The Horny Goat <lcraver@home.ca> wrote:
> On Thu, 16 Feb 2023 18:32:04 -0700, anim8rfsk <anim8rfsk@cox.net>
> wrote:
>
>> I’m really hoping Janeway gets them all killed.
>
> Isn't that what happens when the series ends? Apparently not since we
> hear later Janeway got them home and gets a promotion for her efforts.
>

Janeway got (at least) everybody in the alpha quadrant killed. The people
that promoted her are all alternate versions.

>> Think of their trip as Canada. 2500 miles of country with a city on either
>> end. They’re thinking if they don’t keep moving they’ll miss the other
>> side. And hoping maybe there’s a city nobody ever told them about in the
>> middle where they can stop.
>
> I've got news for you - 2500 miles doesn't even get you from Vancouver
> to Toronto much less to the east coast. 1/2 way yes (Vancouver -> St
> Johns NF is 4600+ miles) but barely.

Well, they are stuck halfway. :-)

>
> That's why Canada has two time zones east of Eastern Standard time.
> (Of course AK and HI have their own time zones but they're not part of
> the continental US)
>
>>
>>>
>>>> The only one who knows how to fix the engines is the same woman who is
>>>> the only one who knows how to fix the water reclamation unit. Not to
>>>> mention she's the one who broke the engines in the first place.
>>>
>>>> Glasses girl gets both god and science wrong.
>>>
>>>> It's the Ark's drift that is moving it in front of the asteroid (which
>>>> is in turn coming at them at tremendous speed). They are drifting? When
>>>> did that start? And Shirley they must have some sort of thrusters. If
>>>> they move the thing a mile in any direction, that should do it.
>>>
>>>> There's an incredibly stupid commercial about how comic book companies
>>>> don't hire Black people. It doesn't actually end with anybody saying
>>>> that's wrong or the guy whose story it is getting a job. He just says
>>>> his mother was nice about it. WTF?
>>>
>>>> Close-up of the Ark. Ian is so lucky to be able to watch this in 4K!
>>>
>>>> The idiot doctor (who slept through somebody stealing all her drugs on the
>>>> other side of a curtain) says that she has to do a physical on the guy
>>>> whose hand was eaten away by space diamonds because his file was corrupted.
>>>> They have six hours to live. And she's insisting she needs to do physicals.
>>>
>>> They couldn't even pay to have a graphic of the medical file made up. It
>>> was all blurry. Also, I wondered if she were seeing things from all the
>>> drugs she's taken, which should have made her heart stop by now.
>>>
>>
>> Hopefully that’s the first drug she’s taken although frankly, I’m wondering
>> if she’s the one who stole them in the first place.
>>
>>
>>>> Hey! They're finally in the gigantic room where they got the pre-lift
>>>> off peptalk! It's all full of comfy couches where people are sitting
>>>> and chatting like they were in a shopping mall before the stores
>>>> opened.
>>>
>>> In the backstory, I thought that was on the base, not in the ship
>>> itself. I'm confused.
>>
>> I thought that was the base at first as well but the woman who gave the
>> speechifying said something about “you’ll be traveling on this here ship.
>> We are standing on right this moment“
>>
>> So now, I’m wondering why we didn’t see it in present time in the first two
>> episodes. I thought sure it must’ve taken a hit. But they just didn’t use
>> it even though they had it.
>>
>>
>>>
>>>> The odds of being hit by an asteroid just drifting in space are one in
>>>> 700,326. Because that makes sense.
>>>
>>>> Actually, the odds of you being hit by an asteroid 4/5 of the way between
>>>> Earth and Proxima B are absolutely zero. Also, they got so tired of saying
>>>> Proxima B that now they just call it Prox B.
>>>
>>> This was explained in the ship's announcement: "Because the universe is
>>> out to get us."
>>
>> And I am right there with the universe.
>>
>> See, the point is, there aren’t any asteroids outside soul system. There
>> may be hunks of rock, but they aren’t by definition asteroids. Part of the
>> definition of “asteroid“ is that it’s in the system!
>>
>>>
>>>> With four hours to go it occurs to them that they have shuttles. Lots and
>>>> lots of shuttles, or just a few with unlimited fuel supplies since they
>>>> were going to use them to take all 300 people down to the planet. Also,
>>>> another shot of the ship from below shows there are domes all over the
>>>> place facing in all different directions.
>>>
>>>> Turns out there's only one shuttle. The shuttle isn't berthed, it just
>>>> hangs down below from the super structure. Which means you don't have
>>>> to uncouple it from the ark. You can just use the engines as they are.
>>>> There would be no possible reason to unattach it, and fly around and
>>>> look for a place on the Ark to shove and use it in a way other than it
>>>> was intended. I haven't watched the next segment yet, but I am taking
>>>> bets.
>>>
>>> Why was the shuttle attached to the structure? Is that because it's
>>> supposed to be used as a maintenance craft for the ship's hull? I don't
>>> see how it's usable in an emergency.
>>
>> The purpose of the shuttle is to take all 300 people down to the planet,
>> leaving just a skeleton crew on the Ark in orbit. That’s why I assumed
>> there would be more than one. That stupid little thing is going to take all
>> the people and all the equipment down to the planet.
>>
>> So they leave it sticking out where it’s completely vulnerable instead of
>> at least sticking a wall in front of it.
>>
>>
>>>
>>>> The shuttle won't start! It turns out various people have been
>>>> scavenging it for parts to fix other systems. And yet it didn't occur
>>>> to any of them that it was actually there. Also, there doesn't seem to
>>>> be any way to get to the shuttle from the Ark in the first place.
>>>
>>> Yeah. It looked like you had to take a space walk to get on board. It
>>> made no sense.
>>
>> Later shots made it look like maybe there was an umbilical. You could get
>> to it through. But every piece of equipment on the arc must break down
>> pretty small.
>>
>>
>>>
>>>> The parts are not plug and play which means they're going to have to
>>>> re-calibrate everything even though they're taking the original parts and
>>>> putting them back where they got them in the first place and even though
>>>> they're talking about stuff like fuel hoses.
>>>
>>> That hose sure needed a lot of careful recalibration.
>>
>> He said he put silicone sealant on it? He didn’t even put a clamp on it!
>> Just a piece of hose right by your foot, that the entire fuel supply for
>> the shuttle runs through.
>>
>> I’ve only seen a stupider set up once, and it was on Tales of the Gold
>> Monkey. There was a little fuel gauge next to the pilot, and he realized
>> it was stuck so he flicked it with his finger, and it instantly emptied
>> out, and the engines stopped in mid air. He proclaimed that all the fuel
>> they had left was what had been in the gauge.
>>
>> What the hell? They had 1 ounce of fuel left and they’ve been flying on it
>> for hours? If he hadn’t flicked it, could they have gone on flying
>> indefinitely?
>>
>> I swear that’s the live action equivalent of Wiley coyote walking on air
>> until he looks down and realizes he’s thousands of feet above the canyon
>> floor.
>>
>>
>>>
>>>> Plan C is to blow a hole in the hull and let the escaping air pressure push
>>>> them out of the way. Because they don't have airlocks I guess.
>>>
>>> Saved the cost of building another set.
>>
>> But they have the airlock sets already!
>>
>>
>>>
>>>> Luckily the missing shuttle fuel hose, a standard 1 foot length of
>>>> translucent plastic hose available at any auto parts store they have in
>>>> Serbia, attaches right underneath the command chair so they don't have to
>>>> build another set. But the shuttle doesn't start so the pilot tells the
>>>> guy who is trying to fix it to stop fixing it because... I have no idea. Nor
>>>> do I have any idea why he thought it would start when there's a guy right
>>>> next to him still fixing it in the first place.
>>>
>>>> The missing power coupler is returned! Why did they think it would start
>>>> without that? Luckily it attaches right behind the command chair so they
>>>> don't have to build another set. But the shuttle still won't start.
>>>
>>>> Until the pilot kicks it! And it starts! And then it stops again.
>>>
>>> Shouldn't that have been a huge hint that there was a loose connection
>>> in the vicinity of where he kicked it?
>>
>> Well, he did somehow fix it…
>>
>>
>>>
>>>> In the shower room, where they're going to blow a hole in the hull because
>>>> there aren't any doors that open to space like airlocks, the worthless
>>>> cargo people are having a dance party. The ginger robot beats them up and
>>>> gives them three seconds to clean up their mess and get out. Of course,
>>>> they just leave without cleaning up any mess because three seconds.
>>>
>>>> They've made a fertilizer bomb out of the people they've gotten killed so
>>>> far because there are no explosives on the Ark because why would you
>>>> possibly need explosives to start a colony on an unknown world? They attach
>>>> the bomb to what is clearly not an exterior wall.
>>>
>>>> KA-BOOM!
>>>
>>> Now they won't be able to grow any food and they'll starve. They didn't
>>> even discuss consequences.
>>
>> Well, they lost their entire ability to grow food when they stuck that one
>> foot long hose back in the shuttle.
>>
>>
>>>
>>>> They blow a hole! Now that we can see the explosion from the outside, it
>>>> comes out from what should have been the floor. But they stuck the bimb on
>>>> the wall. Which means they've got gravity going at 90 deg to how it should.
>>>> Also, I don't think I'd have blown a hole in the rotating section.
>>>> Certainly not my first choice. And certainly not without calculations, as
>>>> to when to set it off!
>>>
>>> There was an X on the wall. How can that not have been in just the right
>>> spot?
>>
>> Oh, no! The idiot has blown up the pirate treasure!
>>
>>
>>>
>>>> Hey, the nerdy botanist who built the bomb looks just like Boz in RIPTIDE!
>>>> Think he'll build a robot next?
>>>
>>>> They decide not to make a ship wide announcement that they're setting off a
>>>> bomb, because that would scare people more than a big kaboom out of
>>>> nowhere.
>>>
>>>> It worked, the asteroid will now miss them by 586 m.
>>>
>>>> Meanwhile the shuttle pilot has fixed the shuttle and run all the way to
>>>> the command deck to tell them he's ready to use the shuttle to move the
>>>> Ark. Because he's forgotten they have an intercom.
>>>
>>>> Girl with the glasses, in the nose of the ship, suddenly realizes the
>>>> "asteroid" has a tail. She runs to the bridge to tell them the asteroid has
>>>> a tail! Because she's forgotten they have an intercom.
>>>
>>> Boy was that dramatic.
>>
>> At least when Alison Brie runs in slow motion it’s hot.
>>
>> Hey, if Alison Brie married Brie Larson, would she be Allison Larson?
>>
>>>
>>>> It's a comet! And they get entirely wrong why comets have tails. Anyway,
>>>> that means it's made of ice and ice is made of water and therefore the
>>>> comet is drinkable. But how can they get the water? They have "miles and
>>>> miles" of ship to ship refueling hose aboard! What? Why? There isn't
>>>> another ship. And their engines are nuclear. What the hell were they going
>>>> to pump through refueling hose? And why have they been cannibalizing
>>>> working systems for hose?
>>>
>>> Aren't those hoses full of fuel?
>>
>> I’m sure they clean them out by running lots of extra water through them
>>
>>
>>>
>>> I was confused as to why the water just flowed. It was pressurized. I
>>> wanted it to come out as ice cubes.
>>
>> I thought way too long and hard about this. He can’t have a heating device
>> because if he heated the surface, his little landing leg clamps wouldn’t
>> have anything to hang onto.
>>
>> No, what he did was drill into the asteroid/comet, which was ice on the
>> outside, but liquid water on the inside. And then he sucked out the chewy
>> liquid center and pumped it back to the Ark. because there’s a transfer
>> pump system already built into that stupid little shuttle. Just for an
>> occasion such as this.
>>
>> That’s about the point I fell into complete despair.
>>
>>
>>>
>>>> They must match speed and course with the comet! But how? They don't have
>>>> engines! They think about this for a while because they've all forgotten
>>>> the shuttle. Already.
>>>
>>>> OMG. Girl with glasses explains that the tiny shuttle can get the ark
>>>> moving at the fantastic velocity of the comet because they're in space. And
>>>> I quote:
>>>
>>>> "Lieutenant Brice is using the shuttle like a booster rocket to accelerate
>>>> the Ark up to the comet's velocity"
>>>
>>>> "OK but how can something so small get us moving so fast?"
>>>
>>>> "We're in space. There's no gravity, no friction or resistance. Size
>>>> doesn't matter, just force."
>>>
>>>> Apparently there's no mass, either. She goes on to explain further and even
>>>> cites the laws of physics. As Bugs Bunny once said "I never studied law".
>>>
>>> Heh
>>>
>>>> The accelerating shuttle can only bring the ark up to 87% of the comet's
>>>> incredible velocity. But that should be enough for the miles and miles of
>>>> fueling hose to hook them together and drag the Ark up the rest of the way.
>>>
>>>> Oh my God. My eyes and ears are starting to bleed.
>>>
>>> 87% of the speed of the comet explains why they could only fill up the
>>> water tank 90%.
>>>
>>
>> Oh God. I wish you hadn’t said that. Because you might be right.
>>
>> Also, won’t they just hemorrhage the water out into space through the hole
>> in the shower floor/wall?
>>
>>
>>>> When Bryce detached the shuttle from the ark, he accidentally pushed the
>>>> Ark the other way, and now the incredible strain will tear the shuttle
>>>> apart! But in the meantime, they are pumping water. I have no idea where
>>>> they're getting water from because, you know, comet made of ice.
>>>
>>>> Also, the other end of the fueling hose in the ark is just open to the
>>>> compartment the people are in and pouring water that's splashing on them
>>>> because it's moving water so it must be safe to drink.
>>>
>>> How many times do we have to go through this on Usenet? Water that flows
>>> is safe to drink. I'll ask clouddreamer to explain it to you.
>>
>> And why doesn’t the chewy liquid water center of the comet freeze instantly
>> when it’s pumped to the surface anyway?
>>
>> Also, if they’re at 97% capacity I bet the miles and miles and miles of
>> hose full of water is enough to top it off anyway.
>>
>>
>>>
>>>> There's a lot of drama as the people on the ark think 97% of water capacity
>>>> is OK but Brice holds out for 100! Then he starts the engines while he's
>>>> facing the wrong way but they don't actually do anything until he turns
>>>> around. And the asteroid, I mean comet hurdles away from the Ark, even
>>>> though they had matched speed and velocity, because... Oh, hell I give up.
>>>
>>>> They all just start drinking the water. No reason to test it.
>>>
>>>> Ginger robot slinks away. Hot blonde finally shows up. She throws off her
>>>> clothes and has another non-naked shower scene, this time with water.
>>>
>>>> But why did Ginger robot slink away? Oh, I bet she'd shoot off sparks and
>>>> explode if she drank water.
>>>
>>>> They recover some of the stolen drugs, which were apparently being used in
>>>> the shower party. Now the overtired only doctor left alive on board can
>>>> have a drug problem!
>>>
>>> You didn't see that coming.
>>
>> I seriously didn’t. I don’t think she mentioned stimulants.
>>
>>
>>>
>>>> Hot blonde wears a wig to cover that her head is all one big burn from
>>>> getting caught in a UV storm a few years ago. Luckily it didn't affect any
>>>> part of her that's not covered by a wig.
>>>
>>> I thought it was a fire or cancer. That makes no sense at all.
>>>
>>
>> Nope. And how did she pass the preflight physical anyway?
>>
>>
>>>> We find out there is a rule that no existing couples could be on the same
>>>> ark because genetic diversity. Because that makes sense.
>>>
>>> Hey! They said in dialogue that it made no sense. Clearly there was some
>>> evil fertility doctor using his own seed to create all those babies.
>>>
>>
>> Ripped from the headlines of law & order! At least twice!
>>
>> The worst part is they apparently think if there aren’t any pre-existing
>> couples on the Ark, nobody will hook up. Isn’t filling the ark with single
>> people more, not less, likely to promote hook ups? I would actually go for
>> that explanation!
>>
>>
>>>> With five minutes to go, Cox cable locks up.
>>>
>>>> During the lock up, the guy who wants to be, but shouldn't be captain got a
>>>> secret video from the guy who was murdered in the first episode. It shows
>>>> the ginger robot killed a guy in a bar who was trying to rape her. That's
>>>> the big secret? Who cares?
>>>
>>> Did you see the way she fought him? I'm buying your robot theory.
>>>
>>
>> Yes. Now we have to watch to see if she ever eats or drinks or showers.
>>
>>
>>>> Next week nobody mentions almost lightspeed engines. And apparently they've
>>>> completely forgotten that they are now going the wrong direction at the
>>>> incredible velocity of the comet.
>>>
>

--
The last thing I want to do is hurt you, but it is still on my list.