After suffering a disaster, the remaining crew of spaceship
Ark One must band together to survive.

Was this a rejected CW show? It was terrible!

I meant to write something more comprehesive but lost my notes or forgot.
Here's some random thoughts and my chat with anim8rfsk while I watched.

All the adults died, leaving the young adults in charge. How convenient. BTW,
who designed this ship to place everyone in rotating chmabers on the outside
of ship instead of the interior of the shaft portion, where they would be
protected from space debris. Who puts all the mission critical people
together, and why did there seem to be no chain of command or protocalls?

I am not going to comment on muscle atrophy or the gravity being all wrong.

I immediately noticed the stars zooming by in the windows. Ugh. I am sure the
stars outside would chnage position, but that's ridiculous!

A female lieutenant takes control and tells everyone they're a year away from
their destination and only have a month's worth of food that was intended for
consumption at their destination. Once again, who planned this voyage? Why
don't they put people back into hibernation?

A cute horticulturalist prodigy tells the girl in charge that he managed to
smuggle a big crate of super-dirt onto the Ark, in case their destination is
barren. Shouldn't he know that hydroponics is much more efficient and how he
plans on using that super-dirt to grow crops on a barren planet? Once again,
who planned this voyage?

For some stupid reason, their life support system warns you about leaks when
there's less than 20% of air left instead of immediately when it detects the
leak so the bulkheads aren't dropping while you're trying to fix them. As
soon as I saw the life support systems expert, I knew he was doomed as doomed
can be because he's older than everyone else. It turns out he stowed aboard
by replacing the real life support systems expert, instead of the guy who is
in charge of changing air filters and wouldn't be noticed. Hey, he said the
title of this ep!

Two of the crew exposition that they were forbidden to be on the ship because
they're lovers, so they lied about it. Why is it forbidden? Do they expect
people to have bastard babies or something? How did they hide it? Oh yeah,
why is she wearing a babushka?

For dramatic reasons, the only way to fix the life support was via spacewalk.
Making matters worse, no one was tethered and there were no ladders on the
exterior to hold onto. I hope those jetpacks don't malfunction or experience
operator error!

Meanwhile, a blond entitled bitch decides she's going to break water curfew
and take a shower in a deserted part of the ship. Why did they put police
crime scene tape over the door instead of locking it and why didn't they turn
off the water to the showers? Before she can take her secret non-naked
shower, she gets busted by a man who had been waiting until she was turning
on the water. Why was he loitering in the women's showers and why did he let
her get dressed instead of frog-marching her naked to the bridge as a lesson?
I can only assume the lingering shot of the water dripping from the not-
quite-off shower is going to cause a water shortage in the future.

Oh yeah, the boss girl killed the elder impersonator after he blabbed about
knowing her secret. Yeah, who didn't see that one coming?

***********************************************************************
So I just watched the pilot ep of The snARK

Anim8rfsk: It gets worse

Don't make me Troll-O-Meter you, bro!
OK, so I take it this was sppsd to be a CW show?

Anim8rfsk: I have no idea

All the adults conveniently died, leaving young adults in charge
Why do they even have rotating sections of the ship?

Anim8rfsk: Gravity. But they got it all wrong.

But but but the non-spinning parts have gravity too!

Anim8rfsk: And in several different directions

Anim8rfsk: And the gravity in the rotating sections goes the wrong way

I noticed the stars slowly wizzing by part.

Anim8rfsk: Yeah

Oh yeah, it [gravity] should be towards the outer wall

Anim8rfsk: And it ain�t. I think it goes every direction but that one.

So why don't they put people back into suspended animation?

Anim8rfsk: All the pods or smashed
Anim8rfsk: Or the rooms they were in

Oh, I never noticed the direction of gravity. There's no way to tell their
orientation
OK, I have to say it. Smeone didn;t plan the ship very well.

Anim8rfsk: There�s a shot in the pilot where they show them looking out the
windows in the Spinney sections, and the gravity is going towards the center
Anim8rfsk: They did the exact same shot on the 100

Why does your life support system warn you when there's less than 20% air in
the ship? ??

Anim8rfsk: And why does it say oxygen instead of air?

It should have said "we have a leak on the ship!" long before it became
critical
You know, so the bulkheads don't drop while you're trying to fix it

Anim8rfsk:
Oh, they have gravity on the Spinney sections that goes towards the center of
the ship and changes as it revolves. They also have gravity on the Spinney
sections that goes sideways. They have gravity in several places like the
bridge that goes Galactic south. I thought the gravity in that stupid dome
went galactic south, but they have several of those things all over the ship
so they apparently go to ships center access. But the gravity on their
shuttle those galactic south.

And the cute botanist who reminds me of someone should know who smuggled dirt
aboard should know that hydroponics is the best way to grow food

Anim8rfsk: Yeah, I thought of that when he started digging out the dirt

His reasoning that they would need dirt if their destination is barren won't
help

Anim8rfsk: Yeah, if he tries to seed the planet, he�s gonna run out of dirt
pretty quick

I guess the imposter had his throat slit because he blabbed her secret to her
with no witnesses.
I really hate that trope!

Anim8rfsk: They finally solved the mystery of why he got his throat slit this
week. Made no sense.

I am guessing when they get around to investigating, no one bothers to check
security logs, etc
I was worried that guy to told the girl he loved her would live to regret
blabbling that when he thought he was going to die. ??
The cute girl with glasses is going to get on my nerves real fast
I think there was something else... ??
Maybe the food and water situation. They weren't given extra in case
something like this happened?

Anim8rfsk: Well, they were supposed to sleep the whole way
Anim8rfsk: Except for like the last three days

Three weeks.

Anim8rfsk: K

And then eat what?

Anim8rfsk: By then they were supposed to be growing food on the planet

And for how long?

Anim8rfsk: I don�t know what the hell they thought they were going to do if
the planet wasn�t habitable

The cute guy did. ha ha
But once again, you do it with hydroponics
It also seemed weird that all the authority figures were in one place so they
all died

Anim8rfsk: Well, those were the fancy pods. First class. Like it would matter
to you if you were in a pod.

Did we see their pods?

Anim8rfsk: Yes
Anim8rfsk: Rows and rows and rows of them. Very 2001.

Oh, I thought those were the survicor pods

Anim8rfsk: Apparently they were in the Spinney section
Anim8rfsk: Everybody was in those pods
Anim8rfsk: But I think only the cheap seats got out in time

Pods were in both spinning sections
But like I said, they put all the mature experienced adults in one room.
That's bad planning.

Anim8rfsk: Oh, there�s no lack of bad planning

Or put them in the core, surrounded by the spinners

Anim8rfsk: They have one tiny shuttle that supposed to take everybody and
everything down to the planet

The interior part of ship
[The shuttle is ] Connected by a thether
I guess the shuttle works on bungee cord power?

Anim8rfsk: I�ve got no idea how the shuttle would work. It�s too small to put
most of the stuff they need to win there. And if they break it all down,
they�re gonna have to make literally thousands of trips.

Oh! When they did the spacewalk, they were untethered and not even wearing
magnetic boots and the exterior had nothing to hold onto.

Anim8rfsk: On a later space walk, they will Tether

"Let's just hope these jet packs work!"

Anim8rfsk: But also later, they will suddenly all get dick Tracy, wrist,
communicators

Was the leak they fixed caused by the space debris or was the ship designed
with its valves only accessable from outside the ship?
OH!

Anim8rfsk: I have no idea why you couldn�t fix the leak from the inside. It�s
obviously pointless to fix it from the outside.

When that bitch tried to sneak a shower, why didn't they lock the doors
instead of using crime scene tape and why not turn off the water to the
shwoer rooms?

Anim8rfsk: Yeah, and why didn�t they show her naked?
Anim8rfsk: Ian is really upset about that

I was so hoping the slavic security guard was going to frog march her to the
bridge without letting her get dressed.
Just to humilaite the entitled bitch

In article <tva04h$3jf7m$1@dont-email.me>, weberm@polaris.net wrote:
> After suffering a disaster, the remaining crew of spaceship
> Ark One must band together to survive.
>
>Was this a rejected CW show? It was terrible!
>
>I meant to write something more comprehesive but lost my notes or forgot.
>Here's some random thoughts and my chat with anim8rfsk while I watched.
>
>All the adults died, leaving the young adults in charge. How convenient. BTW,
>who designed this ship to place everyone in rotating chmabers on the outside
>of ship instead of the interior of the shaft portion, where they would be
>protected from space debris. Who puts all the mission critical people
>together, and why did there seem to be no chain of command or protocalls?
>
>I am not going to comment on muscle atrophy or the gravity being all wrong.
>
>I immediately noticed the stars zooming by in the windows. Ugh. I am sure the
>stars outside would chnage position, but that's ridiculous!
>
>A female lieutenant takes control and tells everyone they're a year away from
>their destination and only have a month's worth of food that was intended for
>consumption at their destination. Once again, who planned this voyage? Why
>don't they put people back into hibernation?
>
>A cute horticulturalist prodigy tells the girl in charge that he managed to
>smuggle a big crate of super-dirt onto the Ark, in case their destination is
>barren. Shouldn't he know that hydroponics is much more efficient and how he
>plans on using that super-dirt to grow crops on a barren planet? Once again,
>who planned this voyage?
>
>For some stupid reason, their life support system warns you about leaks when
>there's less than 20% of air left instead of immediately when it detects the
>leak so the bulkheads aren't dropping while you're trying to fix them. As
>soon as I saw the life support systems expert, I knew he was doomed as doomed
>can be because he's older than everyone else. It turns out he stowed aboard
>by replacing the real life support systems expert, instead of the guy who is
>in charge of changing air filters and wouldn't be noticed. Hey, he said the
>title of this ep!
>
>Two of the crew exposition that they were forbidden to be on the ship because
>they're lovers, so they lied about it. Why is it forbidden? Do they expect
>people to have bastard babies or something? How did they hide it? Oh yeah,
>why is she wearing a babushka?
>
>For dramatic reasons, the only way to fix the life support was via spacewalk.
>Making matters worse, no one was tethered and there were no ladders on the
>exterior to hold onto. I hope those jetpacks don't malfunction or experience
>operator error!
>
>Meanwhile, a blond entitled bitch decides she's going to break water curfew
>and take a shower in a deserted part of the ship. Why did they put police
>crime scene tape over the door instead of locking it and why didn't they turn
>off the water to the showers? Before she can take her secret non-naked
>shower, she gets busted by a man who had been waiting until she was turning
>on the water. Why was he loitering in the women's showers and why did he let
>her get dressed instead of frog-marching her naked to the bridge as a lesson?
>I can only assume the lingering shot of the water dripping from the not-
>quite-off shower is going to cause a water shortage in the future.
>
>Oh yeah, the boss girl killed the elder impersonator after he blabbed about
>knowing her secret. Yeah, who didn't see that one coming?

Watching people fail miserably trying to input passcodes during an emergency
will never grow old. God forbid there be a retinal or thumbprint option as
well.

Baldy McStoicPants has the competence and gravitas one appreciates in a Head
of Security and not only manages to get the door unlocked, but returns with a
helmet for the person directing the evacuation. Lt. Pissy whined about waking
up the captain after an ENTIRE CRYO BAY disintegrated. I think she's gonna
wanna know, buddy.

"My god, man, did you pay no attention in orientation?" Have you MET these
people, doc?

Aaand we start the "piss off, that's not my job" counter at 3 so far. Lt
Pissy, Lt. HotScot and now Imposter.

WHAT is with the kerchief on Babushka, ffs? Was the accent not thick enough to
scream East European? Or the outright declaration of nationality?

Chatty McTwitchy, SHUT UP. You give me a headache every time you open your
mouth. Farmer Angus is adorable.

You know, if I were an Impostor, I would try to lie low and not antagonize
everyone I talked to.

And again McStoic steps up to the plate and showerblocks Karen TitsOut. I
thought the drip of water from the shower head as they left might become
Chekov's Leak, but nothing came of it.

I like Lt Red putting Lt Pissy in his place in the farm - she's right; he had
a decent point but made an ass of himself grandstanding. He's That Guy in a
meeting that makes up stuff to complain about but never offers solutions, just
more blockers.

Trent MommyIssues is a canary in a space coal mine. Sensors haven't detected
the reduced O2 level yet, but his sensitive lungs can. Why has THE ENTIRE SHIP
lost oxygen? That's not a leak, that's explosive decompression in every
section. How many hours were they in a sealed room that they could have used
up allllll the oxygen?

Do I advance the Not My Job counter if it's Impostor again?

Aw, McStoic's first slip-up, losing a prisoner.

BSG Memorial Personnel Count: 142

In article <1232930111.697626207.335007.anim8rfsk-cox.net@news.easynews.com>,
anim8rfsk@cox.net wrote:
>previously on.
>I saw three more examples of them getting the gravity wrong.
>
>Somewhere between here and alpha Centauri, racing along at either less than
>the speed of light, or more than the speed of light, for some reason, it’s
>very hot. Also, if you turn off the engines, the ship stops dead in space.
>Let the headshaking begin.
>
>A space walk to see what’s hit them! A wheel section that spins for no
>apparent reason has stress fractures on the starboard arm supports (I’m not
>really sure how they’re defining starboard here) and pieces suddenly
>abruptly, and without warning, snap off and fly at right angles to any
>possible direction they should go!
>
>Lane, probably the top character I’m rooting for to die, takes an impact
>from a hunk of debris bigger than him to the helmet! A similar hunk of
>debris has speared Scholnick like a narwhale!
>
>In the sick bay, where it is inexplicably hot, the equally inexplicably,
>hot soul surviving doctor does what she can. Inexplicably cute girl with
>glasses enters and keeps talking and talking and talking and talking and
>talking and talking and talking until they tell her to shut the hell up and
>she leaves. Somewhere Ian is cheering.
>
>Multiple sequences of people running into each other in the endless
>hallways and telling each other stuff. The other one either knows or should
>know.
>
>Funeral ceremony with obligatory flashbacks. The only girl who can fix the
>water reclamation system spits on the lifeless body of Dr. Smith. Gardner
>guy stops them from throwing the bodies out the airlock because how could
>anybody trained for a multi year space mission be so stupid that that’s
>what they were going to do? After a lot of speechifying, they take a vote
>because that’s how command decisions are made in emergency survival
>situations and decide to toss the bodies in the composter.
>Only the Serbian android security goon votes against that plan.
>
>Weird flashback to three days before the launch where Ark One is inside the
>construction space station from Star Trek the motion picture and the crew
>is inside the rec room from Star Trek the motion picture and they keep
>saying how this is aboard Ark one but somehow this room didn’t make it to
>the series. A giant hologram of the guy in charge wishes them well. He
>looks like Robert Picardo. Now that would’ve been inspired piece of
>casting.
>
>Hot blonde is apparently a blogger and was put a board the ship to be the
>social media face of the program…
>But five days out they’re all going into cryo- sleep for the for five years
>of the mission, so what the hell is she going to do?
>
>Serbian robot security goon has picked up a hot assistant, whose apparent
>only function is to stand behind him, silently, striking hot assistant,
>security, goon poses.
>
>In the dome that has no reason to exist, gigantic pipes under high-pressure
>burst, shooting the 100 gallons of water into the air, where it lands upon
>the fledgling plants that are at all times kept brilliantly lit. All of
>this water is lost forever. I have no idea how or why. Where is it going?
>
>The only woman who can fix the water reclamation system is missing! They
>find her crying in her bunk. The scrawny ginger Captain can’t get a rise
>out of her. Luckily, the hot blonde is sleeping right next door and
>together they manage to convince her to get up before they all die.
>
>They talk about how they used to feed the birds together before there
>weren’t any birds anymore. Whatever is causing earth that is to become
>earth that was must’ve happened fairly abruptly I would think.
>
>Lane, who should die, refuses to provide an alibi for the time of the
>murder of Dr. Smith, to the android, Serbian security goon, or his hot
>assistant, who is just posing wildly behind him.
>
>Back in the dome of lost forever water they find a batarang in the mud. It
>must be the murder weapon! Dumped in a tank where it made it through the
>giant high-pressure lines to the tiny garden, causing them to burst! Since
>this can’t be traced to anyone, why did they bother? If this can be traced
>to someone isn’t the fact that it’s missing just as big a problem?
>
>The only woman who can fix the water reclamation unit returns to where they
>keep the water reclamation unit and without checking to see what progress
>has been made, or the status of anything proclaims to the people striving
>to get the water reclamation unit working:
>
>We have to get this water reclamation unit working!
>
>(No shit, Sherlock.)
>
>Stark, check the pressure on valve 42J!
>Novak, report on her intake two and four!
>
>(Because those out of nowhere instructions make perfect sense.)
>
>She proclaims only she can be in charge because she’s the most up-to-date
>on the ships engineering! Too bad this isn’t a ship component it’s just
>something they had in storage for planetary use that they dragged out.
>
>On the bridge a completely idiotic argument ensues over who should do
>another EVA.
>
>The batarang isn’t on the ships manifest. It can only mean that this is the
>murder weapon! So why not just leave it with the body?
>
>In the cafeteria, the ship’s thugs attack the only one who can grow them
>food because, well, they are the ship’s thugs. The security goon starts to
>pummel them, but he’s out numbered! His cute posing sidekick is nowhere to
>be found! Luckily, the scrawny gingeresque captain happens to be walking
>by, and effortlessly clobbers half a dozen guys twice her mass, mostly by
>hitting them over the head with food trays that must be made out of solid
>neutronium. Somewhere, BTR1701 quits watching in disgust.
>
>Hot assistant security gooness arrives in time to twist tie the bad guys
>wrists. The erstwhile ginger captain assigns the hot blonde celebrity face
>of the mission to talk to everybody and make them all happy. She’s the one
>to do it!
>
>Another EVA! This time they stop the wheel section from spinning. (why the
>hell is it spinning anyway, since everybody that was on that section is
>dead, and it’s uninhabitable?) Inside a hole in the fuselage, the space
>walker finds a whole bunch of hunks of quartz that look like diamonds! He
>decides to test their compressive strength to see if they really are
>diamonds by… squeezing one with his gloved hand.
>
>Yuh know guys just because you saw Clark Kent do this in a SUPERMAN comic
>book doesn’t mean it’s a good idea.
>
>The crushed diamond instantly disintegrates, and burns off spaceman Brice’s
>glove and fingers! He hurls himself at incredible speed towards the airlock
>door in another section (you can only re-pressurize the airlock from within
>the ship!)
>
>In the sick bay the sole surviving doctor tells Brice that although he’s
>got a Dr. Phibes hand, it will heal up just fine apparently all by itself.
>She says it’s a good thing the stuff that reacted with his hand and ate all
>the skin off his fingers doesn’t react with human skin or he wouldn’t have
>any skin left. Say what now?
>
>The quasi- ginger captain gives a bunch of people five hours sleep. The
>only woman who can fix the water reclamation device, and who clearly
>doesn’t know English as a first language, refuses to let her crew rest.
>
>2/3 of the acting Captains go to their cabin to get their five hours sleep
>but find the blonde has taken it over for her therapy sessions which
>include fabulous robes.
>
>One of them double bunks with the hot assistant security goon (I think),
>and hydroponics boy gives his bunk to the other one saying he can just go
>sleep in the mud in the dome there’s no reason for.
>
>They get the water reclamation unit running! But it only provides them
>enough water for two days. So in four days they’ll all be dead. Why? Is it
>going to fail?
>
>Because she drained the cooling system the engines shut down and the ship
>comes to a complete stop. Because that’s how it works.
>
>Ian, several scenes from the previews, weren’t actually in this weeks
>episode, including any mention of FTL drives. There is a scene they keep
>showing, though where in that cryo- pod chamber, the pods themselves are
>falling up…

Like the way they threw themselves into the hurtling space debris rather than
just flattening against the hull.

Let me add my vote to SHUT UP, CHATTY McTWITCHY!

So Trent MommyIssues is now Trent PoopSlinger?

Mr. Trust = Steve Jobs?

Man, Trent PoopSlinger was actually banging his mommy mentor?

Lt. Napoleon Pissy is just a child. Petulant, whiny about authority - he
practically stomped his tiny foot while crying over the officers' quarters.
And "You're not the boss of me!"? Really, Pissy?

In article
<1232930111.697626207.335007.anim8rfsk-cox.net@news.easynews.com>,
anim8rfsk <anim8rfsk@cox.net> wrote:

> S01E02 "Like It Touched the Sun"
>
> I saw three more examples of them getting the gravity wrong.
>
> Somewhere between here and Alpha Centauri, racing along at either less than
> the speed of light, or more than the speed of light, for some reason, it's
> very hot. Also, if you turn off the engines, the ship stops dead in space.

Yes! All they have to do is point themselves in the right direction,
fire up the engines until they get up to speed, then turn them off and
they'll keep going forever. They won't have to turn them on again until
they want to stop. Think of all the energy they could save!
>
> A space walk to see what's hit them! A wheel section that spins for no
> apparent reason has stress fractures on the starboard arm supports (I'm not
> really sure how they're defining starboard here) and pieces suddenly
> abruptly, and without warning, snap off and fly at right angles to any
> possible direction they should go!

And coincidentally right at the relatively tiny humans. The odds of that
happening by random chance have to rival lottery winning numbers.

> In the cafeteria, the ship's thugs attack the only one who can grow them
> food because, well, they are the ship’s thugs. The security goon starts to
> pummel them, but he's out numbered! His cute posing sidekick is nowhere to
> be found! Luckily, the scrawny gingeresque captain happens to be walking
> by, and effortlessly clobbers half a dozen guys twice her mass, mostly by
> hitting them over the head with food trays that must be made out of solid
> neutronium. Somewhere, BTR1701 quits watching in disgust.

She might be a Terminator.

> Another EVA! This time they stop the wheel section from spinning. (why the
> hell is it spinning anyway, since everybody that was on that section is
> dead, and it's uninhabitable?)

And its only function seems to be to house the hypersleep capsules, so
why would the crew need artificial gravity when their asleep in their
pods?

It's like they designed the ship so it has gravity where no one needs it
and doesn't have it where every would. (Except they do have it even
though they shouldn't.)

On Sat, 01 Apr 2023 20:37:04 -0700, BTR1701 <atropos@mac.com> wrote:

>In article
><1232930111.697626207.335007.anim8rfsk-cox.net@news.easynews.com>,
> anim8rfsk <anim8rfsk@cox.net> wrote:
>
>> S01E02 "Like It Touched the Sun"
>>
>> I saw three more examples of them getting the gravity wrong.
>>
>> Somewhere between here and Alpha Centauri, racing along at either less than
>> the speed of light, or more than the speed of light, for some reason, it's
>> very hot. Also, if you turn off the engines, the ship stops dead in space.
>
>Yes! All they have to do is point themselves in the right direction,
>fire up the engines until they get up to speed, then turn them off and
>they'll keep going forever. They won't have to turn them on again until
>they want to stop. Think of all the energy they could save!

No! That's physics as you know them, but in the Ark universe as
created by writer #1 the ship stops dead in space if the engines are
turned off. It's apparently an immediate stop but with no inertial
effects like people being slammed into walls at near light speed
because the physics in that universe is completely un-understandable
by us.

>> A space walk to see what's hit them! A wheel section that spins for no
>> apparent reason has stress fractures on the starboard arm supports (I'm not
>> really sure how they're defining starboard here) and pieces suddenly
>> abruptly, and without warning, snap off and fly at right angles to any
>> possible direction they should go!
>
>And coincidentally right at the relatively tiny humans. The odds of that
>happening by random chance have to rival lottery winning numbers.

What are the chances of a space traveling even in the same direction
coming upon another space ship also traveling in the same general
direction in the middle of space?

>> In the cafeteria, the ship's thugs attack the only one who can grow them
>> food because, well, they are the ship’s thugs. The security goon starts to
>> pummel them, but he's out numbered! His cute posing sidekick is nowhere to
>> be found! Luckily, the scrawny gingeresque captain happens to be walking
>> by, and effortlessly clobbers half a dozen guys twice her mass, mostly by
>> hitting them over the head with food trays that must be made out of solid
>> neutronium. Somewhere, BTR1701 quits watching in disgust.
>
>She might be a Terminator.

She's not a Terminator though we all suspected she might be, but she
isn't your average human.

>> Another EVA! This time they stop the wheel section from spinning. (why the
>> hell is it spinning anyway, since everybody that was on that section is
>> dead, and it's uninhabitable?)
>
>And its only function seems to be to house the hypersleep capsules, so
>why would the crew need artificial gravity when their asleep in their
>pods?
>
>It's like they designed the ship so it has gravity where no one needs it
>and doesn't have it where every would. (Except they do have it even
>though they shouldn't.)

That's a big assumption that someone actually designed this.

In article
<118058124.698231310.931721.anim8rfsk-cox.net@news.easynews.com>,
anim8rfsk <anim8rfsk@cox.net> wrote:

> The Ark, S01E03 "Get out and Push"
>
> Oh my God. The ginger robot is asking the only surviving navigator if he
> can find a closer star system for them to go to. There's not going to be
> anything closer than Proxima B. That's why they’re going there. It's the
> closest place to go!

It's literally in the name: proxima

> It's the Ark's drift that is moving it in front of the asteroid (which is
> in turn coming at them at tremendous speed). They are drifting? When did
> that start? And Shirley they must have some sort of thrusters. If they move
> the thing a mile in any direction, that should do it.

Hell, forget a mile. At that distance, moving it about 500 feet to
either side would do it.

> The idiot doctor (who slept through somebody stealing all her drugs on the
> other side of a curtain) says that she has to do a physical on the guy
> whose hand was eaten away by space diamonds because his file was corrupted.
> They have six hours to live. And she’s insisting she needs to do physicals.

For no other reason than she just wants the paperwork to be current.

Seriously.

> The odds of being hit by an asteroid just drifting in space are one in
> 700,326. Because that makes sense.

In deep space, between star systems? The odds are probably in the
quintillions.

> With four hours to go it occurs to them that they have shuttles. Lots and
> lots of shuttles, or just a few with unlimited fuel supplies since they
> were going to use them to take all 300 people down to the planet. Also,
> another shot of the ship from below shows there are domes all over the
> place facing in all different directions.

Each dome is a church or a mosque or a synagogue for the various
religions on board.

> Plan C is to blow a hole in the hull and let the escaping air pressure
> push them out of the way. Because they don't have airlocks I guess.

But they do have them! Dr. Phibes Hand launched himself into one when
the diamond digested his skin.

And it turns out the room they decided to blow up was the dudes' shower
room, so now all the guys get to shower with the nekkidly-nude girls. I
don't believe that was a coincidence.

> The missing power coupler is returned! Why did they think it would start
> without that? Luckily it attaches right behind the command chair so they
> don’t have to build another set. But the shuttle still won't start.
>
> Until the pilot kicks it! And it starts! And then it stops again.

The Millennium Falcon stays running when you start her like that.
Superior engineering.

> They blow a hole! Now that we can see the explosion from the outside, it
> comes out from what should have been the floor. But they stuck the bimb on
> the wall. Which means the've got gravity going at 90° to how it should.
> Also, I don't think I'd have blown a hole in the rotating section.
> Certainly not my first choice. And certainly not without calculations, as
> to when to set it off!

Yep, they didn't do any kind of timing with the rotation. Just slapped
the bimb on and hit the button. So the delta-V was literally some random
direction that could have easily made their situation worse, not better.

> OMG. Girl with glasses explains that the tiny shuttle can get the ark
> moving at the fantastic velocity of the comet because they’re in space.
> And I quote:
>
> "Lieutenant Brice is using the shuttle like a booster rocket to accelerate
> the Ark up to the comet's velocity"

Not only is the comet going faster than them, but it's going in the
opposite direction, so the shuttle would have stop them and then
accelerate them back up to speed parallel to the comet.

> The accelerating shuttle can only bring the ark up to 87% of the comet's
> incredible velocity. But that should be enough for the miles and miles of
> fueling hose to hook them together and drag the Ark up the rest of the way.

> When Bryce detached the shuttle from the ark, he accidentally pushed the
> Ark the other way, and now the incredible strain will tear the shuttle
> apart! But in the meantime, they are pumping water. I have no idea where
> they're getting water from because, you know, comet made of ice.

And they all immediately start drinking this water that came from an
interstellar body and could have god only knows what contaminants in
it-- everything from deadly chemicals to bacteria or viruses that could
melt them to the bone in minutes. But who cares? Just chug it on down
and jump in the shower and bathe in it. It'd serve them all right if
their insides abruptly switched places with their outsides.

> Also, the other end of the fueling hose in the ark is just open to the
> compartment the people are in and pouring water that's splashing on them
> because it's moving water so it must be safe to drink.

Oh, shit. I forgot about that. *Moving* water. Clod's superior intellect
wins again.

> Hot blonde wears a wig to cover that her head is all one big burn from
> getting caught in a UV storm a few years ago. Luckily it didn't affect any
> part of her that's not covered by a wig.

Yes, I wish she'd explain why when she went out in the UV storm, her
entire body was covered and protected except the top and back of her
head. That must have been one weird outfit.

> We find out there is a rule that no existing couples could be on the same
> ark because genetic diversity. Because that makes sense.

You can't be a couple before you board because that's not genetically
diverse, but if the same people hook up after they board, suddenly the
genetics are all cool.

Yep. Checks out.

In article
<1027433276.698288373.433144.anim8rfsk-cox.net@news.easynews.com>,
anim8rfsk <anim8rfsk@cox.net> wrote:

> Adam H. Kerman <ahk@chinet.com> wrote:
> > anim8rfsk <anim8rfsk@cox.net> wrote:

> >> We find out there is a rule that no existing couples could be on the same
> >> ark because genetic diversity. Because that makes sense.
> >
> > Hey! They said in dialogue that it made no sense. Clearly there was some
> > evil fertility doctor using his own seed to create all those babies.
> >
> Ripped from the headlines of law & order! At least twice!
>
> The worst part is they apparently think if there aren’'t any pre-existing
> couples on the Ark, nobody will hook up. Isn’'t filling the ark with single
> people more, not less, likely to promote hook ups?

I would think they'd want people to hook up. It's a colony ship, after
all. What's the point of starting a colony on a distant planet if no
one's supposed to hook up and produce kids to keep it going?

In article <ts4hmo$v03s$1@dont-email.me>,
Arthur Lipscomb <arthur@alum.calberkeley.org> wrote:

> On 2/9/2023 3:18 AM, anim8rfsk wrote:
> > S01E02 “ like It Touched the Sun“.
> >
> > previously on.
> > I saw three more examples of them getting the gravity wrong.
> >
> > Somewhere between here and alpha Centauri, racing along at either less than
> > the speed of light, or more than the speed of light, for some reason, it’s
> > very hot. Also, if you turn off the engines, the ship stops dead in space.
> > Let the headshaking begin.
> >
>
> I was too busy trying to wrap my head around their faster than light
> engines require water for coolant in order to work to notice that the
> ship came to a stop. But now that you mention it, the ship came to a
> stop?!?!? Also, where do they get the water from to cool the engines?
>
>
>
> snip
> >
> > In the cafeteria, the ship’s thugs attack the only one who can grow them
> > food because, well, they are the ship’s thugs. The security goon starts to
> > pummel them, but he’s out numbered! His cute posing sidekick is nowhere to
> > be found! Luckily, the scrawny gingeresque captain happens to be walking
> > by, and effortlessly clobbers half a dozen guys twice her mass,
>
> Because she's a robot!

"The lieutenant's a robot! The lieutenant's a goddam robot!"

In article
<1245129644.697747159.904294.anim8rfsk-cox.net@news.easynews.com>,
anim8rfsk <anim8rfsk@cox.net> wrote:

> Ubiquitous <weberm@polaris.net> wrote:
> > anim8rfsk@cox.net wrote:
> >> Arthur Lipscomb <arthur@alum.calberkeley.org> wrote:
> >>> On 2/9/2023 3:18 AM, anim8rfsk wrote:
> >
> >>>> S01E02 "Like It Touched the Sun"
> >>>>
> >>>> In the cafeteria, the ship's thugs attack the only one who can grow them
> >>>> food because, well, they are the ship's thugs. The security goon starts
> >>>> to
> >>>> pummel them, but he's out numbered! His cute posing sidekick is nowhere
> >>>> to be found! Luckily, the scrawny gingeresque captain happens to be
> >>>> walking by, and effortlessly clobbers half a dozen guys twice her mass,
> >>>
> >>> Because she's a robot!
> >>
> >> Maybe they're all robots?
> >
> > Oooh, what a tweest!
> >
> > BTW, she wouldn't be a robot, she'd be an android.
>
> To be an android, she'd have to appear human. And she doesn't, she looks
> like a ginger.

Appearing to be soulless and appearing to be human are not the same thing!

BTR1701 <atropos@mac.com> wrote:
> In article
> <1027433276.698288373.433144.anim8rfsk-cox.net@news.easynews.com>,
> anim8rfsk <anim8rfsk@cox.net> wrote:
>
>> Adam H. Kerman <ahk@chinet.com> wrote:
>>> anim8rfsk <anim8rfsk@cox.net> wrote:
>
>>>> We find out there is a rule that no existing couples could be on the same
>>>> ark because genetic diversity. Because that makes sense.
>>>
>>> Hey! They said in dialogue that it made no sense. Clearly there was some
>>> evil fertility doctor using his own seed to create all those babies.
>>>
>> Ripped from the headlines of law & order! At least twice!
>>
>> The worst part is they apparently think if there aren’'t any pre-existing
>> couples on the Ark, nobody will hook up. Isn’'t filling the ark with single
>> people more, not less, likely to promote hook ups?
>
> I would think they'd want people to hook up. It's a colony ship, after
> all. What's the point of starting a colony on a distant planet if no
> one's supposed to hook up and produce kids to keep it going?
>

Yeah, that’s a mystery. I’m not sure you even want to start a colony with
300 people.

--
The last thing I want to do is hurt you, but it is still on my list.

On 4/1/23 11:18 PM, BTR1701 wrote:
> In article
> <1245129644.697747159.904294.anim8rfsk-cox.net@news.easynews.com>,
> anim8rfsk <anim8rfsk@cox.net> wrote:
>
>> Ubiquitous <weberm@polaris.net> wrote:
>>> anim8rfsk@cox.net wrote:
>>>> Arthur Lipscomb <arthur@alum.calberkeley.org> wrote:
>>>>> On 2/9/2023 3:18 AM, anim8rfsk wrote:
>>>
>>>>>> S01E02 "Like It Touched the Sun"
>>>>>>
>>>>>> In the cafeteria, the ship's thugs attack the only one who can grow them
>>>>>> food because, well, they are the ship's thugs. The security goon starts
>>>>>> to
>>>>>> pummel them, but he's out numbered! His cute posing sidekick is nowhere
>>>>>> to be found! Luckily, the scrawny gingeresque captain happens to be
>>>>>> walking by, and effortlessly clobbers half a dozen guys twice her mass,
>>>>>
>>>>> Because she's a robot!
>>>>
>>>> Maybe they're all robots?
>>>
>>> Oooh, what a tweest!
>>>
>>> BTW, she wouldn't be a robot, she'd be an android.
>>
>> To be an android, she'd have to appear human. And she doesn't, she looks
>> like a ginger.
>
> Appearing to be soulless and appearing to be human are not the same thing!

Ah yes, more misogyny from the resident homosexuals.