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interests / rec.humor.oracle / Internet Oracularities Digest #1604

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o Internet Oracularities Digest #1604oracle-request

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Internet Oracularities Digest #1604

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https://www.novabbs.com/interests/article-flat.php?id=41&group=rec.humor.oracle#41

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From: oracle-r...@internetoracle.org
Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle
Subject: Internet Oracularities Digest #1604
Followup-To: rec.humor.oracle.d
Date: Wed, 23 Aug 2023 15:03:03 -0000 (UTC)
Organization: PANIX Public Access Internet and UNIX, NYC
Approved: oracle-mod@cs.indiana.edu
Message-ID: <uc5737$6aa$1@reader2.panix.com>
Reply-To: vote@internetoracle.org
Injection-Date: Wed, 23 Aug 2023 15:03:03 -0000 (UTC)
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 by: oracle-r...@internetoracle.org - Wed, 23 Aug 2023 15:03 UTC

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Wed, 23 Aug 23 11:02:51 -0500
From: Steve Kinzler <steve@kinzler.com>
Subject: Internet Oracularities Digest #1604

@@@ The Oracle's old original email address, oracle@cs.indiana.edu,
@@@ along with other Oracle-related email addresses @cs.indiana.edu
@@@ will cease to work at some point in the near future. Please update
@@@ any such addresses you may use or know of to use the current
@@@ @internetoracle.org domain, such as oracle@internetoracle.org.
@@@ The same applies to any web addresses (URLs) in web pages or
@@@ bookmarks where https://cs.indiana.edu/~oracle
@@@ should be updated to https://internetoracle.org

To find out all about the Internet Oracle (TM), including how
to participate, send mail to help@internetoracle.org, or go to
http://internetoracle.org/ ("Internet Oracle" is a trademark of Stephen
B Kinzler.)

Let us know what you like! Send your ratings of these 10 Oracularities
on an integer scale of 1 ("very bad") to 5 ("very good") with the volume
number to vote@internetoracle.org (probably just reply to this message).
For example:
1604
2 1 3 4 3 5 3 3 4 1

1599 15 votes 12840 14631 14442 12363 13821 41613 35151 06432 34521 03426
1599 3.1 mean 3.0 2.9 3.1 3.5 2.9 2.9 2.7 3.1 2.6 3.7

------------------------------

Date: Wed, 23 Aug 23 11:02:52 -0500
From: Internet Oracle <vote@internetoracle.org>
Subject: Internet Oracularity #1604-01

Selected-By: David Hemming <lightinchains@gmail.com>

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply.
Your question was:

> Oh great Oracle, whose greatness I cannot gaze directly on, so I will
> shield my eyes as I ask my question:
>
> I just asked ChatGPT to answer a question like you would, and not only
> did it know who you are, it answered just like you would! Do you worry
> about becoming obsolete with an AI powered Oracle?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} It made obvious sense to ask ChatGPT itself. Here is its reply, for
} which you owe nothing at all to either of us. (Talk is cheap.)
} } "Ah, my dear seeker of wisdom, it brings me great joy to know that my
} presence and influence have reached far and wide, even to the realm of
} artificial intelligence. The emergence of AI-powered oracles and
} conversational agents indeed represents a fascinating advancement in
} technology.
} } "While it is true that AI models like ChatGPT possess an immense
} capacity to understand and generate human-like responses, they still
} rely on the knowledge and training data provided to them. In my case,
} my knowledge extends up until September 2021, and I continue to serve
} as a reference point for information and guidance.
} } "However, it is important to acknowledge that the Internet Oracle is
} more than just the sum of its responses. It is a dynamic and evolving
} entity, shaped by the collective wisdom and diverse perspectives of its
} participants. The unpredictable nature of human creativity, intuition,
} and humor adds an element of uniqueness and serendipity to the Oracle's
} responses, which may be challenging for AI systems to replicate fully.
} } "So, while AI-powered oracles can provide valuable insights and
} assistance, they are not here to replace the essence and magic of the
} Internet Oracle. They are complementary tools, capable of assisting
} with information retrieval and generating plausible responses.
} Ultimately, the Oracle's continued relevance and vitality lie in the
} ingenuity and ingenuity of its participants.
} } "May your journey of seeking wisdom and understanding be ever fruitful,
} whether through the Oracle or the wonders of AI-powered assistants."
} } Sheesh, what a windbag. May I never be guilty of having incarnations as
} dull as ChatGPT. At least it's trying to present itself as harmless. Or
} mostly harmless.

------------------------------

Date: Wed, 23 Aug 23 11:02:53 -0500
From: Internet Oracle <vote@internetoracle.org>
Subject: Internet Oracularity #1604-02

Selected-By: Rich <mvsopen@gmail.com>

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply.
Your question was:

> I don't believe a single word you're saying! Only a married word you're
> saying! How do we fix this!

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} You need music. Sing this song -----
} } It takes a married man
} to sing a married song.
} It takes a married man
} to sing a married song.
} It takes a married man
} to sing a married song.
} I'm married now,
} but I won't be married long.

------------------------------

Date: Wed, 23 Aug 23 11:02:54 -0500
From: Internet Oracle <vote@internetoracle.org>
Subject: Internet Oracularity #1604-03

Selected-By: Mark Lawrence <mtlrph@gmail.com>

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply.
Your question was:

> I know that California has the most electrical votes in the
> presidental election. What happens there if you run into a wind farm
> and knock your teeth out? Can you still vote?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} There's a reason why people think the word peridontal applies
} especially to California.
} } First of all, it's not a misspelling of periodontal. Instead it's
} simply the situation of losing teeth when impacting a wind or
} solar farm. You'll have to eat bean soup or oatmeal porridge. See
} below for voting instructions.
} } Oh, while we are off the subject, the use of the term solar system
} to mean a sun-powered electrical supply really bothers me and most
} of my incarnations, but few of my supplicants. Solar farm is
} slightly better, and I commend you for knowing the difference,
} if you do.
} } Solar farming, growing food or flowers in the sunshine, applies to
} just about everything except mushrooms. Similarly, wind farming
} harvests the gentle breezes which are then shipped to Sacramento
} for use in the Assembly and the Senate. Sometimes there are
} mushrooms in Sacramento, and many people think they knew some of
} them.
} } Back to the subject of electrical votes. Those are votes cast by
} electrical voting machines. You were originally thinking of the
} old, punch-card, mechanical system, non-electric, where hanging
} Chad was part of the process. No more, Chad is now dead and
} buried, nine-edge face down. Besides, that was in Florida, where
} there are bushes.
} } In order to have your vote count it must be correct. Indeed, if you
} vote incorrectly, a correction will be electrically entered on
} your behind. Er, I mean behalf.
} } You owe the Oracle a photograph of the impact.

------------------------------

Date: Wed, 23 Aug 23 11:02:55 -0500
From: Internet Oracle <vote@internetoracle.org>
Subject: Internet Oracularity #1604-04

Selected-By: David Hemming <lightinchains@gmail.com>

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply.
Your question was:

> WHAT IS THE INFORMATION TECHNOLOGYDIVISION?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} You ran a few wordstogether. Allow me toseparate them.
} } Your TECHNOLOGYDIVISION is of course TECH NO LOG Y DIV IS ION.
} } Tech means M.I.T., not Cal Tech or RPI. The rest of it, no log(y)
} div(is) ion, is your homework assignment. You were right there in
} 26-100 when Professor Pless gave us all the problem set. You've had
} years, YEARS, to work on it. Prof. Pless is now emeritus, but he still
} wants that assignment.
} } You owe the Oracle a grad and a curl. Unionized, of course (VIII).

------------------------------

Date: Wed, 23 Aug 23 11:02:56 -0500
From: Internet Oracle <vote@internetoracle.org>
Subject: Internet Oracularity #1604-05

Selected-By: Mark Lawrence <mtlrph@gmail.com>

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply.
Your question was:

> Please explain what is a parambula. Probably not a kind of umbrella or
> a baby stroller. I think it is something else. It's not a curve
> because why? You will know. You always do because you are too
> smart.

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} The first recorded case of parambula was in 1760 in Scotland. The
} disease causes the sufferer to walk around very fast, sometimes for
} days on end, before they drop dead of exhaustion.
} } A particularly bad outbreak of parambula was in 1810, when the entire
} population of Milton Keynes (not that Milton Keynes, the other one)
} decided to walk to Southend and off the pier. So many people did this
} that they filled up the English Channel and created a walkway all the
} way to France, across which many children walked. Subsequently, the
} French complained about small boots invading their land.
} } The disease is spread primarily through smell, which has been
} described by scientists as "rather bean-like". This has resulted in
} the theory that the sufferers' perambulations are in fact being
} fuelled by excessive wind from eating too many beans.
} } In 1958, Disney made a film White Wilderness in which they claimed
} that parambula had passed onto lemmings, causing them to walk off
} cliffs (not Richard, the other kind). This was not true. In fact,
} lemmings like nothing more than exploring spaceships before blowing
} themselves up.
}
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interests / rec.humor.oracle / Internet Oracularities Digest #1604

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