Friends,

Recently Raj Kumar SaaHib posted the following shi3r under the name of Hafeez Jalandari, in the thread entitled, "Clarification needed".

https://groups.google.com/g/alt.language.urdu.poetry/c/NcrH1d7VQLU/m/qtG0prcaEAAJ

tamannaa'oN meN uljhaayaa gayaa huuN
khilonay de ke bahlaayaa gayaa huuN

Khalid Siddiqui SaaHib corrected him and stated it was not Hafeez's shi3r but its author was Shad Azimabadi. The Ghazal that it belongs to is a delightful one and I thought I would post it here for everyone's reading pleasure, but most of all for Raj Kumar SaaHib. So here it goes..

tamannaa'oN meN uljhaayaa gayaa huuN
khilone de ke bahlaayaa gayaa huuN

huuN us kuuche ke har zarre se vaaqif*
udar se muddatoN** aayaa gayaa huuN

nahiiN uThte qadam kyoN jaanib-i-dair
kisii masjid meN bahkaayaa gayaa huuN

dil-i-muztar se puuchh ai raunaq-i-bazm
maiN aap aayaa nahiiN laayaa gayaa huuN

saveraa hai bahut ai shor-i-maHshar
abhii be-kaar uThvaayaa gayaa huuN

sataayaa aa ke pahroN aarzuu ne
jo dam-bhar aap meN paayaa gayaa huuN

nah thaa maiN mu3taqid i3jaaz-i-mai kaa
baRii mushkil se manvaayaa gayaa huuN

laHd meN kyoN nah jaa'uuN muNh chhupaa'e
bharii maHfil se uThvaayaa gayaa huuN

3adam meN kis ne bulvaayaa hai mujh ko
kih haathoN-haath pahuNchaayaa gayaa huuN

kujaa maiN aur kujaa ai Shad dunyaa
kahaaN se kis jagah laayaa gayaa huuN

* also "aagaah"
** also "3umr-bhar"
...................................................................................

Naseer

On Saturday, May 1, 2021 at 5:07:37 AM UTC-7, Naseer wrote:
> Friends,
>
> Recently Raj Kumar SaaHib posted the following shi3r under the name of Hafeez Jalandari, in the thread entitled, "Clarification needed".
>
> https://groups.google.com/g/alt.language.urdu.poetry/c/NcrH1d7VQLU/m/qtG0prcaEAAJ
>
> tamannaa'oN meN uljhaayaa gayaa huuN
> khilonay de ke bahlaayaa gayaa huuN
>
> Khalid Siddiqui SaaHib corrected him and stated it was not Hafeez's shi3r but its author was Shad Azimabadi.

***maHram-e-arz-o-samaa, saaHib-e-fahm-o-zakaa, vaaqif-e-nutq-o-navaa, janaab-e-Naseer saaHib:

paRhiye ga mera Khat to zaraa dekh bhaal ke
kaaGhaz meN rakh diyaa hai kalejaa nikaal ke :-)

Huzuur, jis baat ka izhaar aap ne apne Khat ki tamhiid meN kiyaa hai, voh baat agar apni pichhli laRii hi meN maHfuuz rahti to kyaa harj tha? aap ne aek na'ii laRii Khaaksaar ki nazr kar ke is baat ko dunyaa ke kone kone meN nashr kar diyaa hai. ab har ko'ii yihii kahe ga k yeh Qais naami shaKhs baat karne se pahle use toltaa kyuuN nahiiN? goyaa, aap ke is Ghair-zaruuri amal ne Khaaksaar ki rahii sahii tauqeer ko bhi supurd-e-Khaak kar diyaa hai. Huzuur, aap mere mazhab ka paas karte huye, ise agar nazr-e-aatish karte to kitna achchha hota! :-)

taaham, aap ke is amal ka aek chamkeelaa ruKh (ya'ani-k, a bright side) bhi hai aur voh yeh k aap ne mere (aaj se bees saal pahle kahe huye) qaul-e-zarriiN ko saHiiH saabit kar diyaa hai ---- vuhi qaul jis ka zikr-e-pur-fikr Khaaksaar ne chaNd roz qabl ALUP par kiyaa thaa:

saare jahaaN meN Qais kii shohrat to ho chukii
jii chaahataa hai, ab zaraa rusvaaiyaaN bhi hoN :-)

ilaava-aziiN, aap ki is sitam-zareefii par aek fil-badii'a she'r hu'aa hai; gar qubuul uftad

rusvaa-e-dahr kar ke yuuN Qais-e-Ghareeb ko
ai SARWAR-e-ALUUP, bataa tujh ko kyaa milaa?*** :-)

> The Ghazal that it belongs to is a delightful one and I thought I would post it here for everyone's reading pleasure, but most of all for Raj Kumar SaaHib.
So here it goes..
>
***janaab-e-man, maiN is Ghazal par kuchh na kuchh zaruur kahuuN ga magar aisa tabhi ho sake ga jab aap mujhe is taraH sar-e-aam rusvaa karne ki ko'ii ma'aquul vajah bataa'eN ge --- varna maiN laHza-ba-laHza dam-ba-dam ghuT ghuT ka jaan deta rahuuN ga. kisii na kyaa Khuub kahaa hai:

Qais ke paas le de ke ik jaan thii
voh bhi aisii k har dam nikaltii rahii

aap ka dukhii dost,
Raj Kumar aka Qais-e-HazeeN***

Raj Kumar SaaHib, aadaab.

On Thursday, 6 May 2021 at 23:59:14 UTC+1, Raj Kumar wrote:
> On Saturday, May 1, 2021 at 5:07:37 AM UTC-7, Naseer wrote:
> > Friends,
> >
> > Recently Raj Kumar SaaHib posted the following shi3r under the name of Hafeez Jalandari, in the thread entitled, "Clarification needed".
> >
> > https://groups.google.com/g/alt.language.urdu.poetry/c/NcrH1d7VQLU/m/qtG0prcaEAAJ
> >
> > tamannaa'oN meN uljhaayaa gayaa huuN
> > khilonay de ke bahlaayaa gayaa huuN
> >
> > Khalid Siddiqui SaaHib corrected him and stated it was not Hafeez's shi3r but its author was Shad Azimabadi.
> ***maHram-e-arz-o-samaa, saaHib-e-fahm-o-zakaa, vaaqif-e-nutq-o-navaa, janaab-e-Naseer saaHib:
>
> paRhiye ga mera Khat to zaraa dekh bhaal ke
> kaaGhaz meN rakh diyaa hai kalejaa nikaal ke :-)

aap ne apne xatt kaa aaGhaaz Lala Rakha (rakkhaa) Ram Barq ke shi3r kii tarmiim-shudah shakl se kiyaa hai aur saath hii is amr kaa bhii izhaar kiyaa hai kih maiN ise kuchh ziyaadah saNjiidagii se nah luuN. lekin maiN jyuuN jyuuN xat paRhtaa gayaa merii tashviish qadre baRhtii ga'ii! Raj Kumar SaaHib saNjiidah haiN yaa vaise hii mere jazbaat se ThaTThe-baazii kaa muzaahirah kar rahe haiN? is kaa javaab sariiH-an nah de sakaa. aarzuu yahii thii kih yih sab kuchh ThaThol-pan hai.

3aashiq kaa xat hai paRhnaa zaraa dekh bhaal ke
kaaGhaz pih rakh diyaa hai kalejaa nikaal ke
> Huzuur, jis baat ka izhaar aap ne apne Khat ki tamhiid meN kiyaa hai, voh baat agar apni pichhli laRii hi meN maHfuuz rahti to kyaa harj tha? aap ne aek na'ii laRii Khaaksaar ki nazr kar ke is baat ko dunyaa ke kone kone meN nashr kar diyaa hai. ab har ko'ii yihii kahe ga k yeh Qais naami shaKhs baat karne se pahle use toltaa kyuuN nahiiN? goyaa, aap ke is Ghair-zaruuri amal ne Khaaksaar ki rahii sahii tauqeer ko bhi supurd-e-Khaak kar diyaa hai. Huzuur, aap mere mazhab ka paas karte huye, ise agar nazr-e-aatish karte to kitna achchha hota! :-)
>

Huzuur-i-vaalaa, har pahluu ke do rux hote haiN. aap tasviir kaa ek ruup pesh kar rahe haiN jab kih pas-i-tasviir ek aur chihrah pinhaaN hai! aap ne zaahir ko to bhaaNp liyaa lekin baatin tak nahiiN ga'e. aap ne apnii Ghalatii kaa izhaar, bilaa kisii taHammul ke, faur-an kar diyaa. kuchh log hote haiN jin kii anaa unheN Ghalatii maan_ne se maani3 rakhtii hai aur vuh apnii haT-dharmii par qaa'im rahte haiN. aap apnii a3laa-zarfii kaa subuut dete hu'e ham sab par yih vaaziH kar rahe haiN kih Ghalatii to kisii se bhii ho saktii hai kyoNkih bandah bashar hai lekin Ghalatii kaa i3tiraaf har kisii ke bas kaa rog nahiiN jab kih aap sar-i-3aam is bhuul ko ba-baaNg-i-duhal maan rahe haiN!

Qais ke mazhab meN "nazr-i-aatish" hone/karne kii "riit" nahiiN paa'ii jaatii balkih SaHraa-SaHraa navardii ke ba3d "ret" hii ke Tiile milte haiN. nazr-i-aatish to tab 3amal-paziir ho agar ba-taur-i-iindhan lakRii dast-yaab ho! SaHraa meN yih jins-i-naa-yaab kahaaN?!:-)

> taaham, aap ke is amal ka aek chamkeelaa ruKh (ya'ani-k, a bright side) bhi hai aur voh yeh k aap ne mere (aaj se bees saal pahle kahe huye) qaul-e-zarriiN ko saHiiH saabit kar diyaa hai ---- vuhi qaul jis ka zikr-e-pur-fikr Khaaksaar ne chaNd roz qabl ALUP par kiyaa thaa:
>
> saare jahaaN meN Qais kii shohrat to ho chukii
> jii chaahataa hai, ab zaraa rusvaaiyaaN bhi hoN :-)

yih shi3r to aap ne 3ilm-i-tabii3iyaat ke xitaab ke ba3d paRhaa thaa jab kih dauraan-i-xitaab yaqiin-an aap "zarroN" par baHs kar rahe hoN ge. kyaa yih mumkin thaa kih aap irshaad farmaate

saare jahaaN meN Qais kii shuhrat to ho chukii
jii chaahtaa hai kih ab zarrah-fishaa(N)'iyaaN nah hoN

> ilaava-aziiN, aap ki is sitam-zareefii par aek fil-badii'a she'r hu'aa hai; gar qubuul uftad
>
> rusvaa-e-dahr kar ke yuuN Qais-e-Ghareeb ko
> ai SARWAR-e-ALUUP, bataa tujh ko kyaa milaa?*** :-)

yih ilzaam to kuchh ziyaadah hii saNgiin hai!:-) savaal yih nahiiN honaa chaahiye balkih "merii Ghalatii ke i3tiraaf kii qadr-daanii kar ke aap ko kyaa milaa?"

aap kii 3izzat-o-vaqaar meN izaafah!

> > The Ghazal that it belongs to is a delightful one and I thought I would post it here for everyone's reading pleasure, but most of all for Raj Kumar SaaHib.
> So here it goes..
> >
> ***janaab-e-man, maiN is Ghazal par kuchh na kuchh zaruur kahuuN ga magar aisa tabhi ho sake ga jab aap mujhe is taraH sar-e-aam rusvaa karne ki ko'ii ma'aquul vajah bataa'eN ge --- varna maiN laHza-ba-laHza dam-ba-dam ghuT ghuT ka jaan deta rahuuN ga. kisii na kyaa Khuub kahaa hai:
>
> Qais ke paas le de ke ik jaan thii
> voh bhi aisii k har dam nikaltii rahii
>
> aap ka dukhii dost,
> Raj Kumar aka Qais-e-HazeeN***

aap kii mere tavassut se 3izzat-afzaa'ii kii vujuhaat to maiN ne aap ke saamhne rakh dii haiN. ab aap inheN qubuul kar leN to mere liye baa3is-i- sad-iftixaar ho gaa!:-)

Naseer