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The faster I go, the behinder I get. -- Lewis Carroll

interests / alt.humor.puns / Re: Dew

Re: Dew

<0001HW.28268DA500022E9C700002D7038F@news.supernews.com>

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https://www.novabbs.com/interests/article-flat.php?id=12548&group=alt.humor.puns#12548

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Date: Sat, 07 May 2022 04:21:09 -0700
From: mlevines...@redshift.com (Mike)
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Message-ID: <0001HW.28268DA500022E9C700002D7038F@news.supernews.com>
Subject: Re: Dew
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 by: Mike - Sat, 7 May 2022 11:21 UTC

On May 6, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote
(in article<7483f01e-b2db-4aa6-b7b1-170e651e1c50n@googlegroups.com>):

> On Friday, May 6, 2022 at 9:41:31 AM UTC-5, Mike wrote:
> > On May 6, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote
> > (in article<80800d2c-a1df-441d...@googlegroups.com>):
> > > On Friday, May 6, 2022 at 2:50:58 AM UTC-5, Mike wrote:
> > > > On May 5, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote
> > > > (in article<a88903c1-daad-4d7a...@googlegroups.com>):
> > > > > On Thursday, May 5, 2022 at 12:35:37 PM UTC-5, Mike wrote:
> > > > > > On May 5, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote
> > > > > > (in article<16a0a2f2-015e-4675...@googlegroups.com>):
> > > > > > > On Thursday, May 5, 2022 at 9:29:32 AM UTC-5, Mike wrote:
> > > > > > > > On May 4, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote
> > > > > > > > (in article<592e8891-0d2b-4a57...@googlegroups.com>):
> > > > > > > > > On Wednesday, May 4, 2022 at 3:15:02 PM UTC-5, Mike wrote:
> > > > > > > > > > On May 4, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote
> > > > > > > > > > (in article<a1474777-321d-4898...@googlegroups.com>):
> > > > > > > > > > > On Wednesday, May 4, 2022 at 11:34:10 AM UTC-5, Mike wrote:
> > > > > > > > > > > > On May 4, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote
> > > > > > > > > > > > (in article<f63ec854-8e53-4159...@googlegroups.com>):
> > > > > > > > > > > > > On Wednesday, May 4, 2022 at 6:06:05 AM UTC-5, Mike wrote:
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > On May 3, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > (in article<70943d7e-6590-44b5...@googlegroups.com>):
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > On Tuesday, May 3, 2022 at 12:21:47 PM UTC-5, Mike wrote:
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > On May 3, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > (in article<c24ca951-702a-4f73...@googlegroups.com>):
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > On Tuesday, May 3, 2022 at 6:14:38 AM UTC-5, Mike wrote:
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > On May 2, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > (in article<5b71e428-fd9a-4a5e...@googlegroups.com>):
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > On Monday, May 2, 2022 at 1:21:23 PM UTC-5, Mike wrote:
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > On May 2, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > (in article<426f287b-42a9-4cda...@googlegroups.com>):
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > On Monday, May 2, 2022 at 3:26:39 AM UTC-5, Mike wrote:
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > On May 1, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > (in article<27461e30-7c93-443a...@googlegroups.com>):
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > On Sunday, May 1, 2022 at 8:49:01 AM UTC-5, Mike wrote:
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > On Apr 30, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > (in article<632dd444-6a3e-484c...@googlegroups.com>):
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > On Saturday, April 30, 2022 at 1:58:57 PM UTC-5, Mike
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > wrote:
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > On Apr 30, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > (in article<682da2df-3aeb-444b...@googlegroups.com>)
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > :
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > On Saturday, April 30, 2022 at 6:46:22 AM UTC-5,
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Mike
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > wrote:
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > On Apr 29, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > (in article<8b1edfc4-f1e2-4fcd...@googlegroups.com
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > )
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > On Friday, April 29, 2022 at 3:03:31 PM UTC-5,
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Mike
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > wrote:
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > On Apr 29, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > (in article<47ea1bfe-63ab-4c23...@googlegroups.c
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > om
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > What did WC Fields tombstone read ?
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > " Better here than Philadelphia"
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Although I also heard that that was false.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > On Rodney Dangerfield’s
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > “There goes the neighborhood"
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Michael LeVine
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > mle...@redshift.com
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Politics is the art of looking for trouble,
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > finding it everywhere,
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > diagnosing it incorrectly,
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > and applying the wrong remedies.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Groucho Marx
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Or Vladimir Putin's tombstone
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > "I had to bury myself since everyone else was
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > dead.”
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > If he actually waits that long he is not following
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > the
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > prime
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > rule of a salesman --- Give the public what they
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > want
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Michael LeVine
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > mle...@redshift.com
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Politics is the art of looking for trouble,
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > finding it everywhere,
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > diagnosing it incorrectly,
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > and applying the wrong remedies.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Groucho Marx
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > My other girlfriend Esmeralda , in order not to
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > over
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > use
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > the
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > name
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Darlene
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > too
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > much, gives the public what they want, but they
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > have
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > to
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > pay.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > The true fee-male
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Michael LeVine
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > mle...@redshift.com
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Politics is the art of looking for trouble,
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > finding it everywhere,
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > diagnosing it incorrectly,
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > and applying the wrong remedies.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Groucho Marx
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Actually she's a shemale so she has something for the
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > guys
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > too
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > at
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > least
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > if
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > they're gay.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > But they never try and get the straight facts
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Michael LeVine
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > mle...@redshift.com
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Politics is the art of looking for trouble,
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > finding it everywhere,
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > diagnosing it incorrectly,
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > and applying the wrong remedies.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Groucho Marx
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > This fellow came up to me and I'm sure he was offering
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > me
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > gay
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > sex
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > because
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > he
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > told me "let's get something straight between us.”
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Do you really want to take a pole on this one???
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Michael LeVine
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > mle...@redshift.com
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Politics is the art of looking for trouble,
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > finding it everywhere,
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > diagnosing it incorrectly,
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > and applying the wrong remedies.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Groucho Marx
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > On our wedding night I discovered that Darlene was not a
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > virgin
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > this
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > really
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > upset me she said in her defence "oh honey, I ruptured it
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > sliding
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > down
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > a
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > pole
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > when I was 15 " and I told her " yeah it could've been a
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Pole
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > or
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > a
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Serbian
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > or
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > a Romanian or a Russian or a Yugoslavian or a Serbian
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > or…………”
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Did she greece it???
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Michael LeVine
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > mle...@redshift.com
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Politics is the art of looking for trouble,
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > finding it everywhere,
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > diagnosing it incorrectly,
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > and applying the wrong remedies.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Groucho Marx
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Here's a very important international political question:
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > If Russia attacked Turkey from the rear , would Greece
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > help?
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > And would they need help to Finnish the job??
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Michael LeVine
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > mle...@redshift.com
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Politics is the art of looking for trouble,
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > finding it everywhere,
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > diagnosing it incorrectly,
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > and applying the wrong remedies.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Groucho Marx
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > One of those Middle Easterners made me so mad I got furious
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > so
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Iraqed
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > him ,
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > then Iran.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I do not want to bahrain on your parade (that’s a lie,
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > actually
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > do
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > love
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > doing it)
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Michael LeVine
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > mle...@redshift.com
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Politics is the art of looking for trouble,
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > finding it everywhere,
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > diagnosing it incorrectly,
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > and applying the wrong remedies.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Groucho Marx
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > As you know there is no kind of special rain for sheep , as you
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > say a
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > bah-rain.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > You mist the point
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > Michael LeVine
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > mle...@redshift.com
> > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > Politics is the art of looking for trouble,
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > finding it everywhere,
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > diagnosing it incorrectly,
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > and applying the wrong remedies.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > Groucho Marx
> > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > Hail to thee oh Great Mike, Master of the Pun.
> > > > > > > > > > > > You are just saying that out of spate.
> > > > > > > > > > > > Michael LeVine
> > > > > > > > > > > > mle...@redshift.com
> > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > Politics is the art of looking for trouble,
> > > > > > > > > > > > finding it everywhere,
> > > > > > > > > > > > diagnosing it incorrectly,
> > > > > > > > > > > > and applying the wrong remedies.
> > > > > > > > > > > > Groucho Marx
> > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > "Spate" is the past tense of "spit", right? For example ,
> > > > > > > > > > > "yesterday
> > > > > > > > > > > I
> > > > > > > > > > > spate
> > > > > > > > > > > at that person because he made me mad.”
> > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > And you then hit him with a guided muzzle??
> > > > > > > > > > Michael LeVine
> > > > > > > > > > mle...@redshift.com
> > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > Politics is the art of looking for trouble,
> > > > > > > > > > finding it everywhere,
> > > > > > > > > > diagnosing it incorrectly,
> > > > > > > > > > and applying the wrong remedies.
> > > > > > > > > > Groucho Marx
> > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > Yes it was a guided muzzle see I have a seeing eye dog and I told him
> > > > > > > > > go
> > > > > > > > > over
> > > > > > > > > and bite that guy , you'll need some guidance : 3 foot forward and 2
> > > > > > > > > feet
> > > > > > > > > to
> > > > > > > > > the left:
> > > > > > > > And then you step in it
> > > > > > > > Michael LeVine
> > > > > > > > mle...@redshift.com
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > Politics is the art of looking for trouble,
> > > > > > > > finding it everywhere,
> > > > > > > > diagnosing it incorrectly,
> > > > > > > > and applying the wrong remedies.
> > > > > > > > Groucho Marx
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > yes I did step in it what happened was I stepped in it and then I was
> > > > > > > walking
> > > > > > > away and I looked back and realized that I could use it for my garden
> > > > > > > so
> > > > > > > I
> > > > > > > had my dog with me so I told my dog that stuff back there that I
> > > > > > > Steppin
> > > > > > > Fetchit.
> > > > > > Letting him dance around the topic
> > > > > > Michael LeVine
> > > > > > mle...@redshift.com
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Politics is the art of looking for trouble,
> > > > > > finding it everywhere,
> > > > > > diagnosing it incorrectly,
> > > > > > and applying the wrong remedies.
> > > > > > Groucho Marx
> > > > >
> > > > > Well when my dog was stepping back to fetch it it had a sudden heart
> > > > > attack
> > > > > and it went through a danse macabre.
> > > > But you lurid him into doing it
> > > > Michael LeVine
> > > > mle...@redshift.com
> > > >
> > > > Politics is the art of looking for trouble,
> > > > finding it everywhere,
> > > > diagnosing it incorrectly,
> > > > and applying the wrong remedies.
> > > > Groucho Marx
> > >
> > > I am a dastardly sort, one time I held a carrot in front of a horse and
> > > lured
> > > it over a cliff.
> > He thought it was a bluff until it was too late.
> > Michael LeVine
> > mle...@redshift.com
> >
> > Politics is the art of looking for trouble,
> > finding it everywhere,
> > diagnosing it incorrectly,
> > and applying the wrong remedies.
> > Groucho Marx
>
> My horse Flicka was pretty stupid ; I'd play poker against him and I'd
> pretend like I had a really high
> hand (Which is what they call a "bluff") , and he'd fall for it every time ,
> won several thousand dollars from that horse.

Perhaps I should loan Flicka my Cliff Notes on how to play poker

Michael LeVine
mlevine@redshift.com

Politics is the art of looking for trouble,
finding it everywhere,
diagnosing it incorrectly,
and applying the wrong remedies.
Groucho Marx

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o Dew

By: Mike on Sat, 16 Apr 2022

276Mike
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