I’m watching a $6 million man re-run, the lost island, where every word is
making me cringe even before we get to the opening credits. When we do get
to those credits I see why.
Fred Fryberger
They actually gave him a job again? After he destroyed Star Trek and space
1999 but before he ruined superboy.
He’s just stealing wholesale here.

The lost island isn’t lost in any way shape or form. It’s a paradise island
rip off with a force field that makes it invisible. Except every time they
turn the Force field on or off it does the exact opposite of what they say
it does.

The natives aren’t human although they can breed with humans which would
sort of make them human, and have no immunity to any earthly disease. The
main troublemaker is Jared Martin who played the future alien on the island
in the fantastic journey. You can see how hard they worked on this to make
it original.

Rudy Wells has managed to crash a satellite on it. The leaking neutrons
turn the natives instantly into monsters with Spock ears, giant buck teeth
from the local mall fun shop, big bushy eyebrows from the same place, and
Afros. The same way the scientists turned into monsters on VOYAGE TO THE
BOTTOM OF THE SEA.

The three troublemakers announced they are going to take over the island.
The Islanders decide the only way to cope with this is to flee the island
and not hit these three guys over the head with frying pans or something.
So they must send the half human island cutie girl to get the magic
formula.

It’s in the South Pacific thousands of miles from anything in 6000 fathoms
of water. And yet you can take a sailboard raft to Brigham Young University
in Hawaii on the mainland (they say that repeatedly) in about an hour. The
troublemakers chase her in a schooner.

So Steve sees the girl floundering in the water from Rudy Wells boat and
they say they can’t get to her because of the reefs so he jumps in and
swims over to her but instead of taking her back to the boat he takes her
to the island chased by the monsters. By the way they have forgotten at
this point who was in what craft so the girl floundered the schooner.
Although the guys are also chasing her in the schooner.

They have forgotten that Steve can’t swim using both arms for obvious
reasons, he should just be kicking both feet like crazy.

And holy crap the island turns out to be the North Shore of Hawaii at
Turtle Bay and the resort my father built! Steve has never heard of Brigham
Young University but he knows where the Kuilima hotel is and that he’s
landed by it but not in sight of it.

She tells Steve she’s from another planet so he and Rudy check into the
Kuilima and have some mai tais while the dress shop brings up an assortment
of outfits in assorted sizes for her to try on. The dress shop lady can
tell in a glance she’s a size 8. It probably would’ve saved her some
trouble to come up and look at her and ascertain that first. She says the
girl from an island where they all wear dojo robes has extraordinarily good
taste in clothes. She picked out a white lightly striped T-shirt and a pair
of red shorts.

Steve bribes Lieutenant Tanaka of Brigham Young University on the Hawaiian
mainland to give him highly dangerous untested magic immune system serum,
buying him off with his Detroit Tigers cap. He takes the space cutie to a
luau where he confirms that this is still the same day this adventure
started. They bring out the whole roast pig and after some discussion and
finger-pointing decide to set it down right in front of Steve. But before
she can eat the half human cutie gets sick! She must not have inherited her
father’s natural immunities after all!! She has failed her people! We know
this because she says “I have failed my people!“

Luckily the hospital is also on the grounds of the Brigham Young University
experimental lab on the mainland of Hawaii. The space cutie dies. They
revive her. Steve says that he’ll tear the lab apart and give her the serum
himself. Rudy says he can get it on the basis of national security even
though a) it’s days or weeks or months away from being ready and two) Steve
had already expedited work on it on that basis. They give her a shot and
then leave her completely alone while dramatic music heralds inter-cuts of
the troublemakers in the one schooner seeing the Coast Guard Cutter towing
the other schooner.

The magic serum makes her better. We know this because she wakes up all
alone and says “better. Better. The magic serum made me better.”

She pulls off all the monitor stuff. This sends an immediate signal to the
nursing station which is staffed by one of the cute waitresses from the
king Kamehameha club (billed as “Tehani G.M.M.C. Galiza) that she has had a
cardiac arrest. Barely able to walk, she stumbles over to the closet, gets
dressed, and disappears into the night before the cardiac team arrives..
um..Yeah.

Rudy calls Steve who is naked except for a skimpy yellow towel around his
naughty bits. Apparently that’s how he sleeps. Rudy says they have searched
every room in the hospital (before alerting Steve). Steve says he knows
where she has gone! I’m not sure how he knows this. I don’t have any idea
where she’s gone.

Aha. She has gone to the lab to steal the rest of the experimental serum
that’s never been tested. Opening the mini fridge sets off an alarm but
nobody responds to it. Steve shows up and she bribes him and they make
their escape! All this to keep from hitting three troublemakers over the
head with a frying pan.

Steve and space cutie go to where he had arranged to have her schooner
hidden. Somehow she has changed her clothes to the outfit she arrived on
the Hawaiian mainland in, probably because all the footage of her on the
schooner was wearing that.

The three space troublemakers show up and take turns trying to hit Steve
over the head with a stick! One of them succeeds! Jared Martin tells the
girl to give him the untested secret formula!

TO BE CONTINUED

This can still be solved by just hitting these three guys over the head
with a frying pan.

—
“The last thing I want to do is hurt you, but it’s still on my list.”

In article
<2092034553.658699058.610449.anim8rfsk-cox.net@news.easynews.com>,
anim8rfsk <anim8rfsk@cox.net> wrote:

> I’m watching a $6 million man re-run, the lost island, where every word is
> making me cringe even before we get to the opening credits. When we do get
> to those credits I see why.
> Fred Fryberger
> They actually gave him a job again? After he destroyed Star Trek and space
> 1999 but before he ruined superboy.
> He’s just stealing wholesale here.
>
> The lost island isn’t lost in any way shape or form. It’s a paradise island
> rip off with a force field that makes it invisible. Except every time they
> turn the Force field on or off it does the exact opposite of what they say
> it does.
>
> The natives aren’t human although they can breed with humans which would
> sort of make them human, and have no immunity to any earthly disease. The
> main troublemaker is Jared Martin who played the future alien on the island
> in the fantastic journey. You can see how hard they worked on this to make
> it original.
>
> Rudy Wells has managed to crash a satellite on it. The leaking neutrons
> turn the natives instantly into monsters with Spock ears, giant buck teeth
> from the local mall fun shop, big bushy eyebrows from the same place, and
> Afros. The same way the scientists turned into monsters on VOYAGE TO THE
> BOTTOM OF THE SEA.
>
> The three troublemakers announced they are going to take over the island.
> The Islanders decide the only way to cope with this is to flee the island
> and not hit these three guys over the head with frying pans or something.
> So they must send the half human island cutie girl to get the magic
> formula.
>
> It’s in the South Pacific thousands of miles from anything in 6000 fathoms
> of water. And yet you can take a sailboard raft to Brigham Young University
> in Hawaii on the mainland (they say that repeatedly) in about an hour. The
> troublemakers chase her in a schooner.
>
> So Steve sees the girl floundering in the water from Rudy Wells boat and
> they say they can’t get to her because of the reefs so he jumps in and
> swims over to her but instead of taking her back to the boat he takes her
> to the island chased by the monsters. By the way they have forgotten at
> this point who was in what craft so the girl floundered the schooner.
> Although the guys are also chasing her in the schooner.
>
> They have forgotten that Steve can’t swim using both arms for obvious
> reasons, he should just be kicking both feet like crazy.
>
> And holy crap the island turns out to be the North Shore of Hawaii at
> Turtle Bay and the resort my father built! Steve has never heard of Brigham
> Young University but he knows where the Kuilima hotel is and that he’s
> landed by it but not in sight of it.
>
> She tells Steve she’s from another planet so he and Rudy check into the
> Kuilima and have some mai tais while the dress shop brings up an assortment
> of outfits in assorted sizes for her to try on. The dress shop lady can
> tell in a glance she’s a size 8. It probably would’ve saved her some
> trouble to come up and look at her and ascertain that first. She says the
> girl from an island where they all wear dojo robes has extraordinarily good
> taste in clothes. She picked out a white lightly striped T-shirt and a pair
> of red shorts.
>
> Steve bribes Lieutenant Tanaka of Brigham Young University on the Hawaiian
> mainland to give him highly dangerous untested magic immune system serum,
> buying him off with his Detroit Tigers cap. He takes the space cutie to a
> luau where he confirms that this is still the same day this adventure
> started. They bring out the whole roast pig and after some discussion and
> finger-pointing decide to set it down right in front of Steve. But before
> she can eat the half human cutie gets sick! She must not have inherited her
> father’s natural immunities after all!! She has failed her people! We know
> this because she says “I have failed my people!“
>
> Luckily the hospital is also on the grounds of the Brigham Young University
> experimental lab on the mainland of Hawaii. The space cutie dies. They
> revive her. Steve says that he’ll tear the lab apart and give her the serum
> himself. Rudy says he can get it on the basis of national security even
> though a) it’s days or weeks or months away from being ready and two) Steve
> had already expedited work on it on that basis. They give her a shot and
> then leave her completely alone while dramatic music heralds inter-cuts of
> the troublemakers in the one schooner seeing the Coast Guard Cutter towing
> the other schooner.
>
> The magic serum makes her better. We know this because she wakes up all
> alone and says “better. Better. The magic serum made me better.”
>
> She pulls off all the monitor stuff. This sends an immediate signal to the
> nursing station which is staffed by one of the cute waitresses from the
> king Kamehameha club (billed as “Tehani G.M.M.C. Galiza) that she has had a
> cardiac arrest. Barely able to walk, she stumbles over to the closet, gets
> dressed, and disappears into the night before the cardiac team arrives..
> um..Yeah.
>
> Rudy calls Steve who is naked except for a skimpy yellow towel around his
> naughty bits. Apparently that’s how he sleeps. Rudy says they have searched
> every room in the hospital (before alerting Steve). Steve says he knows
> where she has gone! I’m not sure how he knows this. I don’t have any idea
> where she’s gone.
>
> Aha. She has gone to the lab to steal the rest of the experimental serum
> that’s never been tested. Opening the mini fridge sets off an alarm but
> nobody responds to it. Steve shows up and she bribes him and they make
> their escape! All this to keep from hitting three troublemakers over the
> head with a frying pan.
>
> Steve and space cutie go to where he had arranged to have her schooner
> hidden. Somehow she has changed her clothes to the outfit she arrived on
> the Hawaiian mainland in, probably because all the footage of her on the
> schooner was wearing that.
>
> The three space troublemakers show up and take turns trying to hit Steve
> over the head with a stick! One of them succeeds! Jared Martin tells the
> girl to give him the untested secret formula!

> This can still be solved by just hitting these three guys over the head
> with a frying pan.

You'd be amazed how many problems that can solve.

BTR1701 <atropos@mac.com> wrote:
> In article
> <2092034553.658699058.610449.anim8rfsk-cox.net@news.easynews.com>,
> anim8rfsk <anim8rfsk@cox.net> wrote:
>
>> I’m watching a $6 million man re-run, the lost island, where every word is
>> making me cringe even before we get to the opening credits. When we do get
>> to those credits I see why.
>> Fred Fryberger
>> They actually gave him a job again? After he destroyed Star Trek and space
>> 1999 but before he ruined superboy.
>> He’s just stealing wholesale here.
>>
>> The lost island isn’t lost in any way shape or form. It’s a paradise island
>> rip off with a force field that makes it invisible. Except every time they
>> turn the Force field on or off it does the exact opposite of what they say
>> it does.
>>
>> The natives aren’t human although they can breed with humans which would
>> sort of make them human, and have no immunity to any earthly disease. The
>> main troublemaker is Jared Martin who played the future alien on the island
>> in the fantastic journey. You can see how hard they worked on this to make
>> it original.
>>
>> Rudy Wells has managed to crash a satellite on it. The leaking neutrons
>> turn the natives instantly into monsters with Spock ears, giant buck teeth
>> from the local mall fun shop, big bushy eyebrows from the same place, and
>> Afros. The same way the scientists turned into monsters on VOYAGE TO THE
>> BOTTOM OF THE SEA.
>>
>> The three troublemakers announced they are going to take over the island.
>> The Islanders decide the only way to cope with this is to flee the island
>> and not hit these three guys over the head with frying pans or something.
>> So they must send the half human island cutie girl to get the magic
>> formula.
>>
>> It’s in the South Pacific thousands of miles from anything in 6000 fathoms
>> of water. And yet you can take a sailboard raft to Brigham Young University
>> in Hawaii on the mainland (they say that repeatedly) in about an hour. The
>> troublemakers chase her in a schooner.
>>
>> So Steve sees the girl floundering in the water from Rudy Wells boat and
>> they say they can’t get to her because of the reefs so he jumps in and
>> swims over to her but instead of taking her back to the boat he takes her
>> to the island chased by the monsters. By the way they have forgotten at
>> this point who was in what craft so the girl floundered the schooner.
>> Although the guys are also chasing her in the schooner.
>>
>> They have forgotten that Steve can’t swim using both arms for obvious
>> reasons, he should just be kicking both feet like crazy.
>>
>> And holy crap the island turns out to be the North Shore of Hawaii at
>> Turtle Bay and the resort my father built! Steve has never heard of Brigham
>> Young University but he knows where the Kuilima hotel is and that he’s
>> landed by it but not in sight of it.
>>
>> She tells Steve she’s from another planet so he and Rudy check into the
>> Kuilima and have some mai tais while the dress shop brings up an assortment
>> of outfits in assorted sizes for her to try on. The dress shop lady can
>> tell in a glance she’s a size 8. It probably would’ve saved her some
>> trouble to come up and look at her and ascertain that first. She says the
>> girl from an island where they all wear dojo robes has extraordinarily good
>> taste in clothes. She picked out a white lightly striped T-shirt and a pair
>> of red shorts.
>>
>> Steve bribes Lieutenant Tanaka of Brigham Young University on the Hawaiian
>> mainland to give him highly dangerous untested magic immune system serum,
>> buying him off with his Detroit Tigers cap. He takes the space cutie to a
>> luau where he confirms that this is still the same day this adventure
>> started. They bring out the whole roast pig and after some discussion and
>> finger-pointing decide to set it down right in front of Steve. But before
>> she can eat the half human cutie gets sick! She must not have inherited her
>> father’s natural immunities after all!! She has failed her people! We know
>> this because she says “I have failed my people!“
>>
>> Luckily the hospital is also on the grounds of the Brigham Young University
>> experimental lab on the mainland of Hawaii. The space cutie dies. They
>> revive her. Steve says that he’ll tear the lab apart and give her the serum
>> himself. Rudy says he can get it on the basis of national security even
>> though a) it’s days or weeks or months away from being ready and two) Steve
>> had already expedited work on it on that basis. They give her a shot and
>> then leave her completely alone while dramatic music heralds inter-cuts of
>> the troublemakers in the one schooner seeing the Coast Guard Cutter towing
>> the other schooner.
>>
>> The magic serum makes her better. We know this because she wakes up all
>> alone and says “better. Better. The magic serum made me better.”
>>
>> She pulls off all the monitor stuff. This sends an immediate signal to the
>> nursing station which is staffed by one of the cute waitresses from the
>> king Kamehameha club (billed as “Tehani G.M.M.C. Galiza) that she has had a
>> cardiac arrest. Barely able to walk, she stumbles over to the closet, gets
>> dressed, and disappears into the night before the cardiac team arrives..
>> um..Yeah.
>>
>> Rudy calls Steve who is naked except for a skimpy yellow towel around his
>> naughty bits. Apparently that’s how he sleeps. Rudy says they have searched
>> every room in the hospital (before alerting Steve). Steve says he knows
>> where she has gone! I’m not sure how he knows this. I don’t have any idea
>> where she’s gone.
>>
>> Aha. She has gone to the lab to steal the rest of the experimental serum
>> that’s never been tested. Opening the mini fridge sets off an alarm but
>> nobody responds to it. Steve shows up and she bribes him and they make
>> their escape! All this to keep from hitting three troublemakers over the
>> head with a frying pan.
>>
>> Steve and space cutie go to where he had arranged to have her schooner
>> hidden. Somehow she has changed her clothes to the outfit she arrived on
>> the Hawaiian mainland in, probably because all the footage of her on the
>> schooner was wearing that.
>>
>> The three space troublemakers show up and take turns trying to hit Steve
>> over the head with a stick! One of them succeeds! Jared Martin tells the
>> girl to give him the untested secret formula!
>
>> This can still be solved by just hitting these three guys over the head
>> with a frying pan.
>
> You'd be amazed how many problems that can solve.
>

(Craig Ferguson voice on)
I KNOW!
(Craig Ferguson voice off)

—
“The last thing I want to do is hurt you, but it’s still on my list.”

anim8rfsk@cox.net wrote:

>Steve bribes Lieutenant Tanaka of Brigham Young University on the Hawaiian
>mainland to give him highly dangerous untested magic immune system serum,
>buying him off with his Detroit Tigers cap. He takes the space cutie to a
>luau where he confirms that this is still the same day this adventure
>started. They bring out the whole roast pig and after some discussion and
>finger-pointing decide to set it down right in front of Steve. But before
>she can eat the half human cutie gets sick! She must not have inherited her
>father’s natural immunities after all!! She has failed her people! We know
>this because she says “I have failed my people!“

Is that worse than failing one's city?

--
Let's go Brandon!

Ubiquitous <weberm@polaris.net> wrote:
> anim8rfsk@cox.net wrote:
>
>> Steve bribes Lieutenant Tanaka of Brigham Young University on the Hawaiian
>> mainland to give him highly dangerous untested magic immune system serum,
>> buying him off with his Detroit Tigers cap. He takes the space cutie to a
>> luau where he confirms that this is still the same day this adventure
>> started. They bring out the whole roast pig and after some discussion and
>> finger-pointing decide to set it down right in front of Steve. But before
>> she can eat the half human cutie gets sick! She must not have inherited her
>> father’s natural immunities after all!! She has failed her people! We know
>> this because she says “I have failed my people!“
>
> Is that worse than failing one's city?

I’d say so, yes, because in several real ways she failed her entire world.

By the way I’d like to say this is ripping off the worst wonder woman
episode ever with the stupid little girl from Atlantis or wherever she was
like we were supposed to know what that was that I think was written by
Anne Collins but I think this came first and Collins ripped it off. I’m
waiting for the girl to turn out to have super powers.

>
> —> Let’’ go Brandon!
>
>

—
“The last thing I want to do is hurt you, but it’s still on my list.”

anim8rfsk@cox.net wrote:
> Ubiquitous <weberm@polaris.net> wrote:
>> anim8rfsk@cox.net wrote:

>>> Steve bribes Lieutenant Tanaka of Brigham Young University on the
>>> Hawaiian mainland to give him highly dangerous untested magic immune
>>> system serum, buying him off with his Detroit Tigers cap. He takes
>>> the space cutie to a luau where he confirms that this is still the
>>> same day this adventure started. They bring out the whole roast pig
>>> and after some discussion and finger-pointing decide to set it down
>>> right in front of Steve. But before she can eat the half human cutie
>>> gets sick! She must not have inherited her father's natural immunities
>>> after all!! She has failed her people! We know this because she says
>>> “I have failed my people!“
>>
>> Is that worse than failing one's city?
>
>I'd say so, yes, because in several real ways she failed her entire world.
>
>By the way I'd like to say this is ripping off the worst wonder woman
>episode ever with the stupid little girl from Atlantis or wherever she was
>like we were supposed to know what that was that I think was written by
>Anne Collins but I think this came first and Collins ripped it off. I'm
>waiting for the girl to turn out to have super powers.

Oh, I assumed she had superpowers!

--
Let's go Brandon!

Ubiquitous <weberm@polaris.net> wrote:
> anim8rfsk@cox.net wrote:
>> Ubiquitous <weberm@polaris.net> wrote:
>>> anim8rfsk@cox.net wrote:
>
>>>> Steve bribes Lieutenant Tanaka of Brigham Young University on the
>>>> Hawaiian mainland to give him highly dangerous untested magic immune
>>>> system serum, buying him off with his Detroit Tigers cap. He takes
>>>> the space cutie to a luau where he confirms that this is still the
>>>> same day this adventure started. They bring out the whole roast pig
>>>> and after some discussion and finger-pointing decide to set it down
>>>> right in front of Steve. But before she can eat the half human cutie
>>>> gets sick! She must not have inherited her father's natural immunities
>>>> after all!! She has failed her people! We know this because she says
>>>> “I have failed my people!“
>>>
>>> Is that worse than failing one's city?
>>
>> I'd say so, yes, because in several real ways she failed her entire world.
>>
>> By the way I'd like to say this is ripping off the worst wonder woman
>> episode ever with the stupid little girl from Atlantis or wherever she was
>> like we were supposed to know what that was that I think was written by
>> Anne Collins but I think this came first and Collins ripped it off. I'm
>> waiting for the girl to turn out to have super powers.
>
> Oh, I assumed she had superpowers!

Do you count “immunity to disease” when none of the rest of the space
people have it?

>
> --
> Let's go Brandon!
>
>

--
“The last thing I want to do is hurt you, but it’s still on my list.”

anim8rfsk@cox.net wrote:
> Ubiquitous <weberm@polaris.net> wrote:
>> anim8rfsk@cox.net wrote:
>>> Ubiquitous <weberm@polaris.net> wrote:
>>>> anim8rfsk@cox.net wrote:

>>>>> Steve bribes Lieutenant Tanaka of Brigham Young University on the
>>>>> Hawaiian mainland to give him highly dangerous untested magic immune
>>>>> system serum, buying him off with his Detroit Tigers cap. He takes
>>>>> the space cutie to a luau where he confirms that this is still the
>>>>> same day this adventure started. They bring out the whole roast pig
>>>>> and after some discussion and finger-pointing decide to set it down
>>>>> right in front of Steve. But before she can eat the half human cutie
>>>>> gets sick! She must not have inherited her father's natural immunities
>>>>> after all!! She has failed her people! We know this because she says
>>>>> “I have failed my people!“
>>>>
>>>> Is that worse than failing one's city?
>>>
>>> I'd say so, yes, because in several real ways she failed her entire world.
>>>
>>> By the way I'd like to say this is ripping off the worst wonder woman
>>> episode ever with the stupid little girl from Atlantis or wherever she was
>>> like we were supposed to know what that was that I think was written by
>>> Anne Collins but I think this came first and Collins ripped it off. I'm
>>> waiting for the girl to turn out to have super powers.
>>
>> Oh, I assumed she had superpowers!
>
>Do you count “immunity to disease” when none of the rest of the space
>people have it?

That was my first clue!

--
Let's go Brandon!

anim8rfsk <anim8rfsk@cox.net> wrote:
> I’m watching a $6 million man re-run, the lost island, where every word is
> making me cringe even before we get to the opening credits. When we do get
> to those credits I see why.
> Fred Fryberger
> They actually gave him a job again? After he destroyed Star Trek and space
> 1999 but before he ruined superboy.
> He’s just stealing wholesale here.
>
> The lost island isn’t lost in any way shape or form. It’s a paradise island
> rip off with a force field that makes it invisible. Except every time they
> turn the Force field on or off it does the exact opposite of what they say
> it does.
>
> The natives aren’t human although they can breed with humans which would
> sort of make them human, and have no immunity to any earthly disease. The
> main troublemaker is Jared Martin who played the future alien on the island
> in the fantastic journey. You can see how hard they worked on this to make
> it original.
>
> Rudy Wells has managed to crash a satellite on it. The leaking neutrons
> turn the natives instantly into monsters with Spock ears, giant buck teeth
> from the local mall fun shop, big bushy eyebrows from the same place, and
> Afros. The same way the scientists turned into monsters on VOYAGE TO THE
> BOTTOM OF THE SEA.
>
> The three troublemakers announced they are going to take over the island.
> The Islanders decide the only way to cope with this is to flee the island
> and not hit these three guys over the head with frying pans or something.
> So they must send the half human island cutie girl to get the magic
> formula.
>
> It’s in the South Pacific thousands of miles from anything in 6000 fathoms
> of water. And yet you can take a sailboard raft to Brigham Young University
> in Hawaii on the mainland (they say that repeatedly) in about an hour. The
> troublemakers chase her in a schooner.
>
> So Steve sees the girl floundering in the water from Rudy Wells boat and
> they say they can’t get to her because of the reefs so he jumps in and
> swims over to her but instead of taking her back to the boat he takes her
> to the island chased by the monsters. By the way they have forgotten at
> this point who was in what craft so the girl floundered the schooner.
> Although the guys are also chasing her in the schooner.
>
> They have forgotten that Steve can’t swim using both arms for obvious
> reasons, he should just be kicking both feet like crazy.
>
> And holy crap the island turns out to be the North Shore of Hawaii at
> Turtle Bay and the resort my father built! Steve has never heard of Brigham
> Young University but he knows where the Kuilima hotel is and that he’s
> landed by it but not in sight of it.
>
> She tells Steve she’s from another planet so he and Rudy check into the
> Kuilima and have some mai tais while the dress shop brings up an assortment
> of outfits in assorted sizes for her to try on. The dress shop lady can
> tell in a glance she’s a size 8. It probably would’ve saved her some
> trouble to come up and look at her and ascertain that first. She says the
> girl from an island where they all wear dojo robes has extraordinarily good
> taste in clothes. She picked out a white lightly striped T-shirt and a pair
> of red shorts.
>
> Steve bribes Lieutenant Tanaka of Brigham Young University on the Hawaiian
> mainland to give him highly dangerous untested magic immune system serum,
> buying him off with his Detroit Tigers cap. He takes the space cutie to a
> luau where he confirms that this is still the same day this adventure
> started. They bring out the whole roast pig and after some discussion and
> finger-pointing decide to set it down right in front of Steve. But before
> she can eat the half human cutie gets sick! She must not have inherited her
> father’s natural immunities after all!! She has failed her people! We know
> this because she says “I have failed my people!“
>
> Luckily the hospital is also on the grounds of the Brigham Young University
> experimental lab on the mainland of Hawaii. The space cutie dies. They
> revive her. Steve says that he’ll tear the lab apart and give her the serum
> himself. Rudy says he can get it on the basis of national security even
> though a) it’s days or weeks or months away from being ready and two) Steve
> had already expedited work on it on that basis. They give her a shot and
> then leave her completely alone while dramatic music heralds inter-cuts of
> the troublemakers in the one schooner seeing the Coast Guard Cutter towing
> the other schooner.
>
> The magic serum makes her better. We know this because she wakes up all
> alone and says “better. Better. The magic serum made me better.”
>
> She pulls off all the monitor stuff. This sends an immediate signal to the
> nursing station which is staffed by one of the cute waitresses from the
> king Kamehameha club (billed as “Tehani G.M.M.C. Galiza) that she has had a
> cardiac arrest. Barely able to walk, she stumbles over to the closet, gets
> dressed, and disappears into the night before the cardiac team arrives..
> um..Yeah.
>
> Rudy calls Steve who is naked except for a skimpy yellow towel around his
> naughty bits. Apparently that’s how he sleeps. Rudy says they have searched
> every room in the hospital (before alerting Steve). Steve says he knows
> where she has gone! I’m not sure how he knows this. I don’t have any idea
> where she’s gone.
>
> Aha. She has gone to the lab to steal the rest of the experimental serum
> that’s never been tested. Opening the mini fridge sets off an alarm but
> nobody responds to it. Steve shows up and she bribes him and they make
> their escape! All this to keep from hitting three troublemakers over the
> head with a frying pan.
>
> Steve and space cutie go to where he had arranged to have her schooner
> hidden. Somehow she has changed her clothes to the outfit she arrived on
> the Hawaiian mainland in, probably because all the footage of her on the
> schooner was wearing that.
>
> The three space troublemakers show up and take turns trying to hit Steve
> over the head with a stick! One of them succeeds! Jared Martin tells the
> girl to give him the untested secret formula!
>
> TO BE CONTINUED
>
> This can still be solved by just hitting these three guys over the head
> with a frying pan.

THE SIX MILLION DOLLAR MAN “The lost island part two“
Last week as you recall three alien troublemakers hit Steve over the head
with a stick and prepared to do dastardly things to a space cutie.

Apparently they’ve completely forgotten what island they are on. They say
they are on the space peoples lost island when they’re actually on the
North Shore of Oahu. The order is given to get rid of Steve’s boat so he
can’t follow them. Steve doesn’t have a boat and I don’t know where he’d
follow them since they think they’re already there.

Steve wakes up feeling like somebody’s hit him over the back of the head
with a frying pan. His bionic vision shows him that the alien boat as that
sale! The boat they are calling his has been pushed six, perhaps as much is
7 feet into the water where only bionic strength can turn it over and dump
it clean!

As Steve follows the alien boat we see stock footage of US Navy aircraft
carriers and battleships getting ready for who knows what. Suddenly we are
at the Kuilima hotel at Turtle Bay on the North Shore of Oahu! Oscar (who
didn’t get to go to Hawaii) is giving Rudy arcane instructions.

A couple hours later they have sailed thousands of miles and reach the
island that suddenly has electronic devices that let them see through their
screen of invisibility which they didn’t have in the first episode. Also
the power to their electronic screen of invisibility is failing. Nobody
mentioned that before either.

The three troublemakers arrive at the Village of the rest of the
troublemakers that nobody mentioned last week either. One of them is sick.
They decide that they can’t get sick because of the neutrons. Except for
the one that is sick.

Steve arrives at the invisible barrier which puts his bionics on the fritz.
Steve rips his arm open (what the hell?) and pulls out wires without
affecting the operation of his arm at all. He short circuits two wires
which calls down the standard Universal stock footage of lightning from
above and reveals the island! He sails off at right angles to the
direction the island is in.

The lead troublemaker decides the only way to win the space cutie is to
expose her to neutrons!

The secondary troublemaker spots Steve landing on the island and headed for
the peaceful village that he couldn’t possibly know even exists.

The troublemakers chase Steve to the village. The village has an invisible
disintegration wall around it. The villagers are loathe to let Steve in but
they exchange exposition. As the troublemakers close in Steve asks how tall
the invisible fence is. They say 25 feet. So he jumps almost straight up
and comes back almost straight down which takes a lot of nerve when you’re
dealing with an invisible disintegration wall! He might’ve wanted to ask
how thick it was! But now we know Steve can jump 25 feet straight up.
Personally, I’d have stood my ground and clobbered the two troublemakers
with a frying pan.