On Monday, November 28, 2022 at 10:05:34 AM UTC-5, george...@yahoo.ca wrote:
> On 2022-11-27 7:09 a.m., Spam-I-Am wrote:
> > On Sunday, November 27, 2022 at 6:39:31 AM UTC-5, Spam-I-Am wrote:
> >> On Saturday, November 26, 2022 at 3:49:07 PM UTC-5, george...@yahoo.ca wrote:
> >>> My Father's House
> >>>
> >>> This is my father's house, although
> >>> The man died thirteen years ago.
> >>> They said it would be quite all right
> >>> To take a drive to see it now.
> >>>
> >>> Dad laid those grey foundation blocks
> >>> And built the whole thing (from a box),
> >>> Toiling after each full day's work.
> >>> I helped, though I was only six.
> >>>
> >>> Look, here's the back door I would use
> >>> And here's where I'd remove my shoes
> >>> To enter; there I'd leave my things
> >>> And, when allowed, climb up these stairs.
> >>>
> >>> In this room I'd wash many a dish,
> >>> Gaze out this window, and I'd wish
> >>> To be so many other places.
> >>> (Wishy-washy? Oh, I guess!)
> >>>
> >>> Outside, the garden that he grew
> >>> Where I would work the summers through,
> >>> While watching my friends run and play
> >>> Mysterious games I never knew.
> >>>
> >>> That room's all changed; oh, where is it,
> >>> The one chair I was let to sit?
> >>> (For boys can be such filthy things.)
> >>> Which, the corner where boys were put?
> >>>
> >>> Oh ... down that hall there is a room
> >>> Where I'd be shut (as in a tomb)
> >>> After the meal, to make no noise,
> >>> To read or play alone, and then
> >>>
> >>> Lights out: in bed by nine each night,
> >>> Some nights wanting to pee with fright,
> >>> Face and pyjama bottoms down
> >>> As for my father's belt I'd wait.
> >>>
> >>> Oh, if I were a millionaire
> >>> I'd buy my father's house, and there
> >>> I'd build a bonfire, oh so high
> >>> Its flames would light up all the air.
> >>>
> >>> ~~
> >>> George J. Dance
> >>> from Logos and other logoi, 2021
> >> Okay, so the poem tells a story of remembered abuse.
> >> The extent to which the story in the poem reflects the
> >> true story of your life and memory is fundamentally
> >> irrelevant to the reader except to the extent that your
> >> life experience informs your ability to write emotionally
> >> convincing stories that are of interest to other people.
> >> When you say “My” father’s house, “By” George J. Dance,
> >> people are going to think you’re talking about yourself.
> >
> > Therefore, “my” recommendation is to change the title of “your” poem from
> > “My Father’s House” to “Our Father’s House”, and all of the relevant pronouns
> > from singular to plural possessive. “Our” Father’s House allows “you” to represent
> > and speak for “your” kin, those who identify with the speaker, and also provides a
> > subtle religious connotation, “Our Father, who art in heaven…”, that “My” does not.
> >
>
> Thanks for giving it so much thought and effort. I have to acknowledge
> that.
>
> Pluralizing all the pronouns would change the poem considerably, but one
> thing it wouldn't change is the confusion you mentioned. If someone
> thought this was a poem about my own father and childhood because it was
> titled "My Father's House," they'd be just as likely to think that if it
> were titled "Our Father's House".
>
> Except, of course, for that religious connotation; some might think it
> was a poem about God. But it's not a poem about God, and that's an
> interpretation I wouldn't want to encourage.
>
> > Lose the parentheses.
>
> I like them. They're both interruptions in the speaker's thought process.

You’re welcome. Have a nice day.

On Monday, November 28, 2022 at 9:38:22 AM UTC-5, Spam-I-Am wrote:
> On Monday, November 28, 2022 at 9:26:47 AM UTC-5, Will Dockery wrote:
> > On Monday, November 28, 2022 at 9:20:58 AM UTC-5, Spam-I-Am wrote:
> > > On Monday, November 28, 2022 at 9:06:01 AM UTC-5, Will Dockery wrote:
> > > > Spam-I-Am wrote:
> > > >
> > > > > On Monday, November 28, 2022 at 8:47:53 AM UTC-5, Will Dockery wrote:
> > > > >> On Monday, November 28, 2022 at 8:42:46 AM UTC-5, Spam-I-Am wrote:
> > > > >> > On Monday, November 28, 2022 at 8:33:38 AM UTC-5, Will Dockery wrote:
> > > > >> > > On Monday, November 28, 2022 at 8:14:31 AM UTC-5, Spam-I-Am wrote:
> > > > >> > > > On Monday, November 28, 2022 at 8:07:21 AM UTC-5, Will Dockery wrote:
> > > > >> > > > > On Monday, November 28, 2022 at 8:02:59 AM UTC-5, Spam-I-Am wrote:
> > > > >> > > > > > On Monday, November 28, 2022 at 7:52:45 AM UTC-5, Will Dockery wrote:
> > > > >> > > > > > > On Monday, November 28, 2022 at 7:40:45 AM UTC-5, Spam-I-Am wrote:
> > > > >> > > > > > > > On Monday, November 28, 2022 at 7:36:30 AM UTC-5, Will Dockery wrote:
> > > > >> > > > > > > > > On Monday, November 28, 2022 at 6:10:56 AM UTC-5, Spam-I-Am wrote:
> > > > >> > > > > > > > > > On Monday, November 28, 2022 at 1:16:44 AM UTC-5, Will Dockery wrote:
> > > > >> > > > > > > > > > > George J. Dance wrote:
> > > > >> > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > >> > > > > > > > > > > > On 2022-11-26 4:02 p.m., Zod wrote:
> > > > >> > > > > > > > > > > >> On Saturday, November 26, 2022 at 3:49:07 PM UTC-5, george...@yahoo.ca wrote:
> > > > >> > > > > > > > > > > >>>
> > > > >> > > > > > > > > > > >>> My Father's House
> > > > >> > > > > > > > > > > >>>
> > > > >> > > > > > > > > > > >>> This is my father's house, although
> > > > >> > > > > > > > > > > >>> The man died thirteen years ago.
> > > > >> > > > > > > > > > > >>> They said it would be quite all right
> > > > >> > > > > > > > > > > >>> To take a drive to see it now.
> > > > >> > > > > > > > > > > >>>
> > > > >> > > > > > > > > > > >>> Dad laid those grey foundation blocks
> > > > >> > > > > > > > > > > >>> And built the whole thing (from a box),
> > > > >> > > > > > > > > > > >>> Toiling after each full day's work.
> > > > >> > > > > > > > > > > >>> I helped, though I was only six.
> > > > >> > > > > > > > > > > >>>
> > > > >> > > > > > > > > > > >>> Look, here's the back door I would use
> > > > >> > > > > > > > > > > >>> And here's where I'd remove my shoes
> > > > >> > > > > > > > > > > >>> To enter; there I'd leave my things
> > > > >> > > > > > > > > > > >>> And, when allowed, climb up these stairs..
> > > > >> > > > > > > > > > > >>>
> > > > >> > > > > > > > > > > >>> In this room I'd wash many a dish,
> > > > >> > > > > > > > > > > >>> Gaze out this window, and I'd wish
> > > > >> > > > > > > > > > > >>> To be so many other places.
> > > > >> > > > > > > > > > > >>> (Wishy-washy? Oh, I guess!)
> > > > >> > > > > > > > > > > >>>
> > > > >> > > > > > > > > > > >>> Outside, the garden that he grew
> > > > >> > > > > > > > > > > >>> Where I would work the summers through,
> > > > >> > > > > > > > > > > >>> While watching my friends run and play
> > > > >> > > > > > > > > > > >>> Mysterious games I never knew.
> > > > >> > > > > > > > > > > >>>
> > > > >> > > > > > > > > > > >>> That room's all changed; oh, where is it,
> > > > >> > > > > > > > > > > >>> The one chair I was let to sit?
> > > > >> > > > > > > > > > > >>> (For boys can be such filthy things.)
> > > > >> > > > > > > > > > > >>> Which, the corner where boys were put?
> > > > >> > > > > > > > > > > >>>
> > > > >> > > > > > > > > > > >>> Oh ... down that hall there is a room
> > > > >> > > > > > > > > > > >>> Where I'd be shut (as in a tomb)
> > > > >> > > > > > > > > > > >>> After the meal, to make no noise,
> > > > >> > > > > > > > > > > >>> To read or play alone, and then
> > > > >> > > > > > > > > > > >>>
> > > > >> > > > > > > > > > > >>> Lights out: in bed by nine each night,
> > > > >> > > > > > > > > > > >>> Some nights wanting to pee with fright,
> > > > >> > > > > > > > > > > >>> Face and pyjama bottoms down
> > > > >> > > > > > > > > > > >>> As for my father's belt I'd wait.
> > > > >> > > > > > > > > > > >>>
> > > > >> > > > > > > > > > > >>> Oh, if I were a millionaire
> > > > >> > > > > > > > > > > >>> I'd buy my father's house, and there
> > > > >> > > > > > > > > > > >>> I'd build a bonfire, oh so high
> > > > >> > > > > > > > > > > >>> Its flames would light up all the air.
> > > > >> > > > > > > > > > > >>>
> > > > >> > > > > > > > > > > >>> ~~
> > > > >> > > > > > > > > > > >>> George J. Dance
> > > > >> > > > > > > > > > > >>> from Logos and other logoi, 2021
> > > > >> > > > > > > > > > > >>
> > > > >> > > > > > > > > > > >> Read twice, outstanding work of poetry.....!
> > > > >> > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > >> > > > > > > > > > > > Thanks, Zod. It's a poem I'm proud of. I wrote the first draft quickly,
> > > > >> > > > > > > > > > > > but I spent several years tweaking it before it went into a book.
> > > > >> > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > >> > > > > > > > > > > > The big revision here is the rewrite to L2.. In the original discussion,
> > > > >> > > > > > > > > > > > one of the people trying to cut it to shreds was a poet, and amongst her
> > > > >> > > > > > > > > > > > complaints she had a criticism I thought valid: it's not clear that the
> > > > >> > > > > > > > > > > > speaker is the child of the poem now grown up. And I think realizing tht
> > > > >> > > > > > > > > > > > is essential to appreciating the thing. Having the father been dead for
> > > > >> > > > > > > > > > > > over a decade makes that much clearer.
> > > > >> > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > >> > > > > > > > > > > > As well, it makes certain things more ambiguous, and I think that's a
> > > > >> > > > > > > > > > > > plus as well. By taking out the old L2, it's no longer clear whether the
> > > > >> > > > > > > > > > > > house this guy is walking around in is abandoned, or still lived in.
> > > > >> > > > > > > > > > > > It's also unclear who "they" are; my hidden idea was that the speaker
> > > > >> > > > > > > > > > > > was under psychiatric care, ant "they" were the ones looking after him,
> > > > >> > > > > > > > > > > > but I wanted to keep that hidden.
> > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > It reminds me of a scene from Boardwalk Empire:
> > > > ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
> > > >
> > > > > https://youtu.be/m_VG3je3U-M
> > > >
> > > > ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
> > > > >> > > > > > > > > > Daddy’s Home
> > > > >> > > > > > > > > > https://fikklefame.com/daddys-home-ep-1-7-boardwalk-empire/
> > > > >> > > > > > > > > Good show, I watched the DVD collection.
> > > > >> > > > > > > > This is the first I’ve heard of it.
> > > > >> > > > > > > Most or all of the series is available through YouTube, I see:
> > > > >> > > > > > >
> > > > >> > > > > > > https://youtu.be/qRpqQsdU-dg
> > > > >> > > > > > The similarity between George Dance’s story of childhood abuse and Nucky’s is striking. Pun intended.
> > > > >> > > > > George Dance wrote his poem several years before Boardwalk Empire was created.
> > > > >> > > > Okay. So, what? I’m sure there are many survivors of abuse with similar stories, before and since.
> > > > >> > > No doubt.
> > > > >> > So, what point were you trying to make about George’s poem?
> > > > >> I explained that in my original post.
> > > > >>
> > > > >> HTH and HAND.
> > > >
> > > > > No, you didn’t
> > > > Yes, I did.
> > > >
> > > > See above ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
> > > I DON'T CARE
> > So why are you yelling about it?
> >
>
> PLONKY PLONKY

On Monday, November 28, 2022 at 10:05:34 AM UTC-5, george...@yahoo.ca wrote:
> On 2022-11-27 7:09 a.m., Spam-I-Am wrote:
> > On Sunday, November 27, 2022 at 6:39:31 AM UTC-5, Spam-I-Am wrote:
> >> On Saturday, November 26, 2022 at 3:49:07 PM UTC-5, george...@yahoo.ca wrote:
> >>> My Father's House
> >>>
> >>> This is my father's house, although
> >>> The man died thirteen years ago.
> >>> They said it would be quite all right
> >>> To take a drive to see it now.
> >>>
> >>> Dad laid those grey foundation blocks
> >>> And built the whole thing (from a box),
> >>> Toiling after each full day's work.
> >>> I helped, though I was only six.
> >>>
> >>> Look, here's the back door I would use
> >>> And here's where I'd remove my shoes
> >>> To enter; there I'd leave my things
> >>> And, when allowed, climb up these stairs.
> >>>
> >>> In this room I'd wash many a dish,
> >>> Gaze out this window, and I'd wish
> >>> To be so many other places.
> >>> (Wishy-washy? Oh, I guess!)
> >>>
> >>> Outside, the garden that he grew
> >>> Where I would work the summers through,
> >>> While watching my friends run and play
> >>> Mysterious games I never knew.
> >>>
> >>> That room's all changed; oh, where is it,
> >>> The one chair I was let to sit?
> >>> (For boys can be such filthy things.)
> >>> Which, the corner where boys were put?
> >>>
> >>> Oh ... down that hall there is a room
> >>> Where I'd be shut (as in a tomb)
> >>> After the meal, to make no noise,
> >>> To read or play alone, and then
> >>>
> >>> Lights out: in bed by nine each night,
> >>> Some nights wanting to pee with fright,
> >>> Face and pyjama bottoms down
> >>> As for my father's belt I'd wait.
> >>>
> >>> Oh, if I were a millionaire
> >>> I'd buy my father's house, and there
> >>> I'd build a bonfire, oh so high
> >>> Its flames would light up all the air.
> >>>
> >>> ~~
> >>> George J. Dance
> >>> from Logos and other logoi, 2021
> >> Okay, so the poem tells a story of remembered abuse.
> >> The extent to which the story in the poem reflects the
> >> true story of your life and memory is fundamentally
> >> irrelevant to the reader except to the extent that your
> >> life experience informs your ability to write emotionally
> >> convincing stories that are of interest to other people.
> >> When you say “My” father’s house, “By” George J. Dance,
> >> people are going to think you’re talking about yourself.
> >
> > Therefore, “my” recommendation is to change the title of “your” poem from
> > “My Father’s House” to “Our Father’s House”, and all of the relevant pronouns
> > from singular to plural possessive. “Our” Father’s House allows “you” to represent
> > and speak for “your” kin, those who identify with the speaker, and also provides a
> > subtle religious connotation, “Our Father, who art in heaven…”, that “My” does not.
> >
>
> Thanks for giving it so much thought and effort. I have to acknowledge
> that.
>
> Pluralizing all the pronouns would change the poem considerably, but one
> thing it wouldn't change is the confusion you mentioned. If someone
> thought this was a poem about my own father and childhood because it was
> titled "My Father's House," they'd be just as likely to think that if it
> were titled "Our Father's House".
>
> Except, of course, for that religious connotation; some might think it
> was a poem about God. But it's not a poem about God, and that's an
> interpretation I wouldn't want to encourage.
>
> > Lose the parentheses.
>
> I like them. They're both interruptions in the speaker's thought process.

Yes, I wondered why you would want to make the reader think the father of the poem was"God".

On Monday, November 28, 2022 at 1:37:28 PM UTC-5, Will Dockery wrote:
> On Monday, November 28, 2022 at 10:05:34 AM UTC-5, george...@yahoo.ca wrote:
> > On 2022-11-27 7:09 a.m., Spam-I-Am wrote:
> > > On Sunday, November 27, 2022 at 6:39:31 AM UTC-5, Spam-I-Am wrote:
> > >> On Saturday, November 26, 2022 at 3:49:07 PM UTC-5, george...@yahoo.ca wrote:
> > >>> My Father's House
> > >>>
> > >>> This is my father's house, although
> > >>> The man died thirteen years ago.
> > >>> They said it would be quite all right
> > >>> To take a drive to see it now.
> > >>>
> > >>> Dad laid those grey foundation blocks
> > >>> And built the whole thing (from a box),
> > >>> Toiling after each full day's work.
> > >>> I helped, though I was only six.
> > >>>
> > >>> Look, here's the back door I would use
> > >>> And here's where I'd remove my shoes
> > >>> To enter; there I'd leave my things
> > >>> And, when allowed, climb up these stairs.
> > >>>
> > >>> In this room I'd wash many a dish,
> > >>> Gaze out this window, and I'd wish
> > >>> To be so many other places.
> > >>> (Wishy-washy? Oh, I guess!)
> > >>>
> > >>> Outside, the garden that he grew
> > >>> Where I would work the summers through,
> > >>> While watching my friends run and play
> > >>> Mysterious games I never knew.
> > >>>
> > >>> That room's all changed; oh, where is it,
> > >>> The one chair I was let to sit?
> > >>> (For boys can be such filthy things.)
> > >>> Which, the corner where boys were put?
> > >>>
> > >>> Oh ... down that hall there is a room
> > >>> Where I'd be shut (as in a tomb)
> > >>> After the meal, to make no noise,
> > >>> To read or play alone, and then
> > >>>
> > >>> Lights out: in bed by nine each night,
> > >>> Some nights wanting to pee with fright,
> > >>> Face and pyjama bottoms down
> > >>> As for my father's belt I'd wait.
> > >>>
> > >>> Oh, if I were a millionaire
> > >>> I'd buy my father's house, and there
> > >>> I'd build a bonfire, oh so high
> > >>> Its flames would light up all the air.
> > >>>
> > >>> ~~
> > >>> George J. Dance
> > >>> from Logos and other logoi, 2021
> > >> Okay, so the poem tells a story of remembered abuse.
> > >> The extent to which the story in the poem reflects the
> > >> true story of your life and memory is fundamentally
> > >> irrelevant to the reader except to the extent that your
> > >> life experience informs your ability to write emotionally
> > >> convincing stories that are of interest to other people.
> > >> When you say “My” father’s house, “By” George J. Dance,
> > >> people are going to think you’re talking about yourself.
> > >
> > > Therefore, “my” recommendation is to change the title of “your” poem from
> > > “My Father’s House” to “Our Father’s House”, and all of the relevant pronouns
> > > from singular to plural possessive. “Our” Father’s House allows “you” to represent
> > > and speak for “your” kin, those who identify with the speaker, and also provides a
> > > subtle religious connotation, “Our Father, who art in heaven…”, that “My” does not.
> > >
> >
> > Thanks for giving it so much thought and effort. I have to acknowledge
> > that.
> >
> > Pluralizing all the pronouns would change the poem considerably, but one
> > thing it wouldn't change is the confusion you mentioned. If someone
> > thought this was a poem about my own father and childhood because it was
> > titled "My Father's House," they'd be just as likely to think that if it
> > were titled "Our Father's House".
> >
> > Except, of course, for that religious connotation; some might think it
> > was a poem about God. But it's not a poem about God, and that's an
> > interpretation I wouldn't want to encourage.
> >
> > > Lose the parentheses.
> >
> > I like them. They're both interruptions in the speaker's thought process.
> Yes, I wondered why you would want to make the reader think the father of the poem was"God".

Exactly.

On Monday, November 28, 2022 at 2:02:35 PM UTC-5, Spam-I-Am wrote:
> On Monday, November 28, 2022 at 1:37:28 PM UTC-5, Will Dockery wrote:
> > On Monday, November 28, 2022 at 10:05:34 AM UTC-5, george...@yahoo.ca wrote:
> > > On 2022-11-27 7:09 a.m., Spam-I-Am wrote:
> > > > On Sunday, November 27, 2022 at 6:39:31 AM UTC-5, Spam-I-Am wrote:
> > > >> On Saturday, November 26, 2022 at 3:49:07 PM UTC-5, george...@yahoo.ca wrote:
> > > >>> My Father's House
> > > >>>
> > > >>> This is my father's house, although
> > > >>> The man died thirteen years ago.
> > > >>> They said it would be quite all right
> > > >>> To take a drive to see it now.
> > > >>>
> > > >>> Dad laid those grey foundation blocks
> > > >>> And built the whole thing (from a box),
> > > >>> Toiling after each full day's work.
> > > >>> I helped, though I was only six.
> > > >>>
> > > >>> Look, here's the back door I would use
> > > >>> And here's where I'd remove my shoes
> > > >>> To enter; there I'd leave my things
> > > >>> And, when allowed, climb up these stairs.
> > > >>>
> > > >>> In this room I'd wash many a dish,
> > > >>> Gaze out this window, and I'd wish
> > > >>> To be so many other places.
> > > >>> (Wishy-washy? Oh, I guess!)
> > > >>>
> > > >>> Outside, the garden that he grew
> > > >>> Where I would work the summers through,
> > > >>> While watching my friends run and play
> > > >>> Mysterious games I never knew.
> > > >>>
> > > >>> That room's all changed; oh, where is it,
> > > >>> The one chair I was let to sit?
> > > >>> (For boys can be such filthy things.)
> > > >>> Which, the corner where boys were put?
> > > >>>
> > > >>> Oh ... down that hall there is a room
> > > >>> Where I'd be shut (as in a tomb)
> > > >>> After the meal, to make no noise,
> > > >>> To read or play alone, and then
> > > >>>
> > > >>> Lights out: in bed by nine each night,
> > > >>> Some nights wanting to pee with fright,
> > > >>> Face and pyjama bottoms down
> > > >>> As for my father's belt I'd wait.
> > > >>>
> > > >>> Oh, if I were a millionaire
> > > >>> I'd buy my father's house, and there
> > > >>> I'd build a bonfire, oh so high
> > > >>> Its flames would light up all the air.
> > > >>>
> > > >>> ~~
> > > >>> George J. Dance
> > > >>> from Logos and other logoi, 2021
> > > >> Okay, so the poem tells a story of remembered abuse.
> > > >> The extent to which the story in the poem reflects the
> > > >> true story of your life and memory is fundamentally
> > > >> irrelevant to the reader except to the extent that your
> > > >> life experience informs your ability to write emotionally
> > > >> convincing stories that are of interest to other people.
> > > >> When you say “My” father’s house, “By” George J. Dance,
> > > >> people are going to think you’re talking about yourself.
> > > >
> > > > Therefore, “my” recommendation is to change the title of “your” poem from
> > > > “My Father’s House” to “Our Father’s House”, and all of the relevant pronouns
> > > > from singular to plural possessive. “Our” Father’s House allows “you” to represent
> > > > and speak for “your” kin, those who identify with the speaker, and also provides a
> > > > subtle religious connotation, “Our Father, who art in heaven…”, that “My” does not.
> > > >
> > >
> > > Thanks for giving it so much thought and effort. I have to acknowledge
> > > that.
> > >
> > > Pluralizing all the pronouns would change the poem considerably, but one
> > > thing it wouldn't change is the confusion you mentioned. If someone
> > > thought this was a poem about my own father and childhood because it was
> > > titled "My Father's House," they'd be just as likely to think that if it
> > > were titled "Our Father's House".
> > >
> > > Except, of course, for that religious connotation; some might think it
> > > was a poem about God. But it's not a poem about God, and that's an
> > > interpretation I wouldn't want to encourage.
> > >
> > > > Lose the parentheses.
> > >
> > > I like them. They're both interruptions in the speaker's thought process.
> > Yes, I wondered why you would want to make the reader think the father of the poem was"God".
> Exactly.

Something we can agree on, then.

🙂

On Monday, November 28, 2022 at 3:34:48 PM UTC-5, Will Dockery wrote:
> On Monday, November 28, 2022 at 2:02:35 PM UTC-5, Spam-I-Am wrote:
> > On Monday, November 28, 2022 at 1:37:28 PM UTC-5, Will Dockery wrote:
> > > On Monday, November 28, 2022 at 10:05:34 AM UTC-5, george...@yahoo.ca wrote:
> > > > On 2022-11-27 7:09 a.m., Spam-I-Am wrote:
> > > > > On Sunday, November 27, 2022 at 6:39:31 AM UTC-5, Spam-I-Am wrote:
> > > > >> On Saturday, November 26, 2022 at 3:49:07 PM UTC-5, george...@yahoo.ca wrote:
> > > > >>> My Father's House
> > > > >>>
> > > > >>> This is my father's house, although
> > > > >>> The man died thirteen years ago.
> > > > >>> They said it would be quite all right
> > > > >>> To take a drive to see it now.
> > > > >>>
> > > > >>> Dad laid those grey foundation blocks
> > > > >>> And built the whole thing (from a box),
> > > > >>> Toiling after each full day's work.
> > > > >>> I helped, though I was only six.
> > > > >>>
> > > > >>> Look, here's the back door I would use
> > > > >>> And here's where I'd remove my shoes
> > > > >>> To enter; there I'd leave my things
> > > > >>> And, when allowed, climb up these stairs.
> > > > >>>
> > > > >>> In this room I'd wash many a dish,
> > > > >>> Gaze out this window, and I'd wish
> > > > >>> To be so many other places.
> > > > >>> (Wishy-washy? Oh, I guess!)
> > > > >>>
> > > > >>> Outside, the garden that he grew
> > > > >>> Where I would work the summers through,
> > > > >>> While watching my friends run and play
> > > > >>> Mysterious games I never knew.
> > > > >>>
> > > > >>> That room's all changed; oh, where is it,
> > > > >>> The one chair I was let to sit?
> > > > >>> (For boys can be such filthy things.)
> > > > >>> Which, the corner where boys were put?
> > > > >>>
> > > > >>> Oh ... down that hall there is a room
> > > > >>> Where I'd be shut (as in a tomb)
> > > > >>> After the meal, to make no noise,
> > > > >>> To read or play alone, and then
> > > > >>>
> > > > >>> Lights out: in bed by nine each night,
> > > > >>> Some nights wanting to pee with fright,
> > > > >>> Face and pyjama bottoms down
> > > > >>> As for my father's belt I'd wait.
> > > > >>>
> > > > >>> Oh, if I were a millionaire
> > > > >>> I'd buy my father's house, and there
> > > > >>> I'd build a bonfire, oh so high
> > > > >>> Its flames would light up all the air.
> > > > >>>
> > > > >>> ~~
> > > > >>> George J. Dance
> > > > >>> from Logos and other logoi, 2021
> > > > >> Okay, so the poem tells a story of remembered abuse.
> > > > >> The extent to which the story in the poem reflects the
> > > > >> true story of your life and memory is fundamentally
> > > > >> irrelevant to the reader except to the extent that your
> > > > >> life experience informs your ability to write emotionally
> > > > >> convincing stories that are of interest to other people.
> > > > >> When you say “My” father’s house, “By” George J. Dance,
> > > > >> people are going to think you’re talking about yourself.
> > > > >
> > > > > Therefore, “my” recommendation is to change the title of “your” poem from
> > > > > “My Father’s House” to “Our Father’s House”, and all of the relevant pronouns
> > > > > from singular to plural possessive. “Our” Father’s House allows “you” to represent
> > > > > and speak for “your” kin, those who identify with the speaker, and also provides a
> > > > > subtle religious connotation, “Our Father, who art in heaven…”, that “My” does not.
> > > > >
> > > >
> > > > Thanks for giving it so much thought and effort. I have to acknowledge
> > > > that.
> > > >
> > > > Pluralizing all the pronouns would change the poem considerably, but one
> > > > thing it wouldn't change is the confusion you mentioned. If someone
> > > > thought this was a poem about my own father and childhood because it was
> > > > titled "My Father's House," they'd be just as likely to think that if it
> > > > were titled "Our Father's House".
> > > >
> > > > Except, of course, for that religious connotation; some might think it
> > > > was a poem about God. But it's not a poem about God, and that's an
> > > > interpretation I wouldn't want to encourage.
> > > >
> > > > > Lose the parentheses.
> > > >
> > > > I like them. They're both interruptions in the speaker's thought process.
> > > Yes, I wondered why you would want to make the reader think the father of the poem was"God".
> > Exactly.
> Something we can agree on, then.
>
> 🙂

What is that?

Spam-I-Am wrote:

> On Monday, November 28, 2022 at 3:34:48 PM UTC-5, Will Dockery wrote:
>> On Monday, November 28, 2022 at 2:02:35 PM UTC-5, Spam-I-Am wrote:
>> > On Monday, November 28, 2022 at 1:37:28 PM UTC-5, Will Dockery wrote:
>> > > On Monday, November 28, 2022 at 10:05:34 AM UTC-5, george...@yahoo.ca wrote:
>
>> > > > >>> My Father's House
>> > > > >>>
>> > > > >>> This is my father's house, although
>> > > > >>> The man died thirteen years ago.
>> > > > >>> They said it would be quite all right
>> > > > >>> To take a drive to see it now.
>> > > > >>>
>> > > > >>> Dad laid those grey foundation blocks
>> > > > >>> And built the whole thing (from a box),
>> > > > >>> Toiling after each full day's work.
>> > > > >>> I helped, though I was only six.
>> > > > >>>
>> > > > >>> Look, here's the back door I would use
>> > > > >>> And here's where I'd remove my shoes
>> > > > >>> To enter; there I'd leave my things
>> > > > >>> And, when allowed, climb up these stairs.
>> > > > >>>
>> > > > >>> In this room I'd wash many a dish,
>> > > > >>> Gaze out this window, and I'd wish
>> > > > >>> To be so many other places.
>> > > > >>> (Wishy-washy? Oh, I guess!)
>> > > > >>>
>> > > > >>> Outside, the garden that he grew
>> > > > >>> Where I would work the summers through,
>> > > > >>> While watching my friends run and play
>> > > > >>> Mysterious games I never knew.
>> > > > >>>
>> > > > >>> That room's all changed; oh, where is it,
>> > > > >>> The one chair I was let to sit?
>> > > > >>> (For boys can be such filthy things.)
>> > > > >>> Which, the corner where boys were put?
>> > > > >>>
>> > > > >>> Oh ... down that hall there is a room
>> > > > >>> Where I'd be shut (as in a tomb)
>> > > > >>> After the meal, to make no noise,
>> > > > >>> To read or play alone, and then
>> > > > >>>
>> > > > >>> Lights out: in bed by nine each night,
>> > > > >>> Some nights wanting to pee with fright,
>> > > > >>> Face and pyjama bottoms down
>> > > > >>> As for my father's belt I'd wait.
>> > > > >>>
>> > > > >>> Oh, if I were a millionaire
>> > > > >>> I'd buy my father's house, and there
>> > > > >>> I'd build a bonfire, oh so high
>> > > > >>> Its flames would light up all the air.
>> > > > >>>
>> > > > >>> ~~
>> > > > >>> George J. Dance
>> > > > >>> from Logos and other logoi, 2021
>> > > > >> Okay, so the poem tells a story of remembered abuse.
>> > > > >> The extent to which the story in the poem reflects the
>> > > > >> true story of your life and memory is fundamentally
>> > > > >> irrelevant to the reader except to the extent that your
>> > > > >> life experience informs your ability to write emotionally
>> > > > >> convincing stories that are of interest to other people.
>> > > > >> When you say “My” father’s house, “By” George J. Dance,
>> > > > >> people are going to think you’re talking about yourself.
>> > > > >
>> > > > > Therefore, “my” recommendation is to change the title of “your” poem from
>> > > > > “My Father’s House” to “Our Father’s House”, and all of the relevant pronouns
>> > > > > from singular to plural possessive. “Our” Father’s House allows “you” to represent
>> > > > > and speak for “your” kin, those who identify with the speaker, and also provides a
>> > > > > subtle religious connotation, “Our Father, who art in heaven…”, that “My” does not.
>> > > > >
>> > > >
>> > > > Thanks for giving it so much thought and effort. I have to acknowledge
>> > > > that.
>> > > >
>> > > > Pluralizing all the pronouns would change the poem considerably, but one
>> > > > thing it wouldn't change is the confusion you mentioned. If someone
>> > > > thought this was a poem about my own father and childhood because it was
>> > > > titled "My Father's House," they'd be just as likely to think that if it
>> > > > were titled "Our Father's House".
>> > > >
>> > > > Except, of course, for that religious connotation; some might think it
>> > > > was a poem about God. But it's not a poem about God, and that's an
>> > > > interpretation I wouldn't want to encourage.
>> > > >
>> > > > > Lose the parentheses.
>> > > >
>> > > > I like them. They're both interruptions in the speaker's thought process.
>> > > Yes, I wondered why you would want to make the reader think the father of the poem was "God".
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

>> > Exactly.
>> Something we can agree on, then.
>>
>> 🙂

> What is that?

What I wrote. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

On Monday, November 28, 2022 at 1:37:28 PM UTC-5, George Dance wrote:
> > On 2022-11-27 7:09 a.m., Spam-I-Am wrote:
> > > On Sunday, November 27, 2022 at 6:39:31 AM UTC-5, Spam-I-Am wrote:
> > >> On Saturday, November 26, 2022 at 3:49:07 PM UTC-5, george...@yahoo.ca wrote:
> > >>> My Father's House
> > >>>
> > >>> This is my father's house, although
> > >>> The man died thirteen years ago.
> > >>> They said it would be quite all right
> > >>> To take a drive to see it now.
> > >>>
> > >>> Dad laid those grey foundation blocks
> > >>> And built the whole thing (from a box),
> > >>> Toiling after each full day's work.
> > >>> I helped, though I was only six.
> > >>>
> > >>> Look, here's the back door I would use
> > >>> And here's where I'd remove my shoes
> > >>> To enter; there I'd leave my things
> > >>> And, when allowed, climb up these stairs.
> > >>>
> > >>> In this room I'd wash many a dish,
> > >>> Gaze out this window, and I'd wish
> > >>> To be so many other places.
> > >>> (Wishy-washy? Oh, I guess!)
> > >>>
> > >>> Outside, the garden that he grew
> > >>> Where I would work the summers through,
> > >>> While watching my friends run and play
> > >>> Mysterious games I never knew.
> > >>>
> > >>> That room's all changed; oh, where is it,
> > >>> The one chair I was let to sit?
> > >>> (For boys can be such filthy things.)
> > >>> Which, the corner where boys were put?
> > >>>
> > >>> Oh ... down that hall there is a room
> > >>> Where I'd be shut (as in a tomb)
> > >>> After the meal, to make no noise,
> > >>> To read or play alone, and then
> > >>>
> > >>> Lights out: in bed by nine each night,
> > >>> Some nights wanting to pee with fright,
> > >>> Face and pyjama bottoms down
> > >>> As for my father's belt I'd wait.
> > >>>
> > >>> Oh, if I were a millionaire
> > >>> I'd buy my father's house, and there
> > >>> I'd build a bonfire, oh so high
> > >>> Its flames would light up all the air.
> > >>>
> > >>> ~~
> > >>> George J. Dance
> > >>> from Logos and other logoi, 2021
> > >> Okay, so the poem tells a story of remembered abuse.
> > >> The extent to which the story in the poem reflects the
> > >> true story of your life and memory is fundamentally
> > >> irrelevant to the reader except to the extent that your
> > >> life experience informs your ability to write emotionally
> > >> convincing stories that are of interest to other people.
> > >> When you say “My” father’s house, “By” George J. Dance,
> > >> people are going to think you’re talking about yourself.
> > >
> > > Therefore, “my” recommendation is to change the title of “your” poem from
> > > “My Father’s House” to “Our Father’s House”, and all of the relevant pronouns
> > > from singular to plural possessive. “Our” Father’s House allows “you” to represent
> > > and speak for “your” kin, those who identify with the speaker, and also provides a
> > > subtle religious connotation, “Our Father, who art in heaven…”, that “My” does not.
> > >
> >
> > Thanks for giving it so much thought and effort. I have to acknowledge
> > that.
> >
> > Pluralizing all the pronouns would change the poem considerably, but one
> > thing it wouldn't change is the confusion you mentioned. If someone
> > thought this was a poem about my own father and childhood because it was
> > titled "My Father's House," they'd be just as likely to think that if it
> > were titled "Our Father's House".
> >
> > Except, of course, for that religious connotation; some might think it
> > was a poem about God. But it's not a poem about God, and that's an
> > interpretation I wouldn't want to encourage.
> >
> > > Lose the parentheses.
> >
> >
> I like them. They're both interruptions in the speaker's thought process.

Like I said, yes, I wondered why you would want to make the reader think the father of the poem was"God".

HTH and HAND.

On Monday, November 28, 2022 at 4:22:29 PM UTC-5, Will Dockery wrote:
> On Monday, November 28, 2022 at 1:37:28 PM UTC-5, George Dance wrote:
> > > On 2022-11-27 7:09 a.m., Spam-I-Am wrote:
> > > > On Sunday, November 27, 2022 at 6:39:31 AM UTC-5, Spam-I-Am wrote:
> > > >> On Saturday, November 26, 2022 at 3:49:07 PM UTC-5, george...@yahoo.ca wrote:
> > > >>> My Father's House
> > > >>>
> > > >>> This is my father's house, although
> > > >>> The man died thirteen years ago.
> > > >>> They said it would be quite all right
> > > >>> To take a drive to see it now.
> > > >>>
> > > >>> Dad laid those grey foundation blocks
> > > >>> And built the whole thing (from a box),
> > > >>> Toiling after each full day's work.
> > > >>> I helped, though I was only six.
> > > >>>
> > > >>> Look, here's the back door I would use
> > > >>> And here's where I'd remove my shoes
> > > >>> To enter; there I'd leave my things
> > > >>> And, when allowed, climb up these stairs.
> > > >>>
> > > >>> In this room I'd wash many a dish,
> > > >>> Gaze out this window, and I'd wish
> > > >>> To be so many other places.
> > > >>> (Wishy-washy? Oh, I guess!)
> > > >>>
> > > >>> Outside, the garden that he grew
> > > >>> Where I would work the summers through,
> > > >>> While watching my friends run and play
> > > >>> Mysterious games I never knew.
> > > >>>
> > > >>> That room's all changed; oh, where is it,
> > > >>> The one chair I was let to sit?
> > > >>> (For boys can be such filthy things.)
> > > >>> Which, the corner where boys were put?
> > > >>>
> > > >>> Oh ... down that hall there is a room
> > > >>> Where I'd be shut (as in a tomb)
> > > >>> After the meal, to make no noise,
> > > >>> To read or play alone, and then
> > > >>>
> > > >>> Lights out: in bed by nine each night,
> > > >>> Some nights wanting to pee with fright,
> > > >>> Face and pyjama bottoms down
> > > >>> As for my father's belt I'd wait.
> > > >>>
> > > >>> Oh, if I were a millionaire
> > > >>> I'd buy my father's house, and there
> > > >>> I'd build a bonfire, oh so high
> > > >>> Its flames would light up all the air.
> > > >>>
> > > >>> ~~
> > > >>> George J. Dance
> > > >>> from Logos and other logoi, 2021
> > > >> Okay, so the poem tells a story of remembered abuse.
> > > >> The extent to which the story in the poem reflects the
> > > >> true story of your life and memory is fundamentally
> > > >> irrelevant to the reader except to the extent that your
> > > >> life experience informs your ability to write emotionally
> > > >> convincing stories that are of interest to other people.
> > > >> When you say “My” father’s house, “By” George J. Dance,
> > > >> people are going to think you’re talking about yourself.
> > > >
> > > > Therefore, “my” recommendation is to change the title of “your” poem from
> > > > “My Father’s House” to “Our Father’s House”, and all of the relevant pronouns
> > > > from singular to plural possessive. “Our” Father’s House allows “you” to represent
> > > > and speak for “your” kin, those who identify with the speaker, and also provides a
> > > > subtle religious connotation, “Our Father, who art in heaven…”, that “My” does not.
> > > >
> > >
> > > Thanks for giving it so much thought and effort. I have to acknowledge
> > > that.
> > >
> > > Pluralizing all the pronouns would change the poem considerably, but one
> > > thing it wouldn't change is the confusion you mentioned. If someone
> > > thought this was a poem about my own father and childhood because it was
> > > titled "My Father's House," they'd be just as likely to think that if it
> > > were titled "Our Father's House".
> > >
> > > Except, of course, for that religious connotation; some might think it
> > > was a poem about God. But it's not a poem about God, and that's an
> > > interpretation I wouldn't want to encourage.
> > >
> > > > Lose the parentheses.
> > >
> > >
> > I like them. They're both interruptions in the speaker's thought process.
> Like I said, yes, I wondered why you would want to make the reader think the father of the poem was"God".
>
> HTH and HAND.

Like he said, he didn’t.

On Monday, November 28, 2022 at 4:26:10 PM UTC-5, Spam-I-Am wrote:
> On Monday, November 28, 2022 at 4:22:29 PM UTC-5, Will Dockery wrote:
> > On Monday, November 28, 2022 at 1:37:28 PM UTC-5, George Dance wrote:
> > > > On 2022-11-27 7:09 a.m., Spam-I-Am wrote:
> > > > > On Sunday, November 27, 2022 at 6:39:31 AM UTC-5, Spam-I-Am wrote:
> > > > >> On Saturday, November 26, 2022 at 3:49:07 PM UTC-5, george...@yahoo.ca wrote:
> > > > >>> My Father's House
> > > > >>>
> > > > >>> This is my father's house, although
> > > > >>> The man died thirteen years ago.
> > > > >>> They said it would be quite all right
> > > > >>> To take a drive to see it now.
> > > > >>>
> > > > >>> Dad laid those grey foundation blocks
> > > > >>> And built the whole thing (from a box),
> > > > >>> Toiling after each full day's work.
> > > > >>> I helped, though I was only six.
> > > > >>>
> > > > >>> Look, here's the back door I would use
> > > > >>> And here's where I'd remove my shoes
> > > > >>> To enter; there I'd leave my things
> > > > >>> And, when allowed, climb up these stairs.
> > > > >>>
> > > > >>> In this room I'd wash many a dish,
> > > > >>> Gaze out this window, and I'd wish
> > > > >>> To be so many other places.
> > > > >>> (Wishy-washy? Oh, I guess!)
> > > > >>>
> > > > >>> Outside, the garden that he grew
> > > > >>> Where I would work the summers through,
> > > > >>> While watching my friends run and play
> > > > >>> Mysterious games I never knew.
> > > > >>>
> > > > >>> That room's all changed; oh, where is it,
> > > > >>> The one chair I was let to sit?
> > > > >>> (For boys can be such filthy things.)
> > > > >>> Which, the corner where boys were put?
> > > > >>>
> > > > >>> Oh ... down that hall there is a room
> > > > >>> Where I'd be shut (as in a tomb)
> > > > >>> After the meal, to make no noise,
> > > > >>> To read or play alone, and then
> > > > >>>
> > > > >>> Lights out: in bed by nine each night,
> > > > >>> Some nights wanting to pee with fright,
> > > > >>> Face and pyjama bottoms down
> > > > >>> As for my father's belt I'd wait.
> > > > >>>
> > > > >>> Oh, if I were a millionaire
> > > > >>> I'd buy my father's house, and there
> > > > >>> I'd build a bonfire, oh so high
> > > > >>> Its flames would light up all the air.
> > > > >>>
> > > > >>> ~~
> > > > >>> George J. Dance
> > > > >>> from Logos and other logoi, 2021
> > > > >> Okay, so the poem tells a story of remembered abuse.
> > > > >> The extent to which the story in the poem reflects the
> > > > >> true story of your life and memory is fundamentally
> > > > >> irrelevant to the reader except to the extent that your
> > > > >> life experience informs your ability to write emotionally
> > > > >> convincing stories that are of interest to other people.
> > > > >> When you say “My” father’s house, “By” George J. Dance,
> > > > >> people are going to think you’re talking about yourself.
> > > > >
> > > > > Therefore, “my” recommendation is to change the title of “your” poem from
> > > > > “My Father’s House” to “Our Father’s House”, and all of the relevant pronouns
> > > > > from singular to plural possessive. “Our” Father’s House allows “you” to represent
> > > > > and speak for “your” kin, those who identify with the speaker, and also provides a
> > > > > subtle religious connotation, “Our Father, who art in heaven…”, that “My” does not.
> > > > >
> > > >
> > > > Thanks for giving it so much thought and effort. I have to acknowledge
> > > > that.
> > > >
> > > > Pluralizing all the pronouns would change the poem considerably, but one
> > > > thing it wouldn't change is the confusion you mentioned. If someone
> > > > thought this was a poem about my own father and childhood because it was
> > > > titled "My Father's House," they'd be just as likely to think that if it
> > > > were titled "Our Father's House".
> > > >
> > > > Except, of course, for that religious connotation; some might think it
> > > > was a poem about God. But it's not a poem about God, and that's an
> > > > interpretation I wouldn't want to encourage.
> > > >
> > > > > Lose the parentheses.
> > > >
> > > >
> > > I like them. They're both interruptions in the speaker's thought process.
> > Like I said, yes, I wondered why you would want to make the reader think the father of the poem was"God".
> >
> > HTH and HAND.
> Like he said, he didn’t.

Right, because your suggestion made no sense to the poem.

🙂

On Monday, November 28, 2022 at 10:05:34 AM UTC-5, george...@yahoo.ca wrote:
> On 2022-11-27 7:09 a.m., Spam-I-Am wrote:
> > On Sunday, November 27, 2022 at 6:39:31 AM UTC-5, Spam-I-Am wrote:
> >> On Saturday, November 26, 2022 at 3:49:07 PM UTC-5, george...@yahoo.ca wrote:
>
> >>> My Father's House
> >>>
> >>> This is my father's house, although
> >>> The man died thirteen years ago.
> >>> They said it would be quite all right
> >>> To take a drive to see it now.
> >>>
> >>> Dad laid those grey foundation blocks
> >>> And built the whole thing (from a box),
> >>> Toiling after each full day's work.
> >>> I helped, though I was only six.
> >>>
> >>> Look, here's the back door I would use
> >>> And here's where I'd remove my shoes
> >>> To enter; there I'd leave my things
> >>> And, when allowed, climb up these stairs.
> >>>
> >>> In this room I'd wash many a dish,
> >>> Gaze out this window, and I'd wish
> >>> To be so many other places.
> >>> (Wishy-washy? Oh, I guess!)
> >>>
> >>> Outside, the garden that he grew
> >>> Where I would work the summers through,
> >>> While watching my friends run and play
> >>> Mysterious games I never knew.
> >>>
> >>> That room's all changed; oh, where is it,
> >>> The one chair I was let to sit?
> >>> (For boys can be such filthy things.)
> >>> Which, the corner where boys were put?
> >>>
> >>> Oh ... down that hall there is a room
> >>> Where I'd be shut (as in a tomb)
> >>> After the meal, to make no noise,
> >>> To read or play alone, and then
> >>>
> >>> Lights out: in bed by nine each night,
> >>> Some nights wanting to pee with fright,
> >>> Face and pyjama bottoms down
> >>> As for my father's belt I'd wait.
> >>>
> >>> Oh, if I were a millionaire
> >>> I'd buy my father's house, and there
> >>> I'd build a bonfire, oh so high
> >>> Its flames would light up all the air.
> >>>
> >>> ~~
> >>> George J. Dance
> >>> from Logos and other logoi, 2021
> >> Okay, so the poem tells a story of remembered abuse.
> >> The extent to which the story in the poem reflects the
> >> true story of your life and memory is fundamentally
> >> irrelevant to the reader except to the extent that your
> >> life experience informs your ability to write emotionally
> >> convincing stories that are of interest to other people.
> >> When you say “My” father’s house, “By” George J. Dance,
> >> people are going to think you’re talking about yourself.
> >
> > Therefore, “my” recommendation is to change the title of “your” poem from
> > “My Father’s House” to “Our Father’s House”, and all of the relevant pronouns
> > from singular to plural possessive. “Our” Father’s House allows “you” to represent
> > and speak for “your” kin, those who identify with the speaker, and also provides a
> > subtle religious connotation, “Our Father, who art in heaven…”, that “My” does not.
> >
>
> Thanks for giving it so much thought and effort. I have to acknowledge
> that.
>
> Pluralizing all the pronouns would change the poem considerably, but one
> thing it wouldn't change is the confusion you mentioned. If someone
> thought this was a poem about my own father and childhood because it was
> titled "My Father's House," they'd be just as likely to think that if it
> were titled "Our Father's House".
>
> Except, of course, for that religious connotation; some might think it
> was a poem about God. But it's not a poem about God, and that's an
> interpretation I wouldn't want to encourage.
>
> > Lose the parentheses.
>
> I like them. They're both interruptions in the speaker's thought process.

Quite well put....

On Monday, November 28, 2022 at 4:28:55 PM UTC-5, Will Dockery wrote:
> On Monday, November 28, 2022 at 4:26:10 PM UTC-5, Spam-I-Am wrote:
> > On Monday, November 28, 2022 at 4:22:29 PM UTC-5, Will Dockery wrote:
> > > On Monday, November 28, 2022 at 1:37:28 PM UTC-5, George Dance wrote:
> > > > > On 2022-11-27 7:09 a.m., Spam-I-Am wrote:
> > > > > > On Sunday, November 27, 2022 at 6:39:31 AM UTC-5, Spam-I-Am wrote:
> > > > > >> On Saturday, November 26, 2022 at 3:49:07 PM UTC-5, george...@yahoo.ca wrote:
> > > > > >>> My Father's House
> > > > > >>>
> > > > > >>> This is my father's house, although
> > > > > >>> The man died thirteen years ago.
> > > > > >>> They said it would be quite all right
> > > > > >>> To take a drive to see it now.
> > > > > >>>
> > > > > >>> Dad laid those grey foundation blocks
> > > > > >>> And built the whole thing (from a box),
> > > > > >>> Toiling after each full day's work.
> > > > > >>> I helped, though I was only six.
> > > > > >>>
> > > > > >>> Look, here's the back door I would use
> > > > > >>> And here's where I'd remove my shoes
> > > > > >>> To enter; there I'd leave my things
> > > > > >>> And, when allowed, climb up these stairs.
> > > > > >>>
> > > > > >>> In this room I'd wash many a dish,
> > > > > >>> Gaze out this window, and I'd wish
> > > > > >>> To be so many other places.
> > > > > >>> (Wishy-washy? Oh, I guess!)
> > > > > >>>
> > > > > >>> Outside, the garden that he grew
> > > > > >>> Where I would work the summers through,
> > > > > >>> While watching my friends run and play
> > > > > >>> Mysterious games I never knew.
> > > > > >>>
> > > > > >>> That room's all changed; oh, where is it,
> > > > > >>> The one chair I was let to sit?
> > > > > >>> (For boys can be such filthy things.)
> > > > > >>> Which, the corner where boys were put?
> > > > > >>>
> > > > > >>> Oh ... down that hall there is a room
> > > > > >>> Where I'd be shut (as in a tomb)
> > > > > >>> After the meal, to make no noise,
> > > > > >>> To read or play alone, and then
> > > > > >>>
> > > > > >>> Lights out: in bed by nine each night,
> > > > > >>> Some nights wanting to pee with fright,
> > > > > >>> Face and pyjama bottoms down
> > > > > >>> As for my father's belt I'd wait.
> > > > > >>>
> > > > > >>> Oh, if I were a millionaire
> > > > > >>> I'd buy my father's house, and there
> > > > > >>> I'd build a bonfire, oh so high
> > > > > >>> Its flames would light up all the air.
> > > > > >>>
> > > > > >>> ~~
> > > > > >>> George J. Dance
> > > > > >>> from Logos and other logoi, 2021
> > > > > >> Okay, so the poem tells a story of remembered abuse.
> > > > > >> The extent to which the story in the poem reflects the
> > > > > >> true story of your life and memory is fundamentally
> > > > > >> irrelevant to the reader except to the extent that your
> > > > > >> life experience informs your ability to write emotionally
> > > > > >> convincing stories that are of interest to other people.
> > > > > >> When you say “My” father’s house, “By” George J. Dance,
> > > > > >> people are going to think you’re talking about yourself.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Therefore, “my” recommendation is to change the title of “your” poem from
> > > > > > “My Father’s House” to “Our Father’s House”, and all of the relevant pronouns
> > > > > > from singular to plural possessive. “Our” Father’s House allows “you” to represent
> > > > > > and speak for “your” kin, those who identify with the speaker, and also provides a
> > > > > > subtle religious connotation, “Our Father, who art in heaven…”, that “My” does not.
> > > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > > Thanks for giving it so much thought and effort. I have to acknowledge
> > > > > that.
> > > > >
> > > > > Pluralizing all the pronouns would change the poem considerably, but one
> > > > > thing it wouldn't change is the confusion you mentioned. If someone
> > > > > thought this was a poem about my own father and childhood because it was
> > > > > titled "My Father's House," they'd be just as likely to think that if it
> > > > > were titled "Our Father's House".
> > > > >
> > > > > Except, of course, for that religious connotation; some might think it
> > > > > was a poem about God. But it's not a poem about God, and that's an
> > > > > interpretation I wouldn't want to encourage.
> > > > >
> > > > > > Lose the parentheses.
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > I like them. They're both interruptions in the speaker's thought process.
> > > Like I said, yes, I wondered why you would want to make the reader think the father of the poem was"God".
> > >
> > > HTH and HAND.
> > Like he said, he didn’t.
> Right, because your suggestion made no sense to the poem.
>
> 🙂

Okay, if you say so. No worries.

On Monday, November 28, 2022 at 4:22:29 PM UTC-5, Will Dockery wrote:
> On Monday, November 28, 2022 at 1:37:28 PM UTC-5, George Dance wrote:
> > > On 2022-11-27 7:09 a.m., Spam-I-Am wrote:
> > > > On Sunday, November 27, 2022 at 6:39:31 AM UTC-5, george...@yahoo.ca wrote:
>
> > > >>> My Father's House
> > > >>>
> > > >>> This is my father's house, although
> > > >>> The man died thirteen years ago.
> > > >>> They said it would be quite all right
> > > >>> To take a drive to see it now.
> > > >>>
> > > >>> Dad laid those grey foundation blocks
> > > >>> And built the whole thing (from a box),
> > > >>> Toiling after each full day's work.
> > > >>> I helped, though I was only six.
> > > >>>
> > > >>> Look, here's the back door I would use
> > > >>> And here's where I'd remove my shoes
> > > >>> To enter; there I'd leave my things
> > > >>> And, when allowed, climb up these stairs.
> > > >>>
> > > >>> In this room I'd wash many a dish,
> > > >>> Gaze out this window, and I'd wish
> > > >>> To be so many other places.
> > > >>> (Wishy-washy? Oh, I guess!)
> > > >>>
> > > >>> Outside, the garden that he grew
> > > >>> Where I would work the summers through,
> > > >>> While watching my friends run and play
> > > >>> Mysterious games I never knew.
> > > >>>
> > > >>> That room's all changed; oh, where is it,
> > > >>> The one chair I was let to sit?
> > > >>> (For boys can be such filthy things.)
> > > >>> Which, the corner where boys were put?
> > > >>>
> > > >>> Oh ... down that hall there is a room
> > > >>> Where I'd be shut (as in a tomb)
> > > >>> After the meal, to make no noise,
> > > >>> To read or play alone, and then
> > > >>>
> > > >>> Lights out: in bed by nine each night,
> > > >>> Some nights wanting to pee with fright,
> > > >>> Face and pyjama bottoms down
> > > >>> As for my father's belt I'd wait.
> > > >>>
> > > >>> Oh, if I were a millionaire
> > > >>> I'd buy my father's house, and there
> > > >>> I'd build a bonfire, oh so high
> > > >>> Its flames would light up all the air.
> > > >>>
> > > >>> ~~
> > > >>> George J. Dance
> > > >>> from Logos and other logoi, 2021
> > > >> Okay, so the poem tells a story of remembered abuse.
> > > >> The extent to which the story in the poem reflects the
> > > >> true story of your life and memory is fundamentally
> > > >> irrelevant to the reader except to the extent that your
> > > >> life experience informs your ability to write emotionally
> > > >> convincing stories that are of interest to other people.
> > > >> When you say “My” father’s house, “By” George J. Dance,
> > > >> people are going to think you’re talking about yourself.
> > > >
> > > > Therefore, “my” recommendation is to change the title of “your” poem from
> > > > “My Father’s House” to “Our Father’s House”, and all of the relevant pronouns
> > > > from singular to plural possessive. “Our” Father’s House allows “you” to represent
> > > > and speak for “your” kin, those who identify with the speaker, and also provides a
> > > > subtle religious connotation, “Our Father, who art in heaven…”, that “My” does not.
> > > >
> > >
> > > Thanks for giving it so much thought and effort. I have to acknowledge
> > > that.
> > >
> > > Pluralizing all the pronouns would change the poem considerably, but one
> > > thing it wouldn't change is the confusion you mentioned. If someone
> > > thought this was a poem about my own father and childhood because it was
> > > titled "My Father's House," they'd be just as likely to think that if it
> > > were titled "Our Father's House".
> > >
> > > Except, of course, for that religious connotation; some might think it
> > > was a poem about God. But it's not a poem about God, and that's an
> > > interpretation I wouldn't want to encourage.
> > >
> > > > Lose the parentheses.
> > >
> > >
> > I like them. They're both interruptions in the speaker's thought process.
> Like I said, yes, I wondered why you would want to make the reader think the father of the poem was"God".
>
> HTH and HAND.

Quite correct.....

On Monday, November 28, 2022 at 10:05:34 AM UTC-5, george...@yahoo.ca wrote:
> On 2022-11-27 7:09 a.m., Spam-I-Am wrote:
> > On Sunday, November 27, 2022 at 6:39:31 AM UTC-5, george...@yahoo.ca wrote:
>
> >>> My Father's House
> >>>
> >>> This is my father's house, although
> >>> The man died thirteen years ago.
> >>> They said it would be quite all right
> >>> To take a drive to see it now.
> >>>
> >>> Dad laid those grey foundation blocks
> >>> And built the whole thing (from a box),
> >>> Toiling after each full day's work.
> >>> I helped, though I was only six.
> >>>
> >>> Look, here's the back door I would use
> >>> And here's where I'd remove my shoes
> >>> To enter; there I'd leave my things
> >>> And, when allowed, climb up these stairs.
> >>>
> >>> In this room I'd wash many a dish,
> >>> Gaze out this window, and I'd wish
> >>> To be so many other places.
> >>> (Wishy-washy? Oh, I guess!)
> >>>
> >>> Outside, the garden that he grew
> >>> Where I would work the summers through,
> >>> While watching my friends run and play
> >>> Mysterious games I never knew.
> >>>
> >>> That room's all changed; oh, where is it,
> >>> The one chair I was let to sit?
> >>> (For boys can be such filthy things.)
> >>> Which, the corner where boys were put?
> >>>
> >>> Oh ... down that hall there is a room
> >>> Where I'd be shut (as in a tomb)
> >>> After the meal, to make no noise,
> >>> To read or play alone, and then
> >>>
> >>> Lights out: in bed by nine each night,
> >>> Some nights wanting to pee with fright,
> >>> Face and pyjama bottoms down
> >>> As for my father's belt I'd wait.
> >>>
> >>> Oh, if I were a millionaire
> >>> I'd buy my father's house, and there
> >>> I'd build a bonfire, oh so high
> >>> Its flames would light up all the air.
> >>>
> >>> ~~
> >>> George J. Dance
> >>> from Logos and other logoi, 2021
> >> Okay, so the poem tells a story of remembered abuse.
> >> The extent to which the story in the poem reflects the
> >> true story of your life and memory is fundamentally
> >> irrelevant to the reader except to the extent that your
> >> life experience informs your ability to write emotionally
> >> convincing stories that are of interest to other people.
> >> When you say “My” father’s house, “By” George J. Dance,
> >> people are going to think you’re talking about yourself.
> >
> > Therefore, “my” recommendation is to change the title of “your” poem from
> > “My Father’s House” to “Our Father’s House”, and all of the relevant pronouns
> > from singular to plural possessive. “Our” Father’s House allows “you” to represent
> > and speak for “your” kin, those who identify with the speaker, and also provides a
> > subtle religious connotation, “Our Father, who art in heaven…”, that “My” does not.
> >
>
> Thanks for giving it so much thought and effort. I have to acknowledge
> that.
>
> Pluralizing all the pronouns would change the poem considerably, but one
> thing it wouldn't change is the confusion you mentioned. If someone
> thought this was a poem about my own father and childhood because it was
> titled "My Father's House," they'd be just as likely to think that if it
> were titled "Our Father's House".
>
> Except, of course, for that religious connotation; some might think it
> was a poem about God. But it's not a poem about God, and that's an
> interpretation I wouldn't want to encourage.

Exactly ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

> > Lose the parentheses.
>
> I like them. They're both interruptions in the speaker's thought process.

....

On Monday, November 28, 2022 at 4:50:14 PM UTC-5, Spam-I-Am wrote:
> On Monday, November 28, 2022 at 4:28:55 PM UTC-5, Will Dockery wrote:
> > On Monday, November 28, 2022 at 4:26:10 PM UTC-5, Spam-I-Am wrote:
> > > On Monday, November 28, 2022 at 4:22:29 PM UTC-5, Will Dockery wrote:
> > > > On Monday, November 28, 2022 at 1:37:28 PM UTC-5, George Dance wrote:
> > > > > > On 2022-11-27 7:09 a.m., Spam-I-Am wrote:
> > > > > > > On Sunday, November 27, 2022 at 6:39:31 AM UTC-5, Spam-I-Am wrote:
> > > > > > >> On Saturday, November 26, 2022 at 3:49:07 PM UTC-5, george....@yahoo.ca wrote:
> > > > > > >>> My Father's House
> > > > > > >>>
> > > > > > >>> This is my father's house, although
> > > > > > >>> The man died thirteen years ago.
> > > > > > >>> They said it would be quite all right
> > > > > > >>> To take a drive to see it now.
> > > > > > >>>
> > > > > > >>> Dad laid those grey foundation blocks
> > > > > > >>> And built the whole thing (from a box),
> > > > > > >>> Toiling after each full day's work.
> > > > > > >>> I helped, though I was only six.
> > > > > > >>>
> > > > > > >>> Look, here's the back door I would use
> > > > > > >>> And here's where I'd remove my shoes
> > > > > > >>> To enter; there I'd leave my things
> > > > > > >>> And, when allowed, climb up these stairs.
> > > > > > >>>
> > > > > > >>> In this room I'd wash many a dish,
> > > > > > >>> Gaze out this window, and I'd wish
> > > > > > >>> To be so many other places.
> > > > > > >>> (Wishy-washy? Oh, I guess!)
> > > > > > >>>
> > > > > > >>> Outside, the garden that he grew
> > > > > > >>> Where I would work the summers through,
> > > > > > >>> While watching my friends run and play
> > > > > > >>> Mysterious games I never knew.
> > > > > > >>>
> > > > > > >>> That room's all changed; oh, where is it,
> > > > > > >>> The one chair I was let to sit?
> > > > > > >>> (For boys can be such filthy things.)
> > > > > > >>> Which, the corner where boys were put?
> > > > > > >>>
> > > > > > >>> Oh ... down that hall there is a room
> > > > > > >>> Where I'd be shut (as in a tomb)
> > > > > > >>> After the meal, to make no noise,
> > > > > > >>> To read or play alone, and then
> > > > > > >>>
> > > > > > >>> Lights out: in bed by nine each night,
> > > > > > >>> Some nights wanting to pee with fright,
> > > > > > >>> Face and pyjama bottoms down
> > > > > > >>> As for my father's belt I'd wait.
> > > > > > >>>
> > > > > > >>> Oh, if I were a millionaire
> > > > > > >>> I'd buy my father's house, and there
> > > > > > >>> I'd build a bonfire, oh so high
> > > > > > >>> Its flames would light up all the air.
> > > > > > >>>
> > > > > > >>> ~~
> > > > > > >>> George J. Dance
> > > > > > >>> from Logos and other logoi, 2021
> > > > > > >> Okay, so the poem tells a story of remembered abuse.
> > > > > > >> The extent to which the story in the poem reflects the
> > > > > > >> true story of your life and memory is fundamentally
> > > > > > >> irrelevant to the reader except to the extent that your
> > > > > > >> life experience informs your ability to write emotionally
> > > > > > >> convincing stories that are of interest to other people.
> > > > > > >> When you say “My” father’s house, “By” George J. Dance,
> > > > > > >> people are going to think you’re talking about yourself.
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > Therefore, “my” recommendation is to change the title of “your” poem from
> > > > > > > “My Father’s House” to “Our Father’s House”, and all of the relevant pronouns
> > > > > > > from singular to plural possessive. “Our” Father’s House allows “you” to represent
> > > > > > > and speak for “your” kin, those who identify with the speaker, and also provides a
> > > > > > > subtle religious connotation, “Our Father, who art in heaven…”, that “My” does not.
> > > > > > >
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Thanks for giving it so much thought and effort. I have to acknowledge
> > > > > > that.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Pluralizing all the pronouns would change the poem considerably, but one
> > > > > > thing it wouldn't change is the confusion you mentioned. If someone
> > > > > > thought this was a poem about my own father and childhood because it was
> > > > > > titled "My Father's House," they'd be just as likely to think that if it
> > > > > > were titled "Our Father's House".
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Except, of course, for that religious connotation; some might think it
> > > > > > was a poem about God. But it's not a poem about God, and that's an
> > > > > > interpretation I wouldn't want to encourage.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > > Lose the parentheses.
> > > > > >
> > > > > >
> > > > > I like them. They're both interruptions in the speaker's thought process.
> > > > Like I said, yes, I wondered why you would want to make the reader think the father of the poem was"God".
> > > >
> > > > HTH and HAND.
> > > Like he said, he didn’t.
> > Right, because your suggestion made no sense to the poem.
> >
>
> Okay, if you say so. No worries.

Okay, have a great evening, Corey.

On Monday, November 28, 2022 at 4:28:55 PM UTC-5, Will Dockery wrote:
> On Monday, November 28, 2022 at 4:26:10 PM UTC-5, Spam-I-Am wrote:
> > On Monday, November 28, 2022 at 4:22:29 PM UTC-5, Will Dockery wrote:
> > > On Monday, November 28, 2022 at 1:37:28 PM UTC-5, George Dance wrote:
> > > > > On 2022-11-27 7:09 a.m., Spam-I-Am wrote:
> > > > > > On Sunday, November 27, 2022 at 6:39:31 AM UTC-5, Spam-I-Am wrote:
> > > > > >> On Saturday, November 26, 2022 at 3:49:07 PM UTC-5, george...@yahoo.ca wrote:
> > > > > >>> My Father's House
> > > > > >>>
> > > > > >>> This is my father's house, although
> > > > > >>> The man died thirteen years ago.
> > > > > >>> They said it would be quite all right
> > > > > >>> To take a drive to see it now.
> > > > > >>>
> > > > > >>> Dad laid those grey foundation blocks
> > > > > >>> And built the whole thing (from a box),
> > > > > >>> Toiling after each full day's work.
> > > > > >>> I helped, though I was only six.
> > > > > >>>
> > > > > >>> Look, here's the back door I would use
> > > > > >>> And here's where I'd remove my shoes
> > > > > >>> To enter; there I'd leave my things
> > > > > >>> And, when allowed, climb up these stairs.
> > > > > >>>
> > > > > >>> In this room I'd wash many a dish,
> > > > > >>> Gaze out this window, and I'd wish
> > > > > >>> To be so many other places.
> > > > > >>> (Wishy-washy? Oh, I guess!)
> > > > > >>>
> > > > > >>> Outside, the garden that he grew
> > > > > >>> Where I would work the summers through,
> > > > > >>> While watching my friends run and play
> > > > > >>> Mysterious games I never knew.
> > > > > >>>
> > > > > >>> That room's all changed; oh, where is it,
> > > > > >>> The one chair I was let to sit?
> > > > > >>> (For boys can be such filthy things.)
> > > > > >>> Which, the corner where boys were put?
> > > > > >>>
> > > > > >>> Oh ... down that hall there is a room
> > > > > >>> Where I'd be shut (as in a tomb)
> > > > > >>> After the meal, to make no noise,
> > > > > >>> To read or play alone, and then
> > > > > >>>
> > > > > >>> Lights out: in bed by nine each night,
> > > > > >>> Some nights wanting to pee with fright,
> > > > > >>> Face and pyjama bottoms down
> > > > > >>> As for my father's belt I'd wait.
> > > > > >>>
> > > > > >>> Oh, if I were a millionaire
> > > > > >>> I'd buy my father's house, and there
> > > > > >>> I'd build a bonfire, oh so high
> > > > > >>> Its flames would light up all the air.
> > > > > >>>
> > > > > >>> ~~
> > > > > >>> George J. Dance
> > > > > >>> from Logos and other logoi, 2021
> > > > > >> Okay, so the poem tells a story of remembered abuse.
> > > > > >> The extent to which the story in the poem reflects the
> > > > > >> true story of your life and memory is fundamentally
> > > > > >> irrelevant to the reader except to the extent that your
> > > > > >> life experience informs your ability to write emotionally
> > > > > >> convincing stories that are of interest to other people.
> > > > > >> When you say “My” father’s house, “By” George J. Dance,
> > > > > >> people are going to think you’re talking about yourself.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Therefore, “my” recommendation is to change the title of “your” poem from
> > > > > > “My Father’s House” to “Our Father’s House”, and all of the relevant pronouns
> > > > > > from singular to plural possessive. “Our” Father’s House allows “you” to represent
> > > > > > and speak for “your” kin, those who identify with the speaker, and also provides a
> > > > > > subtle religious connotation, “Our Father, who art in heaven…”, that “My” does not.
> > > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > > Thanks for giving it so much thought and effort. I have to acknowledge
> > > > > that.
> > > > >
> > > > > Pluralizing all the pronouns would change the poem considerably, but one
> > > > > thing it wouldn't change is the confusion you mentioned. If someone
> > > > > thought this was a poem about my own father and childhood because it was
> > > > > titled "My Father's House," they'd be just as likely to think that if it
> > > > > were titled "Our Father's House".
> > > > >
> > > > > Except, of course, for that religious connotation; some might think it
> > > > > was a poem about God. But it's not a poem about God, and that's an
> > > > > interpretation I wouldn't want to encourage.
> > > > >
> > > > > > Lose the parentheses.
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > I like them. They're both interruptions in the speaker's thought process.
> > > Like I said, yes, I wondered why you would want to make the reader think the father of the poem was"God".
> > >
> > > HTH and HAND.
> > Like he said, he didn’t.
> Right, because your suggestion made no sense to the poem.
>
> 🙂

Cory's suggestion would have given the poem another, deeper, layer of meaning: the inability of the father (or the son) to forgive. That inability to forgive led to abusive behavior by the father, and fantasies of arson by the son. I'm not surprised that you aren't capable of understanding that, you're profoundly anti-semantic. But it's alright, I forgive you.

On Tuesday, November 29, 2022 at 5:56:37 AM UTC-5, Robert Burrows wrote:
> On Monday, November 28, 2022 at 4:28:55 PM UTC-5, Will Dockery wrote:
> > On Monday, November 28, 2022 at 4:26:10 PM UTC-5, Spam-I-Am wrote:
> > > On Monday, November 28, 2022 at 4:22:29 PM UTC-5, Will Dockery wrote:
> > > > On Monday, November 28, 2022 at 1:37:28 PM UTC-5, George Dance wrote:
> > > > > > On 2022-11-27 7:09 a.m., Spam-I-Am wrote:
> > > > > > > On Sunday, November 27, 2022 at 6:39:31 AM UTC-5, Spam-I-Am wrote:
> > > > > > >> On Saturday, November 26, 2022 at 3:49:07 PM UTC-5, george....@yahoo.ca wrote:
> > > > > > >>> My Father's House
> > > > > > >>>
> > > > > > >>> This is my father's house, although
> > > > > > >>> The man died thirteen years ago.
> > > > > > >>> They said it would be quite all right
> > > > > > >>> To take a drive to see it now.
> > > > > > >>>
> > > > > > >>> Dad laid those grey foundation blocks
> > > > > > >>> And built the whole thing (from a box),
> > > > > > >>> Toiling after each full day's work.
> > > > > > >>> I helped, though I was only six.
> > > > > > >>>
> > > > > > >>> Look, here's the back door I would use
> > > > > > >>> And here's where I'd remove my shoes
> > > > > > >>> To enter; there I'd leave my things
> > > > > > >>> And, when allowed, climb up these stairs.
> > > > > > >>>
> > > > > > >>> In this room I'd wash many a dish,
> > > > > > >>> Gaze out this window, and I'd wish
> > > > > > >>> To be so many other places.
> > > > > > >>> (Wishy-washy? Oh, I guess!)
> > > > > > >>>
> > > > > > >>> Outside, the garden that he grew
> > > > > > >>> Where I would work the summers through,
> > > > > > >>> While watching my friends run and play
> > > > > > >>> Mysterious games I never knew.
> > > > > > >>>
> > > > > > >>> That room's all changed; oh, where is it,
> > > > > > >>> The one chair I was let to sit?
> > > > > > >>> (For boys can be such filthy things.)
> > > > > > >>> Which, the corner where boys were put?
> > > > > > >>>
> > > > > > >>> Oh ... down that hall there is a room
> > > > > > >>> Where I'd be shut (as in a tomb)
> > > > > > >>> After the meal, to make no noise,
> > > > > > >>> To read or play alone, and then
> > > > > > >>>
> > > > > > >>> Lights out: in bed by nine each night,
> > > > > > >>> Some nights wanting to pee with fright,
> > > > > > >>> Face and pyjama bottoms down
> > > > > > >>> As for my father's belt I'd wait.
> > > > > > >>>
> > > > > > >>> Oh, if I were a millionaire
> > > > > > >>> I'd buy my father's house, and there
> > > > > > >>> I'd build a bonfire, oh so high
> > > > > > >>> Its flames would light up all the air.
> > > > > > >>>
> > > > > > >>> ~~
> > > > > > >>> George J. Dance
> > > > > > >>> from Logos and other logoi, 2021
> > > > > > >> Okay, so the poem tells a story of remembered abuse.
> > > > > > >> The extent to which the story in the poem reflects the
> > > > > > >> true story of your life and memory is fundamentally
> > > > > > >> irrelevant to the reader except to the extent that your
> > > > > > >> life experience informs your ability to write emotionally
> > > > > > >> convincing stories that are of interest to other people.
> > > > > > >> When you say “My” father’s house, “By” George J. Dance,
> > > > > > >> people are going to think you’re talking about yourself.
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > Therefore, “my” recommendation is to change the title of “your” poem from
> > > > > > > “My Father’s House” to “Our Father’s House”, and all of the relevant pronouns
> > > > > > > from singular to plural possessive. “Our” Father’s House allows “you” to represent
> > > > > > > and speak for “your” kin, those who identify with the speaker, and also provides a
> > > > > > > subtle religious connotation, “Our Father, who art in heaven…”, that “My” does not.
> > > > > > >
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Thanks for giving it so much thought and effort. I have to acknowledge
> > > > > > that.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Pluralizing all the pronouns would change the poem considerably, but one
> > > > > > thing it wouldn't change is the confusion you mentioned. If someone
> > > > > > thought this was a poem about my own father and childhood because it was
> > > > > > titled "My Father's House," they'd be just as likely to think that if it
> > > > > > were titled "Our Father's House".
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Except, of course, for that religious connotation; some might think it
> > > > > > was a poem about God. But it's not a poem about God, and that's an
> > > > > > interpretation I wouldn't want to encourage.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > > Lose the parentheses.
> > > > > >
> > > > > >
> > > > > I like them. They're both interruptions in the speaker's thought process.
> > > > Like I said, yes, I wondered why you would want to make the reader think the father of the poem was"God".
> > > >
> > > > HTH and HAND.
> > > Like he said, he didn’t.
> > Right, because your suggestion made no sense to the poem.
> >
> > 🙂
> Cory's suggestion would have given the poem another, deeper, layer of meaning: the inability of the father (or the son) to forgive. That inability to forgive led to abusive behavior by the father, and fantasies of arson by the son. I'm not surprised that you aren't capable of understanding that, you're profoundly anti-semantic. But it's alright, I forgive you.

George is correct. My suggestions would make his poem a completely different poem.

On Tuesday, November 29, 2022 at 6:14:23 AM UTC-5, Spam-I-Am wrote:
> On Tuesday, November 29, 2022 at 5:56:37 AM UTC-5, Robert Burrows wrote:
> > On Monday, November 28, 2022 at 4:28:55 PM UTC-5, Will Dockery wrote:
> > > On Monday, November 28, 2022 at 4:26:10 PM UTC-5, Spam-I-Am wrote:
> > > > On Monday, November 28, 2022 at 4:22:29 PM UTC-5, Will Dockery wrote:
> > > > > On Monday, November 28, 2022 at 1:37:28 PM UTC-5, George Dance wrote:
> > > > > > > On 2022-11-27 7:09 a.m., Spam-I-Am wrote:
> > > > > > > > On Sunday, November 27, 2022 at 6:39:31 AM UTC-5, Spam-I-Am wrote:
> > > > > > > >> On Saturday, November 26, 2022 at 3:49:07 PM UTC-5, george....@yahoo.ca wrote:
> > > > > > > >>> My Father's House
> > > > > > > >>>
> > > > > > > >>> This is my father's house, although
> > > > > > > >>> The man died thirteen years ago.
> > > > > > > >>> They said it would be quite all right
> > > > > > > >>> To take a drive to see it now.
> > > > > > > >>>
> > > > > > > >>> Dad laid those grey foundation blocks
> > > > > > > >>> And built the whole thing (from a box),
> > > > > > > >>> Toiling after each full day's work.
> > > > > > > >>> I helped, though I was only six.
> > > > > > > >>>
> > > > > > > >>> Look, here's the back door I would use
> > > > > > > >>> And here's where I'd remove my shoes
> > > > > > > >>> To enter; there I'd leave my things
> > > > > > > >>> And, when allowed, climb up these stairs.
> > > > > > > >>>
> > > > > > > >>> In this room I'd wash many a dish,
> > > > > > > >>> Gaze out this window, and I'd wish
> > > > > > > >>> To be so many other places.
> > > > > > > >>> (Wishy-washy? Oh, I guess!)
> > > > > > > >>>
> > > > > > > >>> Outside, the garden that he grew
> > > > > > > >>> Where I would work the summers through,
> > > > > > > >>> While watching my friends run and play
> > > > > > > >>> Mysterious games I never knew.
> > > > > > > >>>
> > > > > > > >>> That room's all changed; oh, where is it,
> > > > > > > >>> The one chair I was let to sit?
> > > > > > > >>> (For boys can be such filthy things.)
> > > > > > > >>> Which, the corner where boys were put?
> > > > > > > >>>
> > > > > > > >>> Oh ... down that hall there is a room
> > > > > > > >>> Where I'd be shut (as in a tomb)
> > > > > > > >>> After the meal, to make no noise,
> > > > > > > >>> To read or play alone, and then
> > > > > > > >>>
> > > > > > > >>> Lights out: in bed by nine each night,
> > > > > > > >>> Some nights wanting to pee with fright,
> > > > > > > >>> Face and pyjama bottoms down
> > > > > > > >>> As for my father's belt I'd wait.
> > > > > > > >>>
> > > > > > > >>> Oh, if I were a millionaire
> > > > > > > >>> I'd buy my father's house, and there
> > > > > > > >>> I'd build a bonfire, oh so high
> > > > > > > >>> Its flames would light up all the air.
> > > > > > > >>>
> > > > > > > >>> ~~
> > > > > > > >>> George J. Dance
> > > > > > > >>> from Logos and other logoi, 2021
> > > > > > > >> Okay, so the poem tells a story of remembered abuse.
> > > > > > > >> The extent to which the story in the poem reflects the
> > > > > > > >> true story of your life and memory is fundamentally
> > > > > > > >> irrelevant to the reader except to the extent that your
> > > > > > > >> life experience informs your ability to write emotionally
> > > > > > > >> convincing stories that are of interest to other people.
> > > > > > > >> When you say “My” father’s house, “By” George J. Dance,
> > > > > > > >> people are going to think you’re talking about yourself.
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > Therefore, “my” recommendation is to change the title of “your” poem from
> > > > > > > > “My Father’s House” to “Our Father’s House”, and all of the relevant pronouns
> > > > > > > > from singular to plural possessive. “Our” Father’s House allows “you” to represent
> > > > > > > > and speak for “your” kin, those who identify with the speaker, and also provides a
> > > > > > > > subtle religious connotation, “Our Father, who art in heaven…”, that “My” does not.
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > Thanks for giving it so much thought and effort. I have to acknowledge
> > > > > > > that.
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > Pluralizing all the pronouns would change the poem considerably, but one
> > > > > > > thing it wouldn't change is the confusion you mentioned. If someone
> > > > > > > thought this was a poem about my own father and childhood because it was
> > > > > > > titled "My Father's House," they'd be just as likely to think that if it
> > > > > > > were titled "Our Father's House".
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > Except, of course, for that religious connotation; some might think it
> > > > > > > was a poem about God. But it's not a poem about God, and that's an
> > > > > > > interpretation I wouldn't want to encourage.
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > Lose the parentheses.
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > I like them. They're both interruptions in the speaker's thought process.
> > > > > Like I said, yes, I wondered why you would want to make the reader think the father of the poem was"God".
> > > > >
> > > > > HTH and HAND.
> > > > Like he said, he didn’t.
> > > Right, because your suggestion made no sense to the poem.
> > >
> > > 🙂
> > Cory's suggestion would have given the poem another, deeper, layer of meaning: the inability of the father (or the son) to forgive. That inability to forgive led to abusive behavior by the father, and fantasies of arson by the son. I'm not surprised that you aren't capable of understanding that, you're profoundly anti-semantic. But it's alright, I forgive you.
> George is correct. My suggestions would make his poem a completely different poem.

George’s poem, as it stands, is irredeemable.

Spam-I-Am wrote:

> On Tuesday, November 29, 2022 at 5:56:37 AM UTC-5, Robert Burrows wrote:
>> On Monday, November 28, 2022 at 4:28:55 PM UTC-5, Will Dockery wrote:
>> > On Monday, November 28, 2022 at 4:26:10 PM UTC-5, Spam-I-Am wrote:
>> > > On Monday, November 28, 2022 at 4:22:29 PM UTC-5, Will Dockery wrote:
>> > > > On Monday, November 28, 2022 at 1:37:28 PM UTC-5, George Dance wrote:
>> > > > > > On 2022-11-27 7:09 a.m., Spam-I-Am wrote:
>> > > > > > > On Sunday, November 27, 2022 at 6:39:31 AM UTC-5, Spam-I-Am wrote:
>> > > > > > >> On Saturday, November 26, 2022 at 3:49:07 PM UTC-5, george.....@yahoo.ca wrote:
>> > > > > > >>> My Father's House
>> > > > > > >>>
>> > > > > > >>> This is my father's house, although
>> > > > > > >>> The man died thirteen years ago.
>> > > > > > >>> They said it would be quite all right
>> > > > > > >>> To take a drive to see it now.
>> > > > > > >>>
>> > > > > > >>> Dad laid those grey foundation blocks
>> > > > > > >>> And built the whole thing (from a box),
>> > > > > > >>> Toiling after each full day's work.
>> > > > > > >>> I helped, though I was only six.
>> > > > > > >>>
>> > > > > > >>> Look, here's the back door I would use
>> > > > > > >>> And here's where I'd remove my shoes
>> > > > > > >>> To enter; there I'd leave my things
>> > > > > > >>> And, when allowed, climb up these stairs.
>> > > > > > >>>
>> > > > > > >>> In this room I'd wash many a dish,
>> > > > > > >>> Gaze out this window, and I'd wish
>> > > > > > >>> To be so many other places.
>> > > > > > >>> (Wishy-washy? Oh, I guess!)
>> > > > > > >>>
>> > > > > > >>> Outside, the garden that he grew
>> > > > > > >>> Where I would work the summers through,
>> > > > > > >>> While watching my friends run and play
>> > > > > > >>> Mysterious games I never knew.
>> > > > > > >>>
>> > > > > > >>> That room's all changed; oh, where is it,
>> > > > > > >>> The one chair I was let to sit?
>> > > > > > >>> (For boys can be such filthy things.)
>> > > > > > >>> Which, the corner where boys were put?
>> > > > > > >>>
>> > > > > > >>> Oh ... down that hall there is a room
>> > > > > > >>> Where I'd be shut (as in a tomb)
>> > > > > > >>> After the meal, to make no noise,
>> > > > > > >>> To read or play alone, and then
>> > > > > > >>>
>> > > > > > >>> Lights out: in bed by nine each night,
>> > > > > > >>> Some nights wanting to pee with fright,
>> > > > > > >>> Face and pyjama bottoms down
>> > > > > > >>> As for my father's belt I'd wait.
>> > > > > > >>>
>> > > > > > >>> Oh, if I were a millionaire
>> > > > > > >>> I'd buy my father's house, and there
>> > > > > > >>> I'd build a bonfire, oh so high
>> > > > > > >>> Its flames would light up all the air.
>> > > > > > >>>
>> > > > > > >>> ~~
>> > > > > > >>> George J. Dance
>> > > > > > >>> from Logos and other logoi, 2021
>> > > > > > >> Okay, so the poem tells a story of remembered abuse.
>> > > > > > >> The extent to which the story in the poem reflects the
>> > > > > > >> true story of your life and memory is fundamentally
>> > > > > > >> irrelevant to the reader except to the extent that your
>> > > > > > >> life experience informs your ability to write emotionally
>> > > > > > >> convincing stories that are of interest to other people.
>> > > > > > >> When you say “My” father’s house, “By” George J. Dance,
>> > > > > > >> people are going to think you’re talking about yourself.
>> > > > > > >
>> > > > > > > Therefore, “my” recommendation is to change the title of “your” poem from
>> > > > > > > “My Father’s House” to “Our Father’s House”, and all of the relevant pronouns
>> > > > > > > from singular to plural possessive. “Our” Father’s House allows “you” to represent
>> > > > > > > and speak for “your” kin, those who identify with the speaker, and also provides a
>> > > > > > > subtle religious connotation, “Our Father, who art in heaven…”, that “My” does not.
>> > > > > > >
>> > > > > >
>> > > > > > Thanks for giving it so much thought and effort. I have to acknowledge
>> > > > > > that.
>> > > > > >
>> > > > > > Pluralizing all the pronouns would change the poem considerably, but one
>> > > > > > thing it wouldn't change is the confusion you mentioned. If someone
>> > > > > > thought this was a poem about my own father and childhood because it was
>> > > > > > titled "My Father's House," they'd be just as likely to think that if it
>> > > > > > were titled "Our Father's House".
>> > > > > >
>> > > > > > Except, of course, for that religious connotation; some might think it
>> > > > > > was a poem about God. But it's not a poem about God, and that's an
>> > > > > > interpretation I wouldn't want to encourage.
>> > > > > >
>> > > > > > > Lose the parentheses.
>> > > > > >
>> > > > > >
>> > > > > I like them. They're both interruptions in the speaker's thought process.
>> > > > Like I said, yes, I wondered why you would want to make the reader think the father of the poem was"God".
>> > > >
>> > > > HTH and HAND.
>> > > Like he said, he didn’t.
>> > Right, because your suggestion made no sense to the poem.
>> >
>>
>> Cory's suggestion would have given the poem another, deeper, layer of meaning: the inability of the father (or the son) to forgive. That inability to forgive led to abusive behavior by the father, and fantasies of arson by the son. I'm not surprised that you aren't capable of understanding that, you're profoundly anti-semantic. But it's alright, I forgive you.

> George is correct. My suggestions would make his poem a completely different poem.

Yes, I don't think George wants that.

On Tuesday, November 29, 2022 at 8:58:48 AM UTC-5, Will Dockery wrote:
> Spam-I-Am wrote:
>
> > On Tuesday, November 29, 2022 at 5:56:37 AM UTC-5, Robert Burrows wrote:
> >> On Monday, November 28, 2022 at 4:28:55 PM UTC-5, Will Dockery wrote:
> >> > On Monday, November 28, 2022 at 4:26:10 PM UTC-5, Spam-I-Am wrote:
> >> > > On Monday, November 28, 2022 at 4:22:29 PM UTC-5, Will Dockery wrote:
> >> > > > On Monday, November 28, 2022 at 1:37:28 PM UTC-5, George Dance wrote:
> >> > > > > > On 2022-11-27 7:09 a.m., Spam-I-Am wrote:
> >> > > > > > > On Sunday, November 27, 2022 at 6:39:31 AM UTC-5, Spam-I-Am wrote:
> >> > > > > > >> On Saturday, November 26, 2022 at 3:49:07 PM UTC-5, george....@yahoo.ca wrote:
> >> > > > > > >>> My Father's House
> >> > > > > > >>>
> >> > > > > > >>> This is my father's house, although
> >> > > > > > >>> The man died thirteen years ago.
> >> > > > > > >>> They said it would be quite all right
> >> > > > > > >>> To take a drive to see it now.
> >> > > > > > >>>
> >> > > > > > >>> Dad laid those grey foundation blocks
> >> > > > > > >>> And built the whole thing (from a box),
> >> > > > > > >>> Toiling after each full day's work.
> >> > > > > > >>> I helped, though I was only six.
> >> > > > > > >>>
> >> > > > > > >>> Look, here's the back door I would use
> >> > > > > > >>> And here's where I'd remove my shoes
> >> > > > > > >>> To enter; there I'd leave my things
> >> > > > > > >>> And, when allowed, climb up these stairs.
> >> > > > > > >>>
> >> > > > > > >>> In this room I'd wash many a dish,
> >> > > > > > >>> Gaze out this window, and I'd wish
> >> > > > > > >>> To be so many other places.
> >> > > > > > >>> (Wishy-washy? Oh, I guess!)
> >> > > > > > >>>
> >> > > > > > >>> Outside, the garden that he grew
> >> > > > > > >>> Where I would work the summers through,
> >> > > > > > >>> While watching my friends run and play
> >> > > > > > >>> Mysterious games I never knew.
> >> > > > > > >>>
> >> > > > > > >>> That room's all changed; oh, where is it,
> >> > > > > > >>> The one chair I was let to sit?
> >> > > > > > >>> (For boys can be such filthy things.)
> >> > > > > > >>> Which, the corner where boys were put?
> >> > > > > > >>>
> >> > > > > > >>> Oh ... down that hall there is a room
> >> > > > > > >>> Where I'd be shut (as in a tomb)
> >> > > > > > >>> After the meal, to make no noise,
> >> > > > > > >>> To read or play alone, and then
> >> > > > > > >>>
> >> > > > > > >>> Lights out: in bed by nine each night,
> >> > > > > > >>> Some nights wanting to pee with fright,
> >> > > > > > >>> Face and pyjama bottoms down
> >> > > > > > >>> As for my father's belt I'd wait.
> >> > > > > > >>>
> >> > > > > > >>> Oh, if I were a millionaire
> >> > > > > > >>> I'd buy my father's house, and there
> >> > > > > > >>> I'd build a bonfire, oh so high
> >> > > > > > >>> Its flames would light up all the air.
> >> > > > > > >>>
> >> > > > > > >>> ~~
> >> > > > > > >>> George J. Dance
> >> > > > > > >>> from Logos and other logoi, 2021
> >> > > > > > >> Okay, so the poem tells a story of remembered abuse.
> >> > > > > > >> The extent to which the story in the poem reflects the
> >> > > > > > >> true story of your life and memory is fundamentally
> >> > > > > > >> irrelevant to the reader except to the extent that your
> >> > > > > > >> life experience informs your ability to write emotionally
> >> > > > > > >> convincing stories that are of interest to other people.
> >> > > > > > >> When you say “My” father’s house, “By” George J. Dance,
> >> > > > > > >> people are going to think you’re talking about yourself.
> >> > > > > > >
> >> > > > > > > Therefore, “my” recommendation is to change the title of “your” poem from
> >> > > > > > > “My Father’s House” to “Our Father’s House”, and all of the relevant pronouns
> >> > > > > > > from singular to plural possessive. “Our” Father’s House allows “you” to represent
> >> > > > > > > and speak for “your” kin, those who identify with the speaker, and also provides a
> >> > > > > > > subtle religious connotation, “Our Father, who art in heaven…”, that “My” does not.
> >> > > > > > >
> >> > > > > >
> >> > > > > > Thanks for giving it so much thought and effort. I have to acknowledge
> >> > > > > > that.
> >> > > > > >
> >> > > > > > Pluralizing all the pronouns would change the poem considerably, but one
> >> > > > > > thing it wouldn't change is the confusion you mentioned. If someone
> >> > > > > > thought this was a poem about my own father and childhood because it was
> >> > > > > > titled "My Father's House," they'd be just as likely to think that if it
> >> > > > > > were titled "Our Father's House".
> >> > > > > >
> >> > > > > > Except, of course, for that religious connotation; some might think it
> >> > > > > > was a poem about God. But it's not a poem about God, and that's an
> >> > > > > > interpretation I wouldn't want to encourage.
> >> > > > > >
> >> > > > > > > Lose the parentheses.
> >> > > > > >
> >> > > > > >
> >> > > > > I like them. They're both interruptions in the speaker's thought process.
> >> > > > Like I said, yes, I wondered why you would want to make the reader think the father of the poem was"God".
> >> > > >
> >> > > > HTH and HAND.
> >> > > Like he said, he didn’t.
> >> > Right, because your suggestion made no sense to the poem.
> >> >
> >>
> >> Cory's suggestion would have given the poem another, deeper, layer of meaning: the inability of the father (or the son) to forgive. That inability to forgive led to abusive behavior by the father, and fantasies of arson by the son. I'm not surprised that you aren't capable of understanding that, you're profoundly anti-semantic. But it's alright, I forgive you.
>
> > George is correct. My suggestions would make his poem a completely different poem.
> Yes, I don't think George wants that.

Obviously not.

On Monday, November 28, 2022 at 10:05:34 AM UTC-5, george...@yahoo.ca wrote:
> On 2022-11-27 7:09 a.m., Spam-I-Am wrote:
> > On Sunday, November 27, 2022 at 6:39:31 AM UTC-5, Spam-I-Am wrote:
> >> On Saturday, November 26, 2022 at 3:49:07 PM UTC-5, george...@yahoo.ca wrote:
>
> >>> My Father's House
> >>>
> >>> This is my father's house, although
> >>> The man died thirteen years ago.
> >>> They said it would be quite all right
> >>> To take a drive to see it now.
> >>>
> >>> Dad laid those grey foundation blocks
> >>> And built the whole thing (from a box),
> >>> Toiling after each full day's work.
> >>> I helped, though I was only six.
> >>>
> >>> Look, here's the back door I would use
> >>> And here's where I'd remove my shoes
> >>> To enter; there I'd leave my things
> >>> And, when allowed, climb up these stairs.
> >>>
> >>> In this room I'd wash many a dish,
> >>> Gaze out this window, and I'd wish
> >>> To be so many other places.
> >>> (Wishy-washy? Oh, I guess!)
> >>>
> >>> Outside, the garden that he grew
> >>> Where I would work the summers through,
> >>> While watching my friends run and play
> >>> Mysterious games I never knew.
> >>>
> >>> That room's all changed; oh, where is it,
> >>> The one chair I was let to sit?
> >>> (For boys can be such filthy things.)
> >>> Which, the corner where boys were put?
> >>>
> >>> Oh ... down that hall there is a room
> >>> Where I'd be shut (as in a tomb)
> >>> After the meal, to make no noise,
> >>> To read or play alone, and then
> >>>
> >>> Lights out: in bed by nine each night,
> >>> Some nights wanting to pee with fright,
> >>> Face and pyjama bottoms down
> >>> As for my father's belt I'd wait.
> >>>
> >>> Oh, if I were a millionaire
> >>> I'd buy my father's house, and there
> >>> I'd build a bonfire, oh so high
> >>> Its flames would light up all the air.
> >>>
> >>> ~~
> >>> George J. Dance
> >>> from Logos and other logoi, 2021
> >> Okay, so the poem tells a story of remembered abuse.
> >> The extent to which the story in the poem reflects the
> >> true story of your life and memory is fundamentally
> >> irrelevant to the reader except to the extent that your
> >> life experience informs your ability to write emotionally
> >> convincing stories that are of interest to other people.
> >> When you say “My” father’s house, “By” George J. Dance,
> >> people are going to think you’re talking about yourself.
> >
> > Therefore, “my” recommendation is to change the title of “your” poem from
> > “My Father’s House” to “Our Father’s House”, and all of the relevant pronouns
> > from singular to plural possessive. “Our” Father’s House allows “you” to represent
> > and speak for “your” kin, those who identify with the speaker, and also provides a
> > subtle religious connotation, “Our Father, who art in heaven…”, that “My” does not.
> >
>
> Thanks for giving it so much thought and effort. I have to acknowledge
> that.
>
> Pluralizing all the pronouns would change the poem considerably, but one
> thing it wouldn't change is the confusion you mentioned. If someone
> thought this was a poem about my own father and childhood because it was
> titled "My Father's House," they'd be just as likely to think that if it
> were titled "Our Father's House".
>
> Except, of course, for that religious connotation; some might think it
> was a poem about God. But it's not a poem about God, and that's an
> interpretation I wouldn't want to encourage.
>
> > Lose the parentheses.
>
> I like them. They're both interruptions in the speaker's thought process.

Like I said, George doesn't want to turn the poem "into a different poem".

HTH and HAND.

On Tuesday, November 29, 2022 at 9:40:43 AM UTC-5, Will Dockery wrote:
> On Monday, November 28, 2022 at 10:05:34 AM UTC-5, george...@yahoo.ca wrote:
> > On 2022-11-27 7:09 a.m., Spam-I-Am wrote:
> > > On Sunday, November 27, 2022 at 6:39:31 AM UTC-5, Spam-I-Am wrote:
> > >> On Saturday, November 26, 2022 at 3:49:07 PM UTC-5, george...@yahoo.ca wrote:
> >
> > >>> My Father's House
> > >>>
> > >>> This is my father's house, although
> > >>> The man died thirteen years ago.
> > >>> They said it would be quite all right
> > >>> To take a drive to see it now.
> > >>>
> > >>> Dad laid those grey foundation blocks
> > >>> And built the whole thing (from a box),
> > >>> Toiling after each full day's work.
> > >>> I helped, though I was only six.
> > >>>
> > >>> Look, here's the back door I would use
> > >>> And here's where I'd remove my shoes
> > >>> To enter; there I'd leave my things
> > >>> And, when allowed, climb up these stairs.
> > >>>
> > >>> In this room I'd wash many a dish,
> > >>> Gaze out this window, and I'd wish
> > >>> To be so many other places.
> > >>> (Wishy-washy? Oh, I guess!)
> > >>>
> > >>> Outside, the garden that he grew
> > >>> Where I would work the summers through,
> > >>> While watching my friends run and play
> > >>> Mysterious games I never knew.
> > >>>
> > >>> That room's all changed; oh, where is it,
> > >>> The one chair I was let to sit?
> > >>> (For boys can be such filthy things.)
> > >>> Which, the corner where boys were put?
> > >>>
> > >>> Oh ... down that hall there is a room
> > >>> Where I'd be shut (as in a tomb)
> > >>> After the meal, to make no noise,
> > >>> To read or play alone, and then
> > >>>
> > >>> Lights out: in bed by nine each night,
> > >>> Some nights wanting to pee with fright,
> > >>> Face and pyjama bottoms down
> > >>> As for my father's belt I'd wait.
> > >>>
> > >>> Oh, if I were a millionaire
> > >>> I'd buy my father's house, and there
> > >>> I'd build a bonfire, oh so high
> > >>> Its flames would light up all the air.
> > >>>
> > >>> ~~
> > >>> George J. Dance
> > >>> from Logos and other logoi, 2021
> > >> Okay, so the poem tells a story of remembered abuse.
> > >> The extent to which the story in the poem reflects the
> > >> true story of your life and memory is fundamentally
> > >> irrelevant to the reader except to the extent that your
> > >> life experience informs your ability to write emotionally
> > >> convincing stories that are of interest to other people.
> > >> When you say “My” father’s house, “By” George J. Dance,
> > >> people are going to think you’re talking about yourself.
> > >
> > > Therefore, “my” recommendation is to change the title of “your” poem from
> > > “My Father’s House” to “Our Father’s House”, and all of the relevant pronouns
> > > from singular to plural possessive. “Our” Father’s House allows “you” to represent
> > > and speak for “your” kin, those who identify with the speaker, and also provides a
> > > subtle religious connotation, “Our Father, who art in heaven…”, that “My” does not.
> > >
> >
> > Thanks for giving it so much thought and effort. I have to acknowledge
> > that.
> >
> > Pluralizing all the pronouns would change the poem considerably, but one
> > thing it wouldn't change is the confusion you mentioned. If someone
> > thought this was a poem about my own father and childhood because it was
> > titled "My Father's House," they'd be just as likely to think that if it
> > were titled "Our Father's House".
> >
> > Except, of course, for that religious connotation; some might think it
> > was a poem about God. But it's not a poem about God, and that's an
> > interpretation I wouldn't want to encourage.
> >
> > > Lose the parentheses.
> >
> > I like them. They're both interruptions in the speaker's thought process.
> Like I said, George doesn't want to turn the poem "into a different poem"..
>
> HTH and HAND.

Obviously not.

On Tuesday, November 29, 2022 at 9:42:37 AM UTC-5, Spam-I-Am wrote:
> On Tuesday, November 29, 2022 at 9:40:43 AM UTC-5, Will Dockery wrote:
> > On Monday, November 28, 2022 at 10:05:34 AM UTC-5, george...@yahoo.ca wrote:
> > > On 2022-11-27 7:09 a.m., Spam-I-Am wrote:
> > > > On Sunday, November 27, 2022 at 6:39:31 AM UTC-5, Spam-I-Am wrote:
> > > >> On Saturday, November 26, 2022 at 3:49:07 PM UTC-5, george...@yahoo.ca wrote:
> > >
> > > >>> My Father's House
> > > >>>
> > > >>> This is my father's house, although
> > > >>> The man died thirteen years ago.
> > > >>> They said it would be quite all right
> > > >>> To take a drive to see it now.
> > > >>>
> > > >>> Dad laid those grey foundation blocks
> > > >>> And built the whole thing (from a box),
> > > >>> Toiling after each full day's work.
> > > >>> I helped, though I was only six.
> > > >>>
> > > >>> Look, here's the back door I would use
> > > >>> And here's where I'd remove my shoes
> > > >>> To enter; there I'd leave my things
> > > >>> And, when allowed, climb up these stairs.
> > > >>>
> > > >>> In this room I'd wash many a dish,
> > > >>> Gaze out this window, and I'd wish
> > > >>> To be so many other places.
> > > >>> (Wishy-washy? Oh, I guess!)
> > > >>>
> > > >>> Outside, the garden that he grew
> > > >>> Where I would work the summers through,
> > > >>> While watching my friends run and play
> > > >>> Mysterious games I never knew.
> > > >>>
> > > >>> That room's all changed; oh, where is it,
> > > >>> The one chair I was let to sit?
> > > >>> (For boys can be such filthy things.)
> > > >>> Which, the corner where boys were put?
> > > >>>
> > > >>> Oh ... down that hall there is a room
> > > >>> Where I'd be shut (as in a tomb)
> > > >>> After the meal, to make no noise,
> > > >>> To read or play alone, and then
> > > >>>
> > > >>> Lights out: in bed by nine each night,
> > > >>> Some nights wanting to pee with fright,
> > > >>> Face and pyjama bottoms down
> > > >>> As for my father's belt I'd wait.
> > > >>>
> > > >>> Oh, if I were a millionaire
> > > >>> I'd buy my father's house, and there
> > > >>> I'd build a bonfire, oh so high
> > > >>> Its flames would light up all the air.
> > > >>>
> > > >>> ~~
> > > >>> George J. Dance
> > > >>> from Logos and other logoi, 2021
> > > >> Okay, so the poem tells a story of remembered abuse.
> > > >> The extent to which the story in the poem reflects the
> > > >> true story of your life and memory is fundamentally
> > > >> irrelevant to the reader except to the extent that your
> > > >> life experience informs your ability to write emotionally
> > > >> convincing stories that are of interest to other people.
> > > >> When you say “My” father’s house, “By” George J. Dance,
> > > >> people are going to think you’re talking about yourself.
> > > >
> > > > Therefore, “my” recommendation is to change the title of “your” poem from
> > > > “My Father’s House” to “Our Father’s House”, and all of the relevant pronouns
> > > > from singular to plural possessive. “Our” Father’s House allows “you” to represent
> > > > and speak for “your” kin, those who identify with the speaker, and also provides a
> > > > subtle religious connotation, “Our Father, who art in heaven…”, that “My” does not.
> > > >
> > >
> > > Thanks for giving it so much thought and effort. I have to acknowledge
> > > that.
> > >
> > > Pluralizing all the pronouns would change the poem considerably, but one
> > > thing it wouldn't change is the confusion you mentioned. If someone
> > > thought this was a poem about my own father and childhood because it was
> > > titled "My Father's House," they'd be just as likely to think that if it
> > > were titled "Our Father's House".
> > >
> > > Except, of course, for that religious connotation; some might think it
> > > was a poem about God. But it's not a poem about God, and that's an
> > > interpretation I wouldn't want to encourage.
> > >
> > > > Lose the parentheses.
> > >
> > > I like them. They're both interruptions in the speaker's thought process.
> > Like I said, George doesn't want to turn the poem "into a different poem".
> >
> > HTH and HAND.
> Obviously not.

Agreed.

On Tuesday, November 29, 2022 at 9:51:07 AM UTC-5, Will Dockery wrote:
> On Tuesday, November 29, 2022 at 9:42:37 AM UTC-5, Spam-I-Am wrote:
> > On Tuesday, November 29, 2022 at 9:40:43 AM UTC-5, Will Dockery wrote:
> > > On Monday, November 28, 2022 at 10:05:34 AM UTC-5, george...@yahoo.ca wrote:
> > > > On 2022-11-27 7:09 a.m., Spam-I-Am wrote:
> > > > > On Sunday, November 27, 2022 at 6:39:31 AM UTC-5, Spam-I-Am wrote:
> > > > >> On Saturday, November 26, 2022 at 3:49:07 PM UTC-5, george...@yahoo.ca wrote:
> > > >
> > > > >>> My Father's House
> > > > >>>
> > > > >>> This is my father's house, although
> > > > >>> The man died thirteen years ago.
> > > > >>> They said it would be quite all right
> > > > >>> To take a drive to see it now.
> > > > >>>
> > > > >>> Dad laid those grey foundation blocks
> > > > >>> And built the whole thing (from a box),
> > > > >>> Toiling after each full day's work.
> > > > >>> I helped, though I was only six.
> > > > >>>
> > > > >>> Look, here's the back door I would use
> > > > >>> And here's where I'd remove my shoes
> > > > >>> To enter; there I'd leave my things
> > > > >>> And, when allowed, climb up these stairs.
> > > > >>>
> > > > >>> In this room I'd wash many a dish,
> > > > >>> Gaze out this window, and I'd wish
> > > > >>> To be so many other places.
> > > > >>> (Wishy-washy? Oh, I guess!)
> > > > >>>
> > > > >>> Outside, the garden that he grew
> > > > >>> Where I would work the summers through,
> > > > >>> While watching my friends run and play
> > > > >>> Mysterious games I never knew.
> > > > >>>
> > > > >>> That room's all changed; oh, where is it,
> > > > >>> The one chair I was let to sit?
> > > > >>> (For boys can be such filthy things.)
> > > > >>> Which, the corner where boys were put?
> > > > >>>
> > > > >>> Oh ... down that hall there is a room
> > > > >>> Where I'd be shut (as in a tomb)
> > > > >>> After the meal, to make no noise,
> > > > >>> To read or play alone, and then
> > > > >>>
> > > > >>> Lights out: in bed by nine each night,
> > > > >>> Some nights wanting to pee with fright,
> > > > >>> Face and pyjama bottoms down
> > > > >>> As for my father's belt I'd wait.
> > > > >>>
> > > > >>> Oh, if I were a millionaire
> > > > >>> I'd buy my father's house, and there
> > > > >>> I'd build a bonfire, oh so high
> > > > >>> Its flames would light up all the air.
> > > > >>>
> > > > >>> ~~
> > > > >>> George J. Dance
> > > > >>> from Logos and other logoi, 2021
> > > > >> Okay, so the poem tells a story of remembered abuse.
> > > > >> The extent to which the story in the poem reflects the
> > > > >> true story of your life and memory is fundamentally
> > > > >> irrelevant to the reader except to the extent that your
> > > > >> life experience informs your ability to write emotionally
> > > > >> convincing stories that are of interest to other people.
> > > > >> When you say “My” father’s house, “By” George J. Dance,
> > > > >> people are going to think you’re talking about yourself.
> > > > >
> > > > > Therefore, “my” recommendation is to change the title of “your” poem from
> > > > > “My Father’s House” to “Our Father’s House”, and all of the relevant pronouns
> > > > > from singular to plural possessive. “Our” Father’s House allows “you” to represent
> > > > > and speak for “your” kin, those who identify with the speaker, and also provides a
> > > > > subtle religious connotation, “Our Father, who art in heaven…”, that “My” does not.
> > > > >
> > > >
> > > > Thanks for giving it so much thought and effort. I have to acknowledge
> > > > that.
> > > >
> > > > Pluralizing all the pronouns would change the poem considerably, but one
> > > > thing it wouldn't change is the confusion you mentioned. If someone
> > > > thought this was a poem about my own father and childhood because it was
> > > > titled "My Father's House," they'd be just as likely to think that if it
> > > > were titled "Our Father's House".
> > > >
> > > > Except, of course, for that religious connotation; some might think it
> > > > was a poem about God. But it's not a poem about God, and that's an
> > > > interpretation I wouldn't want to encourage.
> > > >
> > > > > Lose the parentheses.
> > > >
> > > > I like them. They're both interruptions in the speaker's thought process.
> > > Like I said, George doesn't want to turn the poem "into a different poem".
> > >
> > > HTH and HAND.
> > Obviously not.
> Agreed.

Well, there you go.

On Tuesday, November 29, 2022 at 9:58:29 AM UTC-5, Spam-I-Am wrote:
> On Tuesday, November 29, 2022 at 9:51:07 AM UTC-5, Will Dockery wrote:
> > On Tuesday, November 29, 2022 at 9:42:37 AM UTC-5, Spam-I-Am wrote:
> > > On Tuesday, November 29, 2022 at 9:40:43 AM UTC-5, Will Dockery wrote:
> > > > On Monday, November 28, 2022 at 10:05:34 AM UTC-5, george...@yahoo.ca wrote:
> > > > > On 2022-11-27 7:09 a.m., Spam-I-Am wrote:
> > > > > > On Sunday, November 27, 2022 at 6:39:31 AM UTC-5, Spam-I-Am wrote:
> > > > > >> On Saturday, November 26, 2022 at 3:49:07 PM UTC-5, george...@yahoo.ca wrote:
> > > > >
> > > > > >>> My Father's House
> > > > > >>>
> > > > > >>> This is my father's house, although
> > > > > >>> The man died thirteen years ago.
> > > > > >>> They said it would be quite all right
> > > > > >>> To take a drive to see it now.
> > > > > >>>
> > > > > >>> Dad laid those grey foundation blocks
> > > > > >>> And built the whole thing (from a box),
> > > > > >>> Toiling after each full day's work.
> > > > > >>> I helped, though I was only six.
> > > > > >>>
> > > > > >>> Look, here's the back door I would use
> > > > > >>> And here's where I'd remove my shoes
> > > > > >>> To enter; there I'd leave my things
> > > > > >>> And, when allowed, climb up these stairs.
> > > > > >>>
> > > > > >>> In this room I'd wash many a dish,
> > > > > >>> Gaze out this window, and I'd wish
> > > > > >>> To be so many other places.
> > > > > >>> (Wishy-washy? Oh, I guess!)
> > > > > >>>
> > > > > >>> Outside, the garden that he grew
> > > > > >>> Where I would work the summers through,
> > > > > >>> While watching my friends run and play
> > > > > >>> Mysterious games I never knew.
> > > > > >>>
> > > > > >>> That room's all changed; oh, where is it,
> > > > > >>> The one chair I was let to sit?
> > > > > >>> (For boys can be such filthy things.)
> > > > > >>> Which, the corner where boys were put?
> > > > > >>>
> > > > > >>> Oh ... down that hall there is a room
> > > > > >>> Where I'd be shut (as in a tomb)
> > > > > >>> After the meal, to make no noise,
> > > > > >>> To read or play alone, and then
> > > > > >>>
> > > > > >>> Lights out: in bed by nine each night,
> > > > > >>> Some nights wanting to pee with fright,
> > > > > >>> Face and pyjama bottoms down
> > > > > >>> As for my father's belt I'd wait.
> > > > > >>>
> > > > > >>> Oh, if I were a millionaire
> > > > > >>> I'd buy my father's house, and there
> > > > > >>> I'd build a bonfire, oh so high
> > > > > >>> Its flames would light up all the air.
> > > > > >>>
> > > > > >>> ~~
> > > > > >>> George J. Dance
> > > > > >>> from Logos and other logoi, 2021
> > > > > >> Okay, so the poem tells a story of remembered abuse.
> > > > > >> The extent to which the story in the poem reflects the
> > > > > >> true story of your life and memory is fundamentally
> > > > > >> irrelevant to the reader except to the extent that your
> > > > > >> life experience informs your ability to write emotionally
> > > > > >> convincing stories that are of interest to other people.
> > > > > >> When you say “My” father’s house, “By” George J. Dance,
> > > > > >> people are going to think you’re talking about yourself.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Therefore, “my” recommendation is to change the title of “your” poem from
> > > > > > “My Father’s House” to “Our Father’s House”, and all of the relevant pronouns
> > > > > > from singular to plural possessive. “Our” Father’s House allows “you” to represent
> > > > > > and speak for “your” kin, those who identify with the speaker, and also provides a
> > > > > > subtle religious connotation, “Our Father, who art in heaven…”, that “My” does not.
> > > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > > Thanks for giving it so much thought and effort. I have to acknowledge
> > > > > that.
> > > > >
> > > > > Pluralizing all the pronouns would change the poem considerably, but one
> > > > > thing it wouldn't change is the confusion you mentioned. If someone
> > > > > thought this was a poem about my own father and childhood because it was
> > > > > titled "My Father's House," they'd be just as likely to think that if it
> > > > > were titled "Our Father's House".
> > > > >
> > > > > Except, of course, for that religious connotation; some might think it
> > > > > was a poem about God. But it's not a poem about God, and that's an
> > > > > interpretation I wouldn't want to encourage.
> > > > >
> > > > > > Lose the parentheses.
> > > > >
> > > > > I like them. They're both interruptions in the speaker's thought process.
> > > > Like I said, George doesn't want to turn the poem "into a different poem".
> > > >
> > > > HTH and HAND.
> > > Obviously not.
> > Agreed.
> Well, there you go.

Great, have a nice day, Corey.

🙂