-style code names like Shockwave and Scattershot and Bombshell, but the irony of such a diminutive toy getting such a name is funny, and the dated slang terminology fits the 1950's aesthetic perfectly.

GREASER
"I dig watching Decepticons crack up after I cross the finish line first!"

Greaser is an orange Ford 1932 Deuce Coupe. By the 1960's, the car was already a vintage icon in its own right. The Beach Boys famously sang about the car in 1963 (it was referred to as the "deuce" coupe because of the numeral two in its release year), and Bruce Sprinsteen's "Blinded by the Light" in 1973 makes references to being "revved up like a douce" which refers to the same car. The model was popular with hot rod builders due to its wide availability and being relatively cheap.

His name sort of works as having a double meaning, because it could refer to the type of grease used to lubricate mechanical vehicle parts, or the copious amounts of vasoline that men used to slick down their hair in the popular pompadour hairstyles of the day—just look at any photos of Elvis Presley from the era.

The toy is slightly under two inches in length, orange with yellow side flames on the doors, and blue-painted windows. (The prototype version on the toy package shows yellow flames painted on the front fenders instead.) The car's super-deformed proportions are almost absurdly comical, with a visible six-cylinder engine that covers most of the front windshield.

His transformation is most like that of Highjump, where the rear of the vehicle unfolds into the legs while the nose of the car folds down and forms the back of the robot. Like Highjump, his robot arms are itty-bitty struts that fold down on either side, tiny Terrorcon-like appendages. It looks like he's wearing his legs backwards, though. The fronts of the legs are the hollow side, with visible gaps and no discernible toes. I almost feel like he must have been originally designed to face the other way, until somebody realized the front fenders would get in the way of his arms, and so they just flipped him 'round the other way and called it a day.

In this respect, he reminds me of the G2 Laser Rod named Volt, who was designed for his robot mode to face in one direction, but his box art and official instructions show him facing completely the other way (which puts his thumbs on backwards).

Slightly under two inches in height, he shares Big Daddy's orange and black colors. I just can't get over his crazy backwards legs. They're so wrong on every discernible level. I know this toy is much too small for them to have included a rotating waist, but still. Maybe the Action Masters didn't kill the toy line after all. Maybe it was this guy.

HUBS
"I enjoy burnin' rubber over Decepticon metal!"

Hubs is a green 1941 Willys Americar, and was a popular target to be modified into a hot rod, but for very different reasons than the Deuce Coupe. The car routinely broke down, and Willys-Overland Motors was less than helpful in providing repairs or replacement parts, so the modding community was basically forced into rebuilding the cars—to the point where it's almost impossible now to find a factory-issue Americar that hasn't been modded in some shape or form.

Hubs is 1.75" in length as a vehicle, and his bright green hue with its orange flame job and blue windows is very much at home with the vibrant colors of the 1990 product line. His supercharged engine is so large that it actually hangs over the edges of his hood by a significant margin. But, I love his rounded curvature, and it's so different than most Transformers cars we tend to get.

He transforms the same as Big Daddy, with the rear of the car forming the feet and the middle section of the hood becoming the chest. He's got gigantic shoulder towers and tiny little forearms, and I almost feel like they should have sculpted his fists on top of the shoulders so they could have reversed the orientation of his arms. It would have looked more natural, certainly.

As a robot, he's 2.25" in height if you count the shoulders (he makes Greaser look absolutely tiny, and for a Micromaster, that's sayin' somethin'). He's green with eggshell white as a secondary color, and a red-painted face.. The shape of the bonnet piece on his chest is shaped almost like a popped shirt collar, which fits the theme of the Patrol perfectly. His copyright stamp is plainly visible on his robot chest, which is almost unheard of. They really should have made an effort to hide it on the inside of his leg or some other such place.

TRIP-UP
"If you're not driving to win, don't drive at all!"

Trip-Up is a 1960-era Ford Mustang, another automobile icon that has appeared in numerous racing films. Notably, the '68 Mustang GT Fastback appeared in Bullitt starring Steve McQueen, and a '67 Mustang was featured in the much more recent The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift.

Trip-Up is eggshell white (he shares colors with Hubs) with blue painted flames on the side doors and gold-painted windows. Like the others, his rear wheels are significantly larger than his front wheels, a feature that these Micromasters share with Micro Machines, which at the time were Galoob's competing toy line, and were likely the influence behind Micromasters to begin with (which were originally christened as "Micro Transformers"). He's 1.75" long in car mode.

He shares the same transformation scheme with Big Daddy and Hubs, where the rear of the vehicle unfolds into the legs and the hood swings down to form the chest. His chest is just held on with plastic bumps and likes to pop off. I vastly prefer the oversized hinges, because they at least resulted in toys that didn't fall apart at the drop of a hat.

As a robot, he stands at about two inches at the head, but nearly 2.5" at the shoulders. He's shaped a lot like Swindler, only Swindler's head is mounted much higher on the body. This guy looks like he's retracting his head like a turtle, because he's not turtley enough for the turtle club or something.

Trip-Up got an update in 2020 for the Earthrise toy line, in which he looked substantially less like a turtle.

Well, I was pleased to get this set for $30, but perhaps the missing piece on Big Daddy is the true reason I got such a great deal. I'll see what can be done about that. But, in the meantime, they're fun little toys. There are so many Micromasters I've never gotten to experience before this year, and it's awesome how much I've succeeded in building up my collection (even replacing a lot of my old ones that I colored with permanent markers as a kid... once a customizer, always a customizer, one supposes).

On Saturday, September 3, 2022 at 2:06:15 PM UTC-7, Zobovor wrote:

> "Sharp-looking bunch," muses a skeptical Optimus Prime. He scoops up the foursome, and the diminutive Autobots fit in the palm of his hand with room to spare.

I wonder how big that makes them in 'real' life. If they fit in Action Master Optimus Prime's hand and Tommy Kennedy fit in Powermaster Optimus Prime's hand, then the Micromasters are 'really' the size of 1:12 scale R/C cars then?

> BIG DADDY
> "We can take the Decepticons anytime, anywhere!"
> GREASER
> "I dig watching Decepticons crack up after I cross the finish line first!"
> HUBS
> "I enjoy burnin' rubber over Decepticon metal!"
> TRIP-UP
> "If you're not driving to win, don't drive at all!"

These names are definitely so bad they're good. The mottos imply these guys think that racing Decepticons is how to beat them, which is true in a way but I got so used to techs describing physical violence and murdering the opponent that these seem to be more competition than war.

On Monday, September 5, 2022 at 12:04:15 PM UTC-6, evil.king.m...@gmail.com wrote:

> I wonder how big that makes them in 'real' life. If they fit in Action Master Optimus Prime's hand and Tommy Kennedy fit in Powermaster Optimus Prime's hand, then the Micromasters are 'really' the size of 1:12 scale R/C cars then?

It would be weird if the Micromasters were even smaller than a teenaged boy!

You can't really take the commercials as gospel. There's that one commercial where Powermaster Optimus Prime opens up his hand to reveal an entire Micromaster city. But, I think he must be carrying the tiny Hasbro toys based on the "real" Micromasters.

In the first commercial appearance of the Micromasters, the Race Car Patrol and Off-Road Patrol speed into the Decepticon base, which is being guarded by Piranacon, and they're all like the size of his toe claws. Darkwing and Dreadwind are too shocked to react, and Mudslinger drives right up Darkwing's body, and he's like the size of the Decepticon symbol on Darkwing's chest.

There's another commercial where we see most of the Rescue Patrol, and Stakeout and Red Hot and Fixit are all driving down a paved road. Stakeout and Red Hot can fit side-by-side on a single traffic lane, so that seems to make them roughly half the size of a normal car, at best. Of course, that's assuming this isn't a special road that was built specifically for Micromasters.

In the commercial where Bumblebee and Jazz capture the Skystalker vehicle, the Micromasters who pop out of it are tiny. Like, human-sized or smaller. But, it's also hard to say how big Optimus and Bumblebee and Jazz are. Is Pretender Bumblebee bigger than normal Bumblebee?

In the commercial where Action Master Megatron grabs the combined forms for Missile Master and Moonrock as well as the Road Burner and Wheel Blaze vehicle, and they're like toy trucks in his hands. But, again, how big is Action Master Megatron?

Results are inconclusive. Marvel Comics, meanwhile, tends to depict the Micromasters as roughly half the size of normal Transformers like Ratchet or Megatron, which means they're not really any bigger or smaller than, say, Bumblebee.

> These names are definitely so bad they're good. The mottos imply these guys think that racing Decepticons is how to beat them, which is true in a way but I got so used to techs describing physical violence and murdering the opponent that these seem to be more competition than war.

A lot of the Micromasters seem to have philosophies related to racing. Many of them lack strength or firepower, so I guess going really fast is just about all they can do. A lot of the early Patrol bio cards talk about how the Micromasters serve as the first wave of troops to scout the terrain before the heavy hitters arrive and do the actual fighting. If the Micromasters want to be able to hold their own in a battle with normal-sized Autobots and Decepticons, they really have to man a large vehicle like Skyhopper or Groundshaker does, I guess.

Zob (getting downvoted over on Reddit and it's really bothering me for some reason)