Sorry Julia Stiles, and no, I will not register "BlogDestroyer101" and start messaging you on Twitter...nice try.

So yeah, um, Scarlett? I'm not in paparazzi mode right now, and it's not delusional, and I'm not sorry for nicknaming you D'Carlett, blah blah blah, etc., but I'm actually in what's known as "Elite Screenwriting Genius Mode." So yeah, here's the script idea for when you do your stealthy television debut, which you thought would surprise most everyone but which I expertly predicted with my actress-understanding skills:

"Virtual Teenage CEO: Philip's Never-Ending Adventure."

Here are some cool "iterated quotes" as I have termed them (they get said a lot, like "D'oh" in The Simpsons):

- "What do you think this is, Harvard Business School Little League, Christine?"
- "GET...OUT...OF...MY OFFICE!!"
- "But Mommmm!!!" *laugh track begins*

As you can see, it's both brilliant and a bit of a work in progress. I've also actually hired Britney Spears to record "Oops! I Did It Again (Wishing That Philip He Truly Exists Remix)" as the theme song for the show.

So...do you want to be the leading love interest--no kissing scenes, I promise!--or, um...let's...let's see...I have an opening at...uh...um...hmmm...how about...actually...yeah...here we go, um...how about Producer/Director?

I await your reply.

Similarly Powerfully Yours,
Philip

On Wednesday, November 17, 2021 at 6:31:03 PM UTC-5, DV wrote:
> Sorry Julia Stiles, and no, I will not register "BlogDestroyer101" and start messaging you on Twitter...nice try.
>
> So yeah, um, Scarlett? I'm not in paparazzi mode right now, and it's not delusional, and I'm not sorry for nicknaming you D'Carlett, blah blah blah, etc., but I'm actually in what's known as "Elite Screenwriting Genius Mode.." So yeah, here's the script idea for when you do your stealthy television debut, which you thought would surprise most everyone but which I expertly predicted with my actress-understanding skills:
>
> "Virtual Teenage CEO: Philip's Never-Ending Adventure."
>
> Here are some cool "iterated quotes" as I have termed them (they get said a lot, like "D'oh" in The Simpsons):
>
> - "What do you think this is, Harvard Business School Little League, Christine?"
> - "GET...OUT...OF...MY OFFICE!!"
> - "But Mommmm!!!" *laugh track begins*
>
> As you can see, it's both brilliant and a bit of a work in progress. I've also actually hired Britney Spears to record "Oops! I Did It Again (Wishing That Philip He Truly Exists Remix)" as the theme song for the show.
>
> So...do you want to be the leading love interest--

"NO, NANCY...I am NOT Jafar from Alaqddin[*], I am the PRINCESS JASMINE to Scarlett's Jafar portrayal...are we clear on that point?"

no kissing scenes, I promise!--or, um...let's...let's see...I have an opening at...uh...um...hmmm...how about...actually...yeah...here we go, um...how about Producer/Director?
>
> I await your reply.
>
> Similarly Powerfully Yours,
> Philip

On Wednesday, November 17, 2021 at 10:45:50 PM UTC-5, DV wrote:
> On Wednesday, November 17, 2021 at 6:31:03 PM UTC-5, DV wrote:
> > Sorry Julia Stiles, and no, I will not register "BlogDestroyer101" and start messaging you on Twitter...nice try.
> >
> > So yeah, um, Scarlett? I'm not in paparazzi mode right now, and it's not delusional, and I'm not sorry for nicknaming you D'Carlett, blah blah blah, etc., but I'm actually in what's known as "Elite Screenwriting Genius Mode." So yeah, here's the script idea for when you do your stealthy television debut, which you thought would surprise most everyone but which I expertly predicted with my actress-understanding skills:
> >
> > "Virtual Teenage CEO: Philip's Never-Ending Adventure."
> >
> > Here are some cool "iterated quotes" as I have termed them (they get said a lot, like "D'oh" in The Simpsons):
> >
> > - "What do you think this is, Harvard Business School Little League, Christine?"
> > - "GET...OUT...OF...MY OFFICE!!"
> > - "But Mommmm!!!" *laugh track begins*
> >
> > As you can see, it's both brilliant and a bit of a work in progress. I've also actually hired Britney Spears to record "Oops! I Did It Again (Wishing That Philip He Truly Exists Remix)" as the theme song for the show.
> >
> > So...do you want to be the leading love interest--
> "NO, NANCY...I am NOT Jafar from Alaqddin[*], I am the PRINCESS JASMINE to Scarlett's Jafar portrayal...are we clear on that point?"
> no kissing scenes, I promise!--or, um...let's...let's see...I have an opening at...uh...um...hmmm...how about...actually...yeah...here we go, um...how about Producer/Director?
> >
> > I await your reply.
> >
> > Similarly Powerfully Yours,
> > Philip

"YES, NANCY, I AM VeRy AwArE OF THE PRINCE OF PERSIA SPELLING OF J-A-F-A-R."

On Wednesday, November 17, 2021 at 10:49:30 PM UTC-5, DV wrote:
> On Wednesday, November 17, 2021 at 10:45:50 PM UTC-5, DV wrote:
> > On Wednesday, November 17, 2021 at 6:31:03 PM UTC-5, DV wrote:
> > > Sorry Julia Stiles, and no, I will not register "BlogDestroyer101" and start messaging you on Twitter...nice try.
> > >
> > > So yeah, um, Scarlett? I'm not in paparazzi mode right now, and it's not delusional, and I'm not sorry for nicknaming you D'Carlett, blah blah blah, etc., but I'm actually in what's known as "Elite Screenwriting Genius Mode." So yeah, here's the script idea for when you do your stealthy television debut, which you thought would surprise most everyone but which I expertly predicted with my actress-understanding skills:
> > >
> > > "Virtual Teenage CEO: Philip's Never-Ending Adventure."
> > >
> > > Here are some cool "iterated quotes" as I have termed them (they get said a lot, like "D'oh" in The Simpsons):
> > >
> > > - "What do you think this is, Harvard Business School Little League, Christine?"
> > > - "GET...OUT...OF...MY OFFICE!!"
> > > - "But Mommmm!!!" *laugh track begins*
> > >
> > > As you can see, it's both brilliant and a bit of a work in progress. I've also actually hired Britney Spears to record "Oops! I Did It Again (Wishing That Philip He Truly Exists Remix)" as the theme song for the show.
> > >
> > > So...do you want to be the leading love interest--
> > "NO, NANCY...I am NOT Jafar from Alaqddin[*], I am the PRINCESS JASMINE to Scarlett's Jafar portrayal...are we clear on that point?"
> > no kissing scenes, I promise!--or, um...let's...let's see...I have an opening at...uh...um...hmmm...how about...actually...yeah...here we go, um....how about Producer/Director?
> > >
> > > I await your reply.
> > >
> > > Similarly Powerfully Yours,
> > > Philip
> "YES, NANCY, I AM VeRy AwArE OF THE PRINCE OF PERSIA SPELLING OF J-A-F-A-R."

"How would *I* like it if you started misspelling my greatly mischaracterized civilization's top villain's first name? No, no, no...Nancy, how would YOU like it if someone went to YOUR stupid Congress friends and said--wait....I've got it...."
~Phillip

On Wednesday, November 17, 2021 at 10:53:53 PM UTC-5, DV wrote:
> On Wednesday, November 17, 2021 at 10:49:30 PM UTC-5, DV wrote:
> > On Wednesday, November 17, 2021 at 10:45:50 PM UTC-5, DV wrote:
> > > On Wednesday, November 17, 2021 at 6:31:03 PM UTC-5, DV wrote:
> > > > Sorry Julia Stiles, and no, I will not register "BlogDestroyer101" and start messaging you on Twitter...nice try.
> > > >
> > > > So yeah, um, Scarlett? I'm not in paparazzi mode right now, and it's not delusional, and I'm not sorry for nicknaming you D'Carlett, blah blah blah, etc., but I'm actually in what's known as "Elite Screenwriting Genius Mode." So yeah, here's the script idea for when you do your stealthy television debut, which you thought would surprise most everyone but which I expertly predicted with my actress-understanding skills:
> > > >
> > > > "Virtual Teenage CEO: Philip's Never-Ending Adventure."
> > > >
> > > > Here are some cool "iterated quotes" as I have termed them (they get said a lot, like "D'oh" in The Simpsons):
> > > >
> > > > - "What do you think this is, Harvard Business School Little League, Christine?"
> > > > - "GET...OUT...OF...MY OFFICE!!"
> > > > - "But Mommmm!!!" *laugh track begins*
> > > >
> > > > As you can see, it's both brilliant and a bit of a work in progress.. I've also actually hired Britney Spears to record "Oops! I Did It Again (Wishing That Philip He Truly Exists Remix)" as the theme song for the show.
> > > >
> > > > So...do you want to be the leading love interest--
> > > "NO, NANCY...I am NOT Jafar from Alaqddin[*], I am the PRINCESS JASMINE to Scarlett's Jafar portrayal...are we clear on that point?"
> > > no kissing scenes, I promise!--or, um...let's...let's see...I have an opening at...uh...um...hmmm...how about...actually...yeah...here we go, um....how about Producer/Director?
> > > >
> > > > I await your reply.
> > > >
> > > > Similarly Powerfully Yours,
> > > > Philip
> > "YES, NANCY, I AM VeRy AwArE OF THE PRINCE OF PERSIA SPELLING OF J-A-F-A-R."
> "How would *I* like it if you started misspelling my greatly mischaracterized civilization's top villain's first name? No, no, no...Nancy, how would YOU like it if someone went to YOUR stupid Congress friends and said--wait....I've got it...."
> ~Phillip

Okay, Julia, I know that you are getting a little feisty about me talking to other actresses on the internet right now...but I think we both know that it was very unwise of you to send one of your pawns' cars by to get me to "Bing Ty." You might be stunned to learn that I followed your suggestion, and now my powers have doubled.

Keep trying to win the metaphorical rap battle. You will find that you cannot.

> ... and now my powers have doubled.
>

That's right, your consequence is: the only movie you'll ever be in again is Star Wars!

Disclaimer: I was just kidding about that. This post was a joke, and not messaged in the spirit of disrespect or the "actor vs. actress showdown setting." I am a nice person, and I am able to be careful about what I say. I do like people, and I think about my choices and what they lead to for me.. It won't happen again, and in fact, it never happened, because I was only kidding. It's not a big deal, let's move on from this and go back to normal. I am blameless.