f you want to dip your toe into the unsettling, kind-of hilarious world of
Donald Trump sex fiction, here are five insane examples of the kind of
imaginary, Trump-rotic sexual adventures that people are actually writing
about on the Internet. (Don�t read any of these at work or in front of
anyone whose respect you value.)
The Billionaire and The Bellboy

Photo: Giphy
trump sex stories

This is the best-known example of Trump erotica. Earlier this year,
comedian Elijah Daniel declared on Twitter that he was going to get drunk
and write a gay sex novel, in the style of 50 Shades of Grey, all about
Donald Trump. The result was Trump Temptation: The Billionaire and The
Bellboy, an ebook that became wildly popular on Amazon and attracted a ton
of media attention.

The story follows a young bellboy�s fascination with (and eventual
seduction by) Trump at one of the billionaire�s hotels in Hong Kong and
contains passages like this:

"I had to admit it, I wanted his geriatric 2006 Perez Hilton jello body,
and I wanted it bad. But before long we had a new problem, my lustful
thoughts had awoken the purple-headed yogurt slinger in my pants. This
walk was getting real� hard, real fast."

Probably the most mainstream Trump sex fiction out there (and probably the
funniest too).
Pegged By Palin (No, Really)

Photo: Giphy
trump sex stories

The fan-fiction site, Archive of Our Own, has a �HUUUGE� selection of
Trump-related fiction � much of it toes the line between legitimate
erotica and flat-out satire. This weird entry in the Trump canon involves
Trump inviting Sarah Palin to a secret cabin in the Alaskan woods to meet
with him and Vladimir Putin. Trump wants to ask Palin to be his vice-
president, but Palin has one condition � and it involves her strap-on.
(Putin is totally into it. Trump is not.) Here�s what you�re in for:

Trump looked up, and found himself speechless for a rare moment.

Palin leaned against the doorway, wearing nothing but army boots and a
large novelty strap-on. The strap-on was orange. It was shaped like a
cartoon caricature of a person. It was shaped like Donald Trump.

"Do you boys like country music?" Palin asked with a smug smile, glancing
back and forth between the two drop-jawed men.
Trump Wars � The Donald Trump/Star Wars Sex Mash-Up You Didn�t Know You
Wanted

Photo: Buzzfeed
trump sex stories

This is one is particularly insane, albeit more romantic than flat-out
erotic. Trump creates a portal to the Star Wars universe (you heard me),
so he can learn the Jedi/Sith mind-control techniques that will help him
secure the election. But, the Donald quickly forms a tender bond with
Supreme Leader Snoke from The Force Awakens (much to the jealous chagrin
of Kylo Ren), and, after a night of karaoke (not kidding), Trump and Snoke
finally take things to the next level. THIS is what fan-fiction should be.

Snoke stood waiting outside Trump�s room door as Trump stepped in. Donald
felt like he ought to say something to thank Snoke for the evening but he
found himself doing something very different.

�You should come in,� Donald suggested. Snoke�s eyes widened and checked
around for any onlookers.

�Are you sure Trump? If I do I may find myself doing something I might
regret,� Snoke spoke in a serious tone.

�I�m sure,� Donald�s voice cracked and he grabbed a hold of Snoke�s
wrinkled hand. �Come in,� He bit his bottom lip and ruffled his yellow
hair. �I have a lot to show you.�
Trump on Bernie (It makes me sad too�)

Photo: Giphy
trump sex stories

This one is pretty graphic. Bernie Sanders is in his office, working late,
when suddenly Trump shows up, determined to make Bernie� um� �feel the
bern.� We should all be ashamed that this exists.

Sanders bolts to his feet, "Out!" He yells, not expecting Trump�s next
move.

Donald comes around the desk, bending Bernie over his desk. Donald rubs
his groin against Bernie's ass. Sanders has no voice, he can't even yelp
as Trump grabs his hardening length through his pants.

"You want this, old man." Trump shoves his lips onto Sanders'. Donald
pushes his tongue into the other�s mouth and violates every inch of the
elder's mouth.
Poor Jeb Bush

Photo: Giphy
trump sex stories

While the previous story will make you feel bad for Bernie, this one will
almost make you cry for poor, impotent Jeb Bush. (The story is scathingly
titled �Please Clap.�) The premise is simple � Trump instructs Jeb to meet
him at a secret apartment, which leads to a night of humiliation, rough
sex, and Trump threatening to bend Jeb over his podium.

It�s not always easy to feel sympathy for children of the Bush dynasty,
but this might do it�

Trump made a sound of satisfaction, hand already down his silk boxers. Jeb
could see the fabric move as Donald touched himself. God help him, it was
hot.

Donald pulled him by the collar of his button-up shirt towards the
bedroom, shoving him towards the California king bed. Jeb was used to the
rough treatment by now, and only worked to pull his shirt off over his
head. He pulled his belt off, tossing it to the ground. His hands froze on
his zipper when Donald said �Stop. First, you�re gonna listen to what I
have planned for my inauguration.�