https://uapro.tumblr.com/post/681515547052195840/the-world-owes-you-15-minutes-of-fame-its-time

So you may think of me as the planet's single most
gifted mind on the subject of Aquatic Ape. But I do
other things. For far too long now, for example, I've
been working film festivals.

Well. Five of them. But the one I have the most pull
with at the moment is the Screaming Ostrich.

https://filmfreeway.com/BostonsScreamingOstrichFilmFestival

Film festivals ordinarily charge a fee for submissions,
and it's non refundable (they don't give it back if they
hate your film) but I can get yours in for free. Sort of.

First, it has to be short.

And I'm talking like 5 minutes or less would he optimal.
If that sounds too short then consider it's a great length
for a Youtube video and we take those.

Now, the problem is that festivals have to protect themselves,
so if you want in for free, and I can swing it, you've got to
fill out & mail in the paper form. You have to sign the waiver
saying you own all the context & you accept responsibility for
it and we have a name & address to send the lawyers if anyone
want to sue.

the paper form gives us all your personal information -- name,
address, telephone number, frequency & magnitude of
flatulence, penis size and/or vaginal volume... the last three
foreign objects to enter your rectum...

You can avoid all this by entering your video through FilmFreeway.

https://filmfreeway.com/BostonsScreamingOstrichFilmFestival

Of course there's a fee going that route so I do not recommend.

It would be cool if the savanna nonsense crowd could whip
something up, embarrass themselves with their "ideas."

Yeah, let's call them "Ideas."

Anyway, they could slap together a brief comedy, mislabel it a
"Documentary" in paleo politics I mean anthropology...

You can keep your anonymity entering it through FilmFreeway
but that'll cost you some money. So take the free option, let
me stalk you.

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https://filmfreeway.com/BostonsScreamingOstrichFilmFestival