https://www.cnn.com/2023/01/24/us/how-many-mass-shootings-2023-dg-xpn/index.html

You have already killed 219 people this year. How many more will you kill?

I suspect the malware is going to stop my Python from working.

Maybe I will start to write more psychologically potent posts, maybe I'll write fiction, see if that will change things and help me get out of here.

I'm taking tomorrow off for sure though.

On Tuesday, April 25, 2023 at 11:00:25 PM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> https://www.cnn.com/2023/01/24/us/how-many-mass-shootings-2023-dg-xpn/index.html
>
> You have already killed 219 people this year. How many more will you kill?
>
> I suspect the malware is going to stop my Python from working.
>
> Maybe I will start to write more psychologically potent posts, maybe I'll write fiction, see if that will change things and help me get out of here.
>
> I'm taking tomorrow off for sure though.

Do you want *anything* rational at all, or just human suffering Christmas tree ornaments?

You idiots are sick.

On Tuesday, April 25, 2023 at 11:01:04 PM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> On Tuesday, April 25, 2023 at 11:00:25 PM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > https://www.cnn.com/2023/01/24/us/how-many-mass-shootings-2023-dg-xpn/index.html
> >
> > You have already killed 219 people this year. How many more will you kill?
> >
> > I suspect the malware is going to stop my Python from working.
> >
> > Maybe I will start to write more psychologically potent posts, maybe I'll write fiction, see if that will change things and help me get out of here.
> >
> > I'm taking tomorrow off for sure though.
> Do you want *anything* rational at all, or just human suffering Christmas tree ornaments?
>
> You idiots are sick.

At this point, one really good question is: If someone foreign *really wanted* to set off a nuclear bomb somewhere in the USA, what force, exactly would stop them?

I don't think there is one any more.

On Tuesday, April 25, 2023 at 11:01:56 PM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> On Tuesday, April 25, 2023 at 11:01:04 PM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > On Tuesday, April 25, 2023 at 11:00:25 PM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > https://www.cnn.com/2023/01/24/us/how-many-mass-shootings-2023-dg-xpn/index.html
> > >
> > > You have already killed 219 people this year. How many more will you kill?
> > >
> > > I suspect the malware is going to stop my Python from working.
> > >
> > > Maybe I will start to write more psychologically potent posts, maybe I'll write fiction, see if that will change things and help me get out of here.
> > >
> > > I'm taking tomorrow off for sure though.
> > Do you want *anything* rational at all, or just human suffering Christmas tree ornaments?
> >
> > You idiots are sick.
> At this point, one really good question is: If someone foreign *really wanted* to set off a nuclear bomb somewhere in the USA, what force, exactly would stop them?
>
> I don't think there is one any more.

This message has now been shot down by Google 2 times!:

OK I'm gonna be calm now and relax and enjoy myself.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7IzD4gI1Cs4

So, yeah, I found out about Jenny Slate from the Westfield skit, great idea, you can call me Manson. Maybe famous people cannot email me due to email issues...so I don't have to be angry.

So yeah, I think she is lying about smoking pot. Maybe A Shawkat was lying too, I don't know. I've gotta do this one a time here.

Here's the thing: I have investigated and researched "being in your 30's," by being my 30's. As it turns out, there is a special thing called "The Chips Limit," which I actually discovered just today and which is not the same thing as The Tipping Point, and ...yeah I am really handsome, not literally a dentist, I'll date you, sure...so the thing is that you definitely *cannot* eat 20 chips (Harvest Cheddar) in ...is that improv?...it...could be....and yeah I am handsome enough, I'm getting there, getting thinner...so yeah you cannot actually eat 20 Harvest Cheddar Sun Chips in your 30's and feel good about it, I checked. I think the right "chips limit" is somewhere between 10 and 15 chips.

I don't get the "anyone take me home and put me in a box in a basement" part...am I being honored for being a good critical thinker, reader, and listener? TRL? TLDR, dazzled? Yeah I'm dazzling. Thanks for noticing.

I think Jenny Slate is my type except for the making up elaborate lies thing.

I am good at art, I can be!

I have watched Venom. I'm very cultured and political too, I didn't listen to the Eminem thing at the end because I'm so liberal and tolerant.

I don't know anything about the "Tootsie Roll" limit.

On Tuesday, April 25, 2023 at 11:35:50 PM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> On Tuesday, April 25, 2023 at 11:01:56 PM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > On Tuesday, April 25, 2023 at 11:01:04 PM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > On Tuesday, April 25, 2023 at 11:00:25 PM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > https://www.cnn.com/2023/01/24/us/how-many-mass-shootings-2023-dg-xpn/index.html
> > > >
> > > > You have already killed 219 people this year. How many more will you kill?
> > > >
> > > > I suspect the malware is going to stop my Python from working.
> > > >
> > > > Maybe I will start to write more psychologically potent posts, maybe I'll write fiction, see if that will change things and help me get out of here.
> > > >
> > > > I'm taking tomorrow off for sure though.
> > > Do you want *anything* rational at all, or just human suffering Christmas tree ornaments?
> > >
> > > You idiots are sick.
> > At this point, one really good question is: If someone foreign *really wanted* to set off a nuclear bomb somewhere in the USA, what force, exactly would stop them?
> >
> > I don't think there is one any more.
> This message has now been shot down by Google 2 times!:
>
>
>
>
> OK I'm gonna be calm now and relax and enjoy myself.
>
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7IzD4gI1Cs4
>
> So, yeah, I found out about Jenny Slate from the Westfield skit, great idea, you can call me Manson. Maybe famous people cannot email me due to email issues...so I don't have to be angry.
>
> So yeah, I think she is lying about smoking pot. Maybe A Shawkat was lying too, I don't know. I've gotta do this one a time here.
>
> Here's the thing: I have investigated and researched "being in your 30's," by being my 30's. As it turns out, there is a special thing called "The Chips Limit," which I actually discovered just today and which is not the same thing as The Tipping Point, and ...yeah I am really handsome, not literally a dentist, I'll date you, sure...so the thing is that you definitely *cannot* eat 20 chips (Harvest Cheddar) in ...is that improv?...it...could be....and yeah I am handsome enough, I'm getting there, getting thinner...so yeah you cannot actually eat 20 Harvest Cheddar Sun Chips in your 30's and feel good about it, I checked. I think the right "chips limit" is somewhere between 10 and 15 chips.
>
> I don't get the "anyone take me home and put me in a box in a basement" part...am I being honored for being a good critical thinker, reader, and listener? TRL? TLDR, dazzled? Yeah I'm dazzling. Thanks for noticing.
>
> I think Jenny Slate is my type except for the making up elaborate lies thing.
>
> I am good at art, I can be!
>
> I have watched Venom. I'm very cultured and political too, I didn't listen to the Eminem thing at the end because I'm so liberal and tolerant.
>
> I don't know anything about the "Tootsie Roll" limit.

You know...maybe it's the Zelda in me...I think I might just leave this email address undeleted for now!

(It's about the end of Skyward Sword. I am trying to relax and not be angry.)

On Tuesday, April 25, 2023 at 11:01:56 PM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> On Tuesday, April 25, 2023 at 11:01:04 PM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > On Tuesday, April 25, 2023 at 11:00:25 PM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > https://www.cnn.com/2023/01/24/us/how-many-mass-shootings-2023-dg-xpn/index.html
> > >
> > > You have already killed 219 people this year. How many more will you kill?
> > >
> > > I suspect the malware is going to stop my Python from working.
> > >
> > > Maybe I will start to write more psychologically potent posts, maybe I'll write fiction, see if that will change things and help me get out of here.
> > >
> > > I'm taking tomorrow off for sure though.
> > Do you want *anything* rational at all, or just human suffering Christmas tree ornaments?
> >
> > You idiots are sick.
> At this point, one really good question is: If someone foreign *really wanted* to set off a nuclear bomb somewhere in the USA, what force, exactly would stop them?
>
> I don't think there is one any more.

OK I'm gonna be calm now and relax and enjoy myself.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7IzD4gI1Cs4

So, yeah, I found out about Jenny Slate from the Westfield skit, great idea, you can call me Manson. Maybe famous people cannot email me due to email issues...so I don't have to be angry.

So yeah, I think she is lying about smoking pot. Maybe A Shawkat was lying too, I don't know. I've gotta do this one a time here.

Here's the thing: I have investigated and researched "being in your 30's," by being my 30's. As it turns out, there is a special thing called "The Chips Limit," which I actually discovered just today and which is not the same thing as The Tipping Point, and ...yeah I am really handsome, not literally a dentist, I'll date you, sure...so the thing is that you definitely *cannot* eat 20 chips (Harvest Cheddar) in ...is that improv?...it...could be....and yeah I am handsome enough, I'm getting there, getting thinner...so yeah you cannot actually eat 20 Harvest Cheddar Sun Chips in your 30's and feel good about it, I checked. I think the right "chips limit" is somewhere between 10 and 15 chips.

I don't get the "anyone take me home and put me in a box in a basement" part...am I being honored for being a good critical thinker, reader, and listener? TRL? TLDR, dazzled? Yeah I'm dazzling. Thanks for noticing.

I think Jenny Slate is my type except for the making up elaborate lies thing.

I am good at art, I can be!

I have watched Venom. I'm very cultured and political too, I didn't listen to the Eminem thing at the end because I'm so liberal and tolerant.

I don't know anything about the "Tootsie Roll" limit.

On Tuesday, April 25, 2023 at 11:37:05 PM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> On Tuesday, April 25, 2023 at 11:01:56 PM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > On Tuesday, April 25, 2023 at 11:01:04 PM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > On Tuesday, April 25, 2023 at 11:00:25 PM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > https://www.cnn.com/2023/01/24/us/how-many-mass-shootings-2023-dg-xpn/index.html
> > > >
> > > > You have already killed 219 people this year. How many more will you kill?
> > > >
> > > > I suspect the malware is going to stop my Python from working.
> > > >
> > > > Maybe I will start to write more psychologically potent posts, maybe I'll write fiction, see if that will change things and help me get out of here.
> > > >
> > > > I'm taking tomorrow off for sure though.
> > > Do you want *anything* rational at all, or just human suffering Christmas tree ornaments?
> > >
> > > You idiots are sick.
> > At this point, one really good question is: If someone foreign *really wanted* to set off a nuclear bomb somewhere in the USA, what force, exactly would stop them?
> >
> > I don't think there is one any more.
> OK I'm gonna be calm now and relax and enjoy myself.
>
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7IzD4gI1Cs4
>
> So, yeah, I found out about Jenny Slate from the Westfield skit, great idea, you can call me Manson. Maybe famous people cannot email me due to email issues...so I don't have to be angry.
>
> So yeah, I think she is lying about smoking pot. Maybe A Shawkat was lying too, I don't know. I've gotta do this one a time here.
>
> Here's the thing: I have investigated and researched "being in your 30's," by being my 30's. As it turns out, there is a special thing called "The Chips Limit," which I actually discovered just today and which is not the same thing as The Tipping Point, and ...yeah I am really handsome, not literally a dentist, I'll date you, sure...so the thing is that you definitely *cannot* eat 20 chips (Harvest Cheddar) in ...is that improv?...it...could be....and yeah I am handsome enough, I'm getting there, getting thinner...so yeah you cannot actually eat 20 Harvest Cheddar Sun Chips in your 30's and feel good about it, I checked. I think the right "chips limit" is somewhere between 10 and 15 chips.
>
> I don't get the "anyone take me home and put me in a box in a basement" part...am I being honored for being a good critical thinker, reader, and listener? TRL? TLDR, dazzled? Yeah I'm dazzling. Thanks for noticing.
>
> I think Jenny Slate is my type except for the making up elaborate lies thing.
>
> I am good at art, I can be!
>
> I have watched Venom. I'm very cultured and political too, I didn't listen to the Eminem thing at the end because I'm so liberal and tolerant.
>
> I don't know anything about the "Tootsie Roll" limit.

I just decided to change my mind at look at Jennifer Shahade's Twitter again.

https://twitter.com/jenshahade

I like that she accepted my request to apparently not mention me. Thanks. At this point, I don't mind if JS wants to mention me again if she is reading this...I don't mind if I am not mentioned at all again. I like that I asked for a reasonable request and was complied with.

Is it actually over in April? Maybe it is not. I am not complaining about Ms. Shahde. Also, btw, when I was 9 years old, I got written up in the Maryland chess club (or Maryland chess something) news letter...I was rated like 1000 or 1100, and at a tournament, I beat a man who was maybe in his 40's who was rated like 1600, and the Maryland newsletter wrote about my game.. That was neat...I wasn't seen as an up and coming star then though.

Also, my math-driven chess theories have come along. I might still get back into playing chess someday.

Additionally, regarding this comment:

"The part that surprised me the most is how much he enjoyed the drama and excitement of it all. It even made losing tolerable."

I can't tell if she is expressing some sort of anger about the deaths of the two women...I can't gauge whatever hints or implications are within this, or if she is angry, that is not even close to being anything like a strength of mine yet, I haven't socialized in over a decade...I can only confidently take the comment at close to face value. I don't think I *enjoyed* the drama much...I was stimulated by it very mildly, it was not very dramatic to me. I enjoy certain kinds of drama. The attention I paid is intended as, "I do not want to get in trouble for not saying something and explaining myself clearly, since I just 'bombed Israel' in a way that I claim was legal, moral, and self-defense, and also killed two innocent people." I don't think I *enjoyed* the drama...I debate well, I can go on and on about issues, *finish up making the point and finish strong*--the phrase "finish strong" came from the 3 miles runs at UMW Rugby and I never saw Steven van der Briel there and I am not him. It is like, if you are typing something, and you have a homework assignment, you'd better do it right...that is why I may sound involved or eagerly pursuing something, which is closer to an "A" as in "not an F in some people's eyes who do not see things as I do and do not speak to me." If I enjoyed the drama of explaining why I did something that likely caused two people to die, I enjoyed it about as much as an internet debate with someone I don't agree with. I err on the side of verbosity. I want people to feel that they do understand how I am thinking and feeling clearly and that I am being genuine, so that my own fear, of being fooled by overly subtle/tricky fake people, isn't something I put others through. I have used lots of science/math ideas in my writing at least in the past. I don't want people to feel uncomfortable with that. To me, it would be *refreshing* to have someone take my concerns into account that attentively...maybe others roll their eyes, and I don't know how deep the eye-rolling at everything I value in other people's behavior and conduct goes, since I don't really know any people in terms of conversing with them any more.. I know a King Charles Cavalier Spaniel and I talk a little bit to a nurse practitioner once a month, other than that, I would appear to be banned from socializing by bad guys.

Is it over in April??? I really do hope so. I'm sure I'll be digging around somewhere nearby, still desperately trying to find out when this nonsense ends! Reading hints and "cracking fakeness/subtlety codes", including normal/appropriate ones, is not my strength...I can't tell which of my own preferences and models for other people's behavior are seen or lame or are inaccurate models of how other people tend to think, interact, and prefer to be treated these days...e.g., I hadn't thought about consent until 2014, and now it is a key part of how I interact with others, and yet as an "interaction shirt" so to speak, I have never worn it in a real conversation with another person who was not simply in character as that woman at Kroger that I fell in love with and then extremely quickly fell out of love with after 10 days was--it was a very sophisticated, very hurtful fake, and my psych doctor wasn't helping.

Anyway, I am feeling pretty OK. It was kind of not fun to write that post again, but the music I am listening to is OK.

On Tuesday, April 25, 2023 at 11:55:15 PM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> On Tuesday, April 25, 2023 at 11:37:05 PM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > On Tuesday, April 25, 2023 at 11:01:56 PM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > On Tuesday, April 25, 2023 at 11:01:04 PM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > On Tuesday, April 25, 2023 at 11:00:25 PM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > https://www.cnn.com/2023/01/24/us/how-many-mass-shootings-2023-dg-xpn/index.html
> > > > >
> > > > > You have already killed 219 people this year. How many more will you kill?
> > > > >
> > > > > I suspect the malware is going to stop my Python from working.
> > > > >
> > > > > Maybe I will start to write more psychologically potent posts, maybe I'll write fiction, see if that will change things and help me get out of here.
> > > > >
> > > > > I'm taking tomorrow off for sure though.
> > > > Do you want *anything* rational at all, or just human suffering Christmas tree ornaments?
> > > >
> > > > You idiots are sick.
> > > At this point, one really good question is: If someone foreign *really wanted* to set off a nuclear bomb somewhere in the USA, what force, exactly would stop them?
> > >
> > > I don't think there is one any more.
> > OK I'm gonna be calm now and relax and enjoy myself.
> >
> > https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7IzD4gI1Cs4
> >
> > So, yeah, I found out about Jenny Slate from the Westfield skit, great idea, you can call me Manson. Maybe famous people cannot email me due to email issues...so I don't have to be angry.
> >
> > So yeah, I think she is lying about smoking pot. Maybe A Shawkat was lying too, I don't know. I've gotta do this one a time here.
> >
> > Here's the thing: I have investigated and researched "being in your 30's," by being my 30's. As it turns out, there is a special thing called "The Chips Limit," which I actually discovered just today and which is not the same thing as The Tipping Point, and ...yeah I am really handsome, not literally a dentist, I'll date you, sure...so the thing is that you definitely *cannot* eat 20 chips (Harvest Cheddar) in ...is that improv?...it...could be...and yeah I am handsome enough, I'm getting there, getting thinner...so yeah you cannot actually eat 20 Harvest Cheddar Sun Chips in your 30's and feel good about it, I checked. I think the right "chips limit" is somewhere between 10 and 15 chips.
> >
> > I don't get the "anyone take me home and put me in a box in a basement" part...am I being honored for being a good critical thinker, reader, and listener? TRL? TLDR, dazzled? Yeah I'm dazzling. Thanks for noticing.
> >
> > I think Jenny Slate is my type except for the making up elaborate lies thing.
> >
> > I am good at art, I can be!
> >
> > I have watched Venom. I'm very cultured and political too, I didn't listen to the Eminem thing at the end because I'm so liberal and tolerant.
> >
> > I don't know anything about the "Tootsie Roll" limit.
> I just decided to change my mind at look at Jennifer Shahade's Twitter again.
>
> https://twitter.com/jenshahade
>
> I like that she accepted my request to apparently not mention me. Thanks. At this point, I don't mind if JS wants to mention me again if she is reading this...I don't mind if I am not mentioned at all again. I like that I asked for a reasonable request and was complied with.
>
> Is it actually over in April? Maybe it is not. I am not complaining about Ms. Shahde. Also, btw, when I was 9 years old, I got written up in the Maryland chess club (or Maryland chess something) news letter...I was rated like 1000 or 1100, and at a tournament, I beat a man who was maybe in his 40's who was rated like 1600, and the Maryland newsletter wrote about my game. That was neat...I wasn't seen as an up and coming star then though.
>
> Also, my math-driven chess theories have come along. I might still get back into playing chess someday.
>
> Additionally, regarding this comment:
>
> "The part that surprised me the most is how much he enjoyed the drama and excitement of it all. It even made losing tolerable."
>
> I can't tell if she is expressing some sort of anger about the deaths of the two women...I can't gauge whatever hints or implications are within this, or if she is angry, that is not even close to being anything like a strength of mine yet, I haven't socialized in over a decade...I can only confidently take the comment at close to face value. I don't think I *enjoyed* the drama much...I was stimulated by it very mildly, it was not very dramatic to me. I enjoy certain kinds of drama. The attention I paid is intended as, "I do not want to get in trouble for not saying something and explaining myself clearly, since I just 'bombed Israel' in a way that I claim was legal, moral, and self-defense, and also killed two innocent people." I don't think I *enjoyed* the drama...I debate well, I can go on and on about issues, *finish up making the point and finish strong*--the phrase "finish strong" came from the 3 miles runs at UMW Rugby and I never saw Steven van der Briel there and I am not him. It is like, if you are typing something, and you have a homework assignment, you'd better do it right...that is why I may sound involved or eagerly pursuing something, which is closer to an "A" as in "not an F in some people's eyes who do not see things as I do and do not speak to me." If I enjoyed the drama of explaining why I did something that likely caused two people to die, I enjoyed it about as much as an internet debate with someone I don't agree with. I err on the side of verbosity. I want people to feel that they do understand how I am thinking and feeling clearly and that I am being genuine, so that my own fear, of being fooled by overly subtle/tricky fake people, isn't something I put others through. I have used lots of science/math ideas in my writing at least in the past. I don't want people to feel uncomfortable with that. To me, it would be *refreshing* to have someone take my concerns into account that attentively...maybe others roll their eyes, and I don't know how deep the eye-rolling at everything I value in other people's behavior and conduct goes, since I don't really know any people in terms of conversing with them any more. I know a King Charles Cavalier Spaniel and I talk a little bit to a nurse practitioner once a month, other than that, I would appear to be banned from socializing by bad guys.
>
> Is it over in April??? I really do hope so. I'm sure I'll be digging around somewhere nearby, still desperately trying to find out when this nonsense ends! Reading hints and "cracking fakeness/subtlety codes", including normal/appropriate ones, is not my strength...I can't tell which of my own preferences and models for other people's behavior are seen or lame or are inaccurate models of how other people tend to think, interact, and prefer to be treated these days...e.g., I hadn't thought about consent until 2014, and now it is a key part of how I interact with others, and yet as an "interaction shirt" so to speak, I have never worn it in a real conversation with another person who was not simply in character as that woman at Kroger that I fell in love with and then extremely quickly fell out of love with after 10 days was--it was a very sophisticated, very hurtful fake, and my psych doctor wasn't helping.
>
> Anyway, I am feeling pretty OK. It was kind of not fun to write that post again, but the music I am listening to is OK.

* not like him

....I think I ought to include that correction, that's important enough.

On Tuesday, April 25, 2023 at 11:55:15 PM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> On Tuesday, April 25, 2023 at 11:37:05 PM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > On Tuesday, April 25, 2023 at 11:01:56 PM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > On Tuesday, April 25, 2023 at 11:01:04 PM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > On Tuesday, April 25, 2023 at 11:00:25 PM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > https://www.cnn.com/2023/01/24/us/how-many-mass-shootings-2023-dg-xpn/index.html
> > > > >
> > > > > You have already killed 219 people this year. How many more will you kill?
> > > > >
> > > > > I suspect the malware is going to stop my Python from working.
> > > > >
> > > > > Maybe I will start to write more psychologically potent posts, maybe I'll write fiction, see if that will change things and help me get out of here.
> > > > >
> > > > > I'm taking tomorrow off for sure though.
> > > > Do you want *anything* rational at all, or just human suffering Christmas tree ornaments?
> > > >
> > > > You idiots are sick.
> > > At this point, one really good question is: If someone foreign *really wanted* to set off a nuclear bomb somewhere in the USA, what force, exactly would stop them?
> > >
> > > I don't think there is one any more.
> > OK I'm gonna be calm now and relax and enjoy myself.
> >
> > https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7IzD4gI1Cs4
> >
> > So, yeah, I found out about Jenny Slate from the Westfield skit, great idea, you can call me Manson. Maybe famous people cannot email me due to email issues...so I don't have to be angry.
> >
> > So yeah, I think she is lying about smoking pot. Maybe A Shawkat was lying too, I don't know. I've gotta do this one a time here.
> >
> > Here's the thing: I have investigated and researched "being in your 30's," by being my 30's. As it turns out, there is a special thing called "The Chips Limit," which I actually discovered just today and which is not the same thing as The Tipping Point, and ...yeah I am really handsome, not literally a dentist, I'll date you, sure...so the thing is that you definitely *cannot* eat 20 chips (Harvest Cheddar) in ...is that improv?...it...could be...and yeah I am handsome enough, I'm getting there, getting thinner...so yeah you cannot actually eat 20 Harvest Cheddar Sun Chips in your 30's and feel good about it, I checked. I think the right "chips limit" is somewhere between 10 and 15 chips.
> >
> > I don't get the "anyone take me home and put me in a box in a basement" part...am I being honored for being a good critical thinker, reader, and listener? TRL? TLDR, dazzled? Yeah I'm dazzling. Thanks for noticing.
> >
> > I think Jenny Slate is my type except for the making up elaborate lies thing.
> >
> > I am good at art, I can be!
> >
> > I have watched Venom. I'm very cultured and political too, I didn't listen to the Eminem thing at the end because I'm so liberal and tolerant.
> >
> > I don't know anything about the "Tootsie Roll" limit.
> I just decided to change my mind at look at Jennifer Shahade's Twitter again.
>
> https://twitter.com/jenshahade
>
> I like that she accepted my request to apparently not mention me. Thanks. At this point, I don't mind if JS wants to mention me again if she is reading this...I don't mind if I am not mentioned at all again. I like that I asked for a reasonable request and was complied with.
>
> Is it actually over in April? Maybe it is not. I am not complaining about Ms. Shahde. Also, btw, when I was 9 years old, I got written up in the Maryland chess club (or Maryland chess something) news letter...I was rated like 1000 or 1100, and at a tournament, I beat a man who was maybe in his 40's who was rated like 1600, and the Maryland newsletter wrote about my game. That was neat...I wasn't seen as an up and coming star then though.
>
> Also, my math-driven chess theories have come along. I might still get back into playing chess someday.
>
> Additionally, regarding this comment:
>
> "The part that surprised me the most is how much he enjoyed the drama and excitement of it all. It even made losing tolerable."
>
> I can't tell if she is expressing some sort of anger about the deaths of the two women...I can't gauge whatever hints or implications are within this, or if she is angry, that is not even close to being anything like a strength of mine yet, I haven't socialized in over a decade...I can only confidently take the comment at close to face value. I don't think I *enjoyed* the drama much...I was stimulated by it very mildly, it was not very dramatic to me. I enjoy certain kinds of drama. The attention I paid is intended as, "I do not want to get in trouble for not saying something and explaining myself clearly, since I just 'bombed Israel' in a way that I claim was legal, moral, and self-defense, and also killed two innocent people." I don't think I *enjoyed* the drama...I debate well, I can go on and on about issues, *finish up making the point and finish strong*--the phrase "finish strong" came from the 3 miles runs at UMW Rugby and I never saw Steven van der Briel there and I am not him. It is like, if you are typing something, and you have a homework assignment, you'd better do it right...that is why I may sound involved or eagerly pursuing something, which is closer to an "A" as in "not an F in some people's eyes who do not see things as I do and do not speak to me." If I enjoyed the drama of explaining why I did something that likely caused two people to die, I enjoyed it about as much as an internet debate with someone I don't agree with. I err on the side of verbosity. I want people to feel that they do understand how I am thinking and feeling clearly and that I am being genuine, so that my own fear, of being fooled by overly subtle/tricky fake people, isn't something I put others through. I have used lots of science/math ideas in my writing at least in the past. I don't want people to feel uncomfortable with that. To me, it would be *refreshing* to have someone take my concerns into account that attentively...maybe others roll their eyes, and I don't know how deep the eye-rolling at everything I value in other people's behavior and conduct goes, since I don't really know any people in terms of conversing with them any more. I know a King Charles Cavalier Spaniel and I talk a little bit to a nurse practitioner once a month, other than that, I would appear to be banned from socializing by bad guys.
>
> Is it over in April??? I really do hope so. I'm sure I'll be digging around somewhere nearby, still desperately trying to find out when this nonsense ends! Reading hints and "cracking fakeness/subtlety codes", including normal/appropriate ones, is not my strength...I can't tell which of my own preferences and models for other people's behavior are seen or lame or are inaccurate models of how other people tend to think, interact, and prefer to be treated these days...e.g., I hadn't thought about consent until 2014, and now it is a key part of how I interact with others, and yet as an "interaction shirt" so to speak, I have never worn it in a real conversation with another person who was not simply in character as that woman at Kroger that I fell in love with and then extremely quickly fell out of love with after 10 days was--it was a very sophisticated, very hurtful fake, and my psych doctor wasn't helping.
>
> Anyway, I am feeling pretty OK. It was kind of not fun to write that post again, but the music I am listening to is OK.

Also, for those wondering about me psychologically, I have a very good plan to improve my ability to be perceptive about other people and their feelings, especially including sincerity and being genuine, using some basic psychology ideas I thought of. Most of my STEM ideas, which are for publication and for other people, are "industrial strength STEM ideas" that are based largely on mathematical formalisms. Sometimes, I find it worthwhile, as in this case, to focus on less formal ideas that will help me as a sort of "not even biological but real-world guide" to things.

Also, now that I'm worried about my email...as I sort of expected, I never got a reply from Professor Sipser regarding my malware-and-research-related email. I wonder if he did email me back but the message was shot down? The time before last, I didn't receive his message also...that was years ago, it was just another one of my P vs. NP questions. Professor has only ever not responded to emails me that I have sent those two times; in the past, I was quite impressed with him and liked him a lot not that I knew him well, and he once sent me an unpublished paper he had written about P vs. NP when I was an undergraduate student. I believe I started emailing him in either 2007 or 2008...I remember when I was hit by a car on Nov 20, 2007, crossing the street going from the UMW apartments (like dorm rooms off the main campus for the students) to the main campus of UMW--I was going either to the math/CS academic building, Trinkle, or to the library (I think it was that one), to some light studying related task--that the last thing I remembered before I blacked out and forgot everything else, rather amusingly, was that I had just realized that my extremely simple approach to P = NP didn't work, because I hadn't realized at the time that my mistake was believing that NP = coNP in some argument I was considering. Clearly, I have made *extremely tremendous* progress since then!

On Wednesday, April 26, 2023 at 12:07:27 AM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> On Tuesday, April 25, 2023 at 11:55:15 PM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > On Tuesday, April 25, 2023 at 11:37:05 PM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > On Tuesday, April 25, 2023 at 11:01:56 PM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > On Tuesday, April 25, 2023 at 11:01:04 PM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > On Tuesday, April 25, 2023 at 11:00:25 PM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > > https://www.cnn.com/2023/01/24/us/how-many-mass-shootings-2023-dg-xpn/index.html
> > > > > >
> > > > > > You have already killed 219 people this year. How many more will you kill?
> > > > > >
> > > > > > I suspect the malware is going to stop my Python from working.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Maybe I will start to write more psychologically potent posts, maybe I'll write fiction, see if that will change things and help me get out of here.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > I'm taking tomorrow off for sure though.
> > > > > Do you want *anything* rational at all, or just human suffering Christmas tree ornaments?
> > > > >
> > > > > You idiots are sick.
> > > > At this point, one really good question is: If someone foreign *really wanted* to set off a nuclear bomb somewhere in the USA, what force, exactly would stop them?
> > > >
> > > > I don't think there is one any more.
> > > OK I'm gonna be calm now and relax and enjoy myself.
> > >
> > > https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7IzD4gI1Cs4
> > >
> > > So, yeah, I found out about Jenny Slate from the Westfield skit, great idea, you can call me Manson. Maybe famous people cannot email me due to email issues...so I don't have to be angry.
> > >
> > > So yeah, I think she is lying about smoking pot. Maybe A Shawkat was lying too, I don't know. I've gotta do this one a time here.
> > >
> > > Here's the thing: I have investigated and researched "being in your 30's," by being my 30's. As it turns out, there is a special thing called "The Chips Limit," which I actually discovered just today and which is not the same thing as The Tipping Point, and ...yeah I am really handsome, not literally a dentist, I'll date you, sure...so the thing is that you definitely *cannot* eat 20 chips (Harvest Cheddar) in ...is that improv?...it...could be...and yeah I am handsome enough, I'm getting there, getting thinner...so yeah you cannot actually eat 20 Harvest Cheddar Sun Chips in your 30's and feel good about it, I checked. I think the right "chips limit" is somewhere between 10 and 15 chips.
> > >
> > > I don't get the "anyone take me home and put me in a box in a basement" part...am I being honored for being a good critical thinker, reader, and listener? TRL? TLDR, dazzled? Yeah I'm dazzling. Thanks for noticing.
> > >
> > > I think Jenny Slate is my type except for the making up elaborate lies thing.
> > >
> > > I am good at art, I can be!
> > >
> > > I have watched Venom. I'm very cultured and political too, I didn't listen to the Eminem thing at the end because I'm so liberal and tolerant.
> > >
> > > I don't know anything about the "Tootsie Roll" limit.
> > I just decided to change my mind at look at Jennifer Shahade's Twitter again.
> >
> > https://twitter.com/jenshahade
> >
> > I like that she accepted my request to apparently not mention me. Thanks. At this point, I don't mind if JS wants to mention me again if she is reading this...I don't mind if I am not mentioned at all again. I like that I asked for a reasonable request and was complied with.
> >
> > Is it actually over in April? Maybe it is not. I am not complaining about Ms. Shahde. Also, btw, when I was 9 years old, I got written up in the Maryland chess club (or Maryland chess something) news letter...I was rated like 1000 or 1100, and at a tournament, I beat a man who was maybe in his 40's who was rated like 1600, and the Maryland newsletter wrote about my game. That was neat...I wasn't seen as an up and coming star then though.
> >
> > Also, my math-driven chess theories have come along. I might still get back into playing chess someday.
> >
> > Additionally, regarding this comment:
> >
> > "The part that surprised me the most is how much he enjoyed the drama and excitement of it all. It even made losing tolerable."
> >
> > I can't tell if she is expressing some sort of anger about the deaths of the two women...I can't gauge whatever hints or implications are within this, or if she is angry, that is not even close to being anything like a strength of mine yet, I haven't socialized in over a decade...I can only confidently take the comment at close to face value. I don't think I *enjoyed* the drama much...I was stimulated by it very mildly, it was not very dramatic to me. I enjoy certain kinds of drama. The attention I paid is intended as, "I do not want to get in trouble for not saying something and explaining myself clearly, since I just 'bombed Israel' in a way that I claim was legal, moral, and self-defense, and also killed two innocent people." I don't think I *enjoyed* the drama...I debate well, I can go on and on about issues, *finish up making the point and finish strong*--the phrase "finish strong" came from the 3 miles runs at UMW Rugby and I never saw Steven van der Briel there and I am not him. It is like, if you are typing something, and you have a homework assignment, you'd better do it right...that is why I may sound involved or eagerly pursuing something, which is closer to an "A" as in "not an F in some people's eyes who do not see things as I do and do not speak to me." If I enjoyed the drama of explaining why I did something that likely caused two people to die, I enjoyed it about as much as an internet debate with someone I don't agree with. I err on the side of verbosity. I want people to feel that they do understand how I am thinking and feeling clearly and that I am being genuine, so that my own fear, of being fooled by overly subtle/tricky fake people, isn't something I put others through. I have used lots of science/math ideas in my writing at least in the past. I don't want people to feel uncomfortable with that. To me, it would be *refreshing* to have someone take my concerns into account that attentively....maybe others roll their eyes, and I don't know how deep the eye-rolling at everything I value in other people's behavior and conduct goes, since I don't really know any people in terms of conversing with them any more. I know a King Charles Cavalier Spaniel and I talk a little bit to a nurse practitioner once a month, other than that, I would appear to be banned from socializing by bad guys.
> >
> > Is it over in April??? I really do hope so. I'm sure I'll be digging around somewhere nearby, still desperately trying to find out when this nonsense ends! Reading hints and "cracking fakeness/subtlety codes", including normal/appropriate ones, is not my strength...I can't tell which of my own preferences and models for other people's behavior are seen or lame or are inaccurate models of how other people tend to think, interact, and prefer to be treated these days...e.g., I hadn't thought about consent until 2014, and now it is a key part of how I interact with others, and yet as an "interaction shirt" so to speak, I have never worn it in a real conversation with another person who was not simply in character as that woman at Kroger that I fell in love with and then extremely quickly fell out of love with after 10 days was--it was a very sophisticated, very hurtful fake, and my psych doctor wasn't helping.
> >
> > Anyway, I am feeling pretty OK. It was kind of not fun to write that post again, but the music I am listening to is OK.
> Also, for those wondering about me psychologically, I have a very good plan to improve my ability to be perceptive about other people and their feelings, especially including sincerity and being genuine, using some basic psychology ideas I thought of. Most of my STEM ideas, which are for publication and for other people, are "industrial strength STEM ideas" that are based largely on mathematical formalisms. Sometimes, I find it worthwhile, as in this case, to focus on less formal ideas that will help me as a sort of "not even biological but real-world guide" to things.
>
> Also, now that I'm worried about my email...as I sort of expected, I never got a reply from Professor Sipser regarding my malware-and-research-related email. I wonder if he did email me back but the message was shot down? The time before last, I didn't receive his message also...that was years ago, it was just another one of my P vs. NP questions. Professor has only ever not responded to emails me that I have sent those two times; in the past, I was quite impressed with him and liked him a lot not that I knew him well, and he once sent me an unpublished paper he had written about P vs. NP when I was an undergraduate student. I believe I started emailing him in either 2007 or 2008...I remember when I was hit by a car on Nov 20, 2007, crossing the street going from the UMW apartments (like dorm rooms off the main campus for the students) to the main campus of UMW--I was going either to the math/CS academic building, Trinkle, or to the library (I think it was that one), to some light studying related task--that the last thing I remembered before I blacked out and forgot everything else, rather amusingly, was that I had just realized that my extremely simple approach to P = NP didn't work, because I hadn't realized at the time that my mistake was believing that NP = coNP in some argument I was considering. Clearly, I have made *extremely tremendous* progress since then!
>
> I think Michael Sipser is probably not evil...it is very difficult to sort through my "paranoia processing"--I think that thought disorders are more about processing issues, rather than "pure extremeness issues," i.e., I'm not "too paranoid," I have "paranoia-related processing issues," where I'll get some "danger-related theory" and either be way too naive and "un-aroused" in the right way, or I'll be quite aroused enough but feeling insanely stressed out and unsure of what's true, or extremely aroused about the wrong thing to focus on.
>
> So anyway, I'll end this post now I guess. I don't have much else to say. I am going to get better at hints and assessing others' moods when I'm back to normal...probably, I'll do great with socializing anyway, but *the feeling of continual improvement* at socializing would make me feel better about my previous *very serious perceptiveness errors* that were truly for real and scary/upsetting...next time, I'll be less likely to be wrong...and maybe it will help me impress women I date more too in the future, better to err on the side of trying to being too skilled at understanding others.

On Wednesday, April 26, 2023 at 12:14:41 AM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> On Wednesday, April 26, 2023 at 12:07:27 AM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > On Tuesday, April 25, 2023 at 11:55:15 PM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > On Tuesday, April 25, 2023 at 11:37:05 PM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > On Tuesday, April 25, 2023 at 11:01:56 PM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > On Tuesday, April 25, 2023 at 11:01:04 PM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > > On Tuesday, April 25, 2023 at 11:00:25 PM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > > > https://www.cnn.com/2023/01/24/us/how-many-mass-shootings-2023-dg-xpn/index.html
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > You have already killed 219 people this year. How many more will you kill?
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > I suspect the malware is going to stop my Python from working..
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > Maybe I will start to write more psychologically potent posts, maybe I'll write fiction, see if that will change things and help me get out of here.
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > I'm taking tomorrow off for sure though.
> > > > > > Do you want *anything* rational at all, or just human suffering Christmas tree ornaments?
> > > > > >
> > > > > > You idiots are sick.
> > > > > At this point, one really good question is: If someone foreign *really wanted* to set off a nuclear bomb somewhere in the USA, what force, exactly would stop them?
> > > > >
> > > > > I don't think there is one any more.
> > > > OK I'm gonna be calm now and relax and enjoy myself.
> > > >
> > > > https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7IzD4gI1Cs4
> > > >
> > > > So, yeah, I found out about Jenny Slate from the Westfield skit, great idea, you can call me Manson. Maybe famous people cannot email me due to email issues...so I don't have to be angry.
> > > >
> > > > So yeah, I think she is lying about smoking pot. Maybe A Shawkat was lying too, I don't know. I've gotta do this one a time here.
> > > >
> > > > Here's the thing: I have investigated and researched "being in your 30's," by being my 30's. As it turns out, there is a special thing called "The Chips Limit," which I actually discovered just today and which is not the same thing as The Tipping Point, and ...yeah I am really handsome, not literally a dentist, I'll date you, sure...so the thing is that you definitely *cannot* eat 20 chips (Harvest Cheddar) in ...is that improv?...it...could be...and yeah I am handsome enough, I'm getting there, getting thinner....so yeah you cannot actually eat 20 Harvest Cheddar Sun Chips in your 30's and feel good about it, I checked. I think the right "chips limit" is somewhere between 10 and 15 chips.
> > > >
> > > > I don't get the "anyone take me home and put me in a box in a basement" part...am I being honored for being a good critical thinker, reader, and listener? TRL? TLDR, dazzled? Yeah I'm dazzling. Thanks for noticing.
> > > >
> > > > I think Jenny Slate is my type except for the making up elaborate lies thing.
> > > >
> > > > I am good at art, I can be!
> > > >
> > > > I have watched Venom. I'm very cultured and political too, I didn't listen to the Eminem thing at the end because I'm so liberal and tolerant.
> > > >
> > > > I don't know anything about the "Tootsie Roll" limit.
> > > I just decided to change my mind at look at Jennifer Shahade's Twitter again.
> > >
> > > https://twitter.com/jenshahade
> > >
> > > I like that she accepted my request to apparently not mention me. Thanks. At this point, I don't mind if JS wants to mention me again if she is reading this...I don't mind if I am not mentioned at all again. I like that I asked for a reasonable request and was complied with.
> > >
> > > Is it actually over in April? Maybe it is not. I am not complaining about Ms. Shahde. Also, btw, when I was 9 years old, I got written up in the Maryland chess club (or Maryland chess something) news letter...I was rated like 1000 or 1100, and at a tournament, I beat a man who was maybe in his 40's who was rated like 1600, and the Maryland newsletter wrote about my game. That was neat...I wasn't seen as an up and coming star then though.
> > >
> > > Also, my math-driven chess theories have come along. I might still get back into playing chess someday.
> > >
> > > Additionally, regarding this comment:
> > >
> > > "The part that surprised me the most is how much he enjoyed the drama and excitement of it all. It even made losing tolerable."
> > >
> > > I can't tell if she is expressing some sort of anger about the deaths of the two women...I can't gauge whatever hints or implications are within this, or if she is angry, that is not even close to being anything like a strength of mine yet, I haven't socialized in over a decade...I can only confidently take the comment at close to face value. I don't think I *enjoyed* the drama much...I was stimulated by it very mildly, it was not very dramatic to me. I enjoy certain kinds of drama. The attention I paid is intended as, "I do not want to get in trouble for not saying something and explaining myself clearly, since I just 'bombed Israel' in a way that I claim was legal, moral, and self-defense, and also killed two innocent people." I don't think I *enjoyed* the drama...I debate well, I can go on and on about issues, *finish up making the point and finish strong*--the phrase "finish strong" came from the 3 miles runs at UMW Rugby and I never saw Steven van der Briel there and I am not him. It is like, if you are typing something, and you have a homework assignment, you'd better do it right...that is why I may sound involved or eagerly pursuing something, which is closer to an "A" as in "not an F in some people's eyes who do not see things as I do and do not speak to me." If I enjoyed the drama of explaining why I did something that likely caused two people to die, I enjoyed it about as much as an internet debate with someone I don't agree with. I err on the side of verbosity. I want people to feel that they do understand how I am thinking and feeling clearly and that I am being genuine, so that my own fear, of being fooled by overly subtle/tricky fake people, isn't something I put others through. I have used lots of science/math ideas in my writing at least in the past. I don't want people to feel uncomfortable with that. To me, it would be *refreshing* to have someone take my concerns into account that attentively....maybe others roll their eyes, and I don't know how deep the eye-rolling at everything I value in other people's behavior and conduct goes, since I don't really know any people in terms of conversing with them any more. I know a King Charles Cavalier Spaniel and I talk a little bit to a nurse practitioner once a month, other than that, I would appear to be banned from socializing by bad guys.
> > >
> > > Is it over in April??? I really do hope so. I'm sure I'll be digging around somewhere nearby, still desperately trying to find out when this nonsense ends! Reading hints and "cracking fakeness/subtlety codes", including normal/appropriate ones, is not my strength...I can't tell which of my own preferences and models for other people's behavior are seen or lame or are inaccurate models of how other people tend to think, interact, and prefer to be treated these days...e.g., I hadn't thought about consent until 2014, and now it is a key part of how I interact with others, and yet as an "interaction shirt" so to speak, I have never worn it in a real conversation with another person who was not simply in character as that woman at Kroger that I fell in love with and then extremely quickly fell out of love with after 10 days was--it was a very sophisticated, very hurtful fake, and my psych doctor wasn't helping.
> > >
> > > Anyway, I am feeling pretty OK. It was kind of not fun to write that post again, but the music I am listening to is OK.
> > Also, for those wondering about me psychologically, I have a very good plan to improve my ability to be perceptive about other people and their feelings, especially including sincerity and being genuine, using some basic psychology ideas I thought of. Most of my STEM ideas, which are for publication and for other people, are "industrial strength STEM ideas" that are based largely on mathematical formalisms. Sometimes, I find it worthwhile, as in this case, to focus on less formal ideas that will help me as a sort of "not even biological but real-world guide" to things.
> >
> > Also, now that I'm worried about my email...as I sort of expected, I never got a reply from Professor Sipser regarding my malware-and-research-related email. I wonder if he did email me back but the message was shot down? The time before last, I didn't receive his message also...that was years ago, it was just another one of my P vs. NP questions. Professor has only ever not responded to emails me that I have sent those two times; in the past, I was quite impressed with him and liked him a lot not that I knew him well, and he once sent me an unpublished paper he had written about P vs. NP when I was an undergraduate student. I believe I started emailing him in either 2007 or 2008...I remember when I was hit by a car on Nov 20, 2007, crossing the street going from the UMW apartments (like dorm rooms off the main campus for the students) to the main campus of UMW--I was going either to the math/CS academic building, Trinkle, or to the library (I think it was that one), to some light studying related task--that the last thing I remembered before I blacked out and forgot everything else, rather amusingly, was that I had just realized that my extremely simple approach to P = NP didn't work, because I hadn't realized at the time that my mistake was believing that NP = coNP in some argument I was considering. Clearly, I have made *extremely tremendous* progress since then!
> >
> > I think Michael Sipser is probably not evil...it is very difficult to sort through my "paranoia processing"--I think that thought disorders are more about processing issues, rather than "pure extremeness issues," i.e., I'm not "too paranoid," I have "paranoia-related processing issues," where I'll get some "danger-related theory" and either be way too naive and "un-aroused" in the right way, or I'll be quite aroused enough but feeling insanely stressed out and unsure of what's true, or extremely aroused about the wrong thing to focus on.
> >
> > So anyway, I'll end this post now I guess. I don't have much else to say. I am going to get better at hints and assessing others' moods when I'm back to normal...probably, I'll do great with socializing anyway, but *the feeling of continual improvement* at socializing would make me feel better about my previous *very serious perceptiveness errors* that were truly for real and scary/upsetting...next time, I'll be less likely to be wrong...and maybe it will help me impress women I date more too in the future, better to err on the side of trying to being too skilled at understanding others.
> The top lesson of the day is, which I drew my own attention to recently is:
>
> Sometimes, if you treat others as you want to be treated, and try to be attentive to everything they want, and try to grow up and listen to past criticisms about you having been annoying or unpleasant, and you really try to consider how to treat someone else right and fairly and properly, if you go all out to please the person, the person might *still* find you *extremely irritating*, and the person might not admit it. Maybe "repulsive" in a way is better than "irritating"; most healthy people don't get all that irritated in normal social situations where the other person isn't trying...it is just that some people have very sensitive preferences in socializing--I really am not too sensitive like that, I like most people who aren't mean or "hiding an evil backstabber personality" behind a smile, I can't stand dealing with such malicious people these days--and unless you use your mind and ideas--maybe you should develop a "psych theory/tool" to help you understand others better, that can be helpful--to try to get a better sense of others' wants and preferences including when interacting, including ones they're not even aware of, and ones they wouldn't advertise, maybe for fear of being rude or causing a hassle to someone else.
>
> In general, you should assume that if you talk to someone for 15 seconds once a month, they won't find that annoying if they're healthy and you are not a bad person. Being willing to go away when asked and respect consent attentively is very smart, because people don't need to go to "DEFCON 20" because they feel trapped by you and don't know what to do about their inability to get rid of you...probably, judging from JRB's horrible conduct with me, he and Obama have problems with "trapping" people who sabotage them quite subtly (probably Jay-Z, I wouldn't be surprised at all, and I'm very allowed to mention the issue), and that is related to how improperly they're dealing with me.
>
> If someone seems enthusiastic about spending more time with you, then that is probably a good cue that they like you, unless the person has a possible hidden alternate motive or finds you so disgusting and so disgustingly amusing that he/she wants to have fun doing a fake-out around you as some sort of mean and inappropriate satire.
>
> Those are just basic, non-intense-STEMmy thoughts for now.

On Wednesday, April 26, 2023 at 12:24:49 AM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> On Wednesday, April 26, 2023 at 12:14:41 AM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > On Wednesday, April 26, 2023 at 12:07:27 AM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > On Tuesday, April 25, 2023 at 11:55:15 PM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > On Tuesday, April 25, 2023 at 11:37:05 PM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > On Tuesday, April 25, 2023 at 11:01:56 PM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > > On Tuesday, April 25, 2023 at 11:01:04 PM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > > > On Tuesday, April 25, 2023 at 11:00:25 PM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > > > > https://www.cnn.com/2023/01/24/us/how-many-mass-shootings-2023-dg-xpn/index.html
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > You have already killed 219 people this year. How many more will you kill?
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > I suspect the malware is going to stop my Python from working.
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > Maybe I will start to write more psychologically potent posts, maybe I'll write fiction, see if that will change things and help me get out of here.
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > I'm taking tomorrow off for sure though.
> > > > > > > Do you want *anything* rational at all, or just human suffering Christmas tree ornaments?
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > You idiots are sick.
> > > > > > At this point, one really good question is: If someone foreign *really wanted* to set off a nuclear bomb somewhere in the USA, what force, exactly would stop them?
> > > > > >
> > > > > > I don't think there is one any more.
> > > > > OK I'm gonna be calm now and relax and enjoy myself.
> > > > >
> > > > > https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7IzD4gI1Cs4
> > > > >
> > > > > So, yeah, I found out about Jenny Slate from the Westfield skit, great idea, you can call me Manson. Maybe famous people cannot email me due to email issues...so I don't have to be angry.
> > > > >
> > > > > So yeah, I think she is lying about smoking pot. Maybe A Shawkat was lying too, I don't know. I've gotta do this one a time here.
> > > > >
> > > > > Here's the thing: I have investigated and researched "being in your 30's," by being my 30's. As it turns out, there is a special thing called "The Chips Limit," which I actually discovered just today and which is not the same thing as The Tipping Point, and ...yeah I am really handsome, not literally a dentist, I'll date you, sure...so the thing is that you definitely *cannot* eat 20 chips (Harvest Cheddar) in ...is that improv?...it...could be...and yeah I am handsome enough, I'm getting there, getting thinner...so yeah you cannot actually eat 20 Harvest Cheddar Sun Chips in your 30's and feel good about it, I checked. I think the right "chips limit" is somewhere between 10 and 15 chips.
> > > > >
> > > > > I don't get the "anyone take me home and put me in a box in a basement" part...am I being honored for being a good critical thinker, reader, and listener? TRL? TLDR, dazzled? Yeah I'm dazzling. Thanks for noticing.
> > > > >
> > > > > I think Jenny Slate is my type except for the making up elaborate lies thing.
> > > > >
> > > > > I am good at art, I can be!
> > > > >
> > > > > I have watched Venom. I'm very cultured and political too, I didn't listen to the Eminem thing at the end because I'm so liberal and tolerant.
> > > > >
> > > > > I don't know anything about the "Tootsie Roll" limit.
> > > > I just decided to change my mind at look at Jennifer Shahade's Twitter again.
> > > >
> > > > https://twitter.com/jenshahade
> > > >
> > > > I like that she accepted my request to apparently not mention me. Thanks. At this point, I don't mind if JS wants to mention me again if she is reading this...I don't mind if I am not mentioned at all again. I like that I asked for a reasonable request and was complied with.
> > > >
> > > > Is it actually over in April? Maybe it is not. I am not complaining about Ms. Shahde. Also, btw, when I was 9 years old, I got written up in the Maryland chess club (or Maryland chess something) news letter...I was rated like 1000 or 1100, and at a tournament, I beat a man who was maybe in his 40's who was rated like 1600, and the Maryland newsletter wrote about my game. That was neat...I wasn't seen as an up and coming star then though.
> > > >
> > > > Also, my math-driven chess theories have come along. I might still get back into playing chess someday.
> > > >
> > > > Additionally, regarding this comment:
> > > >
> > > > "The part that surprised me the most is how much he enjoyed the drama and excitement of it all. It even made losing tolerable."
> > > >
> > > > I can't tell if she is expressing some sort of anger about the deaths of the two women...I can't gauge whatever hints or implications are within this, or if she is angry, that is not even close to being anything like a strength of mine yet, I haven't socialized in over a decade...I can only confidently take the comment at close to face value. I don't think I *enjoyed* the drama much...I was stimulated by it very mildly, it was not very dramatic to me. I enjoy certain kinds of drama. The attention I paid is intended as, "I do not want to get in trouble for not saying something and explaining myself clearly, since I just 'bombed Israel' in a way that I claim was legal, moral, and self-defense, and also killed two innocent people." I don't think I *enjoyed* the drama...I debate well, I can go on and on about issues, *finish up making the point and finish strong*--the phrase "finish strong" came from the 3 miles runs at UMW Rugby and I never saw Steven van der Briel there and I am not him. It is like, if you are typing something, and you have a homework assignment, you'd better do it right...that is why I may sound involved or eagerly pursuing something, which is closer to an "A" as in "not an F in some people's eyes who do not see things as I do and do not speak to me." If I enjoyed the drama of explaining why I did something that likely caused two people to die, I enjoyed it about as much as an internet debate with someone I don't agree with. I err on the side of verbosity. I want people to feel that they do understand how I am thinking and feeling clearly and that I am being genuine, so that my own fear, of being fooled by overly subtle/tricky fake people, isn't something I put others through. I have used lots of science/math ideas in my writing at least in the past. I don't want people to feel uncomfortable with that. To me, it would be *refreshing* to have someone take my concerns into account that attentively...maybe others roll their eyes, and I don't know how deep the eye-rolling at everything I value in other people's behavior and conduct goes, since I don't really know any people in terms of conversing with them any more. I know a King Charles Cavalier Spaniel and I talk a little bit to a nurse practitioner once a month, other than that, I would appear to be banned from socializing by bad guys.
> > > >
> > > > Is it over in April??? I really do hope so. I'm sure I'll be digging around somewhere nearby, still desperately trying to find out when this nonsense ends! Reading hints and "cracking fakeness/subtlety codes", including normal/appropriate ones, is not my strength...I can't tell which of my own preferences and models for other people's behavior are seen or lame or are inaccurate models of how other people tend to think, interact, and prefer to be treated these days...e.g., I hadn't thought about consent until 2014, and now it is a key part of how I interact with others, and yet as an "interaction shirt" so to speak, I have never worn it in a real conversation with another person who was not simply in character as that woman at Kroger that I fell in love with and then extremely quickly fell out of love with after 10 days was--it was a very sophisticated, very hurtful fake, and my psych doctor wasn't helping.
> > > >
> > > > Anyway, I am feeling pretty OK. It was kind of not fun to write that post again, but the music I am listening to is OK.
> > > Also, for those wondering about me psychologically, I have a very good plan to improve my ability to be perceptive about other people and their feelings, especially including sincerity and being genuine, using some basic psychology ideas I thought of. Most of my STEM ideas, which are for publication and for other people, are "industrial strength STEM ideas" that are based largely on mathematical formalisms. Sometimes, I find it worthwhile, as in this case, to focus on less formal ideas that will help me as a sort of "not even biological but real-world guide" to things.
> > >
> > > Also, now that I'm worried about my email...as I sort of expected, I never got a reply from Professor Sipser regarding my malware-and-research-related email. I wonder if he did email me back but the message was shot down? The time before last, I didn't receive his message also...that was years ago, it was just another one of my P vs. NP questions. Professor has only ever not responded to emails me that I have sent those two times; in the past, I was quite impressed with him and liked him a lot not that I knew him well, and he once sent me an unpublished paper he had written about P vs. NP when I was an undergraduate student. I believe I started emailing him in either 2007 or 2008...I remember when I was hit by a car on Nov 20, 2007, crossing the street going from the UMW apartments (like dorm rooms off the main campus for the students) to the main campus of UMW--I was going either to the math/CS academic building, Trinkle, or to the library (I think it was that one), to some light studying related task--that the last thing I remembered before I blacked out and forgot everything else, rather amusingly, was that I had just realized that my extremely simple approach to P = NP didn't work, because I hadn't realized at the time that my mistake was believing that NP = coNP in some argument I was considering. Clearly, I have made *extremely tremendous* progress since then!
> > >
> > > I think Michael Sipser is probably not evil...it is very difficult to sort through my "paranoia processing"--I think that thought disorders are more about processing issues, rather than "pure extremeness issues," i.e., I'm not "too paranoid," I have "paranoia-related processing issues," where I'll get some "danger-related theory" and either be way too naive and "un-aroused" in the right way, or I'll be quite aroused enough but feeling insanely stressed out and unsure of what's true, or extremely aroused about the wrong thing to focus on.
> > >
> > > So anyway, I'll end this post now I guess. I don't have much else to say. I am going to get better at hints and assessing others' moods when I'm back to normal...probably, I'll do great with socializing anyway, but *the feeling of continual improvement* at socializing would make me feel better about my previous *very serious perceptiveness errors* that were truly for real and scary/upsetting...next time, I'll be less likely to be wrong...and maybe it will help me impress women I date more too in the future, better to err on the side of trying to being too skilled at understanding others.
> > The top lesson of the day is, which I drew my own attention to recently is:
> >
> > Sometimes, if you treat others as you want to be treated, and try to be attentive to everything they want, and try to grow up and listen to past criticisms about you having been annoying or unpleasant, and you really try to consider how to treat someone else right and fairly and properly, if you go all out to please the person, the person might *still* find you *extremely irritating*, and the person might not admit it. Maybe "repulsive" in a way is better than "irritating"; most healthy people don't get all that irritated in normal social situations where the other person isn't trying...it is just that some people have very sensitive preferences in socializing--I really am not too sensitive like that, I like most people who aren't mean or "hiding an evil backstabber personality" behind a smile, I can't stand dealing with such malicious people these days--and unless you use your mind and ideas--maybe you should develop a "psych theory/tool" to help you understand others better, that can be helpful--to try to get a better sense of others' wants and preferences including when interacting, including ones they're not even aware of, and ones they wouldn't advertise, maybe for fear of being rude or causing a hassle to someone else.
> >
> > In general, you should assume that if you talk to someone for 15 seconds once a month, they won't find that annoying if they're healthy and you are not a bad person. Being willing to go away when asked and respect consent attentively is very smart, because people don't need to go to "DEFCON 20" because they feel trapped by you and don't know what to do about their inability to get rid of you...probably, judging from JRB's horrible conduct with me, he and Obama have problems with "trapping" people who sabotage them quite subtly (probably Jay-Z, I wouldn't be surprised at all, and I'm very allowed to mention the issue), and that is related to how improperly they're dealing with me.
> >
> > If someone seems enthusiastic about spending more time with you, then that is probably a good cue that they like you, unless the person has a possible hidden alternate motive or finds you so disgusting and so disgustingly amusing that he/she wants to have fun doing a fake-out around you as some sort of mean and inappropriate satire.
> >
> > Those are just basic, non-intense-STEMmy thoughts for now.
> So yeah, I can't tell if celebrity people who mentioned me are unable to email me. Some of the flirty women, including the indecent exposure women, from the past probably know my name...can they email me?
>
> In case you can't tell, it is very hurtful and upsetting to have, e.g., Jenny Slate and other very pretty female celebrities mention me on the news or in their performances, and act like they would like to date and / or befriend or speak to me, and then at the end of the day--I think I am out--they are just kidding. That is really mean and hurtful, and I know I'm going good places in life in my future with my career and improvements, but I have worked, with some great success (!!), at calming down with my anger and spiteful, intentionally insulting and provocative comments, but I don't understand why people would think that is a good idea to do that to me. In the past, I was less able to be stably in touch with reality than other people, and as of now, given another med increase (last one? I hope so....), I am now even more stable. I was stable enough to talk before, it is very disappointing and hurtful to me that people were so mean to me for no reason, and I will be OK, but I do not like this kind of treatment, and it is clear that I am a very nice and *worthwhile*, to emphasize that word person.
>
> I think at this point, sounding a little bit whiny is better than sounding/feeling too angry for me, at this point, healthwise.
>
> Here's looking at asking for better treatment, from everyone, in the future! Try to be nice and treat everyone you know, especially including me, with an appropriately high level of respect! Try being nice, even I know that's how you make friends the most effectively!

On Wednesday, April 26, 2023 at 12:27:28 AM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> On Wednesday, April 26, 2023 at 12:24:49 AM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > On Wednesday, April 26, 2023 at 12:14:41 AM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > On Wednesday, April 26, 2023 at 12:07:27 AM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > On Tuesday, April 25, 2023 at 11:55:15 PM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > On Tuesday, April 25, 2023 at 11:37:05 PM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > > On Tuesday, April 25, 2023 at 11:01:56 PM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > > > On Tuesday, April 25, 2023 at 11:01:04 PM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > > > > On Tuesday, April 25, 2023 at 11:00:25 PM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > > > > > https://www.cnn.com/2023/01/24/us/how-many-mass-shootings-2023-dg-xpn/index.html
> > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > You have already killed 219 people this year. How many more will you kill?
> > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > I suspect the malware is going to stop my Python from working.
> > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > Maybe I will start to write more psychologically potent posts, maybe I'll write fiction, see if that will change things and help me get out of here.
> > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > I'm taking tomorrow off for sure though.
> > > > > > > > Do you want *anything* rational at all, or just human suffering Christmas tree ornaments?
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > You idiots are sick.
> > > > > > > At this point, one really good question is: If someone foreign *really wanted* to set off a nuclear bomb somewhere in the USA, what force, exactly would stop them?
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > I don't think there is one any more.
> > > > > > OK I'm gonna be calm now and relax and enjoy myself.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7IzD4gI1Cs4
> > > > > >
> > > > > > So, yeah, I found out about Jenny Slate from the Westfield skit, great idea, you can call me Manson. Maybe famous people cannot email me due to email issues...so I don't have to be angry.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > So yeah, I think she is lying about smoking pot. Maybe A Shawkat was lying too, I don't know. I've gotta do this one a time here.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Here's the thing: I have investigated and researched "being in your 30's," by being my 30's. As it turns out, there is a special thing called "The Chips Limit," which I actually discovered just today and which is not the same thing as The Tipping Point, and ...yeah I am really handsome, not literally a dentist, I'll date you, sure...so the thing is that you definitely *cannot* eat 20 chips (Harvest Cheddar) in ...is that improv?...it....could be...and yeah I am handsome enough, I'm getting there, getting thinner...so yeah you cannot actually eat 20 Harvest Cheddar Sun Chips in your 30's and feel good about it, I checked. I think the right "chips limit" is somewhere between 10 and 15 chips.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > I don't get the "anyone take me home and put me in a box in a basement" part...am I being honored for being a good critical thinker, reader, and listener? TRL? TLDR, dazzled? Yeah I'm dazzling. Thanks for noticing..
> > > > > >
> > > > > > I think Jenny Slate is my type except for the making up elaborate lies thing.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > I am good at art, I can be!
> > > > > >
> > > > > > I have watched Venom. I'm very cultured and political too, I didn't listen to the Eminem thing at the end because I'm so liberal and tolerant.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > I don't know anything about the "Tootsie Roll" limit.
> > > > > I just decided to change my mind at look at Jennifer Shahade's Twitter again.
> > > > >
> > > > > https://twitter.com/jenshahade
> > > > >
> > > > > I like that she accepted my request to apparently not mention me. Thanks. At this point, I don't mind if JS wants to mention me again if she is reading this...I don't mind if I am not mentioned at all again. I like that I asked for a reasonable request and was complied with.
> > > > >
> > > > > Is it actually over in April? Maybe it is not. I am not complaining about Ms. Shahde. Also, btw, when I was 9 years old, I got written up in the Maryland chess club (or Maryland chess something) news letter...I was rated like 1000 or 1100, and at a tournament, I beat a man who was maybe in his 40's who was rated like 1600, and the Maryland newsletter wrote about my game. That was neat...I wasn't seen as an up and coming star then though..
> > > > >
> > > > > Also, my math-driven chess theories have come along. I might still get back into playing chess someday.
> > > > >
> > > > > Additionally, regarding this comment:
> > > > >
> > > > > "The part that surprised me the most is how much he enjoyed the drama and excitement of it all. It even made losing tolerable."
> > > > >
> > > > > I can't tell if she is expressing some sort of anger about the deaths of the two women...I can't gauge whatever hints or implications are within this, or if she is angry, that is not even close to being anything like a strength of mine yet, I haven't socialized in over a decade...I can only confidently take the comment at close to face value. I don't think I *enjoyed* the drama much...I was stimulated by it very mildly, it was not very dramatic to me. I enjoy certain kinds of drama. The attention I paid is intended as, "I do not want to get in trouble for not saying something and explaining myself clearly, since I just 'bombed Israel' in a way that I claim was legal, moral, and self-defense, and also killed two innocent people." I don't think I *enjoyed* the drama...I debate well, I can go on and on about issues, *finish up making the point and finish strong*--the phrase "finish strong" came from the 3 miles runs at UMW Rugby and I never saw Steven van der Briel there and I am not him. It is like, if you are typing something, and you have a homework assignment, you'd better do it right...that is why I may sound involved or eagerly pursuing something, which is closer to an "A" as in "not an F in some people's eyes who do not see things as I do and do not speak to me." If I enjoyed the drama of explaining why I did something that likely caused two people to die, I enjoyed it about as much as an internet debate with someone I don't agree with. I err on the side of verbosity. I want people to feel that they do understand how I am thinking and feeling clearly and that I am being genuine, so that my own fear, of being fooled by overly subtle/tricky fake people, isn't something I put others through. I have used lots of science/math ideas in my writing at least in the past. I don't want people to feel uncomfortable with that. To me, it would be *refreshing* to have someone take my concerns into account that attentively...maybe others roll their eyes, and I don't know how deep the eye-rolling at everything I value in other people's behavior and conduct goes, since I don't really know any people in terms of conversing with them any more. I know a King Charles Cavalier Spaniel and I talk a little bit to a nurse practitioner once a month, other than that, I would appear to be banned from socializing by bad guys.
> > > > >
> > > > > Is it over in April??? I really do hope so. I'm sure I'll be digging around somewhere nearby, still desperately trying to find out when this nonsense ends! Reading hints and "cracking fakeness/subtlety codes", including normal/appropriate ones, is not my strength...I can't tell which of my own preferences and models for other people's behavior are seen or lame or are inaccurate models of how other people tend to think, interact, and prefer to be treated these days...e.g., I hadn't thought about consent until 2014, and now it is a key part of how I interact with others, and yet as an "interaction shirt" so to speak, I have never worn it in a real conversation with another person who was not simply in character as that woman at Kroger that I fell in love with and then extremely quickly fell out of love with after 10 days was--it was a very sophisticated, very hurtful fake, and my psych doctor wasn't helping.
> > > > >
> > > > > Anyway, I am feeling pretty OK. It was kind of not fun to write that post again, but the music I am listening to is OK.
> > > > Also, for those wondering about me psychologically, I have a very good plan to improve my ability to be perceptive about other people and their feelings, especially including sincerity and being genuine, using some basic psychology ideas I thought of. Most of my STEM ideas, which are for publication and for other people, are "industrial strength STEM ideas" that are based largely on mathematical formalisms. Sometimes, I find it worthwhile, as in this case, to focus on less formal ideas that will help me as a sort of "not even biological but real-world guide" to things.
> > > >
> > > > Also, now that I'm worried about my email...as I sort of expected, I never got a reply from Professor Sipser regarding my malware-and-research-related email. I wonder if he did email me back but the message was shot down? The time before last, I didn't receive his message also...that was years ago, it was just another one of my P vs. NP questions. Professor has only ever not responded to emails me that I have sent those two times; in the past, I was quite impressed with him and liked him a lot not that I knew him well, and he once sent me an unpublished paper he had written about P vs. NP when I was an undergraduate student. I believe I started emailing him in either 2007 or 2008...I remember when I was hit by a car on Nov 20, 2007, crossing the street going from the UMW apartments (like dorm rooms off the main campus for the students) to the main campus of UMW--I was going either to the math/CS academic building, Trinkle, or to the library (I think it was that one), to some light studying related task--that the last thing I remembered before I blacked out and forgot everything else, rather amusingly, was that I had just realized that my extremely simple approach to P = NP didn't work, because I hadn't realized at the time that my mistake was believing that NP = coNP in some argument I was considering. Clearly, I have made *extremely tremendous* progress since then!
> > > >
> > > > I think Michael Sipser is probably not evil...it is very difficult to sort through my "paranoia processing"--I think that thought disorders are more about processing issues, rather than "pure extremeness issues," i.e., I'm not "too paranoid," I have "paranoia-related processing issues," where I'll get some "danger-related theory" and either be way too naive and "un-aroused" in the right way, or I'll be quite aroused enough but feeling insanely stressed out and unsure of what's true, or extremely aroused about the wrong thing to focus on.
> > > >
> > > > So anyway, I'll end this post now I guess. I don't have much else to say. I am going to get better at hints and assessing others' moods when I'm back to normal...probably, I'll do great with socializing anyway, but *the feeling of continual improvement* at socializing would make me feel better about my previous *very serious perceptiveness errors* that were truly for real and scary/upsetting...next time, I'll be less likely to be wrong...and maybe it will help me impress women I date more too in the future, better to err on the side of trying to being too skilled at understanding others.
> > > The top lesson of the day is, which I drew my own attention to recently is:
> > >
> > > Sometimes, if you treat others as you want to be treated, and try to be attentive to everything they want, and try to grow up and listen to past criticisms about you having been annoying or unpleasant, and you really try to consider how to treat someone else right and fairly and properly, if you go all out to please the person, the person might *still* find you *extremely irritating*, and the person might not admit it. Maybe "repulsive" in a way is better than "irritating"; most healthy people don't get all that irritated in normal social situations where the other person isn't trying...it is just that some people have very sensitive preferences in socializing--I really am not too sensitive like that, I like most people who aren't mean or "hiding an evil backstabber personality" behind a smile, I can't stand dealing with such malicious people these days--and unless you use your mind and ideas--maybe you should develop a "psych theory/tool" to help you understand others better, that can be helpful--to try to get a better sense of others' wants and preferences including when interacting, including ones they're not even aware of, and ones they wouldn't advertise, maybe for fear of being rude or causing a hassle to someone else.
> > >
> > > In general, you should assume that if you talk to someone for 15 seconds once a month, they won't find that annoying if they're healthy and you are not a bad person. Being willing to go away when asked and respect consent attentively is very smart, because people don't need to go to "DEFCON 20" because they feel trapped by you and don't know what to do about their inability to get rid of you...probably, judging from JRB's horrible conduct with me, he and Obama have problems with "trapping" people who sabotage them quite subtly (probably Jay-Z, I wouldn't be surprised at all, and I'm very allowed to mention the issue), and that is related to how improperly they're dealing with me.
> > >
> > > If someone seems enthusiastic about spending more time with you, then that is probably a good cue that they like you, unless the person has a possible hidden alternate motive or finds you so disgusting and so disgustingly amusing that he/she wants to have fun doing a fake-out around you as some sort of mean and inappropriate satire.
> > >
> > > Those are just basic, non-intense-STEMmy thoughts for now.
> > So yeah, I can't tell if celebrity people who mentioned me are unable to email me. Some of the flirty women, including the indecent exposure women, from the past probably know my name...can they email me?
> >
> > In case you can't tell, it is very hurtful and upsetting to have, e.g., Jenny Slate and other very pretty female celebrities mention me on the news or in their performances, and act like they would like to date and / or befriend or speak to me, and then at the end of the day--I think I am out--they are just kidding. That is really mean and hurtful, and I know I'm going good places in life in my future with my career and improvements, but I have worked, with some great success (!!), at calming down with my anger and spiteful, intentionally insulting and provocative comments, but I don't understand why people would think that is a good idea to do that to me. In the past, I was less able to be stably in touch with reality than other people, and as of now, given another med increase (last one? I hope so....), I am now even more stable. I was stable enough to talk before, it is very disappointing and hurtful to me that people were so mean to me for no reason, and I will be OK, but I do not like this kind of treatment, and it is clear that I am a very nice and *worthwhile*, to emphasize that word person.
> >
> > I think at this point, sounding a little bit whiny is better than sounding/feeling too angry for me, at this point, healthwise.
> >
> > Here's looking at asking for better treatment, from everyone, in the future! Try to be nice and treat everyone you know, especially including me, with an appropriately high level of respect! Try being nice, even I know that's how you make friends the most effectively!
> I'm pretty sure I'll be able to get my Python project to work effectively, from this computer, soon enough. I'll take some time off before I do it....the idea looks great and an appropriate solution to the specific problem. I'm going to take at least one more day off though, maybe 2 days...I want to feel already relaxed and calm and ready to just work and get some things done, without feeling stressed out. As I often do, I'll probably plan out a schedule and outline for doing all of my work the night before I actually start doing it.

On Wednesday, April 26, 2023 at 1:15:27 AM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> On Wednesday, April 26, 2023 at 12:27:28 AM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > On Wednesday, April 26, 2023 at 12:24:49 AM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > On Wednesday, April 26, 2023 at 12:14:41 AM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > On Wednesday, April 26, 2023 at 12:07:27 AM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > On Tuesday, April 25, 2023 at 11:55:15 PM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > > On Tuesday, April 25, 2023 at 11:37:05 PM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > > > On Tuesday, April 25, 2023 at 11:01:56 PM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > > > > On Tuesday, April 25, 2023 at 11:01:04 PM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > > > > > On Tuesday, April 25, 2023 at 11:00:25 PM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > > > > > > https://www.cnn.com/2023/01/24/us/how-many-mass-shootings-2023-dg-xpn/index.html
> > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > You have already killed 219 people this year. How many more will you kill?
> > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > I suspect the malware is going to stop my Python from working.
> > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > Maybe I will start to write more psychologically potent posts, maybe I'll write fiction, see if that will change things and help me get out of here.
> > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > I'm taking tomorrow off for sure though.
> > > > > > > > > Do you want *anything* rational at all, or just human suffering Christmas tree ornaments?
> > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > You idiots are sick.
> > > > > > > > At this point, one really good question is: If someone foreign *really wanted* to set off a nuclear bomb somewhere in the USA, what force, exactly would stop them?
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > I don't think there is one any more.
> > > > > > > OK I'm gonna be calm now and relax and enjoy myself.
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7IzD4gI1Cs4
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > So, yeah, I found out about Jenny Slate from the Westfield skit, great idea, you can call me Manson. Maybe famous people cannot email me due to email issues...so I don't have to be angry.
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > So yeah, I think she is lying about smoking pot. Maybe A Shawkat was lying too, I don't know. I've gotta do this one a time here.
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > Here's the thing: I have investigated and researched "being in your 30's," by being my 30's. As it turns out, there is a special thing called "The Chips Limit," which I actually discovered just today and which is not the same thing as The Tipping Point, and ...yeah I am really handsome, not literally a dentist, I'll date you, sure...so the thing is that you definitely *cannot* eat 20 chips (Harvest Cheddar) in ...is that improv?...it...could be...and yeah I am handsome enough, I'm getting there, getting thinner...so yeah you cannot actually eat 20 Harvest Cheddar Sun Chips in your 30's and feel good about it, I checked. I think the right "chips limit" is somewhere between 10 and 15 chips.
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > I don't get the "anyone take me home and put me in a box in a basement" part...am I being honored for being a good critical thinker, reader, and listener? TRL? TLDR, dazzled? Yeah I'm dazzling. Thanks for noticing.
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > I think Jenny Slate is my type except for the making up elaborate lies thing.
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > I am good at art, I can be!
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > I have watched Venom. I'm very cultured and political too, I didn't listen to the Eminem thing at the end because I'm so liberal and tolerant.
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > I don't know anything about the "Tootsie Roll" limit.
> > > > > > I just decided to change my mind at look at Jennifer Shahade's Twitter again.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > https://twitter.com/jenshahade
> > > > > >
> > > > > > I like that she accepted my request to apparently not mention me. Thanks. At this point, I don't mind if JS wants to mention me again if she is reading this...I don't mind if I am not mentioned at all again. I like that I asked for a reasonable request and was complied with.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Is it actually over in April? Maybe it is not. I am not complaining about Ms. Shahde. Also, btw, when I was 9 years old, I got written up in the Maryland chess club (or Maryland chess something) news letter...I was rated like 1000 or 1100, and at a tournament, I beat a man who was maybe in his 40's who was rated like 1600, and the Maryland newsletter wrote about my game. That was neat...I wasn't seen as an up and coming star then though.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Also, my math-driven chess theories have come along. I might still get back into playing chess someday.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Additionally, regarding this comment:
> > > > > >
> > > > > > "The part that surprised me the most is how much he enjoyed the drama and excitement of it all. It even made losing tolerable."
> > > > > >
> > > > > > I can't tell if she is expressing some sort of anger about the deaths of the two women...I can't gauge whatever hints or implications are within this, or if she is angry, that is not even close to being anything like a strength of mine yet, I haven't socialized in over a decade...I can only confidently take the comment at close to face value. I don't think I *enjoyed* the drama much...I was stimulated by it very mildly, it was not very dramatic to me. I enjoy certain kinds of drama. The attention I paid is intended as, "I do not want to get in trouble for not saying something and explaining myself clearly, since I just 'bombed Israel' in a way that I claim was legal, moral, and self-defense, and also killed two innocent people." I don't think I *enjoyed* the drama...I debate well, I can go on and on about issues, *finish up making the point and finish strong*--the phrase "finish strong" came from the 3 miles runs at UMW Rugby and I never saw Steven van der Briel there and I am not him. It is like, if you are typing something, and you have a homework assignment, you'd better do it right...that is why I may sound involved or eagerly pursuing something, which is closer to an "A" as in "not an F in some people's eyes who do not see things as I do and do not speak to me." If I enjoyed the drama of explaining why I did something that likely caused two people to die, I enjoyed it about as much as an internet debate with someone I don't agree with. I err on the side of verbosity. I want people to feel that they do understand how I am thinking and feeling clearly and that I am being genuine, so that my own fear, of being fooled by overly subtle/tricky fake people, isn't something I put others through. I have used lots of science/math ideas in my writing at least in the past. I don't want people to feel uncomfortable with that. To me, it would be *refreshing* to have someone take my concerns into account that attentively...maybe others roll their eyes, and I don't know how deep the eye-rolling at everything I value in other people's behavior and conduct goes, since I don't really know any people in terms of conversing with them any more. I know a King Charles Cavalier Spaniel and I talk a little bit to a nurse practitioner once a month, other than that, I would appear to be banned from socializing by bad guys.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Is it over in April??? I really do hope so. I'm sure I'll be digging around somewhere nearby, still desperately trying to find out when this nonsense ends! Reading hints and "cracking fakeness/subtlety codes", including normal/appropriate ones, is not my strength...I can't tell which of my own preferences and models for other people's behavior are seen or lame or are inaccurate models of how other people tend to think, interact, and prefer to be treated these days...e.g., I hadn't thought about consent until 2014, and now it is a key part of how I interact with others, and yet as an "interaction shirt" so to speak, I have never worn it in a real conversation with another person who was not simply in character as that woman at Kroger that I fell in love with and then extremely quickly fell out of love with after 10 days was--it was a very sophisticated, very hurtful fake, and my psych doctor wasn't helping.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Anyway, I am feeling pretty OK. It was kind of not fun to write that post again, but the music I am listening to is OK.
> > > > > Also, for those wondering about me psychologically, I have a very good plan to improve my ability to be perceptive about other people and their feelings, especially including sincerity and being genuine, using some basic psychology ideas I thought of. Most of my STEM ideas, which are for publication and for other people, are "industrial strength STEM ideas" that are based largely on mathematical formalisms. Sometimes, I find it worthwhile, as in this case, to focus on less formal ideas that will help me as a sort of "not even biological but real-world guide" to things.
> > > > >
> > > > > Also, now that I'm worried about my email...as I sort of expected, I never got a reply from Professor Sipser regarding my malware-and-research-related email. I wonder if he did email me back but the message was shot down? The time before last, I didn't receive his message also...that was years ago, it was just another one of my P vs. NP questions. Professor has only ever not responded to emails me that I have sent those two times; in the past, I was quite impressed with him and liked him a lot not that I knew him well, and he once sent me an unpublished paper he had written about P vs. NP when I was an undergraduate student. I believe I started emailing him in either 2007 or 2008...I remember when I was hit by a car on Nov 20, 2007, crossing the street going from the UMW apartments (like dorm rooms off the main campus for the students) to the main campus of UMW--I was going either to the math/CS academic building, Trinkle, or to the library (I think it was that one), to some light studying related task--that the last thing I remembered before I blacked out and forgot everything else, rather amusingly, was that I had just realized that my extremely simple approach to P = NP didn't work, because I hadn't realized at the time that my mistake was believing that NP = coNP in some argument I was considering. Clearly, I have made *extremely tremendous* progress since then!
> > > > >
> > > > > I think Michael Sipser is probably not evil...it is very difficult to sort through my "paranoia processing"--I think that thought disorders are more about processing issues, rather than "pure extremeness issues," i.e., I'm not "too paranoid," I have "paranoia-related processing issues," where I'll get some "danger-related theory" and either be way too naive and "un-aroused" in the right way, or I'll be quite aroused enough but feeling insanely stressed out and unsure of what's true, or extremely aroused about the wrong thing to focus on.
> > > > >
> > > > > So anyway, I'll end this post now I guess. I don't have much else to say. I am going to get better at hints and assessing others' moods when I'm back to normal...probably, I'll do great with socializing anyway, but *the feeling of continual improvement* at socializing would make me feel better about my previous *very serious perceptiveness errors* that were truly for real and scary/upsetting...next time, I'll be less likely to be wrong....and maybe it will help me impress women I date more too in the future, better to err on the side of trying to being too skilled at understanding others.
> > > > The top lesson of the day is, which I drew my own attention to recently is:
> > > >
> > > > Sometimes, if you treat others as you want to be treated, and try to be attentive to everything they want, and try to grow up and listen to past criticisms about you having been annoying or unpleasant, and you really try to consider how to treat someone else right and fairly and properly, if you go all out to please the person, the person might *still* find you *extremely irritating*, and the person might not admit it. Maybe "repulsive" in a way is better than "irritating"; most healthy people don't get all that irritated in normal social situations where the other person isn't trying....it is just that some people have very sensitive preferences in socializing--I really am not too sensitive like that, I like most people who aren't mean or "hiding an evil backstabber personality" behind a smile, I can't stand dealing with such malicious people these days--and unless you use your mind and ideas--maybe you should develop a "psych theory/tool" to help you understand others better, that can be helpful--to try to get a better sense of others' wants and preferences including when interacting, including ones they're not even aware of, and ones they wouldn't advertise, maybe for fear of being rude or causing a hassle to someone else.
> > > >
> > > > In general, you should assume that if you talk to someone for 15 seconds once a month, they won't find that annoying if they're healthy and you are not a bad person. Being willing to go away when asked and respect consent attentively is very smart, because people don't need to go to "DEFCON 20" because they feel trapped by you and don't know what to do about their inability to get rid of you...probably, judging from JRB's horrible conduct with me, he and Obama have problems with "trapping" people who sabotage them quite subtly (probably Jay-Z, I wouldn't be surprised at all, and I'm very allowed to mention the issue), and that is related to how improperly they're dealing with me.
> > > >
> > > > If someone seems enthusiastic about spending more time with you, then that is probably a good cue that they like you, unless the person has a possible hidden alternate motive or finds you so disgusting and so disgustingly amusing that he/she wants to have fun doing a fake-out around you as some sort of mean and inappropriate satire.
> > > >
> > > > Those are just basic, non-intense-STEMmy thoughts for now.
> > > So yeah, I can't tell if celebrity people who mentioned me are unable to email me. Some of the flirty women, including the indecent exposure women, from the past probably know my name...can they email me?
> > >
> > > In case you can't tell, it is very hurtful and upsetting to have, e.g.., Jenny Slate and other very pretty female celebrities mention me on the news or in their performances, and act like they would like to date and / or befriend or speak to me, and then at the end of the day--I think I am out--they are just kidding. That is really mean and hurtful, and I know I'm going good places in life in my future with my career and improvements, but I have worked, with some great success (!!), at calming down with my anger and spiteful, intentionally insulting and provocative comments, but I don't understand why people would think that is a good idea to do that to me. In the past, I was less able to be stably in touch with reality than other people, and as of now, given another med increase (last one? I hope so....), I am now even more stable. I was stable enough to talk before, it is very disappointing and hurtful to me that people were so mean to me for no reason, and I will be OK, but I do not like this kind of treatment, and it is clear that I am a very nice and *worthwhile*, to emphasize that word person.
> > >
> > > I think at this point, sounding a little bit whiny is better than sounding/feeling too angry for me, at this point, healthwise.
> > >
> > > Here's looking at asking for better treatment, from everyone, in the future! Try to be nice and treat everyone you know, especially including me, with an appropriately high level of respect! Try being nice, even I know that's how you make friends the most effectively!
> > I'm pretty sure I'll be able to get my Python project to work effectively, from this computer, soon enough. I'll take some time off before I do it....the idea looks great and an appropriate solution to the specific problem.. I'm going to take at least one more day off though, maybe 2 days...I want to feel already relaxed and calm and ready to just work and get some things done, without feeling stressed out. As I often do, I'll probably plan out a schedule and outline for doing all of my work the night before I actually start doing it.
> A nice thought: Probably, one or two things that I *would* like to be true are actually true. E.g., probably, people have tried to email me and my messages are getting zapped by the bad guys and their malware.
>
> I think I need to get a password added again, or the wind-tunnel vector bots might figure out how to login to my computer and do things on it when I'm not around or sleeping.

On Wednesday, April 26, 2023 at 1:37:55 AM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> On Wednesday, April 26, 2023 at 1:15:27 AM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > On Wednesday, April 26, 2023 at 12:27:28 AM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > On Wednesday, April 26, 2023 at 12:24:49 AM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > On Wednesday, April 26, 2023 at 12:14:41 AM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > On Wednesday, April 26, 2023 at 12:07:27 AM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > > On Tuesday, April 25, 2023 at 11:55:15 PM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > > > On Tuesday, April 25, 2023 at 11:37:05 PM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > > > > On Tuesday, April 25, 2023 at 11:01:56 PM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > > > > > On Tuesday, April 25, 2023 at 11:01:04 PM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > > > > > > On Tuesday, April 25, 2023 at 11:00:25 PM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > > > > > > > https://www.cnn.com/2023/01/24/us/how-many-mass-shootings-2023-dg-xpn/index.html
> > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > You have already killed 219 people this year. How many more will you kill?
> > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > I suspect the malware is going to stop my Python from working.
> > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > Maybe I will start to write more psychologically potent posts, maybe I'll write fiction, see if that will change things and help me get out of here.
> > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > I'm taking tomorrow off for sure though.
> > > > > > > > > > Do you want *anything* rational at all, or just human suffering Christmas tree ornaments?
> > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > You idiots are sick.
> > > > > > > > > At this point, one really good question is: If someone foreign *really wanted* to set off a nuclear bomb somewhere in the USA, what force, exactly would stop them?
> > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > I don't think there is one any more.
> > > > > > > > OK I'm gonna be calm now and relax and enjoy myself.
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7IzD4gI1Cs4
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > So, yeah, I found out about Jenny Slate from the Westfield skit, great idea, you can call me Manson. Maybe famous people cannot email me due to email issues...so I don't have to be angry.
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > So yeah, I think she is lying about smoking pot. Maybe A Shawkat was lying too, I don't know. I've gotta do this one a time here.
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > Here's the thing: I have investigated and researched "being in your 30's," by being my 30's. As it turns out, there is a special thing called "The Chips Limit," which I actually discovered just today and which is not the same thing as The Tipping Point, and ...yeah I am really handsome, not literally a dentist, I'll date you, sure...so the thing is that you definitely *cannot* eat 20 chips (Harvest Cheddar) in ...is that improv?....it...could be...and yeah I am handsome enough, I'm getting there, getting thinner...so yeah you cannot actually eat 20 Harvest Cheddar Sun Chips in your 30's and feel good about it, I checked. I think the right "chips limit" is somewhere between 10 and 15 chips.
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > I don't get the "anyone take me home and put me in a box in a basement" part...am I being honored for being a good critical thinker, reader, and listener? TRL? TLDR, dazzled? Yeah I'm dazzling. Thanks for noticing.
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > I think Jenny Slate is my type except for the making up elaborate lies thing.
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > I am good at art, I can be!
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > I have watched Venom. I'm very cultured and political too, I didn't listen to the Eminem thing at the end because I'm so liberal and tolerant.
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > I don't know anything about the "Tootsie Roll" limit.
> > > > > > > I just decided to change my mind at look at Jennifer Shahade's Twitter again.
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > https://twitter.com/jenshahade
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > I like that she accepted my request to apparently not mention me. Thanks. At this point, I don't mind if JS wants to mention me again if she is reading this...I don't mind if I am not mentioned at all again. I like that I asked for a reasonable request and was complied with.
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > Is it actually over in April? Maybe it is not. I am not complaining about Ms. Shahde. Also, btw, when I was 9 years old, I got written up in the Maryland chess club (or Maryland chess something) news letter...I was rated like 1000 or 1100, and at a tournament, I beat a man who was maybe in his 40's who was rated like 1600, and the Maryland newsletter wrote about my game. That was neat...I wasn't seen as an up and coming star then though.
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > Also, my math-driven chess theories have come along. I might still get back into playing chess someday.
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > Additionally, regarding this comment:
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > "The part that surprised me the most is how much he enjoyed the drama and excitement of it all. It even made losing tolerable."
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > I can't tell if she is expressing some sort of anger about the deaths of the two women...I can't gauge whatever hints or implications are within this, or if she is angry, that is not even close to being anything like a strength of mine yet, I haven't socialized in over a decade...I can only confidently take the comment at close to face value. I don't think I *enjoyed* the drama much...I was stimulated by it very mildly, it was not very dramatic to me. I enjoy certain kinds of drama. The attention I paid is intended as, "I do not want to get in trouble for not saying something and explaining myself clearly, since I just 'bombed Israel' in a way that I claim was legal, moral, and self-defense, and also killed two innocent people.." I don't think I *enjoyed* the drama...I debate well, I can go on and on about issues, *finish up making the point and finish strong*--the phrase "finish strong" came from the 3 miles runs at UMW Rugby and I never saw Steven van der Briel there and I am not him. It is like, if you are typing something, and you have a homework assignment, you'd better do it right...that is why I may sound involved or eagerly pursuing something, which is closer to an "A" as in "not an F in some people's eyes who do not see things as I do and do not speak to me." If I enjoyed the drama of explaining why I did something that likely caused two people to die, I enjoyed it about as much as an internet debate with someone I don't agree with. I err on the side of verbosity. I want people to feel that they do understand how I am thinking and feeling clearly and that I am being genuine, so that my own fear, of being fooled by overly subtle/tricky fake people, isn't something I put others through. I have used lots of science/math ideas in my writing at least in the past. I don't want people to feel uncomfortable with that. To me, it would be *refreshing* to have someone take my concerns into account that attentively...maybe others roll their eyes, and I don't know how deep the eye-rolling at everything I value in other people's behavior and conduct goes, since I don't really know any people in terms of conversing with them any more. I know a King Charles Cavalier Spaniel and I talk a little bit to a nurse practitioner once a month, other than that, I would appear to be banned from socializing by bad guys.
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > Is it over in April??? I really do hope so. I'm sure I'll be digging around somewhere nearby, still desperately trying to find out when this nonsense ends! Reading hints and "cracking fakeness/subtlety codes", including normal/appropriate ones, is not my strength...I can't tell which of my own preferences and models for other people's behavior are seen or lame or are inaccurate models of how other people tend to think, interact, and prefer to be treated these days...e.g., I hadn't thought about consent until 2014, and now it is a key part of how I interact with others, and yet as an "interaction shirt" so to speak, I have never worn it in a real conversation with another person who was not simply in character as that woman at Kroger that I fell in love with and then extremely quickly fell out of love with after 10 days was--it was a very sophisticated, very hurtful fake, and my psych doctor wasn't helping.
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > Anyway, I am feeling pretty OK. It was kind of not fun to write that post again, but the music I am listening to is OK.
> > > > > > Also, for those wondering about me psychologically, I have a very good plan to improve my ability to be perceptive about other people and their feelings, especially including sincerity and being genuine, using some basic psychology ideas I thought of. Most of my STEM ideas, which are for publication and for other people, are "industrial strength STEM ideas" that are based largely on mathematical formalisms. Sometimes, I find it worthwhile, as in this case, to focus on less formal ideas that will help me as a sort of "not even biological but real-world guide" to things.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Also, now that I'm worried about my email...as I sort of expected, I never got a reply from Professor Sipser regarding my malware-and-research-related email. I wonder if he did email me back but the message was shot down? The time before last, I didn't receive his message also...that was years ago, it was just another one of my P vs. NP questions. Professor has only ever not responded to emails me that I have sent those two times; in the past, I was quite impressed with him and liked him a lot not that I knew him well, and he once sent me an unpublished paper he had written about P vs. NP when I was an undergraduate student. I believe I started emailing him in either 2007 or 2008...I remember when I was hit by a car on Nov 20, 2007, crossing the street going from the UMW apartments (like dorm rooms off the main campus for the students) to the main campus of UMW--I was going either to the math/CS academic building, Trinkle, or to the library (I think it was that one), to some light studying related task--that the last thing I remembered before I blacked out and forgot everything else, rather amusingly, was that I had just realized that my extremely simple approach to P = NP didn't work, because I hadn't realized at the time that my mistake was believing that NP = coNP in some argument I was considering. Clearly, I have made *extremely tremendous* progress since then!
> > > > > >
> > > > > > I think Michael Sipser is probably not evil...it is very difficult to sort through my "paranoia processing"--I think that thought disorders are more about processing issues, rather than "pure extremeness issues," i.e., I'm not "too paranoid," I have "paranoia-related processing issues," where I'll get some "danger-related theory" and either be way too naive and "un-aroused" in the right way, or I'll be quite aroused enough but feeling insanely stressed out and unsure of what's true, or extremely aroused about the wrong thing to focus on.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > So anyway, I'll end this post now I guess. I don't have much else to say. I am going to get better at hints and assessing others' moods when I'm back to normal...probably, I'll do great with socializing anyway, but *the feeling of continual improvement* at socializing would make me feel better about my previous *very serious perceptiveness errors* that were truly for real and scary/upsetting...next time, I'll be less likely to be wrong...and maybe it will help me impress women I date more too in the future, better to err on the side of trying to being too skilled at understanding others.
> > > > > The top lesson of the day is, which I drew my own attention to recently is:
> > > > >
> > > > > Sometimes, if you treat others as you want to be treated, and try to be attentive to everything they want, and try to grow up and listen to past criticisms about you having been annoying or unpleasant, and you really try to consider how to treat someone else right and fairly and properly, if you go all out to please the person, the person might *still* find you *extremely irritating*, and the person might not admit it. Maybe "repulsive" in a way is better than "irritating"; most healthy people don't get all that irritated in normal social situations where the other person isn't trying...it is just that some people have very sensitive preferences in socializing--I really am not too sensitive like that, I like most people who aren't mean or "hiding an evil backstabber personality" behind a smile, I can't stand dealing with such malicious people these days--and unless you use your mind and ideas--maybe you should develop a "psych theory/tool" to help you understand others better, that can be helpful--to try to get a better sense of others' wants and preferences including when interacting, including ones they're not even aware of, and ones they wouldn't advertise, maybe for fear of being rude or causing a hassle to someone else.
> > > > >
> > > > > In general, you should assume that if you talk to someone for 15 seconds once a month, they won't find that annoying if they're healthy and you are not a bad person. Being willing to go away when asked and respect consent attentively is very smart, because people don't need to go to "DEFCON 20" because they feel trapped by you and don't know what to do about their inability to get rid of you...probably, judging from JRB's horrible conduct with me, he and Obama have problems with "trapping" people who sabotage them quite subtly (probably Jay-Z, I wouldn't be surprised at all, and I'm very allowed to mention the issue), and that is related to how improperly they're dealing with me.
> > > > >
> > > > > If someone seems enthusiastic about spending more time with you, then that is probably a good cue that they like you, unless the person has a possible hidden alternate motive or finds you so disgusting and so disgustingly amusing that he/she wants to have fun doing a fake-out around you as some sort of mean and inappropriate satire.
> > > > >
> > > > > Those are just basic, non-intense-STEMmy thoughts for now.
> > > > So yeah, I can't tell if celebrity people who mentioned me are unable to email me. Some of the flirty women, including the indecent exposure women, from the past probably know my name...can they email me?
> > > >
> > > > In case you can't tell, it is very hurtful and upsetting to have, e..g., Jenny Slate and other very pretty female celebrities mention me on the news or in their performances, and act like they would like to date and / or befriend or speak to me, and then at the end of the day--I think I am out--they are just kidding. That is really mean and hurtful, and I know I'm going good places in life in my future with my career and improvements, but I have worked, with some great success (!!), at calming down with my anger and spiteful, intentionally insulting and provocative comments, but I don't understand why people would think that is a good idea to do that to me. In the past, I was less able to be stably in touch with reality than other people, and as of now, given another med increase (last one? I hope so....), I am now even more stable. I was stable enough to talk before, it is very disappointing and hurtful to me that people were so mean to me for no reason, and I will be OK, but I do not like this kind of treatment, and it is clear that I am a very nice and *worthwhile*, to emphasize that word person.
> > > >
> > > > I think at this point, sounding a little bit whiny is better than sounding/feeling too angry for me, at this point, healthwise.
> > > >
> > > > Here's looking at asking for better treatment, from everyone, in the future! Try to be nice and treat everyone you know, especially including me, with an appropriately high level of respect! Try being nice, even I know that's how you make friends the most effectively!
> > > I'm pretty sure I'll be able to get my Python project to work effectively, from this computer, soon enough. I'll take some time off before I do it...the idea looks great and an appropriate solution to the specific problem. I'm going to take at least one more day off though, maybe 2 days...I want to feel already relaxed and calm and ready to just work and get some things done, without feeling stressed out. As I often do, I'll probably plan out a schedule and outline for doing all of my work the night before I actually start doing it.
> > A nice thought: Probably, one or two things that I *would* like to be true are actually true. E.g., probably, people have tried to email me and my messages are getting zapped by the bad guys and their malware.
> >
> > I think I need to get a password added again, or the wind-tunnel vector bots might figure out how to login to my computer and do things on it when I'm not around or sleeping.
> Someone at Walmart hinted at something that might be true: DELETE EJ.
>
> Maybe that means: Delete Python IDLE, and also delete Notepad++.
>
> What could have happened is, when I opened a .txt file with Notepad++, Notepad++ wrote out to the file and changed it because it had access to it, and then it displayed the file as it was supposed to look. Then, Notepad++ wound up having some code in it that led to the alternate hidden version of the file to basically be doing a "SQL injection attack" to Notepad++, where it exploits some sort of vulnerability in Windows that makes changes to how MS Edge works. I might need to reinstall some of my programs, and even redownload them. The files should be fine if I only use:
>
> Notepad
> MS Edge
> and Python without IDLE
>
> Possibly, Notepad++ didn't do it on purpose, but their website got infected with malware. No, I don't know if the malware tries to use my computer to launch attacks, and no, VA State police and FBI didn't write back.
>
> I think my email is stopped by government crooks, not malware.

On Wednesday, April 26, 2023 at 2:30:18 AM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> On Wednesday, April 26, 2023 at 1:37:55 AM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > On Wednesday, April 26, 2023 at 1:15:27 AM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > On Wednesday, April 26, 2023 at 12:27:28 AM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > On Wednesday, April 26, 2023 at 12:24:49 AM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > On Wednesday, April 26, 2023 at 12:14:41 AM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > > On Wednesday, April 26, 2023 at 12:07:27 AM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > > > On Tuesday, April 25, 2023 at 11:55:15 PM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > > > > On Tuesday, April 25, 2023 at 11:37:05 PM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > > > > > On Tuesday, April 25, 2023 at 11:01:56 PM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > > > > > > On Tuesday, April 25, 2023 at 11:01:04 PM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > > > > > > > On Tuesday, April 25, 2023 at 11:00:25 PM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > > > > > > > > https://www.cnn.com/2023/01/24/us/how-many-mass-shootings-2023-dg-xpn/index.html
> > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > You have already killed 219 people this year. How many more will you kill?
> > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > I suspect the malware is going to stop my Python from working.
> > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > Maybe I will start to write more psychologically potent posts, maybe I'll write fiction, see if that will change things and help me get out of here.
> > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > I'm taking tomorrow off for sure though.
> > > > > > > > > > > Do you want *anything* rational at all, or just human suffering Christmas tree ornaments?
> > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > You idiots are sick.
> > > > > > > > > > At this point, one really good question is: If someone foreign *really wanted* to set off a nuclear bomb somewhere in the USA, what force, exactly would stop them?
> > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > I don't think there is one any more.
> > > > > > > > > OK I'm gonna be calm now and relax and enjoy myself.
> > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7IzD4gI1Cs4
> > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > So, yeah, I found out about Jenny Slate from the Westfield skit, great idea, you can call me Manson. Maybe famous people cannot email me due to email issues...so I don't have to be angry.
> > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > So yeah, I think she is lying about smoking pot. Maybe A Shawkat was lying too, I don't know. I've gotta do this one a time here.
> > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > Here's the thing: I have investigated and researched "being in your 30's," by being my 30's. As it turns out, there is a special thing called "The Chips Limit," which I actually discovered just today and which is not the same thing as The Tipping Point, and ...yeah I am really handsome, not literally a dentist, I'll date you, sure...so the thing is that you definitely *cannot* eat 20 chips (Harvest Cheddar) in ...is that improv?....it...could be...and yeah I am handsome enough, I'm getting there, getting thinner...so yeah you cannot actually eat 20 Harvest Cheddar Sun Chips in your 30's and feel good about it, I checked. I think the right "chips limit" is somewhere between 10 and 15 chips.
> > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > I don't get the "anyone take me home and put me in a box in a basement" part...am I being honored for being a good critical thinker, reader, and listener? TRL? TLDR, dazzled? Yeah I'm dazzling. Thanks for noticing.
> > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > I think Jenny Slate is my type except for the making up elaborate lies thing.
> > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > I am good at art, I can be!
> > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > I have watched Venom. I'm very cultured and political too, I didn't listen to the Eminem thing at the end because I'm so liberal and tolerant.
> > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > I don't know anything about the "Tootsie Roll" limit.
> > > > > > > > I just decided to change my mind at look at Jennifer Shahade's Twitter again.
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > https://twitter.com/jenshahade
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > I like that she accepted my request to apparently not mention me. Thanks. At this point, I don't mind if JS wants to mention me again if she is reading this...I don't mind if I am not mentioned at all again. I like that I asked for a reasonable request and was complied with.
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > Is it actually over in April? Maybe it is not. I am not complaining about Ms. Shahde. Also, btw, when I was 9 years old, I got written up in the Maryland chess club (or Maryland chess something) news letter...I was rated like 1000 or 1100, and at a tournament, I beat a man who was maybe in his 40's who was rated like 1600, and the Maryland newsletter wrote about my game. That was neat...I wasn't seen as an up and coming star then though.
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > Also, my math-driven chess theories have come along. I might still get back into playing chess someday.
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > Additionally, regarding this comment:
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > "The part that surprised me the most is how much he enjoyed the drama and excitement of it all. It even made losing tolerable."
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > I can't tell if she is expressing some sort of anger about the deaths of the two women...I can't gauge whatever hints or implications are within this, or if she is angry, that is not even close to being anything like a strength of mine yet, I haven't socialized in over a decade...I can only confidently take the comment at close to face value. I don't think I *enjoyed* the drama much...I was stimulated by it very mildly, it was not very dramatic to me. I enjoy certain kinds of drama. The attention I paid is intended as, "I do not want to get in trouble for not saying something and explaining myself clearly, since I just 'bombed Israel' in a way that I claim was legal, moral, and self-defense, and also killed two innocent people." I don't think I *enjoyed* the drama...I debate well, I can go on and on about issues, *finish up making the point and finish strong*--the phrase "finish strong" came from the 3 miles runs at UMW Rugby and I never saw Steven van der Briel there and I am not him. It is like, if you are typing something, and you have a homework assignment, you'd better do it right...that is why I may sound involved or eagerly pursuing something, which is closer to an "A" as in "not an F in some people's eyes who do not see things as I do and do not speak to me." If I enjoyed the drama of explaining why I did something that likely caused two people to die, I enjoyed it about as much as an internet debate with someone I don't agree with. I err on the side of verbosity. I want people to feel that they do understand how I am thinking and feeling clearly and that I am being genuine, so that my own fear, of being fooled by overly subtle/tricky fake people, isn't something I put others through. I have used lots of science/math ideas in my writing at least in the past. I don't want people to feel uncomfortable with that. To me, it would be *refreshing* to have someone take my concerns into account that attentively...maybe others roll their eyes, and I don't know how deep the eye-rolling at everything I value in other people's behavior and conduct goes, since I don't really know any people in terms of conversing with them any more. I know a King Charles Cavalier Spaniel and I talk a little bit to a nurse practitioner once a month, other than that, I would appear to be banned from socializing by bad guys.
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > Is it over in April??? I really do hope so. I'm sure I'll be digging around somewhere nearby, still desperately trying to find out when this nonsense ends! Reading hints and "cracking fakeness/subtlety codes", including normal/appropriate ones, is not my strength...I can't tell which of my own preferences and models for other people's behavior are seen or lame or are inaccurate models of how other people tend to think, interact, and prefer to be treated these days...e.g., I hadn't thought about consent until 2014, and now it is a key part of how I interact with others, and yet as an "interaction shirt" so to speak, I have never worn it in a real conversation with another person who was not simply in character as that woman at Kroger that I fell in love with and then extremely quickly fell out of love with after 10 days was--it was a very sophisticated, very hurtful fake, and my psych doctor wasn't helping.
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > Anyway, I am feeling pretty OK. It was kind of not fun to write that post again, but the music I am listening to is OK.
> > > > > > > Also, for those wondering about me psychologically, I have a very good plan to improve my ability to be perceptive about other people and their feelings, especially including sincerity and being genuine, using some basic psychology ideas I thought of. Most of my STEM ideas, which are for publication and for other people, are "industrial strength STEM ideas" that are based largely on mathematical formalisms. Sometimes, I find it worthwhile, as in this case, to focus on less formal ideas that will help me as a sort of "not even biological but real-world guide" to things.
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > Also, now that I'm worried about my email...as I sort of expected, I never got a reply from Professor Sipser regarding my malware-and-research-related email. I wonder if he did email me back but the message was shot down? The time before last, I didn't receive his message also...that was years ago, it was just another one of my P vs. NP questions. Professor has only ever not responded to emails me that I have sent those two times; in the past, I was quite impressed with him and liked him a lot not that I knew him well, and he once sent me an unpublished paper he had written about P vs. NP when I was an undergraduate student. I believe I started emailing him in either 2007 or 2008...I remember when I was hit by a car on Nov 20, 2007, crossing the street going from the UMW apartments (like dorm rooms off the main campus for the students) to the main campus of UMW--I was going either to the math/CS academic building, Trinkle, or to the library (I think it was that one), to some light studying related task--that the last thing I remembered before I blacked out and forgot everything else, rather amusingly, was that I had just realized that my extremely simple approach to P = NP didn't work, because I hadn't realized at the time that my mistake was believing that NP = coNP in some argument I was considering. Clearly, I have made *extremely tremendous* progress since then!
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > I think Michael Sipser is probably not evil...it is very difficult to sort through my "paranoia processing"--I think that thought disorders are more about processing issues, rather than "pure extremeness issues," i.e., I'm not "too paranoid," I have "paranoia-related processing issues," where I'll get some "danger-related theory" and either be way too naive and "un-aroused" in the right way, or I'll be quite aroused enough but feeling insanely stressed out and unsure of what's true, or extremely aroused about the wrong thing to focus on.
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > So anyway, I'll end this post now I guess. I don't have much else to say. I am going to get better at hints and assessing others' moods when I'm back to normal...probably, I'll do great with socializing anyway, but *the feeling of continual improvement* at socializing would make me feel better about my previous *very serious perceptiveness errors* that were truly for real and scary/upsetting...next time, I'll be less likely to be wrong...and maybe it will help me impress women I date more too in the future, better to err on the side of trying to being too skilled at understanding others.
> > > > > > The top lesson of the day is, which I drew my own attention to recently is:
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Sometimes, if you treat others as you want to be treated, and try to be attentive to everything they want, and try to grow up and listen to past criticisms about you having been annoying or unpleasant, and you really try to consider how to treat someone else right and fairly and properly, if you go all out to please the person, the person might *still* find you *extremely irritating*, and the person might not admit it. Maybe "repulsive" in a way is better than "irritating"; most healthy people don't get all that irritated in normal social situations where the other person isn't trying...it is just that some people have very sensitive preferences in socializing--I really am not too sensitive like that, I like most people who aren't mean or "hiding an evil backstabber personality" behind a smile, I can't stand dealing with such malicious people these days--and unless you use your mind and ideas--maybe you should develop a "psych theory/tool" to help you understand others better, that can be helpful--to try to get a better sense of others' wants and preferences including when interacting, including ones they're not even aware of, and ones they wouldn't advertise, maybe for fear of being rude or causing a hassle to someone else.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > In general, you should assume that if you talk to someone for 15 seconds once a month, they won't find that annoying if they're healthy and you are not a bad person. Being willing to go away when asked and respect consent attentively is very smart, because people don't need to go to "DEFCON 20" because they feel trapped by you and don't know what to do about their inability to get rid of you...probably, judging from JRB's horrible conduct with me, he and Obama have problems with "trapping" people who sabotage them quite subtly (probably Jay-Z, I wouldn't be surprised at all, and I'm very allowed to mention the issue), and that is related to how improperly they're dealing with me.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > If someone seems enthusiastic about spending more time with you, then that is probably a good cue that they like you, unless the person has a possible hidden alternate motive or finds you so disgusting and so disgustingly amusing that he/she wants to have fun doing a fake-out around you as some sort of mean and inappropriate satire.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Those are just basic, non-intense-STEMmy thoughts for now.
> > > > > So yeah, I can't tell if celebrity people who mentioned me are unable to email me. Some of the flirty women, including the indecent exposure women, from the past probably know my name...can they email me?
> > > > >
> > > > > In case you can't tell, it is very hurtful and upsetting to have, e.g., Jenny Slate and other very pretty female celebrities mention me on the news or in their performances, and act like they would like to date and / or befriend or speak to me, and then at the end of the day--I think I am out--they are just kidding. That is really mean and hurtful, and I know I'm going good places in life in my future with my career and improvements, but I have worked, with some great success (!!), at calming down with my anger and spiteful, intentionally insulting and provocative comments, but I don't understand why people would think that is a good idea to do that to me. In the past, I was less able to be stably in touch with reality than other people, and as of now, given another med increase (last one? I hope so....), I am now even more stable. I was stable enough to talk before, it is very disappointing and hurtful to me that people were so mean to me for no reason, and I will be OK, but I do not like this kind of treatment, and it is clear that I am a very nice and *worthwhile*, to emphasize that word person.
> > > > >
> > > > > I think at this point, sounding a little bit whiny is better than sounding/feeling too angry for me, at this point, healthwise.
> > > > >
> > > > > Here's looking at asking for better treatment, from everyone, in the future! Try to be nice and treat everyone you know, especially including me, with an appropriately high level of respect! Try being nice, even I know that's how you make friends the most effectively!
> > > > I'm pretty sure I'll be able to get my Python project to work effectively, from this computer, soon enough. I'll take some time off before I do it...the idea looks great and an appropriate solution to the specific problem. I'm going to take at least one more day off though, maybe 2 days...I want to feel already relaxed and calm and ready to just work and get some things done, without feeling stressed out. As I often do, I'll probably plan out a schedule and outline for doing all of my work the night before I actually start doing it.
> > > A nice thought: Probably, one or two things that I *would* like to be true are actually true. E.g., probably, people have tried to email me and my messages are getting zapped by the bad guys and their malware.
> > >
> > > I think I need to get a password added again, or the wind-tunnel vector bots might figure out how to login to my computer and do things on it when I'm not around or sleeping.
> > Someone at Walmart hinted at something that might be true: DELETE EJ.
> >
> > Maybe that means: Delete Python IDLE, and also delete Notepad++.
> >
> > What could have happened is, when I opened a .txt file with Notepad++, Notepad++ wrote out to the file and changed it because it had access to it, and then it displayed the file as it was supposed to look. Then, Notepad++ wound up having some code in it that led to the alternate hidden version of the file to basically be doing a "SQL injection attack" to Notepad++, where it exploits some sort of vulnerability in Windows that makes changes to how MS Edge works. I might need to reinstall some of my programs, and even redownload them. The files should be fine if I only use:
> >
> > Notepad
> > MS Edge
> > and Python without IDLE
> >
> > Possibly, Notepad++ didn't do it on purpose, but their website got infected with malware. No, I don't know if the malware tries to use my computer to launch attacks, and no, VA State police and FBI didn't write back.
> >
> > I think my email is stopped by government crooks, not malware.
> OK...I wound up reinstalling Notepad++.
>
> I spent a lot of time changing the permissions, esp. denying write permissions for all users I could, for each of the three main programs I'm using: Notepad++, Python, and MSFT Edge.
>
> I think I will wind up being fine. I think I will basically solve the problem by building my own HTML-reader browser program in Python, and it will just read HTML source from pages and sometimes submit form/other data.
>
> This whole set of hoops to jump through is just stupid. I'll be fine soon, at least that's what I think right now.

On Wednesday, April 26, 2023 at 3:01:10 AM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> On Wednesday, April 26, 2023 at 2:30:18 AM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > On Wednesday, April 26, 2023 at 1:37:55 AM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > On Wednesday, April 26, 2023 at 1:15:27 AM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > On Wednesday, April 26, 2023 at 12:27:28 AM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > On Wednesday, April 26, 2023 at 12:24:49 AM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > > On Wednesday, April 26, 2023 at 12:14:41 AM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > > > On Wednesday, April 26, 2023 at 12:07:27 AM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > > > > On Tuesday, April 25, 2023 at 11:55:15 PM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > > > > > On Tuesday, April 25, 2023 at 11:37:05 PM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > > > > > > On Tuesday, April 25, 2023 at 11:01:56 PM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > > > > > > > On Tuesday, April 25, 2023 at 11:01:04 PM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > > > > > > > > On Tuesday, April 25, 2023 at 11:00:25 PM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > > > > > > > > > https://www.cnn.com/2023/01/24/us/how-many-mass-shootings-2023-dg-xpn/index.html
> > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > You have already killed 219 people this year. How many more will you kill?
> > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > I suspect the malware is going to stop my Python from working.
> > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > Maybe I will start to write more psychologically potent posts, maybe I'll write fiction, see if that will change things and help me get out of here.
> > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > I'm taking tomorrow off for sure though.
> > > > > > > > > > > > Do you want *anything* rational at all, or just human suffering Christmas tree ornaments?
> > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > You idiots are sick.
> > > > > > > > > > > At this point, one really good question is: If someone foreign *really wanted* to set off a nuclear bomb somewhere in the USA, what force, exactly would stop them?
> > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > I don't think there is one any more.
> > > > > > > > > > OK I'm gonna be calm now and relax and enjoy myself.
> > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7IzD4gI1Cs4
> > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > So, yeah, I found out about Jenny Slate from the Westfield skit, great idea, you can call me Manson. Maybe famous people cannot email me due to email issues...so I don't have to be angry.
> > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > So yeah, I think she is lying about smoking pot. Maybe A Shawkat was lying too, I don't know. I've gotta do this one a time here.
> > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > Here's the thing: I have investigated and researched "being in your 30's," by being my 30's. As it turns out, there is a special thing called "The Chips Limit," which I actually discovered just today and which is not the same thing as The Tipping Point, and ...yeah I am really handsome, not literally a dentist, I'll date you, sure...so the thing is that you definitely *cannot* eat 20 chips (Harvest Cheddar) in ...is that improv?...it...could be...and yeah I am handsome enough, I'm getting there, getting thinner...so yeah you cannot actually eat 20 Harvest Cheddar Sun Chips in your 30's and feel good about it, I checked. I think the right "chips limit" is somewhere between 10 and 15 chips.
> > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > I don't get the "anyone take me home and put me in a box in a basement" part...am I being honored for being a good critical thinker, reader, and listener? TRL? TLDR, dazzled? Yeah I'm dazzling. Thanks for noticing.
> > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > I think Jenny Slate is my type except for the making up elaborate lies thing.
> > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > I am good at art, I can be!
> > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > I have watched Venom. I'm very cultured and political too, I didn't listen to the Eminem thing at the end because I'm so liberal and tolerant.
> > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > I don't know anything about the "Tootsie Roll" limit.
> > > > > > > > > I just decided to change my mind at look at Jennifer Shahade's Twitter again.
> > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > https://twitter.com/jenshahade
> > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > I like that she accepted my request to apparently not mention me. Thanks. At this point, I don't mind if JS wants to mention me again if she is reading this...I don't mind if I am not mentioned at all again. I like that I asked for a reasonable request and was complied with.
> > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > Is it actually over in April? Maybe it is not. I am not complaining about Ms. Shahde. Also, btw, when I was 9 years old, I got written up in the Maryland chess club (or Maryland chess something) news letter....I was rated like 1000 or 1100, and at a tournament, I beat a man who was maybe in his 40's who was rated like 1600, and the Maryland newsletter wrote about my game. That was neat...I wasn't seen as an up and coming star then though.
> > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > Also, my math-driven chess theories have come along. I might still get back into playing chess someday.
> > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > Additionally, regarding this comment:
> > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > "The part that surprised me the most is how much he enjoyed the drama and excitement of it all. It even made losing tolerable."
> > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > I can't tell if she is expressing some sort of anger about the deaths of the two women...I can't gauge whatever hints or implications are within this, or if she is angry, that is not even close to being anything like a strength of mine yet, I haven't socialized in over a decade...I can only confidently take the comment at close to face value. I don't think I *enjoyed* the drama much...I was stimulated by it very mildly, it was not very dramatic to me. I enjoy certain kinds of drama. The attention I paid is intended as, "I do not want to get in trouble for not saying something and explaining myself clearly, since I just 'bombed Israel' in a way that I claim was legal, moral, and self-defense, and also killed two innocent people." I don't think I *enjoyed* the drama...I debate well, I can go on and on about issues, *finish up making the point and finish strong*--the phrase "finish strong" came from the 3 miles runs at UMW Rugby and I never saw Steven van der Briel there and I am not him. It is like, if you are typing something, and you have a homework assignment, you'd better do it right...that is why I may sound involved or eagerly pursuing something, which is closer to an "A" as in "not an F in some people's eyes who do not see things as I do and do not speak to me." If I enjoyed the drama of explaining why I did something that likely caused two people to die, I enjoyed it about as much as an internet debate with someone I don't agree with. I err on the side of verbosity. I want people to feel that they do understand how I am thinking and feeling clearly and that I am being genuine, so that my own fear, of being fooled by overly subtle/tricky fake people, isn't something I put others through. I have used lots of science/math ideas in my writing at least in the past. I don't want people to feel uncomfortable with that. To me, it would be *refreshing* to have someone take my concerns into account that attentively...maybe others roll their eyes, and I don't know how deep the eye-rolling at everything I value in other people's behavior and conduct goes, since I don't really know any people in terms of conversing with them any more. I know a King Charles Cavalier Spaniel and I talk a little bit to a nurse practitioner once a month, other than that, I would appear to be banned from socializing by bad guys.
> > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > Is it over in April??? I really do hope so. I'm sure I'll be digging around somewhere nearby, still desperately trying to find out when this nonsense ends! Reading hints and "cracking fakeness/subtlety codes", including normal/appropriate ones, is not my strength...I can't tell which of my own preferences and models for other people's behavior are seen or lame or are inaccurate models of how other people tend to think, interact, and prefer to be treated these days...e.g., I hadn't thought about consent until 2014, and now it is a key part of how I interact with others, and yet as an "interaction shirt" so to speak, I have never worn it in a real conversation with another person who was not simply in character as that woman at Kroger that I fell in love with and then extremely quickly fell out of love with after 10 days was--it was a very sophisticated, very hurtful fake, and my psych doctor wasn't helping.
> > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > Anyway, I am feeling pretty OK. It was kind of not fun to write that post again, but the music I am listening to is OK.
> > > > > > > > Also, for those wondering about me psychologically, I have a very good plan to improve my ability to be perceptive about other people and their feelings, especially including sincerity and being genuine, using some basic psychology ideas I thought of. Most of my STEM ideas, which are for publication and for other people, are "industrial strength STEM ideas" that are based largely on mathematical formalisms. Sometimes, I find it worthwhile, as in this case, to focus on less formal ideas that will help me as a sort of "not even biological but real-world guide" to things.
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > Also, now that I'm worried about my email...as I sort of expected, I never got a reply from Professor Sipser regarding my malware-and-research-related email. I wonder if he did email me back but the message was shot down? The time before last, I didn't receive his message also...that was years ago, it was just another one of my P vs. NP questions. Professor has only ever not responded to emails me that I have sent those two times; in the past, I was quite impressed with him and liked him a lot not that I knew him well, and he once sent me an unpublished paper he had written about P vs. NP when I was an undergraduate student. I believe I started emailing him in either 2007 or 2008...I remember when I was hit by a car on Nov 20, 2007, crossing the street going from the UMW apartments (like dorm rooms off the main campus for the students) to the main campus of UMW--I was going either to the math/CS academic building, Trinkle, or to the library (I think it was that one), to some light studying related task--that the last thing I remembered before I blacked out and forgot everything else, rather amusingly, was that I had just realized that my extremely simple approach to P = NP didn't work, because I hadn't realized at the time that my mistake was believing that NP = coNP in some argument I was considering. Clearly, I have made *extremely tremendous* progress since then!
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > I think Michael Sipser is probably not evil...it is very difficult to sort through my "paranoia processing"--I think that thought disorders are more about processing issues, rather than "pure extremeness issues," i.e., I'm not "too paranoid," I have "paranoia-related processing issues," where I'll get some "danger-related theory" and either be way too naive and "un-aroused" in the right way, or I'll be quite aroused enough but feeling insanely stressed out and unsure of what's true, or extremely aroused about the wrong thing to focus on.
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > So anyway, I'll end this post now I guess. I don't have much else to say. I am going to get better at hints and assessing others' moods when I'm back to normal...probably, I'll do great with socializing anyway, but *the feeling of continual improvement* at socializing would make me feel better about my previous *very serious perceptiveness errors* that were truly for real and scary/upsetting...next time, I'll be less likely to be wrong...and maybe it will help me impress women I date more too in the future, better to err on the side of trying to being too skilled at understanding others.
> > > > > > > The top lesson of the day is, which I drew my own attention to recently is:
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > Sometimes, if you treat others as you want to be treated, and try to be attentive to everything they want, and try to grow up and listen to past criticisms about you having been annoying or unpleasant, and you really try to consider how to treat someone else right and fairly and properly, if you go all out to please the person, the person might *still* find you *extremely irritating*, and the person might not admit it. Maybe "repulsive" in a way is better than "irritating"; most healthy people don't get all that irritated in normal social situations where the other person isn't trying...it is just that some people have very sensitive preferences in socializing--I really am not too sensitive like that, I like most people who aren't mean or "hiding an evil backstabber personality" behind a smile, I can't stand dealing with such malicious people these days--and unless you use your mind and ideas--maybe you should develop a "psych theory/tool" to help you understand others better, that can be helpful--to try to get a better sense of others' wants and preferences including when interacting, including ones they're not even aware of, and ones they wouldn't advertise, maybe for fear of being rude or causing a hassle to someone else.
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > In general, you should assume that if you talk to someone for 15 seconds once a month, they won't find that annoying if they're healthy and you are not a bad person. Being willing to go away when asked and respect consent attentively is very smart, because people don't need to go to "DEFCON 20" because they feel trapped by you and don't know what to do about their inability to get rid of you...probably, judging from JRB's horrible conduct with me, he and Obama have problems with "trapping" people who sabotage them quite subtly (probably Jay-Z, I wouldn't be surprised at all, and I'm very allowed to mention the issue), and that is related to how improperly they're dealing with me.
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > If someone seems enthusiastic about spending more time with you, then that is probably a good cue that they like you, unless the person has a possible hidden alternate motive or finds you so disgusting and so disgustingly amusing that he/she wants to have fun doing a fake-out around you as some sort of mean and inappropriate satire.
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > Those are just basic, non-intense-STEMmy thoughts for now.
> > > > > > So yeah, I can't tell if celebrity people who mentioned me are unable to email me. Some of the flirty women, including the indecent exposure women, from the past probably know my name...can they email me?
> > > > > >
> > > > > > In case you can't tell, it is very hurtful and upsetting to have, e.g., Jenny Slate and other very pretty female celebrities mention me on the news or in their performances, and act like they would like to date and / or befriend or speak to me, and then at the end of the day--I think I am out--they are just kidding. That is really mean and hurtful, and I know I'm going good places in life in my future with my career and improvements, but I have worked, with some great success (!!), at calming down with my anger and spiteful, intentionally insulting and provocative comments, but I don't understand why people would think that is a good idea to do that to me.. In the past, I was less able to be stably in touch with reality than other people, and as of now, given another med increase (last one? I hope so.....), I am now even more stable. I was stable enough to talk before, it is very disappointing and hurtful to me that people were so mean to me for no reason, and I will be OK, but I do not like this kind of treatment, and it is clear that I am a very nice and *worthwhile*, to emphasize that word person.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > I think at this point, sounding a little bit whiny is better than sounding/feeling too angry for me, at this point, healthwise.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Here's looking at asking for better treatment, from everyone, in the future! Try to be nice and treat everyone you know, especially including me, with an appropriately high level of respect! Try being nice, even I know that's how you make friends the most effectively!
> > > > > I'm pretty sure I'll be able to get my Python project to work effectively, from this computer, soon enough. I'll take some time off before I do it...the idea looks great and an appropriate solution to the specific problem. I'm going to take at least one more day off though, maybe 2 days...I want to feel already relaxed and calm and ready to just work and get some things done, without feeling stressed out. As I often do, I'll probably plan out a schedule and outline for doing all of my work the night before I actually start doing it.
> > > > A nice thought: Probably, one or two things that I *would* like to be true are actually true. E.g., probably, people have tried to email me and my messages are getting zapped by the bad guys and their malware.
> > > >
> > > > I think I need to get a password added again, or the wind-tunnel vector bots might figure out how to login to my computer and do things on it when I'm not around or sleeping.
> > > Someone at Walmart hinted at something that might be true: DELETE EJ.
> > >
> > > Maybe that means: Delete Python IDLE, and also delete Notepad++.
> > >
> > > What could have happened is, when I opened a .txt file with Notepad++, Notepad++ wrote out to the file and changed it because it had access to it, and then it displayed the file as it was supposed to look. Then, Notepad++ wound up having some code in it that led to the alternate hidden version of the file to basically be doing a "SQL injection attack" to Notepad++, where it exploits some sort of vulnerability in Windows that makes changes to how MS Edge works. I might need to reinstall some of my programs, and even redownload them. The files should be fine if I only use:
> > >
> > > Notepad
> > > MS Edge
> > > and Python without IDLE
> > >
> > > Possibly, Notepad++ didn't do it on purpose, but their website got infected with malware. No, I don't know if the malware tries to use my computer to launch attacks, and no, VA State police and FBI didn't write back.
> > >
> > > I think my email is stopped by government crooks, not malware.
> > OK...I wound up reinstalling Notepad++.
> >
> > I spent a lot of time changing the permissions, esp. denying write permissions for all users I could, for each of the three main programs I'm using: Notepad++, Python, and MSFT Edge.
> >
> > I think I will wind up being fine. I think I will basically solve the problem by building my own HTML-reader browser program in Python, and it will just read HTML source from pages and sometimes submit form/other data.
> >
> > This whole set of hoops to jump through is just stupid. I'll be fine soon, at least that's what I think right now.
> So, it looks like the typos are here to stay. I just spent time changing all the permissions of the programs I want to run on Windows. This'll have to do for now.
>
> I know how to get around source code detection efforts by the bad guys--I guess I hadn't planned to share that but it's late at night, and it's not a big deal, so why not?--and I'll be sure to mind what sorts of inputs Python programs actually take.
>
> It's sure to be a pain...I saw the MS Windows window change as though affected by malware, so yes, it's in the operating system and/or hardware, for sure.
>
> I think the typos will stay in, and I'll have to figure out how reliable Python will be.
>
> The bad guys have been making more coyote sounds and plane noises outside to wake me up, but I haven't gone to sleep yet. They just made a bug-like insect nose near my microwave. It doesn't matter, but they are crazy and so incredibly evil and right-wing. They think they look good--they are so clueless socially, they know how to be fake, but they have *no idea* most people interact with each other when being normal. They are even behind me, and I just figured some new things out based on psych treatment and I have been isolated for over 10 years.
>
> I think my email is "strangled" too.
>
> Thoughts on these sorts of nutty tactics, Jake Stenzler and Mark Krempley? Surely you didn't approve of doing this to me and quietly support it all along while working alongside me as a "co-worker" at ABSG? I wonder whom you work with now.

On Wednesday, April 26, 2023 at 3:13:58 AM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> On Wednesday, April 26, 2023 at 3:01:10 AM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > On Wednesday, April 26, 2023 at 2:30:18 AM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > On Wednesday, April 26, 2023 at 1:37:55 AM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > On Wednesday, April 26, 2023 at 1:15:27 AM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > On Wednesday, April 26, 2023 at 12:27:28 AM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > > On Wednesday, April 26, 2023 at 12:24:49 AM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > > > On Wednesday, April 26, 2023 at 12:14:41 AM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > > > > On Wednesday, April 26, 2023 at 12:07:27 AM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > > > > > On Tuesday, April 25, 2023 at 11:55:15 PM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > > > > > > On Tuesday, April 25, 2023 at 11:37:05 PM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > > > > > > > On Tuesday, April 25, 2023 at 11:01:56 PM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > > > > > > > > On Tuesday, April 25, 2023 at 11:01:04 PM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > > > > > > > > > On Tuesday, April 25, 2023 at 11:00:25 PM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > https://www.cnn.com/2023/01/24/us/how-many-mass-shootings-2023-dg-xpn/index.html
> > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > You have already killed 219 people this year. How many more will you kill?
> > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > I suspect the malware is going to stop my Python from working.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > Maybe I will start to write more psychologically potent posts, maybe I'll write fiction, see if that will change things and help me get out of here.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > I'm taking tomorrow off for sure though.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > Do you want *anything* rational at all, or just human suffering Christmas tree ornaments?
> > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > You idiots are sick.
> > > > > > > > > > > > At this point, one really good question is: If someone foreign *really wanted* to set off a nuclear bomb somewhere in the USA, what force, exactly would stop them?
> > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > I don't think there is one any more.
> > > > > > > > > > > OK I'm gonna be calm now and relax and enjoy myself.
> > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7IzD4gI1Cs4
> > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > So, yeah, I found out about Jenny Slate from the Westfield skit, great idea, you can call me Manson. Maybe famous people cannot email me due to email issues...so I don't have to be angry.
> > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > So yeah, I think she is lying about smoking pot. Maybe A Shawkat was lying too, I don't know. I've gotta do this one a time here..
> > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > Here's the thing: I have investigated and researched "being in your 30's," by being my 30's. As it turns out, there is a special thing called "The Chips Limit," which I actually discovered just today and which is not the same thing as The Tipping Point, and ...yeah I am really handsome, not literally a dentist, I'll date you, sure...so the thing is that you definitely *cannot* eat 20 chips (Harvest Cheddar) in ...is that improv?...it...could be...and yeah I am handsome enough, I'm getting there, getting thinner...so yeah you cannot actually eat 20 Harvest Cheddar Sun Chips in your 30's and feel good about it, I checked. I think the right "chips limit" is somewhere between 10 and 15 chips.
> > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > I don't get the "anyone take me home and put me in a box in a basement" part...am I being honored for being a good critical thinker, reader, and listener? TRL? TLDR, dazzled? Yeah I'm dazzling. Thanks for noticing.
> > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > I think Jenny Slate is my type except for the making up elaborate lies thing.
> > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > I am good at art, I can be!
> > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > I have watched Venom. I'm very cultured and political too, I didn't listen to the Eminem thing at the end because I'm so liberal and tolerant.
> > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > I don't know anything about the "Tootsie Roll" limit.
> > > > > > > > > > I just decided to change my mind at look at Jennifer Shahade's Twitter again.
> > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > https://twitter.com/jenshahade
> > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > I like that she accepted my request to apparently not mention me. Thanks. At this point, I don't mind if JS wants to mention me again if she is reading this...I don't mind if I am not mentioned at all again. I like that I asked for a reasonable request and was complied with.
> > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > Is it actually over in April? Maybe it is not. I am not complaining about Ms. Shahde. Also, btw, when I was 9 years old, I got written up in the Maryland chess club (or Maryland chess something) news letter...I was rated like 1000 or 1100, and at a tournament, I beat a man who was maybe in his 40's who was rated like 1600, and the Maryland newsletter wrote about my game. That was neat...I wasn't seen as an up and coming star then though.
> > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > Also, my math-driven chess theories have come along. I might still get back into playing chess someday.
> > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > Additionally, regarding this comment:
> > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > "The part that surprised me the most is how much he enjoyed the drama and excitement of it all. It even made losing tolerable."
> > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > I can't tell if she is expressing some sort of anger about the deaths of the two women...I can't gauge whatever hints or implications are within this, or if she is angry, that is not even close to being anything like a strength of mine yet, I haven't socialized in over a decade....I can only confidently take the comment at close to face value. I don't think I *enjoyed* the drama much...I was stimulated by it very mildly, it was not very dramatic to me. I enjoy certain kinds of drama. The attention I paid is intended as, "I do not want to get in trouble for not saying something and explaining myself clearly, since I just 'bombed Israel' in a way that I claim was legal, moral, and self-defense, and also killed two innocent people." I don't think I *enjoyed* the drama...I debate well, I can go on and on about issues, *finish up making the point and finish strong*--the phrase "finish strong" came from the 3 miles runs at UMW Rugby and I never saw Steven van der Briel there and I am not him. It is like, if you are typing something, and you have a homework assignment, you'd better do it right...that is why I may sound involved or eagerly pursuing something, which is closer to an "A" as in "not an F in some people's eyes who do not see things as I do and do not speak to me." If I enjoyed the drama of explaining why I did something that likely caused two people to die, I enjoyed it about as much as an internet debate with someone I don't agree with. I err on the side of verbosity. I want people to feel that they do understand how I am thinking and feeling clearly and that I am being genuine, so that my own fear, of being fooled by overly subtle/tricky fake people, isn't something I put others through. I have used lots of science/math ideas in my writing at least in the past. I don't want people to feel uncomfortable with that. To me, it would be *refreshing* to have someone take my concerns into account that attentively...maybe others roll their eyes, and I don't know how deep the eye-rolling at everything I value in other people's behavior and conduct goes, since I don't really know any people in terms of conversing with them any more. I know a King Charles Cavalier Spaniel and I talk a little bit to a nurse practitioner once a month, other than that, I would appear to be banned from socializing by bad guys.
> > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > Is it over in April??? I really do hope so. I'm sure I'll be digging around somewhere nearby, still desperately trying to find out when this nonsense ends! Reading hints and "cracking fakeness/subtlety codes", including normal/appropriate ones, is not my strength...I can't tell which of my own preferences and models for other people's behavior are seen or lame or are inaccurate models of how other people tend to think, interact, and prefer to be treated these days...e.g., I hadn't thought about consent until 2014, and now it is a key part of how I interact with others, and yet as an "interaction shirt" so to speak, I have never worn it in a real conversation with another person who was not simply in character as that woman at Kroger that I fell in love with and then extremely quickly fell out of love with after 10 days was--it was a very sophisticated, very hurtful fake, and my psych doctor wasn't helping.
> > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > Anyway, I am feeling pretty OK. It was kind of not fun to write that post again, but the music I am listening to is OK.
> > > > > > > > > Also, for those wondering about me psychologically, I have a very good plan to improve my ability to be perceptive about other people and their feelings, especially including sincerity and being genuine, using some basic psychology ideas I thought of. Most of my STEM ideas, which are for publication and for other people, are "industrial strength STEM ideas" that are based largely on mathematical formalisms. Sometimes, I find it worthwhile, as in this case, to focus on less formal ideas that will help me as a sort of "not even biological but real-world guide" to things.
> > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > Also, now that I'm worried about my email...as I sort of expected, I never got a reply from Professor Sipser regarding my malware-and-research-related email. I wonder if he did email me back but the message was shot down? The time before last, I didn't receive his message also...that was years ago, it was just another one of my P vs. NP questions. Professor has only ever not responded to emails me that I have sent those two times; in the past, I was quite impressed with him and liked him a lot not that I knew him well, and he once sent me an unpublished paper he had written about P vs. NP when I was an undergraduate student. I believe I started emailing him in either 2007 or 2008...I remember when I was hit by a car on Nov 20, 2007, crossing the street going from the UMW apartments (like dorm rooms off the main campus for the students) to the main campus of UMW--I was going either to the math/CS academic building, Trinkle, or to the library (I think it was that one), to some light studying related task--that the last thing I remembered before I blacked out and forgot everything else, rather amusingly, was that I had just realized that my extremely simple approach to P = NP didn't work, because I hadn't realized at the time that my mistake was believing that NP = coNP in some argument I was considering. Clearly, I have made *extremely tremendous* progress since then!
> > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > I think Michael Sipser is probably not evil...it is very difficult to sort through my "paranoia processing"--I think that thought disorders are more about processing issues, rather than "pure extremeness issues," i.e., I'm not "too paranoid," I have "paranoia-related processing issues," where I'll get some "danger-related theory" and either be way too naive and "un-aroused" in the right way, or I'll be quite aroused enough but feeling insanely stressed out and unsure of what's true, or extremely aroused about the wrong thing to focus on.
> > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > So anyway, I'll end this post now I guess. I don't have much else to say. I am going to get better at hints and assessing others' moods when I'm back to normal...probably, I'll do great with socializing anyway, but *the feeling of continual improvement* at socializing would make me feel better about my previous *very serious perceptiveness errors* that were truly for real and scary/upsetting...next time, I'll be less likely to be wrong...and maybe it will help me impress women I date more too in the future, better to err on the side of trying to being too skilled at understanding others.
> > > > > > > > The top lesson of the day is, which I drew my own attention to recently is:
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > Sometimes, if you treat others as you want to be treated, and try to be attentive to everything they want, and try to grow up and listen to past criticisms about you having been annoying or unpleasant, and you really try to consider how to treat someone else right and fairly and properly, if you go all out to please the person, the person might *still* find you *extremely irritating*, and the person might not admit it. Maybe "repulsive" in a way is better than "irritating"; most healthy people don't get all that irritated in normal social situations where the other person isn't trying...it is just that some people have very sensitive preferences in socializing--I really am not too sensitive like that, I like most people who aren't mean or "hiding an evil backstabber personality" behind a smile, I can't stand dealing with such malicious people these days--and unless you use your mind and ideas--maybe you should develop a "psych theory/tool" to help you understand others better, that can be helpful--to try to get a better sense of others' wants and preferences including when interacting, including ones they're not even aware of, and ones they wouldn't advertise, maybe for fear of being rude or causing a hassle to someone else.
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > In general, you should assume that if you talk to someone for 15 seconds once a month, they won't find that annoying if they're healthy and you are not a bad person. Being willing to go away when asked and respect consent attentively is very smart, because people don't need to go to "DEFCON 20" because they feel trapped by you and don't know what to do about their inability to get rid of you...probably, judging from JRB's horrible conduct with me, he and Obama have problems with "trapping" people who sabotage them quite subtly (probably Jay-Z, I wouldn't be surprised at all, and I'm very allowed to mention the issue), and that is related to how improperly they're dealing with me.
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > If someone seems enthusiastic about spending more time with you, then that is probably a good cue that they like you, unless the person has a possible hidden alternate motive or finds you so disgusting and so disgustingly amusing that he/she wants to have fun doing a fake-out around you as some sort of mean and inappropriate satire.
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > Those are just basic, non-intense-STEMmy thoughts for now.
> > > > > > > So yeah, I can't tell if celebrity people who mentioned me are unable to email me. Some of the flirty women, including the indecent exposure women, from the past probably know my name...can they email me?
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > In case you can't tell, it is very hurtful and upsetting to have, e.g., Jenny Slate and other very pretty female celebrities mention me on the news or in their performances, and act like they would like to date and / or befriend or speak to me, and then at the end of the day--I think I am out--they are just kidding. That is really mean and hurtful, and I know I'm going good places in life in my future with my career and improvements, but I have worked, with some great success (!!), at calming down with my anger and spiteful, intentionally insulting and provocative comments, but I don't understand why people would think that is a good idea to do that to me. In the past, I was less able to be stably in touch with reality than other people, and as of now, given another med increase (last one? I hope so.....), I am now even more stable. I was stable enough to talk before, it is very disappointing and hurtful to me that people were so mean to me for no reason, and I will be OK, but I do not like this kind of treatment, and it is clear that I am a very nice and *worthwhile*, to emphasize that word person.
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > I think at this point, sounding a little bit whiny is better than sounding/feeling too angry for me, at this point, healthwise.
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > Here's looking at asking for better treatment, from everyone, in the future! Try to be nice and treat everyone you know, especially including me, with an appropriately high level of respect! Try being nice, even I know that's how you make friends the most effectively!
> > > > > > I'm pretty sure I'll be able to get my Python project to work effectively, from this computer, soon enough. I'll take some time off before I do it...the idea looks great and an appropriate solution to the specific problem. I'm going to take at least one more day off though, maybe 2 days....I want to feel already relaxed and calm and ready to just work and get some things done, without feeling stressed out. As I often do, I'll probably plan out a schedule and outline for doing all of my work the night before I actually start doing it.
> > > > > A nice thought: Probably, one or two things that I *would* like to be true are actually true. E.g., probably, people have tried to email me and my messages are getting zapped by the bad guys and their malware.
> > > > >
> > > > > I think I need to get a password added again, or the wind-tunnel vector bots might figure out how to login to my computer and do things on it when I'm not around or sleeping.
> > > > Someone at Walmart hinted at something that might be true: DELETE EJ.
> > > >
> > > > Maybe that means: Delete Python IDLE, and also delete Notepad++.
> > > >
> > > > What could have happened is, when I opened a .txt file with Notepad++, Notepad++ wrote out to the file and changed it because it had access to it, and then it displayed the file as it was supposed to look. Then, Notepad++ wound up having some code in it that led to the alternate hidden version of the file to basically be doing a "SQL injection attack" to Notepad++, where it exploits some sort of vulnerability in Windows that makes changes to how MS Edge works. I might need to reinstall some of my programs, and even redownload them. The files should be fine if I only use:
> > > >
> > > > Notepad
> > > > MS Edge
> > > > and Python without IDLE
> > > >
> > > > Possibly, Notepad++ didn't do it on purpose, but their website got infected with malware. No, I don't know if the malware tries to use my computer to launch attacks, and no, VA State police and FBI didn't write back.
> > > >
> > > > I think my email is stopped by government crooks, not malware.
> > > OK...I wound up reinstalling Notepad++.
> > >
> > > I spent a lot of time changing the permissions, esp. denying write permissions for all users I could, for each of the three main programs I'm using: Notepad++, Python, and MSFT Edge.
> > >
> > > I think I will wind up being fine. I think I will basically solve the problem by building my own HTML-reader browser program in Python, and it will just read HTML source from pages and sometimes submit form/other data.
> > >
> > > This whole set of hoops to jump through is just stupid. I'll be fine soon, at least that's what I think right now.
> > So, it looks like the typos are here to stay. I just spent time changing all the permissions of the programs I want to run on Windows. This'll have to do for now.
> >
> > I know how to get around source code detection efforts by the bad guys--I guess I hadn't planned to share that but it's late at night, and it's not a big deal, so why not?--and I'll be sure to mind what sorts of inputs Python programs actually take.
> >
> > It's sure to be a pain...I saw the MS Windows window change as though affected by malware, so yes, it's in the operating system and/or hardware, for sure.
> >
> > I think the typos will stay in, and I'll have to figure out how reliable Python will be.
> >
> > The bad guys have been making more coyote sounds and plane noises outside to wake me up, but I haven't gone to sleep yet. They just made a bug-like insect nose near my microwave. It doesn't matter, but they are crazy and so incredibly evil and right-wing. They think they look good--they are so clueless socially, they know how to be fake, but they have *no idea* most people interact with each other when being normal. They are even behind me, and I just figured some new things out based on psych treatment and I have been isolated for over 10 years.
> >
> > I think my email is "strangled" too.
> >
> > Thoughts on these sorts of nutty tactics, Jake Stenzler and Mark Krempley? Surely you didn't approve of doing this to me and quietly support it all along while working alongside me as a "co-worker" at ABSG? I wonder whom you work with now.
> Probably, I should cool it with my vigorous attempt to circumvent the malware.
>
> The thing is, if the bad guys have the *capability* to halt my trades on Ameritrade, then they surely have used it. They surely sought and gained that capability, so they're not going to let my program work right.
>
> I guess I'll have to wait. Is it over in 12 days? Maybe 12 weeks? I really hope so--I don't know what else to do!
>
> I might focus on chess in the upcoming days.

On Wednesday, April 26, 2023 at 3:30:55 AM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> On Wednesday, April 26, 2023 at 3:13:58 AM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > On Wednesday, April 26, 2023 at 3:01:10 AM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > On Wednesday, April 26, 2023 at 2:30:18 AM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > On Wednesday, April 26, 2023 at 1:37:55 AM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > On Wednesday, April 26, 2023 at 1:15:27 AM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > > On Wednesday, April 26, 2023 at 12:27:28 AM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > > > On Wednesday, April 26, 2023 at 12:24:49 AM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > > > > On Wednesday, April 26, 2023 at 12:14:41 AM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > > > > > On Wednesday, April 26, 2023 at 12:07:27 AM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > > > > > > On Tuesday, April 25, 2023 at 11:55:15 PM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > > > > > > > On Tuesday, April 25, 2023 at 11:37:05 PM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > > > > > > > > On Tuesday, April 25, 2023 at 11:01:56 PM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > > > > > > > > > On Tuesday, April 25, 2023 at 11:01:04 PM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > On Tuesday, April 25, 2023 at 11:00:25 PM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > https://www.cnn.com/2023/01/24/us/how-many-mass-shootings-2023-dg-xpn/index.html
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > You have already killed 219 people this year. How many more will you kill?
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I suspect the malware is going to stop my Python from working.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Maybe I will start to write more psychologically potent posts, maybe I'll write fiction, see if that will change things and help me get out of here.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I'm taking tomorrow off for sure though.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > Do you want *anything* rational at all, or just human suffering Christmas tree ornaments?
> > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > You idiots are sick.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > At this point, one really good question is: If someone foreign *really wanted* to set off a nuclear bomb somewhere in the USA, what force, exactly would stop them?
> > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > I don't think there is one any more.
> > > > > > > > > > > > OK I'm gonna be calm now and relax and enjoy myself..
> > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7IzD4gI1Cs4
> > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > So, yeah, I found out about Jenny Slate from the Westfield skit, great idea, you can call me Manson. Maybe famous people cannot email me due to email issues...so I don't have to be angry.
> > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > So yeah, I think she is lying about smoking pot. Maybe A Shawkat was lying too, I don't know. I've gotta do this one a time here.
> > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > Here's the thing: I have investigated and researched "being in your 30's," by being my 30's. As it turns out, there is a special thing called "The Chips Limit," which I actually discovered just today and which is not the same thing as The Tipping Point, and ...yeah I am really handsome, not literally a dentist, I'll date you, sure...so the thing is that you definitely *cannot* eat 20 chips (Harvest Cheddar) in ...is that improv?...it...could be...and yeah I am handsome enough, I'm getting there, getting thinner...so yeah you cannot actually eat 20 Harvest Cheddar Sun Chips in your 30's and feel good about it, I checked. I think the right "chips limit" is somewhere between 10 and 15 chips.
> > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > I don't get the "anyone take me home and put me in a box in a basement" part...am I being honored for being a good critical thinker, reader, and listener? TRL? TLDR, dazzled? Yeah I'm dazzling. Thanks for noticing.
> > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > I think Jenny Slate is my type except for the making up elaborate lies thing.
> > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > I am good at art, I can be!
> > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > I have watched Venom. I'm very cultured and political too, I didn't listen to the Eminem thing at the end because I'm so liberal and tolerant.
> > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > I don't know anything about the "Tootsie Roll" limit.
> > > > > > > > > > > I just decided to change my mind at look at Jennifer Shahade's Twitter again.
> > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > https://twitter.com/jenshahade
> > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > I like that she accepted my request to apparently not mention me. Thanks. At this point, I don't mind if JS wants to mention me again if she is reading this...I don't mind if I am not mentioned at all again. I like that I asked for a reasonable request and was complied with.
> > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > Is it actually over in April? Maybe it is not. I am not complaining about Ms. Shahde. Also, btw, when I was 9 years old, I got written up in the Maryland chess club (or Maryland chess something) news letter...I was rated like 1000 or 1100, and at a tournament, I beat a man who was maybe in his 40's who was rated like 1600, and the Maryland newsletter wrote about my game. That was neat...I wasn't seen as an up and coming star then though.
> > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > Also, my math-driven chess theories have come along. I might still get back into playing chess someday.
> > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > Additionally, regarding this comment:
> > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > "The part that surprised me the most is how much he enjoyed the drama and excitement of it all. It even made losing tolerable."
> > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > I can't tell if she is expressing some sort of anger about the deaths of the two women...I can't gauge whatever hints or implications are within this, or if she is angry, that is not even close to being anything like a strength of mine yet, I haven't socialized in over a decade....I can only confidently take the comment at close to face value. I don't think I *enjoyed* the drama much...I was stimulated by it very mildly, it was not very dramatic to me. I enjoy certain kinds of drama. The attention I paid is intended as, "I do not want to get in trouble for not saying something and explaining myself clearly, since I just 'bombed Israel' in a way that I claim was legal, moral, and self-defense, and also killed two innocent people." I don't think I *enjoyed* the drama...I debate well, I can go on and on about issues, *finish up making the point and finish strong*--the phrase "finish strong" came from the 3 miles runs at UMW Rugby and I never saw Steven van der Briel there and I am not him. It is like, if you are typing something, and you have a homework assignment, you'd better do it right....that is why I may sound involved or eagerly pursuing something, which is closer to an "A" as in "not an F in some people's eyes who do not see things as I do and do not speak to me." If I enjoyed the drama of explaining why I did something that likely caused two people to die, I enjoyed it about as much as an internet debate with someone I don't agree with. I err on the side of verbosity. I want people to feel that they do understand how I am thinking and feeling clearly and that I am being genuine, so that my own fear, of being fooled by overly subtle/tricky fake people, isn't something I put others through. I have used lots of science/math ideas in my writing at least in the past. I don't want people to feel uncomfortable with that. To me, it would be *refreshing* to have someone take my concerns into account that attentively...maybe others roll their eyes, and I don't know how deep the eye-rolling at everything I value in other people's behavior and conduct goes, since I don't really know any people in terms of conversing with them any more. I know a King Charles Cavalier Spaniel and I talk a little bit to a nurse practitioner once a month, other than that, I would appear to be banned from socializing by bad guys.
> > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > Is it over in April??? I really do hope so. I'm sure I'll be digging around somewhere nearby, still desperately trying to find out when this nonsense ends! Reading hints and "cracking fakeness/subtlety codes", including normal/appropriate ones, is not my strength...I can't tell which of my own preferences and models for other people's behavior are seen or lame or are inaccurate models of how other people tend to think, interact, and prefer to be treated these days...e.g., I hadn't thought about consent until 2014, and now it is a key part of how I interact with others, and yet as an "interaction shirt" so to speak, I have never worn it in a real conversation with another person who was not simply in character as that woman at Kroger that I fell in love with and then extremely quickly fell out of love with after 10 days was--it was a very sophisticated, very hurtful fake, and my psych doctor wasn't helping.
> > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > Anyway, I am feeling pretty OK. It was kind of not fun to write that post again, but the music I am listening to is OK.
> > > > > > > > > > Also, for those wondering about me psychologically, I have a very good plan to improve my ability to be perceptive about other people and their feelings, especially including sincerity and being genuine, using some basic psychology ideas I thought of. Most of my STEM ideas, which are for publication and for other people, are "industrial strength STEM ideas" that are based largely on mathematical formalisms. Sometimes, I find it worthwhile, as in this case, to focus on less formal ideas that will help me as a sort of "not even biological but real-world guide" to things.
> > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > Also, now that I'm worried about my email...as I sort of expected, I never got a reply from Professor Sipser regarding my malware-and-research-related email. I wonder if he did email me back but the message was shot down? The time before last, I didn't receive his message also...that was years ago, it was just another one of my P vs. NP questions. Professor has only ever not responded to emails me that I have sent those two times; in the past, I was quite impressed with him and liked him a lot not that I knew him well, and he once sent me an unpublished paper he had written about P vs. NP when I was an undergraduate student. I believe I started emailing him in either 2007 or 2008...I remember when I was hit by a car on Nov 20, 2007, crossing the street going from the UMW apartments (like dorm rooms off the main campus for the students) to the main campus of UMW--I was going either to the math/CS academic building, Trinkle, or to the library (I think it was that one), to some light studying related task--that the last thing I remembered before I blacked out and forgot everything else, rather amusingly, was that I had just realized that my extremely simple approach to P = NP didn't work, because I hadn't realized at the time that my mistake was believing that NP = coNP in some argument I was considering. Clearly, I have made *extremely tremendous* progress since then!
> > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > I think Michael Sipser is probably not evil...it is very difficult to sort through my "paranoia processing"--I think that thought disorders are more about processing issues, rather than "pure extremeness issues," i.e., I'm not "too paranoid," I have "paranoia-related processing issues," where I'll get some "danger-related theory" and either be way too naive and "un-aroused" in the right way, or I'll be quite aroused enough but feeling insanely stressed out and unsure of what's true, or extremely aroused about the wrong thing to focus on.
> > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > So anyway, I'll end this post now I guess. I don't have much else to say. I am going to get better at hints and assessing others' moods when I'm back to normal...probably, I'll do great with socializing anyway, but *the feeling of continual improvement* at socializing would make me feel better about my previous *very serious perceptiveness errors* that were truly for real and scary/upsetting...next time, I'll be less likely to be wrong...and maybe it will help me impress women I date more too in the future, better to err on the side of trying to being too skilled at understanding others.
> > > > > > > > > The top lesson of the day is, which I drew my own attention to recently is:
> > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > Sometimes, if you treat others as you want to be treated, and try to be attentive to everything they want, and try to grow up and listen to past criticisms about you having been annoying or unpleasant, and you really try to consider how to treat someone else right and fairly and properly, if you go all out to please the person, the person might *still* find you *extremely irritating*, and the person might not admit it. Maybe "repulsive" in a way is better than "irritating"; most healthy people don't get all that irritated in normal social situations where the other person isn't trying...it is just that some people have very sensitive preferences in socializing--I really am not too sensitive like that, I like most people who aren't mean or "hiding an evil backstabber personality" behind a smile, I can't stand dealing with such malicious people these days--and unless you use your mind and ideas--maybe you should develop a "psych theory/tool" to help you understand others better, that can be helpful--to try to get a better sense of others' wants and preferences including when interacting, including ones they're not even aware of, and ones they wouldn't advertise, maybe for fear of being rude or causing a hassle to someone else.
> > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > In general, you should assume that if you talk to someone for 15 seconds once a month, they won't find that annoying if they're healthy and you are not a bad person. Being willing to go away when asked and respect consent attentively is very smart, because people don't need to go to "DEFCON 20" because they feel trapped by you and don't know what to do about their inability to get rid of you...probably, judging from JRB's horrible conduct with me, he and Obama have problems with "trapping" people who sabotage them quite subtly (probably Jay-Z, I wouldn't be surprised at all, and I'm very allowed to mention the issue), and that is related to how improperly they're dealing with me.
> > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > If someone seems enthusiastic about spending more time with you, then that is probably a good cue that they like you, unless the person has a possible hidden alternate motive or finds you so disgusting and so disgustingly amusing that he/she wants to have fun doing a fake-out around you as some sort of mean and inappropriate satire.
> > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > Those are just basic, non-intense-STEMmy thoughts for now..
> > > > > > > > So yeah, I can't tell if celebrity people who mentioned me are unable to email me. Some of the flirty women, including the indecent exposure women, from the past probably know my name...can they email me?
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > In case you can't tell, it is very hurtful and upsetting to have, e.g., Jenny Slate and other very pretty female celebrities mention me on the news or in their performances, and act like they would like to date and / or befriend or speak to me, and then at the end of the day--I think I am out--they are just kidding. That is really mean and hurtful, and I know I'm going good places in life in my future with my career and improvements, but I have worked, with some great success (!!), at calming down with my anger and spiteful, intentionally insulting and provocative comments, but I don't understand why people would think that is a good idea to do that to me. In the past, I was less able to be stably in touch with reality than other people, and as of now, given another med increase (last one? I hope so....), I am now even more stable. I was stable enough to talk before, it is very disappointing and hurtful to me that people were so mean to me for no reason, and I will be OK, but I do not like this kind of treatment, and it is clear that I am a very nice and *worthwhile*, to emphasize that word person.
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > I think at this point, sounding a little bit whiny is better than sounding/feeling too angry for me, at this point, healthwise.
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > Here's looking at asking for better treatment, from everyone, in the future! Try to be nice and treat everyone you know, especially including me, with an appropriately high level of respect! Try being nice, even I know that's how you make friends the most effectively!
> > > > > > > I'm pretty sure I'll be able to get my Python project to work effectively, from this computer, soon enough. I'll take some time off before I do it...the idea looks great and an appropriate solution to the specific problem. I'm going to take at least one more day off though, maybe 2 days...I want to feel already relaxed and calm and ready to just work and get some things done, without feeling stressed out. As I often do, I'll probably plan out a schedule and outline for doing all of my work the night before I actually start doing it.
> > > > > > A nice thought: Probably, one or two things that I *would* like to be true are actually true. E.g., probably, people have tried to email me and my messages are getting zapped by the bad guys and their malware.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > I think I need to get a password added again, or the wind-tunnel vector bots might figure out how to login to my computer and do things on it when I'm not around or sleeping.
> > > > > Someone at Walmart hinted at something that might be true: DELETE EJ.
> > > > >
> > > > > Maybe that means: Delete Python IDLE, and also delete Notepad++.
> > > > >
> > > > > What could have happened is, when I opened a .txt file with Notepad++, Notepad++ wrote out to the file and changed it because it had access to it, and then it displayed the file as it was supposed to look. Then, Notepad++ wound up having some code in it that led to the alternate hidden version of the file to basically be doing a "SQL injection attack" to Notepad++, where it exploits some sort of vulnerability in Windows that makes changes to how MS Edge works. I might need to reinstall some of my programs, and even redownload them. The files should be fine if I only use:
> > > > >
> > > > > Notepad
> > > > > MS Edge
> > > > > and Python without IDLE
> > > > >
> > > > > Possibly, Notepad++ didn't do it on purpose, but their website got infected with malware. No, I don't know if the malware tries to use my computer to launch attacks, and no, VA State police and FBI didn't write back..
> > > > >
> > > > > I think my email is stopped by government crooks, not malware.
> > > > OK...I wound up reinstalling Notepad++.
> > > >
> > > > I spent a lot of time changing the permissions, esp. denying write permissions for all users I could, for each of the three main programs I'm using: Notepad++, Python, and MSFT Edge.
> > > >
> > > > I think I will wind up being fine. I think I will basically solve the problem by building my own HTML-reader browser program in Python, and it will just read HTML source from pages and sometimes submit form/other data..
> > > >
> > > > This whole set of hoops to jump through is just stupid. I'll be fine soon, at least that's what I think right now.
> > > So, it looks like the typos are here to stay. I just spent time changing all the permissions of the programs I want to run on Windows. This'll have to do for now.
> > >
> > > I know how to get around source code detection efforts by the bad guys--I guess I hadn't planned to share that but it's late at night, and it's not a big deal, so why not?--and I'll be sure to mind what sorts of inputs Python programs actually take.
> > >
> > > It's sure to be a pain...I saw the MS Windows window change as though affected by malware, so yes, it's in the operating system and/or hardware, for sure.
> > >
> > > I think the typos will stay in, and I'll have to figure out how reliable Python will be.
> > >
> > > The bad guys have been making more coyote sounds and plane noises outside to wake me up, but I haven't gone to sleep yet. They just made a bug-like insect nose near my microwave. It doesn't matter, but they are crazy and so incredibly evil and right-wing. They think they look good--they are so clueless socially, they know how to be fake, but they have *no idea* most people interact with each other when being normal. They are even behind me, and I just figured some new things out based on psych treatment and I have been isolated for over 10 years.
> > >
> > > I think my email is "strangled" too.
> > >
> > > Thoughts on these sorts of nutty tactics, Jake Stenzler and Mark Krempley? Surely you didn't approve of doing this to me and quietly support it all along while working alongside me as a "co-worker" at ABSG? I wonder whom you work with now.
> > Probably, I should cool it with my vigorous attempt to circumvent the malware.
> >
> > The thing is, if the bad guys have the *capability* to halt my trades on Ameritrade, then they surely have used it. They surely sought and gained that capability, so they're not going to let my program work right.
> >
> > I guess I'll have to wait. Is it over in 12 days? Maybe 12 weeks? I really hope so--I don't know what else to do!
> >
> > I might focus on chess in the upcoming days.
> I think a good way to put it, using Mr. Richardson's clearance metaphor, is, "It turns out, I don't have the right 'clearance' to fix the computing issues and socializing issues that I have, and I don't know who does or how to reach that person."
>
> I would imagine it is in someone else's hands now. I don't know what needs to be done next, I shouldn't need such high-power help to get out of a mess like this--I've been overtly in serious distress and totally innocent for over 10 years, where is the "armada" of people--the legion of people--that ought to be here to show up and surround the bad guys and help me get out of this, and/or protest???

On Wednesday, April 26, 2023 at 3:33:23 AM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> On Wednesday, April 26, 2023 at 3:30:55 AM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > On Wednesday, April 26, 2023 at 3:13:58 AM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > On Wednesday, April 26, 2023 at 3:01:10 AM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > On Wednesday, April 26, 2023 at 2:30:18 AM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > On Wednesday, April 26, 2023 at 1:37:55 AM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > > On Wednesday, April 26, 2023 at 1:15:27 AM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > > > On Wednesday, April 26, 2023 at 12:27:28 AM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > > > > On Wednesday, April 26, 2023 at 12:24:49 AM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > > > > > On Wednesday, April 26, 2023 at 12:14:41 AM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > > > > > > On Wednesday, April 26, 2023 at 12:07:27 AM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > > > > > > > On Tuesday, April 25, 2023 at 11:55:15 PM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > > > > > > > > On Tuesday, April 25, 2023 at 11:37:05 PM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > > > > > > > > > On Tuesday, April 25, 2023 at 11:01:56 PM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > On Tuesday, April 25, 2023 at 11:01:04 PM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > On Tuesday, April 25, 2023 at 11:00:25 PM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > https://www.cnn.com/2023/01/24/us/how-many-mass-shootings-2023-dg-xpn/index.html
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > You have already killed 219 people this year. How many more will you kill?
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I suspect the malware is going to stop my Python from working.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Maybe I will start to write more psychologically potent posts, maybe I'll write fiction, see if that will change things and help me get out of here.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I'm taking tomorrow off for sure though.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Do you want *anything* rational at all, or just human suffering Christmas tree ornaments?
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > You idiots are sick.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > At this point, one really good question is: If someone foreign *really wanted* to set off a nuclear bomb somewhere in the USA, what force, exactly would stop them?
> > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > I don't think there is one any more.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > OK I'm gonna be calm now and relax and enjoy myself.
> > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7IzD4gI1Cs4
> > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > So, yeah, I found out about Jenny Slate from the Westfield skit, great idea, you can call me Manson. Maybe famous people cannot email me due to email issues...so I don't have to be angry.
> > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > So yeah, I think she is lying about smoking pot. Maybe A Shawkat was lying too, I don't know. I've gotta do this one a time here.
> > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > Here's the thing: I have investigated and researched "being in your 30's," by being my 30's. As it turns out, there is a special thing called "The Chips Limit," which I actually discovered just today and which is not the same thing as The Tipping Point, and ...yeah I am really handsome, not literally a dentist, I'll date you, sure...so the thing is that you definitely *cannot* eat 20 chips (Harvest Cheddar) in ...is that improv?...it...could be...and yeah I am handsome enough, I'm getting there, getting thinner...so yeah you cannot actually eat 20 Harvest Cheddar Sun Chips in your 30's and feel good about it, I checked. I think the right "chips limit" is somewhere between 10 and 15 chips.
> > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > I don't get the "anyone take me home and put me in a box in a basement" part...am I being honored for being a good critical thinker, reader, and listener? TRL? TLDR, dazzled? Yeah I'm dazzling. Thanks for noticing.
> > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > I think Jenny Slate is my type except for the making up elaborate lies thing.
> > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > I am good at art, I can be!
> > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > I have watched Venom. I'm very cultured and political too, I didn't listen to the Eminem thing at the end because I'm so liberal and tolerant.
> > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > I don't know anything about the "Tootsie Roll" limit.
> > > > > > > > > > > > I just decided to change my mind at look at Jennifer Shahade's Twitter again.
> > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > https://twitter.com/jenshahade
> > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > I like that she accepted my request to apparently not mention me. Thanks. At this point, I don't mind if JS wants to mention me again if she is reading this...I don't mind if I am not mentioned at all again. I like that I asked for a reasonable request and was complied with.
> > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > Is it actually over in April? Maybe it is not. I am not complaining about Ms. Shahde. Also, btw, when I was 9 years old, I got written up in the Maryland chess club (or Maryland chess something) news letter...I was rated like 1000 or 1100, and at a tournament, I beat a man who was maybe in his 40's who was rated like 1600, and the Maryland newsletter wrote about my game. That was neat...I wasn't seen as an up and coming star then though.
> > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > Also, my math-driven chess theories have come along.. I might still get back into playing chess someday.
> > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > Additionally, regarding this comment:
> > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > "The part that surprised me the most is how much he enjoyed the drama and excitement of it all. It even made losing tolerable."
> > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > I can't tell if she is expressing some sort of anger about the deaths of the two women...I can't gauge whatever hints or implications are within this, or if she is angry, that is not even close to being anything like a strength of mine yet, I haven't socialized in over a decade...I can only confidently take the comment at close to face value. I don't think I *enjoyed* the drama much...I was stimulated by it very mildly, it was not very dramatic to me. I enjoy certain kinds of drama. The attention I paid is intended as, "I do not want to get in trouble for not saying something and explaining myself clearly, since I just 'bombed Israel' in a way that I claim was legal, moral, and self-defense, and also killed two innocent people." I don't think I *enjoyed* the drama...I debate well, I can go on and on about issues, *finish up making the point and finish strong*--the phrase "finish strong" came from the 3 miles runs at UMW Rugby and I never saw Steven van der Briel there and I am not him. It is like, if you are typing something, and you have a homework assignment, you'd better do it right...that is why I may sound involved or eagerly pursuing something, which is closer to an "A" as in "not an F in some people's eyes who do not see things as I do and do not speak to me." If I enjoyed the drama of explaining why I did something that likely caused two people to die, I enjoyed it about as much as an internet debate with someone I don't agree with. I err on the side of verbosity. I want people to feel that they do understand how I am thinking and feeling clearly and that I am being genuine, so that my own fear, of being fooled by overly subtle/tricky fake people, isn't something I put others through. I have used lots of science/math ideas in my writing at least in the past. I don't want people to feel uncomfortable with that. To me, it would be *refreshing* to have someone take my concerns into account that attentively...maybe others roll their eyes, and I don't know how deep the eye-rolling at everything I value in other people's behavior and conduct goes, since I don't really know any people in terms of conversing with them any more. I know a King Charles Cavalier Spaniel and I talk a little bit to a nurse practitioner once a month, other than that, I would appear to be banned from socializing by bad guys.
> > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > Is it over in April??? I really do hope so. I'm sure I'll be digging around somewhere nearby, still desperately trying to find out when this nonsense ends! Reading hints and "cracking fakeness/subtlety codes", including normal/appropriate ones, is not my strength...I can't tell which of my own preferences and models for other people's behavior are seen or lame or are inaccurate models of how other people tend to think, interact, and prefer to be treated these days...e.g., I hadn't thought about consent until 2014, and now it is a key part of how I interact with others, and yet as an "interaction shirt" so to speak, I have never worn it in a real conversation with another person who was not simply in character as that woman at Kroger that I fell in love with and then extremely quickly fell out of love with after 10 days was--it was a very sophisticated, very hurtful fake, and my psych doctor wasn't helping.
> > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > Anyway, I am feeling pretty OK. It was kind of not fun to write that post again, but the music I am listening to is OK.
> > > > > > > > > > > Also, for those wondering about me psychologically, I have a very good plan to improve my ability to be perceptive about other people and their feelings, especially including sincerity and being genuine, using some basic psychology ideas I thought of. Most of my STEM ideas, which are for publication and for other people, are "industrial strength STEM ideas" that are based largely on mathematical formalisms. Sometimes, I find it worthwhile, as in this case, to focus on less formal ideas that will help me as a sort of "not even biological but real-world guide" to things.
> > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > Also, now that I'm worried about my email...as I sort of expected, I never got a reply from Professor Sipser regarding my malware-and-research-related email. I wonder if he did email me back but the message was shot down? The time before last, I didn't receive his message also....that was years ago, it was just another one of my P vs. NP questions. Professor has only ever not responded to emails me that I have sent those two times; in the past, I was quite impressed with him and liked him a lot not that I knew him well, and he once sent me an unpublished paper he had written about P vs. NP when I was an undergraduate student. I believe I started emailing him in either 2007 or 2008...I remember when I was hit by a car on Nov 20, 2007, crossing the street going from the UMW apartments (like dorm rooms off the main campus for the students) to the main campus of UMW--I was going either to the math/CS academic building, Trinkle, or to the library (I think it was that one), to some light studying related task--that the last thing I remembered before I blacked out and forgot everything else, rather amusingly, was that I had just realized that my extremely simple approach to P = NP didn't work, because I hadn't realized at the time that my mistake was believing that NP = coNP in some argument I was considering. Clearly, I have made *extremely tremendous* progress since then!
> > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > I think Michael Sipser is probably not evil...it is very difficult to sort through my "paranoia processing"--I think that thought disorders are more about processing issues, rather than "pure extremeness issues," i.e., I'm not "too paranoid," I have "paranoia-related processing issues," where I'll get some "danger-related theory" and either be way too naive and "un-aroused" in the right way, or I'll be quite aroused enough but feeling insanely stressed out and unsure of what's true, or extremely aroused about the wrong thing to focus on.
> > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > So anyway, I'll end this post now I guess. I don't have much else to say. I am going to get better at hints and assessing others' moods when I'm back to normal...probably, I'll do great with socializing anyway, but *the feeling of continual improvement* at socializing would make me feel better about my previous *very serious perceptiveness errors* that were truly for real and scary/upsetting...next time, I'll be less likely to be wrong...and maybe it will help me impress women I date more too in the future, better to err on the side of trying to being too skilled at understanding others.
> > > > > > > > > > The top lesson of the day is, which I drew my own attention to recently is:
> > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > Sometimes, if you treat others as you want to be treated, and try to be attentive to everything they want, and try to grow up and listen to past criticisms about you having been annoying or unpleasant, and you really try to consider how to treat someone else right and fairly and properly, if you go all out to please the person, the person might *still* find you *extremely irritating*, and the person might not admit it. Maybe "repulsive" in a way is better than "irritating"; most healthy people don't get all that irritated in normal social situations where the other person isn't trying...it is just that some people have very sensitive preferences in socializing--I really am not too sensitive like that, I like most people who aren't mean or "hiding an evil backstabber personality" behind a smile, I can't stand dealing with such malicious people these days--and unless you use your mind and ideas--maybe you should develop a "psych theory/tool" to help you understand others better, that can be helpful--to try to get a better sense of others' wants and preferences including when interacting, including ones they're not even aware of, and ones they wouldn't advertise, maybe for fear of being rude or causing a hassle to someone else.
> > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > In general, you should assume that if you talk to someone for 15 seconds once a month, they won't find that annoying if they're healthy and you are not a bad person. Being willing to go away when asked and respect consent attentively is very smart, because people don't need to go to "DEFCON 20" because they feel trapped by you and don't know what to do about their inability to get rid of you...probably, judging from JRB's horrible conduct with me, he and Obama have problems with "trapping" people who sabotage them quite subtly (probably Jay-Z, I wouldn't be surprised at all, and I'm very allowed to mention the issue), and that is related to how improperly they're dealing with me.
> > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > If someone seems enthusiastic about spending more time with you, then that is probably a good cue that they like you, unless the person has a possible hidden alternate motive or finds you so disgusting and so disgustingly amusing that he/she wants to have fun doing a fake-out around you as some sort of mean and inappropriate satire.
> > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > Those are just basic, non-intense-STEMmy thoughts for now.
> > > > > > > > > So yeah, I can't tell if celebrity people who mentioned me are unable to email me. Some of the flirty women, including the indecent exposure women, from the past probably know my name...can they email me?
> > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > In case you can't tell, it is very hurtful and upsetting to have, e.g., Jenny Slate and other very pretty female celebrities mention me on the news or in their performances, and act like they would like to date and / or befriend or speak to me, and then at the end of the day--I think I am out--they are just kidding. That is really mean and hurtful, and I know I'm going good places in life in my future with my career and improvements, but I have worked, with some great success (!!), at calming down with my anger and spiteful, intentionally insulting and provocative comments, but I don't understand why people would think that is a good idea to do that to me. In the past, I was less able to be stably in touch with reality than other people, and as of now, given another med increase (last one? I hope so....), I am now even more stable. I was stable enough to talk before, it is very disappointing and hurtful to me that people were so mean to me for no reason, and I will be OK, but I do not like this kind of treatment, and it is clear that I am a very nice and *worthwhile*, to emphasize that word person.
> > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > I think at this point, sounding a little bit whiny is better than sounding/feeling too angry for me, at this point, healthwise.
> > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > Here's looking at asking for better treatment, from everyone, in the future! Try to be nice and treat everyone you know, especially including me, with an appropriately high level of respect! Try being nice, even I know that's how you make friends the most effectively!
> > > > > > > > I'm pretty sure I'll be able to get my Python project to work effectively, from this computer, soon enough. I'll take some time off before I do it...the idea looks great and an appropriate solution to the specific problem. I'm going to take at least one more day off though, maybe 2 days...I want to feel already relaxed and calm and ready to just work and get some things done, without feeling stressed out. As I often do, I'll probably plan out a schedule and outline for doing all of my work the night before I actually start doing it.
> > > > > > > A nice thought: Probably, one or two things that I *would* like to be true are actually true. E.g., probably, people have tried to email me and my messages are getting zapped by the bad guys and their malware.
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > I think I need to get a password added again, or the wind-tunnel vector bots might figure out how to login to my computer and do things on it when I'm not around or sleeping.
> > > > > > Someone at Walmart hinted at something that might be true: DELETE EJ.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Maybe that means: Delete Python IDLE, and also delete Notepad++..
> > > > > >
> > > > > > What could have happened is, when I opened a .txt file with Notepad++, Notepad++ wrote out to the file and changed it because it had access to it, and then it displayed the file as it was supposed to look. Then, Notepad++ wound up having some code in it that led to the alternate hidden version of the file to basically be doing a "SQL injection attack" to Notepad++, where it exploits some sort of vulnerability in Windows that makes changes to how MS Edge works. I might need to reinstall some of my programs, and even redownload them. The files should be fine if I only use:
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Notepad
> > > > > > MS Edge
> > > > > > and Python without IDLE
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Possibly, Notepad++ didn't do it on purpose, but their website got infected with malware. No, I don't know if the malware tries to use my computer to launch attacks, and no, VA State police and FBI didn't write back.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > I think my email is stopped by government crooks, not malware.
> > > > > OK...I wound up reinstalling Notepad++.
> > > > >
> > > > > I spent a lot of time changing the permissions, esp. denying write permissions for all users I could, for each of the three main programs I'm using: Notepad++, Python, and MSFT Edge.
> > > > >
> > > > > I think I will wind up being fine. I think I will basically solve the problem by building my own HTML-reader browser program in Python, and it will just read HTML source from pages and sometimes submit form/other data.
> > > > >
> > > > > This whole set of hoops to jump through is just stupid. I'll be fine soon, at least that's what I think right now.
> > > > So, it looks like the typos are here to stay. I just spent time changing all the permissions of the programs I want to run on Windows. This'll have to do for now.
> > > >
> > > > I know how to get around source code detection efforts by the bad guys--I guess I hadn't planned to share that but it's late at night, and it's not a big deal, so why not?--and I'll be sure to mind what sorts of inputs Python programs actually take.
> > > >
> > > > It's sure to be a pain...I saw the MS Windows window change as though affected by malware, so yes, it's in the operating system and/or hardware, for sure.
> > > >
> > > > I think the typos will stay in, and I'll have to figure out how reliable Python will be.
> > > >
> > > > The bad guys have been making more coyote sounds and plane noises outside to wake me up, but I haven't gone to sleep yet. They just made a bug-like insect nose near my microwave. It doesn't matter, but they are crazy and so incredibly evil and right-wing. They think they look good--they are so clueless socially, they know how to be fake, but they have *no idea* most people interact with each other when being normal. They are even behind me, and I just figured some new things out based on psych treatment and I have been isolated for over 10 years.
> > > >
> > > > I think my email is "strangled" too.
> > > >
> > > > Thoughts on these sorts of nutty tactics, Jake Stenzler and Mark Krempley? Surely you didn't approve of doing this to me and quietly support it all along while working alongside me as a "co-worker" at ABSG? I wonder whom you work with now.
> > > Probably, I should cool it with my vigorous attempt to circumvent the malware.
> > >
> > > The thing is, if the bad guys have the *capability* to halt my trades on Ameritrade, then they surely have used it. They surely sought and gained that capability, so they're not going to let my program work right.
> > >
> > > I guess I'll have to wait. Is it over in 12 days? Maybe 12 weeks? I really hope so--I don't know what else to do!
> > >
> > > I might focus on chess in the upcoming days.
> > I think a good way to put it, using Mr. Richardson's clearance metaphor, is, "It turns out, I don't have the right 'clearance' to fix the computing issues and socializing issues that I have, and I don't know who does or how to reach that person."
> >
> > I would imagine it is in someone else's hands now. I don't know what needs to be done next, I shouldn't need such high-power help to get out of a mess like this--I've been overtly in serious distress and totally innocent for over 10 years, where is the "armada" of people--the legion of people--that ought to be here to show up and surround the bad guys and help me get out of this, and/or protest???
> Maybe, though, even without the clearance, I can sort of get around the issue...like in the past, I could socialize with Marie Coates sometimes, I just had to avoid certain areas, and with the choking and satellite harassment, I just have to avoid non-blocked windows, so maybe with the malware thing, I *can* trade stocks, but I just have to be careful about it.
>
> I'll find out in a few days when I come back to it.
>
> Tonight I'm going to listen to a little more music and then go to bed by 4 I'm sure. I had a pretty good low-stress today, and my medication is up as I said.

On Wednesday, April 26, 2023 at 2:40:33 PM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> On Wednesday, April 26, 2023 at 3:33:23 AM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > On Wednesday, April 26, 2023 at 3:30:55 AM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > On Wednesday, April 26, 2023 at 3:13:58 AM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > On Wednesday, April 26, 2023 at 3:01:10 AM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > On Wednesday, April 26, 2023 at 2:30:18 AM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > > On Wednesday, April 26, 2023 at 1:37:55 AM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > > > On Wednesday, April 26, 2023 at 1:15:27 AM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > > > > On Wednesday, April 26, 2023 at 12:27:28 AM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > > > > > On Wednesday, April 26, 2023 at 12:24:49 AM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > > > > > > On Wednesday, April 26, 2023 at 12:14:41 AM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > > > > > > > On Wednesday, April 26, 2023 at 12:07:27 AM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > > > > > > > > On Tuesday, April 25, 2023 at 11:55:15 PM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > > > > > > > > > On Tuesday, April 25, 2023 at 11:37:05 PM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > On Tuesday, April 25, 2023 at 11:01:56 PM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > On Tuesday, April 25, 2023 at 11:01:04 PM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > On Tuesday, April 25, 2023 at 11:00:25 PM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > https://www.cnn.com/2023/01/24/us/how-many-mass-shootings-2023-dg-xpn/index.html
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > You have already killed 219 people this year. How many more will you kill?
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I suspect the malware is going to stop my Python from working.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Maybe I will start to write more psychologically potent posts, maybe I'll write fiction, see if that will change things and help me get out of here.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I'm taking tomorrow off for sure though.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Do you want *anything* rational at all, or just human suffering Christmas tree ornaments?
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > You idiots are sick.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > At this point, one really good question is: If someone foreign *really wanted* to set off a nuclear bomb somewhere in the USA, what force, exactly would stop them?
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I don't think there is one any more.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > OK I'm gonna be calm now and relax and enjoy myself.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7IzD4gI1Cs4
> > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > So, yeah, I found out about Jenny Slate from the Westfield skit, great idea, you can call me Manson. Maybe famous people cannot email me due to email issues...so I don't have to be angry.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > So yeah, I think she is lying about smoking pot.. Maybe A Shawkat was lying too, I don't know. I've gotta do this one a time here.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > Here's the thing: I have investigated and researched "being in your 30's," by being my 30's. As it turns out, there is a special thing called "The Chips Limit," which I actually discovered just today and which is not the same thing as The Tipping Point, and ...yeah I am really handsome, not literally a dentist, I'll date you, sure...so the thing is that you definitely *cannot* eat 20 chips (Harvest Cheddar) in ...is that improv?...it...could be...and yeah I am handsome enough, I'm getting there, getting thinner...so yeah you cannot actually eat 20 Harvest Cheddar Sun Chips in your 30's and feel good about it, I checked. I think the right "chips limit" is somewhere between 10 and 15 chips.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > I don't get the "anyone take me home and put me in a box in a basement" part...am I being honored for being a good critical thinker, reader, and listener? TRL? TLDR, dazzled? Yeah I'm dazzling. Thanks for noticing.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > I think Jenny Slate is my type except for the making up elaborate lies thing.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > I am good at art, I can be!
> > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > I have watched Venom. I'm very cultured and political too, I didn't listen to the Eminem thing at the end because I'm so liberal and tolerant.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > I don't know anything about the "Tootsie Roll" limit.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > I just decided to change my mind at look at Jennifer Shahade's Twitter again.
> > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > https://twitter.com/jenshahade
> > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > I like that she accepted my request to apparently not mention me. Thanks. At this point, I don't mind if JS wants to mention me again if she is reading this...I don't mind if I am not mentioned at all again. I like that I asked for a reasonable request and was complied with..
> > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > Is it actually over in April? Maybe it is not. I am not complaining about Ms. Shahde. Also, btw, when I was 9 years old, I got written up in the Maryland chess club (or Maryland chess something) news letter...I was rated like 1000 or 1100, and at a tournament, I beat a man who was maybe in his 40's who was rated like 1600, and the Maryland newsletter wrote about my game. That was neat...I wasn't seen as an up and coming star then though.
> > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > Also, my math-driven chess theories have come along. I might still get back into playing chess someday.
> > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > Additionally, regarding this comment:
> > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > "The part that surprised me the most is how much he enjoyed the drama and excitement of it all. It even made losing tolerable."
> > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > I can't tell if she is expressing some sort of anger about the deaths of the two women...I can't gauge whatever hints or implications are within this, or if she is angry, that is not even close to being anything like a strength of mine yet, I haven't socialized in over a decade...I can only confidently take the comment at close to face value. I don't think I *enjoyed* the drama much...I was stimulated by it very mildly, it was not very dramatic to me. I enjoy certain kinds of drama. The attention I paid is intended as, "I do not want to get in trouble for not saying something and explaining myself clearly, since I just 'bombed Israel' in a way that I claim was legal, moral, and self-defense, and also killed two innocent people." I don't think I *enjoyed* the drama...I debate well, I can go on and on about issues, *finish up making the point and finish strong*--the phrase "finish strong" came from the 3 miles runs at UMW Rugby and I never saw Steven van der Briel there and I am not him. It is like, if you are typing something, and you have a homework assignment, you'd better do it right...that is why I may sound involved or eagerly pursuing something, which is closer to an "A" as in "not an F in some people's eyes who do not see things as I do and do not speak to me." If I enjoyed the drama of explaining why I did something that likely caused two people to die, I enjoyed it about as much as an internet debate with someone I don't agree with. I err on the side of verbosity. I want people to feel that they do understand how I am thinking and feeling clearly and that I am being genuine, so that my own fear, of being fooled by overly subtle/tricky fake people, isn't something I put others through. I have used lots of science/math ideas in my writing at least in the past. I don't want people to feel uncomfortable with that. To me, it would be *refreshing* to have someone take my concerns into account that attentively...maybe others roll their eyes, and I don't know how deep the eye-rolling at everything I value in other people's behavior and conduct goes, since I don't really know any people in terms of conversing with them any more. I know a King Charles Cavalier Spaniel and I talk a little bit to a nurse practitioner once a month, other than that, I would appear to be banned from socializing by bad guys.
> > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > Is it over in April??? I really do hope so. I'm sure I'll be digging around somewhere nearby, still desperately trying to find out when this nonsense ends! Reading hints and "cracking fakeness/subtlety codes", including normal/appropriate ones, is not my strength...I can't tell which of my own preferences and models for other people's behavior are seen or lame or are inaccurate models of how other people tend to think, interact, and prefer to be treated these days...e.g., I hadn't thought about consent until 2014, and now it is a key part of how I interact with others, and yet as an "interaction shirt" so to speak, I have never worn it in a real conversation with another person who was not simply in character as that woman at Kroger that I fell in love with and then extremely quickly fell out of love with after 10 days was--it was a very sophisticated, very hurtful fake, and my psych doctor wasn't helping.
> > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > Anyway, I am feeling pretty OK. It was kind of not fun to write that post again, but the music I am listening to is OK.
> > > > > > > > > > > > Also, for those wondering about me psychologically, I have a very good plan to improve my ability to be perceptive about other people and their feelings, especially including sincerity and being genuine, using some basic psychology ideas I thought of. Most of my STEM ideas, which are for publication and for other people, are "industrial strength STEM ideas" that are based largely on mathematical formalisms. Sometimes, I find it worthwhile, as in this case, to focus on less formal ideas that will help me as a sort of "not even biological but real-world guide" to things.
> > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > Also, now that I'm worried about my email...as I sort of expected, I never got a reply from Professor Sipser regarding my malware-and-research-related email. I wonder if he did email me back but the message was shot down? The time before last, I didn't receive his message also...that was years ago, it was just another one of my P vs. NP questions. Professor has only ever not responded to emails me that I have sent those two times; in the past, I was quite impressed with him and liked him a lot not that I knew him well, and he once sent me an unpublished paper he had written about P vs. NP when I was an undergraduate student. I believe I started emailing him in either 2007 or 2008...I remember when I was hit by a car on Nov 20, 2007, crossing the street going from the UMW apartments (like dorm rooms off the main campus for the students) to the main campus of UMW--I was going either to the math/CS academic building, Trinkle, or to the library (I think it was that one), to some light studying related task--that the last thing I remembered before I blacked out and forgot everything else, rather amusingly, was that I had just realized that my extremely simple approach to P = NP didn't work, because I hadn't realized at the time that my mistake was believing that NP = coNP in some argument I was considering.. Clearly, I have made *extremely tremendous* progress since then!
> > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > I think Michael Sipser is probably not evil...it is very difficult to sort through my "paranoia processing"--I think that thought disorders are more about processing issues, rather than "pure extremeness issues," i.e., I'm not "too paranoid," I have "paranoia-related processing issues," where I'll get some "danger-related theory" and either be way too naive and "un-aroused" in the right way, or I'll be quite aroused enough but feeling insanely stressed out and unsure of what's true, or extremely aroused about the wrong thing to focus on.
> > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > So anyway, I'll end this post now I guess. I don't have much else to say. I am going to get better at hints and assessing others' moods when I'm back to normal...probably, I'll do great with socializing anyway, but *the feeling of continual improvement* at socializing would make me feel better about my previous *very serious perceptiveness errors* that were truly for real and scary/upsetting...next time, I'll be less likely to be wrong...and maybe it will help me impress women I date more too in the future, better to err on the side of trying to being too skilled at understanding others.
> > > > > > > > > > > The top lesson of the day is, which I drew my own attention to recently is:
> > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > Sometimes, if you treat others as you want to be treated, and try to be attentive to everything they want, and try to grow up and listen to past criticisms about you having been annoying or unpleasant, and you really try to consider how to treat someone else right and fairly and properly, if you go all out to please the person, the person might *still* find you *extremely irritating*, and the person might not admit it. Maybe "repulsive" in a way is better than "irritating"; most healthy people don't get all that irritated in normal social situations where the other person isn't trying...it is just that some people have very sensitive preferences in socializing--I really am not too sensitive like that, I like most people who aren't mean or "hiding an evil backstabber personality" behind a smile, I can't stand dealing with such malicious people these days--and unless you use your mind and ideas--maybe you should develop a "psych theory/tool" to help you understand others better, that can be helpful--to try to get a better sense of others' wants and preferences including when interacting, including ones they're not even aware of, and ones they wouldn't advertise, maybe for fear of being rude or causing a hassle to someone else.
> > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > In general, you should assume that if you talk to someone for 15 seconds once a month, they won't find that annoying if they're healthy and you are not a bad person. Being willing to go away when asked and respect consent attentively is very smart, because people don't need to go to "DEFCON 20" because they feel trapped by you and don't know what to do about their inability to get rid of you...probably, judging from JRB's horrible conduct with me, he and Obama have problems with "trapping" people who sabotage them quite subtly (probably Jay-Z, I wouldn't be surprised at all, and I'm very allowed to mention the issue), and that is related to how improperly they're dealing with me.
> > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > If someone seems enthusiastic about spending more time with you, then that is probably a good cue that they like you, unless the person has a possible hidden alternate motive or finds you so disgusting and so disgustingly amusing that he/she wants to have fun doing a fake-out around you as some sort of mean and inappropriate satire.
> > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > Those are just basic, non-intense-STEMmy thoughts for now.
> > > > > > > > > > So yeah, I can't tell if celebrity people who mentioned me are unable to email me. Some of the flirty women, including the indecent exposure women, from the past probably know my name...can they email me?
> > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > In case you can't tell, it is very hurtful and upsetting to have, e.g., Jenny Slate and other very pretty female celebrities mention me on the news or in their performances, and act like they would like to date and / or befriend or speak to me, and then at the end of the day--I think I am out--they are just kidding. That is really mean and hurtful, and I know I'm going good places in life in my future with my career and improvements, but I have worked, with some great success (!!), at calming down with my anger and spiteful, intentionally insulting and provocative comments, but I don't understand why people would think that is a good idea to do that to me. In the past, I was less able to be stably in touch with reality than other people, and as of now, given another med increase (last one? I hope so....), I am now even more stable. I was stable enough to talk before, it is very disappointing and hurtful to me that people were so mean to me for no reason, and I will be OK, but I do not like this kind of treatment, and it is clear that I am a very nice and *worthwhile*, to emphasize that word person.
> > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > I think at this point, sounding a little bit whiny is better than sounding/feeling too angry for me, at this point, healthwise.
> > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > Here's looking at asking for better treatment, from everyone, in the future! Try to be nice and treat everyone you know, especially including me, with an appropriately high level of respect! Try being nice, even I know that's how you make friends the most effectively!
> > > > > > > > > I'm pretty sure I'll be able to get my Python project to work effectively, from this computer, soon enough. I'll take some time off before I do it...the idea looks great and an appropriate solution to the specific problem. I'm going to take at least one more day off though, maybe 2 days...I want to feel already relaxed and calm and ready to just work and get some things done, without feeling stressed out. As I often do, I'll probably plan out a schedule and outline for doing all of my work the night before I actually start doing it.
> > > > > > > > A nice thought: Probably, one or two things that I *would* like to be true are actually true. E.g., probably, people have tried to email me and my messages are getting zapped by the bad guys and their malware.
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > I think I need to get a password added again, or the wind-tunnel vector bots might figure out how to login to my computer and do things on it when I'm not around or sleeping.
> > > > > > > Someone at Walmart hinted at something that might be true: DELETE EJ.
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > Maybe that means: Delete Python IDLE, and also delete Notepad++.
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > What could have happened is, when I opened a .txt file with Notepad++, Notepad++ wrote out to the file and changed it because it had access to it, and then it displayed the file as it was supposed to look. Then, Notepad++ wound up having some code in it that led to the alternate hidden version of the file to basically be doing a "SQL injection attack" to Notepad++, where it exploits some sort of vulnerability in Windows that makes changes to how MS Edge works. I might need to reinstall some of my programs, and even redownload them. The files should be fine if I only use:
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > Notepad
> > > > > > > MS Edge
> > > > > > > and Python without IDLE
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > Possibly, Notepad++ didn't do it on purpose, but their website got infected with malware. No, I don't know if the malware tries to use my computer to launch attacks, and no, VA State police and FBI didn't write back.
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > I think my email is stopped by government crooks, not malware..
> > > > > > OK...I wound up reinstalling Notepad++.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > I spent a lot of time changing the permissions, esp. denying write permissions for all users I could, for each of the three main programs I'm using: Notepad++, Python, and MSFT Edge.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > I think I will wind up being fine. I think I will basically solve the problem by building my own HTML-reader browser program in Python, and it will just read HTML source from pages and sometimes submit form/other data.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > This whole set of hoops to jump through is just stupid. I'll be fine soon, at least that's what I think right now.
> > > > > So, it looks like the typos are here to stay. I just spent time changing all the permissions of the programs I want to run on Windows. This'll have to do for now.
> > > > >
> > > > > I know how to get around source code detection efforts by the bad guys--I guess I hadn't planned to share that but it's late at night, and it's not a big deal, so why not?--and I'll be sure to mind what sorts of inputs Python programs actually take.
> > > > >
> > > > > It's sure to be a pain...I saw the MS Windows window change as though affected by malware, so yes, it's in the operating system and/or hardware, for sure.
> > > > >
> > > > > I think the typos will stay in, and I'll have to figure out how reliable Python will be.
> > > > >
> > > > > The bad guys have been making more coyote sounds and plane noises outside to wake me up, but I haven't gone to sleep yet. They just made a bug-like insect nose near my microwave. It doesn't matter, but they are crazy and so incredibly evil and right-wing. They think they look good--they are so clueless socially, they know how to be fake, but they have *no idea* most people interact with each other when being normal. They are even behind me, and I just figured some new things out based on psych treatment and I have been isolated for over 10 years.
> > > > >
> > > > > I think my email is "strangled" too.
> > > > >
> > > > > Thoughts on these sorts of nutty tactics, Jake Stenzler and Mark Krempley? Surely you didn't approve of doing this to me and quietly support it all along while working alongside me as a "co-worker" at ABSG? I wonder whom you work with now.
> > > > Probably, I should cool it with my vigorous attempt to circumvent the malware.
> > > >
> > > > The thing is, if the bad guys have the *capability* to halt my trades on Ameritrade, then they surely have used it. They surely sought and gained that capability, so they're not going to let my program work right.
> > > >
> > > > I guess I'll have to wait. Is it over in 12 days? Maybe 12 weeks? I really hope so--I don't know what else to do!
> > > >
> > > > I might focus on chess in the upcoming days.
> > > I think a good way to put it, using Mr. Richardson's clearance metaphor, is, "It turns out, I don't have the right 'clearance' to fix the computing issues and socializing issues that I have, and I don't know who does or how to reach that person."
> > >
> > > I would imagine it is in someone else's hands now. I don't know what needs to be done next, I shouldn't need such high-power help to get out of a mess like this--I've been overtly in serious distress and totally innocent for over 10 years, where is the "armada" of people--the legion of people--that ought to be here to show up and surround the bad guys and help me get out of this, and/or protest???
> > Maybe, though, even without the clearance, I can sort of get around the issue...like in the past, I could socialize with Marie Coates sometimes, I just had to avoid certain areas, and with the choking and satellite harassment, I just have to avoid non-blocked windows, so maybe with the malware thing, I *can* trade stocks, but I just have to be careful about it.
> >
> > I'll find out in a few days when I come back to it.
> >
> > Tonight I'm going to listen to a little more music and then go to bed by 4 I'm sure. I had a pretty good low-stress today, and my medication is up as I said.
> I think my Dad hinted, "a young female hooker in a Jackie Chan movie." I don't think that's too inaccurate.

On Wednesday, April 26, 2023 at 3:02:54 PM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> On Wednesday, April 26, 2023 at 2:40:33 PM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > On Wednesday, April 26, 2023 at 3:33:23 AM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > On Wednesday, April 26, 2023 at 3:30:55 AM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > On Wednesday, April 26, 2023 at 3:13:58 AM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > On Wednesday, April 26, 2023 at 3:01:10 AM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > > On Wednesday, April 26, 2023 at 2:30:18 AM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > > > On Wednesday, April 26, 2023 at 1:37:55 AM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > > > > On Wednesday, April 26, 2023 at 1:15:27 AM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > > > > > On Wednesday, April 26, 2023 at 12:27:28 AM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > > > > > > On Wednesday, April 26, 2023 at 12:24:49 AM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > > > > > > > On Wednesday, April 26, 2023 at 12:14:41 AM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > > > > > > > > On Wednesday, April 26, 2023 at 12:07:27 AM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > > > > > > > > > On Tuesday, April 25, 2023 at 11:55:15 PM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > On Tuesday, April 25, 2023 at 11:37:05 PM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > On Tuesday, April 25, 2023 at 11:01:56 PM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > On Tuesday, April 25, 2023 at 11:01:04 PM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > On Tuesday, April 25, 2023 at 11:00:25 PM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > https://www.cnn.com/2023/01/24/us/how-many-mass-shootings-2023-dg-xpn/index.html
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > You have already killed 219 people this year. How many more will you kill?
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I suspect the malware is going to stop my Python from working.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Maybe I will start to write more psychologically potent posts, maybe I'll write fiction, see if that will change things and help me get out of here.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I'm taking tomorrow off for sure though..
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Do you want *anything* rational at all, or just human suffering Christmas tree ornaments?
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > You idiots are sick.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > At this point, one really good question is: If someone foreign *really wanted* to set off a nuclear bomb somewhere in the USA, what force, exactly would stop them?
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I don't think there is one any more.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > OK I'm gonna be calm now and relax and enjoy myself.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7IzD4gI1Cs4
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > So, yeah, I found out about Jenny Slate from the Westfield skit, great idea, you can call me Manson. Maybe famous people cannot email me due to email issues...so I don't have to be angry.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > So yeah, I think she is lying about smoking pot. Maybe A Shawkat was lying too, I don't know. I've gotta do this one a time here.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Here's the thing: I have investigated and researched "being in your 30's," by being my 30's. As it turns out, there is a special thing called "The Chips Limit," which I actually discovered just today and which is not the same thing as The Tipping Point, and ...yeah I am really handsome, not literally a dentist, I'll date you, sure...so the thing is that you definitely *cannot* eat 20 chips (Harvest Cheddar) in ...is that improv?...it...could be...and yeah I am handsome enough, I'm getting there, getting thinner...so yeah you cannot actually eat 20 Harvest Cheddar Sun Chips in your 30's and feel good about it, I checked. I think the right "chips limit" is somewhere between 10 and 15 chips.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I don't get the "anyone take me home and put me in a box in a basement" part...am I being honored for being a good critical thinker, reader, and listener? TRL? TLDR, dazzled? Yeah I'm dazzling. Thanks for noticing.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I think Jenny Slate is my type except for the making up elaborate lies thing.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I am good at art, I can be!
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I have watched Venom. I'm very cultured and political too, I didn't listen to the Eminem thing at the end because I'm so liberal and tolerant.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I don't know anything about the "Tootsie Roll" limit.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > I just decided to change my mind at look at Jennifer Shahade's Twitter again.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > https://twitter.com/jenshahade
> > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > I like that she accepted my request to apparently not mention me. Thanks. At this point, I don't mind if JS wants to mention me again if she is reading this...I don't mind if I am not mentioned at all again. I like that I asked for a reasonable request and was complied with.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > Is it actually over in April? Maybe it is not. I am not complaining about Ms. Shahde. Also, btw, when I was 9 years old, I got written up in the Maryland chess club (or Maryland chess something) news letter...I was rated like 1000 or 1100, and at a tournament, I beat a man who was maybe in his 40's who was rated like 1600, and the Maryland newsletter wrote about my game. That was neat...I wasn't seen as an up and coming star then though.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > Also, my math-driven chess theories have come along. I might still get back into playing chess someday.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > Additionally, regarding this comment:
> > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > "The part that surprised me the most is how much he enjoyed the drama and excitement of it all. It even made losing tolerable."
> > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > I can't tell if she is expressing some sort of anger about the deaths of the two women...I can't gauge whatever hints or implications are within this, or if she is angry, that is not even close to being anything like a strength of mine yet, I haven't socialized in over a decade...I can only confidently take the comment at close to face value. I don't think I *enjoyed* the drama much...I was stimulated by it very mildly, it was not very dramatic to me. I enjoy certain kinds of drama. The attention I paid is intended as, "I do not want to get in trouble for not saying something and explaining myself clearly, since I just 'bombed Israel' in a way that I claim was legal, moral, and self-defense, and also killed two innocent people." I don't think I *enjoyed* the drama...I debate well, I can go on and on about issues, *finish up making the point and finish strong*--the phrase "finish strong" came from the 3 miles runs at UMW Rugby and I never saw Steven van der Briel there and I am not him. It is like, if you are typing something, and you have a homework assignment, you'd better do it right...that is why I may sound involved or eagerly pursuing something, which is closer to an "A" as in "not an F in some people's eyes who do not see things as I do and do not speak to me." If I enjoyed the drama of explaining why I did something that likely caused two people to die, I enjoyed it about as much as an internet debate with someone I don't agree with. I err on the side of verbosity. I want people to feel that they do understand how I am thinking and feeling clearly and that I am being genuine, so that my own fear, of being fooled by overly subtle/tricky fake people, isn't something I put others through. I have used lots of science/math ideas in my writing at least in the past. I don't want people to feel uncomfortable with that. To me, it would be *refreshing* to have someone take my concerns into account that attentively...maybe others roll their eyes, and I don't know how deep the eye-rolling at everything I value in other people's behavior and conduct goes, since I don't really know any people in terms of conversing with them any more. I know a King Charles Cavalier Spaniel and I talk a little bit to a nurse practitioner once a month, other than that, I would appear to be banned from socializing by bad guys.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > Is it over in April??? I really do hope so. I'm sure I'll be digging around somewhere nearby, still desperately trying to find out when this nonsense ends! Reading hints and "cracking fakeness/subtlety codes", including normal/appropriate ones, is not my strength...I can't tell which of my own preferences and models for other people's behavior are seen or lame or are inaccurate models of how other people tend to think, interact, and prefer to be treated these days...e.g., I hadn't thought about consent until 2014, and now it is a key part of how I interact with others, and yet as an "interaction shirt" so to speak, I have never worn it in a real conversation with another person who was not simply in character as that woman at Kroger that I fell in love with and then extremely quickly fell out of love with after 10 days was--it was a very sophisticated, very hurtful fake, and my psych doctor wasn't helping.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > Anyway, I am feeling pretty OK. It was kind of not fun to write that post again, but the music I am listening to is OK.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > Also, for those wondering about me psychologically, I have a very good plan to improve my ability to be perceptive about other people and their feelings, especially including sincerity and being genuine, using some basic psychology ideas I thought of. Most of my STEM ideas, which are for publication and for other people, are "industrial strength STEM ideas" that are based largely on mathematical formalisms. Sometimes, I find it worthwhile, as in this case, to focus on less formal ideas that will help me as a sort of "not even biological but real-world guide" to things..
> > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > Also, now that I'm worried about my email...as I sort of expected, I never got a reply from Professor Sipser regarding my malware-and-research-related email. I wonder if he did email me back but the message was shot down? The time before last, I didn't receive his message also...that was years ago, it was just another one of my P vs. NP questions. Professor has only ever not responded to emails me that I have sent those two times; in the past, I was quite impressed with him and liked him a lot not that I knew him well, and he once sent me an unpublished paper he had written about P vs. NP when I was an undergraduate student. I believe I started emailing him in either 2007 or 2008...I remember when I was hit by a car on Nov 20, 2007, crossing the street going from the UMW apartments (like dorm rooms off the main campus for the students) to the main campus of UMW--I was going either to the math/CS academic building, Trinkle, or to the library (I think it was that one), to some light studying related task--that the last thing I remembered before I blacked out and forgot everything else, rather amusingly, was that I had just realized that my extremely simple approach to P = NP didn't work, because I hadn't realized at the time that my mistake was believing that NP = coNP in some argument I was considering. Clearly, I have made *extremely tremendous* progress since then!
> > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > I think Michael Sipser is probably not evil...it is very difficult to sort through my "paranoia processing"--I think that thought disorders are more about processing issues, rather than "pure extremeness issues," i.e., I'm not "too paranoid," I have "paranoia-related processing issues," where I'll get some "danger-related theory" and either be way too naive and "un-aroused" in the right way, or I'll be quite aroused enough but feeling insanely stressed out and unsure of what's true, or extremely aroused about the wrong thing to focus on.
> > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > So anyway, I'll end this post now I guess. I don't have much else to say. I am going to get better at hints and assessing others' moods when I'm back to normal...probably, I'll do great with socializing anyway, but *the feeling of continual improvement* at socializing would make me feel better about my previous *very serious perceptiveness errors* that were truly for real and scary/upsetting...next time, I'll be less likely to be wrong...and maybe it will help me impress women I date more too in the future, better to err on the side of trying to being too skilled at understanding others.
> > > > > > > > > > > > The top lesson of the day is, which I drew my own attention to recently is:
> > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > Sometimes, if you treat others as you want to be treated, and try to be attentive to everything they want, and try to grow up and listen to past criticisms about you having been annoying or unpleasant, and you really try to consider how to treat someone else right and fairly and properly, if you go all out to please the person, the person might *still* find you *extremely irritating*, and the person might not admit it. Maybe "repulsive" in a way is better than "irritating"; most healthy people don't get all that irritated in normal social situations where the other person isn't trying...it is just that some people have very sensitive preferences in socializing--I really am not too sensitive like that, I like most people who aren't mean or "hiding an evil backstabber personality" behind a smile, I can't stand dealing with such malicious people these days--and unless you use your mind and ideas--maybe you should develop a "psych theory/tool" to help you understand others better, that can be helpful--to try to get a better sense of others' wants and preferences including when interacting, including ones they're not even aware of, and ones they wouldn't advertise, maybe for fear of being rude or causing a hassle to someone else.
> > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > In general, you should assume that if you talk to someone for 15 seconds once a month, they won't find that annoying if they're healthy and you are not a bad person. Being willing to go away when asked and respect consent attentively is very smart, because people don't need to go to "DEFCON 20" because they feel trapped by you and don't know what to do about their inability to get rid of you...probably, judging from JRB's horrible conduct with me, he and Obama have problems with "trapping" people who sabotage them quite subtly (probably Jay-Z, I wouldn't be surprised at all, and I'm very allowed to mention the issue), and that is related to how improperly they're dealing with me.
> > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > If someone seems enthusiastic about spending more time with you, then that is probably a good cue that they like you, unless the person has a possible hidden alternate motive or finds you so disgusting and so disgustingly amusing that he/she wants to have fun doing a fake-out around you as some sort of mean and inappropriate satire.
> > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > Those are just basic, non-intense-STEMmy thoughts for now.
> > > > > > > > > > > So yeah, I can't tell if celebrity people who mentioned me are unable to email me. Some of the flirty women, including the indecent exposure women, from the past probably know my name...can they email me?
> > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > In case you can't tell, it is very hurtful and upsetting to have, e.g., Jenny Slate and other very pretty female celebrities mention me on the news or in their performances, and act like they would like to date and / or befriend or speak to me, and then at the end of the day--I think I am out--they are just kidding. That is really mean and hurtful, and I know I'm going good places in life in my future with my career and improvements, but I have worked, with some great success (!!), at calming down with my anger and spiteful, intentionally insulting and provocative comments, but I don't understand why people would think that is a good idea to do that to me. In the past, I was less able to be stably in touch with reality than other people, and as of now, given another med increase (last one? I hope so....), I am now even more stable. I was stable enough to talk before, it is very disappointing and hurtful to me that people were so mean to me for no reason, and I will be OK, but I do not like this kind of treatment, and it is clear that I am a very nice and *worthwhile*, to emphasize that word person.
> > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > I think at this point, sounding a little bit whiny is better than sounding/feeling too angry for me, at this point, healthwise.
> > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > Here's looking at asking for better treatment, from everyone, in the future! Try to be nice and treat everyone you know, especially including me, with an appropriately high level of respect! Try being nice, even I know that's how you make friends the most effectively!
> > > > > > > > > > I'm pretty sure I'll be able to get my Python project to work effectively, from this computer, soon enough. I'll take some time off before I do it...the idea looks great and an appropriate solution to the specific problem. I'm going to take at least one more day off though, maybe 2 days...I want to feel already relaxed and calm and ready to just work and get some things done, without feeling stressed out. As I often do, I'll probably plan out a schedule and outline for doing all of my work the night before I actually start doing it.
> > > > > > > > > A nice thought: Probably, one or two things that I *would* like to be true are actually true. E.g., probably, people have tried to email me and my messages are getting zapped by the bad guys and their malware.
> > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > I think I need to get a password added again, or the wind-tunnel vector bots might figure out how to login to my computer and do things on it when I'm not around or sleeping.
> > > > > > > > Someone at Walmart hinted at something that might be true: DELETE EJ.
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > Maybe that means: Delete Python IDLE, and also delete Notepad++.
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > What could have happened is, when I opened a .txt file with Notepad++, Notepad++ wrote out to the file and changed it because it had access to it, and then it displayed the file as it was supposed to look. Then, Notepad++ wound up having some code in it that led to the alternate hidden version of the file to basically be doing a "SQL injection attack" to Notepad++, where it exploits some sort of vulnerability in Windows that makes changes to how MS Edge works. I might need to reinstall some of my programs, and even redownload them. The files should be fine if I only use:
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > Notepad
> > > > > > > > MS Edge
> > > > > > > > and Python without IDLE
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > Possibly, Notepad++ didn't do it on purpose, but their website got infected with malware. No, I don't know if the malware tries to use my computer to launch attacks, and no, VA State police and FBI didn't write back.
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > I think my email is stopped by government crooks, not malware.
> > > > > > > OK...I wound up reinstalling Notepad++.
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > I spent a lot of time changing the permissions, esp. denying write permissions for all users I could, for each of the three main programs I'm using: Notepad++, Python, and MSFT Edge.
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > I think I will wind up being fine. I think I will basically solve the problem by building my own HTML-reader browser program in Python, and it will just read HTML source from pages and sometimes submit form/other data.
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > This whole set of hoops to jump through is just stupid. I'll be fine soon, at least that's what I think right now.
> > > > > > So, it looks like the typos are here to stay. I just spent time changing all the permissions of the programs I want to run on Windows. This'll have to do for now.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > I know how to get around source code detection efforts by the bad guys--I guess I hadn't planned to share that but it's late at night, and it's not a big deal, so why not?--and I'll be sure to mind what sorts of inputs Python programs actually take.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > It's sure to be a pain...I saw the MS Windows window change as though affected by malware, so yes, it's in the operating system and/or hardware, for sure.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > I think the typos will stay in, and I'll have to figure out how reliable Python will be.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > The bad guys have been making more coyote sounds and plane noises outside to wake me up, but I haven't gone to sleep yet. They just made a bug-like insect nose near my microwave. It doesn't matter, but they are crazy and so incredibly evil and right-wing. They think they look good--they are so clueless socially, they know how to be fake, but they have *no idea* most people interact with each other when being normal. They are even behind me, and I just figured some new things out based on psych treatment and I have been isolated for over 10 years.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > I think my email is "strangled" too.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Thoughts on these sorts of nutty tactics, Jake Stenzler and Mark Krempley? Surely you didn't approve of doing this to me and quietly support it all along while working alongside me as a "co-worker" at ABSG? I wonder whom you work with now.
> > > > > Probably, I should cool it with my vigorous attempt to circumvent the malware.
> > > > >
> > > > > The thing is, if the bad guys have the *capability* to halt my trades on Ameritrade, then they surely have used it. They surely sought and gained that capability, so they're not going to let my program work right.
> > > > >
> > > > > I guess I'll have to wait. Is it over in 12 days? Maybe 12 weeks? I really hope so--I don't know what else to do!
> > > > >
> > > > > I might focus on chess in the upcoming days.
> > > > I think a good way to put it, using Mr. Richardson's clearance metaphor, is, "It turns out, I don't have the right 'clearance' to fix the computing issues and socializing issues that I have, and I don't know who does or how to reach that person."
> > > >
> > > > I would imagine it is in someone else's hands now. I don't know what needs to be done next, I shouldn't need such high-power help to get out of a mess like this--I've been overtly in serious distress and totally innocent for over 10 years, where is the "armada" of people--the legion of people--that ought to be here to show up and surround the bad guys and help me get out of this, and/or protest???
> > > Maybe, though, even without the clearance, I can sort of get around the issue...like in the past, I could socialize with Marie Coates sometimes, I just had to avoid certain areas, and with the choking and satellite harassment, I just have to avoid non-blocked windows, so maybe with the malware thing, I *can* trade stocks, but I just have to be careful about it.
> > >
> > > I'll find out in a few days when I come back to it.
> > >
> > > Tonight I'm going to listen to a little more music and then go to bed by 4 I'm sure. I had a pretty good low-stress today, and my medication is up as I said.
> > I think my Dad hinted, "a young female hooker in a Jackie Chan movie." I don't think that's too inaccurate.
> OK, today is my day off, but I just figured out how to deal with the malware issue! I'll probably work on it tomorrow.
>
> I slept a lot last night...didn't wake up really until after 2, and yes, the bad guys keep using noises to wake me up in the middle of the night. I don't like it, but they and their backers *do* pay a steep price for it, so someday, it will simply have made an example of them and conditioned their successors at trying to mess with me to see what they would be up against and how hurt they would be if they assaulted me again.

On Wednesday, April 26, 2023 at 3:04:32 PM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> On Wednesday, April 26, 2023 at 3:02:54 PM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > On Wednesday, April 26, 2023 at 2:40:33 PM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > On Wednesday, April 26, 2023 at 3:33:23 AM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > On Wednesday, April 26, 2023 at 3:30:55 AM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > On Wednesday, April 26, 2023 at 3:13:58 AM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > > On Wednesday, April 26, 2023 at 3:01:10 AM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > > > On Wednesday, April 26, 2023 at 2:30:18 AM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > > > > On Wednesday, April 26, 2023 at 1:37:55 AM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > > > > > On Wednesday, April 26, 2023 at 1:15:27 AM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > > > > > > On Wednesday, April 26, 2023 at 12:27:28 AM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > > > > > > > On Wednesday, April 26, 2023 at 12:24:49 AM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > > > > > > > > On Wednesday, April 26, 2023 at 12:14:41 AM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > > > > > > > > > On Wednesday, April 26, 2023 at 12:07:27 AM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > On Tuesday, April 25, 2023 at 11:55:15 PM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > On Tuesday, April 25, 2023 at 11:37:05 PM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > On Tuesday, April 25, 2023 at 11:01:56 PM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > On Tuesday, April 25, 2023 at 11:01:04 PM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > On Tuesday, April 25, 2023 at 11:00:25 PM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > https://www.cnn.com/2023/01/24/us/how-many-mass-shootings-2023-dg-xpn/index.html
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > You have already killed 219 people this year. How many more will you kill?
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I suspect the malware is going to stop my Python from working.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Maybe I will start to write more psychologically potent posts, maybe I'll write fiction, see if that will change things and help me get out of here.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I'm taking tomorrow off for sure though.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Do you want *anything* rational at all, or just human suffering Christmas tree ornaments?
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > You idiots are sick.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > At this point, one really good question is: If someone foreign *really wanted* to set off a nuclear bomb somewhere in the USA, what force, exactly would stop them?
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I don't think there is one any more.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > OK I'm gonna be calm now and relax and enjoy myself.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7IzD4gI1Cs4
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > So, yeah, I found out about Jenny Slate from the Westfield skit, great idea, you can call me Manson. Maybe famous people cannot email me due to email issues...so I don't have to be angry.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > So yeah, I think she is lying about smoking pot. Maybe A Shawkat was lying too, I don't know. I've gotta do this one a time here.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Here's the thing: I have investigated and researched "being in your 30's," by being my 30's. As it turns out, there is a special thing called "The Chips Limit," which I actually discovered just today and which is not the same thing as The Tipping Point, and ...yeah I am really handsome, not literally a dentist, I'll date you, sure...so the thing is that you definitely *cannot* eat 20 chips (Harvest Cheddar) in ...is that improv?...it...could be...and yeah I am handsome enough, I'm getting there, getting thinner...so yeah you cannot actually eat 20 Harvest Cheddar Sun Chips in your 30's and feel good about it, I checked. I think the right "chips limit" is somewhere between 10 and 15 chips.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I don't get the "anyone take me home and put me in a box in a basement" part...am I being honored for being a good critical thinker, reader, and listener? TRL? TLDR, dazzled? Yeah I'm dazzling. Thanks for noticing.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I think Jenny Slate is my type except for the making up elaborate lies thing.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I am good at art, I can be!
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I have watched Venom. I'm very cultured and political too, I didn't listen to the Eminem thing at the end because I'm so liberal and tolerant.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I don't know anything about the "Tootsie Roll" limit.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I just decided to change my mind at look at Jennifer Shahade's Twitter again.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > https://twitter.com/jenshahade
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I like that she accepted my request to apparently not mention me. Thanks. At this point, I don't mind if JS wants to mention me again if she is reading this...I don't mind if I am not mentioned at all again. I like that I asked for a reasonable request and was complied with.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Is it actually over in April? Maybe it is not.. I am not complaining about Ms. Shahde. Also, btw, when I was 9 years old, I got written up in the Maryland chess club (or Maryland chess something) news letter...I was rated like 1000 or 1100, and at a tournament, I beat a man who was maybe in his 40's who was rated like 1600, and the Maryland newsletter wrote about my game. That was neat...I wasn't seen as an up and coming star then though.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Also, my math-driven chess theories have come along. I might still get back into playing chess someday.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Additionally, regarding this comment:
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > "The part that surprised me the most is how much he enjoyed the drama and excitement of it all. It even made losing tolerable."
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I can't tell if she is expressing some sort of anger about the deaths of the two women...I can't gauge whatever hints or implications are within this, or if she is angry, that is not even close to being anything like a strength of mine yet, I haven't socialized in over a decade...I can only confidently take the comment at close to face value. I don't think I *enjoyed* the drama much...I was stimulated by it very mildly, it was not very dramatic to me. I enjoy certain kinds of drama. The attention I paid is intended as, "I do not want to get in trouble for not saying something and explaining myself clearly, since I just 'bombed Israel' in a way that I claim was legal, moral, and self-defense, and also killed two innocent people." I don't think I *enjoyed* the drama...I debate well, I can go on and on about issues, *finish up making the point and finish strong*--the phrase "finish strong" came from the 3 miles runs at UMW Rugby and I never saw Steven van der Briel there and I am not him. It is like, if you are typing something, and you have a homework assignment, you'd better do it right...that is why I may sound involved or eagerly pursuing something, which is closer to an "A" as in "not an F in some people's eyes who do not see things as I do and do not speak to me." If I enjoyed the drama of explaining why I did something that likely caused two people to die, I enjoyed it about as much as an internet debate with someone I don't agree with. I err on the side of verbosity. I want people to feel that they do understand how I am thinking and feeling clearly and that I am being genuine, so that my own fear, of being fooled by overly subtle/tricky fake people, isn't something I put others through. I have used lots of science/math ideas in my writing at least in the past. I don't want people to feel uncomfortable with that. To me, it would be *refreshing* to have someone take my concerns into account that attentively...maybe others roll their eyes, and I don't know how deep the eye-rolling at everything I value in other people's behavior and conduct goes, since I don't really know any people in terms of conversing with them any more. I know a King Charles Cavalier Spaniel and I talk a little bit to a nurse practitioner once a month, other than that, I would appear to be banned from socializing by bad guys.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Is it over in April??? I really do hope so. I'm sure I'll be digging around somewhere nearby, still desperately trying to find out when this nonsense ends! Reading hints and "cracking fakeness/subtlety codes", including normal/appropriate ones, is not my strength...I can't tell which of my own preferences and models for other people's behavior are seen or lame or are inaccurate models of how other people tend to think, interact, and prefer to be treated these days...e.g., I hadn't thought about consent until 2014, and now it is a key part of how I interact with others, and yet as an "interaction shirt" so to speak, I have never worn it in a real conversation with another person who was not simply in character as that woman at Kroger that I fell in love with and then extremely quickly fell out of love with after 10 days was--it was a very sophisticated, very hurtful fake, and my psych doctor wasn't helping.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Anyway, I am feeling pretty OK. It was kind of not fun to write that post again, but the music I am listening to is OK.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > Also, for those wondering about me psychologically, I have a very good plan to improve my ability to be perceptive about other people and their feelings, especially including sincerity and being genuine, using some basic psychology ideas I thought of. Most of my STEM ideas, which are for publication and for other people, are "industrial strength STEM ideas" that are based largely on mathematical formalisms. Sometimes, I find it worthwhile, as in this case, to focus on less formal ideas that will help me as a sort of "not even biological but real-world guide" to things.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > Also, now that I'm worried about my email...as I sort of expected, I never got a reply from Professor Sipser regarding my malware-and-research-related email. I wonder if he did email me back but the message was shot down? The time before last, I didn't receive his message also...that was years ago, it was just another one of my P vs. NP questions. Professor has only ever not responded to emails me that I have sent those two times; in the past, I was quite impressed with him and liked him a lot not that I knew him well, and he once sent me an unpublished paper he had written about P vs. NP when I was an undergraduate student. I believe I started emailing him in either 2007 or 2008...I remember when I was hit by a car on Nov 20, 2007, crossing the street going from the UMW apartments (like dorm rooms off the main campus for the students) to the main campus of UMW--I was going either to the math/CS academic building, Trinkle, or to the library (I think it was that one), to some light studying related task--that the last thing I remembered before I blacked out and forgot everything else, rather amusingly, was that I had just realized that my extremely simple approach to P = NP didn't work, because I hadn't realized at the time that my mistake was believing that NP = coNP in some argument I was considering. Clearly, I have made *extremely tremendous* progress since then!
> > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > I think Michael Sipser is probably not evil...it is very difficult to sort through my "paranoia processing"--I think that thought disorders are more about processing issues, rather than "pure extremeness issues," i.e., I'm not "too paranoid," I have "paranoia-related processing issues," where I'll get some "danger-related theory" and either be way too naive and "un-aroused" in the right way, or I'll be quite aroused enough but feeling insanely stressed out and unsure of what's true, or extremely aroused about the wrong thing to focus on.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > So anyway, I'll end this post now I guess. I don't have much else to say. I am going to get better at hints and assessing others' moods when I'm back to normal...probably, I'll do great with socializing anyway, but *the feeling of continual improvement* at socializing would make me feel better about my previous *very serious perceptiveness errors* that were truly for real and scary/upsetting...next time, I'll be less likely to be wrong...and maybe it will help me impress women I date more too in the future, better to err on the side of trying to being too skilled at understanding others.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > The top lesson of the day is, which I drew my own attention to recently is:
> > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > Sometimes, if you treat others as you want to be treated, and try to be attentive to everything they want, and try to grow up and listen to past criticisms about you having been annoying or unpleasant, and you really try to consider how to treat someone else right and fairly and properly, if you go all out to please the person, the person might *still* find you *extremely irritating*, and the person might not admit it. Maybe "repulsive" in a way is better than "irritating"; most healthy people don't get all that irritated in normal social situations where the other person isn't trying...it is just that some people have very sensitive preferences in socializing--I really am not too sensitive like that, I like most people who aren't mean or "hiding an evil backstabber personality" behind a smile, I can't stand dealing with such malicious people these days--and unless you use your mind and ideas--maybe you should develop a "psych theory/tool" to help you understand others better, that can be helpful--to try to get a better sense of others' wants and preferences including when interacting, including ones they're not even aware of, and ones they wouldn't advertise, maybe for fear of being rude or causing a hassle to someone else.
> > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > In general, you should assume that if you talk to someone for 15 seconds once a month, they won't find that annoying if they're healthy and you are not a bad person. Being willing to go away when asked and respect consent attentively is very smart, because people don't need to go to "DEFCON 20" because they feel trapped by you and don't know what to do about their inability to get rid of you...probably, judging from JRB's horrible conduct with me, he and Obama have problems with "trapping" people who sabotage them quite subtly (probably Jay-Z, I wouldn't be surprised at all, and I'm very allowed to mention the issue), and that is related to how improperly they're dealing with me.
> > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > If someone seems enthusiastic about spending more time with you, then that is probably a good cue that they like you, unless the person has a possible hidden alternate motive or finds you so disgusting and so disgustingly amusing that he/she wants to have fun doing a fake-out around you as some sort of mean and inappropriate satire.
> > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > Those are just basic, non-intense-STEMmy thoughts for now.
> > > > > > > > > > > > So yeah, I can't tell if celebrity people who mentioned me are unable to email me. Some of the flirty women, including the indecent exposure women, from the past probably know my name...can they email me?
> > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > In case you can't tell, it is very hurtful and upsetting to have, e.g., Jenny Slate and other very pretty female celebrities mention me on the news or in their performances, and act like they would like to date and / or befriend or speak to me, and then at the end of the day--I think I am out--they are just kidding. That is really mean and hurtful, and I know I'm going good places in life in my future with my career and improvements, but I have worked, with some great success (!!), at calming down with my anger and spiteful, intentionally insulting and provocative comments, but I don't understand why people would think that is a good idea to do that to me. In the past, I was less able to be stably in touch with reality than other people, and as of now, given another med increase (last one? I hope so....), I am now even more stable. I was stable enough to talk before, it is very disappointing and hurtful to me that people were so mean to me for no reason, and I will be OK, but I do not like this kind of treatment, and it is clear that I am a very nice and *worthwhile*, to emphasize that word person.
> > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > I think at this point, sounding a little bit whiny is better than sounding/feeling too angry for me, at this point, healthwise..
> > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > Here's looking at asking for better treatment, from everyone, in the future! Try to be nice and treat everyone you know, especially including me, with an appropriately high level of respect! Try being nice, even I know that's how you make friends the most effectively!
> > > > > > > > > > > I'm pretty sure I'll be able to get my Python project to work effectively, from this computer, soon enough. I'll take some time off before I do it...the idea looks great and an appropriate solution to the specific problem. I'm going to take at least one more day off though, maybe 2 days...I want to feel already relaxed and calm and ready to just work and get some things done, without feeling stressed out. As I often do, I'll probably plan out a schedule and outline for doing all of my work the night before I actually start doing it.
> > > > > > > > > > A nice thought: Probably, one or two things that I *would* like to be true are actually true. E.g., probably, people have tried to email me and my messages are getting zapped by the bad guys and their malware.
> > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > I think I need to get a password added again, or the wind-tunnel vector bots might figure out how to login to my computer and do things on it when I'm not around or sleeping.
> > > > > > > > > Someone at Walmart hinted at something that might be true: DELETE EJ.
> > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > Maybe that means: Delete Python IDLE, and also delete Notepad++.
> > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > What could have happened is, when I opened a .txt file with Notepad++, Notepad++ wrote out to the file and changed it because it had access to it, and then it displayed the file as it was supposed to look. Then, Notepad++ wound up having some code in it that led to the alternate hidden version of the file to basically be doing a "SQL injection attack" to Notepad++, where it exploits some sort of vulnerability in Windows that makes changes to how MS Edge works. I might need to reinstall some of my programs, and even redownload them. The files should be fine if I only use:
> > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > Notepad
> > > > > > > > > MS Edge
> > > > > > > > > and Python without IDLE
> > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > Possibly, Notepad++ didn't do it on purpose, but their website got infected with malware. No, I don't know if the malware tries to use my computer to launch attacks, and no, VA State police and FBI didn't write back.
> > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > I think my email is stopped by government crooks, not malware.
> > > > > > > > OK...I wound up reinstalling Notepad++.
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > I spent a lot of time changing the permissions, esp. denying write permissions for all users I could, for each of the three main programs I'm using: Notepad++, Python, and MSFT Edge.
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > I think I will wind up being fine. I think I will basically solve the problem by building my own HTML-reader browser program in Python, and it will just read HTML source from pages and sometimes submit form/other data.
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > This whole set of hoops to jump through is just stupid. I'll be fine soon, at least that's what I think right now.
> > > > > > > So, it looks like the typos are here to stay. I just spent time changing all the permissions of the programs I want to run on Windows. This'll have to do for now.
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > I know how to get around source code detection efforts by the bad guys--I guess I hadn't planned to share that but it's late at night, and it's not a big deal, so why not?--and I'll be sure to mind what sorts of inputs Python programs actually take.
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > It's sure to be a pain...I saw the MS Windows window change as though affected by malware, so yes, it's in the operating system and/or hardware, for sure.
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > I think the typos will stay in, and I'll have to figure out how reliable Python will be.
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > The bad guys have been making more coyote sounds and plane noises outside to wake me up, but I haven't gone to sleep yet. They just made a bug-like insect nose near my microwave. It doesn't matter, but they are crazy and so incredibly evil and right-wing. They think they look good--they are so clueless socially, they know how to be fake, but they have *no idea* most people interact with each other when being normal. They are even behind me, and I just figured some new things out based on psych treatment and I have been isolated for over 10 years.
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > I think my email is "strangled" too.
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > Thoughts on these sorts of nutty tactics, Jake Stenzler and Mark Krempley? Surely you didn't approve of doing this to me and quietly support it all along while working alongside me as a "co-worker" at ABSG? I wonder whom you work with now.
> > > > > > Probably, I should cool it with my vigorous attempt to circumvent the malware.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > The thing is, if the bad guys have the *capability* to halt my trades on Ameritrade, then they surely have used it. They surely sought and gained that capability, so they're not going to let my program work right.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > I guess I'll have to wait. Is it over in 12 days? Maybe 12 weeks? I really hope so--I don't know what else to do!
> > > > > >
> > > > > > I might focus on chess in the upcoming days.
> > > > > I think a good way to put it, using Mr. Richardson's clearance metaphor, is, "It turns out, I don't have the right 'clearance' to fix the computing issues and socializing issues that I have, and I don't know who does or how to reach that person."
> > > > >
> > > > > I would imagine it is in someone else's hands now. I don't know what needs to be done next, I shouldn't need such high-power help to get out of a mess like this--I've been overtly in serious distress and totally innocent for over 10 years, where is the "armada" of people--the legion of people--that ought to be here to show up and surround the bad guys and help me get out of this, and/or protest???
> > > > Maybe, though, even without the clearance, I can sort of get around the issue...like in the past, I could socialize with Marie Coates sometimes, I just had to avoid certain areas, and with the choking and satellite harassment, I just have to avoid non-blocked windows, so maybe with the malware thing, I *can* trade stocks, but I just have to be careful about it.
> > > >
> > > > I'll find out in a few days when I come back to it.
> > > >
> > > > Tonight I'm going to listen to a little more music and then go to bed by 4 I'm sure. I had a pretty good low-stress today, and my medication is up as I said.
> > > I think my Dad hinted, "a young female hooker in a Jackie Chan movie." I don't think that's too inaccurate.
> > OK, today is my day off, but I just figured out how to deal with the malware issue! I'll probably work on it tomorrow.
> >
> > I slept a lot last night...didn't wake up really until after 2, and yes, the bad guys keep using noises to wake me up in the middle of the night. I don't like it, but they and their backers *do* pay a steep price for it, so someday, it will simply have made an example of them and conditioned their successors at trying to mess with me to see what they would be up against and how hurt they would be if they assaulted me again.
> And I don't know if emails to me are shot down...maybe? It could be that there are some famous people who are innocent who are on similar lists and held unable to use phone/email communications to talk to other people without messages getting shot down in some cases. One possibility: What if Heath Ledger repeatedly *tried* to get in touch with a doctor, but he and Maggie Gyllehnhaal were both on "the list" for being in a Bush satire, and MG was innocent and both of them had blocked communications? It could be true.

On Wednesday, April 26, 2023 at 3:07:15 PM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> On Wednesday, April 26, 2023 at 3:04:32 PM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > On Wednesday, April 26, 2023 at 3:02:54 PM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > On Wednesday, April 26, 2023 at 2:40:33 PM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > On Wednesday, April 26, 2023 at 3:33:23 AM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > On Wednesday, April 26, 2023 at 3:30:55 AM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > > On Wednesday, April 26, 2023 at 3:13:58 AM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > > > On Wednesday, April 26, 2023 at 3:01:10 AM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > > > > On Wednesday, April 26, 2023 at 2:30:18 AM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > > > > > On Wednesday, April 26, 2023 at 1:37:55 AM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > > > > > > On Wednesday, April 26, 2023 at 1:15:27 AM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > > > > > > > On Wednesday, April 26, 2023 at 12:27:28 AM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > > > > > > > > On Wednesday, April 26, 2023 at 12:24:49 AM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > > > > > > > > > On Wednesday, April 26, 2023 at 12:14:41 AM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > On Wednesday, April 26, 2023 at 12:07:27 AM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > On Tuesday, April 25, 2023 at 11:55:15 PM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > On Tuesday, April 25, 2023 at 11:37:05 PM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > On Tuesday, April 25, 2023 at 11:01:56 PM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > On Tuesday, April 25, 2023 at 11:01:04 PM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > On Tuesday, April 25, 2023 at 11:00:25 PM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > https://www.cnn.com/2023/01/24/us/how-many-mass-shootings-2023-dg-xpn/index.html
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > You have already killed 219 people this year. How many more will you kill?
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I suspect the malware is going to stop my Python from working.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Maybe I will start to write more psychologically potent posts, maybe I'll write fiction, see if that will change things and help me get out of here.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I'm taking tomorrow off for sure though.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Do you want *anything* rational at all, or just human suffering Christmas tree ornaments?
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > You idiots are sick.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > At this point, one really good question is: If someone foreign *really wanted* to set off a nuclear bomb somewhere in the USA, what force, exactly would stop them?
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I don't think there is one any more.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > OK I'm gonna be calm now and relax and enjoy myself.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7IzD4gI1Cs4
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > So, yeah, I found out about Jenny Slate from the Westfield skit, great idea, you can call me Manson. Maybe famous people cannot email me due to email issues...so I don't have to be angry.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > So yeah, I think she is lying about smoking pot. Maybe A Shawkat was lying too, I don't know. I've gotta do this one a time here.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Here's the thing: I have investigated and researched "being in your 30's," by being my 30's. As it turns out, there is a special thing called "The Chips Limit," which I actually discovered just today and which is not the same thing as The Tipping Point, and ...yeah I am really handsome, not literally a dentist, I'll date you, sure...so the thing is that you definitely *cannot* eat 20 chips (Harvest Cheddar) in ....is that improv?...it...could be...and yeah I am handsome enough, I'm getting there, getting thinner...so yeah you cannot actually eat 20 Harvest Cheddar Sun Chips in your 30's and feel good about it, I checked. I think the right "chips limit" is somewhere between 10 and 15 chips.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I don't get the "anyone take me home and put me in a box in a basement" part...am I being honored for being a good critical thinker, reader, and listener? TRL? TLDR, dazzled? Yeah I'm dazzling. Thanks for noticing.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I think Jenny Slate is my type except for the making up elaborate lies thing.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I am good at art, I can be!
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I have watched Venom. I'm very cultured and political too, I didn't listen to the Eminem thing at the end because I'm so liberal and tolerant.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I don't know anything about the "Tootsie Roll" limit.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I just decided to change my mind at look at Jennifer Shahade's Twitter again.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > https://twitter.com/jenshahade
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I like that she accepted my request to apparently not mention me. Thanks. At this point, I don't mind if JS wants to mention me again if she is reading this...I don't mind if I am not mentioned at all again. I like that I asked for a reasonable request and was complied with.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Is it actually over in April? Maybe it is not. I am not complaining about Ms. Shahde. Also, btw, when I was 9 years old, I got written up in the Maryland chess club (or Maryland chess something) news letter...I was rated like 1000 or 1100, and at a tournament, I beat a man who was maybe in his 40's who was rated like 1600, and the Maryland newsletter wrote about my game. That was neat...I wasn't seen as an up and coming star then though.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Also, my math-driven chess theories have come along. I might still get back into playing chess someday.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Additionally, regarding this comment:
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > "The part that surprised me the most is how much he enjoyed the drama and excitement of it all. It even made losing tolerable."
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I can't tell if she is expressing some sort of anger about the deaths of the two women...I can't gauge whatever hints or implications are within this, or if she is angry, that is not even close to being anything like a strength of mine yet, I haven't socialized in over a decade...I can only confidently take the comment at close to face value.. I don't think I *enjoyed* the drama much...I was stimulated by it very mildly, it was not very dramatic to me. I enjoy certain kinds of drama. The attention I paid is intended as, "I do not want to get in trouble for not saying something and explaining myself clearly, since I just 'bombed Israel' in a way that I claim was legal, moral, and self-defense, and also killed two innocent people." I don't think I *enjoyed* the drama...I debate well, I can go on and on about issues, *finish up making the point and finish strong*--the phrase "finish strong" came from the 3 miles runs at UMW Rugby and I never saw Steven van der Briel there and I am not him. It is like, if you are typing something, and you have a homework assignment, you'd better do it right...that is why I may sound involved or eagerly pursuing something, which is closer to an "A" as in "not an F in some people's eyes who do not see things as I do and do not speak to me." If I enjoyed the drama of explaining why I did something that likely caused two people to die, I enjoyed it about as much as an internet debate with someone I don't agree with. I err on the side of verbosity. I want people to feel that they do understand how I am thinking and feeling clearly and that I am being genuine, so that my own fear, of being fooled by overly subtle/tricky fake people, isn't something I put others through. I have used lots of science/math ideas in my writing at least in the past. I don't want people to feel uncomfortable with that. To me, it would be *refreshing* to have someone take my concerns into account that attentively...maybe others roll their eyes, and I don't know how deep the eye-rolling at everything I value in other people's behavior and conduct goes, since I don't really know any people in terms of conversing with them any more. I know a King Charles Cavalier Spaniel and I talk a little bit to a nurse practitioner once a month, other than that, I would appear to be banned from socializing by bad guys.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Is it over in April??? I really do hope so. I'm sure I'll be digging around somewhere nearby, still desperately trying to find out when this nonsense ends! Reading hints and "cracking fakeness/subtlety codes", including normal/appropriate ones, is not my strength...I can't tell which of my own preferences and models for other people's behavior are seen or lame or are inaccurate models of how other people tend to think, interact, and prefer to be treated these days...e.g., I hadn't thought about consent until 2014, and now it is a key part of how I interact with others, and yet as an "interaction shirt" so to speak, I have never worn it in a real conversation with another person who was not simply in character as that woman at Kroger that I fell in love with and then extremely quickly fell out of love with after 10 days was--it was a very sophisticated, very hurtful fake, and my psych doctor wasn't helping.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Anyway, I am feeling pretty OK. It was kind of not fun to write that post again, but the music I am listening to is OK..
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Also, for those wondering about me psychologically, I have a very good plan to improve my ability to be perceptive about other people and their feelings, especially including sincerity and being genuine, using some basic psychology ideas I thought of. Most of my STEM ideas, which are for publication and for other people, are "industrial strength STEM ideas" that are based largely on mathematical formalisms. Sometimes, I find it worthwhile, as in this case, to focus on less formal ideas that will help me as a sort of "not even biological but real-world guide" to things.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Also, now that I'm worried about my email...as I sort of expected, I never got a reply from Professor Sipser regarding my malware-and-research-related email. I wonder if he did email me back but the message was shot down? The time before last, I didn't receive his message also...that was years ago, it was just another one of my P vs. NP questions. Professor has only ever not responded to emails me that I have sent those two times; in the past, I was quite impressed with him and liked him a lot not that I knew him well, and he once sent me an unpublished paper he had written about P vs. NP when I was an undergraduate student. I believe I started emailing him in either 2007 or 2008...I remember when I was hit by a car on Nov 20, 2007, crossing the street going from the UMW apartments (like dorm rooms off the main campus for the students) to the main campus of UMW--I was going either to the math/CS academic building, Trinkle, or to the library (I think it was that one), to some light studying related task--that the last thing I remembered before I blacked out and forgot everything else, rather amusingly, was that I had just realized that my extremely simple approach to P = NP didn't work, because I hadn't realized at the time that my mistake was believing that NP = coNP in some argument I was considering. Clearly, I have made *extremely tremendous* progress since then!
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I think Michael Sipser is probably not evil....it is very difficult to sort through my "paranoia processing"--I think that thought disorders are more about processing issues, rather than "pure extremeness issues," i.e., I'm not "too paranoid," I have "paranoia-related processing issues," where I'll get some "danger-related theory" and either be way too naive and "un-aroused" in the right way, or I'll be quite aroused enough but feeling insanely stressed out and unsure of what's true, or extremely aroused about the wrong thing to focus on.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > So anyway, I'll end this post now I guess. I don't have much else to say. I am going to get better at hints and assessing others' moods when I'm back to normal...probably, I'll do great with socializing anyway, but *the feeling of continual improvement* at socializing would make me feel better about my previous *very serious perceptiveness errors* that were truly for real and scary/upsetting...next time, I'll be less likely to be wrong...and maybe it will help me impress women I date more too in the future, better to err on the side of trying to being too skilled at understanding others.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > The top lesson of the day is, which I drew my own attention to recently is:
> > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > Sometimes, if you treat others as you want to be treated, and try to be attentive to everything they want, and try to grow up and listen to past criticisms about you having been annoying or unpleasant, and you really try to consider how to treat someone else right and fairly and properly, if you go all out to please the person, the person might *still* find you *extremely irritating*, and the person might not admit it. Maybe "repulsive" in a way is better than "irritating"; most healthy people don't get all that irritated in normal social situations where the other person isn't trying...it is just that some people have very sensitive preferences in socializing--I really am not too sensitive like that, I like most people who aren't mean or "hiding an evil backstabber personality" behind a smile, I can't stand dealing with such malicious people these days--and unless you use your mind and ideas--maybe you should develop a "psych theory/tool" to help you understand others better, that can be helpful--to try to get a better sense of others' wants and preferences including when interacting, including ones they're not even aware of, and ones they wouldn't advertise, maybe for fear of being rude or causing a hassle to someone else.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > In general, you should assume that if you talk to someone for 15 seconds once a month, they won't find that annoying if they're healthy and you are not a bad person. Being willing to go away when asked and respect consent attentively is very smart, because people don't need to go to "DEFCON 20" because they feel trapped by you and don't know what to do about their inability to get rid of you...probably, judging from JRB's horrible conduct with me, he and Obama have problems with "trapping" people who sabotage them quite subtly (probably Jay-Z, I wouldn't be surprised at all, and I'm very allowed to mention the issue), and that is related to how improperly they're dealing with me.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > If someone seems enthusiastic about spending more time with you, then that is probably a good cue that they like you, unless the person has a possible hidden alternate motive or finds you so disgusting and so disgustingly amusing that he/she wants to have fun doing a fake-out around you as some sort of mean and inappropriate satire.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > Those are just basic, non-intense-STEMmy thoughts for now.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > So yeah, I can't tell if celebrity people who mentioned me are unable to email me. Some of the flirty women, including the indecent exposure women, from the past probably know my name...can they email me?
> > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > In case you can't tell, it is very hurtful and upsetting to have, e.g., Jenny Slate and other very pretty female celebrities mention me on the news or in their performances, and act like they would like to date and / or befriend or speak to me, and then at the end of the day--I think I am out--they are just kidding. That is really mean and hurtful, and I know I'm going good places in life in my future with my career and improvements, but I have worked, with some great success (!!), at calming down with my anger and spiteful, intentionally insulting and provocative comments, but I don't understand why people would think that is a good idea to do that to me. In the past, I was less able to be stably in touch with reality than other people, and as of now, given another med increase (last one? I hope so....), I am now even more stable. I was stable enough to talk before, it is very disappointing and hurtful to me that people were so mean to me for no reason, and I will be OK, but I do not like this kind of treatment, and it is clear that I am a very nice and *worthwhile*, to emphasize that word person.
> > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > I think at this point, sounding a little bit whiny is better than sounding/feeling too angry for me, at this point, healthwise.
> > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > Here's looking at asking for better treatment, from everyone, in the future! Try to be nice and treat everyone you know, especially including me, with an appropriately high level of respect! Try being nice, even I know that's how you make friends the most effectively!
> > > > > > > > > > > > I'm pretty sure I'll be able to get my Python project to work effectively, from this computer, soon enough. I'll take some time off before I do it...the idea looks great and an appropriate solution to the specific problem. I'm going to take at least one more day off though, maybe 2 days...I want to feel already relaxed and calm and ready to just work and get some things done, without feeling stressed out. As I often do, I'll probably plan out a schedule and outline for doing all of my work the night before I actually start doing it.
> > > > > > > > > > > A nice thought: Probably, one or two things that I *would* like to be true are actually true. E.g., probably, people have tried to email me and my messages are getting zapped by the bad guys and their malware.
> > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > I think I need to get a password added again, or the wind-tunnel vector bots might figure out how to login to my computer and do things on it when I'm not around or sleeping.
> > > > > > > > > > Someone at Walmart hinted at something that might be true: DELETE EJ.
> > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > Maybe that means: Delete Python IDLE, and also delete Notepad++.
> > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > What could have happened is, when I opened a .txt file with Notepad++, Notepad++ wrote out to the file and changed it because it had access to it, and then it displayed the file as it was supposed to look. Then, Notepad++ wound up having some code in it that led to the alternate hidden version of the file to basically be doing a "SQL injection attack" to Notepad++, where it exploits some sort of vulnerability in Windows that makes changes to how MS Edge works. I might need to reinstall some of my programs, and even redownload them. The files should be fine if I only use:
> > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > Notepad
> > > > > > > > > > MS Edge
> > > > > > > > > > and Python without IDLE
> > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > Possibly, Notepad++ didn't do it on purpose, but their website got infected with malware. No, I don't know if the malware tries to use my computer to launch attacks, and no, VA State police and FBI didn't write back.
> > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > I think my email is stopped by government crooks, not malware.
> > > > > > > > > OK...I wound up reinstalling Notepad++.
> > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > I spent a lot of time changing the permissions, esp. denying write permissions for all users I could, for each of the three main programs I'm using: Notepad++, Python, and MSFT Edge.
> > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > I think I will wind up being fine. I think I will basically solve the problem by building my own HTML-reader browser program in Python, and it will just read HTML source from pages and sometimes submit form/other data.
> > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > This whole set of hoops to jump through is just stupid. I'll be fine soon, at least that's what I think right now.
> > > > > > > > So, it looks like the typos are here to stay. I just spent time changing all the permissions of the programs I want to run on Windows. This'll have to do for now.
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > I know how to get around source code detection efforts by the bad guys--I guess I hadn't planned to share that but it's late at night, and it's not a big deal, so why not?--and I'll be sure to mind what sorts of inputs Python programs actually take.
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > It's sure to be a pain...I saw the MS Windows window change as though affected by malware, so yes, it's in the operating system and/or hardware, for sure.
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > I think the typos will stay in, and I'll have to figure out how reliable Python will be.
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > The bad guys have been making more coyote sounds and plane noises outside to wake me up, but I haven't gone to sleep yet. They just made a bug-like insect nose near my microwave. It doesn't matter, but they are crazy and so incredibly evil and right-wing. They think they look good--they are so clueless socially, they know how to be fake, but they have *no idea* most people interact with each other when being normal. They are even behind me, and I just figured some new things out based on psych treatment and I have been isolated for over 10 years.
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > I think my email is "strangled" too.
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > Thoughts on these sorts of nutty tactics, Jake Stenzler and Mark Krempley? Surely you didn't approve of doing this to me and quietly support it all along while working alongside me as a "co-worker" at ABSG? I wonder whom you work with now.
> > > > > > > Probably, I should cool it with my vigorous attempt to circumvent the malware.
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > The thing is, if the bad guys have the *capability* to halt my trades on Ameritrade, then they surely have used it. They surely sought and gained that capability, so they're not going to let my program work right.
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > I guess I'll have to wait. Is it over in 12 days? Maybe 12 weeks? I really hope so--I don't know what else to do!
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > I might focus on chess in the upcoming days.
> > > > > > I think a good way to put it, using Mr. Richardson's clearance metaphor, is, "It turns out, I don't have the right 'clearance' to fix the computing issues and socializing issues that I have, and I don't know who does or how to reach that person."
> > > > > >
> > > > > > I would imagine it is in someone else's hands now. I don't know what needs to be done next, I shouldn't need such high-power help to get out of a mess like this--I've been overtly in serious distress and totally innocent for over 10 years, where is the "armada" of people--the legion of people--that ought to be here to show up and surround the bad guys and help me get out of this, and/or protest???
> > > > > Maybe, though, even without the clearance, I can sort of get around the issue...like in the past, I could socialize with Marie Coates sometimes, I just had to avoid certain areas, and with the choking and satellite harassment, I just have to avoid non-blocked windows, so maybe with the malware thing, I *can* trade stocks, but I just have to be careful about it.
> > > > >
> > > > > I'll find out in a few days when I come back to it.
> > > > >
> > > > > Tonight I'm going to listen to a little more music and then go to bed by 4 I'm sure. I had a pretty good low-stress today, and my medication is up as I said.
> > > > I think my Dad hinted, "a young female hooker in a Jackie Chan movie." I don't think that's too inaccurate.
> > > OK, today is my day off, but I just figured out how to deal with the malware issue! I'll probably work on it tomorrow.
> > >
> > > I slept a lot last night...didn't wake up really until after 2, and yes, the bad guys keep using noises to wake me up in the middle of the night.. I don't like it, but they and their backers *do* pay a steep price for it, so someday, it will simply have made an example of them and conditioned their successors at trying to mess with me to see what they would be up against and how hurt they would be if they assaulted me again.
> > And I don't know if emails to me are shot down...maybe? It could be that there are some famous people who are innocent who are on similar lists and held unable to use phone/email communications to talk to other people without messages getting shot down in some cases. One possibility: What if Heath Ledger repeatedly *tried* to get in touch with a doctor, but he and Maggie Gyllehnhaal were both on "the list" for being in a Bush satire, and MG was innocent and both of them had blocked communications? It could be true.
> There are probably some "slave employees" who feel forced to stay at NSA due to knowing too much and having similar restrictions placed on them. They might feel that if they ever quit or didn't perform as desired, they might, already being on "the list" of communication blockings, be unable to do anything else. Probably, that has happened to some journalists, too. The hard challenge is to find out who is seriously scared of "the list" and who is just faking it. There is really no way for me to know at this point. The media should really take some chances and run the story...Katie Couric could already be "on the list," and waiting to be "leveled up" and attacked more by conservatives who can change her status on "the list."
>
> No, I had nothing to do with such things at NSA, I barely had any access to anything but however many problems I was asked to solve and what it was claimed it was related to. I won't share anything classified or definitely harmful, i.e., I won't share my contributions or any classified info I heard about, ever.

On Wednesday, April 26, 2023 at 3:24:52 PM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> On Wednesday, April 26, 2023 at 3:07:15 PM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > On Wednesday, April 26, 2023 at 3:04:32 PM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > On Wednesday, April 26, 2023 at 3:02:54 PM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > On Wednesday, April 26, 2023 at 2:40:33 PM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > On Wednesday, April 26, 2023 at 3:33:23 AM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > > On Wednesday, April 26, 2023 at 3:30:55 AM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > > > On Wednesday, April 26, 2023 at 3:13:58 AM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > > > > On Wednesday, April 26, 2023 at 3:01:10 AM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > > > > > On Wednesday, April 26, 2023 at 2:30:18 AM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > > > > > > On Wednesday, April 26, 2023 at 1:37:55 AM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > > > > > > > On Wednesday, April 26, 2023 at 1:15:27 AM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > > > > > > > > On Wednesday, April 26, 2023 at 12:27:28 AM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > > > > > > > > > On Wednesday, April 26, 2023 at 12:24:49 AM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > On Wednesday, April 26, 2023 at 12:14:41 AM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > On Wednesday, April 26, 2023 at 12:07:27 AM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > On Tuesday, April 25, 2023 at 11:55:15 PM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > On Tuesday, April 25, 2023 at 11:37:05 PM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > On Tuesday, April 25, 2023 at 11:01:56 PM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > On Tuesday, April 25, 2023 at 11:01:04 PM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > On Tuesday, April 25, 2023 at 11:00:25 PM UTC-4, Philip White wrote:
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > https://www.cnn.com/2023/01/24/us/how-many-mass-shootings-2023-dg-xpn/index.html
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > You have already killed 219 people this year. How many more will you kill?
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I suspect the malware is going to stop my Python from working.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Maybe I will start to write more psychologically potent posts, maybe I'll write fiction, see if that will change things and help me get out of here.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I'm taking tomorrow off for sure though.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Do you want *anything* rational at all, or just human suffering Christmas tree ornaments?
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > You idiots are sick.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > At this point, one really good question is: If someone foreign *really wanted* to set off a nuclear bomb somewhere in the USA, what force, exactly would stop them?
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I don't think there is one any more.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > OK I'm gonna be calm now and relax and enjoy myself.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7IzD4gI1Cs4
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > So, yeah, I found out about Jenny Slate from the Westfield skit, great idea, you can call me Manson. Maybe famous people cannot email me due to email issues...so I don't have to be angry.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > So yeah, I think she is lying about smoking pot. Maybe A Shawkat was lying too, I don't know. I've gotta do this one a time here.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Here's the thing: I have investigated and researched "being in your 30's," by being my 30's. As it turns out, there is a special thing called "The Chips Limit," which I actually discovered just today and which is not the same thing as The Tipping Point, and ...yeah I am really handsome, not literally a dentist, I'll date you, sure...so the thing is that you definitely *cannot* eat 20 chips (Harvest Cheddar) in ....is that improv?...it...could be...and yeah I am handsome enough, I'm getting there, getting thinner...so yeah you cannot actually eat 20 Harvest Cheddar Sun Chips in your 30's and feel good about it, I checked. I think the right "chips limit" is somewhere between 10 and 15 chips.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I don't get the "anyone take me home and put me in a box in a basement" part...am I being honored for being a good critical thinker, reader, and listener? TRL? TLDR, dazzled? Yeah I'm dazzling. Thanks for noticing.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I think Jenny Slate is my type except for the making up elaborate lies thing.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I am good at art, I can be!
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I have watched Venom. I'm very cultured and political too, I didn't listen to the Eminem thing at the end because I'm so liberal and tolerant.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I don't know anything about the "Tootsie Roll" limit.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I just decided to change my mind at look at Jennifer Shahade's Twitter again.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > https://twitter.com/jenshahade
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I like that she accepted my request to apparently not mention me. Thanks. At this point, I don't mind if JS wants to mention me again if she is reading this...I don't mind if I am not mentioned at all again. I like that I asked for a reasonable request and was complied with.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Is it actually over in April? Maybe it is not. I am not complaining about Ms. Shahde. Also, btw, when I was 9 years old, I got written up in the Maryland chess club (or Maryland chess something) news letter...I was rated like 1000 or 1100, and at a tournament, I beat a man who was maybe in his 40's who was rated like 1600, and the Maryland newsletter wrote about my game. That was neat...I wasn't seen as an up and coming star then though.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Also, my math-driven chess theories have come along. I might still get back into playing chess someday.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Additionally, regarding this comment:
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > "The part that surprised me the most is how much he enjoyed the drama and excitement of it all. It even made losing tolerable."
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I can't tell if she is expressing some sort of anger about the deaths of the two women...I can't gauge whatever hints or implications are within this, or if she is angry, that is not even close to being anything like a strength of mine yet, I haven't socialized in over a decade...I can only confidently take the comment at close to face value. I don't think I *enjoyed* the drama much...I was stimulated by it very mildly, it was not very dramatic to me. I enjoy certain kinds of drama. The attention I paid is intended as, "I do not want to get in trouble for not saying something and explaining myself clearly, since I just 'bombed Israel' in a way that I claim was legal, moral, and self-defense, and also killed two innocent people." I don't think I *enjoyed* the drama...I debate well, I can go on and on about issues, *finish up making the point and finish strong*--the phrase "finish strong" came from the 3 miles runs at UMW Rugby and I never saw Steven van der Briel there and I am not him. It is like, if you are typing something, and you have a homework assignment, you'd better do it right...that is why I may sound involved or eagerly pursuing something, which is closer to an "A" as in "not an F in some people's eyes who do not see things as I do and do not speak to me." If I enjoyed the drama of explaining why I did something that likely caused two people to die, I enjoyed it about as much as an internet debate with someone I don't agree with. I err on the side of verbosity. I want people to feel that they do understand how I am thinking and feeling clearly and that I am being genuine, so that my own fear, of being fooled by overly subtle/tricky fake people, isn't something I put others through. I have used lots of science/math ideas in my writing at least in the past. I don't want people to feel uncomfortable with that. To me, it would be *refreshing* to have someone take my concerns into account that attentively...maybe others roll their eyes, and I don't know how deep the eye-rolling at everything I value in other people's behavior and conduct goes, since I don't really know any people in terms of conversing with them any more. I know a King Charles Cavalier Spaniel and I talk a little bit to a nurse practitioner once a month, other than that, I would appear to be banned from socializing by bad guys.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Is it over in April??? I really do hope so. I'm sure I'll be digging around somewhere nearby, still desperately trying to find out when this nonsense ends! Reading hints and "cracking fakeness/subtlety codes", including normal/appropriate ones, is not my strength...I can't tell which of my own preferences and models for other people's behavior are seen or lame or are inaccurate models of how other people tend to think, interact, and prefer to be treated these days...e.g., I hadn't thought about consent until 2014, and now it is a key part of how I interact with others, and yet as an "interaction shirt" so to speak, I have never worn it in a real conversation with another person who was not simply in character as that woman at Kroger that I fell in love with and then extremely quickly fell out of love with after 10 days was--it was a very sophisticated, very hurtful fake, and my psych doctor wasn't helping.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Anyway, I am feeling pretty OK. It was kind of not fun to write that post again, but the music I am listening to is OK.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Also, for those wondering about me psychologically, I have a very good plan to improve my ability to be perceptive about other people and their feelings, especially including sincerity and being genuine, using some basic psychology ideas I thought of. Most of my STEM ideas, which are for publication and for other people, are "industrial strength STEM ideas" that are based largely on mathematical formalisms. Sometimes, I find it worthwhile, as in this case, to focus on less formal ideas that will help me as a sort of "not even biological but real-world guide" to things.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Also, now that I'm worried about my email....as I sort of expected, I never got a reply from Professor Sipser regarding my malware-and-research-related email. I wonder if he did email me back but the message was shot down? The time before last, I didn't receive his message also...that was years ago, it was just another one of my P vs. NP questions. Professor has only ever not responded to emails me that I have sent those two times; in the past, I was quite impressed with him and liked him a lot not that I knew him well, and he once sent me an unpublished paper he had written about P vs. NP when I was an undergraduate student. I believe I started emailing him in either 2007 or 2008...I remember when I was hit by a car on Nov 20, 2007, crossing the street going from the UMW apartments (like dorm rooms off the main campus for the students) to the main campus of UMW--I was going either to the math/CS academic building, Trinkle, or to the library (I think it was that one), to some light studying related task--that the last thing I remembered before I blacked out and forgot everything else, rather amusingly, was that I had just realized that my extremely simple approach to P = NP didn't work, because I hadn't realized at the time that my mistake was believing that NP = coNP in some argument I was considering. Clearly, I have made *extremely tremendous* progress since then!
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I think Michael Sipser is probably not evil....it is very difficult to sort through my "paranoia processing"--I think that thought disorders are more about processing issues, rather than "pure extremeness issues," i.e., I'm not "too paranoid," I have "paranoia-related processing issues," where I'll get some "danger-related theory" and either be way too naive and "un-aroused" in the right way, or I'll be quite aroused enough but feeling insanely stressed out and unsure of what's true, or extremely aroused about the wrong thing to focus on.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > So anyway, I'll end this post now I guess. I don't have much else to say. I am going to get better at hints and assessing others' moods when I'm back to normal...probably, I'll do great with socializing anyway, but *the feeling of continual improvement* at socializing would make me feel better about my previous *very serious perceptiveness errors* that were truly for real and scary/upsetting...next time, I'll be less likely to be wrong...and maybe it will help me impress women I date more too in the future, better to err on the side of trying to being too skilled at understanding others.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > The top lesson of the day is, which I drew my own attention to recently is:
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Sometimes, if you treat others as you want to be treated, and try to be attentive to everything they want, and try to grow up and listen to past criticisms about you having been annoying or unpleasant, and you really try to consider how to treat someone else right and fairly and properly, if you go all out to please the person, the person might *still* find you *extremely irritating*, and the person might not admit it. Maybe "repulsive" in a way is better than "irritating"; most healthy people don't get all that irritated in normal social situations where the other person isn't trying...it is just that some people have very sensitive preferences in socializing--I really am not too sensitive like that, I like most people who aren't mean or "hiding an evil backstabber personality" behind a smile, I can't stand dealing with such malicious people these days--and unless you use your mind and ideas--maybe you should develop a "psych theory/tool" to help you understand others better, that can be helpful--to try to get a better sense of others' wants and preferences including when interacting, including ones they're not even aware of, and ones they wouldn't advertise, maybe for fear of being rude or causing a hassle to someone else.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > In general, you should assume that if you talk to someone for 15 seconds once a month, they won't find that annoying if they're healthy and you are not a bad person. Being willing to go away when asked and respect consent attentively is very smart, because people don't need to go to "DEFCON 20" because they feel trapped by you and don't know what to do about their inability to get rid of you...probably, judging from JRB's horrible conduct with me, he and Obama have problems with "trapping" people who sabotage them quite subtly (probably Jay-Z, I wouldn't be surprised at all, and I'm very allowed to mention the issue), and that is related to how improperly they're dealing with me.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > If someone seems enthusiastic about spending more time with you, then that is probably a good cue that they like you, unless the person has a possible hidden alternate motive or finds you so disgusting and so disgustingly amusing that he/she wants to have fun doing a fake-out around you as some sort of mean and inappropriate satire.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Those are just basic, non-intense-STEMmy thoughts for now.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > So yeah, I can't tell if celebrity people who mentioned me are unable to email me. Some of the flirty women, including the indecent exposure women, from the past probably know my name...can they email me?
> > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > In case you can't tell, it is very hurtful and upsetting to have, e.g., Jenny Slate and other very pretty female celebrities mention me on the news or in their performances, and act like they would like to date and / or befriend or speak to me, and then at the end of the day--I think I am out--they are just kidding. That is really mean and hurtful, and I know I'm going good places in life in my future with my career and improvements, but I have worked, with some great success (!!), at calming down with my anger and spiteful, intentionally insulting and provocative comments, but I don't understand why people would think that is a good idea to do that to me. In the past, I was less able to be stably in touch with reality than other people, and as of now, given another med increase (last one? I hope so....), I am now even more stable. I was stable enough to talk before, it is very disappointing and hurtful to me that people were so mean to me for no reason, and I will be OK, but I do not like this kind of treatment, and it is clear that I am a very nice and *worthwhile*, to emphasize that word person.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > I think at this point, sounding a little bit whiny is better than sounding/feeling too angry for me, at this point, healthwise.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > Here's looking at asking for better treatment, from everyone, in the future! Try to be nice and treat everyone you know, especially including me, with an appropriately high level of respect! Try being nice, even I know that's how you make friends the most effectively!
> > > > > > > > > > > > > I'm pretty sure I'll be able to get my Python project to work effectively, from this computer, soon enough. I'll take some time off before I do it...the idea looks great and an appropriate solution to the specific problem. I'm going to take at least one more day off though, maybe 2 days...I want to feel already relaxed and calm and ready to just work and get some things done, without feeling stressed out. As I often do, I'll probably plan out a schedule and outline for doing all of my work the night before I actually start doing it.
> > > > > > > > > > > > A nice thought: Probably, one or two things that I *would* like to be true are actually true. E.g., probably, people have tried to email me and my messages are getting zapped by the bad guys and their malware.
> > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > I think I need to get a password added again, or the wind-tunnel vector bots might figure out how to login to my computer and do things on it when I'm not around or sleeping.
> > > > > > > > > > > Someone at Walmart hinted at something that might be true: DELETE EJ.
> > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > Maybe that means: Delete Python IDLE, and also delete Notepad++.
> > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > What could have happened is, when I opened a .txt file with Notepad++, Notepad++ wrote out to the file and changed it because it had access to it, and then it displayed the file as it was supposed to look. Then, Notepad++ wound up having some code in it that led to the alternate hidden version of the file to basically be doing a "SQL injection attack" to Notepad++, where it exploits some sort of vulnerability in Windows that makes changes to how MS Edge works. I might need to reinstall some of my programs, and even redownload them. The files should be fine if I only use:
> > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > Notepad
> > > > > > > > > > > MS Edge
> > > > > > > > > > > and Python without IDLE
> > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > Possibly, Notepad++ didn't do it on purpose, but their website got infected with malware. No, I don't know if the malware tries to use my computer to launch attacks, and no, VA State police and FBI didn't write back.
> > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > I think my email is stopped by government crooks, not malware.
> > > > > > > > > > OK...I wound up reinstalling Notepad++.
> > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > I spent a lot of time changing the permissions, esp. denying write permissions for all users I could, for each of the three main programs I'm using: Notepad++, Python, and MSFT Edge.
> > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > I think I will wind up being fine. I think I will basically solve the problem by building my own HTML-reader browser program in Python, and it will just read HTML source from pages and sometimes submit form/other data.
> > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > This whole set of hoops to jump through is just stupid. I'll be fine soon, at least that's what I think right now.
> > > > > > > > > So, it looks like the typos are here to stay. I just spent time changing all the permissions of the programs I want to run on Windows. This'll have to do for now.
> > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > I know how to get around source code detection efforts by the bad guys--I guess I hadn't planned to share that but it's late at night, and it's not a big deal, so why not?--and I'll be sure to mind what sorts of inputs Python programs actually take.
> > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > It's sure to be a pain...I saw the MS Windows window change as though affected by malware, so yes, it's in the operating system and/or hardware, for sure.
> > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > I think the typos will stay in, and I'll have to figure out how reliable Python will be.
> > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > The bad guys have been making more coyote sounds and plane noises outside to wake me up, but I haven't gone to sleep yet. They just made a bug-like insect nose near my microwave. It doesn't matter, but they are crazy and so incredibly evil and right-wing. They think they look good--they are so clueless socially, they know how to be fake, but they have *no idea* most people interact with each other when being normal. They are even behind me, and I just figured some new things out based on psych treatment and I have been isolated for over 10 years.
> > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > I think my email is "strangled" too.
> > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > Thoughts on these sorts of nutty tactics, Jake Stenzler and Mark Krempley? Surely you didn't approve of doing this to me and quietly support it all along while working alongside me as a "co-worker" at ABSG? I wonder whom you work with now.
> > > > > > > > Probably, I should cool it with my vigorous attempt to circumvent the malware.
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > The thing is, if the bad guys have the *capability* to halt my trades on Ameritrade, then they surely have used it. They surely sought and gained that capability, so they're not going to let my program work right.
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > I guess I'll have to wait. Is it over in 12 days? Maybe 12 weeks? I really hope so--I don't know what else to do!
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > I might focus on chess in the upcoming days.
> > > > > > > I think a good way to put it, using Mr. Richardson's clearance metaphor, is, "It turns out, I don't have the right 'clearance' to fix the computing issues and socializing issues that I have, and I don't know who does or how to reach that person."
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > I would imagine it is in someone else's hands now. I don't know what needs to be done next, I shouldn't need such high-power help to get out of a mess like this--I've been overtly in serious distress and totally innocent for over 10 years, where is the "armada" of people--the legion of people--that ought to be here to show up and surround the bad guys and help me get out of this, and/or protest???
> > > > > > Maybe, though, even without the clearance, I can sort of get around the issue...like in the past, I could socialize with Marie Coates sometimes, I just had to avoid certain areas, and with the choking and satellite harassment, I just have to avoid non-blocked windows, so maybe with the malware thing, I *can* trade stocks, but I just have to be careful about it.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > I'll find out in a few days when I come back to it.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Tonight I'm going to listen to a little more music and then go to bed by 4 I'm sure. I had a pretty good low-stress today, and my medication is up as I said.
> > > > > I think my Dad hinted, "a young female hooker in a Jackie Chan movie." I don't think that's too inaccurate.
> > > > OK, today is my day off, but I just figured out how to deal with the malware issue! I'll probably work on it tomorrow.
> > > >
> > > > I slept a lot last night...didn't wake up really until after 2, and yes, the bad guys keep using noises to wake me up in the middle of the night. I don't like it, but they and their backers *do* pay a steep price for it, so someday, it will simply have made an example of them and conditioned their successors at trying to mess with me to see what they would be up against and how hurt they would be if they assaulted me again.
> > > And I don't know if emails to me are shot down...maybe? It could be that there are some famous people who are innocent who are on similar lists and held unable to use phone/email communications to talk to other people without messages getting shot down in some cases. One possibility: What if Heath Ledger repeatedly *tried* to get in touch with a doctor, but he and Maggie Gyllehnhaal were both on "the list" for being in a Bush satire, and MG was innocent and both of them had blocked communications? It could be true..
> > There are probably some "slave employees" who feel forced to stay at NSA due to knowing too much and having similar restrictions placed on them. They might feel that if they ever quit or didn't perform as desired, they might, already being on "the list" of communication blockings, be unable to do anything else. Probably, that has happened to some journalists, too. The hard challenge is to find out who is seriously scared of "the list" and who is just faking it. There is really no way for me to know at this point. The media should really take some chances and run the story...Katie Couric could already be "on the list," and waiting to be "leveled up" and attacked more by conservatives who can change her status on "the list."
> >
> > No, I had nothing to do with such things at NSA, I barely had any access to anything but however many problems I was asked to solve and what it was claimed it was related to. I won't share anything classified or definitely harmful, i.e., I won't share my contributions or any classified info I heard about, ever.
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FtrOua-dSuQ
>
> Yeah, the black guy at the mall who spoke to me for a moment alluded to this movie: "Can you help this person?", about the dummy on the bottom level.. I don't know that he was bad; he came by to talk right after the black buy got killed in the mental hospital. I don't know if he was trying to help or set something up or what. He didn't bother me. All I know about him is that he was a black man, maybe middle aged. He didn't bother me, didn't seem to have too much to say or too much to hide. He smiled on the way back, when I was walking back from the other way and he was walking in that direction. I figure he wouldn't mind me repeating the encounter.