Hollywood suffered several body blows this year.

Yes, �Top Gun: Maverick� delivered on its hype, and superhero fatigue
evidently hasn�t set in given the gonzo box office for �Black Panther:
Wakanda Forever� and �Thor: Love and Thunder.�

The year�s awards season contenders got pummeled at the box office, though,
and the streaming revolution kept many glued to their couches. So did woke
busts like �Strange World� and �Lightyear.�

The year also delivered some classic clunkers, films that made the movie-
going experience a burden. The worst of the worst arrived with plenty of
fanfare, but even one of Hollywood�s most intriguing directors couldn�t
prevent it from topping 2022�s worst list.

Nope

Jordan Peele shocked everyone by uncorking 2017�s �Get Out,� a horror film
mocking liberal elites in the most delicious way possible. His follow-up,
2019�s �Us,� couldn�t match that debut�s shock value but included smart
scares and thoughtful, Left-leaning commentary.

Peele�s third film finds him abandoning his woke messaging for a tale with an
intriguing first act. A mysterious force lurks in the sky, and it�s up to a
family of horse trainers, led by Daniel Kaluuya and Keke Palmer, to stop it
from crushing their ranch and possibly much more.

The lo-fi effects aren�t the problem here. Palmer�s character is irritating
to the core, while Kaluuya has trouble staying awake on screen. We know the
feeling. The finale is a dud for the ages, blending head-scratching character
choices and dread-free confrontations.

Suddenly Peele�s directorial promise has a decided M. Night Shyamalan vibe.
Did Peele peak with his first major hit like Shyamalan did with �The Sixth
Sense?�

Marry Me

Rom-coms are currently on life support thanks to absurd plot gimmicks and a
fear of old-school romance. This 2022 debacle helps explain the genre�s sorry
state of affairs.

Jennifer Lopez plays a pop princess prepping to marry her pop prince during a
sold-out show. She learns, mid-performance, he�s been cheating on her. She
decides to select a random dude out of the audience (Owen Wilson, who should
have known better than to take this gig) to marry instead.

Yes, that�s the actual plot of the film. Really. Suffice to say, matters
don�t improve from there.

Clerks III

Remember when it was cool to watch movie nerds debate �Star Wars� lore on the
big screen? Kevin Smith�s 1994 indie smash �Clerks� ran with that theme, but
every third YouTube channel now provides that service.

That left Smith scrambling for both relevance and a reason to reunite his old
�Clerks� crew one more time. He found neither in this cinematic stink bomb.

Forever clerks Randal and Dante (Jeff Anderson, Brian O�Halloran) shoot a
movie about their days behind the counter after Randal recovers from a near-
fatal heart attack. The jokes are few, the sentimentality would embarrass a
Hallmark movie buff, and the sequel smells like a misguided attempt to revive
Smith�s glory days.

The Lair

Director Neil Marshall delivered one of the best monster movies in recent
memory with 2005�s �The Descent.� The Brit has been working steadily ever
since, never coming close to that modern classic in the process. Think
�Hellboy,� �Centurion,� �Doomsday,� and �The Reckoning.�

�The Lair� marks a low point not just for Marshall but for the horror genre.
A Mary Sue-style heroine (Charlotte Kirk) battles nasty creatures who have
staked out a base in modern-day Afghanistan.

Now, Kirk�s character and a rogue�s gallery of forgettable soldiers must
subdue both the monsters and atrocious, even by B-movie standards, dialogue.

The only positive note about �The Lair?� No socio-political lecturing between
the dumb action scenes and dumber monster battles.

Me Time

Kevin Hart needs a heart-to-heart chat with his agent. He�s one of the
industry�s most likable talents, but he routinely chooses projects beneath
those talents. Fellow critics threw his other Netflix original, �The Man from
Toronto,� under the bus, too.

�Me Time� offers an example of his terrible decisions. He�s cast as an
emasculated dad who reunites with his buddy (Mark Wahlberg) for some extreme
adventures. Laughs? Forget about it. This strained affair offers a sly
premise but never becomes the rip-roaring buddy comedy it wants to be.

The Munsters

This Netflix original proves writer/director Rob Zombie loves the classic
�60s sitcom as much as we do. So why did he update its gimmick in such
slipshod fashion?

It�s not a casting issue. Sheri Moon Zombie, the director�s wife/muse, oozes
sweetness as Lily Munster, while Jeff Daniel Phillips nails Herman�s cornball
shtick.

The film�s aesthetic � cheap neon hues and cut-rate production design � only
hints at the debacle in motion. Prepare to sit, stone-faced, as the hard-
working stars scramble to replicate the source material�s deft touch.

They/Them

The horror film�s title is darn near brilliant (it�s pronounced �They � Slash
� Them�). Everything else about the Peacock thriller is a train wreck.

The uber-woke story follows LGBTQ+ campers dropped off at a deprogramming
camp run by Kevin Bacon. So why is Bacon�s character so kind, so tolerant? Is
it an act, or are there other threats lurking on the camp grounds?

You won�t care. The film�s progressive bona fides are off the charts, but
audiences have little tolerance for a film lacking tension, horror-style
kills, or other genre necessities. It�s a bore, something no horror film
should be.

Run Sweetheart Run

The 2019 comedy �Booksmart� set the standard for super-woke movie making.
�Run Sweetheart Run� begs to differ.

This brain-dead thriller follows a woman (Ella Balinska) who goes on a, �it�s
not a date, but what is it?� business meeting with a client. Before the night
ends she�s on the run, said client hot on her trail.

What follows is a clumsy pastiche of feminism gone wild, victimhood on
steroids, and other progressive platitudes. How woke is it? Even The New York
Times called foul on the film. �We get it: The male villain is a stand-in for
the patriarchy, and for women, it�s an uphill battle just to survive. No need
to bludgeon us over the head with it.�

--
Let's go Brandon!

Thor was awful. MCU needs a complete reboot almost as much as the DCU at this point.

On Friday, December 16, 2022 at 7:33:31 AM UTC-5, Ubiquitous wrote:

> Nope
>
Yup. I liked it

On 2022-12-16 20:24:05 +0000, T987654321 said:
>
> Thor was awful. MCU needs a complete reboot almost as much as the DCU
> at this point.

Nothing EVER needs an idiotic "reboot"!! Most of the superhero
characters certainly do not need yet another version of their origin
story made.

If the writers, directors, producers, and actors are crap, then get new
ones who actually know what they're doing. If the franchise isn't "good
enough" for Hollyweird's greedy ass management, then they should simply
leave it alone for the fans to enjoy - the fans like it as it is!!

On 12/16/22 2:53 PM, william ahearn wrote:
> On Friday, December 16, 2022 at 7:33:31 AM UTC-5, Ubiquitous wrote:
>
>> Nope
>>
> Yup. I liked it

I'm not sure how much that helps but I'd certainly take your opinion
over Pubie's any day of the week.

Your Name <YourName@YourISP.com> wrote:

> Nothing EVER needs an idiotic "reboot"!! Most of the superhero
> characters certainly do not need yet another version of their origin
> story made.

Unfortunately, studios see reboots and/or remakes as a sure-fire way to
bring in new generations of viewers into the fold. Also in their mind,
any longer sequels automatically exclude anyone how didn't happen to see
the original.

There of course are notable exceptions, like what Marvel has been doing.
--
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