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interests / alt.humor.puns / Re: Crew

Re: Crew

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Date: Tue, 14 Jun 2022 10:58:16 -0700 (PDT)
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Subject: Re: Crew
From: donstock...@hotmail.com (Don Stockbauer)
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 by: Don Stockbauer - Tue, 14 Jun 2022 17:58 UTC

On Tuesday, June 14, 2022 at 4:49:44 AM UTC-5, Mike wrote:
> On Jun 13, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote
> (in article<d3207211-686d-4a82...@googlegroups.com>):
> > On Monday, June 13, 2022 at 4:37:18 AM UTC-5, Mike wrote:
> > > On Jun 12, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote
> > > (in article<cec00317-7843-40fe...@googlegroups.com>):
> > > > On Sunday, June 12, 2022 at 4:26:24 AM UTC-5, Mike wrote:
> > > > > On Jun 11, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote
> > > > > (in article<721bf627-d874-46df...@googlegroups.com>):
> > > > > > On Saturday, June 11, 2022 at 1:50:23 PM UTC-5, Mike wrote:
> > > > > > > On Jun 11, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote
> > > > > > > (in article<e605dae1-22b7-4dfb...@googlegroups.com>):
> > > > > > > > On Saturday, June 11, 2022 at 4:41:50 AM UTC-5, Mike wrote:
> > > > > > > > > On Jun 10, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote
> > > > > > > > > (in article<e4dcb6f2-f7b1-43b9...@googlegroups.com>):
> > > > > > > > > > On Friday, June 10, 2022 at 2:09:13 PM UTC-5, Mike wrote:
> > > > > > > > > > > On Jun 10, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote
> > > > > > > > > > > (in article<ef097eb4-51fc-4a69...@googlegroups.com>):
> > > > > > > > > > > > On Friday, June 10, 2022 at 11:43:00 AM UTC-5, Mike wrote:
> > > > > > > > > > > > > On Jun 10, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote
> > > > > > > > > > > > > (in article<36d0225c-4098-46ac...@googlegroups.com>):
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > On Friday, June 10, 2022 at 4:11:58 AM UTC-5, Mike wrote:
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > On Jun 9, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > (in article<cfa1aa79-342a-4076...@googlegroups.com>):
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > On Thursday, June 9, 2022 at 3:37:26 AM UTC-5, Mike wrote:
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > On Jun 8, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > (in article<b47990da-2b85-40a7...@googlegroups.com>):
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > But she does discharge her duties.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Michael LeVine
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > mle...@redshift.com
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Politics is the art of looking for trouble,
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > finding it everywhere,
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > diagnosing it incorrectly,
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > and applying the wrong remedies.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Groucho Marx
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > There was this Japanese soldier that deserted and he finally
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > decided
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > to
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > come
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > back and face the music and they gave him a dishonorable
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > discharge
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > so
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > he
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > went
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > home to his wife , He hadn't been home in several months so
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > well
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > ,
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > to
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > put
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > it
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > delicately, they were doing some foreplay and he was well I
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > guess
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > we'll
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > say
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > he was performing oral sex on her and he was performing it for
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > a
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > while
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > and
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > he
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > looked at her and said "Your most honorable discharge make me
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > gag "
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > and
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > then
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > his wife told him "Your dishonorable discharge make ME gag.”
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Time for him to make like Henny Youngman and tell you to “Tale
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > my
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > wife
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > --
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > please"
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Michael LeVine
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > mle...@redshift.com
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Politics is the art of looking for trouble,
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > finding it everywhere,
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > diagnosing it incorrectly,
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > and applying the wrong remedies.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Groucho Marx
> > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > OK OK I'm sorry I strayed from our purpose here
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > I was getting to be like barstock or whatever his name was so I
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > suppose
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > you
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > want something with a real pun okay
> > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > there was this guy who had an affair he was talking to his new
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > lady
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > friend
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > and he said you know what I can only achieve orgasm with women
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > who
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > look
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > exactly like my wife , so could you please fake my wife please?
> > > > > > > > > > > > > Then there waste patron to the brothel who always had two ladies.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > One
> > > > > > > > > > > > > Negro,
> > > > > > > > > > > > > the other Caucasian.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > When asked why the replied “As a retired bureaucrat it has
> > > > > > > > > > > > > become
> > > > > > > > > > > > > so
> > > > > > > > > > > > > ingrained in me
> > > > > > > > > > > > > that I cannot complete anything unless I have it in black and
> > > > > > > > > > > > > white."
> > > > > > > > > > > > > Michael LeVine
> > > > > > > > > > > > > mle...@redshift.com
> > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > Politics is the art of looking for trouble,
> > > > > > > > > > > > > finding it everywhere,
> > > > > > > > > > > > > diagnosing it incorrectly,
> > > > > > > > > > > > > and applying the wrong remedies.
> > > > > > > > > > > > > Groucho Marx
> > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > A 98-year-old man goes to a brothel . He asked the madame for the
> > > > > > > > > > > > youngest
> > > > > > > > > > > > and wildest lady they have . The madame says "Sir, you're 98 years
> > > > > > > > > > > > old
> > > > > > > > > > > > ,
> > > > > > > > > > > > I
> > > > > > > > > > > > doubt if you can even walk back to the room . I tell you old man ,
> > > > > > > > > > > > you've
> > > > > > > > > > > > had
> > > > > > > > > > > > it " and he said "Where do I pay”?
> > > > > > > > > > > Well, he did go there to get screwed.
> > > > > > > > > > > Michael LeVine
> > > > > > > > > > > mle...@redshift.com
> > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > Politics is the art of looking for trouble,
> > > > > > > > > > > finding it everywhere,
> > > > > > > > > > > diagnosing it incorrectly,
> > > > > > > > > > > and applying the wrong remedies.
> > > > > > > > > > > Groucho Marx
> > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > I tell you, I get screwed every time I try to take up with one of
> > > > > > > > > > these
> > > > > > > > > > 25
> > > > > > > > > > year old girls . no , wait a minute, I mean I don't get screwed.
> > > > > > > > > So you got screwed by not getting screwed----
> > > > > > > > > Michael LeVine
> > > > > > > > > mle...@redshift.com
> > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > Politics is the art of looking for trouble,
> > > > > > > > > finding it everywhere,
> > > > > > > > > diagnosing it incorrectly,
> > > > > > > > > and applying the wrong remedies.
> > > > > > > > > Groucho Marx
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > yes it's a direct contradiction
> > > > > > > > how do you deal with it ?
> > > > > > > > a direct contradiction implies that anything is possible but that's
> > > > > > > > merely
> > > > > > > > within the system it resides in.
> > > > > > > > basically that's within the screw system if you jump out of that system
> > > > > > > > to
> > > > > > > > higher level systems that contradiction does not cause a problem.
> > > > > > > That reminds me of a story I heard a long time ago, The Sisters of Mercy
> > > > > > > convent was out of money and needed a way to raise enough to keep
> > > > > > > operations.
> > > > > > > After much discussion it was decided to open a brothel.
> > > > > > > A customer came in, paid the fee and was shown thru a maze of corridors
> > > > > > > to a
> > > > > > > door.
> > > > > > > When he went thru the door he found himself outside in the ally looking
> > > > > > > at a
> > > > > > > sign on the wall saying “ You have been screwed by the sisters of
> > > > > > > Mercy"
> > > > > > > Michael LeVine
> > > > > > > mle...@redshift.com
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > Politics is the art of looking for trouble,
> > > > > > > finding it everywhere,
> > > > > > > diagnosing it incorrectly,
> > > > > > > and applying the wrong remedies.
> > > > > > > Groucho Marx
> > > > > >
> > > > > > yeah I kind of heard it the same involved a a man being enticed by big
> > > > > > billboards on the side of the road to visit Granny's whorehouse and then
> > > > > > Granny's warehouse turned out to be ismorphic to the a nun thing there
> > > > > > with
> > > > > > the maze and all that so it's pretty much the same I don't know why I
> > > > > > even
> > > > > > mentioned it except that I need something to fill in here
> > > > > Thats the problem, a really good one gets modified to fit different
> > > > > situations or not to insult
> > > > > a particular group so we end up with more variants than a virus.
> > > > > Michael LeVine
> > > > > mle...@redshift.com
> > > > >
> > > > > Politics is the art of looking for trouble,
> > > > > finding it everywhere,
> > > > > diagnosing it incorrectly,
> > > > > and applying the wrong remedies.
> > > > > Groucho Marx
> > > >
> > > > Well, variety among viruses is the spice of life. Until that one rises to
> > > > which humanity has no immunity, like the Andromeda strain. Created in a lab
> > > > in China.
> > > Which one the 1971 or 2008 version???
> > > Michael LeVine
> > > mle...@redshift.com
> > >
> > > Politics is the art of looking for trouble,
> > > finding it everywhere,
> > > diagnosing it incorrectly,
> > > and applying the wrong remedies.
> > > Groucho Marx
> >
> > I didn't know there was a 2008 version I'll have to get a copy of that
> Rent, its cheaper, better yet don’t bother. The first version was much
> better
> Michael LeVine
> mle...@redshift.com
>
> Politics is the art of looking for trouble,
> finding it everywhere,
> diagnosing it incorrectly,
> and applying the wrong remedies.
> Groucho Marx

The 2008 version was a TV movie , but I think I'll just look forward to it happening in real life. Sans the control of the virus.

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o Crew

By: Mike on Wed, 20 Apr 2022

265Mike
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