Not quite sure how to categorise this, it's so short the explanation is longer than the text...

After recent discussions on here, I was thinking about Transformers with animal alt modes and wondering why they would be constructed in the first place. Especially since a number of them correspond to Earth animals, even though it rarely makes sense that the character would have acquired them on Earth.

But, many years ago, I was messing around with how I could fit Airachnid (who I loved on TF Prime) into the G1 universe. My idea was that during the Golden Age, she was a big game supplier, capturing life-forms from across the galaxy and bringing them to Cybertron hunting resorts, where aristocrats could pay for the thrill of hunting and killing them.

Logical next step: in wartime, she becomes a consultant on the creation of primitives / alt beast-modes.

Less-logical next step: Write a monologue of Airachnid giving her professional advice, and thus account for the Terrorcons and Decepticon headmasters.

Notes before 'story': I had to take into account that Airachnid's hunting career would have been in Earth's Miocene era, after the dinosaurs but before an awful lot of modern species. However, everything not of Earth has some canon reference (all but one is G1 cartoon). I'll be disappointed if Zobovor doesn't spot them all. Everybody else can just have fun with it.

Velvet Glove (and now for something completely different)

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"The clichés are what the laybots call ick-yaks and shrikebats. Sauria are common lifeforms throughout the galaxy, and it's also easy to find variations on the flock of winged predators trope. Honestly, you can take anything that isn't a raptor and call it a shrikebat, the punters will lap it up. But for me, the real intrigue is in diversity. Look deep enough, and evolution can get *really* twisted.

"As far as novelty value goes, you can't do better than an Algean beast… Somewhere, somehow in that global family tree, conjoined twins became the norm, and now you've got multiple two-headed species to pick from on that planet. Caught your eye, hmm? So sorry to disappoint, but they look worse than they are. If you want bite as well as menace, you'll need to look at more standard types. The most fashionable landforms have always been felids and canids. They're classics for a reason: beautiful creatures but also wonderful predators. A pack of either will keep you busy for a whole day. I used Delta Pavonis Four as my stock for those—you'll note an excellent range of both, to suit all appetites.

"For the really discerning palate, have a browse of my Helios III bestiary. I used to call that one my cornucopia—beautifully diverse planet, evolutionary chain going all the way to mammals, but the important thing was that they had some truly *huge* creatures. That's what nobles with hunter fantasies want to see when they're over-compensating. The crocodilians were my reliable money-spinner, of course—everybody loves a reptile—but Helios III could stock a full range of scenarios. Megalodon for underwater, raptor for air—and this giant primate was a particular crowd-pleaser. It's the arms and legs, of course, just enough resemblance that it becomes an organic perversion of *us*. But I took professional pride in its genuine violence and danger. One of those would usually rip a limb off their hunter—*but* it would badly injure itself doing so, making it a relatively easy kill afterwards. That was our golden rule: Give your aristocrats the thrill but don't actually kill them. It was bad for business, regrettably.

"Here's an insider tip since you're more open to fatality: Everybody focuses on the carnivores, but for my money, the herbivores are worse. Those big scary monsters everybody knows? They just lacerate—it's an easy repair job. Herbivores *pulverise*. Their teeth are literally made to grind things to a pulp. See this one here? Doesn't look like much, does it? Pulls down trees to eat their leaves… In mainstream terms: boring. But remember that safari at Kalis where that Crystal City pretty-bot died? This is what killed him. Terrible aesthetics, but it's big, strong and has a mouth large enough to get hold of an entire head. Sentimental favourite of mine, but they were banned after that."