Report: Internet Users Who Call For Attacking Other Countries Will Now Be
Enlisted In The Military Automatically
June 21st, 2019

U.S.—A new policy issued by the United States Department of Defense, in
conjunction with online platforms like Twitter and Facebook, will
automatically enlist you to fight in a foreign war if you post your
support for attacking another country.

People who bravely post about how the U.S. needs to invade some country in
the Middle East or Asia or outer space will get a pop-up notice indicating
they've been enlisted in the military. A recruiter will then show up at
their house and whisk them away to fight in the foreign war they wanted to
happen so badly.

"Frankly, recruitment numbers are down, and we needed some way to find
people who are really enthusiastic about fighting wars," said a DOD
official. "Then it hit us like a drone strike: there are plenty of people
who argue vehemently for foreign intervention. It doesn't matter what war
we're trying to create: Syria, Afghanistan, Iraq, Iran, North Korea,
China---these people are always reliable supporters of any invasion
abroad. So why not get them there on the frontlines?"

"After all, we want people who are passionate about occupying foreign
lands, not grunts who are just there for the paycheck," he added.

Strangely, as soon as the policy was implemented, 99% of saber-rattling
suddenly ceased.
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Posted on Rocksolid Light

_today_ it is satire...

Posted on def4