On 05/05/2022 10:51, Robin wrote:

> As others have said, starting point is to express your wish in your will
> and appoint an executor you trust to honour your wishes.  Then consider
> arrangements to make sure your executor is informed promptly.
>
> But to play safe you could include in your will a gift to your husband
> which is conditional on your burial. And make clear to him in advance
> that if you burn his money goes up in the smoke.

There are a few practical issues.

If Hubby arranges a quick direct cremation, the executors probably won't
know in time to even try to stop him.

Besides that, there's no "property in a corpse", so the executors do not
even have the power to stop him.

https://www.forbessolicitors.co.uk/news/45228/no-property-in-a-corpse-body-and-funeral-disputes-on-death

By FAR the simplest way of dealing with all this is to pre-pay for the
style of funeral that you want. Then, if Hubby is even half as mean as
you make him out to be, he won't want to waste a single penny of that money!

Robin's suggestion of a gift to Hubby only if he abides by your burial
wishes sounds like a good one. Just don't overdo it, so he gets nothing
if he fails to comply, or he may be able to get the will overturned.
See Inheritance (Provision for Family and Dependants) Act 1975.

On 05/05/2022 08:35, aprilswee...@gmail.com wrote:
> On Thursday, May 5, 2022 at 8:11:57 AM UTC+1, Andy Burns wrote:
>> aprilswee...@gmail.com wrote:
>>
>>
>>> he told me that funeral costs were very expensive
>> My dad and I together chose a cardboard coffin and cremation for mum, and given
>> he was happy with that (it does at least pretend to look like wood) I chose the
>> same for him, a fairly basic funeral with hearse plus one car, pall bearers, a
>> service sheet and a celebrant about £4k in both cases
>>> I dont want a paupers funeral. I dont want a paupers grave. I can afford
>>> better. Is there any way I can ensure he doesnt send me off to a paupers grave
>>> or worse, burn me to save money?
>> Put it in your will, and name someone you trust to carry out your wishes as your
>> executor?
>>
>>
>> Pre-pay your own funeral?
>
> I know some people think 4K is a lot of money. I dont. I have more than that available.
> After all, it is my money. I have no real desire to see it left to people who will probably holiday on it.
> I have never had a holiday as it was always deemed to "Cost too much". I wont have one now as life has changed post covid.
>
> They can have whats left - a large sum as well as a house . My OH is next of kin but clearly he isnt to be trusted.

You sound really unhappy. Depressed, even. You could possibly benefit
from a chat with your GP. Just a thought.

On 05/05/2022 12:01, GB wrote:
> On 05/05/2022 10:51, Robin wrote:
>
>> As others have said, starting point is to express your wish in your
>> will and appoint an executor you trust to honour your wishes.  Then
>> consider arrangements to make sure your executor is informed promptly.
>>
>> But to play safe you could include in your will a gift to your husband
>> which is conditional on your burial. And make clear to him in advance
>> that if you burn his money goes up in the smoke.
>
> There are a few practical issues.
>
> If Hubby arranges a quick direct cremation, the executors probably won't
> know in time to even try to stop him.
>
> Besides that, there's no "property in a corpse", so the executors do not
> even have the power to stop him.
>
> https://www.forbessolicitors.co.uk/news/45228/no-property-in-a-corpse-body-and-funeral-disputes-on-death

I cannot see where that site states that an executor cannot stop a
spouse from arranging a cremation. On the question of disputes it has:

"If negotiation or mediation doesn't work then it is possible to make an
application to court for the court to determine the dispute."

That can 'in extremis' include injunctive relief - which means hubby
could face prison time if he ignores the executor - as covered here by
Kingsley Napley

<https://www.kingsleynapley.co.uk/insights/blogs/dispute-resolution-law-blog/funeral-fall-outs-and-body-battles-who-is-in-charge>

> By FAR the simplest way of dealing with all this is to pre-pay for the
> style of funeral that you want. Then, if Hubby is even half as mean as
> you make him out to be, he won't want to waste a single penny of that
> money!

That is a good idea but not infallible. The better funeral plans will
refund money if the executor doesn't want everything provided for in the
plan.

> Robin's suggestion of a gift to Hubby only if he abides by your burial
> wishes sounds like a good one. Just don't overdo it, so he gets nothing
> if he fails to comply, or he may be able to get the will overturned. See
> Inheritance (Provision for Family and Dependants) Act 1975.
>
Good point.
--
Robin
reply-to address is (intended to be) valid

On 05/05/2022 10:01, charles wrote:

> My in-laws both had a church funeral service, then the bodies were
> cremated. The ashes were buried in their church grounds. So, you can have
> both ideas happening
>
Yes. A number of my relatives have had their ashes buried or scattered
in the village cemetery.

On 05/05/2022 11:40, Spike wrote:
> On 05/05/2022 06:56, aprilswee...@gmail.com wrote:
>
>> My OH and I have very different ideas about funerals. I want to be buried in a churchyard ( my family are a graveyard type family). My OH have always been burners.
>
>> The other day ( after watching TV adverts or listening to some radio programme about funerals I think) he told me that funeral costs were very expensive and indicated that if I die before him he will opt for the plainest, simplest funeral/ cremation he can get to "Save money" We dont need to save money is the first point here. I have money of my own from my aunt as an inheritance anyway. Thats in addition to working for 40 odd years and having some money from that although that always ended up in the joint money pot ( big mistake as OH thinks he earned all that money, not me). He is something of a miser.
>
>> I know people ignore wills. Many have been sidestepped in my family and my OH's. Burned, lost, and plain ignored. Is there a way I can make sure I just get a decent burial when I am gone from this life?
>
>
> You might like to consider posting this to uk.legal.moderated.

You just beat me to it! Someone there with legal experience will almost
certainly have been this way before.

--

Jeff

On Thursday, May 5, 2022 at 11:28:12 AM UTC+1, charles wrote:
> In article <c85fd59b-447c-4a52...@googlegroups.com>,
> aprilswee...@gmail.com <aprilswee...@gmail.com> wrote:
> > On Thursday, May 5, 2022 at 10:30:33 AM UTC+1, Colin Bignell wrote:
> > > On 05/05/2022 09:45, John Rumm wrote:
> > > > On 05/05/2022 07:56, aprilswee...@gmail.com wrote:
> > > >> My OH and I have very different ideas about funerals. I want to be
> > > >> buried in a churchyard ( my family are a graveyard type family). My
> > > >> OH have always been burners.
> > > >>
> > > >> The other day ( after watching TV adverts or listening to some radio
> > > >> programme about funerals I think) he told me that funeral costs
> > > >> were very expensive and indicated that if I die before him he will
> > > >> opt for the plainest, simplest funeral/ cremation he can get to
> > > >> "Save money" We dont need to save money is the first point here. I
> > > >> have money of my own from my aunt as an inheritance anyway. Thats
> > > >> in addition to working for 40 odd years and having some money from
> > > >> that although that always ended up in the joint money pot ( big
> > > >> mistake as OH thinks he earned all that money, not me). He is
> > > >> something of a miser.
> > > >>
> > > >> I dont want a paupers funeral. I dont want a paupers grave. I can
> > > >> afford better. Is there any way I can ensure he doesnt send me off
> > > >> to a paupers grave or worse, burn me to save money?
> > > >>
> > > >> I know people ignore wills. Many have been sidestepped in my family
> > > >> and my OH's. Burned, lost, and plain ignored. Is there a way I
> > > >> can make sure I just get a decent burial when I am gone from this
> > > >> life?
> > > >>
> > > >> I know its a contentious issue. I wont engage in the whys and
> > > >> wherefores of peoples ideas on disposing of bodies after death. The
> > > >> question is simple for me.
> > > >
> > > > Decide what you want, arrange it and pay for it now, then leave
> > > > detailed instructions. Put it in the will, and chose trustworthy
> > > > executors.
> > > +!
> > >
> > > However, remember that, these days, a burial plot is normally not yours
> > > forever. What you buy is a right to exclusive use for a set period,
> > > usually between 50 and 100 years. After that time, notices will be
> > > posted on the headstone and, if known, sent to the holder of the right,
> > > asking if the right is to be renewed, for a payment. If not, the body
> > > will not be disturbed, but the headstone may be removed and another
> > > body buried in the same plot.
> > >
> > > -- Colin Bignell
>
> > My OH's mother and father have a niche for their ashes in the local crem.
> > That has to be paid for every 13 years . I paid for it the last time as
> > OH's sisters didnt want to do it. Thats a lot shorter than being put
> > in the ground . I dont recall anyone saying my dads grave would be
> > shifted to one side if mum didnt pay at any future point. he is in the
> > local churchyard. My mum is to be placed on top of him when she goes.
> > Again I am not aware of any restriction on time here.
>
> > I would like to go to the local parish churchyard too. Is asking for a
> > Christian burial too much for the church now as well these days?
> What might be too much for your local chuch is that their space is full. A
> few years ago, I attended a service to make the "consecrated ground" a bit
> larger. There was room to do this, but here might not be at some churches
> in towns. And, as I said earlier, it is quite possible to bury ashes in a
> churchyard. They don't have to stay at the crematorium.
> --
> from KT24 in Surrey, England
> "I'd rather die of exhaustion than die of boredom" Thomas Carlyle

From what I gather over 70% of funerals now are cremations. I am one of the few who wants to be buried.

On 05/05/2022 07:56, aprilswee...@gmail.com wrote:
> My OH and I have very different ideas about funerals. I want to be buried in a churchyard ( my family are a graveyard type family). My OH have always been burners.
>
<snipped>
>
> I dont want a paupers funeral. I dont want a paupers grave. I can afford better. Is there any way I can ensure he doesnt send me off to a paupers grave or worse, burn me to save money?
>
> I know people ignore wills. Many have been sidestepped in my family and my OH's. Burned, lost, and plain ignored. Is there a way I can make sure I just get a decent burial when I am gone from this life?

A tattoo would be hard to ignore.

--
Cheers
Clive

On Thursday, May 5, 2022 at 11:59:17 AM UTC+1, Andy Burns wrote:
> Jock wrote:
>
> > Andy Burns wrote:
> >
> >> aprilswee...@gmail.com wrote:
> >>
> >>> Is there any way I can ensure he doesnt send me off to a paupers grave
> >>> or worse, burn me to save money?
> >>
> >> Put it in your will, and name someone you trust to carry out your wishes as
> >> your executor?
> >
> > He can just ignore the will unless you pick an executor who will force it to be
> > carried out.
> That's what I said, if she doesn't trust him to carry out her will, pick someone
> else who she does trust.
>
> It'd work out more expensive to use a solicitor rather than a relative as
> executor, but they're far more likely to do as she requests.

It looks like I have to find a decent and reliable solicitor then. That isnt always easy either. I have bought two houses in my life. In both cases the solicitor seemed dodgy and was later struck off! Outside of large cities local solicitors can be of varying standards.

> You sound really unhappy. Depressed, even. You could possibly benefit
> from a chat with your GP. Just a thought.

What GP would that be since covid then? No I am not depressed. I have just become aware kof how my OH is thinking and what he would do. Its a problem. It needs a solution not a bunch of anti depressants to make me feel happy about something I am not happy about.

On Thursday, May 5, 2022 at 12:35:05 PM UTC+1, Clive Arthur wrote:

> A tattoo would be hard to ignore.
>
> --
> Cheers
> Clive

There is a thought. That made me smile too. You never know, it could be the way forward. I have heard of people having tatoo's for refusing to donate organs and such things.

On 05/05/2022 12:19, Robin wrote:
> On 05/05/2022 12:01, GB wrote:
>> On 05/05/2022 10:51, Robin wrote:
>>
>>> As others have said, starting point is to express your wish in your
>>> will and appoint an executor you trust to honour your wishes.  Then
>>> consider arrangements to make sure your executor is informed promptly.
>>>
>>> But to play safe you could include in your will a gift to your
>>> husband which is conditional on your burial. And make clear to him in
>>> advance that if you burn his money goes up in the smoke.
>>
>> There are a few practical issues.
>>
>> If Hubby arranges a quick direct cremation, the executors probably
>> won't know in time to even try to stop him.
>>
>> Besides that, there's no "property in a corpse", so the executors do
>> not even have the power to stop him.
>>
>> https://www.forbessolicitors.co.uk/news/45228/no-property-in-a-corpse-body-and-funeral-disputes-on-death
>
>
> I cannot see where that site states that an executor cannot stop a
> spouse from arranging a cremation.  On the question of disputes it has:
>
> "If negotiation or mediation doesn't work then it is possible to make an
> application to court for the court to determine the dispute."
>
> That can 'in extremis' include injunctive relief - which means hubby
> could face prison time if he ignores the executor - as covered here by
> Kingsley Napley
>
> <https://www.kingsleynapley.co.uk/insights/blogs/dispute-resolution-law-blog/funeral-fall-outs-and-body-battles-who-is-in-charge>

Yes, you're right. Thank you.

If, as others have suggested, the OP appoints a solicitor or bank as
executor, it could be easy for Hubby to keep the executor in the dark
about the death. Then, Hubby claims the body, and by the time the
executor comes on the scene perhaps months later, the body has long
since been cremated.

The Dina and Rasa case - the judgement of King Solomon springs to mind.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Judgement_of_Solomon

>
>
>> By FAR the simplest way of dealing with all this is to pre-pay for the
>> style of funeral that you want. Then, if Hubby is even half as mean as
>> you make him out to be, he won't want to waste a single penny of that
>> money!
>
> That is a good idea but not infallible.  The better funeral plans will
> refund money if the executor doesn't want everything provided for in the
> plan.

Interesting. Possibly, the OP can agree an alteration to the plan, to
stop any refunds? Certainly, that's something for her to watch out for.

It's all change in the funeral plan industry, btw, as they all need to
become insured.

On Thursday, May 5, 2022 at 12:19:46 PM UTC+1, Robin wrote:
> On 05/05/2022 12:01, GB wrote:
> > On 05/05/2022 10:51, Robin wrote:
> >
> >> As others have said, starting point is to express your wish in your
> >> will and appoint an executor you trust to honour your wishes. Then
> >> consider arrangements to make sure your executor is informed promptly.
> >>
> >> But to play safe you could include in your will a gift to your husband
> >> which is conditional on your burial. And make clear to him in advance
> >> that if you burn his money goes up in the smoke.
> >
> > There are a few practical issues.
> >
> > If Hubby arranges a quick direct cremation, the executors probably won't
> > know in time to even try to stop him.
> >
> > Besides that, there's no "property in a corpse", so the executors do not
> > even have the power to stop him.
> >
> > https://www.forbessolicitors.co.uk/news/45228/no-property-in-a-corpse-body-and-funeral-disputes-on-death

I had always intended that if I went before him I would leave him all my money . I didnt realise what he was thinking until he came out with it the other day. he even told me that if he donated my body to medical science or some such they would pay for my funeral, thus meaning it was done for free.

I would never have dreamed of doing something like that to him. :(

I have told him what I think and he did try and back track but the damage is done now. I had intended doing as all my family before me, leaving a list of written instructions for the funeral and burial with the money and the rest by intestacy ( as I have no real desire to do anything that intestacy wouldnt do for me anyway. No need for a will ( until now) because I know wills do not work well anyway in my experience. You cannot contest intestacy.

On 05/05/2022 12:38, aprilswee...@gmail.com wrote:
>
>> You sound really unhappy. Depressed, even. You could possibly benefit
>> from a chat with your GP. Just a thought.
>
> What GP would that be since covid then? No I am not depressed. I have just become aware kof how my OH is thinking and what he would do. Its a problem. It needs a solution not a bunch of anti depressants to make me feel happy about something I am not happy about.

:) I'm sorry.

You can have telephone cons with your GP, as and when needed.

On 05/05/2022 12:51, aprilswee...@gmail.com wrote:
> You cannot contest intestacy.

although FTAOD people /can/ contest who gets what from an intestate
estate under the provision GB mentioned - the Inheritance (Provision for
Family and Dependants) Act 1975.

--
Robin
reply-to address is (intended to be) valid

On 05/05/2022 12:33, aprilswee...@gmail.com wrote:
....
> From what I gather over 70% of funerals now are cremations. I am one of the few who wants to be buried.

Cremations are cheaper, from under £1,000 for an unattended cremation,
to a bit over £2,000 for one with a service. For many people, that is
important, even if it is one of the few things that can be paid for from
the estate before probate is granted.

Personally, I will be past caring either way when the time comes.

--
Colin Bignell

In article <e39a5be5-e809-49ac-8c5b-2d61d9d94377n@googlegroups.com>,
aprilswee...@gmail.com <aprilsweetheartrose@gmail.com> wrote:
> On Thursday, May 5, 2022 at 12:19:46 PM UTC+1, Robin wrote:
> > On 05/05/2022 12:01, GB wrote:
> > > On 05/05/2022 10:51, Robin wrote:
> > >
> > >> As others have said, starting point is to express your wish in your
> > >> will and appoint an executor you trust to honour your wishes. Then
> > >> consider arrangements to make sure your executor is informed
> > >> promptly.
> > >>
> > >> But to play safe you could include in your will a gift to your
> > >> husband which is conditional on your burial. And make clear to him
> > >> in advance that if you burn his money goes up in the smoke.
> > >
> > > There are a few practical issues.
> > >
> > > If Hubby arranges a quick direct cremation, the executors probably
> > > won't know in time to even try to stop him.
> > >
> > > Besides that, there's no "property in a corpse", so the executors do
> > > not even have the power to stop him.
> > >
> > > https://www.forbessolicitors.co.uk/news/45228/no-property-in-a-corpse-body-and-funeral-disputes-on-death

> I had always intended that if I went before him I would leave him all my
> money . I didnt realise what he was thinking until he came out with it
> the other day. he even told me that if he donated my body to medical
> science or some such they would pay for my funeral, thus meaning it was
> done for free.

> I would never have dreamed of doing something like that to him. :(

> I have told him what I think and he did try and back track but the damage
> is done now. I had intended doing as all my family before me, leaving a
> list of written instructions for the funeral and burial with the money
> and the rest by intestacy ( as I have no real desire to do anything that
> intestacy wouldnt do for me anyway. No need for a will ( until now)
> because I know wills do not work well anyway in my experience. You
> cannot contest intestacy.

I do wonder if you've got this all wrong. Perhaps he doesn't realise that
he will be able to afford a funeral for you. He may be seriously worried
about the cost of a "traditional" funeral.

--
from KT24 in Surrey, England
"I'd rather die of exhaustion than die of boredom" Thomas Carlyle

On 05/05/2022 10:40, aprilswee...@gmail.com wrote:
> On Thursday, May 5, 2022 at 10:30:33 AM UTC+1, Colin Bignell wrote:
>> On 05/05/2022 09:45, John Rumm wrote:
>>> On 05/05/2022 07:56, aprilswee...@gmail.com wrote:
>>>> My OH and I have very different ideas about funerals. I want
>>>> to be buried in a churchyard ( my family are a graveyard type
>>>> family). My OH have always been burners.
>>>>
>>>> The other day ( after watching TV adverts or listening to some
>>>> radio programme about funerals I think) he told me that funeral
>>>> costs were very expensive and indicated that if I die before
>>>> him he will opt for the plainest, simplest funeral/ cremation
>>>> he can get to "Save money" We dont need to save money is the
>>>> first point here. I have money of my own from my aunt as an
>>>> inheritance anyway. Thats in addition to working for 40 odd
>>>> years and having some money from that although that always
>>>> ended up in the joint money pot ( big mistake as OH thinks he
>>>> earned all that money, not me). He is something of a miser.
>>>>
>>>> I dont want a paupers funeral. I dont want a paupers grave. I
>>>> can afford better. Is there any way I can ensure he doesnt
>>>> send me off to a paupers grave or worse, burn me to save
>>>> money?
>>>>
>>>> I know people ignore wills. Many have been sidestepped in my
>>>> family and my OH's. Burned, lost, and plain ignored. Is
>>>> there a way I can make sure I just get a decent burial when I
>>>> am gone from this life?
>>>>
>>>> I know its a contentious issue. I wont engage in the whys and
>>>> wherefores of peoples ideas on disposing of bodies after death.
>>>> The question is simple for me.
>>>
>>> Decide what you want, arrange it and pay for it now, then leave
>>> detailed instructions. Put it in the will, and chose trustworthy
>>> executors.
>> +!
>>
>> However, remember that, these days, a burial plot is normally not
>> yours forever. What you buy is a right to exclusive use for a set
>> period, usually between 50 and 100 years. After that time, notices
>> will be posted on the headstone and, if known, sent to the holder
>> of the right, asking if the right is to be renewed, for a payment.
>> If not, the body will not be disturbed, but the headstone may be
>> removed and another body buried in the same plot.
>>
>> -- Colin Bignell
>
> My OH's mother and father have a niche for their ashes in the local
> crem. That has to be paid for every 13 years . I paid for it the
> last time as OH's sisters didnt want to do it. Thats a lot shorter
> than being put in the ground . I dont recall anyone saying my dads
> grave would be shifted to one side if mum didnt pay at any future
> point. he is in the local churchyard. My mum is to be placed on
> top of him when she goes. Again I am not aware of any restriction on
> time here.

> I would like to go to the local parish churchyard too. Is asking for
> a Christian burial too much for the church now as well these days?

If you already have a family plot, then there is a fair chance it is
held "in perpetuity" if it was bought long enough ago. However sometimes
someone needs to remind the administrators of that IME!

Local churchyards often come under different jurisdictions from local
cemeteries. So it is worth finding out who is actually responsible for
the plot.

(when burying one of SWMBO's aunts, it turned out that what was thought
to be a churchyard was actually split with part being administered by
the church, and part administered by the local council. Administration
of the cemetery part had passed to a new admin at the local council who
had a bit of a reputation with the local funeral directors as being a
bit stroppy! Sure enough when I enquired they demanded payment and did
not countenance the suggestion that it was a fully owned and paid for
plot. Fortunately Aunt had kept the original guide book for the plot,
that made no mention of a lease, and was worded in a way that implied
ownership. So I scanned that and sent it to her, and she conceded (after
some internal investigation) that some plots were indeed sold, and they
might have to update their guidance and procedures! (which makes me
wonder how many others had to pay rent on plots they already owned)

--
Cheers,

John.

/=================================================================\
| Internode Ltd - http://www.internode.co.uk |
|-----------------------------------------------------------------|
| John Rumm - john(at)internode(dot)co(dot)uk |
\=================================================================/

In message <t50bnt$b19$1@dont-email.me>, GB
<NOTsomeone@microsoft.invalid> writes
>On 05/05/2022 08:35, aprilswee...@gmail.com wrote:
>> On Thursday, May 5, 2022 at 8:11:57 AM UTC+1, Andy Burns wrote:
>>> aprilswee...@gmail.com wrote:
>>>
>>>
>>>> he told me that funeral costs were very expensive
>>> My dad and I together chose a cardboard coffin and cremation for
>>>mum, and given
>>> he was happy with that (it does at least pretend to look like wood)
>>>I chose the
>>> same for him, a fairly basic funeral with hearse plus one car, pall
>>>bearers, a
>>> service sheet and a celebrant about £4k in both cases
>>>> I dont want a paupers funeral. I dont want a paupers grave. I can afford
>>>> better. Is there any way I can ensure he doesnt send me off to a
>>>>paupers grave
>>>> or worse, burn me to save money?
>>> Put it in your will, and name someone you trust to carry out your
>>>wishes as your
>>> executor?
>>>
>>>
>>> Pre-pay your own funeral?
>> I know some people think 4K is a lot of money. I dont. I have more
>>than that available.
>> After all, it is my money. I have no real desire to see it left to
>>people who will probably holiday on it.
>> I have never had a holiday as it was always deemed to "Cost too
>>much". I wont have one now as life has changed post covid.
>> They can have whats left - a large sum as well as a house . My OH is
>>next of kin but clearly he isnt to be trusted.
>
>
>You sound really unhappy. Depressed, even. You could possibly benefit
>from a chat with your GP. Just a thought.

Alternatively, plan to outlive the bastard?
>

--
Tim Lamb

On 05/05/2022 08:35, aprilswee...@gmail.com wrote:
> On Thursday, May 5, 2022 at 8:11:57 AM UTC+1, Andy Burns wrote:
>> aprilswee...@gmail.com wrote:
>>
>>
>>> he told me that funeral costs were very expensive
>> My dad and I together chose a cardboard coffin and cremation for mum, and given
>> he was happy with that (it does at least pretend to look like wood) I chose the
>> same for him, a fairly basic funeral with hearse plus one car, pall bearers, a
>> service sheet and a celebrant about £4k in both cases
>>> I dont want a paupers funeral. I dont want a paupers grave. I can afford
>>> better. Is there any way I can ensure he doesnt send me off to a paupers grave
>>> or worse, burn me to save money?
>> Put it in your will, and name someone you trust to carry out your wishes as your
>> executor?
>>
>>
>> Pre-pay your own funeral?
>
> I know some people think 4K is a lot of money. I dont. I have more than that available.
> After all, it is my money. I have no real desire to see it left to people who will probably holiday on it.
> I have never had a holiday as it was always deemed to "Cost too much". I wont have one now as life has changed post covid.
>
> They can have whats left - a large sum as well as a house . My OH is next of kin but clearly he isnt to be trusted.

this begs the question of why are you living with someone you do not trust?

On 05/05/2022 12:48, GB wrote:
> If, as others have suggested, the OP appoints a solicitor or bank as
> executor, it could be easy for Hubby to keep the executor in the dark
> about the death. Then, Hubby claims the body, and by the time the
> executor comes on the scene perhaps months later, the body has long
> since been cremated.

I think this is verging on fantasy.
A death involves many agencies - possibly police, ambulance, social
services..it's quite hard to keep them apart.

For example unless you forge signatures you cant access a dead person's
account that easily, and if you do, its criminal .

That is unless something is clearly passed on to you by the will, or by
common law, grabbing it is theft.

--
The theory of Communism may be summed up in one sentence: Abolish all
private property.

Karl Marx

On 05/05/2022 12:36, aprilswee...@gmail.com wrote:
> Outside of large cities local solicitors can be of varying standards.
whereas inside of cities they are universally shark like

--
There is something fascinating about science. One gets such wholesale
returns of conjecture out of such a trifling investment of fact.

Mark Twain

On 05/05/2022 12:38, aprilswee...@gmail.com wrote:
>
>> You sound really unhappy. Depressed, even. You could possibly
>> benefit from a chat with your GP. Just a thought.
>
> What GP would that be since covid then? No I am not depressed. I
> have just become aware kof how my OH is thinking and what he would
> do. Its a problem. It needs a solution not a bunch of anti
> depressants to make me feel happy about something I am not happy
> about.
Good for you!

--
There is something fascinating about science. One gets such wholesale
returns of conjecture out of such a trifling investment of fact.

Mark Twain

On Thu, 5 May 2022 10:30:19 +0100, Colin Bignell
<cpb@bignellREMOVETHIS.me.uk> wrote:

>
>However, remember that, these days, a burial plot is normally not yours
>forever. What you buy is a right to exclusive use for a set period,
>usually between 50 and 100 years. After that time, notices will be
>posted on the headstone and, if known, sent to the holder of the right,
>asking if the right is to be renewed, for a payment. If not, the body
>will not be disturbed, but the headstone may be removed and another body
>buried in the same plot.

The only place where I have found that, in more than 100 churchyards
and cemeteries visited, is at the Kensal Green Roman Catholic Cemetery
in north London. There, they levelled part of the site, tipped about a
yard depth of earth over the top and started burials again. Don't know
what they did with the original memorials.
In a good number of cemeteries/churchards I often think that the
interred woulf be horrified if they knew how their graves were
neglected. Even a bequest for maintenance is no guarantee. £100 left
in 1910, Shirehampton, Bristol, would not have lasted very long.

On Thu, 5 May 2022 04:51:01 -0700 (PDT), "aprilswee...@gmail.com"
<aprilsweetheartrose@gmail.com> wrote:

> he even told me that if he donated my body to medical science or some such they would pay for my funeral, thus meaning it was done for free.
>

That's not as straightforward as he might think. It has to be done by
agreement of the deceased, when they are still alive, obvs, completing
an agreement with the chosen research establishment, and they don't
take all bodies on offer, those who have died from cancer, for
example. (I have done this in respect of my own corpse.)

On 05/05/2022 12:42, aprilswee...@gmail.com wrote:
> On Thursday, May 5, 2022 at 12:35:05 PM UTC+1, Clive Arthur wrote:
>
>> A tattoo would be hard to ignore.
>>
>> --
>> Cheers
>> Clive
>
> There is a thought. That made me smile too. You never know, it could be the way forward. I have heard of people having tatoo's for refusing to donate organs and such things.

Yes, and for telling medics you're diabetic or allergic and so on.

You could simply use the title of Christopher Fry's 1948 play :-)

--
Cheers
Clive