On 02/09/2021 10:44, Champ wrote:
>
> Oh, I want a funeral. Nothing religious, but otherwise I'm not too
> bothered by the content, as it'll be mostly drowned out by the wailing
> of the womenfolk

Asking where you've hidden the money?

On Thursday, 2 September 2021 at 09:46:53 UTC+1, stephen...@gmail.com wrote:

> I've not expressed it in my will, yet, but I'm pretty convinced I don't want a funeral.
> Just want to be cremated and have my ashes scattered in a specific spot in some
> woodlands.

This. But no cremation unless it was viking style not using gas.

I like the idea of a woodland tree pod burial, in fact it seems ideal.
I planted well over 10,000 trees along the way, one more will be good.
--
Hog
2020 SD-R '89 R100RS '96 Bastard12
BOB#5 OSOS#31 COFF#22 BOTAFOT#122

Champ <neal@champ.org.uk> wrote:
>
> Oh, I want a funeral. Nothing religious, but otherwise I'm not too
> bothered by the content, as it'll be mostly drowned out by the wailing
> of the womenfolk

The undertaker can arrange a non-religious funeral at the crematoriam.
Worked out quite nicely for Pam's funeral.

--
http://www.netunix.com/

On 9/2/2021 1:46 AM, Stephen Packer wrote:
> On Thursday, 2 September 2021 at 07:13:37 UTC+1, sweller wrote:
>> Champ wrote:
>>
>>>> I suppose enough time has passed to say, I was somewhat surprised
>>>> that it was a church service.
>>>
>>> The guest of honour doesn't get to pick the service
>>> (unless it's stipulated in your will - as mine is)
>> I've got as far as saying the hearse musn't be a Ford, Volvo (actually
>> any standard car conversion. I'll have a DS420, thank you) - or
>> motorcycle related.
>>
>> Can't think of anything else that needs covering in a will.
>
> I've not expressed it in my will, yet, but I'm pretty convinced I don't want a funeral.
> Just want to be cremated and have my ashes scattered in a specific spot in some
> woodlands.
>
Ditto. Ashes scattered in the ocean off my beach.

--
The erstwhile Thomas
FJR1300, R1200GS, ST1100 (in memoriam)

On 02/09/2021 16:08, Turby wrote:
> On 9/2/2021 1:46 AM, Stephen Packer wrote:
>> On Thursday, 2 September 2021 at 07:13:37 UTC+1, sweller wrote:
>>> Champ wrote:
>>>
>>>>> I suppose enough time has passed to say, I was somewhat surprised
>>>>> that it was a church service.
>>>>
>>>> The guest of honour doesn't get to pick the service
>>>> (unless it's stipulated in your will - as mine is)
>>> I've got as far as saying the hearse musn't be a Ford, Volvo (actually
>>> any standard car conversion. I'll have a DS420, thank you) - or
>>> motorcycle related.
>>>
>>> Can't think of anything else that needs covering in a will.
>>
>> I've not expressed it in my will, yet, but I'm pretty convinced I
>> don't want a funeral.
>> Just want to be cremated and have my ashes scattered in a specific
>> spot in some
>> woodlands.
>>
> Ditto. Ashes scattered in the ocean off my beach.
>
>

You own a beach!

--
Bruce Porter
"The internet is a huge and diverse community but mainly friendly"
http://ytc1.blogspot.co.uk/
There *is* an alternative! http://www.openoffice.org/

Turby <xsurf@xmail.com> wrote in news:sgqpdn$nkj$2@dont-email.me:

> On 9/2/2021 1:46 AM, Stephen Packer wrote:
>> On Thursday, 2 September 2021 at 07:13:37 UTC+1, sweller wrote:
>>> Champ wrote:
>>>
>>>>> I suppose enough time has passed to say, I was somewhat surprised
>>>>> that it was a church service.
>>>>
>>>> The guest of honour doesn't get to pick the service
>>>> (unless it's stipulated in your will - as mine is)
>>> I've got as far as saying the hearse musn't be a Ford, Volvo
>>> (actually any standard car conversion. I'll have a DS420, thank you)
>>> - or motorcycle related.
>>>
>>> Can't think of anything else that needs covering in a will.
>>
>> I've not expressed it in my will, yet, but I'm pretty convinced I
>> don't want a funeral. Just want to be cremated and have my ashes
>> scattered in a specific spot in some woodlands.
>>

ditto - we did this for my mother, scattered her ashes[1] under some
trees on a small tributary of the Wye a short distance from the small
holding she had from 1978 to 2002. The Wye was in flood so we didn't get
too close to that.

> Ditto. Ashes scattered in the ocean off my beach.

piss off the sea lions?

[1] apart from the bit of her scattered in her last house when I took
the lid off the box to find the bag inside was not sealed. There is
probably a bit of her still between the tiles on the hall floor.

In article <227a530d-2353-420c-84c5-
65138deb6ff3n@googlegroups.com>, Stephen Packer says...
>
> On Thursday, 2 September 2021 at 07:13:37 UTC+1, sweller wrote:
> > Champ wrote:
> >
> > > > I suppose enough time has passed to say, I was somewhat surprised
> > > > that it was a church service.
> > >
> > > The guest of honour doesn't get to pick the service
> > > (unless it's stipulated in your will - as mine is)
> > I've got as far as saying the hearse musn't be a Ford, Volvo (actually
> > any standard car conversion. I'll have a DS420, thank you) - or
> > motorcycle related.
> >
> > Can't think of anything else that needs covering in a will.
>
> I've not expressed it in my will, yet, but I'm pretty convinced I don't want a funeral.
> Just want to be cremated and have my ashes scattered in a specific spot in some
> woodlands.

I put MiL at the base of the rose in the front garden. She
wanted to be scattered off the coast of Scotland but she
was a cunt. Lucky I didn't just throw her in the bin.

YTC#1 <bdporter@ytc1-removespam.co.uk> wrote:
> On 02/09/2021 16:08, Turby wrote:

>> Ditto. Ashes scattered in the ocean off my beach.
>>
>>
>
> You own a beach!

Nope. The sea lions own it, Turby is just another aquatic creature
to them.

--
FJR1300A, GL1000, KLR650A6F, EX250J9A, DR200SE, Vespa Ciao

On Thursday, 2 September 2021 at 19:30:26 UTC+1, petrolcan wrote:
> In article <227a530d-2353-420c-84c5-
> 65138d...@googlegroups.com>, Stephen Packer says...
> >
> > On Thursday, 2 September 2021 at 07:13:37 UTC+1, sweller wrote:
> > > Champ wrote:
> > >
> > > > > I suppose enough time has passed to say, I was somewhat surprised
> > > > > that it was a church service.
> > > >
> > > > The guest of honour doesn't get to pick the service
> > > > (unless it's stipulated in your will - as mine is)
> > > I've got as far as saying the hearse musn't be a Ford, Volvo (actually
> > > any standard car conversion. I'll have a DS420, thank you) - or
> > > motorcycle related.
> > >
> > > Can't think of anything else that needs covering in a will.
> >
> > I've not expressed it in my will, yet, but I'm pretty convinced I don't want a funeral.
> > Just want to be cremated and have my ashes scattered in a specific spot in some
> > woodlands.
> I put MiL at the base of the rose in the front garden. She
> wanted to be scattered off the coast of Scotland but she
> was a cunt. Lucky I didn't just throw her in the bin.

Quality!

On 9/2/2021 2:21 PM, Mark Olson wrote:
> YTC#1 <bdporter@ytc1-removespam.co.uk> wrote:
>> On 02/09/2021 16:08, Turby wrote:
>
>>> Ditto. Ashes scattered in the ocean off my beach.
>>>
>>
>> You own a beach!
>
> Nope. The sea lions own it, Turby is just another aquatic creature
> to them.
>
Harumpf. They're just squatters, new to the area. Since 1963, I've spent
more time on that beach than anywhere in the world, including this house
I own. They just showed up ~4 years ago. A sizeable percentage of them
wear orange tags, showing they are products of Sea World. After the
movie Blackfish came out, Sea World got such bad press, they contracted
to rescue sick and impaired sea lions, give them free room & board and
medical care, then dump them back off our beach. Fuck Darwin's survival
of the fittest. They are now overpopulated and ruining the local
environment. The clique of seal lovers are trying to close the beach
permanently. (Actually 4 beaches over 1/2 mile.) There is actually a
town council zoom meeting this evening to discuss it.

--
The erstwhile Thomas
FJR1300, R1200GS, ST1100 (in memoriam)

On 02/09/2021 11:39, Dave Brown wrote:

>
> Ditto (1), humanist I think, followed by a scattering at a challenging location yet TBC.
>
Which is all very funny until you discover that your relatives will
requires them to be scattered from a Vulcan on a low level fly past and
you're left to sort that out.

--
Gyp

On 03/09/2021 07:05, Gyp wrote:
> On 02/09/2021 11:39, Dave Brown wrote:
>
>>
>> Ditto (1), humanist I think, followed by a scattering at a challenging
>> location yet TBC.
>>
> Which is all very funny until you discover that your relatives will
> requires them to be scattered from a Vulcan on a low level fly past and
> you're left to sort that out.

https://uk.airfix.com/products/avro-vulcan-b2-a12011
https://www.therange.co.uk/household/laundry/clothes-airers-and-washing-lines/washing-lines/replacement-washing-line/#401892
https://www.therange.co.uk/diy/hardware-and-accessories/household/fittings/cup-hooks-shouldered/#163723

Sorted

--
Eddie eddie@deguello.org

On 03/09/2021 08:30, Eddie wrote:
> On 03/09/2021 07:05, Gyp wrote:
>> On 02/09/2021 11:39, Dave Brown wrote:
>>
>>>
>>> Ditto (1), humanist I think, followed by a scattering at a
>>> challenging location yet TBC.
>>>
>> Which is all very funny until you discover that your relatives will
>> requires them to be scattered from a Vulcan on a low level fly past
>> and you're left to sort that out.
>
> https://uk.airfix.com/products/avro-vulcan-b2-a12011
> https://www.therange.co.uk/household/laundry/clothes-airers-and-washing-lines/washing-lines/replacement-washing-line/#401892
>
> https://www.therange.co.uk/diy/hardware-and-accessories/household/fittings/cup-hooks-shouldered/#163723
>
>
> Sorted
>
Well played that man!

--
The Deuchars BBB#40 COFF#14
Yamaha XV750SE & Suzuki GS550t
http://www.Deuchars.org.uk

On 03/09/2021 08:30, Eddie wrote:
> On 03/09/2021 07:05, Gyp wrote:
>> On 02/09/2021 11:39, Dave Brown wrote:
>>
>>>
>>> Ditto (1), humanist I think, followed by a scattering at a
>>> challenging location yet TBC.
>>>
>> Which is all very funny until you discover that your relatives will
>> requires them to be scattered from a Vulcan on a low level fly past
>> and you're left to sort that out.
>
> https://uk.airfix.com/products/avro-vulcan-b2-a12011
> https://www.therange.co.uk/household/laundry/clothes-airers-and-washing-lines/washing-lines/replacement-washing-line/#401892
>
> https://www.therange.co.uk/diy/hardware-and-accessories/household/fittings/cup-hooks-shouldered/#163723
>
>
> Sorted
>

Did anyone else tie hanky to action man, fill an Airfix plane with
lighter fluid, set it alight, throw it out of an upstairs window,
closely followed by the action man with hankie parachute?

No?

Oh. Ok.

--
Bruce Porter
"The internet is a huge and diverse community but mainly friendly"
http://ytc1.blogspot.co.uk/
There *is* an alternative! http://www.openoffice.org/

On Fri, 3 Sep 2021 10:31:56 +0100, YTC#1
<bdporter@ytc1-removespam.co.uk> wrote:

>Did anyone else tie hanky to action man, fill an Airfix plane with
>lighter fluid, set it alight, throw it out of an upstairs window,
>closely followed by the action man with hankie parachute?
>
>No?

We was too poor for Action Man, but little plastic toy soldiers, sure.
Didn't everyone?
--
Ace
http://www.chaletbeauroc.com/

On 03/09/2021 11:03, Ace wrote:
> On Fri, 3 Sep 2021 10:31:56 +0100, YTC#1
> <bdporter@ytc1-removespam.co.uk> wrote:
>
>> Did anyone else tie hanky to action man, fill an Airfix plane with
>> lighter fluid, set it alight, throw it out of an upstairs window,
>> closely followed by the action man with hankie parachute?
>>
>> No?
>
> We was too poor for Action Man, but little plastic toy soldiers, sure.
> Didn't everyone?
>
>
<phew> not alone then.</p>

Ahh,yes, they died a lot as well :-)

--
Bruce Porter
"The internet is a huge and diverse community but mainly friendly"
http://ytc1.blogspot.co.uk/
There *is* an alternative! http://www.openoffice.org/

Ace wrote:

> We was too poor for Action Man, but little plastic toy soldiers, sure.
> Didn't everyone?

I had quite a bit of Action Man - hand me downs and Christmas presents
mostly but enough new stuff to save up the stars to get a [drum roll]
sentry box.

I had a mixture of hard hands with painted hair to the more "modern"
gripping hands and real hair - no eagle eyes though.

One was adventure Action Man with a beard, and a penchant for tying up
Cindy.

--
Simon

YTC#1 wrote:

> > We was too poor for Action Man, but little plastic toy soldiers,
> > sure. Didn't everyone?
> >
> <phew> not alone then.</p>
>
> Ahh,yes, they died a lot as well

I dig them up in this garden from time to time - mostly Afika Corp and
a smattering of Eighth Army - no idea what the lad who lived here was
playing at as it's more like the Western Front.

--
Simon

On 03/09/2021 11:35, sweller wrote:
> YTC#1 wrote:
>
>>> We was too poor for Action Man, but little plastic toy soldiers,
>>> sure. Didn't everyone?
>>>
>> <phew> not alone then.</p>
>>
>> Ahh,yes, they died a lot as well
>
> I dig them up in this garden from time to time - mostly Afika Corp and
> a smattering of Eighth Army - no idea what the lad who lived here was
> playing at as it's more like the Western Front.
>

Afrika Corp, IIRC they were a sandy colour, as opposed to the green of
the standard (and grey for German??)

--
Bruce Porter
"The internet is a huge and diverse community but mainly friendly"
http://ytc1.blogspot.co.uk/
There *is* an alternative! http://www.openoffice.org/

On 03/09/2021 11:33, sweller wrote:
> Ace wrote:
>
>> We was too poor for Action Man, but little plastic toy soldiers, sure.
>> Didn't everyone?
>
> I had quite a bit of Action Man - hand me downs and Christmas presents
> mostly but enough new stuff to save up the stars to get a [drum roll]
> sentry box.

Deep sea diver kit, hours of fun in the bath.

>
> I had a mixture of hard hands with painted hair to the more "modern"
> gripping hands and real hair - no eagle eyes though.

Never understood the point of the "eagle eye" one.
>
> One was adventure Action Man with a beard, and a penchant for tying up
> Cindy.
>

Were you a repressed youngster?

--
Bruce Porter
"The internet is a huge and diverse community but mainly friendly"
http://ytc1.blogspot.co.uk/
There *is* an alternative! http://www.openoffice.org/

YTC#1 wrote:

> > I dig them up in this garden from time to time - mostly Afika Corp
> > and a smattering of Eighth Army - no idea what the lad who lived
> > here was playing at as it's more like the Western Front.
>
> Afrika Corp, IIRC they were a sandy colour, as opposed to the green
> of the standard (and grey for German??)

Both the German and British versions were sand coloured - the British
had shorts too.

....the ones I dig up are.

--
Simon

On 02/09/2021 22:25, Hog wrote:
> On Thursday, 2 September 2021 at 19:30:26 UTC+1, petrolcan wrote:
<snip>
>> I put MiL at the base of the rose in the front garden. She
>> wanted to be scattered off the coast of Scotland but she
>> was a cunt. Lucky I didn't just throw her in the bin.
>
> Quality!
>

This does suggest the futility of expecting one's wishes to be carried
out and I will be surprised if the deceased worry about it. I will be
very surprised.

The only stipulation in my will is that my executor, my elder daughter,
should use her niece's share wisely in order to keep her housed and
comfortable, because her mother asked me to look after her and she is
the most feckless, lacking in foresight, spendy person I know.

Gyp <a@b.c> wrote:
> On 02/09/2021 11:39, Dave Brown wrote:
>
>>
>> Ditto (1), humanist I think, followed by a scattering at a challenging location yet TBC.
>>
> Which is all very funny until you discover that your relatives will
> requires them to be scattered from a Vulcan on a low level fly past and
> you're left to sort that out.
>

The reality will end up being you get dumped in a heap, next to the
security fence at the local airport while your executor is looking
at a C152.

--
FJR1300A, GL1000, KLR650A6F, EX250J9A, DR200SE, Vespa Ciao

On 03/09/2021 20:44 Mark Olson penned these words:
> Gyp <a@b.c> wrote:
>> On 02/09/2021 11:39, Dave Brown wrote:
>>
>>>
>>> Ditto (1), humanist I think, followed by a scattering at a challenging location yet TBC.
>>>
>> Which is all very funny until you discover that your relatives will
>> requires them to be scattered from a Vulcan on a low level fly past and
>> you're left to sort that out.
>>
>
> The reality will end up being you get dumped in a heap, next to the
> security fence at the local airport while your executor is looking
> at a C152.
>
My Dad is still in the garage where mum placed the urn, doubtless we will end up
dealing with his remains at the same time as hers at an as yet undetermined time.

--
Ian

"Man will never be free until the last king is strangled with the entrails of
the last priest"

On 03/09/2021 14:01, Boots wrote:
> On 03/09/2021 20:44 Mark Olson penned these words:
>> Gyp <a@b.c> wrote:
>>> On 02/09/2021 11:39, Dave Brown wrote:
>>>
>>>>
>>>> Ditto (1), humanist I think, followed by a scattering at a challenging location yet TBC.
>>>>
>>> Which is all very funny until you discover that your relatives will
>>> requires them to be scattered from a Vulcan on a low level fly past and
>>> you're left to sort that out.
>>>
>>
>> The reality will end up being you get dumped in a heap, next to the
>> security fence at the local airport while your executor is looking
>> at a C152.
>>
> My Dad is still in the garage where mum placed the urn, doubtless we will end up
> dealing with his remains at the same time as hers at an as yet undetermined time.

We scattered my mum and dad over a variety of places. I took mum to
Ireland to scatter her partly on her parents' graves, and partly off the
Shaky Bridge which my grandfather designed (he was the Cork city
engineer). Something linking those two places - in The Young Offenders,
Conor and Jock jump off the Shaky Bridge, then visit Jock's mam's grave,
which the production team had placed right next to my grandparents'. As
I went to Ireland by bike, my mum did finish up breaking a promise to
her parents, that she'd never go on a motorcycle. I think they'd forgive
her on the grounds of force majeure though.

Dad got partially scattered on a beach in Cornwall. I keep meaning to
scoop some sand up from the beach next time I'm there, so I can have a
homeopathic dad.