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Two is company, three is an orgy.

interests / alt.humor.puns / Re: Nelson

Re: Nelson

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Date: Mon, 04 Apr 2022 08:41:45 -0700
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Subject: Re: Nelson
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 by: Mike - Mon, 4 Apr 2022 15:41 UTC

On Apr 4, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote
(in article<a1b1a417-6fe6-4146-9b29-02b7df67e50dn@googlegroups.com>):

> On Monday, April 4, 2022 at 4:24:40 AM UTC-5, Mike wrote:
> > On Apr 3, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote
> > (in article<484c3103-44e1-4e15...@googlegroups.com>):
> > > On Saturday, April 2, 2022 at 4:30:33 PM UTC-5, Mike wrote:
> > > > On Apr 2, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote
> > > > (in article<f442de1a-0f13-4d47...@googlegroups.com>):
> > > > > On Saturday, April 2, 2022 at 3:27:34 AM UTC-5, Mike wrote:
> > > > > > On Apr 1, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote
> > > > > > (in article<2d0e550f-51f8-4639...@googlegroups.com>):
> > > > > > > On Friday, April 1, 2022 at 5:07:18 AM UTC-5, Mike wrote:
> > > > > > > > On Mar 31, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote
> > > > > > > > (in article<04a29306-7811-40ae...@googlegroups.com>):
> > > > > > > > > On Thursday, March 31, 2022 at 4:23:47 PM UTC-5, Mike wrote:
> > > > > > > > > > On Mar 31, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote
> > > > > > > > > > (in article<ec1809d2-fbde-4734...@googlegroups.com>):
> > > > > > > > > > > On Thursday, March 31, 2022 at 3:28:20 AM UTC-5, Mike wrote:
> > > > > > > > > > > > On Mar 30, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote
> > > > > > > > > > > > (in article<76c7fadd-ad5d-48dd...@googlegroups.com>):
> > > > > > > > > > > > > On Wednesday, March 30, 2022 at 2:31:31 PM UTC-5, Mike wrote:
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > On Mar 30, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > (in article<578bc6b9-d8ce-441b...@googlegroups.com>):
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > On Wednesday, March 30, 2022 at 9:22:12 AM UTC-5, Mike wrote:
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > On Mar 30, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > (in article<04ac8f48-3056-4dda...@googlegroups.com>):
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > no On Wednesday, March 30, 2022 at 3:04:55 AM UTC-5, Mike
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > wrote:
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > On Mar 29, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > (in article<d89a9cc0-c8ba-41c2...@googlegroups.com>):
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > On Tuesday, March 29, 2022 at 11:17:09 AM UTC-5, Mike
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > wrote:
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > On Mar 29, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > (in article<31c0db54-d627-42d2...@googlegroups.com>):
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > On Tuesday, March 29, 2022 at 2:25:45 AM UTC-5, Mike
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > wrote:
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > On Mar 28, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > (in article<378ccef8-02e7-4ef7...@googlegroups.com>):
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > On Monday, March 28, 2022 at 2:08:44 PM UTC-5, Mike
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > wrote:
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > On Mar 28, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > (in article<cb617325-02e7-4640...@googlegroups.com>):
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > And add up all the “theory’s” you would think
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > EVERYONE
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > did
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > it
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > except
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Oswald
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Michael LeVine
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > mle...@redshift.com
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Politics is the art of looking for trouble,
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > finding it everywhere,
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > diagnosing it incorrectly,
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > and applying the wrong remedies.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Groucho Marx
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > my wife and I went to Dallas to attend a concert ,
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > she
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > booked
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > some
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > old
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > rundown hotel , I was taking the dog out to do its
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > number
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > , I
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > had
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > no
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > idea
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > where we were and I looked up and realized we were on
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Dealey
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Plaza. I
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > told
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > the dog "what's the dealy here , I didn't know this
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > place
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > was
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > famous."
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Then
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > there was a long delay while the dog did its thing.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > But you did not give a Diddly Squat...
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Michael LeVine
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > mle...@redshift.com
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Politics is the art of looking for trouble,
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > finding it everywhere,
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > diagnosing it incorrectly,
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > and applying the wrong remedies.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Groucho Marx
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I did too give a diddly squat JFK was a great president
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > no
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > telling
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > where
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > we
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > would be now had he lived and I really care about that.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Maybe already settled on the moon --- and given Alice a
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > decent
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > burial
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Michael LeVine
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > mle...@redshift.com
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Politics is the art of looking for trouble,
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > finding it everywhere,
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > diagnosing it incorrectly,
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > and applying the wrong remedies.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Groucho Marx
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > What's an indecent burial? One hand sticking out of the
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > ground?
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > No, rigor Mortus causing the penis to do so.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Michael LeVine
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > mle...@redshift.com
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Politics is the art of looking for trouble,
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > finding it everywhere,
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > diagnosing it incorrectly,
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > and applying the wrong remedies.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Groucho Marx
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > When I join together pieces of wood I want there to be a
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > lot
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > of
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > rigor
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > in
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > my
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > mortise joints.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > You do seem to be rather unbending about that requirement
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Michael LeVine
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > mle...@redshift.com
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Politics is the art of looking for trouble,
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > finding it everywhere,
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > diagnosing it incorrectly,
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > and applying the wrong remedies.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Groucho Marx
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > no, I need a lot of rigor in my mortise joints so they don't
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > come
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > unbent.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > You do have a tenon-cy to exagerate.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Michael LeVine
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > mle...@redshift.com
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Politics is the art of looking for trouble,
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > finding it everywhere,
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > diagnosing it incorrectly,
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > and applying the wrong remedies.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Groucho Marx
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I am very hard-working; I exercise my tenons to the max.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > But you are a Baritone not a tenon
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > Michael LeVine
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > mle...@redshift.com
> > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > Politics is the art of looking for trouble,
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > finding it everywhere,
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > diagnosing it incorrectly,
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > and applying the wrong remedies.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > Groucho Marx
> > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > Aren't those the kind of notes that Barry White sings,
> > > > > > > > > > > > > Barry-tones???
> > > > > > > > > > > > He has a falsetto appreciation of his so called talent
> > > > > > > > > > > > Michael LeVine
> > > > > > > > > > > > mle...@redshift.com
> > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > Politics is the art of looking for trouble,
> > > > > > > > > > > > finding it everywhere,
> > > > > > > > > > > > diagnosing it incorrectly,
> > > > > > > > > > > > and applying the wrong remedies.
> > > > > > > > > > > > Groucho Marx
> > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > So if someone sings with a true voice it's a truesetto?
> > > > > > > > > > I will not fallacious for that line
> > > > > > > > > > Michael LeVine
> > > > > > > > > > mle...@redshift.com
> > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > Politics is the art of looking for trouble,
> > > > > > > > > > finding it everywhere,
> > > > > > > > > > diagnosing it incorrectly,
> > > > > > > > > > and applying the wrong remedies.
> > > > > > > > > > Groucho Marx
> > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > there was this fellow named Phil and he was hiking in the woods with
> > > > > > > > > grizzly
> > > > > > > > > bears and he had his girlfriend Rhonda along with him, it was very
> > > > > > > > > dangerous
> > > > > > > > > to be in amongst these grizzly bears , so Rhonda told him the only
> > > > > > > > > way
> > > > > > > > > we're
> > > > > > > > > going to survive this is if Phil lays, shush.
> > > > > > > > But would Phil fill the grizzly??
> > > > > > > > Michael LeVine
> > > > > > > > mle...@redshift.com
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > Politics is the art of looking for trouble,
> > > > > > > > finding it everywhere,
> > > > > > > > diagnosing it incorrectly,
> > > > > > > > and applying the wrong remedies.
> > > > > > > > Groucho Marx
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > A Romanian and a Czechoslovakian were hiking and they were both eaten
> > > > > > > by
> > > > > > > grizzly bears , it turned out that they were a male and female mated
> > > > > > > pair
> > > > > > > of
> > > > > > > bears. the Romanian wound up in the female and the Czech was in the
> > > > > > > male.
> > > > > > Too bad he was not the Rubber Czech from the circus side show.
> > > > > > Michael LeVine
> > > > > > mle...@redshift.com
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Politics is the art of looking for trouble,
> > > > > > finding it everywhere,
> > > > > > diagnosing it incorrectly,
> > > > > > and applying the wrong remedies.
> > > > > > Groucho Marx
> > > > >
> > > > > Actually the Czechoslovakian guy before the bear ate him he managed to
> > > > > have
> > > > > sex with the bear and yes the bear was male so it was a homosexual union
> > > > > but
> > > > > he did practice safe sex by using a rubber so everyone lived happily ever
> > > > > after after that.
> > > > Was this the same bear that laid his paw on the table??
> > > > Michael LeVine
> > > > mle...@redshift.com
> > > >
> > > > Politics is the art of looking for trouble,
> > > > finding it everywhere,
> > > > diagnosing it incorrectly,
> > > > and applying the wrong remedies.
> > > > Groucho Marx
> > >
> > > yeah sort of but it's really more like this joke where a dog goes into a
> > > bar
> > > out in the old west and he goes up to the bartender and says I'll have a
> > > whiskey bartender says we don't serve dogs here and gets out a shootin iron
> > > and shoots the dog in the foot , the dog whimpers and runs away , the next
> > > day the dog comes back in the bar and he's all dressed up in a gunfighters
> > > outfit and he looks at the bartender but it's a different bartender than
> > > the
> > > one that shot him so he strides up to the bar and looks at this new guy and
> > > says "I'm looking for the man whut shot my paw!”
> >
> > A short paw-s for the new bartender to come up with a distraction
> > Michael LeVine
> > mle...@redshift.com
> >
> > Politics is the art of looking for trouble,
> > finding it everywhere,
> > diagnosing it incorrectly,
> > and applying the wrong remedies.
> > Groucho Marx
>
> We had a dog stray up here to the ranch and the dog actually learned to
> masturbate with her front two paws and Dad looked at her and asked me "what's
> wrong with her donnn do you think she has worms " the best I can tell from
> that is he must've let a very sheltered life and in fact I don't even know
> how I came into existence?

Perhaps it was the postman (or maybe the milk man) who made the deliveries.

Michael LeVine
mlevine@redshift.com

Politics is the art of looking for trouble,
finding it everywhere,
diagnosing it incorrectly,
and applying the wrong remedies.
Groucho Marx

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o Nelson

By: Jason Evans on Tue, 11 Jan 2022

256Jason Evans
server_pubkey.txt

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