...... not to make stupid jokes here any more.....

...... oh damn!

Tone

In article <sr72eg$66r$1@dont-email.me>, Tone <email@address.com> on
Thu, 6 Jan 2022 at 15:39:01 awoke Nicholas from his slumbers and wrote
>..... not to make stupid jokes here any more.....
>
>
>
>
>
>
>..... oh damn!
>
>Tone

I always make a New Year's Resolution not to make a New Year's
Resolution.

Oh well
--
0sterc@tcher -

"Où sont les neiges d'antan?"

You mean like the ones we get in crackers?
I'm sure some of them this year had a translation issue from the foreign.
One such was.
What do you call a two legged Cow, Answer Lean Beef.

Doctor, a rabbit bit my finger, I think it might be broken.
doctor said, no its only a hare line crack.

Brian

--

This newsgroup posting comes to you directly from...
The Sofa of Brian Gaff...
briang1@blueyonder.co.uk
Blind user, so no pictures please
Note this Signature is meaningless.!
"Tone" <email@address.com> wrote in message
news:sr72eg$66r$1@dont-email.me...
> ..... not to make stupid jokes here any more.....
>
>
>
>
>
>
> ..... oh damn!
>
> Tone

I think as we get older, we begin to feel that it might be time to grow old
disgracefully.
Brian

--

This newsgroup posting comes to you directly from...
The Sofa of Brian Gaff...
briang1@blueyonder.co.uk
Blind user, so no pictures please
Note this Signature is meaningless.!
"Nicholas D. Richards" <nicholas@salmiron.com> wrote in message
news:qvU1DxAhj31hFAx1@salmiron.com...
> In article <sr72eg$66r$1@dont-email.me>, Tone <email@address.com> on
> Thu, 6 Jan 2022 at 15:39:01 awoke Nicholas from his slumbers and wrote
>>..... not to make stupid jokes here any more.....
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>..... oh damn!
>>
>>Tone
>
> I always make a New Year's Resolution not to make a New Year's
> Resolution.
>
> Oh well
> --
> 0sterc@tcher -
>
> "O� sont les neiges d'antan?"

"Brian Gaff \(Sofa\)" <briang1@blueyonder.co.uk> wrote in news:sr8tlp$quh
$1@dont-email.me:

> You mean like the ones we get in crackers?
> I'm sure some of them this year had a translation issue from the
foreign.
> One such was.
> What do you call a two legged Cow, Answer Lean Beef.
>
>
> Doctor, a rabbit bit my finger, I think it might be broken.
> doctor said, no its only a hare line crack.

I'm not sure it's a language problem, more a target-audience thing. I
don't think that cracker-joaks are aimed at world-weary old snegs like
me. (Not that I'm suggesting that any other sheddi are world-weary, or an
old sneg.)

--
Peter
-----

On Fri, 7 Jan 2022 08:31:13 -0000, "Brian Gaff \(Sofa\)"
<briang1@blueyonder.co.uk> wrote:

>I think as we get older, we begin to feel that it might be time to grow old
>disgracefully.
> Brian
I have led a good life, full of peace and quiet
I shall have an old age, full of rum and riot.
I have been a good boy, wed to work and study
I shall be an old man, ribald coarse and bloody.

I have never slit throats, even when I yearned to.
Never sang dirty songs that my fancy turned to.
I have been a nice boy, and done what was expected
I shall die an old bum, loved but unrespected.

Collected from Lemuel F. Parton
Recorded by Carl Sandburg

On 2022-01-07, Brian Gaff (Sofa) <briang1@blueyonder.co.uk> wrote:
> I think as we get older, we begin to feel that it might be time to grow old
> disgracefully.
> Brian
>

I knew one old guy that won a lotto-type prize when he was in the
retirement home. Generally, it takes two to tango.

On 7 Jan 2022 20:00:56 GMT
maus <maus@dmaus.org> wrote:

> On 2022-01-07, Brian Gaff (Sofa) <briang1@blueyonder.co.uk> wrote:
> > I think as we get older, we begin to feel that it might be time to grow
> > old disgracefully.
> > Brian
> >
>
> I knew one old guy that won a lotto-type prize when he was in the
> retirement home. Generally, it takes two to tango.

A sufficiently large bank balance is reputed to be helpful when
it comes to finding dance partners for older dancers.

--
Steve O'Hara-Smith
Odds and Ends at http://www.sohara.org/

Peter said:
> "Brian Gaff \(Sofa\)" <briang1@blueyonder.co.uk> wrote in news:sr8tlp$quh
> $1@dont-email.me:
>
>> You mean like the ones we get in crackers?
>> I'm sure some of them this year had a translation issue from the
> foreign.
>> One such was.
>> What do you call a two legged Cow, Answer Lean Beef.
>>
>>
>> Doctor, a rabbit bit my finger, I think it might be broken.
>> doctor said, no its only a hare line crack.
>
> I'm not sure it's a language problem, more a target-audience thing. I
> don't think that cracker-joaks are aimed at world-weary old snegs like
> me. (Not that I'm suggesting that any other sheddi are world-weary, or an
> old sneg.)

Perhaps it's just a production-line with quality-control problems ?
People who can come up with funny jokes get paid better elsewhere ?

Vg'f abg whfg n cngurgvp rkphfr sbe n wbxr, vg'f na Z&F cngurgvp rkphfr
sbe punetvat zber.

--
Richard Robinson
"The whole plan hinged upon the natural curiosity of potatoes" - S. Lem

My email address is at http://qualmograph.org.uk/contact.html

Yes have you heard the latest crop from Alexa?
They are nearly all jokes circulating two years back.
Brian

--

This newsgroup posting comes to you directly from...
The Sofa of Brian Gaff...
briang1@blueyonder.co.uk
Blind user, so no pictures please
Note this Signature is meaningless.!
"Richard Robinson" <richardR@privacy.net> wrote in message
news:rPSdnc422Nyi60T8nZ2dnUU78SfNnZ2d@brightview.co.uk...
> Peter said:
>> "Brian Gaff \(Sofa\)" <briang1@blueyonder.co.uk> wrote in news:sr8tlp$quh
>> $1@dont-email.me:
>>
>>> You mean like the ones we get in crackers?
>>> I'm sure some of them this year had a translation issue from the
>> foreign.
>>> One such was.
>>> What do you call a two legged Cow, Answer Lean Beef.
>>>
>>>
>>> Doctor, a rabbit bit my finger, I think it might be broken.
>>> doctor said, no its only a hare line crack.
>>
>> I'm not sure it's a language problem, more a target-audience thing. I
>> don't think that cracker-joaks are aimed at world-weary old snegs like
>> me. (Not that I'm suggesting that any other sheddi are world-weary, or an
>> old sneg.)
>
> Perhaps it's just a production-line with quality-control problems ?
> People who can come up with funny jokes get paid better elsewhere ?
>
> Vg'f abg whfg n cngurgvp rkphfr sbe n wbxr, vg'f na Z&F cngurgvp rkphfr
> sbe punetvat zber.
>
> --
> Richard Robinson
> "The whole plan hinged upon the natural curiosity of potatoes" - S. Lem
>
> My email address is at http://qualmograph.org.uk/contact.html

On 08/01/2022 12:10, Brian Gaff (Sofa) wrote:
> Yes have you heard the latest crop from Alexa?
> They are nearly all jokes circulating two years back.
> Brian
>
The new batch,then?

Most cracker jokes date from two Centuries ago.

--
Tciao for Now!

John.

Brian Gaff wrote:

> have you heard the latest crop from Alexa?
> They are nearly all jokes circulating two years back.

Better than her daring you to shove coins between mains plugs and sockets.

Tease'n'Seize <tease-and-seize@invalid> wrote in
news:FJmdnXZC1a3kC0T8nZ2dnUU78f2dnZ2d@brightview.co.uk:

> Brian Gaff wrote:
>
>> have you heard the latest crop from Alexa?
>> They are nearly all jokes circulating two years back.
>
> Better than her daring you to shove coins between mains plugs and
> sockets.
>

Something that all youngsters should try. That'll teach'em.

--
Peter
-----

Peter said:
> Tease'n'Seize <tease-and-seize@invalid> wrote in
> news:FJmdnXZC1a3kC0T8nZ2dnUU78f2dnZ2d@brightview.co.uk:
>
>> Brian Gaff wrote:
>>
>>> have you heard the latest crop from Alexa?
>>> They are nearly all jokes circulating two years back.
>>
>> Better than her daring you to shove coins between mains plugs and
>> sockets.
>>
>
> Something that all youngsters should try. That'll teach'em.

even if it leaves 'em unable to pass the lesson on ?

--
Richard Robinson
"The whole plan hinged upon the natural curiosity of potatoes" - S. Lem

My email address is at http://qualmograph.org.uk/contact.html

On 08/01/2022 14:59, Richard Robinson wrote:
> Peter said:
>> Tease'n'Seize <tease-and-seize@invalid> wrote in
>> news:FJmdnXZC1a3kC0T8nZ2dnUU78f2dnZ2d@brightview.co.uk:
>>> Better than her daring you to shove coins between mains plugs and
>>> sockets.
>>>
>>
>> Something that all youngsters should try. That'll teach'em.
>
> even if it leaves 'em unable to pass the lesson on ?
>
>
In the UK and mainland Europe, they can pass a message on about how
boring it is. The Powers That Be sorted that problem out a few decades
ago, as long as you are using compliant plugs.

--
Tciao for Now!

John.

On 08-Jan-22 12:39, John Williamson wrote:
> On 08/01/2022 12:10, Brian Gaff (Sofa) wrote:
>> Yes have you heard the latest crop from Alexa?
>>  They are nearly all jokes circulating two years back.
>>  Brian
>>
> The new batch,then?
>
> Most cracker jokes date from two Centuries ago.
>
I see that upstart Napoleon has been dealt with.
Preventing Queen Caroline from attending the coronation was a disgrace!

--
Sam Plusnet

On 07/01/2022 11:00, Peter wrote:
> "Brian Gaff \(Sofa\)" <briang1@blueyonder.co.uk> wrote in news:sr8tlp$quh
> $1@dont-email.me:
>
>> You mean like the ones we get in crackers?
>> I'm sure some of them this year had a translation issue from the
> foreign.
>> One such was.
>> What do you call a two legged Cow, Answer Lean Beef.
>>
>>
>> Doctor, a rabbit bit my finger, I think it might be broken.
>> doctor said, no its only a hare line crack.
>
> I'm not sure it's a language problem, more a target-audience thing. I
> don't think that cracker-joaks are aimed at world-weary old snegs like
> me. (Not that I'm suggesting that any other sheddi are world-weary, or an
> old sneg.)

I think they're supposed to be bad. It must take talent to come up with
things which are obviously jokes but just as obviously bad ones,
although maybe when they come up with good ones they get sold to Milton
Jones.

On Sat, 8 Jan 2022 20:53:58 +0000, Mike Fleming wrote:

> On 07/01/2022 11:00, Peter wrote:
>> "Brian Gaff \(Sofa\)" <briang1@blueyonder.co.uk> wrote in news:sr8tlp$quh
>> $1@dont-email.me:
>>
>>> You mean like the ones we get in crackers?
>>> I'm sure some of them this year had a translation issue from the
>> foreign.
>>> One such was.
>>> What do you call a two legged Cow, Answer Lean Beef.
>>>
>>>
>>> Doctor, a rabbit bit my finger, I think it might be broken.
>>> doctor said, no its only a hare line crack.
>>
>> I'm not sure it's a language problem, more a target-audience thing. I
>> don't think that cracker-joaks are aimed at world-weary old snegs like
>> me. (Not that I'm suggesting that any other sheddi are world-weary, or an
>> old sneg.)
>
> I think they're supposed to be bad. It must take talent to come up with
> things which are obviously jokes but just as obviously bad ones,
> although maybe when they come up with good ones they get sold to Milton
> Jones.

Surely they are like puns, the better (i.e worse) they are the more you
groan.
--
Jim S

On 09/01/2022 00:30, Jim S wrote:
> On Sat, 8 Jan 2022 20:53:58 +0000, Mike Fleming wrote:
>
>> On 07/01/2022 11:00, Peter wrote:
>>> "Brian Gaff \(Sofa\)" <briang1@blueyonder.co.uk> wrote in news:sr8tlp$quh
>>> $1@dont-email.me:
>>>
>>>> You mean like the ones we get in crackers?
>>>> I'm sure some of them this year had a translation issue from the
>>> foreign.
>>>> One such was.
>>>> What do you call a two legged Cow, Answer Lean Beef.
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> Doctor, a rabbit bit my finger, I think it might be broken.
>>>> doctor said, no its only a hare line crack.
>>>
>>> I'm not sure it's a language problem, more a target-audience thing. I
>>> don't think that cracker-joaks are aimed at world-weary old snegs like
>>> me. (Not that I'm suggesting that any other sheddi are world-weary, or an
>>> old sneg.)
>>
>> I think they're supposed to be bad. It must take talent to come up with
>> things which are obviously jokes but just as obviously bad ones,
>> although maybe when they come up with good ones they get sold to Milton
>> Jones.
>
> Surely they are like puns, the better (i.e worse) they are the more you
> groan.

Why do people put out rolls of tied coloured tissue paper on the
Christmas dinner table?

Because they're all crackers.

My cracker won't break!

Pull the other one.

Why is Santa so jolly?

Cos he defies gravity

Tone

Tone said:
>
> Why is Santa so jolly?
>
> Cos he defies gravity

Santa likes to get high ?

I wouldn't even have spotted that that was supposed to be 'funny' if it
wasn't for the context.

--
Richard Robinson
"The whole plan hinged upon the natural curiosity of potatoes" - S. Lem

My email address is at http://qualmograph.org.uk/contact.html

On Sat, 8 Jan 2022 20:53:58 +0000
Mike Fleming <mike@tauzero.co.uk> wrote:

> I think they're supposed to be bad. It must take talent to come up with
> things which are obviously jokes but just as obviously bad ones,

Of course they're supposed to be bad - this is to ensure that the
warring factions^W^Wextended family have something they can all agree on
apart from the weather to provide a harmless conversational filler between
eating and playing board games before falling asleep in front of the telly.

--
Steve O'Hara-Smith
Odds and Ends at http://www.sohara.org/