I've been posting a bit on a retro future project I've been working on, and have been getting some feedback. Here's something I just worked up, a "storyboard" from much, much further into the story than I am, with really just one revision for the science. As a consequence, there's spoilers for characters I may or may not have even introduced. Feel free to tell me if the science checks out and if anything makes sense at all. Here's a link for the latest chapter if you want to try to sort things out.
https://trendytroodon.blogspot.com/2022/11/fiction-space-guys-adventure-part-6.html

Anastasia passed Tanya without a thought. The other woman loped past. “Wait,” she said, almost calling out. She turned in time to see her disappear up the ladder to the communications control cabin. She turned back to follow her.

Yuri and Yates were working side by side at the communications board. A dozen screens showed feeds from Earth and inside the ship. Old Yuri didn’t turn as the hatch opened. “You’re early,” he said. There was no answer. He turned, already reaching for his sidearm.

Yates never turned at all.

Tanya shut the hatch behind her as she descended. For good measure, she applied a low-power charge to the wheel that worked the hatch. As she did, she looked over her shoulder, and found Anastasia staring up.

Anastasia did not run, because she was a born Martian. Instead, she swung from the bars and handholds lining the corridor on all sides. She was silent, because screaming could wait until she knew who would be on her side. That probably stopped Tanya from firing as she followed.

Donald was in the outer chamber of the reactor room when the feed on the screen went blank. “That’s odd,” he said. He spoke to Randall on the other side of the door. “I’m going to take a look.” As an afterthought, he reached for the spare radiation suit.
The science module was small compared to the ship, only 30 meters wide and 40 long. Viewed from the inside, however, it was a vast enclosed void. Anastasia steeled herself as she pointed an argon fire extinguisher at the door behind her. She smiled and pumped the handle, just as Tanya came through.

The blast sent Anastasia hurtling through the expanse. She shrieked in terror as her course yawed back and forth, barely controlled enough to avoid a collision with the semirigid shell. There was another cry from Tanya as she launched herself after her quarry, just as Donald opened the door.

In the control cabin, old Yuri raised his head, surely for the last time. One half of his face was scorched beyond recognition. Only one eye remained to survey the screens. Most of the feeds were dead, but one showed the interior of the science module from above. Two figures were traversing it, the first just passing the midpoint. “Ana,” he said. He slumped back down again, a moment before his hand slammed down on a button marked EMERGENCY BRAKING.

Across the fuselage, rockets flared, slowing the ship and jolting it upward.. In the science module, several things seemed to happen simultaneously. The women both began to slow in their courses, until Tanya appeared frozen in place. Anastasia slammed into the frame of the door before the same could happen to her, instead recoiling back toward her pursuer. Don caught her with a suited arm. She started to slip until she caught hold of his collar. Tanya grabbed for her heel, but Don hauled her up as the other woman began to fall back.

Tanya drew her pistol then. At least one bolt struck the door frame. Another struck Don in the shoulder without perceptible harm. A third struck him in the back as he moved to shield Ana, drawing a cry from him as it burned through his suit. The rest of the clip went wide as she hurtled backward. She shrieked in frustration and then in terror as she dropped back, to land with an anticlimactic clong that sent ripples through the inner fabric. “Sorry,” Donald said, then slammed the door shut.

On Tuesday, November 15, 2022 at 5:13:46 PM UTC-5, David Brown wrote:
> I've been posting a bit on a retro future project I've been working on, and have been getting some feedback. Here's something I just worked up, a "storyboard" from much, much further into the story than I am, with really just one revision for the science. As a consequence, there's spoilers for characters I may or may not have even introduced. Feel free to tell me if the science checks out and if anything makes sense at all. Here's a link for the latest chapter if you want to try to sort things out.
> https://trendytroodon.blogspot.com/2022/11/fiction-space-guys-adventure-part-6.html
>
> Anastasia passed Tanya without a thought. The other woman loped past. “Wait,” she said, almost calling out. She turned in time to see her disappear up the ladder to the communications control cabin. She turned back to follow her.
>
> Yuri and Yates were working side by side at the communications board. A dozen screens showed feeds from Earth and inside the ship. Old Yuri didn’t turn as the hatch opened. “You’re early,” he said. There was no answer. He turned, already reaching for his sidearm.
>
> Yates never turned at all.
>
> Tanya shut the hatch behind her as she descended. For good measure, she applied a low-power charge to the wheel that worked the hatch. As she did, she looked over her shoulder, and found Anastasia staring up.
>
> Anastasia did not run, because she was a born Martian. Instead, she swung from the bars and handholds lining the corridor on all sides. She was silent, because screaming could wait until she knew who would be on her side. That probably stopped Tanya from firing as she followed.
>
> Donald was in the outer chamber of the reactor room when the feed on the screen went blank. “That’s odd,” he said. He spoke to Randall on the other side of the door. “I’m going to take a look.” As an afterthought, he reached for the spare radiation suit.
> The science module was small compared to the ship, only 30 meters wide and 40 long. Viewed from the inside, however, it was a vast enclosed void. Anastasia steeled herself as she pointed an argon fire extinguisher at the door behind her. She smiled and pumped the handle, just as Tanya came through..
>
> The blast sent Anastasia hurtling through the expanse. She shrieked in terror as her course yawed back and forth, barely controlled enough to avoid a collision with the semirigid shell. There was another cry from Tanya as she launched herself after her quarry, just as Donald opened the door.
>
> In the control cabin, old Yuri raised his head, surely for the last time. One half of his face was scorched beyond recognition. Only one eye remained to survey the screens. Most of the feeds were dead, but one showed the interior of the science module from above. Two figures were traversing it, the first just passing the midpoint. “Ana,” he said. He slumped back down again, a moment before his hand slammed down on a button marked EMERGENCY BRAKING.
>
> Across the fuselage, rockets flared, slowing the ship and jolting it upward. In the science module, several things seemed to happen simultaneously. The women both began to slow in their courses, until Tanya appeared frozen in place. Anastasia slammed into the frame of the door before the same could happen to her, instead recoiling back toward her pursuer. Don caught her with a suited arm. She started to slip until she caught hold of his collar. Tanya grabbed for her heel, but Don hauled her up as the other woman began to fall back.
>
> Tanya drew her pistol then. At least one bolt struck the door frame. Another struck Don in the shoulder without perceptible harm. A third struck him in the back as he moved to shield Ana, drawing a cry from him as it burned through his suit. The rest of the clip went wide as she hurtled backward. She shrieked in frustration and then in terror as she dropped back, to land with an anticlimactic clong that sent ripples through the inner fabric. “Sorry,” Donald said, then slammed the door shut.
Entering super nitpicky mode, some of it probably from entering in mid-story and trying to make sense of it. You have "up the ladder" and later "descended" in what is soon revealed to be freefall. This does have precedent in pre- and early-space age visual representation, if that's what you intend..

Hope the "bolts" from the clips in the sidearms are low-penetration. On the other hand, it would be a bit more horrifying to be hit by something that will burn through your suit, or scorch your face beyond recognition. And communications are armed on duty? Rough ship.

Hard to tell what Donald has been looking at on the screen. From the situation, I'm guessing something to do with what Randall is doing in the next room, as some safety protocol at least. I would expect a fuller report than, "That's odd," and, "I'm going to take a look," given the implication that he is going all the way to the communications cabin.

For my own visualization, the science module is about the size of the infield diamond of a baseball field (in metric terms, half a hockey rink). I'll give it a minimum "height" of 20m. "Two dimensional thinking," as Spock said. Here's where I reveal how slow on the uptake I am; it didn't occur to me until I started typing this up that Ana wanted reaction mass to continue dodging as a target while crossing the 30 or 40 meters in a more-or-less straight line.

I'm not sure of any space emergency that would require quick access to an EMERGENCY BRAKING button, but as the plot moves you.

--
-Jack

On Wednesday, November 16, 2022 at 8:19:12 AM UTC-7, jack....@gmail.com wrote:
> On Tuesday, November 15, 2022 at 5:13:46 PM UTC-5, David Brown wrote:
> > I've been posting a bit on a retro future project I've been working on, and have been getting some feedback. Here's something I just worked up, a "storyboard" from much, much further into the story than I am, with really just one revision for the science. As a consequence, there's spoilers for characters I may or may not have even introduced. Feel free to tell me if the science checks out and if anything makes sense at all. Here's a link for the latest chapter if you want to try to sort things out.
> > https://trendytroodon.blogspot.com/2022/11/fiction-space-guys-adventure-part-6.html
> >
> > Anastasia passed Tanya without a thought. The other woman loped past. “Wait,” she said, almost calling out. She turned in time to see her disappear up the ladder to the communications control cabin. She turned back to follow her.
> >
> > Yuri and Yates were working side by side at the communications board. A dozen screens showed feeds from Earth and inside the ship. Old Yuri didn’t turn as the hatch opened. “You’re early,” he said. There was no answer. He turned, already reaching for his sidearm.
> >
> > Yates never turned at all.
> >
> > Tanya shut the hatch behind her as she descended. For good measure, she applied a low-power charge to the wheel that worked the hatch. As she did, she looked over her shoulder, and found Anastasia staring up.
> >
> > Anastasia did not run, because she was a born Martian. Instead, she swung from the bars and handholds lining the corridor on all sides. She was silent, because screaming could wait until she knew who would be on her side. That probably stopped Tanya from firing as she followed.
> >
> > Donald was in the outer chamber of the reactor room when the feed on the screen went blank. “That’s odd,” he said. He spoke to Randall on the other side of the door. “I’m going to take a look.” As an afterthought, he reached for the spare radiation suit.
> > The science module was small compared to the ship, only 30 meters wide and 40 long. Viewed from the inside, however, it was a vast enclosed void. Anastasia steeled herself as she pointed an argon fire extinguisher at the door behind her. She smiled and pumped the handle, just as Tanya came through.
> >
> > The blast sent Anastasia hurtling through the expanse. She shrieked in terror as her course yawed back and forth, barely controlled enough to avoid a collision with the semirigid shell. There was another cry from Tanya as she launched herself after her quarry, just as Donald opened the door.
> >
> > In the control cabin, old Yuri raised his head, surely for the last time. One half of his face was scorched beyond recognition. Only one eye remained to survey the screens. Most of the feeds were dead, but one showed the interior of the science module from above. Two figures were traversing it, the first just passing the midpoint. “Ana,” he said. He slumped back down again, a moment before his hand slammed down on a button marked EMERGENCY BRAKING.
> >
> > Across the fuselage, rockets flared, slowing the ship and jolting it upward. In the science module, several things seemed to happen simultaneously.. The women both began to slow in their courses, until Tanya appeared frozen in place. Anastasia slammed into the frame of the door before the same could happen to her, instead recoiling back toward her pursuer. Don caught her with a suited arm. She started to slip until she caught hold of his collar. Tanya grabbed for her heel, but Don hauled her up as the other woman began to fall back.
> >
> > Tanya drew her pistol then. At least one bolt struck the door frame. Another struck Don in the shoulder without perceptible harm. A third struck him in the back as he moved to shield Ana, drawing a cry from him as it burned through his suit. The rest of the clip went wide as she hurtled backward.. She shrieked in frustration and then in terror as she dropped back, to land with an anticlimactic clong that sent ripples through the inner fabric. “Sorry,” Donald said, then slammed the door shut.
> Entering super nitpicky mode, some of it probably from entering in mid-story and trying to make sense of it. You have "up the ladder" and later "descended" in what is soon revealed to be freefall. This does have precedent in pre- and early-space age visual representation, if that's what you intend..
>
> Hope the "bolts" from the clips in the sidearms are low-penetration. On the other hand, it would be a bit more horrifying to be hit by something that will burn through your suit, or scorch your face beyond recognition. And communications are armed on duty? Rough ship.
>
> Hard to tell what Donald has been looking at on the screen. From the situation, I'm guessing something to do with what Randall is doing in the next room, as some safety protocol at least. I would expect a fuller report than, "That's odd," and, "I'm going to take a look," given the implication that he is going all the way to the communications cabin.
>
> For my own visualization, the science module is about the size of the infield diamond of a baseball field (in metric terms, half a hockey rink). I'll give it a minimum "height" of 20m. "Two dimensional thinking," as Spock said. Here's where I reveal how slow on the uptake I am; it didn't occur to me until I started typing this up that Ana wanted reaction mass to continue dodging as a target while crossing the 30 or 40 meters in a more-or-less straight line.
>
> I'm not sure of any space emergency that would require quick access to an EMERGENCY BRAKING button, but as the plot moves you.
>
> --
> -Jack
Thanks for the feedback, I realized I hadn't specified, the science module is supposed to be round. My original idea was a perfect 100 ft/ 30 m sphere, but I decided to modify that to a sort of blimp or watermelon shape. For the rest, I had a whole middle sequence involving more of the ship and crew, but now that I've written it this way, I'm debating whether to scale it back. One of the issues was who would actually be armed which I picture as a matter of rank rather than duties. The one real scientific issue would be the "brake". That really started with what would lead to the effects on the chase, which gave me two scenarios, the other of which was the engineers completely improvising it. I decided to go with the one that involved a planned contingency, which I visualized as a last ditch measure to avoid asteroids and the like. There probably wouldn't be time, but it would presumably raise crew morale. I do have a new chapter up I may link to later.