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I try to keep an open mind, but not so open that my brains fall out. -- Judge Harold T. Stone


aus+uk / uk.d-i-y / OT: Retirement

SubjectAuthor
* OT: RetirementChris Hogg
+- Re: OT: RetirementSysadmin
+- Re: OT: RetirementJim Stewart ...
`- Re: OT: RetirementHarry Bloomfield Esq

1
OT: Retirement

<vtt16ht8peimrivcjgi2s8aune3d3vga8s@4ax.com>

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https://www.novabbs.com/aus+uk/article-flat.php?id=49600&group=uk.d-i-y#49600

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Path: i2pn2.org!i2pn.org!weretis.net!feeder8.news.weretis.net!3.eu.feeder.erje.net!feeder.erje.net!fu-berlin.de!uni-berlin.de!individual.net!not-for-mail
From: me...@privacy.net (Chris Hogg)
Newsgroups: uk.d-i-y
Subject: OT: Retirement
Date: Thu, 21 Apr 2022 07:24:45 +0100
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 by: Chris Hogg - Thu, 21 Apr 2022 06:24 UTC

Forwarded to me by a friend:

I have everything that I wanted as a teenager, only 60 years later. I
don't have to go to school or work. I get an allowance every month. I
have my own pad. I don't have a curfew. I have a driver's license and
my own car. The people I hang around with are not scared of getting
pregnant and I don't have acne. Life is great. I changed my car horn
to gunshot sounds. People get out of the way much faster now.
Gone are the days when girls used to cook like their mothers. Now they
drink like their fathers.
I didn't make it to the gym today. That makes five years in a row. I
decided to stop calling the bathroom "John" and renamed it the "Jim".
I feel so much better saying I went to the Jim this morning.
Old age is coming at a really bad time.
When I was a child I thought "nap time" was a punishment. Now it feels
like a small vacation.
The biggest lie I tell myself is... " I don't have to write that down,
I'll remember it".
I don't have gray hair... I have "wisdom highlights"! I'm just very
wise.
If God wanted me to touch my toes, He would've put them on my knees.
Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven't met
yet.
Why do I have to press one for English when you're just going to
transfer me to someone I can't understand anyway?
Of course, I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice.
At my age "Getting Lucky" means walking into a room and remembering
what I came In there for.
I have more friends I should send this to, but right now I can't
remember their names.
Now, I'm wondering... did I send this to you, or did you send it to
me?

--
Chris

Re: OT: Retirement

<t3r1qn$eqk$2@dont-email.me>

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https://www.novabbs.com/aus+uk/article-flat.php?id=49613&group=uk.d-i-y#49613

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Path: i2pn2.org!i2pn.org!eternal-september.org!reader02.eternal-september.org!.POSTED!not-for-mail
From: jon...@home.net (Sysadmin)
Newsgroups: uk.d-i-y
Subject: Re: OT: Retirement
Date: Thu, 21 Apr 2022 07:41:11 -0000 (UTC)
Organization: A noiseless patient Spider
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 by: Sysadmin - Thu, 21 Apr 2022 07:41 UTC

On Thu, 21 Apr 2022 07:24:45 +0100, Chris Hogg wrote:

> Forwarded to me by a friend:
>
> I have everything that I wanted as a teenager, only 60 years later. I
> don't have to go to school or work. I get an allowance every month. I
> have my own pad. I don't have a curfew. I have a driver's license and my
> own car. The people I hang around with are not scared of getting
> pregnant and I don't have acne. Life is great. I changed my car horn to
> gunshot sounds. People get out of the way much faster now.
> Gone are the days when girls used to cook like their mothers. Now they
> drink like their fathers.
> I didn't make it to the gym today. That makes five years in a row. I
> decided to stop calling the bathroom "John" and renamed it the "Jim". I
> feel so much better saying I went to the Jim this morning.
> Old age is coming at a really bad time.
> When I was a child I thought "nap time" was a punishment. Now it feels
> like a small vacation.
> The biggest lie I tell myself is... " I don't have to write that down,
> I'll remember it".
> I don't have gray hair... I have "wisdom highlights"! I'm just very
> wise.
> If God wanted me to touch my toes, He would've put them on my knees.
> Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven't met
> yet.
> Why do I have to press one for English when you're just going to
> transfer me to someone I can't understand anyway?
> Of course, I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice.
> At my age "Getting Lucky" means walking into a room and remembering what
> I came In there for.
> I have more friends I should send this to, but right now I can't
> remember their names.
> Now, I'm wondering... did I send this to you, or did you send it to me?

I am so old all my friends are dead.

Re: OT: Retirement

<t3r32j$ooh$2@dont-email.me>

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https://www.novabbs.com/aus+uk/article-flat.php?id=49617&group=uk.d-i-y#49617

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Path: i2pn2.org!i2pn.org!eternal-september.org!reader02.eternal-september.org!.POSTED!not-for-mail
From: kinvig.n...@ntlworld.com (Jim Stewart ...)
Newsgroups: uk.d-i-y
Subject: Re: OT: Retirement
Date: Thu, 21 Apr 2022 09:02:27 +0100
Organization: A noiseless patient Spider
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 by: Jim Stewart ... - Thu, 21 Apr 2022 08:02 UTC

On 21/04/2022 07:24, Chris Hogg wrote:
> Forwarded to me by a friend:
>
> I have everything that I wanted as a teenager, only 60 years later. I
> don't have to go to school or work. I get an allowance every month. I
> have my own pad. I don't have a curfew. I have a driver's license and
> my own car. The people I hang around with are not scared of getting
> pregnant and I don't have acne. Life is great. I changed my car horn
> to gunshot sounds. People get out of the way much faster now.
> Gone are the days when girls used to cook like their mothers. Now they
> drink like their fathers.
> I didn't make it to the gym today. That makes five years in a row. I
> decided to stop calling the bathroom "John" and renamed it the "Jim".
> I feel so much better saying I went to the Jim this morning.
> Old age is coming at a really bad time.
> When I was a child I thought "nap time" was a punishment. Now it feels
> like a small vacation.
> The biggest lie I tell myself is... " I don't have to write that down,
> I'll remember it".
> I don't have gray hair... I have "wisdom highlights"! I'm just very
> wise.
> If God wanted me to touch my toes, He would've put them on my knees.
> Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven't met
> yet.
> Why do I have to press one for English when you're just going to
> transfer me to someone I can't understand anyway?
> Of course, I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice.
> At my age "Getting Lucky" means walking into a room and remembering
> what I came In there for.
> I have more friends I should send this to, but right now I can't
> remember their names.
> Now, I'm wondering... did I send this to you, or did you send it to
> me?
>
stop peeing on me

Re: OT: Retirement

<t3rogg$g8$1@dont-email.me>

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https://www.novabbs.com/aus+uk/article-flat.php?id=49674&group=uk.d-i-y#49674

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Path: i2pn2.org!i2pn.org!eternal-september.org!reader02.eternal-september.org!.POSTED!not-for-mail
From: a...@harrym1byt.plus.com (Harry Bloomfield Esq)
Newsgroups: uk.d-i-y
Subject: Re: OT: Retirement
Date: Thu, 21 Apr 2022 15:08:15 +0100
Organization: A noiseless patient Spider
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 by: Harry Bloomfield Esq - Thu, 21 Apr 2022 14:08 UTC

Chris Hogg submitted this idea :
> I have more friends I should send this to, but right now I can't
> remember their names.
> Now, I'm wondering... did I send this to you, or did you send it to
> me?

Like it!

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