GustavoWombat wrote:

> - Things no one should ever read. (Does it use the phrase "scepter of his manhood?")

Can confirm that none of my reading choices have used the phrase "scepter of his manhood" and now I am feeling 100% better about them. Thanks!

> But what if I lose my *sparkle*?

> When I can be bothered to work, I make my living with my mind, with my jumbled up thought processes analyzing technical solutions and listening for the tiny sounds of some thought dragging or caught on something, which is usually a sign that there is a problem, or at least a barely-known unknown, or a conclusion based on a low-confidence assumption.

> Turning down the turbulent maelstrom and getting it organized might leave me unemployable. What if I had to depend on skills like showing up, being on time and working hard?

Not to state the obvious, but it's not like you have to stay *on* the medication if you didn't like it. Also, I wouldn't worry about the getting organised part, because it certainly didn't work that way for me!

But I suppose the nice thing about ADHD is that it's almost entirely a personal call. You're not going to die if you don't medicate. Probably. (I mean, one of the reasons I like my medication is because I feel safer driving, but it's been four months now, and I've got by with caffeine if I absolutely have to do a long journey.)

Velvet Glove (who is also not the best role model employment-wise; good luck with your own journey!)

VelvetGlove wrote:

Gah! NovaBBS has a page 2! I did not see that.

> GustavoWombat wrote:

>> - Things no one should ever read. (Does it use the phrase "scepter of his manhood?")

> Can confirm that none of my reading choices have used the phrase "scepter of his manhood" and now I am feeling 100% better about them. Thanks!

There's good stuff in every genre.

Fun fact: in the mid-1990s, when I had that job, three of the publisher's top selling "women's fiction" authors were actually men, who would send either their wife or someone else out to do the book tours.

One of them was bitterly divorced several times, and still had a business relationship with his first wife who played the part of "author" for interviews.

There was also some really nice gay werewolf romance that the publisher wasn't sure what to do with. Now I want to hunt down my copy of the manuscript, and see who wrote it and if they ever got the fame and fortune they deserved.

>> But what if I lose my *sparkle*?

>> Turning down the turbulent maelstrom and getting it organized might leave me unemployable. What if I had to depend on skills like showing up, being on time and working hard?

> Not to state the obvious, but it's not like you have to stay *on* the medication if you didn't like it. Also, I wouldn't worry about the getting organised part, because it certainly didn't work that way for me!

> But I suppose the nice thing about ADHD is that it's almost entirely a personal call. You're not going to die if you don't medicate. Probably. (I mean, one of the reasons I like my medication is because I feel safer driving, but it's been four months now, and I've got by with caffeine if I absolutely have to do a long journey.)

Is there any benefit to being diagnosed if you don't get the drugs? (I would say that I'm not sure I have it, but it seems like everyone in software has ADHD, Autism or both)

> Velvet Glove (who is also not the best role model employment-wise; good luck with your own journey!)

I work for a few years, take a year off, work for a few years, take a year off. I would love a job where I get paid 75% and take three months off every fall or something, but no one seems to want to do that in my industry. Is it periodic burnout, or just a desire to actually get to enjoy life? Or both? Who can tell? (Probably a good psychologist)

GustavoWombat wrote:

> Fun fact: in the mid-1990s, when I had that job, three of the publisher's top selling "women's fiction" authors were actually men, who would send either their wife or someone else out to do the book tours.

> One of them was bitterly divorced several times, and still had a business relationship with his first wife who played the part of "author" for interviews.

That's awesome. Honestly, I think the idea that it's only women who like romance is a bit of a myth, since nearly every mainstream story has a romance in it--it's just usually one written from the male perspective, (and the female love interests in those can be every bit as unrealistic as the stereotypical male lead in a romance novel). The romance genre is really just the umbrella for love stories written from the female perspective.

> There was also some really nice gay werewolf romance that the publisher wasn't sure what to do with. Now I want to hunt down my copy of the manuscript, and see who wrote it and if they ever got the fame and fortune they deserved.

They may have ended up self-publishing on Amazon. Gay and werewolf-esque is a *huge* subgenre, but it all seems self-published.

> Is there any benefit to being diagnosed if you don't get the drugs? (I would say that I'm not sure I have it, but it seems like everyone in software has ADHD, Autism or both)

Hmm. Getting the diagnosis means you have the option of *trying* drugs. Otherwise... do you need an explanation for something? I'm also very confident I'm on the autism spectrum, having read up on it, but 'Autistic' is such an umbrella term these days, that I'm not sure it's a useful label to have. It can also be hard to get diagnosed--I raised it with a doctor several years back, and she told me that I probably wasn't autistic because I was making eye contact with her. I think she meant it to be reassuring, but instead it made me figure the diagnosis wasn't going to be worth the fight to get it.

On the other hand, I'm currently chasing a diagnosis for one of my kids, because of school issues. That's a case where the label would be helpful so he gets supported instead of being written off. As for myself, I'm taking the self-diagnosed route--I don't tend to label myself autistic, but a lot of people are aware of things like sensory issues nowadays, so I occasionally use it as an explanation of why I'm getting overwhelmed with a crowded room, or too many noise sources, or my brain otherwise spiralling etc--I just explain the issue and say I'm probably on the autism spectrum. Not sure if it helps the other person, but it makes me feel less guilty about saying anything.

> I work for a few years, take a year off, work for a few years, take a year off. I would love a job where I get paid 75% and take three months off every fall or something, but no one seems to want to do that in my industry. Is it periodic burnout, or just a desire to actually get to enjoy life? Or both? Who can tell? (Probably a good psychologist)

This sounds fantastic. And probably a healthier way for everybody to work--which is honestly true for most 'special needs' considerations.

Velvet Glove

VelvetGlove wrote:

> They may have ended up self-publishing on Amazon. Gay and werewolf-esque is a *huge* subgenre, but it all seems self-published.

This was before that. I think Amazon existed, but the self-publishing didn't.

It's a huge genre? I suppose I could just reread some other gay werewolf book...

> she told me that I probably wasn't autistic because I was making eye contact with her.

I make eyebrow contact with people, rather than eye contact. But, this is because my two closest friends each have a lazy eye, and it's far, far easier to just look at their eyebrows rather than wonder what they are looking at over my shoulder. What if it's a bear!

> On the other hand, I'm currently chasing a diagnosis for one of my kids, because of school issues. That's a case where the label would be helpful so he gets supported instead of being written off. As for myself, I'm taking the self-diagnosed route--I don't tend to label myself autistic, but a lot of people are aware of things like sensory issues nowadays, so I occasionally use it as an explanation of why I'm getting overwhelmed with a crowded room, or too many noise sources, or my brain otherwise spiralling etc--I just explain the issue and say I'm probably on the autism spectrum. Not sure if it helps the other person, but it makes me feel less guilty about saying anything.

When I was growing up, my parents took me to a hearing specialist because I never seemed to understand anything in a crowded room. After a bunch of tests, it was concluded that my hearing was perfectly fine, but that I was just really bad at separating different sounds.

I uses that as my usual explanation these days, sometimes just the lie of "I'm a little hard of hearing."

It's a big spectrum, and I might be somewhere on it, but ADHD symptoms fit better. That said, the sound of trucks backing up pierces through my soul.

Good luck getting your kid the support he needs quickly and with a minimum of insurance hassle.