Recent Publications Science Learned Journals-- NATURE 17-19, AASS SCIENCE, NEW SCIENTIST, SCIENTIFIC AMERICAN, Princeton Univ Press, UCLA & Oxford student newspaper "Pandemic causing toilet paper be like sandpaper" by team antiscientists, bwr-fml, ..

Archimedes Plutonium
Jul 2, 2021, 10:02 AM 
to sci.math, sci.physics

Recent Publications Science Learned Journals-- NATURE 17-19, AASS SCIENCE, NEW SCIENTIST, SCIENTIFIC AMERICAN, Princeton Univ Press, "Pandemic causing toilet paper be like sandpaper" by team antiscientists, Alan Mackenzie, bwr-fml, Chris Thomasson, Dan Christensen, Earle Jones, Jan Burse, kibo Parry M, Mostowski Collapse, Ross, et al

Pandemic Causing Toilet Paper be like Sandpaper

Abstract: Notice a rash feeling as the arse cheeks rubb together? Peer through your legs bent forward in bathroom while placing a mirror near butt. The redness measures are 15cm, by 7.5cm in crack of arse (Uncle Al, 1996, NATURE, "Weaned hand to mouth spoon-fed"). One of our Colleagues in Boston, Kibo Parry noticed throughout 2020 of shitting 8 times a day with runs to the bathroom of Diaherra of Mouth, (foaming mouth syndrome) and using toilet paper 3 times the amount of 2019, that he developed the Dan Christensen "red arse".

Text: Bwr-fml conjecture that since the toilet paper industry is under enormous pressure to keep store shelves full of paper, that shortcuts were made in manufacturing with having sandpaper quality restrictions lifted.

To test this hypothesis in February-March, Mostowski Collapse, stopped using toilet paper altogether and washed the Asian method of water alone (careful to use just one hand). And to Mostowski, Mackenzie the dummy control group, to their surprise, the arse rash healed in 1.5 months time.

While Earle Jones and Chris Thomasson went and collected samples of toilet paper and ran them through Stanford Univ mass spectrometer, since no-one had used any of the machines at Stanford since AP told them the real electron of atoms was the muon, not the 0.5MeV particle. And Earle and Chris found that toilet paper since the pandemic contained alarming amounts of plastics, recycled plastics of water bottles, which in the Stanford electron microscope (henceforth renamed Dirac monopole microscope-- Scientific American -- AP King of Science dominating all the sciences, May, 2021)[1,2,3].

Ross and Jan Burse, test studied to see if microplastics can cut the fine structure of the glutis maxima, skin layer, as abrasives on the Roh scale of 21-901, (Sept 5, 2015, Nature). Study due to be completed and reported in the Google Search list of Terence Tao, Andrew Wiles, Thomas Hales, 5 million hits all sugar coated and no Counterpoint. Under the title "Baby Boy Genius, Wiles & Tao, proves plastic is abrasive and Fermat's Last Theorem.

Follow up studies due out by Princeton Univ Press, when they get time off from securing all Google Search hits of Wiles, Tao, Hales are propaganda with never a geometry proof of Fundamental Theorem of Calculus [ see AP's 2015 proof of FTC] and [King of Science, comedy]

Master in Dr. Who: Ha, ha,.... ha,,,... ha,,,, ha, ha,,,,,, hahaha

Archimedes Plutonium
Jul 3, 2021, 12:27 AM 
to sci.math, sci.physics
1>Recent Publications Science Learned Journals-- NATURE 17-19, AASS SCIENCE, NEW SCIENTIST, SCIENTIFIC AMERICAN, Princeton Univ Press, "Pandemic causing toilet paper be like sandpaper" by team antiscientists, Alan Mackenzie, bwr-fml, Chris Thomasson, Dan Christensen, Earle Jones, Jan Burse, kibo Parry M, Mostowski Collapse, Ross, et al
>
1> Pandemic Causing Toilet Paper be like Sandpaper
>
1> Abstract: Notice a rash feeling as the arse cheeks rubb together? Peer through your legs bent forward in bathroom while placing a mirror near butt. The redness measures are 15cm, by 7.5cm in crack of arse (Uncle Al, 1996, NATURE, "Weaned hand to mouth spoon-fed"). One of our Colleagues in Boston, Kibo Parry noticed throughout 2020 of shitting 8 times a day with runs to the bathroom of Diaherra of Mouth, (foaming mouth syndrome) and using toilet paper 3 times the amount of 2019, that he developed the Dan Christensen "red arse".
>
1> Text: Bwr-fml conjecture that since the toilet paper industry is under enormous pressure to keep store shelves full of paper, that shortcuts were made in manufacturing with having sandpaper quality restrictions lifted.
>

Questions for Dr. Bwr: how long does it take to wipe your arse the Asian method instead of dry toilet paper?

On Friday, July 2, 2021 at 2:20:54 PM UTC-5, bwr fml wrote:
> We can each imagine,
> But from long observation I tend to agree with you.
>

AP: you mean you observed arse wiping by others? I bet that was a bit embarrassing.

> There was a paper a year or two ago that found if subjects spend their
> time imagining how great the outcome of a project is that they have
> far less motivation to actually do the project,

AP: we know the outcome -- wash the arse with pouring water instead of wiping with dry sandpaper toilet paper. Especially that manufactured in covid times as being extra sandpaperish.

>they have already
> wallowed in their success and smeared it all over themselves and have
> less reason to spend the effort to actually do it.

AP: you mean Kibo Parry M. and Dan Christensen wallow in the water?

> Those who don't spend time imagining their success have a much
> greater likelihood of actually completing the work to get the outcome.
>

AP: yes, Bwr, is there a time-saving involved, for just two passes of water from a washcloth and the rubbing of one hand in the arse crack takes less than 1 minute, while I have seen and spent as much as 5 minutes with dry paper wipe.

>to actually select a project, write up the method,
> get credible people to seriously read that and help make it right,
> buy the instruments and equipment, get credible people to
> observe the experiment, all those are a huge hurtle that I doubt

AP: I disagree, most everyone wipes his/her arse every day.

Archimedes Plutonium
Jul 3, 2021, 3:27 PM
to sci.math, sci.physics

2> Recent Publications Science Learned Journals-- NATURE 17-19, AASS SCIENCE, NEW SCIENTIST, SCIENTIFIC AMERICAN, Princeton Univ Press, "Pandemic causing toilet paper be like sandpaper" by team antiscientists, Alan Mackenzie, bwr-fml, Chris Thomasson, Dan Christensen, Earle Jones, Jan Burse, kibo Parry M, Mostowski Collapse, Ross, et al
>
2> Pandemic Causing Toilet Paper be like Sandpaper
>
2> Abstract: Notice a rash feeling as the arse cheeks rubb together? Peer through your legs bent forward in bathroom while placing a mirror near butt. The redness measures are 15cm, by 7.5cm in crack of arse (Uncle Al, 1996, NATURE, "Weaned hand to mouth spoon-fed"). One of our Colleagues in Boston, Kibo Parry noticed throughout 2020 of shitting 8 times a day with runs to the bathroom of Diaherra of Mouth, (foaming mouth syndrome) and using toilet paper 3 times the amount of 2019, that he developed the Dan Christensen "red arse".
>
2> Text: Bwr-fml conjecture that since the toilet paper industry is under enormous pressure to keep store shelves full of paper, that shortcuts were made in manufacturing with having sandpaper quality restrictions lifted.
>
2> To test this hypothesis in February-March, Mostowski Collapse, stopped using toilet paper altogether and washed the Asian method of water alone (careful to use just one hand). And to Mostowski, Mackenzie the dummy control group, to their surprise, the arse rash healed in 1.5 months time.
>

Question by the Master of Dr. Who series: ha, ha, ha, ha. Jan Burse, how many trees do we save each year if everyone went to Asian-style-wipe-their-arse, that is, water only.

Jan Burse under his infantile pseudo-name (and he wonders why no-one likes the peckerhead)
Mostowski Collapse wrote:

Jun 28, 2021, 2:47:12 PM
to sci.math
> Breaking News: The infinite sum of Fibonacci Numbers is -1
> Just observe:
>
> 1 + z + 2z2 + 3z3 + 5z4 + ... = 1/(1-(z+z2))
>
> Now set z=1:
>
> 1 + 1 + 2 + 3 + 5 + .. = -1
>
> Q.E.D.

Master of Dr. Who: so your saying we save no trees but lose 1 more, than if we cut trees to make toilet paper.

Archimedes Plutonium
Jul 9, 2021, 1:21 AM
to sci.math

On Saturday, July 3, 2021 at 3:27:25 PM UTC-5, Archimedes Plutonium wrote:
> 2> Recent Publications Science Learned Journals-- NATURE 17-19, AASS SCIENCE, NEW SCIENTIST, SCIENTIFIC AMERICAN, Princeton Univ Press, "Pandemic causing toilet paper be like sandpaper" by team antiscientists, Alan Mackenzie, bwr-fml, Chris Thomasson, Dan Christensen, Earle Jones, Jan Burse, kibo Parry M, Mostowski Collapse, Ross, et al
> >
> 2> Pandemic Causing Toilet Paper be like Sandpaper
> >
> 2> Abstract: Notice a rash feeling as the arse cheeks rubb together? Peer through your legs bent forward in bathroom while placing a mirror near butt. The redness measures are 15cm, by 7.5cm in crack of arse (Uncle Al, 1996, NATURE, "Weaned hand to mouth spoon-fed"). One of our Colleagues in Boston, Kibo Parry noticed throughout 2020 of shitting 8 times a day with runs to the bathroom of Diaherra of Mouth, (foaming mouth syndrome) and using toilet paper 3 times the amount of 2019, that he developed the Dan Christensen "red arse".
> >

--3-- Demonstration.

Master in Dr. Who: can we get you to demonstrate the Asian method of wiping your arse, Kibo Parry M, Dan Christensen?

Kibo Parry M: sure, Earle Jones come let us demonstrate for Twitter, Facebook.

Master in Dr. Who: ha,,, ha ha ha ha, can you write it on the blackboard as you explain it Kibo.
On Thursday, July 8, 2021 at 8:24:38 PM UTC-5, Michael Moroney wrote:
"Splatter-Fart-Shittee"
> tarded:

Earle take a facecloth in your right hand, and bend over, in the bathtub with another bucket to catch the water. Now Earle, get the cloth soaking wet and place at the crack of your arse as to let some water dribble through the crack of your arse bent over and where the 3 gallon bucket will catch the dribbled water with feces. And with your left hand, Earle, rub up and down in your arse cheeks for any remaining feces stuck between your arse hairs and at the orifice of your anus. Should be about 3 wash clothes of water for the entire arse to be clean, far better of a job than the dry toilet paper that is more of a sandpaper.

                                    __
                               .-'         `-.              ,dP""Yb,
                             .'               `.          ,d"        "b,
                            /                   \        d'    _      `Y,
                           ;                     ;      8     8        `b
           ,'" ^  "`.     |                      |     `b,_,aP       P
         /           \     ;                     ;        """"        d'
        |             |     \                    /                 ,P"
         \           /      `.                .'       a,.__,aP"
          `.___ .'           `-._____.-'           `"""''
     @ @
      /   \
     | o o |  
 -U|--U--|U--

On Monday, October 21, 2019 at 1:29:49 PM UTC-5, Dan Christensen wrote:
> Are you ready, kids??? Bend over, er...

Master of Dr. Who: waah haha haha ha, so you need no toilet paper at all.

Kibo Parry M.: well, no, you can use a few sheets to mop up any water on your legs, but most importantly, never in the crack of your arse to inflame the sensitive skin. I use about 1 roll of toilet paper for 2 months time. Or, just a towel and no toilet paper. (Nature, Sep4, 1984)

Earle Jones who claims to be a Stanford alumni wrote:
Nov 18, 2020, 6:32:00 PM
>There is an opening for a potwasher at Hanover House on the Dartmouth campus. They are looking for someone with experience.

The Master in Dr. Who tv series: ha,ha,,ha,,ha, and will you take the job Earle?

Kibo Parry M.: One more item of research that our team completed was that we can save 88% of all tree forests because toilet paper is the main factor of trees sawed down. Our calculations after much midnight oil was this.

On Wednesday, December 6, 2017 at 12:30:22 AM UTC-6, Michael Moroney wrote:
 > Silly boy, that's off by more than 12.6 MeV, or 12% of the mass of a muon.
 > Hardly "exactly" 9 muons.
Wednesday, December 6, 2017 at 9:52:21 AM UTC-6, Michael Moroney wrote:
>  Or, 938.2720813/105.6583745 = 8.88024338572.  A proton is about the mass
 > of 8.88 muons, not 9. About 12% short. (New Scientist, 84-93, pp8-9)

The Master in Dr. Who: haha,,hahaha,,, ha, so you subtracted 12% from 100% to arrive at 88%. Ha,ha,,ha,haha.

   \\\^^^^^///
    = 0   0 =
-o00--( )--00o--

Kibo Research Jet Propulsion Lab, California